Intimacy issues with BF

[Sensual8725]

BF and i have a normal sex life. I enjoy the sex and intimacy very much and sex with him is one of the best sex i ever had. Usually we have sex twice a week, which i think can be further improved but he is always tired. I also spice up our sex life by wearing sexy lingerie everyday and costumes to arouse him. I bother to give blowjobs and different positions and have suggested outdoor sex. But our sex is still limited to a fixed schedule, I know when it will happen on the very 2 days every week. Sometimes, I try to arouse him by touching him and stripping into my sexy lingerie, but he gets irritated instead because it is simply not the day for sex, says he is tired, not in the mood and gets irritated. He therefore forbids me from touching his vital parts during the “non-sex days” which angers me.:mad:

Don’t ask me why. But I am very sure there is no third parties or affairs or FL activities. Let’s just factor this out. BF does watch porn and DIY, I know it because he doesn’t bother to delete the history. He is also into lan games and spend hours after work on them. There was a few months straight I didn’t have sex with him and he did not initiate either. He told me the lack of sex is due to wearing condom, so now we don’t wear a condom and sex frequency is normal.

I really don’t understand why. I am a 25yo attractive woman with good figure (I am a C cup with slim waist) and features and many men will be dying to have me touch them like that or being naughty. Why does he gets irritated instead? I always feel sexy but after my advances were rejected, I felt he is bringing my confidence down. He only likes me to arouse him when he wants sex, and I think it is damn selfish because I don’t even have the rights to touch him? This fills me up with much anger and resentment and now when guys ask me out, I go ahead because I felt pissed (no betrayal involved though and not interested in other guys.) Why does BF have an intimacy issue during “non-sex” days? This is really frustrating and getting to me. We do not have other relationship problems other than this lack of intimacy .

Thanks bros in advance for sharing your opinions. Sorry for the long message. :)

[madness88]

Hmm maybe sometimes he is really tired ? from what u describe I am sure many guy would willing be your bf he is really a luckly guy hope he will treasure u

[asdfghjkl]

i used to have an ex like him.. he is a self employed trader at home.. every time i tried to touch him while he is trading.. he would whack me.. :(

[Javanoob]

becos he is sian of you already la.. you know the answer you still ask.

[Likeucare]

becos he is sian of you already la.. you know the answer you still ask.

even when its a pretty babe?

i also feel my bf dun want to do it anymore... dont think theres fl or prostitution too.. =( he treats me very well in all areas except this.. he still holds my hand n try to touch me at times.. but thats all.. he can go on few months w/o sex is that normal..and no i am not bad in bed cos i used to have an ex who cant have it enough with me.. we could do many times each time and still find it kinky :(

gaming is his life :confused:

all gamers dun like sex that much ha? or really bored le?

-___- like that very soon all the gers will start a sammygirl forum le HAHAHAHA

[Xgenre]

Whose idea was it to have designated sex and non-sex days? When you strip to sexy lingerie, is it possible to have sex at that time and location? Is it private enough for sex? The long term solution to tiredness is actually exercise. He's not going to get fitter as he age unless he exercises. Perhaps you can go exercise with him. What does he do for a living? He sounds like he has a physically energy zapping job.

How do you touch his private parts? You didn't actually describe in detail? Touch from outside of his pants? Touch in public? (take mrt sometimes can see some girls who aren't shy) As a guy, it's sometimes quite frustrating to be aroused without the possibility of a release. Touch until he got to walk around with an erection, that's quite uncomfortable for guys. There is also the issue of respect. He may be your bf but his body is still his. Imagine us guys fingering our gfs whether the ladies like it or not because the ladies are our gfs. Ladies will be pissed off too right?

Meeting other men for confidence boosting doesn't solve the problems between you and your bf. If anything, it adds more problems. Does physical intimacy equate to love for you? Is there any non-physical way that he can show you that he loves you? Some girls I know like their bfs to send them 1 or 2 periodic sms each day to ask how the day is for the lady. It's like a confirmation that the guy got think of her. Will that work for you?

[nstern]

In the relationship, how are u like? Are you as demanding as well in other areas? I'm not saying ur sexual appetite is bad. Ur behavior in other areas might turn him off sex. No matter how sexy u are.

[hamsapkwai]

So how many PM you got already to volunteer to stand in for your bf non sex days? :p

[alan0338]

He therefore forbids me from touching his vital parts during the “non-sex days” which angers me.:mad:



tis part made me rofl ... :D :D :D

[Likeucare]

Whose idea was it to have designated sex and non-sex days? When you strip to sexy lingerie, is it possible to have sex at that time and location? Is it private enough for sex? The long term solution to tiredness is actually exercise. He's not going to get fitter as he age unless he exercises. Perhaps you can go exercise with him. What does he do for a living? He sounds like he has a physically energy zapping job.

How do you touch his private parts? You didn't actually describe in detail? Touch from outside of his pants? Touch in public? (take mrt sometimes can see some girls who aren't shy) As a guy, it's sometimes quite frustrating to be aroused without the possibility of a release. Touch until he got to walk around with an erection, that's quite uncomfortable for guys. There is also the issue of respect. He may be your bf but his body is still his. Imagine us guys fingering our gfs whether the ladies like it or not because the ladies are our gfs. Ladies will be pissed off too right?

Meeting other men for confidence boosting doesn't solve the problems between you and your bf. If anything, it adds more problems. Does physical intimacy equate to love for you? Is there any non-physical way that he can show you that he loves you? Some girls I know like their bfs to send them 1 or 2 periodic sms each day to ask how the day is for the lady. It's like a confirmation that the guy got think of her. Will that work for you?

ha ha quite true bo dai ji anyhow touch , touch aready dun want do. feel like slapping also

[Ecuader]

Most probably your bf is a bi sexual. and slowly turning into a gay. that happen to 1 of my fren who told me he found female nipples disgusting. now he's a complete and have a hunk bf. lol

[Sensual8725]

even when its a pretty babe?

i also feel my bf dun want to do it anymore... dont think theres fl or prostitution too.. =( he treats me very well in all areas except this.. he still holds my hand n try to touch me at times.. but thats all.. he can go on few months w/o sex is that normal..and no i am not bad in bed cos i used to have an ex who cant have it enough with me.. we could do many times each time and still find it kinky :(

gaming is his life :confused:

all gamers dun like sex that much ha? or really bored le?

-___- like that very soon all the gers will start a sammygirl forum le HAHAHAHA

Same as u, BF still holds my hands, touch me, hug, kiss etc and tells me he loves me very much everyday. There was once we argued and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? So now i decided not to initiate anything anymore. He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.

Xgenre, I go out with other guys not to boost my confidence. I am a confident woman but i do it because i need to keep myself occupied. i feel lonely in this relationship although on the surface, there is nothing wrong at all. At the same time, the way BF is behaving is putting me off.

It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. i just don't think a sex life should be so designated as sometimes i want it to be passionate and let things fall into place and not just a schedule. i usually initiated in bed so definitely its private enough and its around 9pm obviously he is not going to sleep yet. then he tells me he is tired. if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. he is only 3 years older than me, so i don't see how his energy for sex will be nil. at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

Thanks for replies. :)

[Likeucare]

u all living together ah? haha is he into diablo 3? coming out soon. u can say bye bye to sex n his soul very soon le

so how haha one day we should find one handsome stud and service us haha :D

=X

[Bigbadken]

Hi TS, look On the brighter side. At the very least (according to u), he is not out there fooling ard.

[jimz]

u all living together ah? haha is he into diablo 3? coming out soon. u can say bye bye to sex n his soul very soon le

so how haha one day we should find one handsome stud and service us haha :D

=X

hahahaha :D DIABLO 3 ROLEEE

[MeiMei5151]

.........and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? ........ He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.


It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. ......... if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. ........ at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

:)

dear TS, have you ever thought that your BF has autistic traits? His strict schedule and routine for which specific days/time to have sex are classical symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). There is nothing wrong with marrying someone with ASD as I always believed everyone is autistic in some ways or degree. It is a matter of whether you can accept and accommodate his so-called idiosyncracies.

The other more worrying thing is that he is a (self-)confirmed gaming addict. Like any addiction (gambling, drinking, drugs, etc) it won't go away unless he makes a considerable effort to kick the habit.

His watching porn and preference for masturbating instead of having sexual intercourse (when available) is again psychologically not right and typical of young boys fixation. His insistence on demanding sex whether or not you are in the mood again highlight his lack of emotional/mental maturity and belies his true love for you.

Sexual compatibility is not something that can be improved. You are either compatible or not. It is better to find out now and break off the relationship than force your way thru' a marriage without intimacy. Love is good but lust is more important and stronger in a relationship!

[owl888]

BF does watch porn and DIY, I know it because he doesn’t bother to delete the history. He is also into lan games and spend hours after work on them.

That's the problem! Coz he's too infatuated with LAN Games and the characters inside so he's neglected u. Since he's not treasure u so much, think maybe he's not the long term guy for u:confused:

I'm sure u can find better guy that loves u more than your current bf, u so young and pretty got plenty of time to find one. Do socialize around hope u can find your Mr Right! :p

[Gaofar]

My dear girl.. From what I see, this is your first man in your life?.. If so then I will not blame you but enlighten you instead..

Most men (if not all..) are "wired" in such a way that if they are concentrated in doing anything, be it playing games, watching a movie or cartoons/anime, even to serious work like drafting projects, brainstorming out new ideas.. Girls, girls, girls.. Please leave us alone and let us concentrate on our whatever things! I tell you that even if a girl stripped naked right next to me, most probably (I emphasised most probably har..) I will ignore her entirely!.. :p

Seriously, can't find a better time to "turn on"? Wa lau..

Tell you what, there are 2 ways to strategise against your other half:

1. Whenever he takes a "half-time" to rest from his concentration, make your move then. A movie is not going to take forever, then wait until the movie is over lah.. Dramas/Animes/Games, surely he will take a break to eat or rest. Make your move then..

2. "If you can't fight it, then join in!". Don't believe this strategy? Simple, just do a "reverse-thought-flow". If you have a guy who's hot for you, don't you think he will do whatever hobbies you are doing in order to get close to you? Same deal here..

Of course, there's always a side note of excessiveness.. If even during his "half-time" you initiate and still no response, besides shaking him and tell him that there's a problem and you two should sit down and talk about it, sometimes going mad and attempts to break his items will bring about his nomalcy and make him realise the seriousness of the issue.. Nothing like a "I going to jump if you don't talk/don't bother/don't fuck with me attitude".. :D

[Gaofar]

http://youtu.be/0ydXbJrQ4jc

[Gaofar]

This is most closely related to you!

http://youtu.be/BYF3LoLZDvw

Hope don't end up like this though.. Peace..

[asdfghjkl]

if he is into LAN games, i guess he is pretty young?

[sianlarh]

Same as u, BF still holds my hands, touch me, hug, kiss etc and tells me he loves me very much everyday. There was once we argued and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? So now i decided not to initiate anything anymore. He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.

Xgenre, I go out with other guys not to boost my confidence. I am a confident woman but i do it because i need to keep myself occupied. i feel lonely in this relationship although on the surface, there is nothing wrong at all. At the same time, the way BF is behaving is putting me off.

It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. i just don't think a sex life should be so designated as sometimes i want it to be passionate and let things fall into place and not just a schedule. i usually initiated in bed so definitely its private enough and its around 9pm obviously he is not going to sleep yet. then he tells me he is tired. if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. he is only 3 years older than me, so i don't see how his energy for sex will be nil. at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

Thanks for replies. :)

At least you know he still loves you and is not gay:)

Some guy prefers masturbation than sex just solely because masturbation provides much better sensation. It might be due to his inadequate ability to bring himself to the "climax". Try exercising with him like Xgenre said. Or you could try to improve on your bed skill.

Another thing is he said the lack of sex is due to condoms.
Yea, i feel him...sometimes i'd rather masturbate because that shit makes me feel nothing at all. But if no need wear condom, i'll quit porn, really envy him :D

Maybe you could try asking for a sex ban. No porn no sex for a week and see how that goes, that will certainly increase his desire for sex. (That is if he really make do with the ban)

[Sensual8725]

Sis, He's 28. I am 25. So pretty young?;)

Gaofar,
that's funny!
anyway he is not the first man in my life lar.. just didn't want him to get addicted to those fantasy games. i keep emphasizing to him that i am a real person, not his lan games. hope things will improve. games are a real relationship destroyer. :confused:

[stonned]

if he is into LAN games, i guess he is pretty young?

Not necessary leh, my bro (real one) who's late 30s still on LAN gaming almost every day for hours. No wonder his wif is not very happy oso....

[Likeucare]

haha tell me if u solve the problem a not ok, TS. I also having same problem. cannot sleep always .. want to do it but cant do it with him. dunno what to do already. once u had great sex before. masturbation is like shit. sorry to say that haha :(

[Sensual8725]

haha tell me if u solve the problem a not ok, TS. I also having same problem. cannot sleep always .. want to do it but cant do it with him. dunno what to do already. once u had great sex before. masturbation is like shit. sorry to say that haha :(

i will tell u soon. haha got ready my armour of sexy uniforms n lingerie. don't believe that he won't be aroused. unleash my weapons. heh heh :D

[LadyAngeline]

Originally Posted by Sensual8725
He therefore forbids me from touching his vital parts during the “non-sex days” which angers me.

tis part made me rofl ... :D :D :D

Me too....... :D

[BiRd13]

Probably he's just tired of work/lan game... I guessed he's not those high sex drive guy as if he needs, will just jerk away by watching porn or what... Twice per week I guessed is since the beginning ba... Probably once in awhile for few weeks/month, u both did not have sex... but again, I guess beside such cases, still have twice a week, and not lesser... If getting lesser, probably you need to take note already...

Try spice up your sex life... Your figure may be good, but if always using the same method (wear sexy lingerie etc), may get him bored at times... So probably can find some other way...

[Apocalypse]

Dress up like this is better than lingerie

http://www.60-fps.com/60fps/wp-content/gallery/sexy-female-characters/Nariko_Goddess_of_War.jpg

If he doesn't respond, than you change uniform to this

http://diablo3tips.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/diablo-3-wizard1.jpg

and throw a ice ball at his computer.

This usually work

[Gaofar]

Eh.. Minus the weaponaries please.. He will confirm run further away from you instead!.. :eek:

[consultant]

haha tell me if u solve the problem a not ok, TS. I also having same problem. cannot sleep always .. want to do it but cant do it with him. dunno what to do already. once u had great sex before. masturbation is like shit. sorry to say that haha :(
anytime u need protected intimacy pm me.

[Javanoob]

Same as u, BF still holds my hands, touch me, hug, kiss etc and tells me he loves me very much everyday. There was once we argued and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? So now i decided not to initiate anything anymore. He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.

Xgenre, I go out with other guys not to boost my confidence. I am a confident woman but i do it because i need to keep myself occupied. i feel lonely in this relationship although on the surface, there is nothing wrong at all. At the same time, the way BF is behaving is putting me off.

It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. i just don't think a sex life should be so designated as sometimes i want it to be passionate and let things fall into place and not just a schedule. i usually initiated in bed so definitely its private enough and its around 9pm obviously he is not going to sleep yet. then he tells me he is tired. if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. he is only 3 years older than me, so i don't see how his energy for sex will be nil. at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

Thanks for replies. :)

chicken rice very delicious, give u eat everyday how ? u want ?

[Javanoob]

even when its a pretty babe?

i also feel my bf dun want to do it anymore... dont think theres fl or prostitution too.. =( he treats me very well in all areas except this.. he still holds my hand n try to touch me at times.. but thats all.. he can go on few months w/o sex is that normal..and no i am not bad in bed cos i used to have an ex who cant have it enough with me.. we could do many times each time and still find it kinky :(

gaming is his life :confused:

all gamers dun like sex that much ha? or really bored le?

-___- like that very soon all the gers will start a sammygirl forum le HAHAHAHA

1) i am a gamer. i game since i am 15, now i am 29. i dont know how many gf break wif me becos i choose game over her.

2) be it a gamer, plumber, gambler, whatever, give me fiona xie anytime, i choose to fuck her 1st then play game

3) singapore and the whole world not only you 36C and not only you pretty, so why ur bf must so sian gian to fuck you.

why you all know the answer you all keep asking questions to make urself feel better when in the end, it felt much worst. ??

[burningicez]

Get him a new gf!

BF and i have a normal sex life. I enjoy the sex and intimacy very much and sex with him is one of the best sex i ever had. Usually we have sex twice a week, which i think can be further improved but he is always tired. I also spice up our sex life by wearing sexy lingerie everyday and costumes to arouse him. I bother to give blowjobs and different positions and have suggested outdoor sex. But our sex is still limited to a fixed schedule, I know when it will happen on the very 2 days every week. Sometimes, I try to arouse him by touching him and stripping into my sexy lingerie, but he gets irritated instead because it is simply not the day for sex, says he is tired, not in the mood and gets irritated. He therefore forbids me from touching his vital parts during the “non-sex days” which angers me.:mad:

Don’t ask me why. But I am very sure there is no third parties or affairs or FL activities. Let’s just factor this out. BF does watch porn and DIY, I know it because he doesn’t bother to delete the history. He is also into lan games and spend hours after work on them. There was a few months straight I didn’t have sex with him and he did not initiate either. He told me the lack of sex is due to wearing condom, so now we don’t wear a condom and sex frequency is normal.

I really don’t understand why. I am a 25yo attractive woman with good figure (I am a C cup with slim waist) and features and many men will be dying to have me touch them like that or being naughty. Why does he gets irritated instead? I always feel sexy but after my advances were rejected, I felt he is bringing my confidence down. He only likes me to arouse him when he wants sex, and I think it is damn selfish because I don’t even have the rights to touch him? This fills me up with much anger and resentment and now when guys ask me out, I go ahead because I felt pissed (no betrayal involved though and not interested in other guys.) Why does BF have an intimacy issue during “non-sex” days? This is really frustrating and getting to me. We do not have other relationship problems other than this lack of intimacy .

Thanks bros in advance for sharing your opinions. Sorry for the long message. :)

[shctaw]

Maybe you are not the only GF.

和尚多粥一点点

Only reason maybe he is feeding a few girls instead of you. Just maybe....

PS: Some men are good at hiding other girl from your sight and radar.

[RUNWEST]

Sista, he might have empty his round on the 'non-sex'days.

Nevertheless, you can always start off with a BJ, no guy will reject it. :D

[Xgenre]

I think he has a gaming addiction. That's the issue.

Please don't think that just because he doesn't want sex from you, he's getting sex elsewhere. There is no evidence and no links to suggest he's unfaithful. Be clear about that. Hope you aren't thinking of finding a substitute partner for sex.

[bmw7050black]

Sis, He's 28. I am 25. So pretty young?;)

Gaofar,
that's funny!
anyway he is not the first man in my life lar.. just didn't want him to get addicted to those fantasy games. i keep emphasizing to him that i am a real person, not his lan games. hope things will improve. games are a real relationship destroyer. :confused:

Hey gal

Y not u post ur pic, then let bros assess whether u attractive onot?

Either his didi cant make it, or sick & tired of you liao

[lamhai]

ts, do you show that you love him; do you cook his favorite food for him, ask his good frens to your place for dinner, rub his shoulder when he is tired, listen to him when he talks with full focus, greet him when he is back from work, care about his family and members, buy him dress, offer you help in your daily life with him, go some where for holidays with him, pay attention what game he is playing and what level he is at...do you?

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[Gambit7]

I had a very similar situation to TS at 1 stage of my life except I'm the guy part and TS is my gf. Therefore, i think i know what ur bf exactly feel. 1 main reason why he lacks the intimacy that u have been looking for is very very obvious to see. He simply disinterested in u already. Sorry guys, but guys' a bitch. U can't open ur card plainly for guys to see Or else he will feel very sian wan. Guys need that distance, time and space too in order for the love to stay fresh in the relationship. Also girls need to keep lots of things with her to keep the suspense up. To this ex-gf of mine did exactly like what u did. At first, i would feel wow this girl loves it!! Im so lucky!! This and that. But after awhile, when there's too much of sex without any real suspense, i got tired!! I dont want it anymore. It's so boring... Then along come games like CS or WOW, which i treat as a form of escape from all these boring stuffs... And when guys got to this point, sorry TS, u might have to do something very radical if u wanna recover from this like breaking up with her or something, to let her realise what he's missing, that way u might be able to return the fire back to this relationship. Mind u, I love sex, i would have sex with my ex-gf every day but the trick is to keep the suspense up. I proved this on my next gal. I treated her very delicately in term of this and we really had the time of our lives together...

[wittyman]

TS find some interesting spicy thing elsewheres, must understand everyday eat same dish the most painful thing to man. :D

if really nothing to do and depressed by bf remember lot of bros including me here willing to help :p

[Sensual8725]

Thanks Xgenre brother. I too thinks that it is due to the gaming addiction and he has no interest in sex and he is distracted all the time. He kinds of tells me his reason for gaming addiction is due to me being away and he does this to keep himself occupied.

I read through all the comments, some are invalid, while others are empathetic and thoughtful. Thank u nevertheless to those who bother to reply. I can only say, I have my reasons for being upset. We USED TO have sex twice a week. He has confined sex to 2 days of the week and I may not see him for those 2 days because I fly around. Tat is the reason y I said we did not do it for few months for one period of time. Most of the time when I return from overseas, he did not initiate sex as well after not seeing me for days at a time. THIS YEAR, I can also count the number of times we have sex with both hands, and I am not happy. I don't feel good because I don't feel the closeness. Its not like I need sex, guys. FYI, girls don't really need it or rather can don't have it. The urge is not really strong till we have to find someone to substitute. But I want to do it for the passion, the closeness and the intimacy and I puts in effort like dolling myself up every single day even when I am shagged out from flights, I buy sexy french lingeries and hunt for pretty lingeries during overseas trips ALL THE TIME. I don't mind sex toys even and am open to try as long if he OPENS UP TO ME! Am still pretty sure there is no infidelity, I have my own reasons for saying this but lazy to explain in details. Needless to say, I end up disappointed and disgruntled at the fact that I dress up beautifully in and out and got craps from him being tired ALL THE TIME. He's a white collar working in an office environment, i don't think he should get that tired! Look who's more tired? NOOO! I will be a laughing stock if I tell my real life friends about this because no one can believe it. Sex is nothing special without the passion and hence I told him I am switching it off for him if it doesn't work for us. :mad:

To be fair, lastly I want to state this . . . I think guys or girls likewise, if u fail your duty as a husband/bf/wife/gf to fulfill the intimacy and the vows of love or marriage, please don't blame people for being unfaithful! Lousy excuse!:(

[bmw7050black]

Thanks Xgenre brother. I too thinks that it is due to the gaming addiction and he has no interest in sex and he is distracted all the time. He kinds of tells me his reason for gaming addiction is due to me being away and he does this to keep himself occupied.

I read through all the comments, some are invalid, while others are empathetic and thoughtful. Thank u nevertheless to those who bother to reply. I can only say, I have my reasons for being upset. We USED TO have sex twice a week. He has confined sex to 2 days of the week and I may not see him for those 2 days because I fly around. Tat is the reason y I said we did not do it for few months for one period of time. Most of the time when I return from overseas, he did not initiate sex as well after not seeing me for days at a time. THIS YEAR, I can also count the number of times we have sex with both hands, and I am not happy. I don't feel good because I don't feel the closeness. Its not like I need sex, guys. FYI, girls don't really need it or rather can don't have it. The urge is not really strong till we have to find someone to substitute. But I want to do it for the passion, the closeness and the intimacy and I puts in effort like dolling myself up every single day even when I am shagged out from flights, I buy sexy french lingeries and hunt for pretty lingeries during overseas trips ALL THE TIME. I don't mind sex toys even and am open to try as long if he OPENS UP TO ME! Am still pretty sure there is no infidelity, I have my own reasons for saying this but lazy to explain in details. Needless to say, I end up disappointed and disgruntled at the fact that I dress up beautifully in and out and got craps from him being tired ALL THE TIME. He's a white collar working in an office environment, i don't think he should get that tired! Look who's more tired? NOOO! I will be a laughing stock if I tell my real life friends about this because no one can believe it. Sex is nothing special without the passion and hence I told him I am switching it off for him if it doesn't work for us. :mad:

To be fair, lastly I want to state this . . . I think guys or girls likewise, if u fail your duty as a husband/bf/wife/gf to fulfill the intimacy and the vows of love or marriage, please don't blame people for being unfaithful! Lousy excuse!:(


You r bluffing yourselg and dont have courage to face the fact. High possibility he going GL and found their skills much hgoher than your lah.

Wan our bros take turn train you onot?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Actually， sexual intimacy is a very sensitive taboo subject to discuss about.
Men women the same, in a sense that, once they've experienced a higher form of sexual pleasure other than the usual BJ or tonguing then penetration, all else prior to that is plain boring n non appealing anymore.
Personal point of view, been there, done that & experienced all that.
The only way I feel is, my dear, dun suggest or dress sexily to him, you wan, just RAPE him but fuck him in a way u never did like a wild hungry full of libido woman till his knees goes weak n doesn't stop moaning.
As u hv already explained clearly, the usual stroking n sexy dressing doesn't work anymore so it's plain silly to still apply the same techniques to try to seduce him.
But pls explore more ways n new techniques to keep his dick hard!
Trust me, if you can keep his dick hard for u, u hv ur man.
If he can't keep it HARD for u, ur in deep deep trouble!

[sane]

Duplicate post

[sane]

Thanks Xgenre brother. I too thinks that it is due to the gaming addiction and he has no interest in sex and he is distracted all the time. He kinds of tells me his reason for gaming addiction is due to me being away and he does this to keep himself occupied.

I read through all the comments, some are invalid, while others are empathetic and thoughtful. Thank u nevertheless to those who bother to reply. I can only say, I have my reasons for being upset. We USED TO have sex twice a week. He has confined sex to 2 days of the week and I may not see him for those 2 days because I fly around. Tat is the reason y I said we did not do it for few months for one period of time. Most of the time when I return from overseas, he did not initiate sex as well after not seeing me for days at a time. THIS YEAR, I can also count the number of times we have sex with both hands, and I am not happy. I don't feel good because I don't feel the closeness. Its not like I need sex, guys. FYI, girls don't really need it or rather can don't have it. The urge is not really strong till we have to find someone to substitute. But I want to do it for the passion, the closeness and the intimacy and I puts in effort like dolling myself up every single day even when I am shagged out from flights, I buy sexy french lingeries and hunt for pretty lingeries during overseas trips ALL THE TIME. I don't mind sex toys even and am open to try as long if he OPENS UP TO ME! Am still pretty sure there is no infidelity, I have my own reasons for saying this but lazy to explain in details. Needless to say, I end up disappointed and disgruntled at the fact that I dress up beautifully in and out and got craps from him being tired ALL THE TIME. He's a white collar working in an office environment, i don't think he should get that tired! Look who's more tired? NOOO! I will be a laughing stock if I tell my real life friends about this because no one can believe it. Sex is nothing special without the passion and hence I told him I am switching it off for him if it doesn't work for us. :mad:

To be fair, lastly I want to state this . . . I think guys or girls likewise, if u fail your duty as a husband/bf/wife/gf to fulfill the intimacy and the vows of love or marriage, please don't blame people for being unfaithful! Lousy excuse!:(

Its not ur fault n it's not that he dun luv u.

If the honeymoon period is over, n both of r already in a serious r/s, his true self prevails. He won't be changing even if after marriage. If u luv him, accept his everything include his flaws.

Lastly, dun take the risk of having unprotected sex, at the v least take contraception pills. The very last thing that u wan should be busy taking care of a kid while he's busy gaming.

[aerogun]

Gaming takes away the joy and concentration on sex. Sports doesn't. Been there, done that. :P

[5ag1_Boar]

1. Not all men are horny dogs like most SBF bros. (If you ask, I think most SBF bros would be happy to bed you at least once, if not twice a day on weekdays and 4 times a day on Sat and Sun. :p) Your guy is simply not into sex.

2. Some people loved to be touched, even just holding hands. Some don't. Of those who don't, some get irritated by touch. It's not personal... it's just the way they are.

3. Gamers take their games seriously. They don't like to be distracted during their games possibly because:
a. They are in the middle of a quest or mission and if they stop, they have to restart the level or chapter.
b. They have been trying to complete the quest or mission for a long time, and they might make it this time. So do NOT disturb. If they fail again because you distracted them, they may blame you.
c. They may be on a quest or mission with other players. They can't fly aeroplane and abandon them halfway.

4. Gaming world is an escape from the real world problems. He may be depressed. He may be having problems at work. He may feel neglected when you fly around so much.

5. Sometimes if guys are upset with their girl, intimacy feels disgusting, empty, contradictory and/or a myriad of other negative and distancing emotions. I went through that before. It's ironic because most of us have no problems having emotionless sex with FLs, ONS, FBs, etc at the same time we are going through that. I guess guys can draw a distinct line between sex and making love.

--------

In my opinion:
A. Figure out what is going on with him. Is it truly a gaming addiction? Or is something wrong in the relationship for him that makes him withdraw into that world. Do two things: (1) Have a heart to heart talk with him and ask him if he wants the relationship to be better. (2) Go WITH him to see a therapist or counsellor to figure out if he has a gaming addiction and if there are problems in the relationship. The main thing is you need him to realise/admit that something is wrong with the relationship, and decide whether he wants this relationship to work and fix it, then convince him to go see someone to get help. If you tell him, "I'm fed up, go counselling with me or else..." he may react the opposite way.

B. If he still does not think anything is wrong with the relationship, then it's time for you to leave him. Because if he becomes like this and thinks its normal, he's not the kind of guy you want to be with for life. Relationships need constant work and he is obviously taking things for granted. He may not realise that until you do something drastic.

[asdfghjkl]

yeah, good suggestion.. using reverse psychology may just work in your case. ;)

[ricrain29]

hahahaha :D DIABLO 3 ROLEEE

I just got my hands on Diablo 3, waited 10 years for it..... at this moment definitely better than sex...... ha ha ha!!

[asdfghjkl]

omg.. there are D3 fans here.. must have frustrated your spouse these days.. :eek:

[Apocalypse]

Sex is overrated but its still fun for the hour or so... Diablo on the other hand can last for hours, AND IT NEVER HAS A HEADACHE!!

Diablo won't go on a forum and grumble you only play with him only 3 times a week. :D

[janejane]

http://flygirlgamers.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/diablo-iii-it-thinks-its-going-to-steal-your-boyfriends/

Just like this huh~ lol:p

[wacs]

5ag1_Boar has a point. Seek therapy for gaming addiction, then a relationship counselor.

Gaming is an escape from the real world and he needs professional help as it is a sign of depression or worse yet bipolar disorder. As a disclaimer I am neither an expert nor authority on mental health, this is from my own personal experience and fight with very severe gaming addiction. I have been there it starts out small, then snowballs into a monster which takes over your life; until I was literally dragged by my very concerned girlfriend and fought the social stigma of going to a 'shrink'. My girlfriend shared the same frustrations as you. I have reformed, gaming reduced by 90%, and did not buy d3.

It may work for you too. PM me if you want the contact for a reliable and professional shrink in Singapore.

[hornie]

I would say that 99% the TS is a man, what are the chances that a Sensual C Cup sexy girl, with a hot porn star profile image, who is sexually frustrated with her boyfriend would end up on a sex forum meant for guys, and posting a request for advice?

On the other hand, what are the chances that a creepy guy created another account just for fun to frustrate us?

[asdfghjkl]

you mean the holidays are here, so fast ah? :o

[hornie]

holiday not here yet but exam finish already what

[asdfghjkl]

and they use the newly created Sammboy App to surf this in classroom? :o

[Sensual8725]

I would say that 99% the TS is a man, what are the chances that a Sensual C Cup sexy girl, with a hot porn star profile image, who is sexually frustrated with her boyfriend would end up on a sex forum meant for guys, and posting a request for advice?

On the other hand, what are the chances that a creepy guy created another account just for fun to frustrate us?

hello hello! i am 100% a girl.. why can't girls surf sex forum and ask for advice when we are frustrated especially meeting with such problems, can only ask in sex forum which guys frequent right? :rolleyes: then go where for advice, may i ask? all the other singapore forums are either spamming or girls forum with no guys to answer to this relevant topic. hope i clarified. :cool: and i think C cup sexy girl doesn't equal to porn star profile image.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

hello hello! i am 100% a girl.. why can't girls surf sex forum and ask for advice when we are frustrated especially meeting with such problems, can only ask in sex forum which guys frequent right? :rolleyes: then go where for advice, may i ask? all the other singapore forums are either spamming or girls forum with no guys to answer to this relevant topic. hope i clarified. :cool: and i think C cup sexy girl doesn't equal to porn star profile image.

What men want?
Where's the best place to get an answer?
SBF
C cup is not porn star image la.
Nowadays, porn star image = silicon tits, botox lips.
C cup innocent sweety pie become animal behind doors image is still the most desired irresistible image that is highly sought after.
Also, if a woman doesn't know how to use her body in entirety for receiving n giving pleasure, wat cup also just another piece of meat;)

[hornie]

I am just saying, that is the chances of this

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2012/1/30/1327937806908/Teenage-girls-surfing-the-007.jpg
vs

http://bananafeed.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/south-park-tsa1.jpg

[darrendon]

Not yet married already like this. After married will even be worse.
He is just getting bored of having sex with the same person. It is not that he wants to find others for sex but he is just a human. I believe most of us will tend to get bored of doing the same thing over and over again. Ask you watch the same movie 1000 times and you will get sick of it. I heard of men who go home have sex with wife just as a duty of a husband. But of course there are also exceptions.

I believe he still loves you but sex and love to men can be separated. Men is physically designed in a way that releasing is human nature just like peeing. But love is different. So if you want to continue with him, you will have to accept how he deals sex.

Go for an escape holiday in remote island etc. That will bring both of you together closer.

[darrendon]

yeah, good suggestion.. using reverse psychology may just work in your case. ;)

After so many years than recently I realise you are a WOMAN. :eek:

[checkeredstars]

hello hello! i am 100% a girl.. why can't girls surf sex forum and ask for advice when we are frustrated especially meeting with such problems, can only ask in sex forum which guys frequent right? :rolleyes: then go where for advice, may i ask? all the other singapore forums are either spamming or girls forum with no guys to answer to this relevant topic. hope i clarified. :cool: and i think C cup sexy girl doesn't equal to porn star profile image.
well, i am a girl too and i can totally relate to how you feel. i joined this forum because i will want to know more from the perspective of other people and see how i can improve on certain things.

but anyway babe, you are already 25 and I am around your age. At this age we tend to move on towards the settling down stage. If you can't tolerate him spending time playing with games and not being as sweet as tender as how he used to be, perhaps you can look at the efforts he have placed in you. He might facing stress at work or some unhappiness and playing with games is one of his avenue to vent out his anger. I mean, we would rather them play with games than sleep around yeah? But of course, because we are not in your shoes, it's not easy to understand what you are going through. If there's nothing worth for you to hold back, then cut it off before it's too late.

Sex is important, and so is communication. If either element is missing, especially in the early stage of marriage, conflicts will easily arise and temptations from other people will arrive easily.

We are only live life once. Don't settle for the less. All the best!

[AsianBoy86]

so nice .... i wish i can have a GF like u all but unfortunately thought out this 26 years im still single .. haiz :(
where is the love ~~~~~

[ston]

well, i am a girl too and i can totally relate to how you feel. i joined this forum because i will want to know more from the perspective of other people and see how i can improve on certain things.

but anyway babe, you are already 25 and I am around your age. At this age we tend to move on towards the settling down stage. If you can't tolerate him spending time playing with games and not being as sweet as tender as how he used to be, perhaps you can look at the efforts he have placed in you. He might facing stress at work or some unhappiness and playing with games is one of his avenue to vent out his anger. I mean, we would rather them play with games than sleep around yeah? But of course, because we are not in your shoes, it's not easy to understand what you are going through. If there's nothing worth for you to hold back, then cut it off before it's too late.

Sex is important, and so is communication. If either element is missing, especially in the early stage of marriage, conflicts will easily arise and temptations from other people will arrive easily.

We are only live life once. Don't settle for the less. All the best!

These assholes are taking you for granted lah... Cb diao qi lai mai.

This is sexual fustration, tell him you feeling insulted and sao xing when he react this way. It is cruel and not kind to you. If he dont appreciate, time to change bf. will not get better with marriage. Likely he will look for more exciting sex with other ppl too. Trust me. Men are bastards...

[scorpionnn]

It feel it takes 2 hands to clap.

I was a game addict too, many years ago (Heroes Online, if any bros/sis played it before :D). I have a very high sex drive too (2-3 times a day, 5-6 times a week) before I got hooked. Yes, I agree, gaming does kill your personal life, but hearing the "boom, piang, aaarrr..." does help you relieve your stress and frustration.

However, there are guys who are not so into sex. I did have a fb, she's not the best looker in town, but she does have some nice assets and figure, and she can literally fuck me throughout the night, till I "kio tolong", and mind you, she is no dead fish in bed. Reason for her fucking around, her fiancé (now husband) has extremely low libido. They basically have sex less than the number of public holidays we have a year (15 to be exact).

Moreover, you mentioned, he's a white collar. White collar jobs are physically demanding. I dunno which line he's in, but I've done some odd jobs during my younger days (plumbing, aluminium roofing, factory, banquet waiter), and honestly, my kuku jiao could hardly even feel my pee after a long tedious peak period day.

And from the way you post, I feel you're somewhat narcissist, demanding and maybe even over-bearing at times. That too can kill the mood.

In any case, both of you knows best what's going on. Communication is most important. If you can't get him to open up, as what a bro mentioned, see what game he's on, his IGN and you start playing too, getting close to him ingame but don't let him know its you. Once he's more comfortable with you, he'll start blurting out anything and everything. I'm sure some gamer bros here can relate, they do share private moments and daily ongoings with ingame friends.

FYI, I'm doing this with my teenage son now, cause he starts closing up the moment he hit sec.1, and it's working so far.

[RealEstateGuy]

Young Sistah, I think the only way you will be able to get it on with your BF more often is through a webcam of some sort or to get yourself online. So why not stay in another room and video chat sex with him. Apparently this is the way to reach his mind.

[hansolo7677]

Humans are selfish by nature. When he is doing something he enjoys, he just wants to be left alone to fully enjoy it. When he wants action, he will want it from you.

My advice is take it or leave it.

If you want to stay, then stick by his side when he is playing games or whatever, sometimes, when guys take a break.... they dont mind a quickie. Just dont expect foreplay or satisfaction.

[skipbeat]

Exactly, as above it takes two to clap and both to work on a relationship.

If you are not getting what you need and deserve in a relationship, drop and move on.

You do not forcefully and holding onto a puzzle piece that does not fit you.

Fate brings you together, but you learnt something out of it.

天涯何处无芳草

Good luck.

[SA23]

I agree with one of the bro who mention abt going for a short holiday trip, by going for trip chances that he does not have acess for any LAN gaming is very high. Therefore during this trip have a heart to heart talk with each other and let him understand ur thoughts but do remember that the trip is to help the both of u to break down this problem so u will have to also do ur part by listening to what he has to say.....

Sometime if a person intentionally tried to seduce he/her partner, it might just back fire coz we won't koe whether the other party wants to make love or not. Yes i understand tat when we r in love wif a person we would of course like to make love with them and have the feel of being love by them but if u really cherish him then i would want to say dun force dun have to seduce on purpose, u nv koe he might not like or want u to dress up sexily to arouse him. sometime no sex relationship can b better then those relationship tat can have sex everyday.

Come to think of it would u prefer him to play lan game when u r flying around frequently or would u want him to go out and look for some other gals and do things behind ur back.... I believe u shd have the answer to it.

[Ganbuaysua]

Exactly, as above it takes two to clap and both to work on a relationship.

If you are not getting what you need and deserve in a relationship, drop and move on.

You do not forcefully and holding onto a puzzle piece that does not fit you.

Fate brings you together, but you learnt something out of it.

天涯何处无芳草

Good luck.

Bro.. I think you got your point on your comment.
Cheers

[epicureanp]

Sensual,

Short and simple.... he's taken you for granted and placed other interest above you. No matter how attractive you are, once that happens you don't stand a chance. He'd probably think you're a bother for disrupting him be it whether he's lan gaming, cooking, arranging ikebana or taking a dump.

You gotta have a good talk with him about your concerns and he has come to terms that he has been neglecting you and focus on you again. Only when that happens can you both move forward. Else its time to go your separate ways.

-J

[shack]

i think sometimes when someone knows that you are always available and horny, it becomes boring and unattractive.

[gigigagago]

Hahaha wah your concern covers many layers... Hmm... I'd like to start by saying this - You must understand one very important fact about men:

We are very mission-based creatures. Our decisions, behaviours and actions encircles around this. We are not like women who can think and feel many things at the same time and still be coherent (still amazing to me). When we set our sights on something most likely we'd want to overcome it first before moving on to the next conquest. In most cases, it is also this trait of extreme focus that women like about men, as long as the men's conquest is still relevant to the women. Although in some cases, it frustrates women as well.

Whether or not you served yourself on a platter to him or he took reasonable amount of effort to eventually become your bf, it doesn't matter - you were once his main conquest. Maybe it could be your FA nature, thus not being around constantly, you dropped your status as his top priority on the conquest list. It may have affected him cos he felt lost without his main conquest.

The natural thing for him to do is to find another conquest, and in this case, rekindling his relationship with gaming. Gaming is always there for him. It reflects his skills and efforts and almost always reaps the rewards (satisfaction) he deserves after putting in the time. It provides stability in that sense, but also combining the thrill and variety that comes with playing. In that one conquest alone, it holds many missions for him to look forward to. This is a concoction of temptation that's hard to resist.

People may argue that, "sure or not knn one hot chick (I'm assuming) versus playing a fake game, how can the hot chick lose". Well, I can accept that it doesn't apply to every man, definitely. Even for me, if I still find my chick desirable, nothing can take my attention away fo shizzle. Screw gaming.

But what I'm saying is, if he has found an identity and a great significance that comes from playing these games, more so than paying attention to you (what with the flying and all), why would one be surprised if he paid more attention to the game eventually? Let me break it down even simpler for all:

Say the camaraderie with his game friends plus the identity he found from them plus the amount of significance his game friends made him feel, amounts to a grand total of 90% satisfaction. However on the other hand, his former #1 conquest (you) whom he probably gets about only 80% satisfaction at the moment, keeps prying him away from his 90% satisfaction, will the amount of satisfaction he gets from you fall lower and lower?

Some derive that satisfaction (thrill, connection, variety, stability etc) from different sources: sports, volunteer work, sex, career, gambling, drinking, smoking, reading, digging nose, murdering, kidnapping, violence, painting, singing etc - you get the idea. And you have other things that you derive satisfaction from as well. We all have. So my guess is you understand where I'm going.

I'm not saying that it is wrong for you to be flying, neither am I saying that must be the reason why you fell off his conquest list, I am just offering a possibility, and also a concept that lies beneath all the fluff, which you could personalise and start working from there. Nobody knows how better than you.

Try to think of ways that you could get back to #1 of his source of satisfaction. Through this, I am pretty sure he'd become your #1 as well. You gotta admit you are getting dissatisfied with him at the moment as well, don't you?

You are in a better position than he is for this, fortunately. Women sought to seek what they don't know; most men avoid and look away problems they can't solve (turning his attention to gaming for that feeling of satisfaction rather than going through the tougher way to sort things out with you).

Lastly, my most concrete advice I could offer at this point is, while you're trying to work this out, avoid doing this while he's gaming. Find time before or after. Don't create tension and thus making your % drop lower further.

As a woman, the temptation for you is to test him and make him choose between game and you at that point of time. I understand you may think that's the best way for you to evaluate your worth between game and you - which would he choose. You'd be highly tempted (which you already said you did before) to distract him while gaming, just to test him in hope you emerge victorious. Don't do that. Learn from a mistake. If that's not how men operate, why try so hard to fall on your face and lose your objective?

Think of a scenario where you go shopping for shoes and then your bf gets bored and tried to distract you and disturb you and how frustrated you are thinking "there's a time for everything", can't he just leave you to do what you want at that moment, and you'll get what I mean. Find an appropriate time.

All the best. ;)

[KHS2000]

BF and i have a normal sex life. I enjoy the sex and intimacy very much and sex with him is one of the best sex i ever had. Usually we have sex twice a week, which i think can be further improved but he is always tired. I also spice up our sex life by wearing sexy lingerie everyday and costumes to arouse him. I bother to give blowjobs and different positions and have suggested outdoor sex. But our sex is still limited to a fixed schedule, I know when it will happen on the very 2 days every week. Sometimes, I try to arouse him by touching him and stripping into my sexy lingerie, but he gets irritated instead because it is simply not the day for sex, says he is tired, not in the mood and gets irritated. He therefore forbids me from touching his vital parts during the “non-sex days” which angers me.:mad:

Don’t ask me why. But I am very sure there is no third parties or affairs or FL activities. Let’s just factor this out. BF does watch porn and DIY, I know it because he doesn’t bother to delete the history. He is also into lan games and spend hours after work on them. There was a few months straight I didn’t have sex with him and he did not initiate either. He told me the lack of sex is due to wearing condom, so now we don’t wear a condom and sex frequency is normal.

I really don’t understand why. I am a 25yo attractive woman with good figure (I am a C cup with slim waist) and features and many men will be dying to have me touch them like that or being naughty. Why does he gets irritated instead? I always feel sexy but after my advances were rejected, I felt he is bringing my confidence down. He only likes me to arouse him when he wants sex, and I think it is damn selfish because I don’t even have the rights to touch him? This fills me up with much anger and resentment and now when guys ask me out, I go ahead because I felt pissed (no betrayal involved though and not interested in other guys.) Why does BF have an intimacy issue during “non-sex” days? This is really frustrating and getting to me. We do not have other relationship problems other than this lack of intimacy .

Thanks bros in advance for sharing your opinions. Sorry for the long message. :)

Hello sis, you never mentioned how long been together with BF and how old is he. He may be still loving you but likely has no interest doing sex with you anymore.

Willing and passionate sex usually has no fix time table and frequency. Man normally need to release weekly at least once if not twice. If he did watch porno he is likely to fantasize certain acts which you are not likely to provide or daring to do. So ask yourself.

My guess is he is seeking professional pros to satisfy his desire. You have to discover. Unthinkable thing is not what ones expect of somebody you believe is not likely to be doing. Recall all the recent sexual headlines about many of the upper class doing the unthinkable. Sorry not to alarm you...