Help/advice please

[ouch7617]

This is the best place to look for help esp when someone betrayed ur trust n committed adultery.
My story in point form:

1. Found out affair
2. Been lied
3. Told not to care too much
4. Hire PI
5. PI trailed them, got evidence
6. Wanted divorce by d other party
7. I refused divorce
8. Still love d other party
9. Went holiday, still buy things for d other party
10. Knowing d other party went long holiday with partner
11. D other party said still want marriage
12. I cannot forget affair cos affair still taking place

I'm vexed. Please help. Thanks.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by ouch7617

I'm vexed. Please help. Thanks.

Time to move on.

[jizzmo]

You're like playing a 1 on 1 Big2 chua dai di game. Base on your situation with PI evidence, it also means that you have a much better hand and have total control of the game to finish this game ASAP. In life we have too many choices to make, seems like you really love your partner very much or perharps had many happy moments with her before which cause your dilema..

adultery isnt something that couldnt be forgotten easily. It has already left behind a scar that cannot be removed. You should take the chance to finish this Big2 game asap and move on as the saying goes, old one dont go, new one will never appear. Situation is abit tricky if you 2 already have children, but if still dont have, might as well just throw DI pair, straight flush, DI pair to end it. Sometimes thinking too much will cause you to end up losing.. and get your hands burnt.

[steve_74]

U gonna learn the Art Of Letting Go

[ekemono]

Once your spouse or loved one two time you, move on.
There is no negotiation.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Sometimes we must understand why our other LEGAL half seeks external flings.
We're men, we do it all the time.
Before we start pointing the finger at them, which is the most easiest and convenient thing to do, do spend some time too look at the possibilities if we, the men are actually the cause of it.
The feeling of a crush or infatuation is very very strong and if the bond between a couple is not strong enuff due to a number of reasons, its not difficult to understand why the other half couldnt hold back and went forward wif it.
More often then not, the most common reason is that one has taken the other half for granted and has not really paid much wanted & needed attention.
All couples need that and many fail in this dept...me included.
The fact that she doesnt wan a divorce is a point already.
But, if you're those that cant forgive & forget, you've already set the stage for divorce.

My personal advise to you is, take a good long thinker about the whole situation, look at yourself, what you have or havent done...think very deeply & clearly and be unbiased about it.....
After that, then think of how you wanna take this and decide what you wanna do then.
Do not, never ever let anger and emotion make your decisions. Do it wif a clear unclouded mind my friend.
Take care.

[FL Lover]

Originally Posted by ouch7617

This is the best place to look for help esp when someone betrayed ur trust n committed adultery.
My story in point form:

1. Found out affair
2. Been lied
3. Told not to care too much
4. Hire PI
5. PI trailed them, got evidence
6. Wanted divorce by d other party
7. I refused divorce
8. Still love d other party
9. Went holiday, still buy things for d other party
10. Knowing d other party went long holiday with partner
11. D other party said still want marriage
12. I cannot forget affair cos affair still taking place

I'm vexed. Please help. Thanks.

Bro, let me give you a piece of my advice...

Two qns to ask yorself or the oher half:

1) Does she still love you? If yes, how much does she love u? Are both of you willing to do anything to savethe marriage?
2) Do you have childiren? If yes, how old is the kid?

Try to talk to your other half and see if you can get the answers to what I have asked you. If you have kids, chances that both of you might still work the marriage out.

If the other half had given up on this marriage, its time to move on.

As the saying goes,

" When a ger had a change in her heart, it is useless no matter what u do"

Think abt it..

[Dgds]

IMHO, do all u can to win/court/woo her back as u mentioned u still love her. Although forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard...

Even if she choose to leave u, at least u know u have tried ur best to savage the marriage so no regrets...


my 0.5cts

[G.KT]

Forgiving each other is the best merit. To forgive and move on with life.

[ouch7617]

hey there,

U guys gave quite a number of gd advices.
Right now, she's still with her lover and told me that she'll break up with him becos she still want our relationship.
Yes, we both have a kid. She told me that she don't want our kid to have no either parent.
Therefore, I decided to stay and see what will happen. I hope I won't wait in vain. I guess that I didn't give her much attention and love which made her stray.
I really don't know if I can forgive, but maybe if she ends off with her lover I might forgive her... I really don't know.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by ouch7617

hey there,

U guys gave quite a number of gd advices.

"Advice" is a non countable noun. You do not add an "s" to make it plural.

The sentence should read "You guys gave quite a lot of good ADVICE".

[cablesnwires]

Hi TS, I can see you are trying to give yourself and your partner a chance to work this out. I wish you all the best!!

[kool8look]

So many sexperts here..... giving advises

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by kool8look

So many sexperts here..... giving advises

Should be "...giving ADVICE.".

There is no such noun as "advises".

[mebirdie]

You can together due to children commitment.

Beside that, things have changed. You will not never get back the old days.
Unless you get contented just to see her face daily.