Investment Bonking

[Lehmann bros]

Today's market has rebounded slightly with a rare find over in the eastern side of Spore. The index climbed 2.81% following news of a secluded massage firm providing exclusive services. Company XYZ has boast profits due to its entire shop dedicated to one customer at a time. Full privacy and its reclusiveness has added to the financial strength of this company. Classical music, dim lightings, candles and hygiene are some of its other strong points.
XYZ company is operated by the CEO and the CEO alone. No other employees or clients have access to company operations whilst you are dealing the CEO.
Profile of CEO
Origin : China, Beijing.
Name : Vietnam's currency x 2
Age : 30
Assets : 34 B-illion
Outlook : Positive (under dim light)
Intangible Assets : Accomodating, relaxed, friendly, chatty
Other Assets : Allows autoroam and other negotiables upon persuasion.
Liquidity : Yes
Profile of XYZ
Price : SGD30
Option price : SGD50
Off balance sheet : An hour of relaxing therapy and another hour of play (CEO took her time, literally had to cox each piece of clothing off) Paid for one hour only though. Time, money and agenda are all negotiable.
Moodyz Rating : A3
Analyst Recommendation : Buy
Downside : Returning home in one month, average outlook.

[owen10]

bro u muz b badly burnt by d stk mkt til u assimilate financial jargons into a sex forum. *LOL*

a good attempt BUT oso in danger of bein out of point as attempts of injecting some humour in yr post may end up with bros havin difficulty deciphering wat u r tryin to tell them!

muz not 4get not all bros in tis forum may b as financially intellectual as u ah!

[themoderator]

Ha bro
I liked alll the FR especially this

Name : Vietnam's currency x 2

[yonglee]

Quite interesting FR so do i need to send in my resume before i can work with them?

P/S: Can i hav their contact?

[Lauteko]

Originally Posted by themoderator

Ha bro
I liked alll the FR especially this

Name : Vietnam's currency x 2

You must try harder. Wat is the name of Viet Currency??? "Dong". Now you get it?

[kaira999]

lol. Thats a good one. Now you have shown us the financial fact sheet, how do we go about starting with the investment?

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by Lauteko

You must try harder. Wat is the name of Viet Currency??? "Dong". Now you get it?

I think he did get it. It's just that you don't understand that he understood. Read his comments again. May i have her contacts Ts? I like the fact the whole shop is closed when there is a customer.

[Lehmann bros]

Market fell by 5.50% today after company HZ declared a SGD$140 write- down. Company HZ is one of the heavily traded companies and also a favourites amongst local investors. This is the one of the biggest one day fall in 2 years. One of the staff at HZ company exemplified the common mistake of unpleasant and transactional demeanor leading to a 30% fall in the value of this company.

Profile of Staff

Origin : Malaysia
Name : Lina
Age : Late 30
Assets : Small
Outlook : Negative (Heavily leveraged on make-up)
Short term liabilities : Unable to produce competitive products. (ie) piano player. Company HZ's sales had previously relied on the quality of its main product.
Long term liabilites : Hard sell the top end goods without producing results.

Price of Company HZ : SGD40
Forecast dividends : Body Scrub
Actual Dividends : Covered only 20% of my back (Lower dividends due to lack of time)

Option price : SGD50 (Contract does not cover autoroam/nudity) (Underlying unable to rise) Near to maturity, option still out of the money

Hence persuaded to go into OTC futures trading,
Futures price : SGD100 (Contract includes nudity and intercourse) Underlying price rose but did not managed to ejaculate due to time-watching, mechanical-ness and low confidence (Gloomy expression) of investor/employee) Matured out of the money.

Off Balance Sheet : Employee was unfriendly and misrepresented the company. A quick review of other members during break did not boost morale as the outlook was also negative. CEO of the company however, has great asset and backing despite age. She is reputed in the industry but current management teams are mediocre nearing incompetent.

Moodyz Rating : B2
Analyst Recommendation : Hold
Downside : Great place / environment backed by capable CEO however management and staff has to go through some restructuring.

[Lehmann bros]

Market fell by 5.50% today after company HZ declared a SGD$140 write- down. Company HZ is one of the heavily traded companies and also a favourites amongst local investors. This is the one of the biggest one day fall in 2 years. One of the staff at HZ company exemplified the common mistake of unpleasant and transactional demeanor leading to a 30% fall in the value of this company.

Profile of Staff

Origin : Malaysia
Name : Lin- na(or)da
Age : Late 30
Assets : Small
Other Assets : Really Skinny.
Outlook : Negative (Heavily leveraged on make-up)
Short term liabilities : Unable to produce competitive products. (ie) piano player. Company HZ's sales had previously relied on the quality of its main product.
Long term liabilites : Hard sell the top end goods without producing results.

Price of Company HZ : SGD40
Forecast dividends : Body Scrub
Actual Dividends : Covered only 20% of my back (Lower dividends due to lack of time)

Option price : SGD50 (Contract does not cover autoroam/nudity) (Underlying unable to rise) Near to maturity, option still out of the money

Hence persuaded to go into OTC futures trading,
Futures price : SGD100 (Contract includes nudity and intercourse) Underlying price rose but did not managed to ejaculate due to time-watching, mechanical-ness and low confidence (Gloomy expression) of investor/employee) Matured out of the money.

Off Balance Sheet : Employee was unfriendly and misrepresented the company. A quick review of other members during break did not boost morale as the outlook was also negative. CEO of the company however, has great asset and backing despite age. She is reputed in the industry but current management teams are mediocre nearing incompetent.

Moodyz Rating : B2
Analyst Recommendation : Hold
Downside : Great place / environment backed by capable CEO however management and staff has to go through some restructuring.

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by Lehmann bros

XYZ company is operated by the CEO and the CEO alone. No other employees or clients have access to company operations whilst you are dealing the CEO.

Is the above still true? Is it still a one man operation or has she gotten another staff in from Malaysia? Or is the malaysian lady in another location? Your fr is innovative at first but frustrating and confusing.

[songbird]

Whahahaha... what a global mindset he has!

[ShittyAss]

Originally Posted by songbird

Whahahaha... what a global mindset he has!

I wonder where is the centralise area for all his global investment activities?? n0 location indicated sia..or did i not read it thoroughly?? Only mentioned eastern side of sillypore..

[Lehmann bros]

Would like to thank all for reading and participating in this thread. This investment arm is created primarily to review and analyse certain companies in this sector/industry from time to time. Companies are reviewed at random and without any other agenda except to promote free information in the marketplace. If in any case, nature of reports is deemed confusing or inaccrurate, do PM me to clarification and further advise.

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[Lehmann bros]

Market closed this week at 981.27 today (+1.00%). Trade volume went up due to optimism in the air after Congress has approved US700billion financial bailout and US Treasury has vowed quick action.
Top gainer of the day includes Company ZWS located in the central region of the island. Other gainers include textile industry and ica.

Profile of ZWS

Price : SGD38
Option price : SGD40
Background Info : Well decored. Clean. Individual Bath
Downside : Curtained Door.
LT Assets : Service orientated front line staff.

Profile of Employee
Origin : China
Age : Argubly 25
Assets : Above industry average
Outlook : Positive in ST/LT
Intangible asset : Friendly, relaxed and audible sounds when touched.
Performance : Sat beside bed with bedroom eyes with one leg raised for viewing and touching purposes. Standard quality hand-ling services.
Other Assets : Fairly strong balance sheet and liquidity. Pleasant deposition. Option Price Negotiable.

Moodyz Rating : A2
Analyst Recommendation : Buy if you are not looking at mssg quality. More for investors concerned with outlook.
Downside : Barely had much mssg / msh. However, customer service and presentation more than made up for it.

[soundworks]

Guess bro lehman must be in financial world. any tips for tomorrow market.