Serious teacher suffers burnt out after 4 years of teaching,is hopeful about repost t

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

When I first started teaching, I loved my job. I woke up every single morning, feeling grateful for having the opportunity to work with so many students and for having the chance to impact their lives. I went out of my way to help my students in every way possible. I have accompanied students to the hospital/clinic, I have had to go to the police station for students, and I have spent hours and hours trying to track down students who ran away from home. There were weeks where I would be in school from 7am to 7pm, and then go home to continue with work. After a while, to be specific, after about 4 years, I found myself losing steam. I no longer had the energy to give it all. I could no longer deal with constantly thinking about work, be it lessons, marking, about the welfare of the students or various other committee/cca work. I started going home earlier. I started imposing cut-off times for myself (i.e. if I am unable to finish the work by 5pm, it is just too much work). I started resenting myself for not being as dedicated as I was in the first few years of teaching. I constantly compared myself to what I was like 4 years ago, and felt that I had become so much more cynical.

That is when I decided I needed to get out. Perhaps not leave teaching forever, but to take a break, maybe from the school, or perhaps from teaching itself. For the next 3 years, I tried and tried and tried to get out. I wanted to stay within the ministry, but for various reasons (which I shall not bore you with), it never materialised. The harder it was to leave the school, the more I wanted to. Finally, last year June, I got a posting of my choice. I was ecstatic. I never gave much of a thought to my last week in school, assuming that I would be nothing but happy.

Today is the last day of the term, and my last day as a teacher for the next 3 years. I have spent the past few days feeling really down, and somehow, I do not feel as relieved or euphoric as I thought I would.

Rather, I feel a huge sense of loss. While I am glad I am leaving, because I do need the break, I am angry with myself for having allowed things to reach this stage. Where I placed so many unrealistic expectations on myself, to the point where I almost burnt out a mere 4 years into the service.

More at Of Farewells.


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