Uber sucks. take our pirate cab instead. *poison alert* 1.4.4.1

[Sammyboy RSS Feed]

An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

on orders of Galactus, i have been compelled to post this new thread.

first, a message from our sponsors - Alice Cooper (BURGERKILL)



Announcing the launch of the new POISON pirate taxi service. We are competing directly with Uber, because we are cheaper, better, faster.

Terms:
1. Advance bookings only. If you do not receive a reply, your booking has been rejected.
2. Flat fee for first 10km: $55.
3. Non-monetary tips only for kilometers 10.01 to infinity.
4. Only pick ups from HOME addresses.
5. If your advance booking is accepted, you will be informed of the vehicle number 1 hour before the appointed time.
6. If you do not receive the vehicle number 1 hour before the booking time, consider the booking rejected.
7. You will receive your appointed vehicle number by SMS only.
8. Please wait at HOME address and hold an umbrella. This is how our drivers will be able to identify you.
8.1 If you do not own an umbrella, then you must be MAD.
9. To show our sincerity that this is NOT a joke, we will provide you with the middle 4 digits of the source of our SMS to you.
10. 1-4-4-1
11. You must be above 21 years old to use our services. Proof of age is NOT required. Refer to Note 1.

Notes:
1. You will NOT be covered by insurance, as the vehicle insurance is only for personal use and not commercial use.
2. Once you send your advance booking request, you will be DEEMED to have accepted Note 1.
3. If you disagree with Note 2, please do not send your booking.
4. If you are dissatisfied with the service rendered, you will not receive a refund (refer to Note 8.) However, you may leave feedback HERE.
5. If you choose to complain to the authorities, we will hunt you down like the dogs that you are.
6. If you do not believe Note 5, please try our services.
7. 1441 refers to Term 9.
8. You will endeavour to pay the $55 upon receiving the appointed vehicle number.
9. If you do not show up upon receiving the appointed vehicle number, refer to Note 6.
10. Our automated spam filter will reject inappropriate personal messages.
11. Our drivers have been instructed not to carry their passports with them; Petrol is expensive. So is Diesel. Refer to Term 3.
12. This service is provided in the Democratic Republic of Singapore only.

Instructions:
To make an advance booking, please send a personal message to Silversurferlostinspace with:
a. Your pick up address.
b. The middle 4 digits of your contact number.
c. We will then contact you by an appropriate manner.
d. Please wait for further instructions after send us your middle 4 digits.

Services Rendered:
i. You will be picked up by a professional who has your best interest at heart.
ii. There will always be good music in the vehicle. However we do not entertain song request.
iii. If you disagree with the choice of music, you MAY request for a radio station of your choice.

Ask yourself, why the Cheesepie do i want to use this ridiculous pirate taxi service with such convoluted terms, notes and conditions?

Our company vision:
"FUCK UBER; We are the ULTIMATE"
"Your Safety is Our Safety"
"Waiting for your call"
"Will you be the first or last passenger"
"This is NOT a joke"
"1 for 1"
"Happy hour is for the bar only"


Click here to view the whole thread at www.sammyboy.com.