Water Melon thinks he very smart to show hand court cases

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Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/database-of-state-court/1406872.html

PEASANTPORE: A database of the results of cases prosecuted in the Imperial Kangaroo Courts – with the real aim of showing off to Ang Mohs under the guise of assisting the Kangaroo Bench maintain consistency in sentencing – is expected to be launched next year, Chief Legal Lackey Water Melon said on Thursday (Oct 9).

First announced at the Imperial Courts’ workplan seminar in 2012, the database, called the Asiatic Kangaroo Sentencing Information and Research Repository, will showcase record all relevant details of cases, including specific circumstances, aggravating and mitigating factors, and the eventual sentence.

“Of course, we only highlight the 'relevant cases', those politically inspired ones, of course, you will not find them in the database lor, even through my surname is Melon, but you think I really so stupid to make Ruler Loong and past Chief Legal Lackeys look like cheap petty Babylonian merchants?,” said Chief Legal Lackey Melon, who was speaking on Thursday at the inaugural two-day Sentencing Conference held at the Supreme Imperial Court.

“I know that the previous Chief Legal Lackey Chan, overly anxious to please Old Autocrat, once used Quantum Mechanics to get some clueless Minions out of hot soup by saying they somehow in polling station but not considered loitering within the polling station, Ang Mohs and Nihons laughing at us, that was an all time low, but we now moved on ok!”

However, arriving at the correct sentence in each case is not just the cheap judges’ role. Prosecutors merely have to submit Ruler Loong's Preferred Sentencing Edict to assist the Kangaroo Court in doing so, noted Melon.

Outlining the use of edicts in sentencing, he added that because it acts only in the Familee's interests, “there would generally be no need to exercise common sense since Ruler Loong's edict provided clear instructions for the sentencing.”

“Private legal lawsuits, we try to follow British Common Law Precedence Principles, but for political inspired ones, you know, I know, we merely merely wait for Familee's edicts.,” he hinted.

Melon said the prosecution has a vital role to play, for example, by ignoring the relevant sentencing precedents, benchmarks and guidelines to the Imperial Courts for political inspired cases. Many peasants saw what happened to Michael Khoo when he tried to be impartial and was promptly demoted after giving rebel Jaya a fair sentence.

On the courts’ part, Water Melon said pro familee judges, while trembling and obeying Familee's edicts are ultimately accountable for their sentencing decisions in the after life and it is therefore “incumbent” on them to do more charity after they retire else the wheels of retribution grinds slowly but surely.

This is especially so in political inspired cases because “personal liberties are affected and often the anti-regime defendants are beaten up Gestapo swines before they are demonized and proclaimed guilty in Show Trials. We Nehs got this karma concept, with Familee's backing, today you are high and mighty but when you meet Lord Yama, then you will pee in your pants and by then, too late liao lor?!”, he noted.


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