Your thoughts?

Stud00 · #1 18-06-2013, 01:55 AM

Dear Bros/Sis,

I recently met (a lady) who is happily married with kids, a good husband. But the thing is, she shared with me her past, and she is feeling a lot of stress and pain from her past. She was once a Freelance, and she did it then because of financial burden. Since she became attached/married, she has since stopped it.

What happened is, she bumped into her ex client while working, and in her line of work, it is extremely easy to get her contact nos, her nightmare started when her ex client got her nos, and started messaging her things.. being emo... and always wanted to meet her.. and just recently, asked her to go on a trip with him..

she is afraid, and her husband doesnt know the truth.. the worst part is, this fellow is stalking her.. texting her about the clothes she wear..etc.. basically being a big time asshole..

Personally i feel that, EVERYONE has a past.. noone is perfect.. so what if shes a Freelance.. it's in the PAST.. this asshole is basically reminding her of the past.. and attempting to bonk her?

What advice would you have for this lady?

For me: i have told her to be firm yet nice to this asshole, and tell him that she has long quit the scene, and to inform him to stop calling/messaging her.. if all else fails, lodge a police report..

I just want to know what you guys think..

Disclaimer, i did not ever patronize her..

Wintermelontea · #2 18-06-2013, 02:17 AM

Ignore? Sometimes it is better this way? And keep all messages just in case those come in handy to the police.

There will always be arseholes...so live with it as it did happen before. Just like we all have our exs...can be friends or total strangers...know what I mean?

For withholding the truth, she has to face the music. I hope she has good and close gal friends to listen and standby that shoulder. This sort of things not too good for a male friend, IMHO. Can get messy. Unless both do not mind.

wally888 · #3 18-06-2013, 02:18 AM

For the sake of family, change job, change HP no......

Bigbluebird · #4 18-06-2013, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stud00

For me: i have told her to be firm yet nice to this asshole, and tell him that she has long quit the scene, and to inform him to stop calling/messaging her.. if all else fails, lodge a police report..

Same as how I would advice her. Some irritating people need to be taught some respect

Stud00 · #5 18-06-2013, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bigbluebird

Same as how I would advice her. Some irritating people need to be taught some respect

Agreed, there are ways to deal with people like these..

justl00king · #6 18-06-2013, 03:36 AM

What she did was in the past and is now happily married with kids. This fact should be made known to that fellow telling him to buzz off.

If he continues stalking her with calls or sms, keep all call logs or sms as evidence. When required, to lodge a PR for sexual harrassment.

Putin · #7 18-06-2013, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justl00king

What she did was in the past and is now
happily married with kids. This fact should be made known to that fellow
telling him to buzz off.

Agree with you totally

illimitable · #8 18-06-2013, 06:48 AM

Some guys are assholes. They will continue disturbing even though they know the woman is happily married. Best thing to do is to change job and contact number.

Thanks · #9 18-06-2013, 08:16 AM

In my opinion ... This girl might be feeling stressful because she doesn't want anyone to know her past ...especially if she appears to be prim and proper , how can the frens and family accept this ..

Or maybe it's just the girl who is not ready to let people find out her ugly past .....

But true .. The only way is really to tell her family about this .. Then make a police report ..

There is no way she can avoid this

Camel · #10 18-06-2013, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illimitable

Some guys are assholes

Yeah correct

Meow^^ · #11 18-06-2013, 09:09 AM

Apart from making Police report, why don't she take this oppotunity to come clean with her hubby? I think, her hubby should support her...love her what she is and forget about the past while also teach that man a lesson. Btw, I guess men are more forgiving then ladies

Like Chinese saying "Paper won't be able to cover a fire". So what she can pull this off this time. What happen if another case come up again?

Been together is about compromising on each other's past...not just about building the future...

(o)(o) Tuner · #12 18-06-2013, 11:46 AM

For the sake of her family and her happiness, I would suggest she quit her current job and abandone the phone no. she's having now. That would totally cut that guy off.

cncs · #13 18-06-2013, 12:35 PM

Actually changing job n phone number will be better. Come clean with her hubby might not work.

Guys if your GF/Wife were to tell you she was a FL before how will you react??
Come on don't tell me if you really love her you will forgive n forget. It will always leave an image in your mind that she was a FL and she had many many guys before you.

Loner08 · #14 18-06-2013, 01:32 PM

Bro.. tell your lady friend to face that guy bravely. If that guy dun hv any proof.. he can say all he wants as long as your friend deny firmly. Even if he has any proof just claim that he is her ex-bf who is a bastard. Lodge a police report for harassment if needed like what other bros mentioned.

The more she is afraid the more mistakes she will make. Tell her even if she might lose everything.. she must never let an ass-hole control her life.. bcos she can get into deeper shit more than she will expect. This is no joke.. i'm serious!!
.

DemonicSS · #15 18-06-2013, 01:35 PM

Apparently it seems that because she didn't speak out about it, her marriage is making a hostage out of her now.

Personal opinion is that she has to first inform the guy to stop such messages, and its only when the guy continues to harass that she should lodge a report. They are pretty effective.

But I don't really get what the rest of the bros here are saying - relating a police report and telling her family members about her past. Can't the person just head down to the police and file an order of harassment without letting the family members know? I do not see why they should be informed about it. (I've never had such a report before, so I am being ignorant here)

You can tell your friend to be coy about it and deny it if things go south. and NEXT time, if she would be so "sway" to meet another of her x clients, Don't be silly to pick him up. Drop him man, or refer him to your colleague instead. 2nd thing to do is to have a Business mobile line. at least it gives you more room to maneuver. When she vetts the customers, she can THEN provide them with her personal mobile. the 2nd line is merely a screen.

I wish your friend all the best and hopes she gets out of this conundrum