Can Superman survive in Sinkie land?

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:




SINGAPORE — We all know Superman’s practically invincible. The man-alien’s got almost every kind of superpower you could ever ask for, from superhuman strength to x-ray vision (*cough*perv*cough*).

Throw at him what you will — airplanes, a star going supernova, bagels — the man’s survived almost every form of attack and is vulnerable only to Kryptonite. And, some would argue, Lois Lane.

But how can the Man in Spandex claim to be truly unassailable, if he’s always milling around the USA and making trips only to other planets?

Let’s see how he fares in Singapore.

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PSLE MATH PAPER. Yes, he could use his superhuman intelligence to tackle this notoriously difficult paper. But if Clark Kent is anything like the reporters we are, he won’t last ten minutes in the examination room.

CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: Not great. But if he does fail he can always go back to being a, well, reporter.

MORNING MRT SQUEEZE. It’s a bird … it’s a plane … nope! It’s an MRT. If Superman wants to spend time here, he’ll need to learn how to commute to work. And, hurhur, good luck squeezing your more-than-6-foot-tall frame and enormous biceps onto the train at rush hour.

CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: Slim. Ten bucks says he’ll give up and fly to work instead. (Can you give us a ride, Superman?)

SARONG PARTY GIRL. Given Clark’s, er, blundering attempts at seducing Lois, we’re pretty sure he would rather take on six Godzillas than a group of SPGs.

CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: Dismal. Even we wouldn’t know what to do.

DURIAN. Kryptonite is to Superman as durians are to Ang Mohs — or so it would seem. And since Clark Kent is both…

CHANCES OF SURVIVAL: None. Also, Superman with durian breath? Not sexy.

Man Of Steel opens in Singapore on June 13.


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