Shall I bonk to forget a bitter breakup?

[falcon]

My lover has just broke up with me, after 5 years together in a very imtimate and intense relationship. I neglected her these 2 years as I was building my career. Till few weeks ago she said to take a step back and be good friend because of some issues at home that she is very frustrated and hence like to quiet down a while. Respecting her decision I left her be for the next few weeks occasionally checking with her how she is doing. Then 2 weeks goddess ask to break up.

My world shattered. I never knew i love her so much till she broke up with me. I beg her i plead with her. She tear she cried but she never change her mind. I wrote to her like 50 letters since (we used to love emailing each other) but she refuses to read.

I am desperate, i am depresses. I feel so so lonely. Everywhere i go i can feel her sense her. She is always on my mind. I feel like crying sometimes and believe me i never cry. She is like a goddes to me. I absolutely adore her. Now I feel a major part of me has died. I feel empty.

Today again I tried to persuade her but she only said her feeling for me has greatly diminished!!! That hurts me till no end....I feel like I am breaking down.

I used to cheong before I met her. After I met her I stay faithful to her and never once bonk any FL. Now I cannot stop thinking about her, literally from I wake up till I sleep. I can't force myself to give up on her. She is still precious to me.

So do you think I should cross the line and bonk any FL to force myself into giving her up because I betrayed her? I cannot forsee she will ever come back to me...she totally cut me off. But I want to wait for her. However I am afraid I may break down soon, my heart aches everyday.....

Bro please share your view, I am truly lost.

Thank you.
Falcon

[muscleboi]

bro,

short answer to your thread question: NO

long answer: dude, you can't do that. its jus a waste of time and money. it will become the start of an addiction which can cause a downward spiral in your life. Fact is she left. It is a Fact. i know you find it hard to accept that now. dont go for Fl. do something else more meaningful. don't cry over spilled milk. whats over is over..i've been there...i know it hurts but believe that time will heal your wounds and FL will jus add salt to your wound. do something else. if you want something, first give. you lost your love. give love to charity organisations by volunteering. make others happy and you will be happy. all the best bro. living a better life is the best way to get over a break up.

[falcon]

Thanks bro for your answer. I couldnt bring myself to do it too....feels like a betrayal to her. But right now I couldn't find anything else that can help get her out of my mind. I must somehow find strength to move on. I read about others stories, about how after they bonked all that is left are guilt and emptiness. And of course the addiction.

I just dont know how to carry on anymore. Everything I do I think of her. Today had several meetings I chair and mid way I just lost my thinking process and people are staring at me. But I couldnt care as my mind was filled with thoughts of her. I miss her so badly.

Bro how did you manged to pull through? Through volunteer works etc?

We shared so much these years. Did so many crazy things together. How can she just flip and severe everything? Now I couldnt even mention anything about my emotion to her as she threaten to end all communications....I feel a huge hollow inside me. When I was sad previously she always cheer me up no matter where she was or how busy she was. Now....no respond....no concern.....no words.....it is so painful now bro.

But thanks for your advice, I will not make a booking tomorrow. I will.....dont know...do what hahahaha...

[sane]

I actually refrained myself from writing to u because u mentioned that u neglected her for 2 long years and that really meant growing apart for so long.

Everything is too late now and for a woman to be that heartless actually meant that there's already somebody else in her heart. Face the reality n treat as a closure.

There's nothing that time could heal. Other than bonking a WL, there's so many other meaningful things to do and make it part of your lifestyle.

Join more social gatherings, rekindle old friendship, join a gym! I opt for gyming then, cant sleep go for a jog, no place, no friends? Go for a session of gym, work out like a mad dog and tire yourself out to a nite of good sleep.

Set a goal, if u r on the heavy side, aim for a 5-10kgs weight loss or u wan to definite your body, whatever to take your mind off.

Redo your room, change the wardrobe, a new hairstyle whatever it takes to improve on yourself. When my past r/s broke down, I vowed to live a better life than before and not deteriotate.

Days will go past, months will go past. It will be painful but less painful ...

[sane]

[falcon]

Thanks bro sane for your advice. Yes I am at fault, didnt give her all my hours during the 2 years. Nevertheless she stuck with me. I was a fool as I was afraid to tell her I love her because I fear she would want more demand more, more than I can give. But she never demand anything from me, I used to tell her how much I love her for the 1st 2 years, then something happened in my life and I was afraid to tell her anymore.

Only after the break then I realized she is the love of my life and I couldnt find anyone like her again. I began to tell her everyday how much I love her but she just freaked out. I was too late she said, and the word cuts my heart through and through. Now I dont dare to whatsapp her, fb her..I guess you have an idea how that must have felt.

Going for a jog is good advice. Yes bingo, there is no friend I can share this with. So jogging and gym is good. Thanks

Never been so lost in my life and I am not a youngster anymore and I have seen and done a fair bit in society so i am not easily lost. But she really got me good, she really did and still does...

[Tai_zi21]

My little suggestions here Since already break up

Why not build your career now? Make yourself so busy that you got no time to think about all this? Of cos to end a 5 years relationship is not easy! But crying won't help u and definitely it won't bring her back to you! Be strong for yourself and for your loved one

[peanodood1337]

Falcon bro, you mentioned that your ex-gf stayed with you through ups and downs, even without you committing 100% into the relationship. And now she finally wants out.

I believe she has spent a long time coming to this decision. And this is painful to her as well (she was crying when breaking up). It is highly unlikely that she will change her mind at this point.

IMO, now is the time to step up and be a man. Take a few weeks off from contacting her - 50 letters in 2 weeks is quite extreme, and all these love confessions after years of neglect? Obviously she would be "freaked out" as you said.

After the cooling period, send her a simple message "We didn't end things well. Can we talk? Let's settle the loose ends."

If she says no - Respect her decision. And bid her farewell.

If she says yes - Meet up with her and speak candidly. That means speak honestly, straight-forwardly, to the point without being overly emotional. Apologize for the neglect (without going overboard and looking like you are overcompensating). Admit that its your fault for not committing 100%. Tell her that regardless of whether or not you guys continue your friendship, you owe her an apology.

When that is settled, find an opportunity to ask her what went wrong. Is the r/s salvageable? 5 years is not a short time - ask her to remember all the good times you've had, is it worth giving it all up? Its a long shot honestly, but you guys owe each other a chance to set things right.

But if she still says no, then you have to be a gentleman and let her go. Wish her all the best with a smile. That's the best present you can give her in that kind of situation. Not 50 love letters professing your love. Learn from your mistake and move on.

Either way, DO NOT complicate things and go for ONS or commercial sex. If you do, you do not deserve to contact her ever again.

As for moving on in a healthy manner, the other bros have given some good suggestions. Take care and good luck.

[sane]

Originally Posted by falcon

Only after the break then I realized she is the love of my life and I couldnt find anyone like her again. I began to tell her everyday how much I love her but she just freaked out. I was too late she said, and the word cuts my heart through and through. Now I dont dare to whatsapp her, fb her..I guess you have an idea how that must have felt.

Going for a jog is good advice. Yes bingo, there is no friend I can share this with. So jogging and gym is good. Thanks

Never been so lost in my life and I am not a youngster anymore and I have seen and done a fair bit in society so i am not easily lost. But she really got me good, she really did and still does...

When a woman decided to give up, there is nothing that u can do to change her mind, respect her decision. Give her space and don't harass her anymore.
Give yourself 1-2 weeks, she will text u if she miss u.

If not, dont give yourself false hope anymore.

Use this 2 weeks to brace up. If you do not have friends, go make new ones. Share with someone who is willing to listen. Time pass slowly if u cope yourself at home with the negative thoughts.

Don't think about someone else..heal your broken heart first. Brace up first before thinking about the future.

[muscleboi]

when i broke up that fateful day, i didnt know about this forum. bro, lucky you. glad you wrote your issue here so we can all "share" your burden so it becomes lighter. i second sane's suggestion which is to improve on yourself many times better than your current self. i also did something similar when i broke up with my ex.

i tried helping as many people as i can in doing their stuffs (eg. help them with their school work, carry stuffs for them etc) it makes me feel useful..i guess you can say those activities are considered volunteering. we humans are social creatures so we will want to interact with one another. bro, time will heal and i think you're feeling better already!

[maxsee]

I think there is a very high chance tat she met someone .... coz i dun think that one can walk out of a 5 years relationship so easily .... it is best u move on with ur life...

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by falcon

Bro please share your view, I am truly lost.

Thank you.
Falcon

You fucked whores before so I see no problem why you can't return to your dastardly ways. I say go for it.

Don't forget to write a good FR after you've done the deed.

[heroseven2003]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

You fucked whores before so I see no problem why you can't return to your dastardly ways. I say go for it.

Don't forget to write a good FR after you've done the deed.

Better still ......if you can post photos

[sane]

Originally Posted by muscleboi

when i broke up that fateful day, i didnt know about this forum. bro, lucky you. glad you wrote your issue here so we can all "share" your burden so it becomes lighter. i second sane's suggestion which is to improve on yourself many times better than your current self. i also did something similar when i broke up with my ex.

i tried helping as many people as i can in doing their stuffs (eg. help them with their school work, carry stuffs for them etc) it makes me feel useful..i guess you can say those activities are considered volunteering. we humans are social creatures so we will want to interact with one another. bro, time will heal and i think you're feeling better already!

I broke off at 5yrs too, seem like the the breakoff point is 5yrs. My situation is more complex because I was already at the marriage stage with the date set n there was a third party involved.

However time heal, we are still friends now n sometimes being friend is so much more better than lovers.

Anyway I m living well now without need of casual sex/fling/fb etc. U do not others to heal your broken heart.

[ah rat]

Originally Posted by sane

I broke off at 5yrs too, seem like the the breakoff point is 5yrs. My situation is more complex because I was already at the marriage stage with the date set n there was a third party involved.

However time heal, we are still friends now n sometimes being friend is so much more better than lovers.

Anyway I m living well now without need of casual sex/fling/fb etc. U do not others to heal your broken heart.

Sad to hear that,lucky u haven't married to him
Sis,No casual Sex can tahan