GF asks for breakup. What should I do? [Chase her back or turn her to FkBuddy?]

DotaEr · #1 13-05-2012, 03:20 PM

Dear All,

I am a guy and on tues [8 May] my gf asked for a break-up via whatsapp. We have been together for about 5 months. I wanted to meetup with her but initially she didn't want to. Next day, she agreed to meet up with me to talk it out and I met her last night.

She was insistent on breaking up with me. I told her I could try to change and we should work things out together. But she said why should I change myself to suit her.

Some of the reasons she gave for the break-up was that:
1) I am not able to give her the emotional security when she needed it. E.g.: giving her constructive suggestion instead of "dont worry its okay" when she have problems at work as i do not have working experience.

2) We only talk about general issues and there are no real common topics or interests that can create a spark

3) She said that we come from different backgrounds and with different characters so I wont be able to understand her as a result.

4) Our many unhappy conversations

5) Differences in lifestyle. She always come back very late during sat (at least 4am) and she is not very happy that sometimes my parents would scold me because of that. And also her grp of friends like to drink and I cant really drink that much.

6) I have met her friends and she have not met mine.

7) I am unable to pick up her body language and I dont know when she is angry.

Because of these and some other reasons, she said she no longer loves me and the love is no longer there. She tried to get back the love feeling but it never returned.

I never wanted the break-up and I am really sad over it. Earlier 2 months ago she made a photo album containing love notes and pics and she said how much she loved me and she said that she was sorry for being too demanding/not understanding and that she will change.

Why when i have my own flaws.. she cant accept it or give me the chance to change? Why the sudden change in attitude?

Will she return? What should I do now?

DotaEr · #2 13-05-2012, 03:23 PM

Ever since we met up to talk on the 9th May, we did not have anymore contacts. When we break up, we agreed to be friends.

What should I do from here?

1) chase her back?
2) wait and see if she miss me and contact me? And in the meanwhile, dont contact her
3) try to convert her to a fk buddy.

How should i carry out the steps?

alvinskoh · #3 13-05-2012, 03:28 PM

Bro, you should thanks her.

Maybe give her a last fuck........

Why bother about one book when you can have the library.

Never betray yourself and change for a girl you just know. Be urself And enjoy what you doing, another girl will come once you let go of the present one. That is me experience.

There are two possibilities she wants to break.

1. She is threatening you to make you change.
2. There is another guy after that fill her emptiness

Cheer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DotaEr

Dear All,

I am a guy and on tues [8 May] my gf asked for a break-up via whatsapp. We have been together for about 5 months. I wanted to meetup with her but initially she didn't want to. Next day, she agreed to meet up with me to talk it out and I met her last night.

She was insistent on breaking up with me. I told her I could try to change and we should work things out together. But she said why should I change myself to suit her.

Some of the reasons she gave for the break-up was that:
1) I am not able to give her the emotional security when she needed it. E.g.: giving her constructive suggestion instead of "dont worry its okay" when she have problems at work as i do not have working experience.

2) We only talk about general issues and there are no real common topics or interests that can create a spark

3) She said that we come from different backgrounds and with different characters so I wont be able to understand her as a result.

4) Our many unhappy conversations

5) Differences in lifestyle. She always come back very late during sat (at least 4am) and she is not very happy that sometimes my parents would scold me because of that. And also her grp of friends like to drink and I cant really drink that much.

6) I have met her friends and she have not met mine.

7) I am unable to pick up her body language and I dont know when she is angry.

Because of these and some other reasons, she said she no longer loves me and the love is no longer there. She tried to get back the love feeling but it never returned.

I never wanted the break-up and I am really sad over it. Earlier 2 months ago she made a photo album containing love notes and pics and she said how much she loved me and she said that she was sorry for being too demanding/not understanding and that she will change.

Why when i have my own flaws.. she cant accept it or give me the chance to change? Why the sudden change in attitude?

Will she return? What should I do now?

DotaEr · #4 13-05-2012, 03:32 PM

Alvin bro,

1) I told her i can try to change.. but she didn't want to give it another shot.

2) I asked her if it was because of another guy. She said no on whatsapp. When I asked her in person again she said " if thats what you want me to say to make you lose heart, then there is another guy".

So I dont think there is a third party.

basically she says because of the mistakes i made and the many unhappy conversations we had, she lost her love feel for me.

alvinskoh · #5 13-05-2012, 03:37 PM

Bro, you think ur girl friend Soo horny and want to be your fb. If she need you to satisfied her,she will not break up. Wake up!!

Dun contact her for a period, I believe she will call you and check are you better off. Tell her you are having a great time.

If she dun call, drop her a message to said hi. If she dun reply, that the end. But dun be angry with her as long she not married, she is available. Everybody got their choice ,who they want to be.No points to force into relationship if both are not happy in long run.

Cheers

Quote:

Originally Posted by DotaEr

Ever since we met up to talk on the 9th May, we did not have anymore contacts. When we break up, we agreed to be friends.

What should I do from here?

1) chase her back?
2) wait and see if she miss me and contact me? And in the meanwhile, dont contact her
3) try to convert her to a fk buddy.

How should i carry out the steps?

Sirrus · #6 13-05-2012, 03:40 PM

drop her, she doesnt seems like a good gf/wife material. she is very spoiled and selfish

Jax_ · #7 13-05-2012, 03:41 PM

Sad that you have to go thru this but leave her. She's already made her choice that you're not the one. All that she mention are merely excuses. Respect her decision and walk away. Learn from this make yourself a better man for your next gal. Thank her for making you available to another gal that better suits you.

If you continue to pester etc it will only lessen her opinion of you. Sad but it's a lesson in life we all have to go through. Good luck!

popi824 · #8 13-05-2012, 03:46 PM

It hurts alot n for us who had experienced it before will know. in my opinion you seems like a young guy, if you are still studying do concentrate on your studies first. if you cant even feed yourself don't think of being in a relationship.. it wont last long.. there is a real world out there where u need to face.. On the other note... if you have done what u can, maybe u need to let go... it is not easy, but all i can say to encourage u is that its her lost. just keep on improving yrself to be a better man..

alvinskoh · #9 13-05-2012, 03:47 PM

Bro,

I know is painful to be rejected , I go thru this process before. You lucky got this web site to learn and get opinion from experience man. I did the same mistake by changing myself to suit my ex-wife. End up with 2 kids and then end up divorce. She always complain about not caring ,dun sell flower,never call her during lunch blah..........

If you want her, she got to accept who you are; period if not better change girl.

Go to place you like to go library , seasport...... You surprise might meet someone more compatible.

Is better to let go now than later more painful.

If you need to release , you got many choices on this site.

Dun need to ask her if she got bf or third party. Wish her best of luck to find someone to please her. That is real love.

Cheers

Quote:

Originally Posted by DotaEr

Alvin bro,

1) I told her i can try to change.. but she didn't want to give it another shot.

2) I asked her if it was because of another guy. She said no on whatsapp. When I asked her in person again she said " if thats what you want me to say to make you lose heart, then there is another guy".

So I dont think there is a third party.

basically she says because of the mistakes i made and the many unhappy conversations we had, she lost her love feel for me.

Familiar · #10 13-05-2012, 03:51 PM

The most probability is that she fell for another guy . Since you guys doesn't have much mutual understanding , it is natural for her to lose her love towards you . Your love for her may be due to her looks or personality , but however if there's no common interest and clash of topics between both of you , its not gonna work out . My advice is : Live and let go .

.

DotaEr · #11 13-05-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alvinskoh

Bro, you think ur girl friend Soo horny and want to be your fb. If she need you to satisfied her,she will not break up. Wake up!!

Dun contact her for a period, I believe she will call you and check are you better off. Tell her you are having a great time.

If she dun call, drop her a message to said hi. If she dun reply, that the end. But dun be angry with her as long she not married, she is available. Everybody got their choice ,who they want to be.No points to force into relationship if both are not happy in long run.

Cheers

but during our r/s.. there were times when she was horny and she asked for sex.

when is a good time to contact her again? we last spoke on the 9th may. i checked her facebook, her postings seems cheerful and normal. as if she had move on already.

DotaEr · #12 13-05-2012, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Familiar

The most probability is that she fell for another guy . Since you guys doesn't have much mutual understanding , it is natural for her to lose her love towards you . Your love for her may be due to her looks or personality , but however if there's no common interest and clash of topics between both of you , its not gonna work out . My advice is : Live and let go .

.

i asked her if there was another guy.. she said no.. i guess i should give her the benefit of the doubt?

Bodyache · #13 13-05-2012, 03:57 PM

Totally agreed wih Bro AlvinsKoh. If she is that horny.... Your probably already have kena the Green Hat already.

Sometimes in life we need to move on... Be it wife/gf/FB that u are looking for.... Dun force your way... Go with the flow and it will bring you the juice that you crave for

Have a wonderful life my friend!

popi824 · #14 13-05-2012, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DotaEr

but during our r/s.. there were times when she was horny and she asked for sex.

when is a good time to contact her again? we last spoke on the 9th may. i checked her facebook, her postings seems cheerful and normal. as if she had move on already.

I think yours is more of a lust than love... don immense in it for too long... move on...

packardbell · #15 13-05-2012, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DotaEr

Alvin bro,

1) I told her i can try to change.. but she didn't want to give it another shot.

2) I asked her if it was because of another guy. She said no on whatsapp. When I asked her in person again she said " if thats what you want me to say to make you lose heart, then there is another guy".

So I dont think there is a third party.

basically she says because of the mistakes i made and the many unhappy conversations we had, she lost her love feel for me.

Hi DotaEr bro,
I think she is tired of you liao. It is not you yourself at fault. Saying goes; When she does not likes you, she give you a thousand of reasons. If she like you, she only give you one. Hence, do not take her comments so serious. Dump her, make the decision now that you do not need to worry later, rather than to keep a time bomb.