so he got her pregnant, now what?

[lovetorn]

i am relating this for my cousin.

she is 17yo and just today morning did she discovered that she's 2 months pregnant. they are not living in sgp and where they're living is quite a small place. small as in an issue that seems minor and very common in sgp is something very major over there. my uncle and aunt are doing a small business and they didnt know that my cousin was pregnant till this morning when their customers bought things from them and asked them. as to how word got out to others, we are not entirely sure yet.

the guy did say that he will take the responsibility but the problem is he is only 20yo without a stable income. i spoke to my cousin and all she said was 'i dont know'. she is still 17 and my mum suggested getting her over to singapore for an abortion and denying it if anyone claims that she's pregnant but again, 'i dont know'. i wont blame her because if it's me, i also wont know what to do. which is why safe sex is really very important. my aunt called up the guy's father and he hung up on her. i am really not with the idea of asking them to get married because it's very unfair.


guys here, what will you do? get married or ask the girl to get an abortion? hopefully some girls with the same experience can share too. thanks.

[pewpew]

Is the guy from rich family?
Is the guy a flirt or is he serious about the relationship?
Is the guy going to marry her?

Marriage at young age are common for some of my friends among me and they are still happily together even until now.

BUT!!! Approval from both family are seriously required and also they support because simple quarrel can break the relationship and it can end up ugly. (Thats y if anything happened, both family have support)

As for Abortion in Singapore, too bad i can't comment because god bless me, until now have not happened to me...

Good luck

P.S. Sorry i m not a girl...

[lovetorn]

personally, i have not met the guy before. they are together for less than a year. from what i have got from my aunt, the guy does drugs. so what i can refer from this statement is that, i dont think the guy will be serious about her. which is why i am strongly against them getting married. i am very close to this cousin of mine and i dont wish to see her future to get ruined just because of a baby.

her parents have talked about getting her an abortion but the guy will have to pay for half the expenses, etc airtickets/abortion fees. she cant have the abortion at where she's living as they want to keep it low key. what i am primarily concern is that whether the abortion will affect her health.

thanks for your comments.

[DO_I_BJ]

All abortions have risks and it definitely will affect certain aspects of her health.

I seriously recommend ur cousin not to marry that guy if he is a hardcore druggie. and if that guy's dad can be so fucked up. Forget it. I would also recommend she break off with him. really no pt.

[pewpew]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

the guy does drugs

U already have the answer

[cunt_search]

marriage at young age normally unstable
it depend alot on the maturity of the 2 persons
whether they can see things / work things out together

as for abortion, seek doc advice 1st
study her bio condition; diff pple cannot abort maybe nex time no mo chance..

definitely have to either side parent support..

guy character very imp...
army boy - sign on as regular to support....duh
playboy - definitely forget about him
school kid - forget about him
blur f - forget about him
smoke, drink, girls, whores, - forget about him
education background - finance stabilty (unless only son from rich family)
ur, does drug - all above override!! - drug addict can be abusive and potentially finacial strap n may force gal to upkeep him instead...

[lovetorn]

Originally Posted by pewpew

U already have the answer

Originally Posted by cunt_search

marriage at young age normally unstable
it depend alot on the maturity of the 2 persons
whether they can see things / work things out together

as for abortion, seek doc advice 1st
study her bio condition; diff pple cannot abort maybe nex time no mo chance..

definitely have to either side parent support..

guy character very imp...
army boy - sign on as regular to support....duh
playboy - definitely forget about him
school kid - forget about him
blur f - forget about him
smoke, drink, girls, whores, - forget about him
education background - finance stabilty (unless only son from rich family)
ur, does drug - all above override!! - drug addict can be abusive and potentially finacial strap n may force gal to upkeep him instead...

i know that someone who does drugs wont be someone you can depend on. but ultimately, the ones around my cousin cant be the ones to make the decision for her. my relatives are thinking whether the guy spiked her drink. it depends on my cousin. i dont know if she wants an abortion or not. she claims that she loves the guy. ok fine but what's love nowadays? and can she guarantee that the guy will love her back indefinitely too. my cousin showed me his photo before. the guy is a school dropout and he is definitely those kind of ah beng with tattoos (no offence).

the decision made by her parents is that they will take her for an abortion. now all they need is her agreement. because if she doesnt want to, they dont want to force her. if she does agree, will most probably bring her for one within next week.

i find that most guys wont go for the option of getting married. because of financial, commitment, bleak future and so on. while most girls will get married because of the baby, fear of abortion.

[speedspeed]

Practise SAFE sex!!!
unplanned preganancies.. can result in alot of troubles and worries, esp in this recessing period!

[Royster79]

better persuade her not to marry him... most shot gun marriage i've seen doesn't have a good ending, especially when both of them are still too young for commitment...

[lovetorn]

i think case closed.

my cousin decided to go for an abortion, sometime next week. apparently, she still wants to continue her studies. i have told her that a shotgun marriage wont ever be a happy one. because 2 people are getting together because of a baby.

thanks for all the comments/advices.

[silverhawk]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

i think case closed.

my cousin decided to go for an abortion, sometime next week. apparently, she still wants to continue her studies. i have told her that a shotgun marriage wont ever be a happy one. because 2 people are getting together because of a baby.

thanks for all the comments/advices.

guess that's the only way to go and advice her to play it safe next time because she's still young.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by silverhawk

guess that's the only way to go and advice her to play it safe next time because she's still young.

That's why must learn to appreciate, CIM, COF, COB, CIA but never CIP!
That way, wanna shotgun also difficult liao lor

[lovetorn]

she went for the abortion today. she felt terrible. but according to her, she is still in contact with the guy. she is not his first girl but he is her first guy, as in sex. hope that she's once bitten twice shy. now i just hope that the guy doesnt have any STDs.

[Complete]

Safe sex is the best since she is still young.
I've got a friend who got married at 18yo when she found that she was pregnant....one year after the birth, the couple got divorced because of many issues.

Never get together just because of shotgun, chances is that it's never gonna last.

[peanut123]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

she went for the abortion today. she felt terrible. but according to her, she is still in contact with the guy. she is not his first girl but he is her first guy, as in sex. hope that she's once bitten twice shy. now i just hope that the guy doesnt have any STDs.

I would advise her to stop all contacts with that idiotic bf ( or ex-bf ) of hers. If he's irresponsible and stupid enough to get women pregnant and even more stupid enough to do drugs, its best not to have anything to do with him. There are many more deserving men out there. Don't make the same mistake twice.