Sexless Marriage

[LauYewTee]

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

[willroyce]

Originally Posted by Killingbird

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

I feel that you should spicing up your sex life.. like maybe a trip to somehwere.. book a nice hotel, dim lights and champagne but i really respect you for being faithful bro

[willroyce]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

Thats very true bro, I went through the same thing 1 year ago but i got a job overseas so that really helped me to distract me

[Bigbluebird]

I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out

[willroyce]

Originally Posted by al8055

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

Woah that is my biggest fear bro

[I Love Boobs]

Originally Posted by al8055

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

Girls have sexual needs to.
That is what my ex fat wife proudly proclaimed before she applied for divorce.
She was overweight at 165cm / 70+kg.
And was fucking around with her boss, older than her father...

I'm glad I got out of a very toxic relationship.

[HelplessGal]

Originally Posted by Killingbird

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

TS, you have my full sympathy as I understand how you feel when you are taken for granted by your wife.

Since you gave up hope of receiving sex from your wife, it is time for you to look for the right partner who can take care of your needs without breaking up your family. But do appreciate this kind hearted partner and reciprocate kindness and good sexual pleasure to her.

[myluckyguy]

Originally Posted by larue

男人不坏,女人不爱.

very well said

[PandaFluff]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

I am sorry to hear that bro. Depression is no joke and I dont wish that shit on any body. Are you currently still in the relationship? A story always has two sides but the fact that is she playing mental games are fucked up especially with the " you are not understanding part" my wife uses sort of the same tactic. Be strong bro.

[VoicesWithin]

Ah. But did you fulfill her emotional needs? The fact she is watching Korean love dramas is telling

[guyorgirl]

Before counselling, try to understand her issue, is there something that's hindering her from being intimate with you.

Like most bros here said, consider bringing back the thrill of courtship, taking her out, to let her relax and back to the days of youth. Something's lacking and prohibiting her from giving you pleasure.

Maybe something happened that she feels uncomfortable with, like enlarged pussy after birth or other physical matters. Girls are very conscientious about all the physical outlook of themselves, unlike men.

Let her understand your frustration of not getting it - not because you aren't getting any but because you feel that something is wrong and you want to help her share the burden.

I do applaud you for the keeping faithful part, do have a good chat with her first, see what she's lacking from you.

You can be a good father, good husband, but maybe what she lacks now is a good boyfriend and good lover. Find out what her love language is and move towards it. If she likes k-drama, try to catch up on the scene, ask if she'd like to go Korea etc...

My niece totally uninterested in anything also, but if you can strike the right chord with her, she will follow you everywhere even if she didn't want to go out in the first place. She tagged with my cousin who is into k-pop everywhere cos they have something in common. The last time I saw her is at my dad's birthday luncheon... lol else apart, there isn't much communication. Age gap also doesn't help here.

[driedlemon3]

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by Bigbluebird

I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out

bro Bigbluebird...pls enlighten us wat happened after her husband found out her betrayal n illegal sex with another guy outside

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

Welcome to SBF sis ..Empathise with you...know how you are feeling now ...you r not alone..it's a v. typical experience of many wives everywhere in SG n even the world if i m not wrong esp after childbirth ...but didn't you tell or share with yr husband how you felt as what u hv written to us here ???

[PandaFluff]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

Why is it that society has painted men that they think sex is just an emotionless act wanting to organism and that is it. It is nothing further than the truth. I have this in my married life that my wife shows zero day to day affection. I have no idea when last I have even kissed my wife good morning or in the evening when returning home from work. The real question that needs to be answered is why do people change. What happened to cause the change in behaviour are the just bored with the current situation? I agree one party should not only be making an effort. It should be both. That is what a relationship and marriage is about. It does not go about one or the other.