Do you still love your wife?

[parrotkid]

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean woman.

Her lack of wisdom has caused me to look down on her more as each day passes. She doesn't appreciate what I have done for the family and focuses only on what I have not done. I find that my love for her is fading by the day.

It seems that going to church to learn that material comfort is not what matters most in life doesn't help as people around her continue to indulge in material comfort and she is influenced by them.

It is also very wrong to compare what the husband can give with other husbands. I have never compared her with what other women give their husbands. she has never supported me in my work and never helped me to feel less stressed by work.

I guess women can really change after marriage. If I had known she will become so toxic, I would never have married her.

[egresnow]

Not married here but, you need to communicate more with her, in the way that she will communicate back. not using the hard approach but soft approach.

and i believe that its always about expectations. anyway heavy topic, gtg sleep. glhf

[JacqueMerlin]

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean woman.

Her lack of wisdom has caused me to look down on her more as each day passes. She doesn't appreciate what I have done for the family and focuses only on what I have not done. I find that my love for her is fading by the day.

It seems that going to church to learn that material comfort is not what matters most in life doesn't help as people around her continue to indulge in material comfort and she is influenced by them.

It is also very wrong to compare what the husband can give with other husbands. I have never compared her with what other women give their husbands. she has never supported me in my work and never helped me to feel less stressed by work.

I guess women can really change after marriage. If I had known she will become so toxic, I would never have married her.

You are screwed. Get ready for a scary divorce if she finds a 'better' man.

My ex wife did just that. Complained i was not good enough. Then she felt that why must she settle for lesser. Then the affairs came. Again and again until she got into the most prospects probable one and she divorced. Turns out the other guy dumped her as well. And since I'm already out, she lost the both bones In life and in reflection.

[parrotkid]

Basically these women have wrong values. They value the ‘better’ life. Want more. It is not as if I am not giving her a good life. She doesn’t work. She eats at restaurants and I have no debts and I am the one taking care of my kids.

[huayingxiong]

It does not happen to you only. Its typical. Remember the saying, Women are trouble.
This is life:(

[parrotkid]

It does not happen to you only. Its typical. Remember the saying, Women are trouble.
This is life:(

It is sad that women here measure love using material comfort.
I think I make wise decisions for the family since I am the sole breadwinner.
I do not intend to be debt-ridden and burden my kids.
Those who buy condo will know eventually that it is a poor financial decision.
In the meantime, their actions get me into trouble when my wife does such comparisons.

[YELLOW]

cannot be i dont believe u .....
unless we hav the same wife .... fuck .... and no sex somemore ....knn


Basically these women have wrong values. They value the ‘better’ life. Want more. It is not as if I am not giving her a good life. She doesn’t work. She eats at restaurants and I have no debts and I am the one taking care of my kids.

[YELLOW]

sigh .... i feel u bro ...
hav courage to do the right thing....
it is wat it is .... we arse luck . but keep to ur values.... i ll do the same



It is sad that women here measure love using material comfort.
I think I make wise decisions for the family since I am the sole breadwinner.
I do not intend to be debt-ridden and burden my kids.
Those who buy condo will know eventually that it is a poor financial decision.
In the meantime, their actions get me into trouble when my wife does such comparisons.

[maxsee]

My two cents worth on what you wrote here. :D

U dun believe in buying condo becoz u feels tat the value wun go up. To me buying a condo is not neccessary about buying an investment. I got mine coz the size is almost triple that of a five room HDB and the facilities available.

As for car, indeed it is a liability. But when you have excess cash lying around. A car is more about the convenience that it brings to your life.

End of the day, what you want and what your wife wanted in life is very different. If i were u, i would talk to the wife instead of giving excuses about not buying this and tat.

Just tell her you cannot afford it and it is simply not within ur means and capabilities. Lay the cards on the table for her to see.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a better life. U just have to find someone who can match what you can provide....:D

[ilovepantyhose]

ts, you are the means to her end, her end being the desire to keep up with the jones' and the desire to haolian to others

[Shadow_warrior]

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean woman.

Her lack of wisdom has caused me to look down on her more as each day passes. She doesn't appreciate what I have done for the family and focuses only on what I have not done. I find that my love for her is fading by the day.

It seems that going to church to learn that material comfort is not what matters most in life doesn't help as people around her continue to indulge in material comfort and she is influenced by them.

It is also very wrong to compare what the husband can give with other husbands. I have never compared her with what other women give their husbands. she has never supported me in my work and never helped me to feel less stressed by work.

I guess women can really change after marriage. If I had known she will become so toxic, I would never have married her.

I feel you bro. I have lamented on my problems with my marriage and relationships more times than I can count

I would say a lot of women hide who they really are because they are predators and only show their true colors once they are married

Personally I know a woman(now divorced) Venetia Leng who is like that, and the husband married her because he knocked her up, but he couldn't tahan her after that, he just started to eat outside and so did she(he just didn't know). She is a complete different person when you try to date her, but her real colours appear when she stops "liking" you, she turns into a real bitch. She was screwing another ladies husband while crying victim that she was cheated on by her husband. She gave up on her 3 children, only wanting to take 1 because she didn't want to work hard to take care of her children. She is on alimony and all she wants to do is find someone new to leech on. Good luck to which stupid fucker wants to be with her

My brother in law married a real treasure, almost 40 year old version, fuck shit ugly, she went for him because he is simple minded, and he married her. I could see she wasn't going to let him go since he was her first bf. In less than a year, she's pregnant and has his first child. Now he is suffering, she is a real bitch, rude, obnoxious etc...

many women don't know how to be women but than again men have become too soft and they don't behave like the alpha males they are supposed to be, head of the pride. So women now think they should be the head and equal parties to the relationship. Do you notice in nature the relationships are rarely balanced? It's impossible.

so if you are being oppressed by your wife, bro, you need to rein her in, tell her you are in charge, and get back in line.

[Sandra95]

Your wife obviously thinks you have a lot of money in your bank but you're too stingy to spend it.

Perhaps, you don't actually have a plan for your money. Come up with a plan and share it with her, so that she can see how the money will actually benefit your family in the long run.

[ortonrko]

I’m in a new relationship for a couple of months now and a here is summary of how I got to here. Back then I chased her, I did all I could, I gave her all I could. She accepted me in her life, but only to break my heart as she decided to choose her ex out of a sudden. I was truly heartbroken because before this she broke my heart once as well. I asked myself, what did I do wrong? I gave her everything a guy possibly could. Love, feelings, the effort, just to name a few. Thankfully, things got better, and we became a thing.

Months passed, and things started to change. Comparison, indeed comparison is a theft of joy. She compares me a lot with her ex. I mean after all, her ex and I are two different people. Making a comparison makes me feel like I must be an exact copy of him. Quarrels came in on a weekly basis from small little things and she could be angry all-night despite being truly sorry and apologetic. The thing is, it’s only been a few months and all these constant quarrels, they are really making my feelings fade away. What do I do…

Sorry if it's meant for the wrong post...

[cuntjigger]

Aiyoh.. Tis type of woman doesn't deserve most good men like us! If no kid, just dump her.. Dun waste ya time!

[cleyeo]

My two cents worth on what you wrote here. :D

U dun believe in buying condo becoz u feels tat the value wun go up. To me buying a condo is not neccessary about buying an investment. I got mine coz the size is almost triple that of a five room HDB and the facilities available.

As for car, indeed it is a liability. But when you have excess cash lying around. A car is more about the convenience that it brings to your life.

End of the day, what you want and what your wife wanted in life is very different. If i were u, i would talk to the wife instead of giving excuses about not buying this and tat.

Just tell her you cannot afford it and it is simply not within ur means and capabilities. Lay the cards on the table for her to see.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a better life. U just have to find someone who can match what you can provide....:D

Agree !!!!

[Xgenre]

Someone I deeply respect once said when a man and a woman get married, there is no longer He and She. There is only We and future decisions should be based on We.

You decide that buying a condo and a car is a waste of money. You describe her as not smart, lacking in wisdom and is influenced by the material comfort of church-goers. It can be quite hurtful when the person you have committed to spending the rest of your life with thinks you are stupid. If the woman whom you had commited to says you are stupid, how will you feel? Where is the 'We' in your marriage?

I have a good guy friend who got married in his mid-20s. Mid-20s not much money so bought a close to 30 year old HDB near his parents in an outskirt town in Singapore. 10 years on, both are earning a reasonable income and the wife talks about buying condo and a car to ferry the kids to and fro their in-laws on weekdays and for enrichment classes on weekends.

He shares your view too. He wants his now close to 40 year old home to be their forever home. If both live to their mid-80s, this means they have to in their now close to 40 year old HDB for another 50 years. How run down will this HDB flat be by then?

By chance I had a chat with his wife, she mentioned that she does not know why she work so hard for. All her savings cannot be translated into a better living environment for her kids and the MRT is squeezy with frequent breakdowns. It is a seed of dissatisfaction that grows every time she sees someone upgrading their house or when the train breaks down/have a delay.

So I quietly went to speak with this guy friend. I told him his wife is also not those brand conscious lady. Got 1-2 branded bags lah but she does put her family and kids first right? Anything that money can solve, if it is not too much of a financial burden, should be considered. A mum that is always complaining is not so healthy for the kids too. If divorce, woman's charter is unfriendly to guys. We guys tend to lose custody of the kids. You will also end up spending money monthly in terms of alimony and child maintenance what? Might as well use the money to upgrade your lifestyle and keep your family life intact. You want to miss out on the growing up years of your kids meh?

On his own, he went to EC showflat and sgcarmart to find out more. After he has done his maths, he surprised his wife one fine day by bringing her for test drive and showflat. Told her the condo and car is only possible if both contribute. Normally after visiting a beautiful condo showflat, it is easier to come to a financial agreement. At least he feels he is in control of this upgrading process because he has the time to do his background checks without the wife pressuring him.

He end up buying a simple Kia K3 (about $77K) and they upgraded to a EC where both their CPF instalments largely took care of their monthly mortgage instalments. When they sold their HDB, they made some money too which went into reducing the mortgage of their EC. Kids are happier too because they have a swimming pool. You know how much couples spend money to upgrade to a condo because they think their kids need to swim? She still takes the mrt to work but you know what, Downtown Line and Circle Line is more acceptable to her wor...

I know you are stressed. Come to sbf to kpkb a bit to let off steam is ok. Ultimately, you also want a happy marriage life right? Give and take a little lah.

[randyrockhard]

TS, in any decisions you take. always ask yourself is this is good for both of us?

sometimes the question whether we love someone would eventually come down to the question, do you understand the person? or do you have both people's best interest at heart?

it's a fair question to ask to your wife too... do you think she has your best interest at heart by demanding those items?

these things need to be talked about, what goals you two are aiming in life...

[parrotkid]

Someone I deeply respect once said when a man and a woman get married, there is no longer He and She. There is only We and future decisions should be based on We.

You decide that buying a condo and a car is a waste of money. You describe her as not smart, lacking in wisdom and is influenced by the material comfort of church-goers. It can be quite hurtful when the person you have committed to spending the rest of your life with thinks you are stupid. If the woman whom you had commited to says you are stupid, how will you feel? Where is the 'We' in your marriage?

I have a good guy friend who got married in his mid-20s. Mid-20s not much money so bought a close to 30 year old HDB near his parents in an outskirt town in Singapore. 10 years on, both are earning a reasonable income and the wife talks about buying condo and a car to ferry the kids to and fro their in-laws on weekdays and for enrichment classes on weekends.

He shares your view too. He wants his now close to 40 year old home to be their forever home. If both live to their mid-80s, this means they have to in their now close to 40 year old HDB for another 50 years. How run down will this HDB flat be by then?

By chance I had a chat with his wife, she mentioned that she does not know why she work so hard for. All her savings cannot be translated into a better living environment for her kids and the MRT is squeezy with frequent breakdowns. It is a seed of dissatisfaction that grows every time she sees someone upgrading their house or when the train breaks down/have a delay.

So I quietly went to speak with this guy friend. I told him his wife is also not those brand conscious lady. Got 1-2 branded bags lah but she does put her family and kids first right? Anything that money can solve, if it is not too much of a financial burden, should be considered. A mum that is always complaining is not so healthy for the kids too. If divorce, woman's charter is unfriendly to guys. We guys tend to lose custody of the kids. You will also end up spending money monthly in terms of alimony and child maintenance what? Might as well use the money to upgrade your lifestyle and keep your family life intact. You want to miss out on the growing up years of your kids meh?

On his own, he went to EC showflat and sgcarmart to find out more. After he has done his maths, he surprised his wife one fine day by bringing her for test drive and showflat. Told her the condo and car is only possible if both contribute. Normally after visiting a beautiful condo showflat, it is easier to come to a financial agreement. At least he feels he is in control of this upgrading process because he has the time to do his background checks without the wife pressuring him.

He end up buying a simple Kia K3 (about $77K) and they upgraded to a EC where both their CPF instalments largely took care of their monthly mortgage instalments. When they sold their HDB, they made some money too which went into reducing the mortgage of their EC. Kids are happier too because they have a swimming pool. You know how much couples spend money to upgrade to a condo because they think their kids need to swim? She still takes the mrt to work but you know what, Downtown Line and Circle Line is more acceptable to her wor...

I know you are stressed. Come to sbf to kpkb a bit to let off steam is ok. Ultimately, you also want a happy marriage life right? Give and take a little lah.

The problem is I am the only one working and I am very overworked already.

[ps7432]

Bro Parrotkid, i concur with your views. It is very shiong to take care of two Cs if gou are the only one working unless you earn more than 14k a month in todays context. Anyway if you have kids, a car is really more convenient. But there is grab nwadays. Though at peak hours its still a pain. As for your wife, I am sorry to say but women can get dissatisfied no matter what. I provided the wanted Cs to my wife but she is complaining I do bot have time for her nor attentive to her. Then she told me those cs are not important. When it comes to women, they are always right. In the past the housewife will just diam diam because the husband is the breadwinner, nowadays no more. They believe a lot in womens rights especially the educated ones.

[parrotkid]

Bro Parrotkid, i concur with your views. It is very shiong to take care of two Cs if gou are the only one working unless you earn more than 14k a month in todays context. Anyway if you have kids, a car is really more convenient. But there is grab nwadays. Though at peak hours its still a pain. As for your wife, I am sorry to say but women can get dissatisfied no matter what. I provided the wanted Cs to my wife but she is complaining I do bot have time for her nor attentive to her. Then she told me those cs are not important. When it comes to women, they are always right. In the past the housewife will just diam diam because the husband is the breadwinner, nowadays no more. They believe a lot in womens rights especially the educated ones.

I believe women are insatiable. They have one thing already they will ask for the next thing.
She said because my kids study in a school with rich kids, without a car the kids will be looked down upon.
That is nonsense. If those parents in the school buy yachts then I also need to buy?

[cocky1234]

TS, i understand your feeling, when i was 24, and she is same age as me,Ihave my first GF (lucky just a GF) that is materialistic, compare me with other guys, she dont earn alot (sales girl selling beauty products)

But her desire for branded stuff is crazy, like Paris Hilton style kind of things. Within a year into relationship,Already bought her LV bag, branded 👓 and watches.gave her shopping allowance, i spent all my savings within a year with her. I am not earning alot as well,but best part is on my birthday she demanded me to buy her a Dior bag that cost $5.5k. wth sia, on my birthday i need buy her stuff instead.

That was my wake up called that she is not loving me. When i break with her, she the one come crying (with tears) to patch back. That point, I no longer believe in her, her tears n crying is just too fake in my eyes, a damn actor.

Best part, she is not a sporean girl. Instead a malaysian girl with typical sporean character. Fuck me😂

[Xgenre]

She said because my kids study in a school with rich kids, without a car the kids will be looked down upon.
That is nonsense. If those parents in the school buy yachts then I also need to buy?

Did you send your kids to an elite primary school? If you did, what she said may have deeper meaning. I think she is trying to help your kids assimilate into the school culture. Some schools are quite stressful for kids to attend if you belong to a different social class. Where did you go for your Dec school holidays? Oh my daddy brought me skiing in Europe. Where did your daddy bring you? School teachers telling kids they can only bring S$100 for overseas school trips? Some rich kid just bring along a credit card and shop like crazy.

In order to increase your chance of getting into some elite primary schools, you either have to be alumnus or preferably have a 'value adding occupation'. A value adding occupation is when you can run classes like dental surgeon teaching kids how to maintain oral hygiene. In an indirect way, this is like telling the kids the parents of your classmates are all successful individuals. Some schools have many rich tai-tais in parent teacher associations. It can be scary because you do not know how far back their relationships go. You may think these 2 ladies are mums of 2 classmates of your kids but actually these 2 ladies may be classmates from 20 years ago. Their social network is very small. Everybody knows everyone else. So and so's husband is the brother of my primary school classmate etc.

Does what I type make sense to you? Either buy face (buy condo, car etc) or endure for 6 years (till kids go to secondary school) or switch to neighbourhood school. Watch for your kids too. They may be affected by all these talk about wealth. Some rich kids can brag and make other not-as-rich kids feel self conscious.

[parrotkid]

Did you send your kids to an elite primary school? If you did, what she said may have deeper meaning. I think she is trying to help your kids assimilate into the school culture. Some schools are quite stressful for kids to attend if you belong to a different social class. Where did you go for your Dec school holidays? Oh my daddy brought me skiing in Europe. Where did your daddy bring you? School teachers telling kids they can only bring S$100 for overseas school trips? Some rich kid just bring along a credit card and shop like crazy.

In order to increase your chance of getting into some elite primary schools, you either have to be alumnus or preferably have a 'value adding occupation'. A value adding occupation is when you can run classes like dental surgeon teaching kids how to maintain oral hygiene. In an indirect way, this is like telling the kids the parents of your classmates are all successful individuals. Some schools have many rich tai-tais in parent teacher associations. It can be scary because you do not know how far back their relationships go. You may think these 2 ladies are mums of 2 classmates of your kids but actually these 2 ladies may be classmates from 20 years ago. Their social network is very small. Everybody knows everyone else. So and so's husband is the brother of my primary school classmate etc.

Does what I type make sense to you? Either buy face (buy condo, car etc) or endure for 6 years (till kids go to secondary school) or switch to neighbourhood school. Watch for your kids too. They may be affected by all these talk about wealth. Some rich kids can brag and make other not-as-rich kids feel self conscious.

I myself studied in top schools all my life despite coming from a poor family. I have never felt inferior. I have taught my kids the correct values and they are unaffected by what their classmates have.

By the way, my kids go on holidays to expensive places as well. I am also doing well at work so money is not an issue. I was brought up to be thrifty and I do not compare with others hence I see no need to follow the crowd.

[Shadow_warrior]

I believe women are insatiable. They have one thing already they will ask for the next thing.
She said because my kids study in a school with rich kids, without a car the kids will be looked down upon.
That is nonsense. If those parents in the school buy yachts then I also need to buy?

I concur. and support what you have said

[JacqueMerlin]

I myself studied in top schools all my life despite coming from a poor family. I have never felt inferior. I have taught my kids the correct values and they are unaffected by what their classmates have.

By the way, my kids go on holidays to expensive places as well. I am also doing well at work so money is not an issue. I was brought up to be thrifty and I do not compare with others hence I see no need to follow the crowd.

Does your family go to those yabashookoo@#$% give more get more kind of 'church'?

In my opinion, don't pay for things you don't need. Face is only an extravagrant luxury that has superficial worth. Crisis befalls and see it peel off to reveal the rot beneath.

[ilovepantyhose]

TS, i understand your feeling, when i was 24, and she is same age as me,Ihave my first GF (lucky just a GF) that is materialistic, compare me with other guys, she dont earn alot (sales girl selling beauty products)

But her desire for branded stuff is crazy, like Paris Hilton style kind of things. Within a year into relationship,Already bought her LV bag, branded 👓 and watches.gave her shopping allowance, i spent all my savings within a year with her. I am not earning alot as well,but best part is on my birthday she demanded me to buy her a Dior bag that cost $5.5k. wth sia, on my birthday i need buy her stuff instead.

That was my wake up called that she is not loving me. When i break with her, she the one come crying (with tears) to patch back. That point, I no longer believe in her, her tears n crying is just too fake in my eyes, a damn actor.

Best part, she is not a sporean girl. Instead a malaysian girl with typical sporean character. Fuck me😂

wah... she really dig gold dig 9696 :eek:

[MoeLanYong]

TS,
I think you are just venting or sterotyping. There are good women and there are bad ones. Just like men. There are many guys here who cheat on their wives. Some justify the act by blaming their wives. Others do not even bother to invent an excuse to justify their lust. So if you want to vent, you are in the right forum. As you were taught thrift, I was taught to choose my friends wisely.

Every marriage has its own challenges. One chooses either to whine or to overcome them. You want the perfect wife? Go heaven find. She wants the perfect husband? Go heaven find too. For every of your complaint about her, I am sure she has a mirroring complaint about you. When you both can come to a realization that neither is perfect, then perhaps you can exhibit your vaunted "wisdom" to work on a solution.

To me, the solution to your problem is simple. The difficult part is getting you to broaden your mind and be receptive to alternate views.

Here is an example. You are right to view a condo as a debt liability, and not an investment. But do you know that after one has fully repaid the mortgage on his home in his 40s, there are many who go on to purchase a 2nd apartment to collect rent to fund their retirement? Else the CPF sits idle. The 2nd apartment is likely a condo bec one cannot buy 2 hdbs. As a sole breadwinner, you should have figured out that your CPF Life is insufficent for you and your wife's retirement. A 2nd property that collects rent will give you uninterrupted income when you age past 65.

I am not asking you to buy a condo. I am telling you to broaden your mind. There are indeed many ways to view an issue. Once you can accept the abovementioned investment example, then perhaps you are ready to move on to deeper stuffs like resolving your marriage woes.

[Headwindbro]

Bro, suggest have a good communication with her. Tell her your thoughts what you are afraid of in near future that the ending could be a divorce case. There are so much considerstions on divorce, kids, families, property etc....

If you are still young, no kids, willing to give in. And if love no longer can ever exist tgen go seperate ways fast. From your posts alot of ppl may feel your wife is just a typical kiasu, kiasi, afraid to lose face bitch. But from what I see to most women out there most just need a super provider tge day they get married, you just doesnt live up to her expectations thats all. Good luck snd party on, too many chics out there too little time mate

[Botakhead]

TS, i understand your feeling, when i was 24, and she is same age as me,Ihave my first GF (lucky just a GF) that is materialistic, compare me with other guys, she dont earn alot (sales girl selling beauty products)

But her desire for branded stuff is crazy, like Paris Hilton style kind of things. Within a year into relationship,Already bought her LV bag, branded 👓 and watches.gave her shopping allowance, i spent all my savings within a year with her. I am not earning alot as well,but best part is on my birthday she demanded me to buy her a Dior bag that cost $5.5k. wth sia, on my birthday i need buy her stuff instead.

That was my wake up called that she is not loving me. When i break with her, she the one come crying (with tears) to patch back. That point, I no longer believe in her, her tears n crying is just too fake in my eyes, a damn actor.

Best part, she is not a sporean girl. Instead a malaysian girl with typical sporean character. Fuck me😂

Stabbed in the heart, hope that you have already taken her pussy, if not then it's quite a loss for you and a well paid lesson on relationship building.

Hope you have a better life now, cheers.

[Botakhead]

I myself studied in top schools all my life despite coming from a poor family. I have never felt inferior. I have taught my kids the correct values and they are unaffected by what their classmates have.

By the way, my kids go on holidays to expensive places as well. I am also doing well at work so money is not an issue. I was brought up to be thrifty and I do not compare with others hence I see no need to follow the crowd.

You have been well brought up by your parents and your background in being not so rich a family may have helped you in managing your wealth with health. But nowadays, everywhere people liked to compare with one another and worst is to try to be better than the rest, be it money, house, car, holidays, f & b, clothings, jobs & occupations, even clinics and hospitals etc etc. it's never ending until one of the 2 in marriage start to breakdown and give up with the demanding one.

[maxsee]

Came across another thread by TS talking about his wife...

Frankly speaking, this is the very first time in my entire life i heard of a person who studies in some of the top school in Singapore marrying a spouse that spends half her time playing Pokemon Go.

Life is full of surprises i must say :p

[cocky1234]

Stabbed in the heart, hope that you have already taken her pussy, if not then it's quite a loss for you and a well paid lesson on relationship building.

Hope you have a better life now, cheers.

Spend soo much money for a few fuck(her pussy is not virgin anyway).. no thanks, i better fuck geylang cat150. No drama and happy ending.

I consider paying her as studying fees and learn what a good women would be. Is a good life lessons thanks to her😂

[Botakhead]

Came across another thread by TS talking about his wife...

Frankly speaking, this is the very first time in my entire life i heard of a person who studies in some of the top school in Singapore marrying a spouse that spends half her time playing Pokemon Go.

Life is full of surprises i must say :p

Love is blind, until you are able to see it clearly, it will be too late. Damages done and cannot be repaired. Just like a broken china plate or vase, even if you are able to glue it back, there will still be cracks remaining which may not be visible to the naked eye.

[parrotkid]

Came across another thread by TS talking about his wife...

Frankly speaking, this is the very first time in my entire life i heard of a person who studies in some of the top school in Singapore marrying a spouse that spends half her time playing Pokemon Go.

Life is full of surprises i must say :p

When we got married, Pokemon Go doesn’t exist. How am I supposed to know this will happen.

[EtherC]

No need to take such comments seriously, hindsight is 20/20.

What matters most is you & your wife set limits on social behaviors towards the opposite sex. You should probably try to help wean your wife off Pokemon. Shes just using it to fill a void in her life,so help her find her compass.

When we got married, Pokemon Go doesn’t exist. How am I supposed to know this will happen.

[youmee]

I can feel TS. Can say in a similiar situation. Used to complain, now getting used to it.

The real problem is SOCIAL MEDIA/ FB. Always protracting the blissful moments.

Car and condo, even afforadable and payable by CPF, you so sure 10 years down the road, you still have a job? Our payment for housing is ridiculous by any standard. Although it has been reduced to 25 years, but who can forsee what happen 25 years later? Many housing loans in many countries only stretch to 10 years, which is forseeable future for a reasonable time frame.

I have friends who stay in EC,all paid for by CPF. So what? His debt is more than me. He still need to pawn gold in months of needs. Should i envy such a lifestyle?

I have friends go travel japan, spends 10k above, come back, in debts of credit card bills and still need borrow money from me. Should i envy they go japan before and i did not?

And you know what, their social media accounts dont post the bad, only the goods. WTF.

Many are living in a world of dreams in Singapore especially. Its so toxic.

No right and wrong, i tell my wife, she is free to go, if she find someone better than me and can give her a better life. I can only strive daily to be better. But i cannot become better overnight. That is reality.:cool:

[FreebiezWanker]

You are screwed. Get ready for a scary divorce if she finds a 'better' man.

My ex wife did just that. Complained i was not good enough. Then she felt that why must she settle for lesser. Then the affairs came. Again and again until she got into the most prospects probable one and she divorced. Turns out the other guy dumped her as well. And since I'm already out, she lost the both bones In life and in reflection.

Can intro ur wife? :D

[Botakhead]

Can intro ur wife? :D

You want to take over?

[FreebiezWanker]

You want to take over?

He intro, I try la. See how much she can dig from me.

U want join the Q bo? lol

[Botakhead]

He intro, I try la. See how much she can dig from me.

U want join the Q bo? lol

My small head want, but my big head don't allow.

[parrotkid]

I can feel TS. Can say in a similiar situation. Used to complain, now getting used to it.

The real problem is SOCIAL MEDIA/ FB. Always protracting the blissful moments.

Car and condo, even afforadable and payable by CPF, you so sure 10 years down the road, you still have a job? Our payment for housing is ridiculous by any standard. Although it has been reduced to 25 years, but who can forsee what happen 25 years later? Many housing loans in many countries only stretch to 10 years, which is forseeable future for a reasonable time frame.

I have friends who stay in EC,all paid for by CPF. So what? His debt is more than me. He still need to pawn gold in months of needs. Should i envy such a lifestyle?

I have friends go travel japan, spends 10k above, come back, in debts of credit card bills and still need borrow money from me. Should i envy they go japan before and i did not?

And you know what, their social media accounts dont post the bad, only the goods. WTF.

Many are living in a world of dreams in Singapore especially. Its so toxic.

No right and wrong, i tell my wife, she is free to go, if she find someone better than me and can give her a better life. I can only strive daily to be better. But i cannot become better overnight. That is reality.:cool:

Give these people 1 -3 years and they surely run into trouble. It is only a matter of time. However my wife lacks wisdom to see that shit will happen to these people later.

[Botakhead]

Give these people 1 -3 years and they surely run into trouble. It is only a matter of time. However my wife lacks wisdom to see that shit will happen to these people later.

人比人，气死人。 天有多高，风有多大， 海有多深，没得比较的。

到头来只是一个谎言。

[MoeLanYong]

I can feel TS. Can say in a similiar situation. Used to complain, now getting used to it.

The real problem is SOCIAL MEDIA/ FB. Always protracting the blissful moments.

Car and condo, even afforadable and payable by CPF, you so sure 10 years down the road, you still have a job? Our payment for housing is ridiculous by any standard. Although it has been reduced to 25 years, but who can forsee what happen 25 years later? Many housing loans in many countries only stretch to 10 years, which is forseeable future for a reasonable time frame.

I have friends who stay in EC,all paid for by CPF. So what? His debt is more than me. He still need to pawn gold in months of needs. Should i envy such a lifestyle?

I have friends go travel japan, spends 10k above, come back, in debts of credit card bills and still need borrow money from me. Should i envy they go japan before and i did not?

And you know what, their social media accounts dont post the bad, only the goods. WTF.

Many are living in a world of dreams in Singapore especially. Its so toxic.

No right and wrong, i tell my wife, she is free to go, if she find someone better than me and can give her a better life. I can only strive daily to be better. But i cannot become better overnight. That is reality.:cool:

I agree car and holidays are liabilities. But condo is disputable. I know some people who have gone from hdb to condo to landed housing just by paying the monthly installments at each stage. Each time their property appreciates, they take profit and upgrade. Extra money, keep in bank or go holiday. I also know of people who stayed in hdb their whole lives. Both category of people are still working, so there is no added stress or less stress. Just investment decisions. Like you said, no right or wrong answers. Your choice in life.

[PrimeNumber]

Basically these women have wrong values. They value the ‘better’ life. Want more. It is not as if I am not giving her a good life. She doesn’t work. She eats at restaurants and I have no debts and I am the one taking care of my kids.

So she's a stay at home mom, and you are the one taking care of the kids.

How does she spend her 9-5 hours?

[AudT]

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean

I feel for you, I really do. It's lonely when the person you've married holds different values. Buying a condo isn't all bad. If you buy an old condo, it's big and even if you've to renovate lots, best case scenario it may go en bloc and you've a windfall. A car is expensive but the convenience is invaluable. But nevermind that, it's important you let her know the reasons behind your decisions. All the best xo

[curiouscatagain]

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean woman.

Her lack of wisdom has caused me to look down on her more as each day passes. She doesn't appreciate what I have done for the family and focuses only on what I have not done. I find that my love for her is fading by the day.

It seems that going to church to learn that material comfort is not what matters most in life doesn't help as people around her continue to indulge in material comfort and she is influenced by them.

It is also very wrong to compare what the husband can give with other husbands. I have never compared her with what other women give their husbands. she has never supported me in my work and never helped me to feel less stressed by work.

I guess women can really change after marriage. If I had known she will become so toxic, I would never have married her.

I hope TS resolved all his marriage problem by now.
Here is the POV from a married woman:
1. Ask/remind her the reasons why she marries you on the first place. If she fail to answer you this genuinely, TS can be very sure she is a different woman now, no need for TS to change her mind because obviously, she doesn't marry you for who and what you are but seeking a way out to get a comfortable life

2. If she care less about her relationship with you (worse if you guys have kids and she doesn't care her children as well), then there is no point for you to go on with her. Save your youth (age), care your kids/or your life more and walk out

3. A wife who only know how to demand, don't have anything to offer but open her legs and never give any solution or anything in return to her husband is not worthy of marrying. It is a type that Mr. Sam here said Fuck and Forget.

4. Yes women might change after marriage but so do men :)
all people change as they grow older because of life experiences.

[youmee]

I agree car and holidays are liabilities. But condo is disputable. I know some people who have gone from hdb to condo to landed housing just by paying the monthly installments at each stage. Each time their property appreciates, they take profit and upgrade. Extra money, keep in bank or go holiday. I also know of people who stayed in hdb their whole lives. Both category of people are still working, so there is no added stress or less stress. Just investment decisions. Like you said, no right or wrong answers. Your choice in life.

Having Been a property agent, what have been said, is not entirely wrong as well. I would liken it to buying 4D. You buy at the right time, and provided you SELL at a right time, you do make a decent or sometime ernomous profit. But do note, when there is a lucky few, means there is the same number of unlucky few. If you guys still not aware, property in singapore is artificially inflated by Singapore government. I have proof to back my claims.

When i was selling my inlaw house in UBI, it happen to be the government came out with new ruling. They take away the Valuation. In the past, valuer come to value the house and give a figure for the house and we start selling. Now, you buy the house, then they come out with a value.

And guess what, i happen to do 2 valuation, (anyway valuation only last 6 months that time). First valuation, came out to 470000. 2nd valuation, 500000. Please note, this is the period, where HDB has been falling for a 14th consecutive quarter. My valuation suppose to go down, but it went by not by a small margin of 3-5%, but a astounishing 30000k !Why, put it this way, i manage to clinch a deal for my in law from seller at a price of $505000.

Valuer say one remark, if too high, hard for them to value. But they still give a decent $500000 valuation on the unit because buyer agree to purchase the unit at a price of $505000, and hence, buyer only need pay $5000 cash, and the rest can be loan. However, if stick to old valuation, buyer would have to fork out $35000 cash, which is unaffordable to them. (this is the period where high cash is needed for all HDB purchase)

Well, when i know the truth, i just complain in my heart, how dirty our government can be. But then again, my inlaw benefited from the sales, so who am i to complain?

Current housing is not affordable to our children at all. All our inflation, are artificially created by government. They give civil service pay rise of 3-10% yearly. So who are to pay for this yearly increment? Tax payer lor.

thats why GST hikes and etc is coming.

Rental and salary keep increasing in Singapore, who suffer? We as citizen suffer. Sometime, who say stagnant is no good?

I remember when i first bought my HDB for $220000, i am thinking, if i can save a certain amount for a certain period of years, i can fully paid for my HDB. Dream dash. I keep up with my saving, although salary increase at a pathetic rate to keep up with so called inflation, but the price of housing became unaffordable.

By right i could have been able to afford a upgrade after saving so many years and be debt free, but alas! I become more in debt after upgrade. What nonsense. despite saving enough, but after few years of price increase, my saving become peanuts.

Lets put it this way, government policy, is to keep us forever in debts, always come out with policy to allow us to loan, and say it is affordable and come out with stupid statistic to back up their claims, been there, done that. Time to stop being a fool.

Why i buy a car and can only hold for 10 years? Bullshit on claming it will lead to congestion etc. theoritically speaking, they are right, but look at other countries, does they not know this theory? But does they come out with such policy? Answer is No. Why? bascially, whatever thing turns old, will spoilt eventually. And will auto scrape without the government telling us to do so. And dont forget, we also tend to upgrade, which is also a form of renewal.

I hate the idea of every 10 years, or in fact all my life, i will be in debts to pay the loans of a car. I will NEVER be able to OWN a car. As of writing, im car free, need to get out of this sytem.:mad:

Ponzi scheme? Someone may be right. What will happen is already happening.

Default of loans by big corporation. delisting of company from SGX citing low interest. WTF! Truly mother F....... of all times.

They default on loans, because unsustainable business models, even water which is a neccessity, can also lose money. Who can believe this nonsense. And government allow citizen to use CPF to purchase. WTF. Same as the scary UNIT TRUST that government so pro actively ask us to buy using our CPF.

How many of you guys make a loss on that? Government goes silent on this?

It is the same story enticing citizen to depelete our own saving and goes into this ponzi scheme. A recycling effect. Dont you guys see it?

Talk about delisting. We citizen greedy also, buy into all this trusted company, push up the share price, and the insider sell to us at high price enticing us with dividend.After few years, they sell off their own shares, creating a tumbling of the share price. Stop giving dividend, or say delist, then offer 20% above CURRENT valuation of the share price trying to protrayed they are doing us good by offering high. Which is total bullshit. WHY?

Simple ma, what about those holding at high price and making substantial losses? We dont want sell , only paper loss. But now they want delist, we are FORCED to sell at a loss. Where has all the money gone to ? Your guess is as good as mine.

Be smart guys. :cool:

[fmylife]

So if your wife shouts at you when she is unhappy and keeps reminding you that she hates your family and regrets marrying. Oh and hits you when she can thinking it's some fun joke and couldn't care less on what you think or say. What would you call this? Petty angry from the wife?

[MoeLanYong]

Having Been a property agent, what have been said, is not entirely wrong as well. I would liken it to buying 4D. You buy at the right time, and provided you SELL at a right time, you do make a decent or sometime ernomous profit. But do note, when there is a lucky few, means there is the same number of unlucky few....


Hence, my point to TS and you, that when your wives implore you to consider buying a condo, she is not necessarily wrong. No, it is not lottery. One needs to know when to buy and sell, as you opined. 10 years ago in 2008, condos were shunned. Some free-hold condos were advertised for as low as $700k and nobody bought. Today, they are worth $1.7m. It is all about timing and cycles.

My main point is simple. Do not just blame your wives and see things only from your point of view. This is why people struggle in their marriage.

[MoeLanYong]

Of course, feel free to insist on your way if you want your marriage to fail like the many bros here. She is naive, stupid and evil. And you are an angel and always right. Your marriage, your call. :D

[cuntjigger]

Mundane..life is short! If she's still so self-centred,u better quit it as u hve tried your best to resuscitate ya marriage! Cheers.. 👌

[youmee]

Hence, my point to TS and you, that when your wives implore you to consider buying a condo, she is not necessarily wrong. No, it is not lottery. One needs to know when to buy and sell, as you opined. 10 years ago in 2008, condos were shunned. Some free-hold condos were advertised for as low as $700k and nobody bought. Today, they are worth $1.7m. It is all about timing and cycles.

My main point is simple. Do not just blame your wives and see things only from your point of view. This is why people struggle in their marriage.

Bro, we always look back with a tinge of regret when things go the opposite direction to what you have seen.

I believe TS and me have the same opinion back in the days when your so called" cheap" property everybody shunned. Please remember, when it is cheap, our salary also damn cheap. What i can see is the near future of 3-5 years, if i am going to dump all my cpf and cash onto this "cheap condo" , not only i suffer short term, if there is any shift in my job, the end result will be catastropic. Our property loan is 30 years fyi . I know of REAL friends that lament to me every 3 months, interest rates go up again, condo loan go up again by $100-$200. This is the true facts of buying condo. You are surrounded by the unknown. Does our salary increase every 3 months? I don't think so.

Maybe you are cash riched, or you happen to be the lucky few bachelor that ride on this bandwagon. Maybe you like to share your success story with us? I am all ears.

It is definetely not our thinking or thinking we are RIGHT. It is about doing the right thing for the good of everyone. Not just for the sole individual who crave the luxury. Who don't crave luxury if we can afford it?

[MoeLanYong]

There is a difference between agreeing with your wife to buy a condo vs the timing to buy. Read it again slowly.

Instead of blaming your wife for wanting a condo, you can agree with her that a condo is actually an asset, like you are agreeing with me now. The question then becomes WHEN to buy.

In doing so, your wife no longer becomes your enemy. You are both in agreement. You are both working together against another enemy - market conditons, finance etc.

This way, you lessen friction and marital woes with your wife. What has changed materially? Nothing. You still have not spent money. But now, your wife and you are in agreement.

I am telling you and TS to change your mind on how you view things.

[youmee]

There is a difference between agreeing with your wife to buy a condo vs the timing to buy. Read it again slowly.

Instead of blaming your wife for wanting a condo, you can agree with her that a condo is actually an asset, like you are agreeing with me now. The question then becomes WHEN to buy.

In doing so, your wife no longer becomes your enemy. You are both in agreement. You are both working together against another enemy - market conditons, finance etc.

This way, you lessen friction and marital woes with your wife. What has changed materially? Nothing. You still have not spent money. But now, your wife and you are in agreement.

I am telling you and TS to change your mind on how you view things.

Bro, the point is, nobody knows when to buy! lol. Even the rich can buy at the wrong time. Even buying HDB can lose money. If you know when is the next low, pls enlighten 小弟. Can private PM me if you dont want too many people to know.:cool:

[MoeLanYong]

Er....this thread is about Loving your wife. Kinda off topic to talk about property. Lol.

But since you asked. Watching property cycles is not like playing computer games. Die, re-spawn in 60 seconds. There will be opportunities. One must be patient.

There were 3 real opportunities over the last 30 years. The 1986 recession, the 1997 asian financial crisis and 2008 global financial crisis. Property prices were at rock bottom during these periods. Notice the cycles were about 10 years apart.

When it happened in 1986, I thought I had missed the boat. So I moaned like you. Then in 1997, I was not financial ready. So I learned my lesson. Saved up. Then in 2008, I caught the wind.

Nothing goes up forever. Nothing stays down forever too. There are booms and busts cycles in any economy. This is what my Economics professor taught us on the first day of lecture.