when u are unable to give mch to a relationship

[Edyta]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

[milfmilf]

if got enough to give her but she wants more? :rolleyes:

should leave her?

[dyelook]

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because
that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o

[korean]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

yes if not enuf time/love for her. no even i'm broke :)

[korean]

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because
that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o

wise thoughts

[makeyouhappy]

Hmm..

Like any kind of counselor will tell you, you will have to arrive at the answer yourself.

Every relationship is different, and every individual is different.

Here are some simple acid test questions you could ask yourself.. and when the time comes and you are ready, you could share your answers with your partner when you decide what to do.

1. Will I fight for this relationship? Is it worth it?
2. What do I expect of my partner?
3. What do I want from this relationship?
4. What am I feeling now? Can I (we) take action to change this?

Just something off the top of my head.

You could provide more details if you wanted better advice. Being defensive and tightlipped even when you are already anonymous won't take us anywhere ;)

[orangeproud]

I strongly believe when u r truly love a person, even he/she in d final due to some circumstances cannot b with u, u also hope she can find her happiness. Sometimes, its not that u can't give much, its that what u give, is not what she want or not suitable for her.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ewCRYJJmBgI

[Archerguard]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

getting or jumping into a relationship is as good as committing with responsibilities.. getting out of a relationship is too as good as committing with objectives which i termed it..
a closure. :)

before quietly leaving a relationship.. why not talk about it with your partner? hear him/ her out over your concerns first, set apart some reasonable spacing for him/ her to react to it.. be fair to yourself, him/ her.. so both parties are clear to move on without needing to carry forward any emotional baggage? you sure have time to ponder over it and decide what's the best for your next course of actions?

what say you? :)

[Boinkboinkboink]

Sunday blues....:(

wise thoughts

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because
that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o

[korean]

Sunday blues....:(

I understand your feeling bro. Do something to chase away the blue

[redhun]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.

[GingerEm]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

Haiyah. Onus to stay or to leave is on your partner after you verbally vomit out your insecurities. If she thinks you are worthwhile, she will stay. My cousin's wife was his first girlfriend. They were ITE sweethearts. He got diagnosed with Kidney failure at 22. Tried to persuade her to leave, she refused. They married a year later. Went for kidney transplant about 10years ago. Failed. He nearly died. ICU + Transplant costs etc wiped out their savings. Sold their 4 room flat and downgraded to 3 room. Wife had to work full time job while looking after 3 young children. They are still happily married after nearly 15 years now.

[orangeproud]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.

When we r truly in love & care for someone, we wish that we can be their side always, listening to what he say, share his sorrow & happiness, give him moral support all d time. We juz enjoy the process of giving, giving out our love unconditionally, din hope/expect anything in return.

Sis, the man u love is someone who has conscience, he is greatly care for ur welfare & happiness, he is fully clear in his mind u two do not hv any future if u continue to be with him, that why he called for a quit out, dun wan to hinder u from pursuing ur happiness.

He cares abt u, u also care abt him, even can't be together, both concern of each other's well being in their heart. Do respect his decision. Take good care of yourself, he also hope to knw that u r fine.

http://m.666ccc.com/geci/7/73085.htm

[korean]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.

sis, I searched for your posts after seeing this. Probably I can learn from you due to your past experience. My relationships and yours may share some similarities. Have a nice Sunday!

[milfmilf]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.

what is ed ??

[orangeproud]

what is ed ??

Erectile Dysfunction.

[Xyberduke]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

1. If you are a man and you don't have enough money or means to provide for her. DUMP HER!!

"Relationship" is enabled by a couple. If only one gives while the other takes, it has failed from the start. If you don't earn enough, your wife should spend less and within the means of the family. If not, she is simply a gold-digger with bad luck.

2. You are a woman and unable to give birth. In a medically advanced era, there are numerous means to enable birth. IVF as the last resort. And not many people know that TCM is better than western treatment when it comes to fertility. There are several good TCM in Singapore who can help. And the couple should remain strong and stay together. We don't come together simply to make babies.. only some animals does that, really.

3. You have some terminal illness and can no longer give him/her happiness. Couples stick together through thick and thin. period. Couples stay together because of happiness, not because their partners are giving them happiness.



The above three queries are not valid reasons to part ways.

[Triple70]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

To be able to start and maintain a relationship in itself is a big achievement. Appreciate and celebrate what both of you have achieved.

Nobody can predict the future; situations and mindsets constantly evolve. Do not worry about the future, instead just enjoy the moment.

Relationships are a joint effort. Talk to the companion. U may feel that u are not contributing, but the other party may just want you to be there, with zero expectations of the future. That mental presence is really under appreciated.

[Boinkboinkboink]

Mind boggling. Wow, sis, wow! :eek:

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.


Haiyah. Onus to stay or to leave is on your partner after you verbally vomit out your insecurities. If she thinks you are worthwhile, she will stay. My cousin's wife was his first girlfriend. They were ITE sweethearts. He got diagnosed with Kidney failure at 22. Tried to persuade her to leave, she refused. They married a year later. Went for kidney transplant about 10years ago. Failed. He nearly died. ICU + Transplant costs etc wiped out their savings. Sold their 4 room flat and downgraded to 3 room. Wife had to work full time job while looking after 3 young children. They are still happily married after nearly 15 years now.

[ringo6668]

If it is only a relationship and not marriage talk it out...leave it and move on.

[Edyta]

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because
that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o

that is sometimes what we would assume, might not be what the other party wants. however i agree with u, there is a chance they would find happiness

[Edyta]

I strongly believe when u r truly love a person, even he/she in d final due to some circumstances cannot b with u, u also hope she can find her happiness. Sometimes, its not that u can't give much, its that what u give, is not what she want or not suitable for her.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ewCRYJJmBgI

well said. just tht its often this thinking if u are not in his/her life will he/she be better off.

[Edyta]

getting or jumping into a relationship is as good as committing with responsibilities.. getting out of a relationship is too as good as committing with objectives which i termed it..
a closure. :)

before quietly leaving a relationship.. why not talk about it with your partner? hear him/ her out over your concerns first, set apart some reasonable spacing for him/ her to react to it.. be fair to yourself, him/ her.. so both parties are clear to move on without needing to carry forward any emotional baggage? you sure have time to ponder over it and decide what's the best for your next course of actions?

what say you? :)


often the case the partner do not wish to.end it. u would ask if u shd know better? for the longer term good? but i agree with u it has to be discussed

[Edyta]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.
wow sis. pardon me asking this, what is the one special thing u see in him?

[Edyta]

Haiyah. Onus to stay or to leave is on your partner after you verbally vomit out your insecurities. If she thinks you are worthwhile, she will stay. My cousin's wife was his first girlfriend. They were ITE sweethearts. He got diagnosed with Kidney failure at 22. Tried to persuade her to leave, she refused. They married a year later. Went for kidney transplant about 10years ago. Failed. He nearly died. ICU + Transplant costs etc wiped out their savings. Sold their 4 room flat and downgraded to 3 room. Wife had to work full time job while looking after 3 young children. They are still happily married after nearly 15 years now.

thanks for sharing this beautiful story
always give hope when u think all is gone

[urgg]

thanks for sharing this beautiful story
always give hope when u think all is gone

Hello lovely sis, long time never see u post.

How have u been? Hope everything is well for u! :)

[Archerguard]

often the case the partner do not wish to.end it. u would ask if u shd know better? for the longer term good? but i agree with u it has to be discussed

hmm.. often the case, he still holds a significant part of you but just that he is not someone you really need?

u would ask if u shd know better? ~ ~ why not?

we know deep down we could not be there when she needs me and vice versa when i need her.. yet we still talked over it. eventually we have to agree with each other the best option is to remain as friends be it with or without love. (a relationship for just a limited moment but i learned the most out of it) :)

for the longer term good?

how far could you read and foresee? and obviously it is never easy to convince yourself that the longer term will be good.. :)

what is the issue exactly? if it is convenient for you to share over here..

[archer69]

It means it is the end of the road for you, based on my experienced.

[johnl]

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because
that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o

Well Said. Thinking of that too. :(

[redhun]

wow sis. pardon me asking this, what is the one special thing u see in him?

What did I see in him? Hmm.. I think it's timing. He came into my life at a point when I was extremely vulnerable. I am cynical in love, and never believe in love or man. Thus since young, I never put 100% of my hearty into any relationship as a form of self protection.

But with him, I did. I don't want to divulge too much of his info for his sake.
We just connected so well, he made me laugh. He made me feel attractive and beautiful. He cared fr me, the usual stuffs that takes place when two person falls in love. But it's over before I know it.

When something beautiful happens in ur life just treasure it and don't waste time trying to secure the future or dwell in past or play mind games, etc.
Once it passes, u will never find it again

[makeyouhappy]

Aww Redhun I'm so sorry it happened to you :(

You're a great gal! ;)

I have a weakness for strong, hurt women. Cough cough, apologies.

[korean]

What did I see in him? Hmm.. I think it's timing. He came into my life at a point when I was extremely vulnerable. I am cynical in love, and never believe in love or man. Thus since young, I never put 100% of my hearty into any relationship as a form of self protection.

But with him, I did. I don't want to divulge too much of his info for his sake.
We just connected so well, he made me laugh. He made me feel attractive and beautiful. He cared fr me, the usual stuffs that takes place when two person falls in love. But it's over before I know it.

When something beautiful happens in ur life just treasure it and don't waste time trying to secure the future or dwell in past or play mind games, etc.
Once it passes, u will never find it again

cannot agree more.

I used to hint my gf that dont waste time on me due to various reasons, problems not on her side but on my side. But she didn't like me to mention it, and stopped me from hinting her again n again. She did say similar thing as what you mentioned... live in the moment, as long as we happy :)

[viviankoh]

what is ed ??

Erectile dysfunction.

Stick by your man thru ups and downs. Its worth it.

[Shadow_warrior]

I loved someone who told me he can't give me anything, time (married), material ( jobless), sex (due to ed issues) and he left me. It's been months, I still love him. I din mind if he couldn't give me anything, I just wanted to love him. Be there for him. But he din allow that. Everyday I
still think of him and hope all is well with him.

wow sis, that's some deep love. Salute....

I give all to my on off gf and still cant get her to go one week without breaking up and we are in our 40s.

[Edyta]

hmm.. often the case, he still holds a significant part of you but just that he is not someone you really need?

u would ask if u shd know better? ~ ~ why not?

we know deep down we could not be there when she needs me and vice versa when i need her.. yet we still talked over it. eventually we have to agree with each other the best option is to remain as friends be it with or without love. (a relationship for just a limited moment but i learned the most out of it) :)

for the longer term good?

how far could you read and foresee? and obviously it is never easy to convince yourself that the longer term will be good.. :)

what is the issue exactly? if it is convenient for you to share over here..

yes we cannot predict the future. it does make sense to treasure the current. as long as what we are doing don't hurt others.
there is no particular issue. just seen people around me has stories revolving around this theme so i ask here.

[Edyta]

What did I see in him? Hmm.. I think it's timing. He came into my life at a point when I was extremely vulnerable. I am cynical in love, and never believe in love or man. Thus since young, I never put 100% of my hearty into any relationship as a form of self protection.

But with him, I did. I don't want to divulge too much of his info for his sake.
We just connected so well, he made me laugh. He made me feel attractive and beautiful. He cared fr me, the usual stuffs that takes place when two person falls in love. But it's over before I know it.

When something beautiful happens in ur life just treasure it and don't waste time trying to secure the future or dwell in past or play mind games, etc.
Once it passes, u will never find it again

thanks for sharing. u loved him v deeply to change from not believing in love to giving 100%. love is v powerful.

[Edyta]

cannot agree more.

I used to hint my gf that dont waste time on me due to various reasons, problems not on her side but on my side. But she didn't like me to mention it, and stopped me from hinting her again n again. She did say similar thing as what you mentioned... live in the moment, as long as we happy :)

she must love u v much. u are v blessed.
live in the moment? I sometimes wonder if it would b selfish to ask to live in the moment if someone sacrifices to do so.

[Edyta]

1. If you are a man and you don't have enough money or means to provide for her. DUMP HER!!

"Relationship" is enabled by a couple. If only one gives while the other takes, it has failed from the start. If you don't earn enough, your wife should spend less and within the means of the family. If not, she is simply a gold-digger with bad luck.

2. You are a woman and unable to give birth. In a medically advanced era, there are numerous means to enable birth. IVF as the last resort. And not many people know that TCM is better than western treatment when it comes to fertility. There are several good TCM in Singapore who can help. And the couple should remain strong and stay together. We don't come together simply to make babies.. only some animals does that, really.

3. You have some terminal illness and can no longer give him/her happiness. Couples stick together through thick and thin. period. Couples stay together because of happiness, not because their partners are giving them happiness.



The above three queries are not valid reasons to part ways.

thanks, that's a very rational thought process. on pt 3, its not easy being the person to take n watch the person u love sacrifice for u.

[Edyta]

To be able to start and maintain a relationship in itself is a big achievement. Appreciate and celebrate what both of you have achieved.

Nobody can predict the future; situations and mindsets constantly evolve. Do not worry about the future, instead just enjoy the moment.

Relationships are a joint effort. Talk to the companion. U may feel that u are not contributing, but the other party may just want you to be there, with zero expectations of the future. That mental presence is really under appreciated.

u said it. the other person has no expectations. thats sacrificing. how many people can bear that if they truly love the person doing the sacrifices?

[Edyta]

Hello lovely sis, long time never see u post.

How have u been? Hope everything is well for u! :)

hi there i am good thanks. could be better minus the haze. how are u?

[Augustus]

Dear bros n sisters,

In the situation where youare in a rrelationship but unable to give much to your partner, will you choose to leave the relationship quietly?

Some examples:
1. you are a man n don't have enough money or means to provide for her
2. you are a woman but unable to give birth
3. you have some illness and you see no future you can give him or her

Appreciate your views.

Thanks!!

i feel that love should be as simple as it should be. just enjoy the company of each other. if faced with the above three points, there probably will generate a lot of pressure from the surrounding, but just ignore them. you may think you are being a saint for leaving the relationship quietly but imho, that's rubbish...and it sounds like some drama plot. love is a very powerful magnet

[korean]

she must love u v much. u are v blessed.
live in the moment? I sometimes wonder if it would b selfish to ask to live in the moment if someone sacrifices to do so.

As long as both party willing to do so (not forcing one another), it is not selfish.

Blessed as well as tortured as multi party involved in the relationship.

[Sn0wW]

Today is day 12th of no contact. Since we broke up 3 months ago, today is the longest time we have stay no contact. The reason he gave me was he don't know what he wants, he don't know if he can give me happiness, he lost his direction in life, he said he wanted space and time. Told me to leave him alone and if he ever find a solution to our relationship, he will look me up.

He never ask me to wait and in fact he told me to move on. As the days gone by, taking very small steps, I think I'm healing, I no longer feel so painful or missed him dearly. But perhaps what people always say out of sight, out of mind.

I'm sure the wound is still there and fresh, just that maybe nothing triggers the pain. So I felt nothing or rather numb.

[dyelook]

Today is day 12th of no contact. Since we broke up 3 months ago, today is the longest time we have stay no contact. The reason he gave me was he don't know what he wants, he don't know if he can give me happiness, he lost his direction in life, he said he wanted space and time. Told me to leave him alone and if he ever find a solution to our relationship, he will look me up.

He never ask me to wait and in fact he told me to move on. As the days gone by, taking very small steps, I think I'm healing, I no longer feel so painful or missed him dearly. But perhaps what people always say out of sight, out of mind.

I'm sure the wound is still there and fresh, just that maybe nothing triggers the pain. So I felt nothing or rather numb.

hoping to be trigger?:p
just go on with your life... whats yours will always be yours..;)

[squiggle]

I will not even date a girl if I can't perfect/taking care of myself with my basic needs, getting into relationship is just asking trouble for both.

There's a saying, you can accept and forgive others flaws and mistakes. But if you want the other parties to do the same to you might be impossible/will be another story.

[Sn0wW]

hoping to be trigger?:p
just go on with your life... whats yours will always be yours..;)

Don't want to be trigger....

[dyelook]

Don't want to be trigger....

quit looking at his facebook/wechat/instagram or pics loh then...:p

[Sn0wW]

quit looking at his facebook/wechat/instagram or pics loh then...:p

He has none of the above.

[Watsluv]

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that theyd be happier if we let go..:o
Fully agree...