Confusing Actions of Potential FB

[cherrytrix]

Hey guys, been a while since I visited this forum but I got into trouble again recently... Started flirting with a colleague (Asian but based in US - also married like me with young kids) for the past few months and it turned into fast and furious texting/sexting... All that lead up to a biz trip when we finally had sex in his hotel room... We did it a few times in a row and he made me give him bbbj a few times, once until he came also.

Before we met, he kept texting me and saying to get ready for him, etc etc but I think he lied and that it felt like it was his first time cheating cos after that one long session, he got super paranoid when we were in a work setting and when we were finally with our other colleagues. He didn't dare to do it with me again, said our colleague is on the same hotel floor as him. Then he said he needed time to think about whether we can be FBs. But still didn't hesitate to kiss or sext me.

Not sure when's the next time we will see each other on another biz trip but lately he's gotten possessive, always texting me the minute I'm awake or when he's awake (cos of US/SG time difference), asking me what I did, who I'm with, etc. He also got huffy when I said I was out with a male friend one night (ex-FB but nothing happened), he told me I was doing the wrong thing, etc. Why too scared to be my FB but still acting like I'm accountable to him?

I'm confused guys... What do you think? Should I just give up on this guy? :mad: Appreciate your thoughts... On one hand, I'm very attracted to him and sometimes enjoy mundane texting (it was almost like emotional affair I guess) but realistically not sure how we can be FBs when we don't even know when we can meet in person next. But his actions really confuse me.

[Johnbass]

Ask your hubby to learn fast and furious sexting?
#IAlsoWantToLearn
:D

[cherrytrix]

Ask your hubby to learn fast and furious sexting?
#IAlsoWantToLearn
:D

Haha I wish...

[Johnbass]

Haha I wish...

Your hubby is those unromantic type ah? Haiz...

I think your colleague...
1. Scared to lose his job
2. Scared his wife will find out
3. Scared you will piak other men... Not your hubby

#IWantToSextingWithYou

:D

[porscheclub]

Sounds like a loser if you ask me. I say dump him for a better fuck or at least someone who knows how to keep the game clean.

A FB whether male/female must not intrude into private life that'll harm your marriage. If not, why are they called FB?

[siri]

if he's always not around, then dont be bothered by him. Unless he show some actions he wants you around as a FB, then it's just talk only.

Even if you are attracted to him, it might be just because it's fresh and exciting. You will feel sian when you know you want and miss him but he's just always not available for you.

afterall, you are married TS. Dont be too into it. Why so serious?

[mms6969]

TS, imho give up on this colleague. With the physical separation and time diff, and since you both work in the same firm, nothing good can come out of such a relationship. Nothing for u to gain, and everything to lose.

And I do echo what the other bro said. If you treasure your kids and family, why not spend your fb time improving your husband-wife relationship ? If you don't, then its time to think about a separation and let each party start life anew.

[ShittyAss]

Sounds like a loser if you ask me. I say dump him for a better fuck or at least someone who knows how to keep the game clean.

A FB whether male/female must not intrude into private life that'll harm your marriage. If not, why are they called FB?

I agreed.. N that's rule number 1 for a FB. It's Fxxk n Back Off.

[cherrytrix]

I agreed.. N that's rule number 1 for a FB. It's Fxxk n Back Off.

Thanks guys, I talked to my best friend about this and she also agreed that the guy seems too emotionally involved but not willing to provide the sex (I guess not that he can since he's in the US), which makes him a bad candidate for a FB. I went out for a midnight movie and he was texting me asking me what I was doing. I wish he would just f*** me already, but he had to hold back after our first time. Now this is leading nowhere...

If anything, don't want to lose a good colleague and friend (but should have thought of that before I started flirting with him!).

[cherrytrix]

Sounds like a loser if you ask me. I say dump him for a better fuck or at least someone who knows how to keep the game clean.

A FB whether male/female must not intrude into private life that'll harm your marriage. If not, why are they called FB?

Haha so true... So far I've had about 3-4 FBs but all can't seem to keep the game clean. Get jealous when I go overseas with hubby, etc. Really don't know why it's so hard.

[spawnic]

Well part of the game is to keep it interesting. If he is emotional...cool off and try again another time. I'm sure you have no shortage of supply if you turn on your charms :) Happy Humping Babe!

[loneyheart]

He is kind of no interest in u for SEX but getting jealous when u r w someone even just friend .... he is not a good player for FB .... Sis move on b4 u get more headache

[sammyboyfor]

By definition, "FB" means no strings attached.

If he's behaving as if you're accountable to him then you're no longer a FB.

[demonhunter]

Haha so true... So far I've had about 3-4 FBs but all can't seem to keep the game clean. Get jealous when I go overseas with hubby, etc. Really don't know why it's so hard.

I can keep the game really clean .... I don't give a fuck where and who you are overseas with .

when your need arises , I will be there !!!

call ....I mean PM

:D

[cherrytrix]

Thanks for the input guys. Until now he's still texting me all these kisses. I think the definition of FB is definitely mixed for different people...

[a2014]

Until now he's still texting me all these kisses. I think the definition of FB is definitely mixed for different people...
Well he is the kind that just want to own something that he think he likes just like he saw a flower vase and he like it and brought it home and keep it. Nobody shall touch it if not he will get into big fuss.

He don't actually love as he only think for himself. Most man are like that, sorry to say that as they only think of that part of yours that shall not be share without knowing he is sharing his with others as well. That is why eventually most you met will become jealous when you go with your husband.

If both party decide to declare each other as FB then keep it as FB and enjoy the relationship as an FB.

This is only my personal opinion. Cheers.

[maxsee]

Don't understand how a person would seek a FB after they are married...don't they think for their own spouse at all???...the emotional damage if this is ever found out.....

[Xyberduke]

Thanks for the input guys. Until now he's still texting me all these kisses. I think the definition of FB is definitely mixed for different people...

Definition of FB is simple.
Sex with no strings or love attached.

Used to have a FB. Our relationship is like this.

Her husband is always out drinking with friends, and stopped having sex with her.

I was a lousy cheating/womanising husband to my ex-wife then.

Whenever either of us quarrelled with our spouse or feeling down and have the urge for sex to relieve the pressure or simply want sex, we text each other "the group is having dinner tonight, do you want to join?" If the other is available, we will reply "count me in".

Whoever arrives at hotel (we only have one hotel) first get the room and text the other the room number, just numbers...

The first one in the room wait for the other to arrive, once the latter arrives, wild hugs/kisses and sex like we loved each other forever. Not a single word said until the end of the session. After one session, we may pop the question of "one more time?" and go on.

If there is oral sex, it will normally be 69. Otherwise, it's usually natural, never on request. She would go down on me for bbbj, I will go down on her for painting without request.

After all these sex, we will kiss each other goodbye and say thanks, sometimes have supper together but behave like ordinary friends once out of the room. Both drives and even if one is not driving, we will not send the other home.

There are occasions when we were feeling down and poured our sorrows to the other. We comforted each other like we were brothers and sisters in the room, naked though... and may even end with another session of sex.

However, that's it. Once out of the room, we are just friends. We never text each anything out of the ordinary that normal friends would.

She had since migrated, and until today, we are still friends on facebook (didn't use "FB" just in case it confused). We didn't have any feelings for the other and simply took each other as a means to fulfil an intercourse.

Just for the record, I was never good in bed so she didn't have anything to gain by making me her FB.

[cherrytrix]

Don't understand how a person would seek a FB after they are married...don't they think for their own spouse at all???...the emotional damage if this is ever found out.....

I didn't know only unmarried folks could have FBs... FTR, I do love my hubby very much but his sex drive is not as high as mine. Ironically he used to be my FB too but wanted to take our relationship to the next level. He's the best husband and dad, just wish we had 10x more sex in general.

[cherrytrix]

Definition of FB is simple.
Sex with no strings or love attached.

Used to have a FB. Our relationship is like this.

Her husband is always out drinking with friends, and stopped having sex with her.

I was a lousy cheating/womanising husband to my ex-wife then.

Whenever either of us quarrelled with our spouse or feeling down and have the urge for sex to relieve the pressure or simply want sex, we text each other "the group is having dinner tonight, do you want to join?" If the other is available, we will reply "count me in".

Whoever arrives at hotel (we only have one hotel) first get the room and text the other the room number, just numbers...

The first one in the room wait for the other to arrive, once the latter arrives, wild hugs/kisses and sex like we loved each other forever. Not a single word said until the end of the session. After one session, we may pop the question of "one more time?" and go on.

If there is oral sex, it will normally be 69. Otherwise, it's usually natural, never on request. She would go down on me for bbbj, I will go down on her for painting without request.

After all these sex, we will kiss each other goodbye and say thanks, sometimes have supper together but behave like ordinary friends once out of the room. Both drives and even if one is not driving, we will not send the other home.

There are occasions when we were feeling down and poured our sorrows to the other. We comforted each other like we were brothers and sisters in the room, naked though... and may even end with another session of sex.

However, that's it. Once out of the room, we are just friends. We never text each anything out of the ordinary that normal friends would.

She had since migrated, and until today, we are still friends on facebook (didn't use "FB" just in case it confused). We didn't have any feelings for the other and simply took each other as a means to fulfil an intercourse.

Just for the record, I was never good in bed so she didn't have anything to gain by making me her FB.

Sounded like the perfect arrangement! Would you say that you cared about her though?

[Plaedes]

hi cherry,

u cld pm me ur #i am not bad at sextext :D im kidding.

the common saying is, don't poop where u eat,

y don't u go for someone who is not in your same company, presumably an MNC. words get around fast. someone who is single. like me. :D kidding again.

if you r having issues with your hubby, are you able to talk it out with him?

if he found out u been cheating on him, how wld he feel, and wld ur marriage be over?

[Johnbass]

U shld intro your hubby to sbf...
We can help him...
:D

[a2014]

I do love my hubby very much but his sex drive is not as high as mine. Ironically he used to be my FB too but wanted to take our relationship to the next level. He's the best husband and dad, just wish we had 10x more sex in general.
Many time good husband may not necessary has good sex. Likewise good wife may not also provide good sex to her husband. It will be good if you have both.

As for the other man, I guess he is good at his words and very persistent, however he wanted it to be a one sided affair. He would prefer you to go after him then he go after you since he knew both are already married. You can only look forward for it.

You seems to have being trapped while hunting.

Take care don't loose your husband and kids since your proclaim he is a good husband. You should know when to stop or stay put.

[ColdBlood99]

Ts,

There is tons of samster over here u can seek help if u need

But if John pm u to help, please ignore him just fyi , his married :p

[cherrytrix]

As for the other man, I guess he is good at his words and very persistent, however he wanted it to be a one sided affair. He would prefer you to go after him then he go after you since he knew both are already married. You can only look forward for it.

I think you're right bro, he seems to like the attention a lot and gets sulky when I don't give it to him. Kept checking up on me the past few nights when I was out. Tiring! I guess it's time to find a new target.

[acidicavex]

Ts,

There is tons of samster over here u can seek help if u need

But if John pm u to help, please ignore him just fyi , his married :p

Lol why burst his bubble?

I think you're right bro, he seems to like the attention a lot and gets sulky when I don't give it to him. Kept checking up on me the past few nights when I was out. Tiring! I guess it's time to find a new target.

With this post come great respond. Good luck hand picking out many varieties in SBF

[Johnbass]

?...I guess it's time to find a new target.

Wah... Mai Tu liao!
:D

[Johnbass]

Ts,

There is tons of samster over here u can seek help if u need

But if John pm u to help, please ignore him just fyi , his married :p

U sibei good fren hor...
I'm sure Snowleopards doesn't mind...
:D

[Xyberduke]

Sounded like the perfect arrangement! Would you say that you cared about her though?

I cared about her as a friend, the same that I would accord to any other friends... If any friend asked me out for a drink or dinner or just to have a phone conversation because they were feeling down, guys or gals, I will definitely go if I'm free..


Also, there are occasions where I'm not free when receiving the text and vice versa. There were no hard feelings in those situations.


I wouldn't have started with her as FB or would have ended straight away if there were anything more than friendship... and also if either of us felt that the other were great in bed, better than our spouse, that also spells the end. Sex with spouse is entirely different, and never a question of whether one is good in bed. Sex with FB is something that I can barely describe. And the fact that she didn't mind that I wasn't good in bed at all, and also we spent most of the time in the hotel talking and solving each other's problems since I couldn't last long. Having a heart to heart talk with FB is much easier than with anyone else, even your BFF. I loved having a FB because it's easier to solve problems when sharing it with the opposite sex, and 99% of the time, if you share it with an opposite sex who is not your FB, it's likely that the other party harbours other intentions. I am a non believer of platonic love and even did a litmus test to my BFF since secondary school asking her if she would like to have sex after a long conversation and the answer was yes.

Today, if I ever start having FB again, the same rules applies. It's purely to have an enjoyable intercourse, and with all the 'love' during the session. Nothing beyond that and once out of the room, we are friends.



So, depending on what you want out of your FB. For me, it's for sex and also to have a second opinion to any issues I have with my wife. That's it. And all conversations stay in the room.


If you started with your FB because you are attracted to him, or have some form of feelings for him, it's the start of the end of your marriage. Totally not worth it.


Hope you have solved your problems. If not, simply text him "It's the end. I'm moving on and never looking back." and stop replying any of his messages and don't pick up his calls and even block him on your messengers.

[mms6969]

Tiring! I guess it's time to find a new target.

Sis, please be careful in what you wish for, and be v discreet in how you find your new target. Who knows, your hubby may be a samster and reading your thread. :eek:

[localguylor]

Well dear,

He is definitely not e fb is r looking. Not all fb understand the rule of the fb game.
I can introduce to u such guy over a cup of coffee..lol.

Cheer

[cherrytrix]

Guys, thanks again for all the feedback, I truly appreciate it. :) It's been a tough and confusing few days for me. He texts me happy new year and hugs and kisses, then ignores me for a day and claims he lost his phone. Ah getting sick of it. This is not how "friends" treat each other even. Also he got all righteous on me for drinking on NYE (kept saying, I thought you don't drink?) and I really am not a regular drinker, just happened to be a special occasion. Finally, he got super negative on me when I mentioned that an xFB will be in the same city as me during an upcoming work trip of mine. So fed up!

[a2014]

Guys, thanks again for all the feedback, I truly appreciate it. :) It's been a tough and confusing few days for me. He texts me happy new year and hugs and kisses, then ignores me for a day and claims he lost his phone. Ah getting sick of it. This is not how "friends" treat each other even. Also he got all righteous on me for drinking on NYE (kept saying, I thought you don't drink?) and I really am not a regular drinker, just happened to be a special occasion. Finally, he got super negative on me when I mentioned that an xFB will be in the same city as me during an upcoming work trip of mine. So fed up!
Looks like you can't let go of the feeling for this guy, therefore there is nothing anyone here can advise. I am not saying you leave him, but just simply downgrade him to general friends and if he doesn't like it he can go.

The reason is that this guy uses like as love meaning if you like something you want to own it and keep it on the shelf and visit it every now and then and if it disappear from the shelf or someone touches it he will make a big fuss out of it. He don't love it as to keep it next to his heart. I have said this earlier.

The reason that you don't feel good is that you get too deep into feeling and no longer as FB anymore you should know where you are heading for right now. He is angry because he came to know someone touches you after him not because he love. He just want to own you. As for you, you subconsciously get yourself into feeling for him which is part of and element of love, that is why whenever he is down, you will be down as well.

Take Care and make wise decision.

[Stud00]

FUCK- BUDDY= FUCK & GO/ TOUCH & GO...

Crude as it sounds, but thats all to it, if he's not up to it.. don't even start playing.

TS, am sure u can find LOTSA potentials in here. :D

[cherrytrix]

Looks like you can't let go of the feeling for this guy, therefore there is nothing anyone here can advise. I am not saying you leave him, but just simply downgrade him to general friends and if he doesn't like it he can go.

The reason is that this guy uses like as love meaning if you like something you want to own it and keep it on the shelf and visit it every now and then and if it disappear from the shelf or someone touches it he will make a big fuss out of it. He don't love it as to keep it next to his heart. I have said this earlier.

The reason that you don't feel good is that you get too deep into feeling and no longer as FB anymore you should know where you are heading for right now. He is angry because he came to know someone touches you after him not because he love. He just want to own you. As for you, you subconsciously get yourself into feeling for him which is part of and element of love, that is why whenever he is down, you will be down as well.

Take Care and make wise decision.

Thanks bro, I really needed to read this. Great advice :)

[esssinine]

Maybe u should reread the definition of a FB :confused: