divorced women/widow will be alone

[Edyta]

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

[topcook1]

Not only gals...guys also affected as well...Whenever I tell local girls I am a divorcee mostly don't wanna go far with me. Left only foreign woman who dont mind. Local woman knows that dealing with divorcee is tough because of emotional baggage, alimony from previous marriage. Moreover a divorce guy would prefer not to have a grand wedding again....

[Edyta]

Not only gals...guys also affected as well...Whenever I tell local girls I am a divorcee mostly don't wanna go far with me. Left only foreign woman who dont mind. Local woman knows that dealing with divorcee is tough because of emotional baggage, alimony from previous marriage. Moreover a divorce guy would prefer not to have a grand wedding again....
Yup agree. Even if they do want the relationship with u eventually friends n relatives will try to persuade them not to. Well baggage is just a liability. Who wants a liability?

[acidicavex]

Dont give up bros aCtually i seen quite a few of successful cpl whom definitely look happier and more blissful in their current marriage.

But of coz they do not carry any baggage from their ex~marriage.......

[topcook1]

Gave up liaoz....Let nature takes it course.

[july3rd]

Gave up liaoz....Let nature takes it course.

TS she shd be a divorcee ma and you also then maybe can try out?

Whatever it is... Is meant to be it will be.. If not die of single also nvm la.. Better then being con?

[justl00king]

I feel that if u truly love someone, should embrace everything about her.
Even if she's divorced n the kids may take some time to warm up to the new relationship, if one genuinely loves the kids n take good care of them too, they'll soon feel it n offer their love in return.

Yes, there'll definitely be external pressures from friends, relatives, family etc.
But ultimately, it's two persons being in love n wanting to spend the rest of their lives together.

So for those that r in such a situation, dun give up hope!
There's always someone out there who'll love u just the way u r!
Good luck! :)

[july3rd]

I feel that if u truly love someone, should embrace everything about her. Even if she's divorced n the kids may take some time to warm up to the new relationship, if one genuinely loves the kids n take good care of them too, they'll soon feel it n offer their love in return. Yes, there'll definitely be external pressures from friends, relatives, family etc. But ultimately, it's two persons being in love n wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. So for those that r in such a situation, dun give up hope! There's always someone out there who'll love u just the way u r! Good luck! :)

Yaya actually I kinda agreed with you lol

If the guy got kids then I don't need give birth also good! Labor pain is bad! :p plus I'm too old to hv my kids too (:

[milfmilf]

if you are a younger guy may be is more difficult to accept a divorced woman. But older man may think otherwise. Most importantly that woman has no debt and preferably has a decent job and no longer has any link with the ex-husband and extended family... best is ex-husband already demised.... neater .... and if got kids .... that's the headache part ..

[acidicavex]

Having kids is indeed a headache. But if the kids are old enough and not those spolit brats. They would understand looking at their mum n dad.

I know a at colleague when i knew her she was 50+ brace thru all the to with the man she love or like or whatever.

Understand her marriage was loveless both holding back for the kids. Till she met the man older than her and know how to cherish her i guess.

I think is our culture when one fail in marriage he or she is deem condemn, failure etc.

[Edyta]

I feel that if u truly love someone, should embrace everything about her.
Even if she's divorced n the kids may take some time to warm up to the new relationship, if one genuinely loves the kids n take good care of them too, they'll soon feel it n offer their love in return.

Yes, there'll definitely be external pressures from friends, relatives, family etc.
But ultimately, it's two persons being in love n wanting to spend the rest of their lives together.

So for those that r in such a situation, dun give up hope!
There's always someone out there who'll love u just the way u r!
Good luck! :)

What you just described is really lovely but its rare.

[Edyta]

I think is our culture when one fail in marriage he or she is deem condemn, failure etc.

U said what my heart felt

[Edyta]

and if got kids .... that's the headache part ..

Yup! U nailed the real issue.
The woman can be very attractive, nice personality and financially capable but with her divorced status and kids she is doom. She will still get plenty of attention with men wanting just sex from her. If she does not give then these men will run like no tomorrow.
The best way to survive is probably keep a low profile n focus on the kids. Find interest/hobbies, charities to volunteer n friends that will see her till the end of life.

[Edyta]

. If not die of single also nvm la.. Better then being con?

Its actually ok people lost their spouse to death some point in their lives too
Just tht divorced ppl embark on tht lonely journey much earlier where they are still in prime

[topcook1]

Yup! U nailed the real issue.
The woman can be very attractive, nice personality and financially capable but with her divorced status and kids she is doom. She will still get plenty of attention with men wanting just sex from her. If she does not give then these men will run like no tomorrow.
The best way to survive is probably keep a low profile n focus on the kids. Find interest/hobbies, charities to volunteer n friends that will see her till the end of life.

True most man will go for sex. On the other hand all woman would like commitments even she is a divorcee . Woman dont mind divorce many many times because she has nothing to lose . Many of my friends told me best is to stay single after divorce because you had gain freedom i.e a bird flies out of the cage and dont wanna get stuck again...

[Edyta]

True most man will go for sex. On the other hand all woman would like commitments even she is a divorcee . Woman dont mind divorce many many times because she has nothing to lose . Many of my friends told me best is to stay single after divorce because you had gain freedom i.e a bird flies out of the cage and dont wanna get stuck again...

Divorce many many times? Nooooooooo
Tht proposition is too scary! Each divorce gives u enough scars for a life time.
A divorce where the woman rec no alimony with 2 kids. No way she wana contemplate marriage
Random sex encounters are not great for women in general. We still crave a 1:1 relationship, companionship n love.

[topcook1]

Divorce many many times? Nooooooooo
Tht proposition is too scary! Each divorce gives u enough scars for a life time.
A divorce where the woman rec no alimony with 2 kids. No way she wana contemplate marriage
Random sex encounters are not great for women in general. We still crave a 1:1 relationship, companionship n love.



Haha..Look at Elizabeth Taylor....guess she marry 7 to 8 times...lol My ex wife remarry again too....

[Rocode]

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

See Me? Single Daddy.. I Close My heart Liao.. Focus On My Princess..

Of Course i Go For Sex Sometimes.. Im A Guy Mah.. (Primal Urges)

Cheers

[topcook1]

See Me? Single Daddy.. I Close My heart Liao.. Focus On My Princess..

Of Course i Go For Sex Sometimes.. Im A Guy Mah.. (Primal Urges)

Cheers

I have 2 princess...but with my ex wife who has migrated...now happily single again...

[Rocode]

I have 2 princess...but with my ex wife who has migrated...now happily single again...

Come Add Me.. We Start Dingle Daddy's Club Here

[topcook1]

Come Add Me.. We Start Dingle Daddy's Club Here

Sure...however my 2 princess also migrated together with my ex wife....Now left me alone here...

[demonhunter]

Sure...however my 2 princess also migrated together with my ex wife....Now left me alone here...

At least you found something .... FREEDOM !

:D

[Edyta]

See Me? Single Daddy.. I Close My heart Liao.. Focus On My Princess..

Of Course i Go For Sex Sometimes.. Im A Guy Mah.. (Primal Urges)

Cheers

Yes i see u
Surprise to find other "heart closed" folks here
Daddy for life - keep up with your princess she will hv u in her heart whole life. This is how i felt for my own dad.

[Johnbass]

Sure...however my 2 princess also migrated together with my ex wife....Now left me alone here...

Aiyo... Sounds sad.
Time to find yourself a partner then.
You go start thread... Sure many many bumps... But dunno got chiobus a not?
:D

[Edyta]

Come Add Me.. We Start Dingle Daddy's Club Here

Add me single mum with 2 prince

[Edyta]

Sure...however my 2 princess also migrated together with my ex wife....Now left me alone here...

Do u still call your 2 princess n visit them?

[Rocode]

Add me single mum with 2 prince

Added Sis...... :D

[topcook1]

Do u still call your 2 princess n visit them?


Yup occasionally I do...keep in contact with them...I will send them money and gifts too. They are still my kids. Is difficult to let go but I have to be happy...Nothing in this world belongs to us .

[Rocode]

Yup occasionally I do...keep in contact with them...I will send them money and gifts too. They are still my kids. Is difficult to let go but I have to be happy...Nothing in this world belongs to us .

I Have A Thought For You...

Why Don't You Plan A Visit? A Planned Visit?

I'm Sure They Would Be Delighted To See Their Daddy?:D

[topcook1]

I Have A Thought For You...

Why Don't You Plan A Visit? A Planned Visit?

I'm Sure They Would Be Delighted To See Their Daddy?:D

I had visited them few months ago..they are coming back for holidays soon on January....

[Rocode]

I had visited them few months ago..they are coming back for holidays soon on January....

Thats Good To Hear!

[acidicavex]

All in all what u want most after the whoke ordeal?

I know some married and it much better than the past one. Cause they basically know what they want 2nd time round. Those who choose to remain single well u will be have a freedom of life time but if u cant find like minded u will end up wanting to the companion only lonely nights.

Intimacy is part of a relationship many over look it impt in a marriage.. many take for granted.…. The weird part is especially on the women. Before everything and anything also game..... after that this aint right and that aint comfortable.... worst when kids come along. She rather watch drama than have time to cuddle.

MAny point the fingers but never realise 4 other finger are pointing at themselves....

[sammyboyfor]

Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

That's not true there are dozens of both men and women with children who have remarried. In fact, I know very few people who are still on their first marriage. Many are in 2nd marriages and a handful have reached number 3.

Blended families are now a dime a dozen.

[justl00king]

Yaya actually I kinda agreed with you lol
If the guy got kids then I don't need give birth also good! Labor pain is bad! :p plus I'm too old to hv my kids too (:Haha..age is just a number.
Older women r just as attractive, they r womanly and with more experience. ;)

Example of a babe here in her 60s, n still rocking it! :D
http://guardianlv.com/2014/01/christie-brinkley-turns-60-with-stunning-swimsuit-cover/

[Rocode]

Haha..age is just a number.
Older women r just as attractive, they r womanly and with more experience. ;)

Example of a babe here in her 60s, n still rocking it! :D
http://guardianlv.com/2014/01/christie-brinkley-turns-60-with-stunning-swimsuit-cover/

^

My Signature Says It All Samsters... With Age.. Comes Experience...

And With That Comes Romance.. And Hot Sweaty Lustful.. Passion...

Cheers!

[justl00king]

^

My Signature Says It All Samsters... With Age.. Comes Experience...
And With That Comes Romance.. And Hot Sweaty Lustful.. Passion...

Cheers!^5 bro :)

I love all women, for some hot sweaty lustful passion! ;);) lol

[acidicavex]

Haha..age is just a number.
Older women r just as attractive, they r womanly and with more experience. ;)

Example of a babe here in her 60s, n still rocking it! :D
http://guardianlv.com/2014/01/christie-brinkley-turns-60-with-stunning-swimsuit-cover/

I will be damn that the most sexy n beautiul milf in 60s. Would gladly let her drain dry everyday.....

[firejalan]

I think e worst is if one party insisted on D.
Then the Hus till now still don't know why..
Like my fren, care for kids, " obey" e wife, give up hobbies coz wife day no
, talk only but nvr dare to look to WL ..
We all tot he is a decent hus ..
Wife insist on D , then demand e world using e woman charter..
Poor guy...

[topcook1]

I think e worst is if one party insisted on D.
Then the Hus till now still don't know why..
Like my fren, care for kids, " obey" e wife, give up hobbies coz wife day no
, talk only but nvr dare to look to WL ..
We all tot he is a decent hus ..
Wife insist on D , then demand e world using e woman charter..
Poor guy...

To be frank , I am very afraid to get hitch or committed again...nowadays guys must be obedient to woman....moreover I find there are plenty of princess" attitude around"....

[porscheclub]

I have several friends from different races in their 40s - 50s who are on a second marriage. Some of them have own children from previous marriages & a new set together so they are out there.

It will be difficult for an unmarried pre-30 man to accept a single-mother due to personal choices, culture & parent's opinions so single-mums must be realistic with their choices of men while it is easier for single-father to find younger & single ladies.

At the end of the day, whoever has the financial power has the advantage.

[Edyta]

Wife insist on D , then demand e world using e woman charter..
Poor guy...

This is sad. I felt that no matter what happened, what wrong the ex spouse have done. Its gd to have compassion in the course of divorce. Money n stuff try to be fair. Depends on the ability of the husband n always give him enough to keep. If the woman can earn then dont be greedy to ask for alimony. Let it go. It speaks volume to how the kids view the parents if both are compassionate to each other during divorce. End of day that person is someone u vow to live tog thru thick n thin till the end. Since it doesnt last, kindness goes a long way. JMHO

[Edyta]

That's not true there are dozens of both men and women with children who have remarried. In fact, I know very few people who are still on their first marriage. Many are in 2nd marriages and a handful have reached number 3.

Blended families are now a dime a dozen.

This is encouraging gives me hope. Lets see what life brings me.

[Edyta]

To be frank , I am very afraid to get hitch or committed again...nowadays guys must be obedient to woman....moreover I find there are plenty of princess" attitude around"....

What age of women u looking for? 20s maybe princess.

[Edyta]

Intimacy is part of a relationship many over look it impt in a marriage.. many take for granted.…. The weird part is especially on the women. Before everything and anything also game..... after that this aint right and that aint comfortable.... worst when kids come along. She rather watch drama than have time to cuddle.

MAny point the fingers but never realise 4 other finger are pointing at themselves....

I know this issue fr a v long thread in the sex forum. I fail to understand why they are not interested in sex. It is really something v natural like breathing n eating.

[Edyta]

I had visited them few months ago..they are coming back for holidays soon on January....

Gd on u! Keep up the contact it will pay off :)

[Johnbass]

add me single mum with 2 prince

milf ftw!
:d

[loster]

I m currently undergoing divorce process now. Emotionally hurts more than financially. I m still very scarred by marriage and the woman's charter. Guys lose out both ways

[milfmilf]

I m currently undergoing divorce process now. Emotionally hurts more than financially. I m still very scarred by marriage and the woman's charter. Guys lose out both ways

half of your assets?

[justl00king]

I will be damn that the most sexy n beautiul milf in 60s. Would gladly let her drain dry everyday.....Yeah bro, just goes to show age is just a number.
One can look good at any age, n will feel good too! ;)

U have a great evening bro! :)

[topcook1]

What age of women u looking for? 20s maybe princess.

Sad to say many are in the 30s.....

[topcook1]

I m currently undergoing divorce process now. Emotionally hurts more than financially. I m still very scarred by marriage and the woman's charter. Guys lose out both ways

Just be happy and positive...everything will pass....Some of my friends are in process too. One guy even drag more than a year..

[loster]

half of your assets?

More then half. If not sure commit suicide. I too soft hearted

[CockUpForCunt]

why most of local lady age ard 20s to 40s are princess attitude. I dont understand is it too pampered by parents ? sorry to say that.

[Skarlett0]

Hi TS, are you divorced or single unmarried parent?
2 boys definitely not easy for you. I have 1 and I sometimes find myself so exhausted that I don't feel like doing anything else (socialize, hang out with friends). If I manage to squeeze anytime, I would usually be alone. So agree with what you said lah...

[demonhunter]

I m currently undergoing divorce process now. Emotionally hurts more than financially. I m still very scarred by marriage and the woman's charter. Guys lose out both ways

10 yrs ago , you should have choose Winner as your nick instead ...

:D

[Edyta]

Sad to say many are in the 30s.....

No la there are so many types of women. SG is a melting pot. What color race personality u want i think u can find. Its just a matter whether they want u n u want them or not.

If u dont mind me saying, sometimes as divorcee we are not emotionally available ourselves.

[Edyta]

More then half. If not sure commit suicide. I too soft hearted

Being kind n soft hearted doesn"t mean u lose out. $ can earn back, hurt can heal. U have exited graciously from a woman u once trust/love enough to marry to take your last name will mean peace of mind that u have done your best to the end - no regrets. This is esp impt if u have kids.

[Edyta]

Hi TS, are you divorced or single unmarried parent?
2 boys definitely not easy for you. I have 1 and I sometimes find myself so exhausted that I don't feel like doing anything else (socialize, hang out with friends). If I manage to squeeze anytime, I would usually be alone. So agree with what you said lah...

Hi there fellow single parent. I m divorced. Loneliness is part of the journey as a single parent. Acceptance is impt. But i just wana come here n complain....bear with me

[Rocode]

LETS Make A Single Parents Club For all Male & Female Samsters, Someone Take Lead :D

[Rocode]

More then half. If not sure commit suicide. I too soft hearted

Bro When i Hear This Word "Suicide"...

You Ok? If You Want To Talk Just PM me.. I Have Been Thru Suicidal Depression & Am A Living Testament... Or You Can Wechat me Bro

[topcook1]

why most of local lady age ard 20s to 40s are princess attitude. I dont understand is it too pampered by parents ? sorry to say that.

Even Malaysian girls are same too....especially city one.

[Skarlett0]

Hi there fellow single parent. I m divorced. Loneliness is part of the journey as a single parent. Acceptance is impt. But i just wana come here n complain....bear with me



Don worry about complaining.. I never been in ur shoes so I guess I will never know. I'm a single unmarried mum in a complicated situation anyway. I guess at some point we all want companionship.. Take care there.. Watching our kids grow will be the greatest returns in life at this point..

[topcook1]

Don worry about complaining.. I never been in ur shoes so I guess I will never know. I'm a single unmarried mum in a complicated situation anyway. I guess at some point we all want companionship.. Take care there.. Watching our kids grow will be the greatest returns in life at this point..

Plus financially sound too....Money is more important than companionship . No Vitamin M life will be tough to bring up the kids.

[Skarlett0]

Plus financially sound too....Money is more important than companionship . No Vitamin M life will be tough to bring up the kids.

Yup. Money and family's support..

[topcook1]

The equation works up this way $$$=support=companionship

[Skarlett0]

The equation works up this way $$$=support=companionship

Yes. But support from family is not equivalent to $. My mum helps me with my son. And no amount of money can get me such help that I can completely rely on. That was what I was trying to say. It's priceless.

[Edyta]

Yes. But support from family is not equivalent to $. My mum helps me with my son. And no amount of money can get me such help that I can completely rely on. That was what I was trying to say. It's priceless.

Yes indeed love is priceless. Your mum helped out of love.
U can't buy love, feelings. $ is v impt, it ensures u have food on table, shelter to live in etc.
The kind of companionship i enjoy derives from genuine feelings, cannot be bought with $.

[Edyta]

LETS Make A Single Parents Club For all Male & Female Samsters, Someone Take Lead :D

Great idea, u can lead :)

[Skarlett0]

Yes indeed love is priceless. Your mum helped out of love.
U can't buy love, feelings. $ is v impt, it ensures u have food on table, shelter to live in etc.
The kind of companionship i enjoy derives from genuine feelings, cannot be bought with $.


Very well said..

[tstark413]

Gave up liaoz....Let nature takes it course.

There are always 2 sided in every coins. I myself was divorce in 2011 after a 9 years marriage.

In my early 40s. Was been told afew times that some partners do prefer divorce man or woman as they have failed once in their marriage and most likely will cherish the 2nd chance given. In short, wiser in nurturing a relationship. Of course, all these will also depends on the reason of the 1st marriage failure.

But I do agreed, woman with kids will be harder to find another man that can accept them whole heartedly. More problems will most likely happen once he have his kids.....

Would suggest like minded ppl to try going to matching website to try your luck on a second love life. Is never late......not all are meant to walk this earth alone...but some are....That would be me.

[Totallyuseless]

Not only gals...guys also affected as well...Whenever I tell local girls I am a divorcee mostly don't wanna go far with me. Left only foreign woman who dont mind. Local woman knows that dealing with divorcee is tough because of emotional baggage, alimony from previous marriage. Moreover a divorce guy would prefer not to have a grand wedding again....

I agree with u bro..

[topcook1]

LETS Make A Single Parents Club For all Male & Female Samsters, Someone Take Lead :D

I support u take the lead!!We name it as 2nd chance club...

[soggypanties]

Through experience, the kids from previous marriage play a significant role in making or breaking the new relationship. Ideally, if both parties are divorcees with kids, its easier to relate and accept.

However, we are human and it is human to be selfish. No matter how ideally matched, no matter what the permutation of a 2nd marriage is, it will be a much more delicate one to handle because of baggages of the past.

Having said that, many a times I really feel like strangling the little bastard and get him out of the way.... just like how a lion kills the offspring of the previous patriarch. Too much national geographic animal planet? Or are we basically still animals afterall? :p

[Edyta]

I support u take the lead!!We name it as 2nd chance club...
Support this
Nice name

[milfmilf]

Having said that, many a times I really feel like strangling the little bastard and get him out of the way.... just like how a lion kills the offspring of the previous patriarch. Too much national geographic animal planet? Or are we basically still animals afterall? :p

if is a toddler, especially if a girl, maybe easier to accept. But raising a girl also scary lah.. needs lotsa of protection. What did the little rascal do to you? :D ... how old is he?

[sa101666]

Yup! U nailed the real issue.
The woman can be very attractive, nice personality and financially capable but with her divorced status and kids she is doom. She will still get plenty of attention with men wanting just sex from her. If she does not give then these men will run like no tomorrow.
The best way to survive is probably keep a low profile n focus on the kids. Find interest/hobbies, charities to volunteer n friends that will see her till the end of life.

sad to say, i actually agree with u. Most men dont wanna feed kids which are not their own. Personally, i feel the same way too. Esp singapore got woman's charter, where getting married means the man loses out in many ways if anything happens.

[sunhuan-con]

sad to say, i actually agree with u. Most men dont wanna feed kids which are not their own. Personally, i feel the same way too. Esp singapore got woman's charter, where getting married means the man loses out in many ways if anything happens.

I was told when a woman has no love for the man...she will go all way out to get his money during divorce..Woman charter is unfair for man.

[jackson555]

I was told when a woman has no love for the man...she will go all way out to get his money during divorce..Woman charter is unfair for man.

but hardly a woman feels no love/care for the man even after marriage, unless the man has done something despicable.

[soggypanties]

if is a toddler, especially if a girl, maybe easier to accept. But raising a girl also scary lah.. needs lotsa of protection. What did the little rascal do to you? :D ... how old is he?

I don't think its about what the child did. My point is that no matter what, if the child is not yours, its almost impossible to see him/her as your own. Similarly, the child will never regard me as a parent. This is further complicated when the natural father is poisoning his mind to disrupt the relationship.

[topcook1]

I see no point in remarrying again especially for guys.. the only advantages is only companionship. But for companionship guys got to pay a high price for it. Dont let the small head rules the big head..I might sound selfish and negative...

[Edyta]

I was told when a woman has no love for the man...she will go all way out to get his money during divorce..Woman charter is unfair for man.
Not every woman is like that. End of day he is still the kids father n the man she choose to marry. Give and take, kindness goes a long way.

[Edyta]

I see no point in remarrying again especially for guys.. the only advantages is only companionship. But for companionship guys got to pay a high price for it. Dont let the small head rules the big head..I might sound selfish and negative...

No point for financially ok women as well actually. Marriage means sharing of assets again, too scary.

[Edyta]

sad to say, i actually agree with u. Most men dont wanna feed kids which are not their own. Personally, i feel the same way too. Esp singapore got woman's charter, where getting married means the man loses out in many ways if anything happens.

Even if the woman don't need him to feed the kids, emotionally the man is also apprehensivr to play the scary role of step father.

[Rocode]

Just Sayin.. ItS Interactive Video.. Quite Funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3eyZgmpQCM&list=PLA265B1B07E6BAAD1

[sunhuan-con]

Just Sayin.. ItS Interactive Video.. Quite Funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3eyZgmpQCM&list=PLA265B1B07E6BAAD1

Nice one...

[porscheclub]

I was told when a woman has no love for the man...she will go all way out to get his money during divorce..Woman charter is unfair for man.

Then, it is for the man to be wise and protect his assets. So please seek counsel with a good lawyer before marriage.

There are also men in Singapore who are claiming against wives.

[4getful]

I guess probably women hate wc more than men hate it? I think Marriage can be a simple give n take. Men needs sex, wives gives, leads to happy marriage. Men deprive of sex, it is a matter of time he goes for other women, then divorce. I think with women nowadays thinking they have wc, some tends to yaya papaya n declare divorce, thinking this way will destroy the men. End up outside have plenty of women from different countries waiting for the men to choose n yet she becomes lonesome, so wat she have the $, become rich. If there is no wc incorporated to start with in a marriage, maybe no women will anyhow say divorce n there will have many happy marriage. People will cherish their marriage .:rolleyes:
A marriage breakdown, the kids who under the mother care, will always think the father is at fault. Juz a thought, a clap needs both hand to do the work, one will not be able to do the job. If there is a tumour, cut it b4 it kills you. Who will in the right mind to give up one who is good, demure n can make the marriage a colorful memory.

[Yakuza]

Is a genuine problems tat persisted thru out history worldwide .. no real good ans to every diff individual situation .. we hv to learn to adapt to life changing moments .. no 2-ways abt it .. no one or even the counsellors are wiser other than U yourselves to understand the predicaments and the heart wrenching experience that u r going thru or went thru ..

Those who weather thru storm and still stand tall and firm will be much happier, stronger .. n wiser .. though there will aways be some who nvr learn.

Just remember tat u hv gain freedom, not by choice, and treasure each and every moments to love and forgive urselves.. ........ and with that .. a clear n calm mind comprehended with a serene heart & soul ... u can take on the world and raise ur wonderful kids just like emulating a family nucleus.. cheersss .. :)

I really luv this sub-forum section .. where real life issues are discussed upon with real life experiences and sharing solutions for a happy ending (as far as practically possible) .. hv a happy mid-week ..

[Edyta]

Is a genuine problems tat persisted thru out history worldwide .. no real good ans to every diff individual situation .. we hv to learn to adapt to life changing moments .. no 2-ways abt it .. no one or even the counsellors are wiser other than U yourselves to understand the predicaments and the heart wrenching experience that u r going thru or went thru ..

Those who weather thru storm and still stand tall and firm will be much happier, stronger .. n wiser .. though there will aways be some who nvr learn.

Just remember tat u hv gain freedom, not by choice, and treasure each and every moments to love and forgive urselves.. ........ and with that .. a clear n calm mind comprehended with a serene heart & soul ... u can take on the world and raise ur wonderful kids just like emulating a family nucleus.. cheersss .. :)

I really luv this sub-forum section .. where real life issues are discussed upon with real life experiences and sharing solutions for a happy ending (as far as practically possible) .. hv a happy mid-week ..

Yup be contented with what we have n make the best out of it is the way to go. If not will be firever miserable. But still.... its gd to just talk abt it sometimes abt life disappointments n this forum is gd.

[Johnbass]

Those couples planning marriage and those still in marriage can also learn from you folks.
There are some folks who got lucky in their 2nd marriage too.
Cheer up!
:D

[justl00king]

If the guy got kids then I don't need give birth also good! Labor pain is bad! plus I'm too old to hv my kids too No worries, we can always use protection, lower the risk of having kids. :eek: lol ;)

What you just described is really lovely but its rare.Good luck, hope u do find the rare one. :)

[OceanLi]

Good topic for discussion. I will share my point here, either sex once walk out of the marriage, there is this baggages of "divorcee" and the emotional roller coaster. Alot of issue will surface and it can be more bad than good, within your circle of friends, relatives, family members.

No one and I mean actually no marriage couples will allow to see their marriages suffer, or incapcitated. Going thru the procedure of separation and divorced can be alot more tought than getting hitch and marriage. If you engaged an lawyer that is more $$$$ digger and your partner is not willing to settle it like an mature person to end the marriage life, this will be not just emotional, financially dry, but mental and health can suffer as a result. Talking about it is always easier, but going the process is dire difficult be it you have children or not. The reason being simple is 2 of the union are not going to be rational much afterall, and ugly side of each other is bare before this matrimony couple, whom once loved and committed to each other ... "Till death doer us apart".

In our today society context, information can be access easily and to find time for couple to sustained the marriages, personal couple time is utmost precious and the "rekindle bedtime time" of 10 to 15 min is like Diamond.
Being in marriages, none want it to fail and it's harder to perservere want 1 of the partner fall into infidelity, or abusive and unacceptable behaviour. Which is why most time is easier to call it quit than stay on and go for counselling to seek what is wrong and build up slowly. I have much more to share but time constraint just shall penoff. ;)

[S.B.Y.1]

Yup occasionally I do...keep in contact with them...I will send them money and gifts too. They are still my kids..

You are a good man indeed :cool:

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Those couples planning marriage and those still in marriage can also learn from you folks.
There are some folks who got lucky in their 2nd marriage too.
Cheer up!
:D

I am in my second marriage and now wished I hadn't tied the knot again...this time to me its really a death knot cos after going through the first round of marriage and divorce, I know how draining emotionally and financially it will be. That why to me its a death knot cos i will never ever seek the divorce route again even if i have to be unhappy in this marriage...

[Captainoceania77]

I am in my second marriage and now wished I hadn't tied the knot again...this time to me its really a death knot cos after going through the first round of marriage and divorce, I know how draining emotionally and financially it will be. That why to me its a death knot cos i will never ever seek the divorce route again even if i have to be unhappy in this marriage...

Mentally torture......u should learn lesson from first marriage...never get marry again.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Mentally torture......u should learn lesson from first marriage...never get marry again.

hai what can i say, a sucker is born every minute i was too caught up in my second wind to realize the perils..

[Captainoceania77]

hai what can i say, a sucker is born every minute i was too caught up in my second wind to realize the perils..

Is common..I have seen some friends divorce 2, 3 times ...never learn lesson . Just lame excuses of loneliness.

[Edyta]

I am in my second marriage and now wished I hadn't tied the knot again...this time to me its really a death knot cos after going through the first round of marriage and divorce, I know how draining emotionally and financially it will be. That why to me its a death knot cos i will never ever seek the divorce route again even if i have to be unhappy in this marriage...

This is timely reminder to keep my heart to myself
As we aged the stake gets bigger n aft 1 round certainly once bitten twice shy
Its equally draining to a woman too

[kt88_2]

Married or divorce is actually same for some ppl.Like me no sex life.Sleep seperate rooms.There no quarrel or dispute, just naturally end up this life style.What u think , do i live like a divorcee.Bring kids to school, lessons , work, etc is the usual activities.

[Edyta]

Married or divorce is actually same for some ppl.Like me no sex life.Sleep seperate rooms.There no quarrel or dispute, just naturally end up this life style.What u think , do i live like a divorcee.Bring kids to school, lessons , work, etc is the usual activities.

Since there is no issue with the marriage it seems tht sex just being neglected.
Possible to do something to revive the bedroom actions?

[sunhuan-con]

Since there is no issue with the marriage it seems tht sex just being neglected.
Possible to do something to revive the bedroom actions?

Dont think so..as there is too much gaps and communications break down. Guess the woman cant wet and no mood for it.

[Edyta]

Dont think so..as there is too much gaps and communications break down. Guess the woman cant wet and no mood for it.

This is sad. Sex between a loving couple is gd for bonding, itimacy n certainly a great stress relaxer.

[milfmilf]

Married or divorce is actually same for some ppl.Like me no sex life.Sleep seperate rooms.There no quarrel or dispute, just naturally end up this life style.What u think , do i live like a divorcee.Bring kids to school, lessons , work, etc is the usual activities.

this naturally is due to something started ma ...

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Married or divorce is actually same for some ppl.Like me no sex life.Sleep seperate rooms.There no quarrel or dispute, just naturally end up this life style.What u think , do i live like a divorcee.Bring kids to school, lessons , work, etc is the usual activities.

Guess mine is heading down this road too...sex has always been sticking point for both of us since she can't seems to see the need for it...now we are down to communication by texting only when the need to....most times she don't even bother to reply my text..i think the only reasons why she is keeping me around the bed is only so I can keep her company at night cos she is afraid of sleeping alone....honestly I know for a fact, this woman actually don't need a lover all she wants is just a man presence...:(:(:(

[topcook1]

Married or divorce is actually same for some ppl.Like me no sex life.Sleep seperate rooms.There no quarrel or dispute, just naturally end up this life style.What u think , do i live like a divorcee.Bring kids to school, lessons , work, etc is the usual activities.

90 per cent of marriage couples lead such kind of life just because of responsibility sake. This will eventually lead to more business for Fls and HC. I noticed most couples will post their family outing etc on the FB. Is just on the surface only.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

90 per cent of marriage couples lead such kind of life just because of responsibility sake. This will eventually lead to more business for Fls and HC. I noticed most couples will post their family outing etc on the FB. Is just on the surface only.
Yes that very true same for my oc....anyone looking at her FB pic of holidays and outing will think she having a very blessed and happy marriage but little do they know how dysfunctional it is...:(:(

[sunhuan-con]

Yes that very true same for my oc....anyone looking at her FB pic of holidays and outing will think she having a very blessed and happy marriage but little do they know how dysfunctional it is...:(:(



Most couples will post their blessed photos and show around...

[heye]

i had been thru divorce just a mth back.
Glad i had made the choice.

I just like to comment in all divorce the person who is hurt the most is the child.
The kids are innocent so pls treat them fairly

i had a son and a daughter who is in the custordy of my ex wife.
I hate the law in Singapore.
She betray me so many times and she even own up she wanted to stay in this marriage bocz she knew i will take care of her but she felt more love with her FBs.

I feel dat wat attention etc is bullshit,
She wans me to stay home and she goes drinking and flirt ard.
And she expect me to treat her nice even thou i had found out her deed.
I nv regret marrying her bcoz of my beautiful kids.

Like many mention , we might be devasted to even go to a second marriage
and can anyone except our kids like their own

For all divorcee , if u are not the 1 who breaks the marriage.
Tink of ur children , do not regret and hurt your children they can feel it
embarce the fact , move on coz the children needs u to be brave.

[topcook1]

i had been thru divorce just a mth back.
Glad i had made the choice.

I just like to comment in all divorce the person who is hurt the most is the child.
The kids are innocent so pls treat them fairly

i had a son and a daughter who is in the custordy of my ex wife.
I hate the law in Singapore.
She betray me so many times and she even own up she wanted to stay in this marriage bocz she knew i will take care of her but she felt more love with her FBs.

I feel dat wat attention etc is bullshit,
She wans me to stay home and she goes drinking and flirt ard.
And she expect me to treat her nice even thou i had found out her deed.
I nv regret marrying her bcoz of my beautiful kids.

Like many mention , we might be devasted to even go to a second marriage
and can anyone except our kids like their own

For all divorcee , if u are not the 1 who breaks the marriage.
Tink of ur children , do not regret and hurt your children they can feel it
embarce the fact , move on coz the children needs u to be brave.


I was in the same shoe with you and had divorced 2 years ago. Right now enjoying my freedom . Guess will not seek for a second marriage as I knows woman will always give man trouble too. I rather be a free bird out of the cage and not going to be in prison again. Woman charter sucks.....I had 2 kids and both are not with me as they had migrated overseas , I let them go because they have a better life over there.

[Edyta]

Guess mine is heading down this road too...sex has always been sticking point for both of us since she can't seems to see the need for it...now we are down to communication by texting only when the need to....most times she don't even bother to reply my text..i think the only reasons why she is keeping me around the bed is only so I can keep her company at night cos she is afraid of sleeping alone....honestly I know for a fact, this woman actually don't need a lover all she wants is just a man presence...:(:(:(

I find this thinking v strange. Sex is enjoyable to women too.

[Edyta]

i had been thru divorce just a mth back.
Glad i had made the choice.

I just like to comment in all divorce the person who is hurt the most is the child.
The kids are innocent so pls treat them fairly

i had a son and a daughter who is in the custordy of my ex wife.
I hate the law in Singapore.
She betray me so many times and she even own up she wanted to stay in this marriage bocz she knew i will take care of her but she felt more love with her FBs.

I feel dat wat attention etc is bullshit,
She wans me to stay home and she goes drinking and flirt ard.
And she expect me to treat her nice even thou i had found out her deed.
I nv regret marrying her bcoz of my beautiful kids.

Like many mention , we might be devasted to even go to a second marriage
and can anyone except our kids like their own

For all divorcee , if u are not the 1 who breaks the marriage.
Tink of ur children , do not regret and hurt your children they can feel it
embarce the fact , move on coz the children needs u to be brave.

Yup since already divorced the relationship with your ex wife ended officially. No need to waste time think about what she did in the past. Your relationship with your kids are life long so treasure them never lose contact. Try to co parent with your ex. I know this is hard but please try. Even if seeing a family counsellor is good. Move on and all the best!

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I find this thinking v strange. Sex is enjoyable to women too.

well unfortunately some woman thinks its a chore...

[S.B.Y.1]

i had a son and a daughter who is in the custordy of my ex wife..

Your children will always be yours. :) Nothing can ever change that.

[HCKing]

I find this thinking v strange. Sex is enjoyable to women too.

sex is never a priority for women. which is why u will only find 5 - 10% female members in this forum, the rest are all busy surfing flowerpod or fashion and shopping websites. ever since they r financial independent they do not see sex as their duty anymore in marriage since they can always say no and there's nothing u can do about it. to them sex do not bear significance unless you r trying to produce a child so even if they do it out of watever reasons the sex itself would also be half hearted, dead fish kinda act. so bros who have high sex drive better think twice before typing the knots. :D

[sunhuan-con]

sex is never a priority for women. which is why u will only find 5 - 10% female members in this forum, the rest are all busy surfing flowerpod or fashion and shopping websites. ever since they r financial independent they do not see sex as their duty anymore in marriage since they can always say no and there's nothing u can do about it. to them sex do not bear significance unless you r trying to produce a child so even if they do it out of watever reasons the sex itself would also be half hearted, dead fish kinda act. so bros who have high sex drive better think twice before typing the knots. :D

Nature has created man loves sex and lust whereby woman loves fashion , shopping and enjoyment. Some smart woman will use sex to tie a man down and eventually makes him to tie knot (pregnancy). Conclusion is that there is no free lunch in this world. Better use big head to control small head.

[sg571958]

Lurking around and have yet to post anything....just as well do so. Well, been divorced with 2 kids. In my early 40s and been ripped dry during divorce proceedings. I'm petty much middle high income and because of divorce, very been left dry. The worst thing to manage is to balance being father to 2 kids near to teenage soon and yet be able to stay alive in highly competitive corporate work like - basically I work 24x7, work avg 12 hrs a day and travel 50% of my time for business's. I find myself not doing Enough for the kids and yet have to stay alive in competitive work life to bring back home the bread:(!

Have come across girls that I knows from work life that is near my age, come across as being able to click very well and find their thinking very mature. But upon trying to approach to the next step, in many cases upon knows u have 2 kids, it's end of the story.

Tried twice only in 6 years plus, as I'm not looking for FB, but serious partner thru death. Non was successful and my conclusion is girls have expectation of their life and they are not evil, just selfish. Nothing wrong with that since everyone have their priorities in life and the pool of girls we have in this "developed" country and also due to culture, priority have always been "quality of life". True love? Tell me in my next life after I forget all the ordeal I've been thru in my next life, I might believe.

From mid thirties year old to now, after several years, I don't think I will find my partner or my kids a mother.

The statement, people(girls) are not evil, just selfish comes form the girl I have a crush. It's ready spot on and wake me up from my dreams......move on and it is what it is.

[Edyta]

sex is never a priority for women. which is why u will only find 5 - 10% female members in this forum, the rest are all busy surfing flowerpod or fashion and shopping websites. ever since they r financial independent they do not see sex as their duty anymore in marriage since they can always say no and there's nothing u can do about it. to them sex do not bear significance unless you r trying to produce a child so even if they do it out of watever reasons the sex itself would also be half hearted, dead fish kinda act. so bros who have high sex drive better think twice before typing the knots. :D

I think it has something to do with asian upbringing. Gals are taught from young not to show interest in sex incase people think they are loose. Its quite different when i stayed overseas. It takes 2 to clap so to enjoy great sex for a long time, both parties must put in effort. Staying in shape helps.
Btw i am female

[Edyta]

Lurking around and have yet to post anything....just as well do so. Well, been divorced with 2 kids. In my early 40s and been ripped dry during divorce proceedings. I'm petty much middle high income and because of divorce, very been left dry. The worst thing to manage is to balance being father to 2 kids near to teenage soon and yet be able to stay alive in highly competitive corporate work like - basically I work 24x7, work avg 12 hrs a day and travel 50% of my time for business's. I find myself not doing Enough for the kids and yet have to stay alive in competitive work life to bring back home the bread:(!

Have come across girls that I knows from work life that is near my age, come across as being able to click very well and find their thinking very mature. But upon trying to approach to the next step, in many cases upon knows u have 2 kids, it's end of the story.

Tried twice only in 6 years plus, as I'm not looking for FB, but serious partner thru death. Non was successful and my conclusion is girls have expectation of their life and they are not evil, just selfish. Nothing wrong with that since everyone have their priorities in life and the pool of girls we have in this "developed" country and also due to culture, priority have always been "quality of life". True love? Tell me in my next life after I forget all the ordeal I've been thru in my next life, I might believe.

From mid thirties year old to now, after several years, I don't think I will find my partner or my kids a mother.

The statement, people(girls) are not evil, just selfish comes form the girl I have a crush. It's ready spot on and wake me up from my dreams......move on and it is what it is.

Are your kids staying with u? If they are not, it shouldnt matter too mch if u have. Unless the woman wants kids n you dont want more.

[Edyta]

Nature has created man loves sex and lust whereby woman loves fashion , shopping and enjoyment. Some smart woman will use sex to tie a man down and eventually makes him to tie knot (pregnancy). Conclusion is that there is no free lunch in this world. Better use big head to control small head.

Some women love a good challenge in career n have good sex as well. Use sex to tie a man down? Hmm its more fulfilling to earn it fr a successful career or business.

[topcook1]

Lurking around and have yet to post anything....just as well do so. Well, been divorced with 2 kids. In my early 40s and been ripped dry during divorce proceedings. I'm petty much middle high income and because of divorce, very been left dry. The worst thing to manage is to balance being father to 2 kids near to teenage soon and yet be able to stay alive in highly competitive corporate work like - basically I work 24x7, work avg 12 hrs a day and travel 50% of my time for business's. I find myself not doing Enough for the kids and yet have to stay alive in competitive work life to bring back home the bread:(!

Have come across girls that I knows from work life that is near my age, come across as being able to click very well and find their thinking very mature. But upon trying to approach to the next step, in many cases upon knows u have 2 kids, it's end of the story.

Tried twice only in 6 years plus, as I'm not looking for FB, but serious partner thru death. Non was successful and my conclusion is girls have expectation of their life and they are not evil, just selfish. Nothing wrong with that since everyone have their priorities in life and the pool of girls we have in this "developed" country and also due to culture, priority have always been "quality of life". True love? Tell me in my next life after I forget all the ordeal I've been thru in my next life, I might believe.

From mid thirties year old to now, after several years, I don't think I will find my partner or my kids a mother.

The statement, people(girls) are not evil, just selfish comes form the girl I have a crush. It's ready spot on and wake me up from my dreams......move on and it is what it is.

Bro is true...whenever I tell a woman I am divorcee, their face change and wont go anymore further. Guess is better to be single.

[sg571958]

Yap, I've my 2 kids with me......was looking for a partner to be their mother for a few years......but comes to a point already given up.


Are your kids staying with u? If they are not, it shouldnt matter too mch if u have. Unless the woman wants kids n you dont want more.

[maxsee]

I think that when you are a divorcee and there are kids staying with you...finding a partner will definitely be an uphill task...I mean not many people are willing to take care of another person's kid....That is the sad truth....:D:D:D

[zan888]

Yap, I've my 2 kids with me......was looking for a partner to be their mother for a few years......but comes to a point already given up.

You can find a divorcee with a kid or kids?

It surprises me after had a bad marriage breakup, people are still willing to take the plunge again! Why not have a gf? Must marry meh? Think signing some certificate is going to bind her for life? Getting married is just to legitimize the children you have together but since she will be 40+ children is unlikely. Do you think a step mum is the best thing for your kids? Few can subsitute real mother's love. If can find an Angel, then you are lucky but I think marrying someone to give your kids a mom is not necessary. I was raised by a single parent and as far as I can know, I am normal and not dysfunctional...hopefully lol

[Yakuza]

Bro is true...whenever I tell a woman I am divorcee, their face change and wont go anymore further. Guess is better to be single.

All tat r discussed, highlighted, personal experience, etc r not 100% happen to everyone .. as wat most of u think .. case in example .. our popular radio deejay married thrice to all 3 young ladies from the same station .. and each time proudly announced the success n breakdowns... proofs that not everyone shy away from divorcee ..

Like wat Edyta said .. there's still a small percentage of ladies love to hv sex. . Some right thru to their age... is just a matter of 2 person's fate of meeting each other that matches their compatibility. But sad to say most of the times are not and often resulted in all the above postings endings. Why?? We always allowed :

1. the initial attraction to rule
2. The small head and small brain to think
3. The heart n feelings to take over completely, although is good, but nvr allow complete control over ur big head.
4. Failure to assess other tell tale signs
5. Failure to check ur birth star compatibility
6. Ignoring both parties background
7. Failure or ignoring each other's capabilities or capacities
8. Failure to plan
9. Refused to live out of hallucinations and wild dreams
10. Too confident of the future thereby rufusing to accept failure
11. Overcome by joy and initial sexual satisfaction
12...... and many many more ...

Complicated? ? Well, tat's life.. ur own LIFE that u r playing with .. .. is nobody's fault .. unless u r being force into it.

A little food for thought

Cheersss... :D

[sunhuan-con]

You can find a divorcee with a kid or kids?

It surprises me after had a bad marriage breakup, people are still willing to take the plunge again! Why not have a gf? Must marry meh? Think signing some certificate is going to bind her for life? Getting married is just to legitimize the children you have together but since she will be 40+ children is unlikely. Do you think a step mum is the best thing for your kids? Few can subsitute real mother's love. If can find an Angel, then you are lucky but I think marrying someone to give your kids a mom is not necessary. I was raised by a single parent and as far as I can know, I am normal and not dysfunctional...hopefully lol

Best solutions is to have more money in pocket. As for marriage is like digging its own tomb. Ultimately we still got to be alone. The life partner wont be dying together unless is an accident. Have more friends and activities will do.

[Edyta]

Yap, I've my 2 kids with me......was looking for a partner to be their mother for a few years......but comes to a point already given up.

Its indeed a challenge when the kids are with u. Men or women no one like to inherit someone elses kids. For me, I have told my kids no new father whatsoever. It doesn't mean if i have a new man he is their dad (unfair to new man n kids). I respect my ex and he is always their daddy regardless of what happen between adults. Kids must know their parents love them. Jmho

[Edyta]

You can find a divorcee with a kid or kids?

It surprises me after had a bad marriage breakup, people are still willing to take the plunge again! Why not have a gf? Must marry meh? Think signing some certificate is going to bind her for life? Getting married is just to legitimize the children you have together but since she will be 40+ children is unlikely. Do you think a step mum is the best thing for your kids? Few can subsitute real mother's love. If can find an Angel, then you are lucky but I think marrying someone to give your kids a mom is not necessary. I was raised by a single parent and as far as I can know, I am normal and not dysfunctional...hopefully lol

I agree marriage is to legitimise the kids.

[Edyta]

All tat r discussed, highlighted, personal experience, etc r not 100% happen to everyone .. as wat most of u think .. case in example .. our popular radio deejay married thrice to all 3 young ladies from the same station .. and each time proudly announced the success n breakdowns... proofs that not everyone shy away from divorcee ..

Like wat Edyta said .. there's still a small percentage of ladies love to hv sex. . Some right thru to their age... is just a matter of 2 person's fate of meeting each other that matches their compatibility. But sad to say most of the times are not and often resulted in all the above postings endings. Why?? We always allowed :

1. the initial attraction to rule
2. The small head and small brain to think
3. The heart n feelings to take over completely, although is good, but nvr allow complete control over ur big head.
4. Failure to assess other tell tale signs
5. Failure to check ur birth star compatibility
6. Ignoring both parties background
7. Failure or ignoring each other's capabilities or capacities
8. Failure to plan
9. Refused to live out of hallucinations and wild dreams
10. Too confident of the future thereby rufusing to accept failure
11. Overcome by joy and initial sexual satisfaction
12...... and many many more ...

Complicated? ? Well, tat's life.. ur own LIFE that u r playing with .. .. is nobody's fault .. unless u r being force into it.

A little food for thought

Cheersss... :D

The DJ has no kids so less baggage?
All the points u mentioned above many of us have checked multiple of those. We are humans....

[Yakuza]

The DJ has no kids so less baggage?
All the points u mentioned above many of us have checked multiple of those. We are humans....

Yes ..am aware .. was mentioning abt topcook's in my reply.. :)

Bro is true...whenever I tell a woman I am divorcee, their face change and wont go anymore further. Guess is better to be single.

[Yakuza]

Guess u hv read this ..

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=480884

[Edyta]

Guess u hv read this ..

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=480884

Yup read it. His problem is the reality. Most people view divorcees very negatively. And in Singapore context you marry not just the person but the whole extended family regardless u are malay chinese indian or eurasian. I wish the TS all the best but if he choose to pursue on there are alot of challenges ahead. If let go he might regret. Its between hard rock n deep blue sea. If i were him i would give up. Just dont wana drag so many innocent parties thru the mud.

[july3rd]

Oh dear! here so negative!

Just to share with you all, I know a guy he now in his early 50s. Just re-married 4 years, his wife is late 30s they have a little boy age 3 years old.

His elder son is 22 or 23, youngest daughter is around 15 or 16

When is meant to be it will be. Don't be too upset! I'm sure not all girls are selfish! Good luck!

[zan888]

Boy three years old only still honeymoon period ley lol.

Fall in love is very easy but staying together after is the challenging part. I think we have all experienced this before. So its not about being negative but being realistic:)

[HCKing]

Best solutions is to have more money in pocket. As for marriage is like digging its own tomb. Ultimately we still got to be alone. The life partner wont be dying together unless is an accident. Have more friends and activities will do.

agree. for a society like ours in a realistic way money will be more reliable than relationships. at least you do not have to worry about your meals if you are left alone when old.

[HCKing]

Yup read it. His problem is the reality. Most people view divorcees very negatively. And in Singapore context you marry not just the person but the whole extended family regardless u are malay chinese indian or eurasian. I wish the TS all the best but if he choose to pursue on there are alot of challenges ahead. If let go he might regret. Its between hard rock n deep blue sea. If i were him i would give up. Just dont wana drag so many innocent parties thru the mud.

this kinda thing takes 2 hands to clap. if their love is strong both parties will be able to manage somehow. but most of the time it's either one party chickened out or the other party got tired of it. :D

[zan888]

I agree marriage is to legitimise the kids.

In the past the rich man has wives and mistress. Often the man doesn't have a will cos superstitious ,so being legitimate counts a lot as only legitimate children will inherit the father's wealth. In this day and age there is little meaning to legitimacy as the WC states that the parents are required to support their children legitimate or otherwise.

[Edyta]

Oh dear! here so negative!

Just to share with you all, I know a guy he now in his early 50s. Just re-married 4 years, his wife is late 30s they have a little boy age 3 years old.

His elder son is 22 or 23, youngest daughter is around 15 or 16

When is meant to be it will be. Don't be too upset! I'm sure not all girls are selfish! Good luck!
Have a baby in his 50s? Wow thts brave.

[Edyta]

In the past the rich man has wives and mistress. Often the man doesn't have a will cos superstitious ,so being legitimate counts a lot as only legitimate children will inherit the father's wealth. In this day and age there is little meaning to legitimacy as the WC states that the parents are required to support their children legitimate or otherwise.

Our law still distinguish between legitimate n illegitimate child. I think its fair to give a proper family unit when having a kid. Jmo

[zan888]

Our law still distinguish between legitimate n illegitimate child. I think its fair to give a proper family unit when having a kid. Jmo

It does but a man can still will his property to illegitimate children. Anyway I don't think there is a stigma as in people will discrimate children saying this child is illegitimate? Well I guess relatives will gossip but it is so common nowadays to see single parent family that people don't really care.

[sg571958]

Bro, I'm okay with having a GF or whatever.....but I doubt girls are looking for a GF status....so far most are looking at getting marry, even for divorcee. I agree I would prefer a life time close GF partner -(do not need to wife status & I'm sure im more than capable both financially and from integrity stand-point).

Anyway, it is what it is after all these years, I have more or less given up.

You can find a divorcee with a kid or kids?

It surprises me after had a bad marriage breakup, people are still willing to take the plunge again! Why not have a gf? Must marry meh? Think signing some certificate is going to bind her for life? Getting married is just to legitimize the children you have together but since she will be 40+ children is unlikely. Do you think a step mum is the best thing for your kids? Few can subsitute real mother's love. If can find an Angel, then you are lucky but I think marrying someone to give your kids a mom is not necessary. I was raised by a single parent and as far as I can know, I am normal and not dysfunctional...hopefully lol

[sunhuan-con]

Bro, I'm okay with having a GF or whatever.....but I doubt girls are looking for a GF status....so far most are looking at getting marry, even for divorcee. I agree I would prefer a life time close GF partner -(do not need to wife status & I'm sure im more than capable both financially and from integrity stand-point).

Anyway, it is what it is after all these years, I have more or less given up.

True 90 % of girls wanna get marry and have status. Those tell u they dont mind be a gf of lifetime are bullshit. Even mistresses also hopes to have status too.

[maxsee]

Girls will only not mind maintaining a GF status if your pockets are deep enough.....Otherwise, there is no reason for them not to seek the marriage status...Since there is simply no security with a person who has shallow pockets...:D:D:D

[HonkyTonkyMan]

True 90 % of girls wanna get marry and have status. Those tell u they dont mind be a gf of lifetime are bullshit. Even mistresses also hopes to have status too.
yup that very true, beginning they can tell you all sort of crap how they don't mind playing second fiddle and all they want is your love blah blah blah...after a while they start complaining why cannot spend special ocassion with you, why have to always be discreet going out, why cannot hold hands...than the end is when they start pressuring you for status....

[Edyta]

yup that very true, beginning they can tell you all sort of crap how they don't mind playing second fiddle and all they want is your love blah blah blah...after a while they start complaining why cannot spend special ocassion with you, why have to always be discreet going out, why cannot hold hands...than the end is when they start pressuring you for status....

Wanting security is a very natural thing to women
And also social pressure for her to "conclude her status"

[worker]

Yup! U nailed the real issue.
The woman can be very attractive, nice personality and financially capable but with her divorced status and kids she is doom. She will still get plenty of attention with men wanting just sex from her. If she does not give then these men will run like no tomorrow.
The best way to survive is probably keep a low profile n focus on the kids. Find interest/hobbies, charities to volunteer n friends that will see her till the end of life.

I don't mind because i love kids. Anyone want to introduce? Must be financially capable as I am a poor man

[AlvinLiew]

True 90 % of girls wanna get marry and have status. Those tell u they dont mind be a gf of lifetime are bullshit. Even mistresses also hopes to have status too.

Agree with you bro, very well said :cool:

[sunhuan-con]

Agree with you bro, very well said :cool:

Nothing is free in this world...

[Princessy]

Just curious will guy mind just be bf status? I think it's not just girls mind abt being gf status but guys will proberly mind abt it too at some point of time through the relationship ba right? or guys really don't mind as long they gets what they want - sex?

[Edyta]

Just curious will guy mind just be bf status? I think it's not just girls mind abt being gf status but guys will proberly mind abt it too at some point of time through the relationship ba right? or guys really don't mind as long they gets what they want - sex?
I guess most (almost all) would be too happy to have sex, romance, company all with NSA. Enjoy the benefits of the relationship without the responsibilities.

[jason_]

Yes. But support from family is not equivalent to $. My mum helps me with my son. And no amount of money can get me such help that I can completely rely on. That was what I was trying to say. It's priceless.

make sure you give support too if in future your children end up following your footsteps as single parents.

[dresden]

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

I guess it's pretty sad to learn that a guy only gets intimate with you for your body and not because he wants to be closer to you. Maybe it's still possible that someone in the same situation understands you? All the best, I'm sure there's someone who wouldnt mind that fact

[4getful]

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

They should thanks their women charter. It may not be surprise if more women are more than willing to initiate a divorce. To some, the husband is juz another man, no difference from all their previous sex partner bf. For what i believe, whether a marriage is working anot, mostly depend on the women. Unless they have choosen the men that don‘t even deserve a wife, if not, a happy marriage can be achieve if the women wants it. With more ppl having sex before marriage, one shall not be surprised there will be adultery in a marriage.

[Edyta]

They should thanks their women charter. It may not be surprise if more women are more than willing to initiate a divorce. To some, the husband is juz another man, no difference from all their previous sex partner bf. For what i believe, whether a marriage is working anot, mostly depend on the women. Unless they have choosen the men that don‘t even deserve a wife, if not, a happy marriage can be achieve if the women wants it. With more ppl having sex before marriage, one shall not be surprised there will be adultery in a marriage.

I believe both the man n the woman need to make the marriage works. The woman alone cannot make the marriage works if her man does not wish to.
Marriage is a big commitment very few will take it lightly to divorce like breaking up with past bfs. Not every women uses women charter to abuse their ex spouse. Jmo.

[wolfberry2]

I believe both the man n the woman need to make the marriage works. The woman alone cannot make the marriage works if her man does not wish to.
Marriage is a big commitment very few will take it lightly to divorce like breaking up with past bfs. Not every women uses women charter to abuse their ex spouse. Jmo.

Agree. It takes 2 hands to clap. Both women and men need to put in effort to make it work.

Don't think any women or men would examine the Women Charter prior to marriage either. It's all in good faith and commitment that both partners come together.

[sunhuan-con]

Agree. It takes 2 hands to clap. Both women and men need to put in effort to make it work.

Don't think any women or men would examine the Women Charter prior to marriage either. It's all in good faith and commitment that both partners come together.

Nowadays people are selfish and self centered because of the KS society.....

[topcook1]

Best is to stay single if not ready for commitment. Marriage nowadays is not like those fantasy whereby both husband and wife love each other until life ends . There are too much expectations and requirements . Woman has lost its role for being a good wife and mother.

[Edyta]

Nowadays people are selfish and self centered because of the KS society.....
True. Altruism is in short supply so all the exceptions are news worthy. We read them fr the press.

[Edyta]

Best is to stay single if not ready for commitment. Marriage nowadays is not like those fantasy whereby both husband and wife love each other until life ends . There are too much expectations and requirements . Woman has lost its role for being a good wife and mother.

I do agree women hv lost their natural role since cavemen time. I do wish i could stay home n just focus on the home, nurure my kids, be a loving wife. Now there are too many roles to fill n women cant juggle so maids came n increasing pressure on men to chip in on chores, grand parents havr to help etc. That is a whole new set of problem n everyone is tired n unhappy.

[Soul_Reaper]

Don't think any women or men would examine the Women Charter prior to marriage either. It's all in good faith and commitment that both partners come together.

AWARE has been going around the educational institutions giving talks to the girls about the Womens Charter..... it's the men who enter into marriages clueless about the WC until the marriage runs into trouble.

F U * K

T H E

W O M E N S

C H A R T E R !! :mad:

[Soul_Reaper]

Best is to stay single if not ready for commitment. Marriage nowadays is not like those fantasy whereby both husband and wife love each other until life ends . There are too much expectations and requirements . Woman has lost its role for being a good wife and mother.

In this era and time and especially for Singapore...... only fools get married and place themselves at the mercy of the WC.

Pussies are so readily available in so many forms.... just find, fu*k & forget and save yourselves from all that troubles of the WC.

F U * K

T H E

W O M E N S

C H A R T E R ! ! :mad:

[surbana]

In this era and time and especially for Singapore...... only fools get married and place themselves at the mercy of the WC.

Pussies are so readily available in so many forms.... just find, fu*k & forget and save yourselves from all that troubles of the WC.

F U * K

T H E

W O M E N S

C H A R T E R ! ! :mad:


There are so many fools still marries 2 or 3 times. They just cant fight loneliness.

[zan888]

I do agree women hv lost their natural role since cavemen time. I do wish i could stay home n just focus on the home, nurure my kids, be a loving wife. Now there are too many roles to fill n women cant juggle so maids came n increasing pressure on men to chip in on chores, grand parents havr to help etc. That is a whole new set of problem n everyone is tired n unhappy.

Nowadays having kids will often break down even strong marriages. Why? Cos the expectations are too high. Kids dont really need that much care but we over care them, until they are spoiled. Couple actually weaken their kids by over protecting and giving them too much. Many Sg kids lack independence.

[zan888]

There are so many fools still marries 2 or 3 times. They just cant fight loneliness.

I disagree. Its because we love the woman and hope we can make the woman happy by marriage but in reality once the woman achieve this goal, they relax already. Btw even being married you can still be lonely cos the partner is not in-sync with you. Marriage often create more problems than solve it. Just ask any married man or woman! haha

[JRthe6]

I disagree. Its because we love the woman and hope we can make the woman happy by marriage but in reality once the woman achieve this goal, they relax already. Btw even being married you can still be lonely cos the partner is not in-sync with you. Marriage often create more problems than solve it. Just ask any married man or woman! haha

That's why the smart ones stay single :D

[surbana]

Guess loneliness is the biggest factor which pull forward people to get marry...

[36SCE]

In this era and time and especially for Singapore...... only fools get married and place themselves at the mercy of the WC.

Pussies are so readily available in so many forms.... just find, fu*k & forget and save yourselves from all that troubles of the WC.



A good marriage with kids fulfill a different part of our soul and existence. Its not about great sex alone, although that certainly helps.

[HCKing]

Nowadays people are selfish and self centered because of the KS society.....

everyone has high expectation of everything. no wonder we r seeing so many long faces in sg. :D

[nikeguy]

Slowly look for the one, that will change your life not just your status. After Divorce this is what I keep in my heart. Look for ways to improve your life, more happier, richer, more time, enjoy your life as life is too short to stop n keep looking at the past. Look forward there are many great for you ahead. Take care.

[queeniegal]

I know a few of Caucasian man they don't mind having divorcee. Some are very rich too, the fate of the woman really changed.

One of my Caucasian friend, he is holding management post. Used to be super playboy till he was late 30s meet his current wife. He got married when he was ard mid 40s his wife got a 20 year old son. He turn to become super homely and yes man to his wife totally diff person.

Rare to have Asian guys accepting divorcee but quite common for Asian guy who is a divorcee to re-married,

[Atasbeng]

Sure...however my 2 princess also migrated together with my ex wife....Now left me alone here...

Count me into the club

[superdrill]

Sis EdyTa

Never give up. I am a divorcee with a 15 yo son, and if it gives you a little comfort, the same difficulty it is for men, but never give up.

I have had girlfriends in that past who are young and single and eventually came to the conclusion that it is a challenge for a young single women to be with a divorce man with a child and accept the child.

I am currently with a gf who is a divorcee herself with a 10 yo son, we accept each other;s child and the understanding we have over issues concerning single parents makes it even easier.

Never give up

[ProjectAlice]

A good marriage with kids fulfill a different part of our soul and existence. Its not about great sex alone, although that certainly helps.

I second that :)

[crood]

Guess loneliness is the biggest factor which pull forward people to get marry...

Can co habit without signing the papers. Free to come, free to go.

[36SCE]

Can co habit without signing the papers. Free to come, free to go.

This is what many men would like :p. But Asian women are more traditional and I believe many would like to have the security and status of marriage. I notice many youngsters are now open to "test drive" before marriage and this seems to be the new normal.

But once the lady hits late 20s or see her friends around her get married and have kids, then this is usually when marriage is requested or at least discussed
.

Marriage also does make sense from a family with kids perspective as it will be tough in our conservative society for kids to have unmarried parents on birth certs.

[Edyta]

Sis EdyTa

Never give up. I am a divorcee with a 15 yo son, and if it gives you a little comfort, the same difficulty it is for men, but never give up.

I have had girlfriends in that past who are young and single and eventually came to the conclusion that it is a challenge for a young single women to be with a divorce man with a child and accept the child.

I am currently with a gf who is a divorcee herself with a 10 yo son, we accept each other;s child and the understanding we have over issues concerning single parents makes it even easier.

Never give up

I am really happy for both of u. Its a rare find.
I gave up awhile back

[micmac888]

For the life of me, I really prefer divorcees (with kids) over single women. That air of maturity is a turn on. Am speaking for myself. Dun like giddy headed girls.

[kt88_2]

I am really happy for both of u. Its a rare find.
I gave up awhile back


Be happy good to be single or single parent.life the same, in fact more simpler in a way.

[cmelater]

There are so many fools still marries 2 or 3 times. They just cant fight loneliness.

Hearsay from a friend.

Marriage is a mistake and getting remarried is not learning from the earlier mistake.

Loneliness is self perceived. End of the day, we will all go alone. So, what if married or single. Its all the same. We are all born and meant to die some day, except earlier or later.

Its the media which has made loneliness appear like some frightening spectre. But, is it frightening? I think the hearts of (some) women are lagi more frightening than loneliness.

I don't mind facing the 4 walls alone, so long as there is no crazy woman chasing me to wake up 6 am to bring kid to school, bring home sufficient dough, nagged at to get kid to finish homework, coerced into visiting the extended family over cny..... and etc etc. Its worse than NS. :eek: Pardon me, if it sounds not "right" to any of the bros here.

[cmelater]

Count me into the club

Congrats!!! :D Welcome back to singlehood.

[cmelater]

I disagree. Its because we love the woman and hope we can make the woman happy by marriage but in reality once the woman achieve this goal, they relax already. Btw even being married you can still be lonely cos the partner is not in-sync with you. Marriage often create more problems than solve it. Just ask any married man or woman! haha

I definitely agree with your statement. Marriage leads to loneliness too, especially after a few episodes of damaging "civil war".

Its also the only war where the man gets to sleep with the enemy or the woman beds the enemy. :rolleyes:

[Edyta]

Hearsay from a friend.

Marriage is a mistake and getting remarried is not learning from the earlier mistake.

Loneliness is self perceived. End of the day, we will all go alone. So, what if married or single. Its all the same. We are all born and meant to die some day, except earlier or later.

Its the media which has made loneliness appear like some frightening spectre. But, is it frightening? I think the hearts of (some) women are lagi more frightening than loneliness.

I don't mind facing the 4 walls alone, so long as there is no crazy woman chasing me to wake up 6 am to bring kid to school, bring home sufficient dough, nagged at to get kid to finish homework, coerced into visiting the extended family over cny..... and etc etc. Its worse than NS. :eek: Pardon me, if it sounds not "right" to any of the bros here.

yes we all know we will leave alone. its the journey that counts. humans seek companionship thats v natural n it explains why some ppl would go for 2nd n 3rd marriages. it takes a strong will n a strong mind n enough distractions thru kids n career n hobbies to stay single aft divorce.

[Edyta]

Be happy good to be single or single parent.life the same, in fact more simpler in a way.

life is indeed more peaceful thats real n i really treasure it

[Edyta]

I know a few of Caucasian man they don't mind having divorcee. Some are very rich too, the fate of the woman really changed.

One of my Caucasian friend, he is holding management post. Used to be super playboy till he was late 30s meet his current wife. He got married when he was ard mid 40s his wife got a 20 year old son. He turn to become super homely and yes man to his wife totally diff person.

Rare to have Asian guys accepting divorcee but quite common for Asian guy who is a divorcee to re-married,

thats true saw this trend. think its mindset n culture. sg is still an ultra conservative place. go to any wet market u can gear those aunties gossips its no diff fr my grandma thinking. divorced women r viewed v negatively.

but well i made tht choice n i believe its for the good.i walk the path i choose. no alimony no nothing I am ok. i am at peace when I sleep. no more relationships again is also what I must accept. acceptance comes contentment then peace.

[ilwtmlabnn]

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

Whether a divorcee remains single for rest of his/her life, it very much depends.

For those in the younger age range like 20s to 30s with toddler, it maybe be quite hard to find someone else to be with. Marriage at that age is not just about the guy and girl, I feel that parents do have much influence as well in accepting their son's/daughter's other half. The fact that with a child, the other party must be prepared and be able to accept the fact that he/she is starting a married life with not just a partner, but also a child whom he/she must take responsibility for too. there will be a sudden transition from being single to not just a husband/wife, but also to a stepfather/mother and this is a huge step which not everyone can take as it concerns diffferent aspects ranging from financial stability to having to live with gossips or comments.

As for those in the older age range whereby the child/children have grown up, it may be easier for them to find a companion since caring for the child/children isnt much of an issue and probably when one is in 30+ or 40s, they do have more power over what they want to pursue in life and face less parental control. It is also common for divorcee to relate better to each other as well probably they have been through similar experiences.

Of course, like you mentioned, there are those who are lucky to find love again and there are such cases around although it's not the majority. It takes a big heart for one to accept the past of his/her other half. Yes, good looks do appeal to not just men, but to women as well. However, it's just a bonus, not a must and definitely not everything. Im sure there are still some who look for partners who are just pleasant looking and of good character. There is still hope and all is not lost I guess.

[Archerguard]

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside. :D

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

[crood]

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside. :D

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

How good are they? Any to intro me?

[Archerguard]

How good are they? Any to intro me?

they are generally independent in terms of their financial abilities and they turned down guys who pursued them gently. There are some high profile guys who tried to flaunt their wealth while some tried to date them to overseas but none works on them. So I could not intro to you since they are not emotionally and physically available.

one of them is exactly same as Edyta. She did not ask for even a single cent from the alimony. She just hopes that the husband be able to grow more maturely to look after himself well.

one of them fulfilled the wish of her husband to be with another woman. The husband got so guilty eventually and gave his wife whatever he could before leaving the family.

i guess the above two are just some examples. As for others who are still married, they are trying to pretend knowing nuts about their husband munching out there. Let's hope their tolerance level could be kept in control before it goes into negative.


hey dude, if you happen to read this thread, this posting, and you happen to be seating on a very high chair in one of the bank over here who happen to try to date a woman recently... then let me tell you that you had failed miserably in your approach using unethical means trying to date my friend. You know who you are. The feeling of rejection sucks right? :D

[coolmon]

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

[cmelater]

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

Social pressure and peer pressure are bs to me. What we see to today is a world.... made believe. Do we all believe in what the world represents? There is no real purpose in many things. Even the chinese belief of continuing the family name is a made to believe one.

Humanity is like a pothole in the middle of nowhere. If you can fit some other philosophy into it, it would easily become mainstream culture and custom. Basically, anythg else can be the new "social pressure".

My point then is, isnt is painful to live life walking on a pair of heels which were never meant for you? And then, isnt it worse if you have to walk these heels for the rest of your life? Live life as you and not someone or something because of social pressure. You dont have many years to be someone or something else which you are not. Life isnt a long time to spend ignoring what you want and yearn to be.

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

[MoJoe313]

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

[Edyta]

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside. :D

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

[Edyta]

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

haha ET! well we are not rare just tht we seldom disclose to others on our personal life. business contacts, colleagues n clients assumed I am swinging single i just go along with it.

[Edyta]

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

Social pressure and peer pressure are bs to me. What we see to today is a world.... made believe. Do we all believe in what the world represents? There is no real purpose in many things. Even the chinese belief of continuing the family name is a made to believe one.

Humanity is like a pothole in the middle of nowhere. If you can fit some other philosophy into it, it would easily become mainstream culture and custom. Basically, anythg else can be the new "social pressure".

My point then is, isnt is painful to live life walking on a pair of heels which were never meant for you? And then, isnt it worse if you have to walk these heels for the rest of your life? Live life as you and not someone or something because of social pressure. You dont have many years to be someone or something else which you are not. Life isnt a long time to spend ignoring what you want and yearn to be.

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

it takes alot of courage to say quit a marriage esp kids are involved.besides emotional there is also the practical side of keeping your wealth. it also has to be in a situation where its amicable no fighting in court for money or kids. last but not least the one who has the kids must have resources n means to bring them up well. that means stable n gd job n family support. its a big step to the unknown. but we adapt. i learn how to chg light bulbs, assemble simple furnitures etc
too many ppl don leave the comfort zone.

[Edyta]

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

haha ok i can organise if there are ppl who r keen

[Archerguard]

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

what a brilliant idea. :D

[Archerguard]

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

your words are kind. Assumption often leads to missed-opportunities. We hold no control over their thoughts. But we can definitely guard our own positive vibes.

so, are you well maintained yourself? :D

[wecloud]

I have an ex-colleague who was divorced, have a son, and she found another partner in life. It is not true that once divorced = game over.
It really depends on whether one is receptive to have another relationship.
In fact at a certain age, physical attractiveness is not the key anymore. Its more about communication, common interests etc..

[Edyta]

your words are kind. Assumption often leads to missed-opportunities. We hold no control over their thoughts. But we can definitely guard our own positive vibes.

so, are you well maintained yourself? :D

haha this is a difficult question. i can only say i exercise n do maintenance, as to how well i can only say i am happy n thankful with what i hv got. i prefer to the the cup half full then half empty.

[Edyta]

I have an ex-colleague who was divorced, have a son, and she found another partner in life. It is not true that once divorced = game over.
It really depends on whether one is receptive to have another relationship.
In fact at a certain age, physical attractiveness is not the key anymore. Its more about communication, common interests etc..

it has to do with your fate if I may use that word.

[coolmon]

haha ET! well we are not rare just tht we seldom disclose to others on our personal life. business contacts, colleagues n clients assumed I am swinging single i just go along with it.

Haha. I was only referring to people around me. Counting in for both sides siblings, relatives, friends and colleagues etc, there are only 4 divorce cases out of few hundred pairs. (Yes, colleges, believe it or not, out of the 4, 2 are my colleagues, 1 never mention about it but we just know. Power of gossip.)

But of course, how many are like me, who knows. I only talk about it here, because I can stay anonymous.

[coolmon]

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

.....

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

Thanks for the advise.

I think the dilemma is, current I am not myself. But if I'll to make a change, I'll hate myself. I would have chosen otherwise 10 years ago, when my children are still young and will not be too emotionally affected. But currently, this looks like the only option.

Event if today will the last day of my life, I think I'll still pretend that as if there were no problem from day 1. After all, I am leaving, why not let others continue to live in the paradox and have a good memory.

[Archerguard]

haha this is a difficult question. i can only say i exercise n do maintenance, as to how well i can only say i am happy n thankful with what i hv got. i prefer to the the cup half full then half empty.

hee... preferring or viewing the cup half full or empty indirectly relates to a person's attitude. As long you have a good attitude towards what life has for you, everything will be fine. Again, whether the cup is half full or empty, it's about who is paying for the next round. :D

so, what have you got? :D

[cmelater]

Thanks for the advise.

I think the dilemma is, current I am not myself. But if I'll to make a change, I'll hate myself. I would have chosen otherwise 10 years ago, when my children are still young and will not be too emotionally affected. But currently, this looks like the only option.

Event if today will the last day of my life, I think I'll still pretend that as if there were no problem from day 1. After all, I am leaving, why not let others continue to live in the paradox and have a good memory.

Bro, you are quite right. May be this pretension does help.

I left for overseas to unwind recently. I had many thoughts. One of which is that "what if there were kids?" and I did feel the same as you. Kids will surely be emotionally affected and then it will affect their later marriages. Its a scary thought.... What seems quite true is the extent to which children pick up their parents' character traits.

Good luck and all the best. Being a parent and a good one is never easy. As a friend was saying, there is no off-time from the day the kid is born. :(

[peanutbutterjel]

haha ok i can organise if there are ppl who r keen

Great thread. Serious thread in the forum. Kind of curious What's the age group here in this thread ? 20-30/30-40/40-50?

And To participate in the discussion, I offer my humble opinion. I think divorced people are able to find love again. You just have to get yourself out there. If you're not meeting people, the chance of meeting your soul mate may have to be your cai-fan handler. Haha. But our responsibility to take care of our kid gives us no time to explore dating again. Just have to wait until the kid is older probably 18 den we can have our life back. No choice. Our responsibility.

[peanutbutterjel]

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

Seems interesting. outing with or without kids ? Maybe I can join you ladies already.

[peanutbutterjel]

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

Same here. really got one word for it. Or 2 words la. SIBEI SIAN. haha. actually if we just give selflessly and don't care about the selfish ways of our partner then no problem la.. But can we tolerate the lack of fulfillment of duty and reresponsibilities from our partner as spouse and as a parent to the kid. Divorcee also got 2 kinds. 1 is end up being divorcee because he or she is the bo chap one so kenna divorce. The other one is kenna bo chaped so divorce.

[Rickey]

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher :(...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another :(...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

[Ngengheng]

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher :(...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another :(...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

Human never learn lessons because of lust and loneliness ...she can remarry 10th times and in the end still the same conclusion.

[hugs]

Just noticed this thread. Enlightening. Happy new year to TS and all.

[Edyta]

Great thread. Serious thread in the forum. Kind of curious What's the age group here in this thread ? 20-30/30-40/40-50?

And To participate in the discussion, I offer my humble opinion. I think divorced people are able to find love again. You just have to get yourself out there. If you're not meeting people, the chance of meeting your soul mate may have to be your cai-fan handler. Haha. But our responsibility to take care of our kid gives us no time to explore dating again. Just have to wait until the kid is older probably 18 den we can have our life back. No choice. Our responsibility.

i guess the 2nd chance club folks range from late 20s to 40s.

as for puting myself out there n hope is not something i would do. i meet enough people in the course of my work n i have propositions of all kinds that leads to sex which is not what i want. i dont wana rush into anything just to secure another mate its meaningless if there is no connection or emotional investment. I am prepared to be alone when I decided to leave my marriage. its just my personal circumstance n opinion, hope u r not offended.

[Edyta]

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher :(...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another :(...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

bro Rickey if life is that simple we would all be happier! as for Jamie i dont know all her stories on her 2 exes. i just hope her little daughter is ok.

[Edyta]

hee... preferring or viewing the cup half full or empty indirectly relates to a person's attitude. As long you have a good attitude towards what life has for you, everything will be fine. Again, whether the cup is half full or empty, it's about who is paying for the next round. :D

so, what have you got? :D

I have nothing just me :)

[Edyta]

Just noticed this thread. Enlightening. Happy new year to TS and all.

Happy new year to u too!

[Archerguard]

I have nothing just me :)

stay this way gorgeously always. Happy Chinese New Year to you. :D

[tarma69]

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know. ;)

[Soul_Reaper]

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know. ;)

You're only one year into the marriage..... wait another 6 years as the jinx 7th year is when most marriages breakdown.

[Nato17]

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know. ;)

Women who have had children in my opinion tend to have seen the circus and they know what to do most of the time...you are still a greenhorn to her. Think of this past year as you having gone through your BMT and just in passing out of your tri term OCS. The road is still long lei. She OC for a reason, while you just getting commissioned. :)

[tarma69]

You're only one year into the marriage..... wait another 6 years as the jinx 7th year is when most marriages breakdown.

Women who have had children in my opinion tend to have seen the circus and they know what to do most of the time...you are still a greenhorn to her. Think of this past year as you having gone through your BMT and just in passing out of your tri term OCS. The road is still long lei. She OC for a reason, while you just getting commissioned. :)

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know. :cool:

[Edyta]

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know. :cool:

i like your positive mindset. go for it i will cheer for u here.

[wecloud]

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know. :cool:

very happy for you to hear you found the person in your life! Not many people manage to find theirs. Wishing your marriage happiness!

[tarma69]

i like your positive mindset. go for it i will cheer for u here.

very happy for you to hear you found the person in your life! Not many people manage to find theirs. Wishing your marriage happiness!

Thank you for your encouragements. And I wish everyone here success in finding their soulmates, even if you are divorced. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.

I would like to take the opportunity to highlight here that choosing a divorcee with a child under her custody brings an extra challenge for me. Why? Firstly, I do not fancy kids. I find many of the kids nowadays are spoilt brats and the parent not willing to spare the disciplinary rod. Secondly, I can't imagine going through the sleepless nights of diaper changing like what my sister and most friends have gone through when the kid is born. :p Fair enough, when I met my wife back then, her daughter was already 8 so I'm glad I don't have to change diapers! Phew! And good thing is Tiger Mom has disciplined her daughter well so she is well mannered and behaved. But the daughter posed another kind of challenge for me - she is extremely introverted so it was tough for me to warm up with her, especially when I'm also an introvert myself! But I told myself I have to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to her... so I made every effort to play with her, coach her in her studies and small talk to her even tho at the back of my mind I'd rather just talk to my wife whom I was courting. Very slowly she started to open up by laughing at my silly jokes and telling me about how her day in school went etc. After a few months, she started holding my hands when we go out and the breakthrough came when one day out of the blue as we were playing and laughing she hugged me for no apparent reason and said, "Uncle, I love you!" My heart melted at that instance and no words could describe how I feel... Wife later told me that she has never said that to her own biological father before.

That day I learnt a very important lesson: Everyone deserves a 2nd chance in life, including the innocent children who are also victims of a marriage breakdown.

[Edyta]

Thank you for your encouragements. And I wish everyone here success in finding their soulmates, even if you are divorced. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.

I would like to take the opportunity to highlight here that choosing a divorcee with a child under her custody brings an extra challenge for me. Why? Firstly, I do not fancy kids. I find many of the kids nowadays are spoilt brats and the parent not willing to spare the disciplinary rod. Secondly, I can't imagine going through the sleepless nights of diaper changing like what my sister and most friends have gone through when the kid is born. :p Fair enough, when I met my wife back then, her daughter was already 8 so I'm glad I don't have to change diapers! Phew! And good thing is Tiger Mom has disciplined her daughter well so she is well mannered and behaved. But the daughter posed another kind of challenge for me - she is extremely introverted so it was tough for me to warm up with her, especially when I'm also an introvert myself! But I told myself I have to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to her... so I made every effort to play with her, coach her in her studies and small talk to her even tho at the back of my mind I'd rather just talk to my wife whom I was courting. Very slowly she started to open up by laughing at my silly jokes and telling me about how her day in school went etc. After a few months, she started holding my hands when we go out and the breakthrough came when one day out of the blue as we were playing and laughing she hugged me for no apparent reason and said, "Uncle, I love you!" My heart melted at that instance and no words could describe how I feel... Wife later told me that she has never said that to her own biological father before.

That day I learnt a very important lesson: Everyone deserves a 2nd chance in life, including the innocent children who are also victims of a marriage breakdown.
i can only say wow! your story is very sweet. u took a big step to know the 8yo gal n how she reciprocate is very touching.

as for kids being the victim its really depends on how the parents manage the situation. it also teaches the kids to have courage and live an authetic life. its pointless to live in misery n venting on the kids just coz u cnt take tht step to opt out.

[wittyman]

Happy new year to u too!

happy new year sis, just noticed this great thread :D