Help! Im an Introvert.

[mavsbs]

Hi guys out there. Please forgive me for posting this thread as it is not really related to commercial sex. I am currently in my mid twenties. I can say that I am quite decent and handsome looking. I am a very quiet and shy person. I need some dating tips and advice. I also envy my friends because they are like pros in this kind of things. And when I ask them how they do it. They just say that it comes naturally. I want to be like them. Please help me.

I had a liking for a particular girl for a very long time already. So last week I messaged her on facebook and told her I like her and also asked her out. She said ok and so we met. And our outing was an epic fail!!! Let me explain what happened.

We met last week at a shopping centre. The moment we met I was completely lost and I did not know what to say to her. I am not a good conversation starter. I always want the other party to get the ball rolling. Fortunately she started the conversation by asking me how am I and what I am doing currently. After that we went for dinner. I was feeling very shy and scared at the same time. The reason being this is the first time I am dating. I have never dated any girls before in my entire life. We were quiet most of this time while we were having dinner. She was starting to get bored as I did not talk to her. In my heart I was saying to myself " oh man wtf am I doing? I got to start talking". I felt like reaching to hold her hand and also to hold her by her waist. But again in my mind I was thinking "what if she doesnt like me to do that? What if I get rejected? I will feel damn embarass". I had fear and a lot of "what if's" questions in my mind. After dinner we just walked around the shopping centre without much conversation. After that we went home.

While I was on my way home I felt that I let her down. I was embarrased and jealous because all my friends can date girls and even get to kiss,hug,hold and bonk them during the first visit. Can bros out there please give me some tips? Can you guys also please teach me how to start a conversation( what questions to ask) without fear and also how to make a girl really have a liking for me?

[nfiaker]

Dear mavsbs,

I know how you feel, I am an introvert too.
There are many things I see in your post but I think there are a lot of books out there which can explain it better than I can.

Try this book: http://markmanson.net/books/models. I find that it is an honest way for a man to express himself to women, although might need to tweek it a little for the Singapore context.

Otherwise, the short answer would be to have more hobbies, make more friends while having those hobbies, and maybe something will happen from there. Even if nothing happens; relax, singlehood is fine nowadays, and I believe our more experienced bros here can tell you, you need to be relaxed to "get the girl".

Good Luck!

[Big Sexy]

u will do better after afew dating and ffs.. dont think of bonking them on your first date..

[Johnbass]

I'm also introvert.
Don't worry... Just date a few more...
Prepare what to say or do...
Practice makes perfect.

:D

[xuanz]

I'm also introvert.
Don't worry... Just date a few more...
Prepare what to say or do...
Practice makes perfect.

:D

now i finally see why...

[xuanz]

Hi guys out there. Please forgive me for posting this thread as it is not really related to commercial sex. I am currently in my mid twenties. I can say that I am quite decent and handsome looking. I am a very quiet and shy person. I need some dating tips and advice. I also envy my friends because they are like pros in this kind of things. And when I ask them how they do it. They just say that it comes naturally. I want to be like them. Please help me.

I had a liking for a particular girl for a very long time already. So last week I messaged her on facebook and told her I like her and also asked her out. She said ok and so we met. And our outing was an epic fail!!! Let me explain what happened.

We met last week at a shopping centre. The moment we met I was completely lost and I did not know what to say to her. I am not a good conversation starter. I always want the other party to get the ball rolling. Fortunately she started the conversation by asking me how am I and what I am doing currently. After that we went for dinner. I was feeling very shy and scared at the same time. The reason being this is the first time I am dating. I have never dated any girls before in my entire life. We were quiet most of this time while we were having dinner. She was starting to get bored as I did not talk to her. In my heart I was saying to myself " oh man wtf am I doing? I got to start talking". I felt like reaching to hold her hand and also to hold her by her waist. But again in my mind I was thinking "what if she doesnt like me to do that? What if I get rejected? I will feel damn embarass". I had fear and a lot of "what if's" questions in my mind. After dinner we just walked around the shopping centre without much conversation. After that we went home.

While I was on my way home I felt that I let her down. I was embarrased and jealous because all my friends can date girls and even get to kiss,hug,hold and bonk them during the first visit. Can bros out there please give me some tips? Can you guys also please teach me how to start a conversation( what questions to ask) without fear and also how to make a girl really have a liking for me?

Don't expect too much during first date bro(I assume first date la). What hold hands, kiss, hug and bonk, You better leave this part behind first. Since what you mention you really like her, shouldnt you be trying to know her more instead of thinking of those things.

Dating is like trying to know how one another. Not necessary date means done deal/sure become bf/gf. If you can say you are handsome here, I don't see a reason why you are lacking in confidence..let alone introvert.

You probably think of doing more things than what happened, thus you forget how to speak. Go to a date, trying to know a person more and not thinking of fucking her at the end of the day. If two person can gam, means got topic. No topic = buey gam

Thanks.

[KaniNababe]

Hi guys out there. Please forgive me for posting this thread as it is not really related to commercial sex. I am currently in my mid twenties. I can say that I am quite decent and handsome looking. I am a very quiet and shy person. I need some dating tips and advice. I also envy my friends because they are like pros in this kind of things. And when I ask them how they do it. They just say that it comes naturally. I want to be like them. Please help me.

I had a liking for a particular girl for a very long time already. So last week I messaged her on facebook and told her I like her and also asked her out. She said ok and so we met. And our outing was an epic fail!!! Let me explain what happened.

We met last week at a shopping centre. The moment we met I was completely lost and I did not know what to say to her. I am not a good conversation starter. I always want the other party to get the ball rolling. Fortunately she started the conversation by asking me how am I and what I am doing currently. After that we went for dinner. I was feeling very shy and scared at the same time. The reason being this is the first time I am dating. I have never dated any girls before in my entire life. We were quiet most of this time while we were having dinner. She was starting to get bored as I did not talk to her. In my heart I was saying to myself " oh man wtf am I doing? I got to start talking". I felt like reaching to hold her hand and also to hold her by her waist. But again in my mind I was thinking "what if she doesnt like me to do that? What if I get rejected? I will feel damn embarass". I had fear and a lot of "what if's" questions in my mind. After dinner we just walked around the shopping centre without much conversation. After that we went home.

While I was on my way home I felt that I let her down. I was embarrased and jealous because all my friends can date girls and even get to kiss,hug,hold and bonk them during the first visit. Can bros out there please give me some tips? Can you guys also please teach me how to start a conversation( what questions to ask) without fear and also how to make a girl really have a liking for me?

Seriously this could be a wrong place for you to seek opinion fr. As you can see, alot of guys here hv problem finding partners (hence the need to seek WL). :D
Well...the keyword here is FEAR. If you can remove this fear factor in you, then starting a conversation would not b a problem. Instead of asking questions why not you tell her more about yourself. It isnt a Q&A session what!

[KaniNababe]

I'm also introvert.
Don't worry... Just date a few more...
Prepare what to say or do...
Practice makes perfect.

:D

King of Parrot!:D
*Claps*

[staminadick]

Bro why don't start to chat with Babe. She is a lady. My point is get girl as adviser!!

I also cmi and is the type of guy babe say cannot find then go find WL.

However with girls I bo feeling is easier to talk to :)
Now I many lady fren I bo feeling one.
Sometimes girl I have feeling one and have problem with them I will have lady fren help.

Cheers and all the best

[hugs]

Hi TS,

Nthg wrong with being an introvert. If it is not your style to talk like all your extrovert friends, you don't have to copycat them. Just find your own style. Be relax with yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Ask yourself what kind of respond do you want to receive from your date. If you want her to smile at you, start smiling at her first. If you want her to feel relax, you must be relax first. Do not suggest sex or anything related to sex on any dates. Let the girl make that move. You can attract her to make that move, thru experience. Girls are attracted to a man for different reasons and may want sex for different reasons. Don't think too much over failed dates and don't give up dating over failed dates but just be yourself on the next date, and soon you will figure out what works.

my 2 cent.

[Johnbass]

King of Parrot!:D
*Claps*

New name? Simi lai eh?
:confused:
:D

[mavsbs]

Thanks for all your feedback. But I also need to fuck. Every man has needs. I Don't want go find wl because it waste of my money. And there are no true feelings involved with a wl.

[Gump]

You told her you like her and asked her out. She agreed to go out with you. What does it say? :D

This sort of thing cannot help one. Psychologists say interest is inversely related to confidence. Interested in that girl -> your confidence low. Not interested in that girl -> confidence sky high.

On another note, I like the nick KaniNababe hehehe.

[demonhunter]

Hi guys out there. Please forgive me for posting this thread as it is not really related to commercial sex. I am currently in my mid twenties. I can say that I am quite decent and handsome looking. I am a very quiet and shy person. I need some dating tips and advice. I also envy my friends because they are like pros in this kind of things. And when I ask them how they do it. They just say that it comes naturally. I want to be like them. Please help me.

I had a liking for a particular girl for a very long time already. So last week I messaged her on facebook and told her I like her and also asked her out. She said ok and so we met. And our outing was an epic fail!!! Let me explain what happened.

We met last week at a shopping centre. The moment we met I was completely lost and I did not know what to say to her. I am not a good conversation starter. I always want the other party to get the ball rolling. Fortunately she started the conversation by asking me how am I and what I am doing currently. After that we went for dinner. I was feeling very shy and scared at the same time. The reason being this is the first time I am dating. I have never dated any girls before in my entire life. We were quiet most of this time while we were having dinner. She was starting to get bored as I did not talk to her. In my heart I was saying to myself " oh man wtf am I doing? I got to start talking". I felt like reaching to hold her hand and also to hold her by her waist. But again in my mind I was thinking "what if she doesnt like me to do that? What if I get rejected? I will feel damn embarass". I had fear and a lot of "what if's" questions in my mind. After dinner we just walked around the shopping centre without much conversation. After that we went home.

While I was on my way home I felt that I let her down. I was embarrased and jealous because all my friends can date girls and even get to kiss,hug,hold and bonk them during the first visit. Can bros out there please give me some tips? Can you guys also please teach me how to start a conversation( what questions to ask) without fear and also how to make a girl really have a liking for me?

The only way to teach you is to show u .

you ask her out , I come along and I demonstrate to you ..

simple as that , Ai Mai ?

:D

[lagonda]

Hi TS,

Nthg wrong with being an introvert. If it is not your style to talk like all your extrovert friends, you don't have to copycat them. Just find your own style. Be relax with yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Ask yourself what kind of respond do you want to receive from your date. If you want her to smile at you, start smiling at her first. If you want her to feel relax, you must be relax first. Do not suggest sex or anything related to sex on any dates. Let the girl make that move. You can attract her to make that move, thru experience. Girls are attracted to a man for different reasons and may want sex for different reasons. Don't think too much over failed dates and don't give up dating over failed dates but just be yourself on the next date, and soon you will figure out what works.

my 2 cent.

Still waiting on your leads on how to instill feelings

[KaniNababe]

Thanks for all your feedback. But I also need to fuck. Every man has needs. I Don't want go find wl because it waste of my money. And there are no true feelings involved with a wl.

Put the F word aside first and concentrate on winning her heart. If you have no patience yet do not want to waste $$$ then u can jolly well pick any horny girl in SBF for a free session.
Ops did you mention feelings? then please be patient. Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. The process is bitter but its fruit is sweet.
If you can't talk face to face, start by sending her messages , showing your love and concerns..

[mavsbs]

Put the F word aside first and concentrate on winning her heart. If you have no patience yet do not want to waste $$$ then u can jolly well pick any horny girl in SBF for a free session.
Ops did you mention feelings? then please be patient. Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. The process is bitter but its fruit is sweet.
If you can't talk face to face, start by sending her messages , showing your love and concerns..

Sbf got horny girl to fuck for free? Which section?

[KaniNababe]

Sbf got horny girl to fuck for free? Which section?

Ask ur mama

[Johnbass]

Sbf got horny girl to fuck for free? Which section?

You are not Introvert lah...
You are Pervert.
:D

[prettymannequin]

You are not Introvert lah...
You are Pervert.
:D

Hahahahah this one I agree sia. Cannot even date then wanna score already.

If you really like a girl, you'll wanna get to know her more instead of getting into her pants straightaway. Most girls your age probably won't be fooled by you. Good luck to you la TS.

[mavsbs]

Lol I really epic fail!!! So what should I do to get to know the girl more? What kind of questions should I ask?

[ladylove]

ts, firstly kudos to you for making the move to ask her out. it's definitely a leap considering that you're an introvert.

however, do not expect that you are going to get to bonk or make out on the first date. you are just going to scare her away! i know some men do but these guys are seasoned players in the game, either that or the girl is also out to have some fun. unless 你玩得起 then yeah go ahead. if you want to bonk at the same time have true feelings involved then you got to be patient man, make the girl feel comfortable first, earn her trust.

i feel that the best way to get to know someone is to listen, and be genuinely interested in getting to know her. girls are not stupid they will know when a man only wants to get into her pants. since you are already an introvert like you said then being a great listener will be a good start. try asking her about her school, her job etc, ask her if she enjoys it and so on. this will seem like you care about her life and will make her open up to you, try to find topics that she will want to complain or rant about stuff to you. maybe in this way you'll have more things to talk about. good luck dude

[princeofpersia]

speaking from my experience of having dated many many girls (i go dating for fun rather than for serious relationship or expecting cheong), the most important thing to do is be yourself. never act or lie.

making sure the girl is comfortable is more important than physical contact. walk close to her, lead the way, watch out for surroundings, behave like gentleman - all this will be noticed more than just holding hand or waist.

as for what conversation topic, there are so many.. choose la from this list which one is less sensitive issues for you and the girl: childhood, family, education, work, tv/films, sports, food, current affairs, technology, even weather also can if you run out of ideas!

talk about the things you are interested in which you normally share with family and friends. if she seems bored then move on to different topic. if she start a topic that you have no interest or knowledge, no need to pretend that you are interested or smart - she will find out quickly.

however if your aim is to cheong her after date then sorry i don't have magic potion for you.

[nfiaker]

Bro mavsbs,

There is a reason why SBF is such a popular website and there are a lot of big FL forums for you to choose, and that is because WL is a quick and easy transaction!

If you really want to know a girl, and slowly get her to bed, it will take time. Also must see if she likes you or not, and please stick to only girls who are above the legal age!

How much time you might ask? Days if you are good,(Edited: and if she wants to) sometimes never if you keep harping over that ONE girl.

There are many girls out there, no need to stick to one regardless if you are only interested in screwing her or wanting more. Go out and meet more people, find out what you like, and find out what they like, then take it from there.

If not, WL provides a quick and easy release, wham bam, thank you mdm.

[JustLearn]

I'm totally same as you TS, except I'm in 30s already. Worst right? Well I tried to crack jokes and use my lame side to cover up my introversion. I don't care if the girls hate me or like me, as long as they don't find me boring can already (the awkward silent is my worst enemy).

All my life I'd failed at the get-to-know stage. My friends and colleague advised me to go accelerate, I bang the wall and crashed. Then they advised me to go slow, I path my way slow and carefully and the opportunity flew away. So you see, no matter what I do, what method I used, I still fail.

I am still figuring out how to not be shy and how to find the correct method to use and hit the sweet spot. Good luck mate.

[arsenal_84]

speaking from my experience of having dated many many girls (i go dating for fun rather than for serious relationship or expecting cheong), the most important thing to do is be yourself. never act or lie.

however if your aim is to cheong her after date then sorry i don't have magic potion for you.

yup, dating for fun is real nice without being intimate.
though the likelihood of being friend zone is really high but who cares if my intention is not to get a gf in the first place.