What should i do?

[MrBaller]

Hi to all brothers and sisters,

Currently i'm in a dilemma, here goes my story, appreciate any constructive comments.

I met this girl as a colleague last year (Lets call her A). Initially i wasn't interested in any relationship, however as time goes by, i started to develop feelings for her.

Fast forward to this year, I knew i would need to make my feelings known to her. Hence i targeted it at April as her birthday falls during this period. All was well as i started to do a bday celebration for her. I also asked a couple of friends of hers to join in(whom i know). I baked a cake for her and made chocolate roses. After that night, i send her home with a small gift. Inside there was a thank you card (with a hint of how i wish tonight would be a recurring one). And yea, i did not verbally confess to her.

After that day, i tried to make further arrangements for outings, however A suggested after her exams. A few days later (12th), i confessed to A (thru text), however till now i haven gotten any replies. The next day, i actually asked her friend whether are there for any pointers for me to take to woo A. But the friend mentioned that she had someone in mind so...... i tried to probe further but to no alas citing privacy. The friend suggested that i still can be friends with her. The last msg to A was that all this might be too much for her to accept, but i need to put my feelings across.

I'm at my wits end. Moreover, today i visited a temple and got a bad lot for this issue.

That is my story currently, i hope that you guys can give some insight on this. I know i missed the chance to act on the celebration night and i confessed thru text which is a big no no. We wont be seeing each at other for now at work as we are part-timers.

Questions:
1) What is running through the girl's mind? By not replying to me, my friends cited 2 possible scenarios; either she dunno how to reject me and save this friendship or she is still considering me.
2) To what extent does a friend's info can be trusted?
3) Facing rejection, how can the two maintain as friends? Because deep in me, i will find it hard to be a friend outside while the inside of me......:(

[chanster]

Hi to all brothers and sisters,

Currently i'm in a dilemma, here goes my story, appreciate any constructive comments.

I met this girl as a colleague last year (Lets call her A). Initially i wasn't interested in any relationship, however as time goes by, i started to develop feelings for her.

Fast forward to this year, I knew i would need to make my feelings known to her. Hence i targeted it at April as her birthday falls during this period. All was well as i started to do a bday celebration for her. I also asked a couple of friends of hers to join in(whom i know). I baked a cake for her and made chocolate roses. After that night, i send her home with a small gift. Inside there was a thank you card (with a hint of how i wish tonight would be a recurring one). And yea, i did not verbally confess to her.

After that day, i tried to make further arrangements for outings, however A suggested after her exams. A few days later (12th), i confessed to A (thru text), however till now i haven gotten any replies. The next day, i actually asked her friend whether are there for any pointers for me to take to woo A. But the friend mentioned that she had someone in mind so...... i tried to probe further but to no alas citing privacy. The friend suggested that i still can be friends with her. The last msg to A was that all this might be too much for her to accept, but i need to put my feelings across.

I'm at my wits end. Moreover, today i visited a temple and got a bad lot for this issue.

That is my story currently, i hope that you guys can give some insight on this. I know i missed the chance to act on the celebration night and i confessed thru text which is a big no no. We wont be seeing each at other for now at work as we are part-timers.

Questions:
1) What is running through the girl's mind? By not replying to me, my friends cited 2 possible scenarios; either she dunno how to reject me and save this friendship or she is still considering me.
2) To what extent does a friend's info can be trusted?
3) Facing rejection, how can the two maintain as friends? Because deep in me, i will find it hard to be a friend outside while the inside of me......:(

Go back to school

[Inceptionist]

She don't know how to reject you or she is just shunning you after your confession.

If you want to continue being friends, you need to change your approach. Try a light hearted or humorous approach

[porscheclub]

Love is a strange chemical reaction connecting two beings together. Your actions might be overwhelming for her so much so that she's avoiding you now. Yes she's scared because rejecting might destroy you but if she meets you then you'll
get the wrong idea so avoiding is the best option.

Sometimes when the right person appears, a simple smile is all that it takes.

So don't worry practise more and find the right lady. Meanwhile play it cool & she might come looking for you ;) If not there's plenty of fishes in the ocean

[Tai_zi21]

All in my pov only

First she is not considering u at all,so pls stop giving urself false hope anymore! Ask urself would u totally avoid the guy if u consider him? She is trying to save the friendship cos u r a mr nice guy tat all

It very normal for gal to have someone in mind isn't it? Even she dun doesn't mean she will consider or accept u anyway

Last answer to ur ques forget abt her,i assume u r still young look for other target and move on with ur life

[MrBaller]

Thanks to all replies till now

@Inceptionist: how can i change my approach when i had showed my cards?

@porscheclub: 'Your actions might be overwhelming for her so much so that she's avoiding you now. Yes she's scared because rejecting might destroy you but if she meets you then you'll get the wrong idea so avoiding is the best option.' I understand the rationale behind this, its always seems to be something wrong either ways, just as much i'm waiting for her reply yet i fear of rejection. What to make of if she still doesn't reply. I dont want to seem to be preesing hard against her.

@Tai_zi21: the 3rd qn is there hence i'm prepared for the worst. How can not replying = saving friendship? If i were to wait it out, its scary to think that this might turn to anger which i hope doesn't happen.

[Koiz]

..met .. girl .. colleague last year .. April.. her birthday.. started .. celebration.. couple of friends ..baked a cake .. chocolate roses. .. send her home with a small gift.

After that .. tried to make further arrangements for outings, however A suggested after her exams. .. asked her friend .. friend mentioned .. she had someone in mind .. visited a temple and got a bad lot..


Questions:
1) What is running through the girl's mind?
2) To what extent does a friend's info can be trusted?

Hope following useful (otherwise ignore):

1) She is interested - probably needs time to consider. Ask her when the exam is over. Wish her all the best for the coming exam. Do not disturb her until exam over. Move on if no progress after "exam period" - clear decision then.
2) Never trust her friend's info 100%. Her friend could be interested in you / out to sabotage. Also, unlikely that a sweet/nice looking girl will have no boyfriends.
3) "visited a temple and got a bad lot" - trust you own feelings, no need to be so superstitious.

Opinions may/will often differ - no need to agree.

All the best.

[prettymannequin]

Just be a friend, continue treating her like you do to others. That's the only way to make things less awkward for now!

[queenstar]

Just be a friend, continue treating her like you do to others. That's the only way to make things less awkward for now!

That Right support you:D

[Wintermelontea]

Go chase other gals...leave her alone for now as her heart is with the other fella...

there should be other gals for you de...guys normally have more than 1 gal in sight/radar...but need time to lock-on since missiles all used up in the first target.

good luck.

[hoho99]

After that day, i tried to make further arrangements for outings, however A suggested after her exams. A few days later (12th), i confessed to A (thru text), however till now i haven gotten any replies. The next day, i actually asked her friend whether are there for any pointers for me to take to woo A. But the friend mentioned that she had someone in mind so...... i tried to probe further but to no alas citing privacy. The friend suggested that i still can be friends with her. The last msg to A was that all this might be too much for her to accept, but i need to put my feelings across.

I'm at my wits end. Moreover, today i visited a temple and got a bad lot for this issue.

Kekeke, seeing your post, you must be a very young boy sibo?

People preparing for exam, you go drop bomb on her:eek: You so desperate to tell her you are not a sensitive guy who cannot accomodate her timing or showing her you so eager to bring her to bed?:p

By the way, you already ask 神 and got a lot but you still wanna ask samsters, so you must have held a very high regards for us:rolleyes:

Perhaps you can consider tidings to ah Sam and he might bo bi your points to be higher in this forum:D

[Johnbass]

I also share with you my story...
Last time got this samstress, she never liked me since Day 1.
Rejected me many times.
But slowly she starts to reply me and say hi.
Now we are BEST friends.
:D

Moral of the story... Must learn to take rejections gracefully.

*Paiseh, if I exaggerated some parts*

[maxsee]

Time will heals all wounds....getting your heart broken is like quitting drugs...the initial part is extremely uncomfortable....but each passing day would make things better.....:D:D:D

[MrBaller]

@ Koiz: yea, i intend to leave her to chill. Her friend herself got a bf, out to sabo? i hope not, the girls are close and i places great trust in those whom i know.

@ prettymannequin: had to be one, but currently we are in a stationary position.

@ Wintermelontea: my circle of female friends is very small. plus getting to know someone now doesn't seems to be natural.

@ hoho99: yes you may say the timing isn't correct, but firstly i already dropped a hint on that night. I believe that if there isn't prompt follow up, girls might think i'm not genuine in what i had expressed. sometimes when one is down, imo all sources of opinions are welcomed

@ johnbass: comforting to hear a positive end to it.

[saabking]

Love is a strange chemical reaction connecting two beings together. Your actions might be overwhelming for her so much so that she's avoiding you now. Yes she's scared because rejecting might destroy you but if she meets you then you'll
get the wrong idea so avoiding is the best option.

Sometimes when the right person appears, a simple smile is all that it takes.



是你的，就是你的。
不是你的，不要抢！
人之所以快乐，不是因为得到的多、而是因为计较的少

that is what i learn from master samster ;)

[betlobang]

Hi to all brothers and sisters,

Currently i'm in a dilemma, here goes my story, appreciate any constructive comments.

I met this girl as a colleague last year (Lets call her A). Initially i wasn't interested in any relationship, however as time goes by, i started to develop feelings for her.

Fast forward to this year, I knew i would need to make my feelings known to her. Hence i targeted it at April as her birthday falls during this period. All was well as i started to do a bday celebration for her. I also asked a couple of friends of hers to join in(whom i know). I baked a cake for her and made chocolate roses. After that night, i send her home with a small gift. Inside there was a thank you card (with a hint of how i wish tonight would be a recurring one). And yea, i did not verbally confess to her.

After that day, i tried to make further arrangements for outings, however A suggested after her exams. A few days later (12th), i confessed to A (thru text), however till now i haven gotten any replies. The next day, i actually asked her friend whether are there for any pointers for me to take to woo A. But the friend mentioned that she had someone in mind so...... i tried to probe further but to no alas citing privacy. The friend suggested that i still can be friends with her. The last msg to A was that all this might be too much for her to accept, but i need to put my feelings across.

I'm at my wits end. Moreover, today i visited a temple and got a bad lot for this issue.

That is my story currently, i hope that you guys can give some insight on this. I know i missed the chance to act on the celebration night and i confessed thru text which is a big no no. We wont be seeing each at other for now at work as we are part-timers.

Questions:
1) What is running through the girl's mind? By not replying to me, my friends cited 2 possible scenarios; either she dunno how to reject me and save this friendship or she is still considering me.
2) To what extent does a friend's info can be trusted?
3) Facing rejection, how can the two maintain as friends? Because deep in me, i will find it hard to be a friend outside while the inside of me......:(

Put it this way. I bet you and her are in your early 20s. Girls of that age will either reject u flat or just avoid you totally in which your case is the latter form.

You are definitely not in her "to be" list. You are too rush and you can never savage this "rs" by changing your approach. You have been given the death penalty.

What you can do now is to just apps her once in awhile and if she replies, good on you. If she doesnt, just move on. It is simple to know the importance of you in her heart, watsapp last seen is always the best evidence. One time ignore: maybe overlook your apps. 2 time ignore: maybe busy. 3 time ignore: death sentence.

You are still young, when i was your age, we sweet talk our way through or just be some kinky notti boys. Many girls dont like MR GOOD man.

Make cake?? hmmm i rather bring her to club and drink then send her home.

[Mr_don_juan]

Questions:
1) What is running through the girl's mind? By not replying to me, my friends cited 2 possible scenarios; either she dunno how to reject me and save this friendship or she is still considering me.
2) To what extent does a friend's info can be trusted?
3) Facing rejection, how can the two maintain as friends? Because deep in me, i will find it hard to be a friend outside while the inside of me......:(

She is not comfortable with you because you have a deep desire for her. Probably she has someone in mind, or she doesn't know how to reject you.

Being a romantic is a big mistake with a girl you're not already intimate with. Romance (baking cakes and chocolate roses) should be a reward when already in a relationship and feelings are already established.

At this point of time, she's not gonna answer your calls or replying your Smses. If you try to find her in person, she's probably going to try and avoid you. She just felt awkward and uncomfortable about that whole situation (your desire is too strong).

If you tell her "I love you", she probably run away if u keep go chasing after her. You came on her too strong and you need an answer from her. Even now you want an answer. You have to eliminate desire for her only then you will see the light. You are not trying to be anything and you are not trying to achieve anything when you date her, if you can achieve it there is hope.

[Wintermelontea]

@ Wintermelontea: my circle of female friends is very small. plus getting to know someone now doesn't seems to be natural.



doesn't seemed natural??:eek:

now not 7th month leh...

getting to know someone or a stranger is as natural as it can be if you are sincere in wanting to know that person as who he/she is. no ulterior motives or bad thoughts etc.

always start from friends and move upwards. sometimes, one door closed and another door awaits. you just never know what will happen! :)

for instance, do you visit trade shows/events? recently, i went to ADEX (diving event) at MBS and gotten to know a few nice people...lots of SYTs and gals around. friendly bunch and exchanged a few name cards/numbers...this is natural bcos i wanted to keep in touch and know more about diving activities etc.

what's not natural is if i keep hounding them despite my disinterest in the dive activities...:p

[hoho99]

@ hoho99: yes you may say the timing isn't correct, but firstly i already dropped a hint on that night. I believe that if there isn't prompt follow up, girls might think i'm not genuine in what i had expressed. sometimes when one is down, imo all sources of opinions are welcomed

Wah , you really reply me ah, guess must reply to you properly too:D

Well the girl did not cut off contact nor give you an outright NO means she is not going to let you out of her life. So congrats, you are not a stranger to her.:p

But if you have a chance to go to the market with your mom b4, ie like buying fish, you will surely chance upon a time when your mom wants a little longer time to decide upon buying certain things, chance are unless someone influence her, she likely will not buy. So the longer she took to ans you, the more likeness of you getting a negative ans.:o

So since she won't regard you as a stranger nor care for you like a lover, very likely you will be "FriendZone":eek:

So perhaps you may start to bribe all her friends to put in good words for you or spend your effort on someone who is more interested. Good luck

[MrBaller]

Yesterday she replied rejecting me :(

@ maxsee: i'm better as of now.

@ saabking: ur quote seems to be very 神圣. true indeed.

@ betlobang: its in my nature that i'm a nice guy. maybe that's too bad. as for whatsapp, she disables her 'last seen'. i'll occasionally txt her as per normal.

@ Mr_don_juan: to ur romantic view, i guess to each his own. i'll go the extra mile for that girl whenever i can.

@ wintermelontea: currently i'm into gym and stuff, guess minimal girls are into this area. and thanks for the door thingy, will keep a lookout for these doors.

@ hoho99: be friends for now lo, bo bian. as for bribing her friends, i like that idea but i think they would rather stay neutral as there is another guy.

guys, thanks for all the comments. i'm feeling better right now. shall start anew with new goals (going back to gym and getting silver for IPPT) and be friends with her AS OF NOW :rolleyes:
how can i up points?

[betlobang]

haha, no point being the Mr Good man.

At your age, many girls like naughty boys with average look and nice body (minimum criteria)

[Ken79]

TS bro, its clear she dont want to accept u as a bf or potential bf, infact she must be feeling so awkward about seeing u again thus avoiding u not just physically but even on text msg.

best thing for u to do is dont contact her for a few months, then try again but start with casual chat.

many gals are scared when the guy is overly initiative, kinda overwhelming especially when they feel they didnt know u well enough yet and certainly not ready.

[MrBaller]

@ betlobang: how not to be nice sia? it's in me..

@ Ken79: wa a few months, hmm.. whenever such things occur, i tend to think of 2 opposite extremes for a course of action. not contacting her for a few months, may help in eliminating the awkwardness but otherwise i might lose her for good

[porscheclub]

I understand the rationale behind this, its always seems to be something wrong either ways, just as much i'm waiting for her reply yet i fear of rejection. What to make of if she still doesn't reply. I dont want to seem to be preesing hard against her.

Oh well. Since she's dropped da bomb, just be cool about it, no risks how to gain? Plenty of targets out there & aim for gold will you?

[Mr_don_juan]

@ Mr_don_juan: to ur romantic view, i guess to each his own. i'll go the extra mile for that girl whenever i can.


You go the extra mile if you are in a relationship with her or you’ve slept with her. You can be romantic when only if she’s attracted to you and you’ve established emotional connection with her.

If she like you, anything you do is romantic and if she doesn't like you anything you do appear desperate and clingy. Being romantic in the beginning is ineffective when you have not established any kind of connection with her. Instead you should get back being playful and hit on her, not being serious, all you have to do is just having fun and poke her. Treat her like little girl.

[MrBaller]

Oh well. Since she's dropped da bomb, just be cool about it, no risks how to gain? Plenty of targets out there & aim for gold will you?

She's my gold =O I guess most people will have this thinking for their current target

[oxeso]

She's my gold =O I guess most people will have this thinking for their current target

Maybe true..but there r mils n bils of potential targets out there. Keeping ur options open wouldn't hurt, bro.. Sometimes, Persistence is a burden. Persist at d right time, Now it's not. Gd luck..:)

[JohnnyLong]

Hello mate,

Just my 2cents...She is not ready to accept you for various reasons...Perhaps she is seeing someone else, or has another man in mind?
The world is vast...you will find your lady :)
Patience my friend

[johnthiomas]

My 2 cents..

Might be hard to accept, but Yeah..you're right that what you did was too much for her..u came across as some korean romantic wussy and the emotional outpouring is too much for her to take..because...bad news - she doesn't feel or got attracted to you in the first place. Maybe your physical outlook or personality is just not her cup of tea.

What should you do? Sever all ties with her. Learn to accept that a man & a woman will never be good friends with each other. Save all your effort to save your so called friendship with her because..sad but true..she was never sincere in the first place to want a genuine friendship with you & it will only bring you more heartbreaks if you tread down this road.

My advise is to call her out for one last time, be a man with pride that a woman will look up to & tell her straight in the eye about your feelings for her..how strong & deep your infatuation & desire for here and that you want nothing more than to be given a chance to prove to her that you are the right person to walk through this journey of life together with her. tell her that you will really cherish the chance..if she agrees to give it to you. if not, you will be the big man & make things easy for her. You will walk away from her life and forget her from that moment on.

THEN..WITHOUT waiting for an answer, turn away, take a deep breath and walk away from her...knowing deep inside your heart that you will not contact her anymore and you will forget here from now on.

If a she calls you after a few days, good for you..if not just stick to your guns, forget about her and move on. A man has to look forward. At least you have proven to her that with or without her, you are going to live your life as happily and resourceful as ever, because you are a real man who is independent of the acceptance of others for happiness. Trust that with this, my friend, you have earned her respect.

Good Luck!

[johnthiomas]

And stop asking about her from her friends. Be a man, ask her yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7sx32alzeE&feature=kp