wanna make baby but no married

[San Guo]

Hi everyone..want some advise pls.
What if a couple wanna have baby but don want to married or register..
what are the difficulties they will face.
Thanks !

[demonhunter]

Smart move .... If things doesnt work out , you dont get to lose half .

But remember to support your child .

:D

[Johnbass]

Hi everyone..want some advise pls.
What if a couple wanna have baby but don want to married or register..
what are the difficulties they will face.
Thanks !

Then baby's birthcert - father/mother's names put who?
Not family unit (in SG context) also not entitled to baby bonus and all the subsidies thingy.
Kid grow up will get ostracized...
Not sure abt other difficulties.

:confused:

[Hasan]

The difficulties will come in abundance.... But if both don't give a hoot abt society... I guess you don't need to worry so much.... On problem I think is registering the child's not so sure of the procedure... As Bro demonhunter said take care of the child...;)

[maxsee]

Are you sure the girl is alright to make baby with you without getting married?? The girl would definitely be at a huge disadvantage if you decided to walk out of their life one day....

All in all it is to the guy's advantage if the woman willing to do this...other then the baby bonus etc....nothing much to stand to lose as a guy...:D:D:D

[Stewardess]

Hi everyone..want some advise pls.
What if a couple wanna have baby but don want to married or register..
what are the difficulties they will face.
Thanks !

You want to be like Cristiano Ronaldo and Irina Shayk is it ? :confused:

It might turn out to be a smart move, but do not allow the child to suffer.

[oxeso]

Call me a conservative..
For a couple to even consider tat, i say they r not ready & dun deserve to be parents. It's plain selfishness.
My 2 cents..

[San Guo]

Thanks and appreciate to all responded !

[Johnbass]

Thanks and appreciate to all responded !

So what's your final decision?
Unless u already Piak 1st Talk later liao?

:cool:

[MissTan]

bro

Should be marriage first then have baby

[hamsapkwai]

Smart move .... If things doesnt work out , you dont get to lose half .

But remember to support your child .

:D

and can sell the baby too, make some money :p

[hikosan]

Why you wanted to have a baby without marry in the first place? Sad to say I in this situation now. The kid live with her mom. Her birth cert has my name as father. I do pay minor child maintenance on my own accord. She will visit me weekly without her mom. I always tell others no need to rear a cow if you want to drink milk.

Adv
No go thru baby nonsense if you know what I mean.

Disadv
Few girl will accept your status.

[Big Sexy]

your child will then be qualified to be called a "Bastard".
Is that what you are really looking for?

Hi everyone..want some advise pls.
What if a couple wanna have baby but don want to married or register..
what are the difficulties they will face.
Thanks !

[porscheclub]

Don't bring a child to this world & suffer because of you two fools.

Practise birth controls for fuck sake!

[Babyrexx]

If the TWO of U are not ready for this responsibility. Dun be a Smart Ass and think that Giving birth to a Baby is like adopting a Pet Puppy. So when both of U are tired of each other n Bored of the Baby. What happens next? Always put yourself in the Shoes of those whom U would like to Harm n think from their prospective. Dun live with regrets.

[RagingMogi]

It's not so much about the parents, if that's what you seriously want, then simply be prepared for the stigma that the child may be carrying until you are married. Having a child before marriage is not particularly uncommon now, simply less accepted in Singapore.

Nonetheless, it's simpler to wait till you're both ready for marriage before having a kid helps both financially, mentally and emotionally.

[esssinine]

its a modern world nobody cares about such things anymore. girls go and have unprotected sex to be a single parent like the recent case in the news .

some even look for suitably intelligent n goodlooking donors for artificial insemination.

so what ifu are a child out of wedlock? u still get to live a normal life who the hell cares what others think .;)

at least your child have both parents only thing is that the sequence of events is a bit not in order

so screw it go do wat u like

[San Guo]

Again thanks all above opinions and comments and bombardment..APPRECIATED!

[nextview]

your child will then be qualified to be called a "Bastard".
Is that what you are really looking for?

Nice post make me laugh for 2nd time today.

"Bastard child"

[bbmapple]

What of it's the lady who wan this arrangement, not the guy??

[Wintermelontea]

SG is not so supportive nor forgiving a society unlike the States or some other EU countries...please re-consider even if it isn't the "wishful" thinking on your part.

Update us ya?

[Botakhead]

It is always easier to fuck and forget, but if you fuck to get a child without any compromise to be a pair of responsible adults, why do it on purpose?

Who suffers the most out of this arrangement? The child. And the child have to face this consequence forever because of 2 idiots who are not married but want to have children, for fun iszit?

Even those who are married whether willingly or because of 'shot-gun' then get married, the child or children also suffers because they the 'so called' parents are not responsible in the children's upbringing, especially those that just throw the kid to ah kong/ah ma to look after.

If you want to have good intention to make baby/babies, please be a responsible adult and help to see that the child grows up properly in a warm and loving family.

[Skarlett0]

You're gonna regret.. I gave birth to my baby thinking that things would probably work out with her father despite the fact that he is a married man. I thought things will fall into place when baby arrived but hell no I was wrong. Now my baby has to carry the "illegitimate" on her back for th rest of her life. Because her birth father was an asshole coward.

Ps: having my baby wasn't planned. It was an accident. And everytime I hear "bastard" my heart somehow feel the pain. Please don't put an innocent child through this pain. Wake up.

[Botakhead]

You're gonna regret.. I gave birth to my baby thinking that things would probably work out with her father despite the fact that he is a married man. I thought things will fall into place when baby arrived but hell no I was wrong. Now my baby has to carry the "illegitimate" on her back for th rest of her life. Because her birth father was an asshole coward.

Ps: having my baby wasn't planned. It was an accident. And everytime I hear "bastard" my heart somehow feel the pain. Please don't put an innocent child through this pain. Wake up.

Sorry that your child was brought into this world in this manner, be strong, have faith, endure all hardships that alone will make her a better person in her future. Of course you've got to give her your selfless motherly love, only you she'll survive. My heart goes out to you both.

Cheers, dun worry be happy.

[RusticKun]

Bro, you didn't state your partner's situation or yours. So I am going to assume both of you are not married..
I am going to state some actual things so Bros please don't bomb me for it.
I am not advising him to do the "wrong" or "right" thing.

Legally, there is no issue. Both of your names can be on the birth cert.
Socially, honestly speaking, in modern times, less impact unless both ur families and friends are more traditional. (I didn't say NO impact.)
However, bearing in mind that the our gvm is very family nucleus bias, you are going to lose out on a lot of benefits for NOT getting married.
Housing is going to be an issue definitely, unless you are very rich.
Benefits for tax, child care, CDA etc...

If either one of you is married..
Once you conceived the child, adultery is on the charges.
Unless you are already separated.
But you still can declare the child as yours in the birth cert if you wish to do so.

Myself being divorced, I will say something, getting married is very easy.
To get divorced is one hell of a pain.
There are tons of legal paperwork, separation period, counselling and social backlash.. It is hell here in this country..
I wasn't divorced recently and not due to adultery so I wouldn't understand the current situation totally, but I had some friends involved in difficult situations as well.

That being said, Good Luck Bro !
Hope you find what you are looking for, you can PM me if you need more details, hope I can help you.

[San Guo]

Legally, there is no issue. Both of your names can be on the birth cert.
Socially, honestly speaking, in modern times, less impact unless both ur families and friends are more traditional. (I didn't say NO impact.)
However, bearing in mind that the our gvm is very family nucleus bias, you are going to lose out on a lot of benefits for NOT getting married.
Housing is going to be an issue definitely, unless you are very rich.
Benefits for tax, child care, CDA etc...

If either one of you is married..
Once you conceived the child, adultery is on the charges.
Unless you are already separated.
But you still can declare the child as yours in the birth cert if you wish to do so.

Myself being divorced, I will say something, getting married is very easy.
To get divorced is one hell of a pain.
There are tons of legal paperwork, separation period, counselling and social backlash.. It is hell here in this country..
I wasn't divorced recently and not due to adultery so I wouldn't understand the current situation totally, but I had some friends involved in difficult situations as well.

That being said, Good Luck Bro !
Hope you find what you are looking for, you can PM me if you need more details, hope I can help you.

Thanks buddy for bringing up very useful Points !!!
You sure birth cert can put both name without ROM ??

[San Guo]

Housing is going to be an issue definitely, unless you are very rich.
Benefits for tax, child care, CDA etc...

Childcare and cda affected in what way ?? Can elaborate Thanks

[Johnbass]

Eh TS, your thread 1 week old liao... You still asking how and what today.

Don't wait till baby come out, you still dunno what to do.

Just call MSF, formerly known as MCYS to get assistance, or find out more.
"MCYS was restructured to become the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF)."

Good luck to you.
:cool:

[ah rat]

Don't wait till baby come out, you still dunno what to do.



Pastorthat time u go and deliver the baby :D

[Skarlett0]

Thanks buddy for bringing up very useful Points !!!
You sure birth cert can put both name without ROM ??

You can. I was given the option to put child's birth father name. I chose not to. But your child will still be illegitimate.

NO CDA, NO BABY BONUS. Cos your child will still be considered frm a single parent family despite name is in birth cert. key to it is the marriage.

FYI, http://sg.theasianparent.com/so-you-want-to-be-a-single-mom-here-are-15-things-you-should-know/

See point 1. Your child will be illegitimate. Your partner/gf will have to spend money to adopt her own birth child in order to legalize the status of the child in Singapore.

[Skarlett0]

Sorry that your child was brought into this world in this manner, be strong, have faith, endure all hardships that alone will make her a better person in her future. Of course you've got to give her your selfless motherly love, only you she'll survive. My heart goes out to you both.

Cheers, dun worry be happy.

Thanks dude for your very kind words. It's not easy to not worry but I always try, for my baby. Just want people out there to know that it's not easy to be a parent especially when they had a choice. Thanks anyway, cheers.

[RusticKun]

Yes, birth cert can put both names without ROM.

As for the childcare subsidies along with Child Development Account.
Please read more below.

http://www.babybonus.gov.sg/bbss/html/index.html

http://heybaby.sg/index.html


Bro, Please think twice before making any decision.

[vanram]

Yes, birth cert can put both names without ROM.

As for the childcare subsidies along with Child Development Account.
Please read more below.

http://www.babybonus.gov.sg/bbss/html/index.html

http://heybaby.sg/index.html


Bro, Please think twice before making any decision.



1. It is true, you can put both names without ROM. You have to swear to it at ICA that you are the father of the child. This is to show that the child is legitimate. When there is no father's name, the child becomes illegitimate and you have to adopt your own child.

2. You can change the add on your IC before you register the birth, so that it seems that both of you reside at the same add.(This is a temporary measure, you can reverse the process the next day)

3. This will make things easier on the child in future when she doesn't need to explain why her parents stayed at different locations at the time of her birth.

4. You can claim all baby bonus and claim all tax reliefs.

5. Making maintenance payments is between the both of you and is not a necessity.

I went thru all of this, my child out of wed lock is in primary two. The mother has since bought a BTO flat with both their names. I attend to both their needs regularly. She wanted the child and I agreed.

Example: When she needed help to apply for the BTO flat. When she needed help with renovations for the new house, I handled everything. When we enrolled the child for K1 and primary school. I attend all school activities including meet the parents' sessions. We keep in touch on a daily basis.

I am married and have a family of my own.
I still share actively in this forum and Yes, I still have fun.

This is not an easy endeavour and you must think very carefully before embarking on such a lifelong commitment. A lot of lives will be affected if you don't maintain your level of commitment.

Bringing a child into this world is not a matter to be trifled with.
You must be prepared for parenthood and all its consequences/responsibilities and also the impact of society at large, to your unique situation.

[San Guo]

You can. I was given the option to put child's birth father name. I chose not to. But your child will still be illegitimate.

NO CDA, NO BABY BONUS. Cos your child will still be considered frm a single parent family despite name is in birth cert. key to it is the marriage.

FYI, http://sg.theasianparent.com/so-you-want-to-be-a-single-mom-here-are-15-things-you-should-know/

See point 1. Your child will be illegitimate. Your partner/gf will have to spend money to adopt her own birth child in order to legalize the status of the child in Singapore.

Yes, birth cert can put both names without ROM.

As for the childcare subsidies along with Child Development Account.
Please read more below.

http://www.babybonus.gov.sg/bbss/html/index.html

http://heybaby.sg/index.html


Bro, Please think twice before making any decision.

1. It is true, you can put both names without ROM. You have to swear to it at ICA that you are the father of the child. This is to show that the child is legitimate. When there is no father's name, the child becomes illegitimate and you have to adopt your own child.

2. You can change the add on your IC before you register the birth, so that it seems that both of you reside at the same add.(This is a temporary measure, you can reverse the process the next day)

3. This will make things easier on the child in future when she doesn't need to explain why her parents stayed at different locations at the time of her birth.

4. You can claim all baby bonus and claim all tax reliefs.

5. Making maintenance payments is between the both of you and is not a necessity.

I went thru all of this, my child out of wed lock is in primary two. The mother has since bought a BTO flat with both their names. I attend to both their needs regularly. She wanted the child and I agreed.

Example: When she needed help to apply for the BTO flat. When she needed help with renovations for the new house, I handled everything. When we enrolled the child for K1 and primary school. I attend all school activities including meet the parents' sessions. We keep in touch on a daily basis.

I am married and have a family of my own.
I still share actively in this forum and Yes, I still have fun.

This is not an easy endeavour and you must think very carefully before embarking on such a lifelong commitment. A lot of lives will be affected if you don't maintain your level of commitment.

Bringing a child into this world is not a matter to be trifled with.
You must be prepared for parenthood and all its consequences/responsibilities and also the impact of society at large, to your unique situation.


Thanks for useful useful info and effort typing so much in details !
Very Appreciated!
Many many Thanks again!