Web of Lies and Deceit

[Kimchi1001]

I'm out of here. Best wishes to all of you.

[simifly]

Yah, u definitely deserve a better guy.

Get over him and move on, its better that u knw now than later.

U will be expecting this if u move on...

http://evidencebasedliving.human.cornell.edu/files/2012/01/traffic_jam.jpg

[Sandunes]

i think you handle the situation very well.
it is pretty hard for outsiders to gauge the level of your relationship.

Most girls will create a scene letting go the frustrations of betrayal.
I think your relationship lack communication whereby you mentioned both of you are busy with work.
Perhaps during this period of time, whereby he has expressed his affections, but you have ignored him, making him to look for other alternatives to let go his steam.

Have a good talk with him and see whether to carry on with this relationship,to look for someone better. Ladies sixth sense on this are quite strong to be honest.

Good luck. :)

[Kimchi1001]

@Simifly @Sandunes, thanks to both of you. I have since left the guy. Just sharing my story here to vent my disappointment. Hopefully people who are going through the same experience will pick up a lesson or two.

@Sandunes, during the time we were both busy we still went out, talked and spent time together. There wasn't any hint whatsoever that there was anything wrong since we were still having fun. We just did not sleep together.

[justl00king]

Your bf do not know how to treasure u.

U deserve better...move on.

[Johnbass]

Time heals everything.
Good thing you discovered earlier, not later.
Meanwhile, don't do anything on impulse.
I did... many years back... kinda... went skydiving.
Luckily I made the right choice.

:cool:

[IAmAwesome]

Time heals everything. Good thing you discovered earlier, not later.


This absolutely right, as you move on you will find someone much better

[nextview]

jerk are worthless you time.

there are plenty of tree in the forest, select wisely

take care :)

[HappyOwl]

I have since left the guy. Just sharing my story here to vent my disappointment. Hopefully people who are going through the same experience will pick up a lesson or two.



Sis. Kimchi1001, have you ever thought about what could be the possibilities and causes that resulted in your disappointment:confused:

[hamsapkwai]

The elderly uncle said, "I do no mean to meddle but who is this guy?"
"He is my boyfriend, uncle", I replied.
The uncle offered to turn off his engine while we wait. I must have sat there for 30 minutes or so shaking. Finally, the uncle said, "Miss, I think you've seen enough. He is not going to come out of that flat till later. I better drive you to your place now."

On the drive to my place, the uncle gave me his words of wisdom. He said that I seem like an accomplished, respectable woman. Why would I want to have a relationship with someone who hangs out in pubs and meets women late at night? As I was getting off the cab, he said "I know you are hurt but pray about it. You seem like a good person. You deserve better."

we normally dont hear much good things about cab drivers but give this man a Tiger.

and get yourself together , this jerk of yours made it very easy for u to leave him. and good that it happened now than later. count your blessings

[Kimchi1001]

Guys, thanks for your support, encouragement and affirmation that I made the right decision. Really counting my blessings.

Yes, I have thought about the possible reasons. I think because we've been going out for so long, we fell into a routine. We also both got busy with work (at least I was. Thought he was too but apparently, he was busy with something else). During this time, I also put on some weight but that should not be a reason for someone to love you less and start cheating on you. He was losing his hair too and growing a beer belly but I didn't love him any less.

Really appreciate the cab driver's concern. I paid him extra and made sure I covered the time he spent sitting in the cab with me. Yes, we seldom hear good things about cabbies but there are good ones out there. :-)

[sammyboyfor]

He was losing his hair too and growing a beer belly but I didn't love him any less.


His deteriorating appearance probably caused him some distress and he needed confirmation that he was still attractive to the opposite sex.

His shenanigans provided the affirmation that he was still a stud. :D

[Kimchi1001]

Outta here. :-)

[pploftheworld]

Guys, thanks for your support, encouragement and affirmation that I made the right decision. Really counting my blessings.

Yes, I have thought about the possible reasons. I think because we've been going out for so long, we fell into a routine. We also both got busy with work (at least I was. Thought he was too but apparently, he was busy with something else). During this time, I also put on some weight but that should not be a reason for someone to love you less and start cheating on you. He was losing his hair too and growing a beer belly but I didn't love him any less.

Really appreciate the cab driver's concern. I paid him extra and made sure I covered the time he spent sitting in the cab with me. Yes, we seldom hear good things about cabbies but there are good ones out there. :-)

hi Kimchi1001 ,

after reading you post , the guy is not worth your time. the time you took to dug out all those info , wouldnt it be better spent with someone who is worth. i would say that do move on from the guy. all the best !

[Johnbass]

Eh Sis...
So you broke up liao or still with him now?
Btw...whatsapp can spy one? How?
I ask for other samsters...

:D

[Kimchi1001]

Thanks all!

[simifly]

Sis, care to share how u check on him while u are away?

[Kimchi1001]

I embarked on a fishing expedition again. I know some of you will say … what for? You already know that the guy is cheating on you but I thought to myself, one last proof and that's it!

I pretended to be one of the girls he hooked up with from a year ago. I sent a message supposedly addressed to all my contacts informing them of my new number. Soon enough there was a response from him saying he's been quite busy with work and asked when it was possible to meet. Please note that this happened during the period when things were supposedly okay between us.

Then I thought what if he calls the girl, he will find out that it's a hoax. So I told him that it was a mistake. He said it was a coincidence since he knew someone with the same name. Then I went for the kill. I started flirting with him. Soon enough he was being risqué with his messages and was asking me if we can meet. I baited him some more, reeling him in until I got all the proof I needed. I pretended to be a sexually deprived woman who just wanted to play online. The sexting according to him was so steamy and he has never had anything like that in a long time. Idiot! Of course it was steamy! He was sexting with me. I knew what to say because I knew what buttons to press and what he wanted. He insisted that we should meet but I told him to give me time to think about it as I was in the middle of working out my current relationship. He attempted to call once but I told him not to as my little girl was with me. (this is all part of the story that i put together to make the plot more believable. I don't have a child). In the meantime, the REAL me continued to be the loving gf, not dropping a clue whatsoever that I knew what he has been up to.

One Saturday at 6 in the morning, my alter ego got a message from him asking her if she wants hot sex. He said he just got back and spent the night getting a massage and humping an escort. Mind you, this was the morning after we had dinner and drinks. It's either he went out again after he took me home or he's just portraying himself as the stud. I played along and spent a couple of hours sexting with him. I would on occasion text him from my other number and pretend that all is nice and dandy between us. He got his fix a few times that morning just from sexting with a person he hasn't even met. He sent photos of his privates and asked me to do the same. I told him I could not send mine on that day as it was the time of the month.

With all the evidence I gathered, I took stock of myself and our relationship and made one of the most painful decisions of my life. I know that it is not proper to end a relationship with an email but that's what I did. I did not want to hear his voice again lest I'd be tempted to take him back again. I just sent him a short message telling him that I know the truth and it is over between us. He tried to see me and get in touch with me but I stood my ground and did not budge. I've had enough!

I took a one month holiday traveling and did my version of eat, pray, love. I have since been loving myself and healing a little bit more each day.

Thanks to all of you for reading my long story. I know I have been stupid to have allowed him to hurt me over and over. But hey, we all learn from our mistakes. I am just thankful that I got out of it and have given myself the chance to put my life back together. I hope that by sharing this, people who are going through the same thing will find courage to walk away from toxic relationships and start all over again.

[Kimchi1001]

hi Kimchi1001 ,

after reading you post , the guy is not worth your time. the time you took to dug out all those info , wouldnt it be better spent with someone who is worth. i would say that do move on from the guy. all the best !

Hi pploftheworld,

In hindsight, I realised that I did waste time being Sherlock when I knew that he was not worth it but we all do stupid things. I learned my lesson the hard way. Thankfully I am in a much better place now.

[Wintermelontea]

I won't say how I did it (top secret. tricks of the trade :-))


nice and wicked. you are a pro in this.

[Lamborghini]

I realised that I did waste time being Sherlock when I knew that he was not worth it but we all do stupid things. I learned my lesson the hard way. Thankfully I am in a much better place now.

Allow me to share a short story with you.

My ex girlfriend was cheating on me. Obviously, I found out. Here's the best part. Her friends, whom were all females, agreed it was ok to cheat as our relationship was on the rocks. How awesome is that ?

Yes, you should be thankful you are in a better place now. Take care. :)

[Kimchi1001]

nice and wicked. you are a pro in this.

Hi there,

I actually edited that part. I have shared some tips with someone via pm. :-) Yeah, come to think of it I should have been a private investigator.

Cheers!

[Kimchi1001]

Allow me to share a short story with you.

My ex girlfriend was cheating on me. Obviously, I found out. Here's the best part. Her friends, whom were all females, agreed it was ok to cheat as our relationship was on the rocks. How awesome is that ?

Yes, you should be thankful you are in a better place now. Take care. :)

Hi Lamborghini,

It is not okay to cheat even when your relationship is already shaky. If she wants out then she should have just told you. You know what they say, birds of the same feather flock together. Obviously she and her friends are the same bad species. Sadly there are girls who also behave badly.

Hope you have moved on yourself. Take care. :)

[simifly]

Hi there,

I actually edited that part. I have shared some tips with someone via pm. :-) Yeah, come to think of it I should have been a private investigator.

Cheers!

So who's that lucky someone?

Thats life, today's failure is to prepare yrself for tomorrow's success.

Make sure u really let go this relationship before u start another.

Cos yr future guy may have a hard time earning yr trust.

Remember not to bring any burden from this failed relationship into yr new one.

Its not fair at all to yr future guy, with his gf peeping at his phone or emails behind him.

If u wan, openly ask him to share yrs and his.

[Sandunes]

she might be one of the CSI team on EDMW. dun play play.. :D

[simifly]

she might be one of the CSI team on EDMW. dun play play.. :D

Yah, never underestimate woman when they are in heat.

Be it sex or emotions :D:D:D

[Sandunes]

Yah, never underestimate woman when they are in heat.

Be it sex or emotions :D:D:D

I wonder if any bros try to pm her to be her new guy.
She ain't no simpleton.

All the best in her new relationship, whoever it is then. :D

[simifly]

She ain't no simpleton.

Yah, not a simple lady with this phrase in one of her post in Adult discussion.

TIP: H81 branches in town do not take foreigners but those in the suburbs do.

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=10600124&postcount=20

I will be thinking that she's a male chiongster...

Or a lady from Oversea(maybe korea?)

[Sandunes]

Yah, not a simple lady with this phrase in one of her post in Adult discussion.

TIP: H81 branches in town do not take foreigners but those in the suburbs do.

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=10600124&postcount=20

I will be thinking that u are male chiongster...

My gawd.. most of us are, else we will not be here, we will be in either SGforums or EDMW.
And that post is like.. wow.. i will not dare to try for the first time meeting a stranger. Maybe that's her experience of how she wanted to be treated? lol

Footnote: Dun Drink and Drive. :D

[karoosel]

I embarked on a fishing expedition again. I know some of you will say … what for? You already know that the guy is cheating on you but I thought to myself, one last proof and that's it!

I pretended to be one of the girls he hooked up with from a year ago. I sent a message supposedly addressed to all my contacts informing them of my new number. Soon enough there was a response from him saying he's been quite busy with work and asked when it was possible to meet. Please note that this happened during the period when things were supposedly okay between us.

Then I thought what if he calls the girl, he will find out that it's a hoax. So I told him that it was a mistake. He said it was a coincidence since he knew someone with the same name. Then I went for the kill. I started flirting with him. Soon enough he was being risqué with his messages and was asking me if we can meet. I baited him some more, reeling him in until I got all the proof I needed. I pretended to be a sexually deprived woman who just wanted to play online. The sexting according to him was so steamy and he has never had anything like that in a long time. Idiot! Of course it was steamy! He was sexting with me. I knew what to say because I knew what buttons to press and what he wanted. He insisted that we should meet but I told him to give me time to think about it as I was in the middle of working out my current relationship. He attempted to call once but I told him not to as my little girl was with me. (this is all part of the story that i put together to make the plot more believable. I don't have a child). In the meantime, the REAL me continued to be the loving gf, not dropping a clue whatsoever that I knew what he has been up to.

One Saturday at 6 in the morning, my alter ego got a message from him asking her if she wants hot sex. He said he just got back and spent the night getting a massage and humping an escort. Mind you, this was the morning after we had dinner and drinks. It's either he went out again after he took me home or he's just portraying himself as the stud. I played along and spent a couple of hours sexting with him. I would on occasion text him from my other number and pretend that all is nice and dandy between us. He got his fix a few times that morning just from sexting with a person he hasn't even met. He sent photos of his privates and asked me to do the same. I told him I could not send mine on that day as it was the time of the month.

With all the evidence I gathered, I took stock of myself and our relationship and made one of the most painful decisions of my life. I know that it is not proper to end a relationship with an email but that's what I did. I did not want to hear his voice again lest I'd be tempted to take him back again. I just sent him a short message telling him that I know the truth and it is over between us. He tried to see me and get in touch with me but I stood my ground and did not budge. I've had enough!

I took a one month holiday traveling and did my version of eat, pray, love. I have since been loving myself and healing a little bit more each day.

Thanks to all of you for reading my long story. I know I have been stupid to have allowed him to hurt me over and over. But hey, we all learn from our mistakes. I am just thankful that I got out of it and have given myself the chance to put my life back together. I hope that by sharing this, people who are going through the same thing will find courage to walk away from toxic relationships and start all over again.

kudos to you, TS! I was/am still in the same boat. Caught my whore monger of a husband and so far has given him a couple of chances already, i do not know if I can forgive him next time. So far he has *been* faithful since I last caught him.. as far as i know. When things would end up falling apart because of his addiction to whores, at least i can tell myself that I tried to hold on to our family. For the sake of my daughter who I do not intend to raise having a cheating father, I will most likely end up leaving him.

Do share some tips with me too, if you may :)

[Johnbass]

Hi there,

I actually edited that part. I have shared some tips with someone via pm. :-) Yeah, come to think of it I should have been a private investigator.

Cheers!

Eh... Why never share with me?
Btw, share what?
:D

[Lucifer666]

Woman can do things that is out of a guy imagination. They are very resourceful and very good in CSI if they wanted too.

[alexandergrey]

happened to me too once

went out with a girl for 2 1/2 years

almost proposed to her

she cheated on me with my own buddy (during the last 3 months of me being with her)


what did I do? Kicked her out of my apartment, sold off the apartment, left the country, here I am now in Singapore

[Johnbass]

Boy cheats on Girl...
Girl cheats on Boy...

You folks should form a support group... maybe sparks will fly?
:D

[Kimchi1001]

nice and wicked. you are a pro in this.

Thanks. You get creative when you want to know the truth. :-)

[Kimchi1001]

Yah, not a simple lady with this phrase in one of her post in Adult discussion.

TIP: H81 branches in town do not take foreigners but those in the suburbs do.

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=10600124&postcount=20

I will be thinking that she's a male chiongster...

Or a lady from Oversea(maybe korea?)

It's past 12mn and I am laughing so hard. I am female. I got to know all these info when I was doing my snoop work. I found out that the ex bonked a Thai girl at H81. So what did I do? I called H81 and pretended to be a foreigner. Never underestimate a woman. As they say hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. Good night gentlemen. :)

[Kimchi1001]

Boy cheats on Girl...
Girl cheats on Boy...

You folks should form a support group... maybe sparks will fly?
:D

Yeah, sounds like an idea. What do we call the group? We Hate Cheaters Club? Cheated Anonymous? :)

[Kimchi1001]

Woman can do things that is out of a guy imagination. They are very resourceful and very good in CSI if they wanted too.

Thank you. I will take that as a compliment. :)

[Kimchi1001]

My gawd.. most of us are, else we will not be here, we will be in either SGforums or EDMW.
And that post is like.. wow.. i will not dare to try for the first time meeting a stranger. Maybe that's her experience of how she wanted to be treated? lol

Footnote: Dun Drink and Drive. :D

1. What is EDMW?
2. The post in the adult forum was not a personal experience. I know because I've been around long enough and have seen these things happen.
3. Moral of the story: If there's something in your relationship that you cannot work out anymore, be honest. Break up if you must rather than string your partner along. It is unfair. Believe. Karma is real. :)

[HappyOwl]

Good night gentlemen. :)

Sis. Kimchi1001 agony, great to have you around.

I will pm you within the next 57 hours 45 minutes and 32 seconds.

Good night. :)

[Johnbass]

Yeah, sounds like an idea. What do we call the group? We Hate Cheaters Club? Cheated Anonymous? :)

Maybe some breakup songs to go with your breakfast?
http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2013/01/m-taylor-swifts-best-break-up-songs-from-joe-jonas-to-jake-gyllenhaal.html

There are still a few good men around... Hope you find one.
:D

[karoosel]

Yeah, sounds like an idea. What do we call the group? We Hate Cheaters Club? Cheated Anonymous? :)

Cheated Anonymous sounds good. If there is such group here, I'd love to join! It helps to talk about this kind of thing while maintaining anonymity.

[firejalan]

Thank you for sharing..
It is really very enlightening..
Glad u have move on too..

[Stewardess]

Great PI work. :cool:

[sammyboyfor]

Men were designed to spread their seed as far and as wide as possible.

If wives did not object to men doing what their instincts tell them to do, there would be no need to cheat.

A man could simply gather all his willing partners in one place for an almighty orgy.

That's how they used to do it at the height of the Roman empire before Christianity came up with this ridiculous concept of adultery. :)

[Kimchi1001]

Read the following article on a different website just now:
http://www.divaasia.com/article/29023

Just a word of caution to all men who have gone astray or are planning to go astray. Be careful when you go on a prowl. You'll never know who you might pickup online. Do not underestimate the power of a woman's creativity and resourcefulness.

[Ahxi]

He called the woman an incessant, compulsive, lying, ef-fing bitch.

Lol. Nice way of using the F word.

[Johnbass]

Read the following article on a different website just now:
http://www.divaasia.com/article/29023

Just a word of caution to all men who have gone astray or are planning to go astray. Be careful when you go on a prowl. You'll never know who you might pickup online. Do not underestimate the power of a woman's creativity and resourcefulness.

Wah... My wifey also reads "Simply Her".
*quickly change passwords and delete browser history*

Just kidding...
:D

[Kimchi1001]

Wah... My wifey also reads "Simply Her".
*quickly change passwords and delete browser history*

Just kidding...
:D

I better keep my mouth shut. I'm giving away too many tips on how to catch a cheater. ;)

[Johnbass]

I better keep my mouth shut. I'm giving away too many tips on how to catch a cheater. ;)

Aiyo Sis, have some faith in mankind leh...
Come sbf doesn't mean will cheat on partner right?
Or wrong?
:D

[Summerhillt]

happened to me too once

went out with a girl for 2 1/2 years

almost proposed to her

she cheated on me with my own buddy (during the last 3 months of me being with her)


what did I do? Kicked her out of my apartment, sold off the apartment, left the country, here I am now in Singapore

wtf.. what happened to you and your buddy?

[Sandunes]

1. What is EDMW?
2. The post in the adult forum was not a personal experience. I know because I've been around long enough and have seen these things happen.
3. Moral of the story: If there's something in your relationship that you cannot work out anymore, be honest. Break up if you must rather than string your partner along. It is unfair. Believe. Karma is real. :)

1.EDMW stands for Eat Drink Man Woman under the $$$$$$$$$$$$ subforums.
2.That means you are not SYT liao.. lol.
3. I slightly agree with you on this. Everyday eat chicken rice will sian also, that's why need to spice up abit, sometimes ayam penyet, roast chicken, nasi ayam, 3 bei chicken, etc. Else the relationship is more like 2 singles with FWB relationship which will soon be on the downhill.

[karoosel]

1.EDMW stands for Eat Drink Man Woman under the $$$$$$$$$$$$ subforums.
2.That means you are not SYT liao.. lol.
3. I slightly agree with you on this. Everyday eat chicken rice will sian also, that's why need to spice up abit, sometimes ayam penyet, roast chicken, nasi ayam, 3 bei chicken, etc. Else the relationship is more like 2 singles with FWB relationship which will soon be on the downhill.

regarding item #3: with all due respect, if a person knows he/she would want to "spice things up a bit" from time to time then he/she shouldn't commit into a relationship. Cheating is betrayal of trust. There is no excuse.

[Sandunes]

regarding item #3: with all due respect, if a person knows he/she would want to "spice things up a bit" from time to time then he/she shouldn't commit into a relationship. Cheating is betrayal of trust. There is no excuse.

i think u misunderstood my point. spicing things up is more like adding life in the relationship.

[karoosel]

i think u misunderstood my point. spicing things up is more like adding life in the relationship.

oh ok. now i understand your point. sorry for the misunderstanding. it's just that ive been reading a similar excuse on this forum over and over again.

[Sandunes]

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/azbOB4B_700b.jpg

just a simple pic which some girls may try to read too much into simple things.

[Sugarbabe3331]

@Sandunes. Hahaha! Good one. If only men would speak their minds rather than have women make second guesses :) Communication is the key.

[real_king]

not all wives are willing to listen.

[Johnbass]

just a simple pic which some girls may try to read too much into simple things.

Steady sia. LOL
:D