Just broke off

[ryuggen]

I just broke off with my gf and am having difficulties in moving on. I know I have to move on, just sooner or later.

There is a void in my heart that needs to be filled. Whenever I come face to face with this void, it just tears me apart. I'm trying to keep a healthy state of mind, but its proving difficult.

I dont wish to put my attention on FL, WL, etc. How can I fill this void in my heart? Is there possibility of companship instead of relationship? I'm just abit tired from my previous relationship.

[wonderwhy]

Bro

Always remember your girl is not the best you will ever have

If you are not going to snap out of this sadness. You going to miss that better girl

If you are just feeling horny. Just find a wl. If not. Then just go focus on your job or hobbies

I just broke up too.

[MaMister]

Go Golden Mile, enter one of the disco order a beer, find a thai girl and get KC, it will spice up your life

[maxsee]

Time heals all wound....eventually u will get over it and move on with your life....:D:D:D

And dun forget to reflect back on the relationship itself and ask yourself why it failed...

[prettymannequin]

Everyone has gone through this phase and are healing as well...

I don't think you should be looking for companionship. Gotta be comfortable single, and up your game once you feel better. Good luck and recover well bro.

[flowbow]

Go Golden Mile, enter one of the disco order a beer, find a thai girl and get KC, it will spice up your life
That's just gonna get him more wounded... Now only heartache, if he does heed your advice he's gonna be getting even more heart break plus a huge hole in his pocket in time to come!

[Santaclaws]

When the relationship between you and a woman ends, it is natural for you to still think about her. Whether you choose to focus on the good times or the bad it doesn't really matter, even though when you choose to focus on the bad you tend to not want her back.

Thinking about you ex, no matter what, is something that no one likes doing. Yet, in order to forget about her, there really are only two things that will cause it to happen and only one of those do you have any type of control over.

The first reason, which you don't have any control over, is time. Obviously as more time passes, the less and less you will find yourself thinking about your ex. You might not ever forget her, yet all that really means is that the two of you shared a lot of moments in time together and that is always a good thing.

The second reason, which you do have control over is seeing other women. When the two of you broke up it created a void in you life and you mind is telling you exactly what you need in order to fill it. However, since you ex was the last person to fulfill those needs it keeps giving you a picture of her, the closer you look at the pictures and thoughts in your mind of her, the sooner you will find what it is you really need,

Surprisingly, when another woman fill's some of those needs, not all of them, the thoughts of your ex will gradually disappear. In the end, thinking about your ex is a certainty of life, what you choose to do with these thoughts is all that matters.

[ryuggen]

Thanks guys for your advice.

I'm not looking for another girl to satisfy the physical. My most troubling is the void in my heart that doesnt seem to disappear. The things I do has all the foot prints of her shadow. I tried to occupy myself, but when I'm alone, the thoughts just threw me upside down.

I'm uncertain if I should start looking for another relationship so fast. I'm reflecting on this previous relationship and this voidness in me. Some how, I just want someone to talk to me. Perhaps thats why I posted in a forum.

[tenggiri]

Time heals all wound....eventually u will get over it and move on with your life....:D:D:D

And dun forget to reflect back on the relationship itself and ask yourself why it failed...

Said it like it is man. Ts do listen up ya, since u posted for advice!

But just want to add that once the pain subsided, do go out n have a good
bonk to start life afresh. :D

[Intltuk]

TS,

What is going true is wat every person goes thru' when a relationship is broken. This has been discussed here but let me reiterate here again. There are 5 stages of loss:
1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Having said tat....most pple don't go thru all the stages and ea person will hve different intensity. The one common among all is....item 5, acceptance. Once u get to the last stage...u will naturally move on.

To get there, connect with ur friends, family, `lost' friends or focus on ur hobbies, go for new activities, etc. Thru' focusing ur attn on other matters, the pain will ease and go away after a time....and u will move on. Like a saying goes `Time heals all wounds'.

[Wednesday]

you need to take sometime away from thinking about it.
i mean, seriously there are better girls out there. if she is yours, you'll come back to you no matter what.
move on if you need to bah :)
time, will heal it's wound.

[prettymannequin]

Thanks guys for your advice.

I'm not looking for another girl to satisfy the physical. My most troubling is the void in my heart that doesnt seem to disappear. The things I do has all the foot prints of her shadow. I tried to occupy myself, but when I'm alone, the thoughts just threw me upside down.

I'm uncertain if I should start looking for another relationship so fast. I'm reflecting on this previous relationship and this voidness in me. Some how, I just want someone to talk to me. Perhaps thats why I posted in a forum.

Hey bro, seeking social support is good ya. It's one of the process of recovering, you can come and chat in the chatroom anytime.

Link is: http://sammyboyforum.com/addonchat.php

Just come on in and have a nice conversation, and try and fill the void. :)

[NRider]

Hi TS, well can understand your situation though butta life goes on! Like a old saying goes, "Don't because of a tree and dessert the whole forest".. :)

[youarechibi]

Bro TS

I broke off with GF before. It is painful initially i went through. This is life. Then the only choice is move on and start over again. No need to think of past relationship because it is over. Still can make GF with another girl who is better. Look forward and move on

Wish you the best

[jnudes]

I just broke off with my gf and am having difficulties in moving on. I know I have to move on, just sooner or later.

There is a void in my heart that needs to be filled. Whenever I come face to face with this void, it just tears me apart. I'm trying to keep a healthy state of mind, but its proving difficult.

I dont wish to put my attention on FL, WL, etc. How can I fill this void in my heart? Is there possibility of companship instead of relationship? I'm just abit tired from my previous relationship.

Depending on how much you love her, the deeper usually the longer it take to forget her. I did tried to KC with a Thai WL at Hatyai before in order to forgot her but it did not achieve anything; all of a sudden I am so scared to see her again and even her shadow! She is now married with another man while I am still single.

The easiest is when you find a new gf things will be fine again. Or you can choose to be single like me now and go for travel few times a year. Being single is not always that bad, one can enjoy 100% freedom and no need to be controlled by your partner or gf. Good luck to u!

[ryuggen]

Thanks guys for your encouragement.

I was trying to keep myself occupy. But always somehow it just sink into depressed state. The worst is in dreams. I have to wake up telling myself the dreams are not real and will torture myself even more.

On the outside, I'm portraying a Move on person infront of friends and even myself. But inside, its so weak that its almost like dying. I wish that heart can move on, but it just refuse my rational mind. :(

My friends are telling me to get another gal. Dont think about this. But inside, I cant accept myself to get a new to forget the previous. I'm trying to reach the acceptance stage, but its really hard.

Uncontrollably, I texted her, wrote letter to her, go to her house and wait etc, When texting, if the content is not trying to reconcil, just a daily sms, it feels better to text. Perhaps to fill the role I was previously doing.

Some times I hate myself for doing crazily stupid, silly or a foolish things. Or did I really fall in love. Peers are encouraging me to find another gal. Better ones. But there is a voice inside that tells me I'm not a dog. And not to pounce on any available female dogs to fill the void. Sound crude... but thats the best illustration I can make. I know its silly to hold on. I'm not sure if its cognitive bias, but there hopefully, something can change. Something...

[mitosblog]

Thanks guys for your encouragement.

I was trying to keep myself occupy. But always somehow it just sink into depressed state. The worst is in dreams. I have to wake up telling myself the dreams are not real and will torture myself even more.

On the outside, I'm portraying a Move on person infront of friends and even myself. But inside, its so weak that its almost like dying. I wish that heart can move on, but it just refuse my rational mind. :(

My friends are telling me to get another gal. Dont think about this. But inside, I cant accept myself to get a new to forget the previous. I'm trying to reach the acceptance stage, but its really hard.

Uncontrollably, I texted her, wrote letter to her, go to her house and wait etc, When texting, if the content is not trying to reconcil, just a daily sms, it feels better to text. Perhaps to fill the role I was previously doing.

Some times I hate myself for doing crazily stupid, silly or a foolish things. Or did I really fall in love. Peers are encouraging me to find another gal. Better ones. But there is a voice inside that tells me I'm not a dog. And not to pounce on any available female dogs to fill the void. Sound crude... but thats the best illustration I can make. I know its silly to hold on. I'm not sure if its cognitive bias, but there hopefully, something can change. Something...

All your past memories with her; either good or bad does not matter anymore. You should learn to let go of her. It is because of your strong attachment that make you become like this.

Did she reply your sms or letter? I don't think so. Better don't waste time with her anymore. Very soon she will forget you. I know you want to get back together with her again but once our heart is broken like a vase we can only stick it back, leaving the scar behind. And only the time will let everything back to normal again.

Please do not do stupid things like suicide attempt, beating youself, etc. We are here to help you out when you need it. Listen to your peers. Find a new girl. Make new female friends and make your time occupied. Ask them out for a date or a movie. Learn to forget her from your mind.

[SDX5]

Hey bro

Yes, it hurts esp the first one. That's why you have Rod Stewart singing the song The first cut is the deepest.

You need to give yourself time. It can be months or a year or two. Breaking out in relationship is an experience in life. Your wound will heal but the scar will be there. You will learn to cherish the next one.

So meanwhile, enjoy being single again as you can do what you like without having to consider the other half. I dont know how old you are but I rather you focus on your career and works towards settling down in late 30s early 40s. Then u can choose a companion about 10yrs younger than u. Personally, I feel that's age gap is ideal.

Now you hv this chance. Treasure it.

Regards

[massage1001]

Bro, trust me time will heal everything.
Been thru many heart breaks and going thru 1 right now.
Keep yourself occupied so that your brain will not stray.

If u can't sleep just drink, alcohol helps

[Tom83]

Yo TS

This is not the end. You should find another GF and move on.


I just broke off with my gf and am having difficulties in moving on. I know I have to move on, just sooner or later.

There is a void in my heart that needs to be filled. Whenever I come face to face with this void, it just tears me apart. I'm trying to keep a healthy state of mind, but its proving difficult.

I dont wish to put my attention on FL, WL, etc. How can I fill this void in my heart? Is there possibility of companship instead of relationship? I'm just abit tired from my previous relationship.

[AWLGRIP]

Hi TS as time go by you will forget everything and start a new

[xpinkyx-moment]

U will heal one day :)

Hope Ur heart get well soon:D

[wonderwhy]

The truth at timed when we feel sad and cant let go of a girl.

Is because we are afraid of change. What will life hold without her

But the truth is... there is always more girls out there

My ex left me after 4 years. I was crushed and sad for a year

Till I met a prettier and hotter girl in my office. That is fate.

I realised that we just need to be more charming and let go of the sadness. The sad faces turn new girls away.

Even now, I am able to attract new girls around me. To be honest I am not the best looking guy. Maybe you are even better than me

So stop holding on. Put on a smile and chat with the girls

[ryuggen]

Thanks guys for the encouragement.

This is my 2nd relationship and I hold it dearly to me. Unfortunately, it didnt work out. I'm just holding on abit hoping that miracle happens. I know rationally that holding on is mentally damaging to myself. But I find it really a pity to let it go, especially the tough times we had to go through when our its the brink of breaking.

I know I have to move on some day, just sooner or later. Its just that I find it really a pity... really pity to let it all go. She is with another person and I still love her and wish she will find her happiness. But the selfish side of my wants her back so badly that my rational side just give in.

Sometimes, I just know the model answer to my problem. Just the emotion side is so strong at the moment. :(

I'm trying to go out and meet my friends. Just that I'm shattered inside yet I have to wear a smile and laugh with them. I didnt wish the people around me to me too worried as well.

[senny86]

hi bro TS,

i know how u feel, i spend 10 years forgetting a gal i once love and got together and she was my first ex...

only time can heal your wounds and move on, remember this, "dont spend the whole day searching for the star and you will lose a moon instead"

sometimes i know its hard to be with the one you truly love, but its easier with the one you are comfortable with.

cheer up! life is a journey, marriage is not a destination. :)

[wonderwhy]

Hi ryuggen

How long were you with her?

Why so fast she got bf?

[Wealthy]

Hi TS

You are not alone. There are people with similar experience. Some ended with divorse wasted alot of time and money. Thus broke off early is smart choice and because she is with another person.
Tell yourself that you made a smart choice to break and be happy with it.

Cheers


Thanks guys for the encouragement.

This is my 2nd relationship and I hold it dearly to me. Unfortunately, it didnt work out. I'm just holding on abit hoping that miracle happens. I know rationally that holding on is mentally damaging to myself. But I find it really a pity to let it go, especially the tough times we had to go through when our its the brink of breaking.

I know I have to move on some day, just sooner or later. Its just that I find it really a pity... really pity to let it all go. She is with another person and I still love her and wish she will find her happiness. But the selfish side of my wants her back so badly that my rational side just give in.

Sometimes, I just know the model answer to my problem. Just the emotion side is so strong at the moment. :(

I'm trying to go out and meet my friends. Just that I'm shattered inside yet I have to wear a smile and laugh with them. I didnt wish the people around me to me too worried as well.

[Wednesday]

i think, thats why when anyone fall, you'll need to learn how to pick yourself up again.
yeah you won't like move on in a day, but look ahead. i'm sure there are better girls out there waiting for you :D

[brittlebride]

旧的不去，新的不来... Start anew. There are full of sweet roses and sunflowers around. This is life, live and accept what comes by. ;)

[cmelater]

Being single has its merits. At least, you are not morally (or.... even legally) obligated to entertain your other half. You do not need to worry about how she thinks or how angry she is. Being attached or married brings obligations. No doubt, losing gf is a heart breaking affair. Do look at it from another angle. What if you are married or attached one day? You will wish you are single. Many attached and married men will attest to that.

Having went all the ups and downs, its sometimes just easier and more comforting to live life alone and be accountable only to the folks who brought us into this world.

You have no in-laws that you have to answer to. You do not need to report in. You can take MC or long annual leave and leave Singapore for a good break.

Yes, being attached and/ or married means someone that you can look to. Often, is it worth the emotional heartache? Ironically, the more we care for a person, the more we tend to hurt him or her. Its unlike dating a new gal, where you do your best to impress. Having to live with your gf or wife is not the same. There are more tendencies for "friction" to arise.

Ultimately, the question is "whats your choice?" A friend of mine said that single is lonely and he scared to die alone. Quite a number of married friends said that married must have kid, so if you are going to die, someone will be there to take care of you. What ever it is, never expect anything out of a relationship or assume any certainty.

If attached and getting married means the assumption that you will not be lonely, would you rather pick a gal who would not break up with you at this juncture? If a gal would just break up with you now, then better not be married with her now because two of you would end up in divorce (quite likely) eventually.

Cheer up all heart broken bros. Its something we all go through. At least, we don't die from it. :D

[ilovefucking]

Senior

Don't feel sad.


I just broke off with my gf and am having difficulties in moving on. I know I have to move on, just sooner or later.

There is a void in my heart that needs to be filled. Whenever I come face to face with this void, it just tears me apart. I'm trying to keep a healthy state of mind, but its proving difficult.

I dont wish to put my attention on FL, WL, etc. How can I fill this void in my heart? Is there possibility of companship instead of relationship? I'm just abit tired from my previous relationship.

[tiredstrides]

That's why brotherhood is better. Get your brothers to accompany you until you moved on.

[nehnehhh]

time is all you need and have bro. and at the mean time, now you have the time to catch up with you friends. Just jim any bro for a drink every now and then.

[StillSingle]

Wah i envy you guys leh, got gf then break off. i want that feeling also dont have sia.

[virtuoso]

Do apologise to any senior bros if what I saying is not right but do let me bare my sore heart on a Christmas morning where I can't sleep for the past two days due to bronchitis and also thinking of a girl I can never have.

Would this sentence be true "that as we grow older, the more we must learn to let go and take life easier" so that when the harder things in life starts to wack you, you are able to take it better in one's stride?

Over the years I have learnt never to throw one's whole heart in a relation but it so happened to one that I know I can never have, at the end I am still dragging my feet and feeling like a lousy ass just like TS.

Getting over it is never easy but one thing I learnt is a good time to know who your friends are. Keep talking to them, keep nagging at what u feeling like doing to your ex, just keep finding someone else to talk besides your ex.

When you feel smsing her and feel like going down to look for her call your friends. Time as what every bro say is true, time will heal is just WHEN.

U know as well as any clear headed bro needs to do is move on n don't go thinking of what miracle, a real man takes what comes and does not look back, as the future coming will have more shit coming your way and definitely u don't wish the shit coming back like a miracle.

I feel like penning down more. But just let me stop here first...

Hope this helps u abit. The rest is yourself and your friends n your religion if you have one.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

[Mephistophilus]

When it comes, let it come.
When it goes, treat it like it never come before.

[cmelater]

TS,

Breaking off really is not the end. Lets put it like this. Would you rather end the relationship now or later? Fact is, if really can't work out, ending later will cause lagi more pain and potential regret. Remember also that relationships (which fail to work) means loss of time on your side and also at the gal's end.

View it as being fair to the other party, while also see it as yourself saving time. Worse is, if later married and really unhappy, how to get out? Not so simple. The process of divorce and emotional stress is totally avoidable.

Cheer up. So long as you are young and healthy, its not the end. Why sweat when you are still fit and strong. Some people lying in hospitals don't even have a choice of getting up to find the gal they love. Think about your parents who brought you up. Can you afford to let them down?

Be strong and move on. Falls are necessary to make weak men stronger, good men great, great men greater. Treat it as training to be ready to take care of your eventual life long partner.

[porscheclub]

Thanks guys for your advice.

I'm not looking for another girl to satisfy the physical. My most troubling is the void in my heart that doesnt seem to disappear. The things I do has all the foot prints of her shadow. I tried to occupy myself, but when I'm alone, the thoughts just threw me upside down.

I'm uncertain if I should start looking for another relationship so fast. I'm reflecting on this previous relationship and this voidness in me. Some how, I just want someone to talk to me. Perhaps thats why I posted in a forum.

Love is just a small part of our life similar to education, you move from kindergarten to primary before graduating to the next level. They come & go until you find your soul-mate and some will never find but that doesn't mean you lose your mind over a gal.

You're in K1 so wake up & move along!

[viviankoh]

I just broke off with my gf and am having difficulties in moving on. I know I have to move on, just sooner or later.

There is a void in my heart that needs to be filled. Whenever I come face to face with this void, it just tears me apart. I'm trying to keep a healthy state of mind, but its proving difficult.

I dont wish to put my attention on FL, WL, etc. How can I fill this void in my heart? Is there possibility of companship instead of relationship? I'm just abit tired from my previous relationship.

i can totally understand how much love can hurt. it seems so difficult for me to move on too..


Take it easy. Just be strong , For me, i just tell myself at least i have loved and enjoyed the good times together.

all the best!

[unsung80]

I know how painful it is, but the best is quickly get over it and move on with your life. Is the beginning of 2014. Get yourself involve in new activities, pick up a hobbies, expand your social circle such as networking. Look forward to a new r/s and you will treasure and make her happier than before.

[icao]

With time and a new girl, you will be fine.