Should I give her another chance

[he-man11]

On behalf of a good brother of mine. For easy typing, I will relate the subject as myself.

GF of 5 yrs. i'm 30, she's 27. i watched her change from a spoilt little princess into someone who loves eating at coffee shops and watch what she spends. she's still a little naive in her thinking and at times not the most responsible person due to her sheltered upbringing.

other than the occasional quarrel when she gets her pms, we hardly ever quarrel out of this 5 yrs. people look at us as the perfect couple. she's treats me like her king and i pamper her like my little princess. i've never been with another girl who treats me the same way like she does. not even close. as a bonus, sex life is amazing. even after these yrs, we still can't wait to jump into bed and get it on like a pair of horny rabbits.

she has a bad habit of lying though. nothing major in the beginning. things like where she went and who she was with. and when confronted, she will cover with stories after stories until she's presented with cold hard evidence would she admit it. thats human nature i guess. so well, i forgave her time after time and things actually improved(or maybe she just got better at it) that i managed to trust her completely.

we talked about marriage and we intended to do it in a yrs time. she's the first that i actually wanted to marry. and for a fact, she wants to get married to me for the longest time. just that my financials are not stable yet.

cut the story short, she went on an overseas trip and met another guy. 4 yrs younger than her. i don't know what the guy did to her but it managed to convince her that she deserves to be treated much better and she broke up with me 2 weeks after knowing him. that guy bought her a ticket and she flew over to spend time with him. she told me she's there just to get away from everything and clear her mind. we all know thats not the case. wanting to fight for the women i love, i flew over to try to win her back.

unfortunately, the worst had happened. she slept with him on her 2nd night there. and guess what, i forgave her and ask her to come back with me. she eventually agreed to come back with me saying that now she realised how much i really love her, she saw how hurt i am, her mind was clouded and she didn't know what the hell she was doing, and she really regretted it.

fast-forward 1 week after we're back in sg and decided to start anew, she contacted that guy again and they are back to the lovey-dovey messages and phone calls everyday again. my heart really died this time and i initiated a break up.(first time from me). she's devastated now. crying everyday and begging me to give her 1 last chance. btw, all the things i found out are through endless questionings and cover-up stories.

it seems like a pretty straight-forward case here. the normal rational would be to move on and find someone else who truly deserves my love. infact i would advice the same to someone else. but when u r so in love with someone and u're in it yourself, it's just so difficult. based on the fact that this is the first time she's realising that she's really losing me for good, will she really learn her lesson?(im thinking that she didn't learn her lesson the previous time bcuz i always forgive her too easily) she's still in contact with that guy now but she didn't jump to him now. it would be alot easier for her to do that but she didn't and instead just wants me back so badly. is that worth considering giving her another chance?

i know what the rational thinking should be. infact i'm trying to move on but it hurts so much cuz i really love her alot.

bros out there who had shared similar experience, i would love to hear what u did and wat was the outcome.

sisters out there, pls share with me your views as a women cuz there are certain things we men would never understand.

Thank you everyone.


broken hearted man

[KiasuUncle]

Bro,

if i am u, i could have kicked her far from my sight..

A gal who loves u will never sleep with another man.....if now she still contact with that man. U never know when she will sleep with him again. Cos u are not with her the whole time.

But is up to ur decision. But i think there are more gals deserve your love in this world....Good luck!!

[he-man11]

thanks for your reply bro..

she slept with him after she broke up with me. that guy lives in another country. it's either she goes over or he comes over

[alan0338]

u shouldnt dump her, if she can attract another guy means she at least is those kind of buay pai gal, suggest to continue fucking her and ignore wat she do, then in the meantime hunt for another gal who truly deserves u... :D

[SBCheongSter]

If that guy is an angmo, I will say that she had fallen into his sweet talking trap. If you really love her and still want to continue being with her, tell her to stop contacting that guy. If she is willing to, very likely that she still wanted to be with you. If she is not willing to or if she still continue to lie to you and secretly contact that guy (you can obviously find out if you wanted to), then I will say you should just drop her off.
Sometimes, girls are just being playful and who doesn't like sweet talkings etc. Even us guys love that as well.
So I will say up to you to judge whether she can stop contacting that guy. She knows that guy cannot provide her anything other than companion and sex and fun but you can provide her everything she needs.
But in her mind, she still want thrill.

So if she can promise not to contact that guy anymore, then will be good.

[he-man11]

If that guy is an angmo, I will say that she had fallen into his sweet talking trap. If you really love her and still want to continue being with her, tell her to stop contacting that guy. If she is willing to, very likely that she still wanted to be with you. If she is not willing to or if she still continue to lie to you and secretly contact that guy (you can obviously find out if you wanted to), then I will say you should just drop her off.
Sometimes, girls are just being playful and who doesn't like sweet talkings etc. Even us guys love that as well.
So I will say up to you to judge whether she can stop contacting that guy. She knows that guy cannot provide her anything other than companion and sex and fun but you can provide her everything she needs.
But in her mind, she still want thrill.

So if she can promise not to contact that guy anymore, then will be good.

when she decided to come back with me to sg, i made her cut contact with that guy. deleted and block him off facebook, whatsapp etc... she promised not to contact that guy ever again since she decided to choose me.

but she started to miss him again cuz she really did fall for him. so she took the risk to contact him again.

now she's promising that she will definitely cut contact with him once and for all if i give her a chance. problem is she promised me the same thing before. i dunno if i can trust her anymore.

[joscklee]

Good horse doesn't eat return head grass

[Hurricane88]

I will not bother with her...there is a forest out there...why bother with one tree...unless you think you cannot get other gals...:):p

[porscheclub]

She's a lying slut.

Sorry for saying this ;) but do yourself a favour & check that you're clean after few months.

[Tom83]

Hi Bro

I saw similar experience before on my relative. Man would seek forgiveness after woman spotted the mistake. Man repeatedly commit the mistake after forgiveness was given by woman. They ended with broke off after woman could not take it any more.

Hope this help

[Tom83]

Hi bro

I saw a similar experience on my relative. Man would ask for forgiveness after lady spotted the mistake. Man then repeatedly commit the mistake after each forgiveness. Lady eventually broke off with the man after she could not take it any more

Hope this help

[fictionman]

Why would you give her another chance is beyond me bro...Her actions behind ur cock wz another cock surely cant be 4given rite...

But then again,its ur call bro...If its me, NO WAY JOSE

[he-man11]

Hi bro

I saw a similar experience on my relative. Man would ask for forgiveness after lady spotted the mistake. Man then repeatedly commit the mistake after each forgiveness. Lady eventually broke off with the man after she could not take it any more

Hope this help

thanks for sharing the experience bro.

what i did is beyond me as well. i really can't explain it either.

[Ahlcey]

Bro. its painful for sure, but I wouldn't suggest you take her back. If she could easily throw such a long relationship down the road for some new guy she met, it probably wont end well in the future. take some time alone, move on, and find someone that truly appreciates you bro.

All the best.

[Tai_zi21]

Asked urself does she deserve a second chance?

To me answer is no! Check out my signature

[hamsapkwai]

sounds like a fun ride , even better than any at any Theme Park

why dont just sit in till the finish but just dont commit

whatever is yours is yours and whatever is not wont be

girls like that will eventually leave anyway and only beg to come back when things the other side dont work out

[hoho99]

Heard from a word wisdom that goes something like this:

Your friend machiam like 山， the gf standing on this 山 will always look at another 山 and admire that 山 beauty and marvelness. One fine day she like all human beings will try to leave where she is at and climb that 山. However halfway up the new 山 she will begin to look back and realise that the orginal 山 she is at is also equally beautiful or even better. She being human will of course return to a place where she is familar which in turn will mean she forever will look at others beauty from your friends comfort.

All human is like that, be it male/female, race, nationality, educational level. Until one learn to be contented, one will never stop betraying another:o

All is not lost though. Tell your friend 山是很大的，为什么用来只装下一个人呢？He need not necessary go into fl or something but he need not put her a his number 1 no longer

Sorry for being kaypo here:D

[MaMister]

u shouldnt dump her, if she can attract another guy means she at least is those kind of buay pai gal, suggest to continue fucking her and ignore wat she do, then in the meantime hunt for another gal who truly deserves u... :D

I think so too... fuck until she don't let you fuck, meanwhile find someone else. :D

[MrStyleKing]

Good horse doesn't eat return head grass

So agree bro. Unless TS is black horse :D

[sentsggirls]

life is about choices, is either you follow your heart or your cock.
You said u love her the most, but it will never be for her because is always like that for all relationship. one party love the other one more.

right now, u must decide if you heart is bigger then your cock , to accept the past and present and the future. if u want to love a person then prepare to be in pain. I forsee it will be very tiring for you in the long run after u guys married becos the matter of fact, you love her more then she love you. but is okay as long as you she appreicate the things u do for her.

such things dun have to ask her, you can see for yourself wether she appreciate you anot.
take good care.

[ColdBlood99]

no chance given, she betray you once and will betray you twice, some more i dont believe in lying. why should she lie? stay truthful and tell what she is doing.

nobody would like to be kept in cage. everybody need freedom.


just ask her to FO. singapore so many gals dont need scare lah bro.

your story still okay, mine is when house is ready wanted to get marry but she run away.

end of the day this type of gals are bitch, dont waste your time on her

[chenchen]

Ya.. better end sooner, pain short short better than pain long long..

[MrStyleKing]

Dump her and go find another girl because once a vase is broken, hard to mend back

[flowbow]

I know you'll be getting a lot of advice asking you to move on because based on what you've said, it really seems as if this girl doesn't know how to treasure you. But I can also understand how you feel because you both have been together for so long and you really, truly love her.

So I'd say... If you're not sure, yet still wanna be together with her, then don't trust her completely yet... Give her some sort of a probation period. Make sure she really does cut off all contacts with the guy and check on her regularly. If she manages to pass this "probation period", then good for you both. If she can't, then well, I guess you really should wake up and see for yourself that she just wants the best of both worlds, and that you don't mean enough to her for her to let go of the other guy completely.

[Greendevil]

TS, many samster have spread their wisdom already. I will just want to ask if you got back together, can you tahan another pain? Given a track records of lying and betray, what the chances of that? Do you want to be the moth that fly
Into the fire knowing that will hurt/kill u?

[xuanz]

I tio almost the same scenario. Bro, it won't work out anymore. It will take months to recover. But even if you two are tgt again, you will just rmb that one time, she fucked you out. Hard for guys to forget.

Break up, and remember. Always prettier and better girls out there.

[maxsee]

She can cheat on you once...she can do it again...there are greener pasture out there...:D:D:D

[Megatronzombie]

Bro TS

I had the exact same problem many yrs ago with my then gf. She cheated with her colleague then i found out. My heart broke like never before she kept apologising and with much effort i forgave her. 1 week later slept with her colleague again!! I was flin upset until i call my gangster buddy to burn the guy's house down. Funny thing my fren advised me he can do it but think twie whether i really wanted to or not. Anyway after much pleadingand crying i actually forgave her! Fast forward oneyr she got pregnant and she claimed that was because she was raped by her colleague. She had an abortion and again wonders of wonders i believed her. Now fast forward to present and she is my wife of some yrs and fuess what? She is now very close to a ... Tats correct, a colleague! :D she refused to admit anything and since this time i found out early i believed her. But what if i didnt find out earlier? What would have happened? Do you see a trend goin on in my story here? Indeed it is ery hard For atiger to change his spots. I never go FL or spa but i went as a revenge on her long ago and ended up hooked to FLs and spas until some yrs back i retired from it coz bece jaded liao one FL look like another wats the point? Anyway u asked if anyone has similar experience so i tell u mine. Its ultimately up to u if u wan to continue with ur gf or break the relationship. For your info my thengf now my wife also drop dead pretty so what? She act like a slut i might as well hire a real slut and bang her rite?

[zeusfist]

Bro.. my advice is dont...

My ex was like that... Almost want to ROM liao.. den she met another guy frm her work place. Then at first just say meet friend nia.. Then after that her own friend tell me... she fucking him behind my back. All the drama cam out.. how she was lost, how she was stupid to believe him.. gave her chance..

Then one day i happen to go to her work place to find her.. she not there.. txt her.. she say she at work.. a few time this happen... i decide to stalk and wait.. she end up going hotel with that same guy.

when confronted... same.. beg for another chance.. my heart cold liao.. ask her fuck off. then she change tone.. say if i trust her more it won't happen..

bottom line... leopard cannot change its spot.

[he-man11]

thanks to all bros who shared your opinions and suggestions here.

bro megatronzombie, seems like u been thru it all and can tell from your first-hand experience. can i know when u decided to give her another chance after catching her for the 2nd time, how was the feeling? did things get better that u decided to take her as your wife? through-out these yrs, wat kind of feelings do u get? do u feel very tired always being suspicious? or does the feeling actually slowly fade away. did u ever love her again? or was it just for the sake of being together.

there's so many questions in my head that has no answer unless i try it out. but then again, the risk of getting hurt again just stops me from doing anything.


anyway as an update, she called recently and i had a long talk with her. it was the first time i didn't sense anymore cover-up stories from her. she came clean on everything i asked. she admitted that when she came back with me to sg, it wasn't bcuz she learned her lesson or 'woken up'. it was a combination of touched that i went for her, pity that i was heart-broken and the fact that i was still a better catch than the other guy.
so when we were back in sg, she didn't think twice about doing it again bcuz she didn't learn anything at all from the saga. i simply took her back too easily.

she said that now that i really left her, she finally got a chance to learn her lesson. she feels that she is such a lousy person and is working hard to change into a better person.

i'm such a softie at heart. :(

[DaTan]

Hi Bro,

You guys are not married yet and since you really love her, no harm giving it 1 last chance... if she really lie to you again, u can jus break off with her right?

[(o)(o) Tuner]

Ok TS, lets not talk about how long or how much you love her. You just have to ask yourself. Can you accept the fact that your gf was fucked by another man whom she only knew for only a couple of weeks?

Can you ensure that you'll not think of this incident when you're having sex with your gf in future?

Do you know how song she felt when she was fucked by the other guy? Imagine she hornily spread her legs wide open and allow him to fuck her pussy, calling him to fuck her faster & harder...., letting him cum all over her face. Can you accept this? If your answer is yes, then please go ahead forgive her.

[angelababy]

to the TS:

being let down in a relationship can happen in so many ways. having your loved one cheat on you does not hurt any less than a partner who is there in the relationship, only physically,but has lost all intention to grow the relationship with you.


everyone errs. everyone has hurt our loved ones before one way or another.


she is not quitting on you yet because you have not quitted on her.


work it out. love always deserves second chances because that is what is love is all about. (till the day the heart and love dies, of course.)

[he-man11]

bro datan, i did think about that. i'm just afraid that if it happens again, i will have to go through this emotional roller coaster again. this is 1 fuck up feeling that i would nvr want to experience again.

bro tuner, i guess i already accept it when i forgave her the first time round. first few days were terrible. the thought of what happened just made me not wanna touch her at all. but as the days pass, it actually got better.

there's a very unique way of thinking that was shared with me. a girl who had sex with 3 ex-bfs compare to a girl who had sex with 2 and cheated with 1. they still slept with 3 guys. it's the sense of betrayal that we can't get over with.

i think i may be already pissing off some bros here with my indecisiveness. i apologise for that. i just hope that anyone out there who experienced it before could share with me what happened in the end on your side. what are the consequences/results of your decision? how did you feel yrs down the road? was it tiring/painful or did it ended up well.

for the few bros who shared with your personal experience, i thank you again for that.

[justl00king]

TS bro,

U with your gf for 5 years. She only got to know the guy for 2 weeks and decided to break up with u?

Unless u want to have de javu, its pretty clear what needs to be done. ;)

Wish u all the best. :)

[thomko]

5 years bro is a long relationship, but the knowledge of cheating will linger in your head year in n year out. Can you manage that thought.?

[Intltuk]

Are u serious bro? The writing is on the wall:
1. She lies
2. She slept with another man
3. Her mind is with him, not u

U've realized she came back bec she is touched, NOT bec she is IN LOVE with u. When there is no trust in a relationship............

U know in ur heart this relationship cannot be sustain. Move on. It will be painful no doubt to part and u will grieve for a while but u will recover.

[sadfa]

bro datan, i did think about that. i'm just afraid that if it happens again, i will have to go through this emotional roller coaster again. this is 1 fuck up feeling that i would nvr want to experience again.



The conventional wisdom in this forum whenever something like this happen, is:

Pretend everything is OK so u can continue to fuck her until song song while looking for a new gf or wife.


Anyway, she betray u once so easy, she can betray you again next time.
If you cant live with that, suggest you find new gal.

[lonelygirl]

Maybe she just don't meant for you? Move on!!!

[2wire]

There's always this "invisible" scar lingering around and to TS: Will you really trust her 100% again and won't have any doubts when you "feel" something is up again? I think all these guessing and stuff in future will eat you up from the inside leh.

[hornynoobie]

Bro... I m facing something lk urs too recently... take ur thread to share...

I met this ger sometime back n know she is married but gg thru a divorce. The husband cheated on her.... she too slept ard but jus wasnt caught by the husband. I knew she was feeling empty n thats y she keeps hanging out w dudes n slept ard w a few before me too. During e beginning I thought I can just take her as a fuck buddy... but as time past my feelings grew for her. I do know she is constantly toking to her ex flings n one she really likes n couldnt get over w. But I carried on w her till one day... my jealousy got e better of me n I confronted her. From e conversation we had... I realised she nvr really loved me n was taking me as a filler... to fill up her emptiness... it just happened not too long n I m feeling like a loser in me. Guess e bros here r right...

tink abt e time when ur partner is enjoying herself w other guys... does she even give a damn abt how u feel? They r just being sluts... we r better off without these kind of gers in our life.

[hornynoobie]

But for all I said above... I m also confused. .. want her back badly but dun tink I can trust her at all...

If ever we do get bk again... I will just f her many times n at e same time look for somebody else... I will prob feel lk taking revenge... I know tts bad....

[banana81sg]

cn talk to her n c how she feel n say. " i wan u back, but i can never trust u 100% again"

[twilight13]

If an relationship of 5 years can be so easily rock after knowing another guy for only 2 weeks, there is only 1 thing about your relationship.

She does not love you at all and she will definitely do it again!

Like our PM like to say 'Let's move on'.

[porscheclub]

He-man, one week since the post & you're still in a daze....so still with her?

I can accept that my woman has a few partners before me but not a habitual liar like yours. That's one of the main issue you raised before she even slept around.

You're already a 30yrs old man. Wake up!!!! Look for a wife quality woman instead of worrying about a wife who's constantly making you a cock unless you enjoy it. What happens if she tells you next month that she's pregnant, is it yours or someone else's? You cannot check till few months later alright? The torment will be greater by then & some women can be crafty, just look at how many cheating women on your thread alone.

[newbieboy]

You looking for a unique way to see this? Here's one:

She prefers another man's dick to yours.

[jialatjinjin]

On behalf of a good brother of mine. For easy typing, I will relate the subject as myself.

GF of 5 yrs. i'm 30, she's 27. i watched her change from a spoilt little princess into someone who loves eating at coffee shops and watch what she spends. she's still a little naive in her thinking and at times not the most responsible person due to her sheltered upbringing.

other than the occasional quarrel when she gets her pms, we hardly ever quarrel out of this 5 yrs. people look at us as the perfect couple. she's treats me like her king and i pamper her like my little princess. i've never been with another girl who treats me the same way like she does. not even close. as a bonus, sex life is amazing. even after these yrs, we still can't wait to jump into bed and get it on like a pair of horny rabbits.

she has a bad habit of lying though. nothing major in the beginning. things like where she went and who she was with. and when confronted, she will cover with stories after stories until she's presented with cold hard evidence would she admit it. thats human nature i guess. so well, i forgave her time after time and things actually improved(or maybe she just got better at it) that i managed to trust her completely.

we talked about marriage and we intended to do it in a yrs time. she's the first that i actually wanted to marry. and for a fact, she wants to get married to me for the longest time. just that my financials are not stable yet.

cut the story short, she went on an overseas trip and met another guy. 4 yrs younger than her. i don't know what the guy did to her but it managed to convince her that she deserves to be treated much better and she broke up with me 2 weeks after knowing him. that guy bought her a ticket and she flew over to spend time with him. she told me she's there just to get away from everything and clear her mind. we all know thats not the case. wanting to fight for the women i love, i flew over to try to win her back.

unfortunately, the worst had happened. she slept with him on her 2nd night there. and guess what, i forgave her and ask her to come back with me. she eventually agreed to come back with me saying that now she realised how much i really love her, she saw how hurt i am, her mind was clouded and she didn't know what the hell she was doing, and she really regretted it.

fast-forward 1 week after we're back in sg and decided to start anew, she contacted that guy again and they are back to the lovey-dovey messages and phone calls everyday again. my heart really died this time and i initiated a break up.(first time from me). she's devastated now. crying everyday and begging me to give her 1 last chance. btw, all the things i found out are through endless questionings and cover-up stories.

it seems like a pretty straight-forward case here. the normal rational would be to move on and find someone else who truly deserves my love. infact i would advice the same to someone else. but when u r so in love with someone and u're in it yourself, it's just so difficult. based on the fact that this is the first time she's realising that she's really losing me for good, will she really learn her lesson?(im thinking that she didn't learn her lesson the previous time bcuz i always forgive her too easily) she's still in contact with that guy now but she didn't jump to him now. it would be alot easier for her to do that but she didn't and instead just wants me back so badly. is that worth considering giving her another chance?

i know what the rational thinking should be. infact i'm trying to move on but it hurts so much cuz i really love her alot.

bros out there who had shared similar experience, i would love to hear what u did and wat was the outcome.

sisters out there, pls share with me your views as a women cuz there are certain things we men would never understand.

Thank you everyone.


broken hearted man

you damn lucky you no marry her yet.

move on. go cheong hc. ktv. okt.

fuck all your sadness out. then ok already.

[kenlong2003]

Bro TS

I had the exact same problem many yrs ago with my then gf. She cheated with her colleague then i found out. My heart broke like never before she kept apologising and with much effort i forgave her. 1 week later slept with her colleague again!! I was flin upset until i call my gangster buddy to burn the guy's house down. Funny thing my fren advised me he can do it but think twie whether i really wanted to or not. Anyway after much pleadingand crying i actually forgave her! Fast forward oneyr she got pregnant and she claimed that was because she was raped by her colleague. She had an abortion and again wonders of wonders i believed her. Now fast forward to present and she is my wife of some yrs and fuess what? She is now very close to a ... Tats correct, a colleague! :D she refused to admit anything and since this time i found out early i believed her. But what if i didnt find out earlier? What would have happened? Do you see a trend goin on in my story here? Indeed it is ery hard For atiger to change his spots. I never go FL or spa but i went as a revenge on her long ago and ended up hooked to FLs and spas until some yrs back i retired from it coz bece jaded liao one FL look like another wats the point? Anyway u asked if anyone has similar experience so i tell u mine. Its ultimately up to u if u wan to continue with ur gf or break the relationship. For your info my thengf now my wife also drop dead pretty so what? She act like a slut i might as well hire a real slut and bang her rite?


Bro, i really admire you to be able to go through all these heartbreaking painful situation. Hope all things goes well for you and hope your wife change for you.

[fornlcator]

bro

In life certain thing really no choice. The better way is let go and move on Sir

[SpeedRacer]

Bro 'you' are 30 liao leh, 5 years is not a short time. If i were you, i will take a break and clear my head first. I'll only let her back if she is genuinely sincere, and will be monitored constantly.

[prettymannequin]

For the sole reason of not being able to have an open and honest relationship, I'd suggest dumping her already...

On your part, has your relationship become too comfortable, and have you been slacking off in making her fall in love with you again and again? She's prolly seeking fun and excitement.

[sixplus]

can see that you really love her a lot, to the point that you are willing to forgive her for the things that she had done. after being so long together, definitely you will feel if it is worth to just let go of the relationship now.

since you have initiated the breakup, no harm giving yourself more time to think about it. if you guys really can't let go of each other, you will still end up together somehow.

nobody can assure you what will happen in future. history may repeat itself. so it is up to you whether you think you can accept her for who she is. If you think you can't accept such things about her for the rest of your life (if you get married), then you should move on.

I know it sounds easier said than done. I have my dilemmas too. haha. take care.

[DANiel™]

If she only needed a few weeks to know the guy and a few days to fuck the guy...I think the answer is pretty obvious.
She's a pathological liar based on what u described her past.

End off with a saying; Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me

[BBBJOK]

Good day

In this situation can be sad to let go. Still my suggestion is let go and move
on.

Regards

[SBCheongSter]

To be more open minded, I will like to ask if you can accept her having another guy overseas and being with you when she is in Singapore.
Since she had lied to you saying she will cut all relationships with him but yet she still continue to meet him. I will think she treasure lust with him more than being with you.
If you really really love her, I will think that you can probably give her a final chance for the benefits of her being with you. But remember and you should tell yourself that this is her final chance. And you should let her know also. If she still lie and continue to contact him, it will be her choice and her decision and you should move on.

[sggamer]

maybe look for another one. in the meanwhile, treat her like dirt until you get a better one.
if she really wanted to go back to you, she would have stop seeing the other guy for real and stop all communications with him.

[MrSeahLK]

Indeed one last chance will do. Hope she will U-turn.

Wish you the best

[ace_hole55]

Bro, do u reali love her? Den test her.. is abit tough but sometimes reali work. U start not to show concern on her, gif her any ans when she text u, or she nvr text den u dun text her. Jus do those things tat u normally the opp ways. If she loves u, u will surely sense e diff.. But it may back fire hor. U may push her ckoser to the guy. So ur choice.

[ace_hole55]

thank bros for the zap. saying my idea is stupid. but u nvr try, den u will nvr noe. u haf been giving her all e attention. try other way rd, it may help.

[ace_hole55]

Every bros zap me bcos im giving stupid idea. Well dis situation happened to me b4. The more i care, the more she heck care me. So a good fren of mine whom is a female ask me to try dis idea. If tat woman still loves u, she will be wondering sudden change of u. Plus mine is bcos she n tat guy became nasty, tat when she tink the better side of me. N we r finally back after 8mths. For those bros who zap me. How many of u haf encounter such situation b4? N how did u solve yours den. Pls share n dun zap onli. Although i dun care much abt points but im jus trying to help. Tks.

[lightweaver]

To TS, do u know her motivation for being pyschoed by the overseas guy tat easily. Repressing my desire to eat chocolate doesn't remove my desire to eat choc. So she may hv repressed things on her mind. Given her inclinations to lie,
Uncovering tat may be tricky.

[yewchai]

Brother lover that lies will continue to lie for the rest of your life even married.

u got 2 choice since she aldy openly betrayed you

1> let her go and for God sake she will receive her retribution
2> give her a good lession .... and junk her away...

[tshirt]

My advise for you, you should dump this girl. She is a girl without ethics, loves to lie, and even travelled overseas to have sex with another guy. You shouldn't have even gone there to get her back. Let her rot there. You are better off without her.

What she did does not say anything about you, but it says a lot about her - she is a lying little bitch slut who cheats. You deserve someone better.

Even if you take her back, you will never trust her ever again. Stop giving yourself more heartache and headache.

[noobster89]

May I inject something right now which might be an insult to you? If you want to know, I can pm you. Just let me know.

Other than that, I would strongly suggest you give up and look for someone better. If you cannot trust her now, what happens if you 2 are married? I see far worst cases when couples are married and these kind of things happen.

Give her up, go out and freshen up yourself, enjoy singlehood and slowly find a new partner! Take your time, just take it as an experience, a lesson learnt.

[massage1001]

Bro, move on
I know it hurts but once the trust is gone it will never be the same again

[EtherC]

TS I can assure you of one thing about most people: we can't change our core characteristics spontaneously

Your GF is a lying cheat with a high sex drive and she'll always be one unless some traumatic incident happens to her that changes her outlook.

Most women look for security in a partner and you happen to be a safe harbor for her.

The more you spoil and place her on a pedestal, the lower your status will be and she'll start losing her respect for you quickly. Despite the feminist movement its only a social evolution, few women can overcome the biological attraction to men with power + authority.

[Ken79]

your gf is the type of person who doesnt know how to appreciate and think rationally, one of the ppl that u cant trust too much are habitual liars, max 2-3 chances but there's a limit to all things

[archer69]

Nobody gives a better advice, except this guy.

u shouldnt dump her, if she can attract another guy means she at least is those kind of buay pai gal, suggest to continue fucking her and ignore wat she do, then in the meantime hunt for another gal who truly deserves u... :D

[kawa333]

I have a similar experience previously. Just tell urself that this is never going to be the girl you going to marry, the most stay in BGR relationship. Your partner is probably the only person u can trust the most (other than ur parents) in this world. If you cant even trust her or she can lie to you, then dont promote her to wife status can liao, haa!

[Villian]

I guess the answer to TS question is very apparent.
If you continue to stay in this relationship, the only thing u want is to stay on, fuck her mind fuck her pussy.

A woman who flys over to another country and have herself fucked. She's worst than a Prostitute in my opinion. Prostitutes does it for money, she does it for free.

Be glad you had her for 4 years, and be grateful this is the only time you think she was fucked by another man. Chances of her getting herself fucked by another man this past 4 years with you are very likely.

My advice, continue to stay with her.. always good to have a pussy rather than using your hands.

[Villian]

'The power of all relationship lies with whoever cares less'

[tshirt]

'The power of all relationship lies with whoever cares less'

I agree. When 2 people become bf/gf, whichever party that cares less will control the relationship. Because the other party will be jealous, want to get more attention, working hard to make the relationship strong.

You can turn the tables around, if now you CHOOSE to care less and don't give a fuck (I mean, give her fucks but don't give a damn:D), then in the end she will be the one trying to cling to you and wondering why you are so cold hearted you bad boy! ha ha

[tshirt]

Nan ren bu huai, nv ren bu ai
:cool:

[1118]

just like her go, your relationship with her will never be the same anymore. we can forgive but we can't forget. you will remember this incident everytime you quarrel. i have similar experiences with my ex also. why some guys deserved to be punched in the face.

MOVE ON!

[TCH1975]

u shouldnt dump her, if she can attract another guy means she at least is those kind of buay pai gal, suggest to continue fucking her and ignore wat she do, then in the meantime hunt for another gal who truly deserves u... :D

Strongly agree with above.

If i'm the victim, i'll get her to swing with couples or 3P.
Why waste her talent? You got more pussies to fuck n she can get fucking infront of me than behind my back.
No more lying. Honest n Open. No more heart aches.

Choices:
1: If u don't mind then marry her n let her continue her way.
2: Otherwise do as alan0338 suggested.
3: If above don't apply just let go.

Mostly likey u will choose "1". Because it is Already in Practice...
Then why grief over the choice? Only reason could be u are not in the real world n living in imagination/illusion.

No offence to drinkers e.g. i personally dislike tiger beer but many people loves drinking it n make tiger rich n self poorer. Similar situation...

[sadbaby]

as a girl, Assuming she is the normal nice girl and not the kind of bitches who knows how to use her assets to get what she want, I feel that perhaps its the first time she was faced with temptation, and she was probably infatuated with the new guy other than you, her bf, since she got together with you 5 years ago.

Its easy to forget how nice a person is and take the person for granted after a long time otgether. and all along she probably thoguht she has the upper hand and the decision to stay or leave, until the day you gave her the ultimatum that you want to break up, that her fairy tale bubble burst and she realise she will lose you for good.

My take is.. give her a chance.

its not easy to find someone who matches you and loves you for who you are, but its easy for a person to make a mistake. and its up to you to give her a chance..

all the best.

[Meow^^]

In this world. What really makes a human beings to die for? Money? Love? or....you can name it...different pepole different perceptions.

Ask yourself. What type of person are you. Rational or emotional?

People with rational thinking, she would had been long gone even she kick start her first try. As for emotional, you are there to stay and get hurt real bad....You already have all the questions answered here and also by yourself.

Now, the final answer which you are struggling to action it. You know what is right and what is wrong. You just hesitate to let it go. We are not you and being you I know it's not just let go mean let go. But there will be a point where you finally wake up and decided it's enough and you will let it go.

Here, I wish you all e best with whateva decision you going to make....last but not least, Time will heal....:)

[Toshiya]

had a similar experience couple of months back...

Found out that she slept with another guy behind my back and it was only a casual affair.

Deep down, she's someone special that I never thought would cheat on me but I kept my emotion in check and start to exercise logic.

Eventually, I decide that it's time to move on and I'm getting outta this shit.

When a woman cheat on man, it could totally kill off the man's self esteem but always remind yourself what's your worth.

Remember her mistakes may be forgiven but not forgotten. Consciously or subconsciously, you would still be reminded on this incident. Ironically, there are certain things which you may not be able to control but it will affect you one way or another.

Try visualizing what's life gonna be like once you guys got back together. What are your reaction gonna be like when her phone rang? Are you able to trust her wholeheartedly again or would you tired yourself out trying to?

Don't try to convince yourself that she's special and made you feel the way no other girls had done before. That's your idealization of this relationship but did this idealization of yours come with infidelity? I'm sure it didn't.

Ultimately, still your call bro. Good luck, hope you get over this soon.:)

[Showcase]

No you shouldn't.

[uncaringheart]

Just move on.
Just cut all contacts. Soon you will get over it.

[seahaa62]

IMHO, hard to trust her. Find another GF and move on

[nehnehhh]

i know its hard, but its time to move on

[Austere]

I would like to revise with you TS, the social system of singapore

With common sense, Women and men cheating on each other is not accepted but people still do it and there isn't really a legal punishment.

In the current western society which plays a huge influence in our law, when it comes to relationships, men cheat on women , men are jerks. Women cheat on men, men either not good on bed or not treating her good enough.

So before marriage, u got the power to kick her

After marriage, u got one year for annulment. after that... Bro, it's her game.

U think carefully, do u think a relationship is stronger before marriage or after. By stronger I mean, emotionally and faithfully. Or will it die out , which increases the tendency of seeking an affair again.

My advice to u is , unless u also cheat or intend to cheat or have already cheated on her before, I highly doubt u can live with her as your gf or even your wife.

It is human nature, we truely forgive others by seeing ourselves in them, if not u can never forgive her subconsciously.

Btw I am not asking u to cheat hor, if u good man no play cheat code one, please remain that way , heaven got eyes , other good girls also got eyes. You won't have lack of choices

[lettfly]

She appears to be a compulsive liar.

It appears therefore she cannot be trusted or depended upon.

Marriage is a big step.

Implore within what you think of the current situation, then what you feel. You need to be able to distinguish between the two. Do not be clouded by mixing the two.

If you can forgive, even whilst not forgetting ask if you will be truly happy now, tomorrow, next week, following month, coming years.

Weigh all the above, decide on a course of action and move along.

Set a target/timeline for things to work out the way you think it should.

Evaluate the situation but never forget the BiG picture.

It could very well be happy ever after henceforth but it could also turn ugly, bring you anger and depression.

Stand firm as a man even if you face the latter. Know you did your best always and walk away chin up, head high.

You will be a better man. You will meet someone more deserving. Know that as a fact.

Ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone.

The world is your oyster, the future your potential, the possibilities only you can realise.

Good luck!

[Megatronzombie]

thanks to all bros who shared your opinions and suggestions here.

bro megatronzombie, seems like u been thru it all and can tell from your first-hand experience. can i know when u decided to give her another chance after catching her for the 2nd time, how was the feeling? did things get better that u decided to take her as your wife? through-out these yrs, wat kind of feelings do u get? do u feel very tired always being suspicious? or does the feeling actually slowly fade away. did u ever love her again? or was it just for the sake of being together.

there's so many questions in my head that has no answer unless i try it out. but then again, the risk of getting hurt again just stops me from doing anything.



darn really sorry bro TS, i hardly come on SBf and didnt know you were asking me questions, next time just pm me.

hmmm the feeling when i forgave her? a mixture of love, fear, and new possibilities? Thats what i can remember. The hurt feeling did stayed with me until now but it doesnt really affect me anymore. There were times in the first couple of years i get very upset when i recall the incidents but not anymore...maybe one day it will just dissappear who knows? but yes I was still suspicious, who wont be? I sometimes monitor her very closely but not choking close la. She settled down a lot since we have kids and focus only on the kids.. sometimes more on the kids than me ;p

As for love yes i do still love her and perhaps maybe more now. The sex with a gorgeous woman helps haha! She maintain her look and body even after giving birth. Recently I have been making her hornier so that she is fully satisfied and wont stray hahahhahah side effect is i am also satisfied too ;p

[jnudes]

Just get a new one or stay single like me.....just because you been together for 5 years it does not mean she won't cheat you....men do cheat...now its the ladies turn....personally i can't take it and will ask her to FO and live a single life like what i am doing now....go to travel few times a year and enjoy...have absolute freedom...now i truly understand why life is a bitch.

[Castrol]

the best way now is for all of them to have a 3p session, so its fair to everybody.

[Get1Cow]

Any update from TS?