Should i get married?

[TenSanYi]

I am only 26years old this year but my Gf is a msian 2 year older than me, we have been relationship for 2 years and she want to get married asap and I really love her.

The problem is I am a low income earner and currently my job is unstable might face dismissal anytime (due to did not achieve company sales target), further more I required to foot a high amount of bill need to be pay monthly include supporting my mother. Good potential jobs opportunity are very rare nowadays and my qualification isn't high. she is only holding a work permit working as a retails and doesn't earn much as well..

My gf is not ugly but I am ugly and fat, she even doesn't mind I am poor. Some time I am really very worried that I am unable to support her and might drag her down with me. I know that I am still young but I think she is kinda rush on this and probably might leave me if I were to delay our marriage.

I am feeling very guilty and stressful about this issues for the past 3 months and really hasn't been sleeping well.

Please kindly try not to flame me, I am just another stressful Singaporean :(

[Ken79]

TS bro, the worst thing to do is rejecting her and not giving her any specific reasons.
You should tell her all your concerns and worries that u mentioned here, let her weight the situation and decide does she still dare to marry u and go through this together or leave u.

But i assume she's serious about the r/s, u guys should plot a road map of career path first, towards financial stability.
How to upgrade yourselves through courses, after which change jobs with better prospects, how long u allow yourselves to achieve this.
I would assume 2-3 years as a realistic timeline.

After which then talk about marriage which is going to involve a lot of money, so better do something about your income first in order not to have so much problems in the long run, buy house, renovate, kids, aging parents are all serious expenditures.

[topcook1]

The answer is no if you not ready . You must be mentally prepare she will break off with you .

[mevius]

Go with ur feelings bro , maybe can go rom first ??

[diputs1269]

TS painted a picture of having financial, no job prospect and bleak future.
Furthermore not nice looking and your girlfriend is older, facing with
multiple problems yet she wants to marry you?
Sorry to say that she is attracted to your Singapore citizenship
therefore you should not marry! Reason being not compatible :mad:

[jnudes]

Just remain single. No point to proceed due to financial worries. Like what other bro said is the SG citizenship she is eyeing for. Ask yourself is she really genuine? She still want to be with you although you are fat and ugly. What is she up to? Better break and remain friends with her.

[Ho-Lee]

Ok just ask her if she mind going for traditional marriage in Malaysia but no signing on legal papers.Lots of couples did this there too. See what she says.

[sbclove69]

I agree with Bro Ken79.

Another factor to consider she is 28 already. Women at that age like to settle down before hitting 30. She might also be worried that if you guys drag on for a few more years and you eventually break off, she is past the magical number of 30.

So take Bro Ken79 advise and sit down discuss with her your worries as well as listen to hers.

[TenSanYi]

I did share with her my problem and concerns and she do understand about it. Presently I am taking my part time study in Dip which is one of the reason for my monthly bills although I really want to take up a Degree asap but financial wise is very unstable.



TS bro, the worst thing to do is rejecting her and not giving her any specific reasons.
You should tell her all your concerns and worries that u mentioned here, let her weight the situation and decide does she still dare to marry u and go through this together or leave u.

But i assume she's serious about the r/s, u guys should plot a road map of career path first, towards financial stability.
How to upgrade yourselves through courses, after which change jobs with better prospects, how long u allow yourselves to achieve this.
I would assume 2-3 years as a realistic timeline.

After which then talk about marriage which is going to involve a lot of money, so better do something about your income first in order not to have so much problems in the long run, buy house, renovate, kids, aging parents are all serious expenditures.

[TenSanYi]

Eh bro, she got other Sinkies guy wanna woo her as well lei... somemore financial wise much strong than me.. so I don't think is really about Singapore citizenship bah??


TS painted a picture of having financial, no job prospect and bleak future.
Furthermore not nice looking and your girlfriend is older, facing with
multiple problems yet she wants to marry you?
Sorry to say that she is attracted to your Singapore citizenship
therefore you should not marry! Reason being not compatible :mad:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Eh bro, she got other Sinkies guy wanna woo her as well lei... somemore financial wise much strong than me.. so I don't think is really about Singapore citizenship bah??
Ever tot if she was wif u, she'll be in CONTROL but wif those more financially sound guys, she'll be CONTROLLED:rolleyes:

[Mr_don_juan]

I am only 26years old this year but my Gf is a msian 2 year older than me, we have been relationship for 2 years and she want to get married asap and I really love her.

The problem is I am a low income earner and currently my job is unstable might face dismissal anytime (due to did not achieve company sales target), further more I required to foot a high amount of bill need to be pay monthly include supporting my mother. Good potential jobs opportunity are very rare nowadays and my qualification isn't high. she is only holding a work permit working as a retails and doesn't earn much as well..

My gf is not ugly but I am ugly and fat, she even doesn't mind I am poor. Some time I am really very worried that I am unable to support her and might drag her down with me. I know that I am still young but I think she is kinda rush on this and probably might leave me if I were to delay our marriage.

I am feeling very guilty and stressful about this issues for the past 3 months and really hasn't been sleeping well.

Please kindly try not to flame me, I am just another stressful Singaporean :(

You be taking the biggest risk and commit to a girl whom you be betting on will be the love of your life for the rest of your life. Marriage is about wanting kids, which perpetuates the human race and helps in increasing our poor nation birthrate. In order to raise a child, you need to work harder and progress well in your work together as one. Both of you will need to bear responsibilites and be committed in creating a family of your own.

So it's a personal choice, noone can tell you whether it's wrong or if it's right for you. It's like lottery sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Just make sure that the girl you are going to marry, is the girl you truly want to be with for the rest of your life. And you will have to get along very well with her parents.

It’s all on you bro. You are ultimately responsible for all things that happen to you. Stay unmarried until you are sure that you want babies. Do everything you want to do first and enjoy your life, improve your career etc, just my 2 cents worth :D

[diputs1269]

Eh bro, she got other Sinkies guy wanna woo her as well lei... somemore financial wise much strong than me.. so I don't think is really about Singapore citizenship bah??

Have you ever ponder and ask her why the sudden rush to get married,
if she knows of your financial burden. Supposing if both of you get married,
you think how long can you sustain your marriage if you lose your job?
Hope that day will never come or happen.

Fate will decide whether you can be with her or not.

[xpinkyx-moment]

I guess u two can set a date , and start planning future ,set a goal , and work together to archive .
Let her know what you think , talk to her. Sit down and Discuss .

as Letting her wait endlessly for an ans , will let you two have pressures .

As you said , you are not good looking , and poor , I believe she loves u is not base on ur money/look/citizenship . So I believe she is someone u should treasure la .

If really not compatible , I think you know what I mean la ..

[wells]

like one bro mentioned, ROM first. keep cost low...then plan wedding dinner once you got your budget. plan step by step la and stable your career first.

still the same word, "if she yours she yours".;)

[TenSanYi]

like one bro mentioned, ROM first. keep cost low...then plan wedding dinner once you got your budget. plan step by step la and stable your career first.

still the same word, "if she yours she yours".;)

Ya thanks for the advice, perhaps can ROM first and meanwhile carry on my part time study till degree and see how the job market goes...

[hardworking48]

I think she is serious about you, so you should either go ROM first or straightaway get married in a simple way without spending too much.

Sometimes, as a couple, it can be good to work hard together and grow together. Since already 28, it can be quite late liao for the girl. So, if you love the girl, then just get married and then work really hard to get your dip and also better job later.

[thomko]

msian gf is a good choice, go get married, later migrate there low cost of living but travel in out sg work.. your salary become big.

[Flinger2]

I agree with Bro Ken.

Also want to highlight that it is difficult to find a girl who is compatible with you and understand you no matter what status you are.

True love is not easy to find, but be sure that she loves you and you love her.

Also one final thing, sit down and have a heart to heart down about expectations after marriage. One of the biggest thing that leads to marriage break up is expectations after marriage.

Make sure you understand her expectation and you are ok with it and she understands your expectations and she is ok with.

Good Luck.

[TenSanYi]

msian gf is a good choice, go get married, later migrate there low cost of living but travel in out sg work.. your salary become big.

Yes, perhaps when I old then I will go msia and retired. The cost of living in Singapore is too high even though got good safety but pointless if my pocket without money... I wouldn't want to sell tissue paper or collecting cardboard when I am cold, that kinda pathetic...:(

[TenSanYi]

Actually I did share with her what are the problems I am facing and she doesn't mind at all (that the most guilty part) I rather she get pissed off or something at least I wouldn't feel so guilty. :(

I guess u two can set a date , and start planning future ,set a goal , and work together to archive .
Let her know what you think , talk to her. Sit down and Discuss .

as Letting her wait endlessly for an ans , will let you two have pressures .

As you said , you are not good looking , and poor , I believe she loves u is not base on ur money/look/citizenship . So I believe she is someone u should treasure la .

If really not compatible , I think you know what I mean la ..

[sherny]

Marriage is really more about having kids. And to have kids really really need to be financially ok otherwise super stressful. If no plan to have kid, then no point marrying. Just live together lovingly and working together for a better future. When ready to have kids, just go marry and have kids. my 2 cents advice. :)

[thomko]

Yes, perhaps when I old then I will go msia and retired. The cost of living in Singapore is too high even though got good safety but pointless if my pocket without money... I wouldn't want to sell tissue paper or collecting cardboard when I am cold, that kinda pathetic...:(

i have friends married to msian girls, they are more down to Earth....go with your heart..good luck bro.

[c4mel]

Actually I did share with her what are the problems I am facing and she doesn't mind at all (that the most guilty part) I rather she get pissed off or something at least I wouldn't feel so guilty. :(

Hey bro, I'm guessing you feel guilty cos you feel you cannot provide for her materially? Perhaps it would be good to share with her your feelings of guilt?
Also, you're already doing a part time Dip so in the future things may change for the better and you could provide for her?

Sorry for posing so many qns to u. I think it's good to ponder marriage seriously as it is a lifetime commitment. Working thru the issues and each other's feelings now will help u in the future if u decide to marry.

[joncheong]

I hope this malaysian girl is not selling cosmetics at orchard road...and know you through some social networking app..keke

[thomko]

i have friends married to msian girls, they are more down to Earth....go with your heart..good luck bro.

someone zap me say Dont BLuff.. this is true story.. most of them married sporeans whose salary is 2k...o level or ite..not bluffing cos nothing to bluff....

[thomko]

Bro, how come your points from healthy positive to negative apples now:eek:

ya bro, got zapped on de authorized scammer post...so i cant post realtime, will be slow nowadays to post.

[thomko]

thks to bro topcook1 n bro surbana very very much for up me back to positive..

[ImaLoner]

U should ~ if u found happiness

[HyperV]

Actually I did share with her what are the problems I am facing and she doesn't mind at all (that the most guilty part) I rather she get pissed off or something at least I wouldn't feel so guilty. :(

bro good for you, you seems find a good lover, just get ROM and plan for your future :D

[porscheclub]

Just engage first. Invite both families & do a 2 tables kind of dinner that won't break your bank.

But if ROM means legally married = same kind of shit when you want to divorce later & yes, do marry only if you want kids (family) which you cannot support now. So watch your gugubird & don't make her pregnant in the next 24 months!

I would think it's best for you to hold on 2-3years till your career is stable & you can have all the women you want but true love is tough to find so search your heart on this. Nothing wrong with getting married below 30 & women are fine to have babies over 35 so don't rush & be pressured to get married. It's one of the most important signature in one's life.

[Wintermelontea]

bro,

if you are the one for her, die die she will wait and support you...like they always say "behind every successful man is a great woman". is she that woman for you? both should know the answer.


a man must have his career first and foremost. then comes loyalty to his family...country (hmmm...).


talk to her and set realistic targets together, keeping in view the marriage as well as finances of the new setup (marriage). ask her what she is able to contribute towards this marriage, be it finances etc. be practical and do not buy in the idea of "useless" stuff like honeymoon, expensive photoshoots or hotel banquet and stuff. make do with simple and affordable packages to both parties.


when times are better, reward yourselves. till then, survive this round. no point talking about the luxuries if you both can't even make do at present moment.


good luck!

[joncheong]

Just engage first. Invite both families & do a 2 tables kind of dinner that won't break your bank.

But if ROM means legally married = same kind of shit when you want to divorce later & yes, do marry only if you want kids (family) which you cannot support now. So watch your gugubird & don't make her pregnant in the next 24 months!

I would think it's best for you to hold on 2-3years till your career is stable & you can have all the women you want but true love is tough to find so search your heart on this. Nothing wrong with getting married below 30 & women are fine to have babies over 35 so don't rush & be pressured to get married. It's one of the most important signature in one's life.

dun need to watch gugubird la...wear cap loh haha...or take pills....ROM le sure must bang and enjoy liao...mutual enjoyment...

[TenSanYi]

Lol yes she is selling cosmetics at orchard and I was the one who source the job for her but before that I already knew her via face to face when she was working as a hairdresser.


I hope this malaysian girl is not selling cosmetics at orchard road...and know you through some social networking app..keke

[joncheong]

Lol yes she is selling cosmetics at orchard and I was the one who source the job for her but before that I already knew her via face to face when she was working as a hairdresser.

Good luck.....lol

[ebaby]

Lol yes she is selling cosmetics at orchard and I was the one who source the job for her but before that I already knew her via face to face when she was working as a hairdresser.

bro dont think too much, just go on cheers :p

[-SBF-]

I am only 26years old this year but my Gf is a msian 2 year older than me, we have been relationship for 2 years and she want to get married asap and I really love her.

The problem is I am a low income earner and currently my job is unstable might face dismissal anytime (due to did not achieve company sales target), further more I required to foot a high amount of bill need to be pay monthly include supporting my mother. Good potential jobs opportunity are very rare nowadays and my qualification isn't high. she is only holding a work permit working as a retails and doesn't earn much as well..

My gf is not ugly but I am ugly and fat, she even doesn't mind I am poor. Some time I am really very worried that I am unable to support her and might drag her down with me. I know that I am still young but I think she is kinda rush on this and probably might leave me if I were to delay our marriage.

I am feeling very guilty and stressful about this issues for the past 3 months and really hasn't been sleeping well.

Please kindly try not to flame me, I am just another stressful Singaporean :(


You can always ROM, give yourself 3 to 4 year and the most you are only 30. That not old.

I gone thru this, trust me, Before 30 hardworking for money, after 30 use money hardworking for you.

[thomko]

Lol yes she is selling cosmetics at orchard and I was the one who source the job for her but before that I already knew her via face to face when she was working as a hairdresser.

best of all de good luck bro... be happy...

[pleasurehobby]

I heard the divorce rate now is 1/3.. this is quite a scary numbers. means one out of 3 man needs to feed their ex wife?