Should I walk away or stay...

[Iamlost]

I am 34 this year and have been married with my wife which is 1 yr older than me for 7 yrs now. We have a lovely son coming to 3 yrs old now. Met my wife right after army and we went overseas uni together, worked and got married after 6 yrs together. This is my 1st serious relationship. Even up to the wedding day, I wasn't really sure if I love her and I guess I made the mistake of marrying her out of a sense of responsibility. Looks wise she is considered above average except tat her figure is not tat good. Bottom heavy kind but not fat. She came from a rich family but does not mind my poor family background. 1st few yrs of our married life has been ok, except for the occational though of why do I get married soooo.... Young when I did not even have any fun yet.
Things got worst after our son came.... Actually we didn't want a child at all but because of her father's health, she wanted to let her father be a grandfather b4 he goes. So right after I finished my 4 yrs work training and beginning to be able to enjoy the fruit of my job, we had a child. She became a stay hm mum because she wanted to spend more time with the child and my job is able to provide for us all with abt 2-3k excess per month. We have been quarreling ever since the child is here and this add on to the thought of why do I get married so early and become a father so early. We begin to drift further apart and I begin to cant stand being with her. Actually she is a low mantainance wife even though she came from a rich family. Hardly goes shopping and I even had to ask to go shop for new clothes kind. As a mother she is good but as a wife, I dun find her attractive anymore and sex become lesser and lesser. Not because she rejects me, in fact 80% of the time she would agree to sex and giving me blowjobs. Jus that sex is no longer interesting for me with her. Cut the long story short, after many many many quarrels over family matters and a few times of mentioning divorce. It finally got serious.

3 days ago, after the quarrel, she told me that she wanted to move back to her mother place with my son and let me have my life back. She even says she will sell the condo tat her mum gave her and use it to support the 2 of them and let me have the HDB flat. Not too sure abt the having to pay her anything or wat. Jus that she realized tat we r kind of in a loveless marriage now.
So now, I am in a fix..... Should I take the chance and leave this loveless marriage and start living the life that I want? On the other hand, I love my son a lot and dun want him to grow up without a father.
Should I take this chance to leave and start my life again.... But be a lousy father for the rest of my life or should I stay in this loveless marriage for the sake of my son. We r both still young and attractive and dun think we would have any problem finding a partner at all. Provided either if us still want to get married....

Bros, pls give me yr advises....
This thought is really killing me....

[jnudes]

I am 34 this year and have been married with my wife which is 1 yr older than me for 7 yrs now. We have a lovely son coming to 3 yrs old now. Met my wife right after army and we went overseas uni together, worked and got married after 6 yrs together. This is my 1st serious relationship. Even up to the wedding day, I wasn't really sure if I love her and I guess I made the mistake of marrying her out of a sense of responsibility. Looks wise she is considered above average except tat her figure is not tat good. Bottom heavy kind but not fat. She came from a rich family but does not mind my poor family background. 1st few yrs of our married life has been ok, except for the occational though of why do I get married soooo.... Young when I did not even have any fun yet.
Things got worst after our son came.... Actually we didn't want a child at all but because of her father's health, she wanted to let her father be a grandfather b4 he goes. So right after I finished my 4 yrs work training and beginning to be able to enjoy the fruit of my job, we had a child. She became a stay hm mum because she wanted to spend more time with the child and my job is able to provide for us all with abt 2-3k excess per month. We have been quarreling ever since the child is here and this add on to the thought of why do I get married so early and become a father so early. We begin to drift further apart and I begin to cant stand being with her. Actually she is a low mantainance wife even though she came from a rich family. Hardly goes shopping and I even had to ask to go shop for new clothes kind. As a mother she is good but as a wife, I dun find her attractive anymore and sex become lesser and lesser. Not because she rejects me, in fact 80% of the time she would agree to sex and giving me blowjobs. Jus that sex is no longer interesting for me with her. Cut the long story short, after many many many quarrels over family matters and a few times of mentioning divorce. It finally got serious.

3 days ago, after the quarrel, she told me that she wanted to move back to her mother place with my son and let me have my life back. She even says she will sell the condo tat her mum gave her and use it to support the 2 of them and let me have the HDB flat. Not too sure abt the having to pay her anything or wat. Jus that she realized tat we r kind of in a loveless marriage now.
So now, I am in a fix..... Should I take the chance and leave this loveless marriage and start living the life that I want? On the other hand, I love my son a lot and dun want him to grow up without a father.
Should I take this chance to leave and start my life again.... But be a lousy father for the rest of my life or should I stay in this loveless marriage for the sake of my son. We r both still young and attractive and dun think we would have any problem finding a partner at all. Provided either if us still want to get married....

Bros, pls give me yr advises....
This thought is really killing me....

Bro, I never got married in real life and don't really have that experience you are going through now. However, I do know few people who are going through what you are experiencing now.

First is one close friend I know for more than twenty years. He is not really happy with his sex life as his wife could not give him blowjob in the first place as she claimed it was dirty. Then more problem shows up. His wife could not get along and always quarrel with my friend's siblings, sibling's wives and children. He even told me once he regretted of choosing and marrying her, and he only knew her for 3.5 years only before marriage. In order for his marriage to stay alive he remained very patient until today.

Second is my friend's cousin. She got married with him when both are 25 years old. The first two years both have one girl and boy. Third year the husband changed, go to pub often and came home late and neglect the family. Then they got separated and later divorce. And the father don't really care about the children at all. They both knew each other during their uni days. I did not know the husband personally and he sounds more like regretted getting married early and decide to go out for fun outside after marriage.

In your case sounds like there is no money issue involved in your story as most couple does. She could support you financially when you are still in the marriage. However, I'm not so sure if you can have that financial advantage after you divorced. 60% of couple divorce because of money issues. And in your case is just constant quarrel and sex getting less interesting.

I admit man like myself don't like to try one woman for entire life. So curi makan outside for a while. And you must get fed up with her after so many rounds with her. That's normal for every guy. Ask yourself if you divorce with her and later you be poor again and complaints money no enough spend, so how? Your wife can get remarried again if she wants to and even hire a gigolo to satisfy her if she wants to.

Yours are rather an isolated case, I think. If follow the younger days sure the husband will not divorce and stay in the marriage for the sake of children. And the husband will cheat outside and have fun behind the wife's back. If follow the current situation divorce is the only way out as I believe your wife is also seeking for fun and freedom too. But as I mentioned earlier, once you divorced and get your freedom you may not enjoy the financial advantage. So think wisely as you came from poor family background.

[Icecreamsoda]

Hi TS,

Think its common for most people to experience what u r gg thru. It's easy to get into a r/s but challenging to actually stay in one. Truth is a r/s is what u choose to put in to realize what u hope for rather than start one and then hope it stays rosy forever.

It's common for sex and feelings to feel dull after a while. No matter how excited u r when u first get a new car, u will eventually find urself finding excuses to look elsewhere as time goes by. Everyone stays in a r/s for different reasons, but ultimately, is what matters to u that's impt. After all there's no promises ur next r/s would be any better right ? Family issues wise, I think its tricky but still solvable, as long as both parties r willing to commit to a common solution.

Like what the other bro said, if u really feel sex is bad but u r not prepared to leave ur family over such issue, maybe u can consider having some commercial ECA outside to satisfy that portion?

Maybe it's the fact that I had 2 failed engagements so I envy those with a family. But eventually, no right or wrong, u know ur Life best and what u want
;)

Just take time to think carefully before u decide. After that, don't look back le.

[Greendevil]

Bro divorce, then meet new girl, have a year or two fun, marry again, got children and go back round one.

The truth is, this is a process that all goes thru. You just need to tune your process to suit you better. you think you miss out the fun, but when u 45, your kid grown up no need you to worry whereas your friend struggling with children o level and blah blah blah problem, u enjoy life with money in your pocket. It just you work first then enjoy later that all.

If you are going to divorce because you are BORED then better pay your lawyer 2 x fees now cos few years later you be back looking for the lawyer. By then lawyer rate goes up Liao.

[Iamlost]

Thks bro for hearing me and giving me advise. I guess for my case its more of wanting for have more fun like getting to know more girls and enjoy the courtship process. Not so much of jus pure sex. My job allows me to meet many young girls and in fact the past 3 yrs, girls have initiated to hit on me but I always hold back due to the fact tat im married. Wat I cant stand abt her is tat she doesnt do any housework even though she doesnt need to work now and I have been the one doing it. Dun think she wanna have fun cos she is jus content with staying at hn and read and play games. As for if we do divorce, she will not have problem financially and I guess I will do ok since I am drawing more than 10k per month. So it all goes down to if I wanna be self fish and leave to enjoy a single life or stay for my son and then be unhappily married.... the temptations of the fun and girls r really strong. Really wonder how those guys managed to stay faithful. ..

[hardworking48]

Don't be just a freaking selfish asshole and let your kids grow up without a father. You should also take the responsibility of being a husband and stop finding fault with your wife. YOu married her, then you dump her? She's not a car that you can change. Don't always follow the old excuse of "no love anymore" and use that to leave your kids and wife. No such thing as love love love forever one. Now you should do your job as a husband and father.

As for the fun part, if you cannot tahan, you can go and have fun but make sure you always come home and clean your mouth after you eat. Don't be a freaking asshole again and bring home your gf.

Once your kids grow up, and you see yr grandchildren, I'm sure you will be thankful for this decision you make. I have seen this situation happen to my relative in real life, so I know what I am talking about. Go think about it.

[jnudes]

Thks bro for hearing me and giving me advise. I guess for my case its more of wanting for have more fun like getting to know more girls and enjoy the courtship process. Not so much of jus pure sex. My job allows me to meet many young girls and in fact the past 3 yrs, girls have initiated to hit on me but I always hold back due to the fact tat im married. Wat I cant stand abt her is tat she doesnt do any housework even though she doesnt need to work now and I have been the one doing it. Dun think she wanna have fun cos she is jus content with staying at hn and read and play games. As for if we do divorce, she will not have problem financially and I guess I will do ok since I am drawing more than 10k per month. So it all goes down to if I wanna be self fish and leave to enjoy a single life or stay for my son and then be unhappily married.... the temptations of the fun and girls r really strong. Really wonder how those guys managed to stay faithful. ..

Based on your posting I am assuming both you and your wife are good looking in real life. Am I rite? Since you are good looking and earn big bucks I truly understand the temptation is really high. Although your wife is low maintenance its sad to hear your wife is so lazy that she could not do any house work. At least she could try to do housework and help the husband out.

To be honest I can't stand with this kind of woman in long term. She must be badly pampered from young age due to her rich background. As your son grows up he will be badly pampered by her too. I have been hearing this over and over again, looks like pampering has become new culture for the current society. And the long term effect will be bad for the son, in my opinion.

I had met some couple like yours in real life, I am talking about handsome husband and beautiful wife here. And usually their marriage will not last more than 10 years, which means 90% of them ended in divorce. And the 10% usually with the husband or wife (one of them) will play the role of victim, pretend to be dumb and deaf, although they know their partner is cheating outside with regular unfinished quarrels.

[porscheclub]

First victim is your son. If you choose to divorce then make sure you can have ample time with him & be able to make decisions that'll affect his life like schools, tuitions etc. which also affects your pocket cos she'll be claiming from you.

From the way you post I must say, welcome to the club :D

You've kept clean but not for long even if you salvage this marriage as temptation beckons! 10-15years later when you son grows up, you'll still enter the gates of hell. It's your choice really, keep the marriage & the family but soon you'll have having ECA, office flings etc. The guilt thing? Forget it.

We always say that a man will stray either early or later part of his life so it's better to have fun young than when you're a grandfather which happens!

Ok now the angel words. Sounds like the two of you need counselling. Sit down with her for some sessions of quality talk without the son. See a specialist if need to then trash out all the unhappiness between the two & you'll be surprised she's probably as angry as you. Then work together for happiness, take time out without the kid & date like lovers, enjoy short holidays, overnight in local hotels with some steamy sex. It'll take two to clap & treat her like a princess or whore is up to you people. Unleash the mistress in her if you can ;)

You can always buy her little presents to surprise her. Nice lingerie & dresses, perfume will be nice too.

You know what's your problem? You got successful, with that comes temptations & girls want to leech on you. Imagine if you're with a low paying job, taking MRT & all?

If you are willing to put down all & restart everything to have the fun in life? Then go ahead, press the button & don't look back, live like a thorough playboy but one day you may regret. Otherwise, turn back now to salvage the marriage & delete this forum from your mind.

We cannot tell you what to do because only you have the key ;)

[Castrol]

Bros, pls give me yr advises....
This thought is really killing me....

bro from what i read, it seems to be all about you.
if you walk away, you will be what many people label as; a fucking bastard.

i dont know what family matters caused the quarrels, well you didnt say,
but what is an eye sore is that you dont find her attractive anymore (pun not intended) and you wanna do something about it.

[Beasty]

Don't be just a freaking selfish asshole and let your kids grow up without a father. You should also take the responsibility of being a husband and stop finding fault with your wife. YOu married her, then you dump her? She's not a car that you can change. Don't always follow the old excuse of "no love anymore" and use that to leave your kids and wife. No such thing as love love love forever one. Now you should do your job as a husband and father.

As for the fun part, if you cannot tahan, you can go and have fun but make sure you always come home and clean your mouth after you eat. Don't be a freaking asshole again and bring home your gf.

Once your kids grow up, and you see yr grandchildren, I'm sure you will be thankful for this decision you make. I have seen this situation happen to my relative in real life, so I know what I am talking about. Go think about it.

Go out and have fun with other girls behind your wife back is not selfish? :confused: Wonder how many women can tolerate their husband fooling around outside.

[afoosm]

Do you think you're perfect? Aren't you her first too? With her profile and background, could she not have found someone better than you? And yet she chose you and had a child with you. Don't forget that and don't forget your wedding vows. You have a choice not just to leave but also to make things better and recreate that spark. If not for fulfilling your vows, then at least to be a responsible dad.

[chanster]

Maintain with your wife since you love your son alot . This Is call responsibility .. Always can still once in awhile to eat outside one ma .. Or u everyday must have sex

[DO_YOU_BJ]

There's something called marriage
There's something call fucking
There's something called making love
There's something called having a family together
There's something called growing old together
From your 1st post, you don't have a clue of the above 5 I just mentioned
But if all your reasoning is based on purely carnal, then you're better off divorcing her and let her get a RESPONSIBLE MAN to take care of her and your kid.
Then you can go off fucking silly like a stray mongrel on the street till you expire away unnoticed in a dark alleyway :D

[Iamlost]

1st thks guys for the bashing... Guess I needed tat....

1st abt responsibility... Up till now, I have tried to be a responsible person. And it was abt being this responsible person tat I married her. She is my 1st girl and nope I wasn't her 1st... She had a 4 yrs relationship b4 she met me. And yes, she has been very supportive all these yrs and it is because I WANT to be responsible and dun want to let her down that I choose to marry her. Which now I wonder if tat was my mistake... Of trying to be a responsible bf.....

B4 marriage, we agreed not to have any child since we both dun really like kids. However she changed her mind because her father had cancer and she want to let him be a grandfather b4 he passed away. So.... I agreed to have the child because I dun wanna let her have any regrets. Immediately after my 4 yrs training, we tried for a child and he came almost immediately within a yr. so... We didn't get to enjoy life even though tat was when I finally start earning >10k per month. B4 we tried for a child, she told me tat I can be totally hands off and she will take care of the child herself. But then... Things was very different after the child came. Whatever free time I had, I spend with them. She says she wanna quit and spend time with son, ok I agreed even though tat means we have to watch our spending once again like b4.... Past 1 yr tat she didn't work, I still have to mop the floor, do laundry, iron my own clothes, settle the bills, settle the car stuff, etc.... I suddenly felt like my life is worst than my father's. cos my mum would cook for my dad, settle the bills, take care of kids, iron his clothes. Ask her to learn cooking so tat we dun have to eat out everyday, she dun like. Ask her to tidy the house, she get angry. Say her clothes abit old Liao, ask her to go buy new clothes, she got offended. Try to get her to excerise with me more, she lazy.

[Iamlost]

As for me... Actually I jus want to come hm to a tidy house and she to maintain her figure and dress up. But I just can't get tat across to her without her feeling angry or hurt.

As she was my 1st serious relationship rite after my army and I have been with her since, I felt tat I have never had fun. Felt tat my whole life has been abt responsibility....

And now, I am getting tired...

On the other hand, there have been quite a few girls of abt 10 yrs younger wanting to hook up with me in the past but I always stay away. Up till now, the temptations is getting really stronger each day. Is it all abt the sex? No... If it is, I can always go find a FL rite. But I long for relationships, activities together, fun. Not just fuck and go.... That's why the struggles tat I feel now.

I know... I need to be a responsible father and husband and I want to do that. But on the other hand, there is this thought tat I am slowly getting old and it seems tat all I am living for is responsibility...

Seriously, I felt envious when I see family so happy together and I always want to ask the guy how does he do tat. Is he truly happy inside? Why doesn't he feel tempted at all? Can any bros tell me.....

[DO_YOU_BJ]

1st thks guys for the bashing... Guess I needed tat....
In a forum, like this, we see tons of people penning down their tots n wat not. It's not called bashing, it's more like a rude awakening for ya.
Read wat I'm am writing you from a father of a child in secondary school liao!

1st abt responsibility... Up till now, I have tried to be a responsible person. And it was abt being this responsible person tat I married her.
This statement shows that ur a very self centered person. U married her cos u wanna b responsible? Ask urself this, did anyone put a gun on ur head to make u marry her or were u coerced into marrying her? U did it on ur own free will. So don't tap urself on ur back n make it seem like u did a noble act by marrying her

She is my 1st girl and nope I wasn't her 1st... She had a 4 yrs relationship b4 she met me.
When you marry someone, you marry her past, good bad or ugly so how many she had before ya really doesn't matter a single bit. Wat probably matters is that she's more experienced than if u were her 1st man

And yes, she has been very supportive all these yrs and it is because I WANT to be responsible and dun want to let her down that I choose to marry her. Which now I wonder if tat was my mistake... Of trying to be a responsible bf.....
Well, if u always look at it from the perspective that 天错地错我永远没有错, then of cos it will look like a mistake la. Then ur tot process would be justified for u portrayed urself as the victim here

B4 marriage, we agreed not to have any child since we both dun really like kids. However she changed her mind because her father had cancer and she want to let him be a grandfather b4 he passed away. So.... I agreed to have the child because I dun wanna let her have any regrets. Immediately after my 4 yrs training, we tried for a child and he came almost immediately within a yr.
U see, again u agreed, just like how u tried to portray urself as RESPONSIBLE, n now u try to find justification that u did it not out of ur own free will. Again trying to play the victim role

so... We didn't get to enjoy life even though tat was when I finally start earning >10k per month. B4 we tried for a child, she told me tat I can be totally hands off and she will take care of the child herself. But then... Things was very different after the child came. Whatever free time I had, I spend with them. She says she wanna quit and spend time with son, ok I agreed even though tat means we have to watch our spending once again like b4.... Past 1 yr tat she didn't work, I still have to mop the floor, do laundry, iron my own clothes, settle the bills, settle the car stuff, etc.... I suddenly felt like my life is worst than my father's. cos my mum would cook for my dad, settle the bills, take care of kids, iron his clothes. Ask her to learn cooking so tat we dun have to eat out everyday, she dun like. Ask her to tidy the house, she get angry. Say her clothes abit old Liao, ask her to go buy new clothes, she got offended. Try to get her to excerise with me more, she lazy.
U earn 10k n u can't even get a maid? Who r u kidding here? 10k can hire easily 2 maids 1 to serve u and wife, the other full time look after ur kid. Payment of bills don't take up very much of ur time fyi & if ur so adamant abt paying the bills.......EVER HEARD OF GIRO?
Some women r just plain couch potato. Many years ago, I tried to take up sports so that my wife cud do wif me. Roller blading. Spent a bomb on them but she gv up after using her 400 bucks blades only twice
Bowling. She gave up after using her HAMMER ball in less than 3 games.
Give her a TV and canto, korean or taiwan TV series, she'll be grand champion.
This part, u shud reflect on urself. U may be trying too hard......sometimes, the beauty of getting married is that u 2 can still live ur own lives but learn to respect each others pref.
Example.....I love steak. Wife loves fish. So how? Ask maid cook fish n steak, so in the end, mission still accomplished. Both tummies r filled. Just a very lame but simple example only.
Next. Wife wants to go shopping. I detest shopping. So what do I do? I send u there, u finish call me I come fetch u. Prob solved. This tension starts cos u try too hard to wanna make 2 of u do things together n when the other isn't game, u get upset. Learn to accept, learn to give n take. Like my kid says, chillax a little dude n life will be much better

As for me... Actually I jus want to come hm to a tidy house and she to maintain her figure and dress up. But I just can't get tat across to her without her feeling angry or hurt.
Who doesn't want their wife to look good n maintain their figure when before they got married? But reality check is very important. How often does that happen? Very rare my friend.

As she was my 1st serious relationship rite after my army and I have been with her since, I felt tat I have never had fun. Felt tat my whole life has been abt responsibility....
That's y u r so screwed up. Got money, dunno how to play, then jump up n down. No.....tat not the way. Go bao yang some chicks, hv some wholesale fun, charge up ur +ve QI n go back home rejuvenated n smiling. That, is called a successful man. Earning lotsa of money doesn't make one successful. Earning lotsa money, knowing how to fulfill ones responsibility, hunger, libido n yet be a good hubby n dad, that's called a successful man.

And now, I am getting tired...
The answer to this is as per wat i wrote above, u self inflicted this. Time to know what to do, how to, when to, when not to & you'll be a very peaceful, fulfilled man.

On the other hand, there have been quite a few girls of abt 10 yrs younger wanting to hook up with me in the past but I always stay away. Up till now, the temptations is getting really stronger each day. Is it all abt the sex? No... If it is, I can always go find a FL rite. But I long for relationships, activities together, fun. Not just fuck and go.... That's why the struggles tat I feel now.
Ever heard of makan liao remember to wipe ur mouth. If they're local, tell them that ur married from the very start. N if anything shud happen after, U DID NOT CHEAT THEM! Remember, never tell them that ur planning to divorce ur wife. So, if u do bed them, they know their place n ur still safe from all the unnecessary repercussions. U nvr promise them a marriage, u told them upfront ur married. 你情我愿

I know... I need to be a responsible father and husband and I want to do that. But on the other hand, there is this thought tat I am slowly getting old and it seems tat all I am living for is responsibility...
This part was replied by the self inflicted stuff above liao. Old? Got money scared no honey?

Seriously, I felt envious when I see family so happy together and I always want to ask the guy how does he do tat. Is he truly happy inside? Why doesn't he feel tempted at all? Can any bros tell me.....
Do u hv any idea how many of those men hv lovers outside or keep women? So their carnal urges n their so called emotional emptiness wif their wife's r fulfilled? That's their secret formula to that happy look. Many here in this forum at my age grp or older know exactly wat I'm talking about.
But then, if they practiced responsibility like u, hell yea, they'll b very very drained n tired just like u.

[Greendevil]

I read your post, felt that you are a very BORING person as well. You say you have no time for fun but you have all the resoucres to have fun which many of us here don't have yet we are having fun.

You have 10K income, yet cant get domestic helper? If don't like indo maid, just get those hourly maid once or twice a week to do your household also can.

Also, since you earn so much, cant you afford to eat out or just pack dinner everyday, and cook on weekend.?


You want your wife to maintain figure, then be a bit romantic, buy her a Maria France voucher as a gift on a special occasion. She bond have to use it, whether facial or slimming also good rite?

Bills, there are internet banking, GIRO, AXN, SAMS, so many options and all those can do during lunch time, 5-10 min of your time. Really that hard meh. Even petrol kiosk can pay bills for you.

The problem you mention are not a problem to many ppl here. I earning much lesser than you, my wife isn't working too with two kids, yet I can find time go hm, either cook dinner or was the dishes if already prep by wife, weekend do groceries shopping as a family, invite friends to my hse for drinking and get together session and occasionally kaki drinking session, and do things with my car. Bro time management and use your money wisely.

Your wife make a choice and sacrifice to stay home take care kids so tat your son don't call the nanny 'mummy' and call you and your wife uncle and auntie so please appreciate that. Maybe you tried switch role for a while, you think stay home do hsework and take care kids easy also. Take care kids can also be very tiring one too, be a bit more appreciative.

If you are BORED, just need some companionship, get some friends and do a man to man drinking session and pour your misery out. If you cant find any, PM me, I chio you go drink and let you pour your heart out the whole nite, but you pay the bills haha and wont cos you more than 150. LOL

[Squirting]

Bros, pls give me yr advises....
This thought is really killing me....

Bro, the choice is obvious.

Do the correct thing. Stay in the marriage for the sake of your son. Your son do not deserve this, your son is innocent.

When time comes when cannot resist tempatation, just go GL and release & do whatever fetish you want. But dont get caught

Get a sexy young maid to do the housework. Perhaps can even have an affair wtih the maid :p

All the best to you, bro

[Greendevil]

ts last last bo bian resort, go get a sugardaughter since you can afford with your income. here got girl offer few k a month only. they give u good sex with plenty GFE. happy song liao?

[-SBF-]

Bros, pls give me yr advises....
This thought is really killing me....


Love is not about holding hands while you understand each other, its about having many misunderstanding and not leaving each others hands

[Black_Hawk_Up]

if you want to leave someone, there will always be hundreds of reasons. if you want to be with someone, you only need one.

i guess most of us have experience what you go through. some make it through and other break. there is no right and wrong just that by choosing to walk away will you really be happy? as many bros here mentioned, chance are you will end up in the same spot again.

my wife is those always wanting to improve our standard of living type so she keep pushing herself and me. nothing wrong here and we did made some progress. but somehow i didn't like such lifestyle. i prefer to have something easy going and not having to worry about every single day.

so here and there, i will meet some girls with characteristic that my wife doesn't have and i do long to be with them. i blew it once by having an affair. The girl keep asking me to divorce my wife to be with her. further more, she quite well to do so i can just be comfortable with my job and life goes on. she cried almost every time we met. of course i am tempted to move on. in the end, i realize it is leading to no where and i choose to distance myself from the affair. what did i get? nothing but hurting another person due to my selfishness.

lately i met another girl which i admire as although she is not well to do but is very happy with what she have. again, i start to compare her with my wife who is never happy with anything. this time, i pull myself out of the situation before things get worst.

sometime we need to remind our-self that there is no perfect girl as we are full of flaw as well. we tend to think other girls is better then our wife only because we haven fully understand them just like when we make the decision back then your wife is the woman you are able to spend your rest of life with. as the saying goes 人因误解而结合 人因了解而分开...

sorry for the wall of text. but please think carefully of your next step. your wife still love you. i not saying your reasons for leaving are not valid but you are making a mountain out of a mole hole because you are bored of your current lifestyle.

good luck mate no matter what you choose. either choice, you will win some and lose some. weight your choice.

[porscheclub]

This forum is simply amazing. All gathered here for sex yet come together when someone's in need of help. Devils & angels under one roof :o

[-SBF-]

This forum is simply amazing. All gathered here for sex yet come together when someone's in need of help. Devils & angels under one roof :o

We are all here to help and to make love. :p

[Kenjo]

TS, sorry to hear your plight, but u can try to do more to make this marriage works before you wanna call it quits.

1. Do you have any communication problem with your spouse? Come home, ask how is she, about your son, tell her a bit of your day. You know, just normal talk and simple open questions. If her responses are moderate, not raised tone, its good thing. If she just cut you off/ does not bother to reply you, and you feel like your temper is raising when talking to her, just keep quiet, do your own stuff before you try with smaller questions/ conversation topic.

2. Any common hobbies? Instead of asking her to go exercise alone, find a good day, all 3 of you put on track shoes, go for a walk in nearby park, gardens, pinic, zoo, birdparks, etc. You initiate and together with your child. Treat all these as family weekend/ daily short walks/trips. You stay condo, bring her buy a flattening swimsuit which covers her 'ba ba' areas, go have fun with your son in the swimming pool on weekly basis. If no interest in outdoor, then start with shopping as family. Singapore is not lack of shopping centres. Find one where you can find kids, women, men stores. Go out have meals, then shop, instead of asking her to buy her own clothes, bring her to choose, recommend and give suggestions by asking her try and wear out for you to view. Praise if clothes looks nice on her.

3. Late night movies with her alone? Couple time/ dinners? Even short couple trips without your son (let his grandma be happy to keep him with her for a couple of days/ nights).

Base on your earning power, you can easily cover most of the above. You don't have to arrange for short trips yourself, or do it frequently. Tell her want to go a country, ask if she is happy to plan, if not, just do a bit planning yourself. Keep things simple by doing simple stuff for yourself, her, both of you will be happier. You happy, she happy, quarrels will lesser and son will not pick up bad habits, temper, bad words (used during your quarrels), and he will grow up happier too.

If you do not even try a bit on her (I bet she has been cope at home, alone and got bored after so long), how do you know you will not feel loving her at all? If all fails, and communication is the main problem, then calling it quits may be better, just co-share your son with your ex-wife.

After all, most us men's tempers, or even women are shorter these days due to stressful life, all have to slow down in thinking process, find and try for solutions before final big decision which you may regret. If you don't even want to try, then you are just selfish, only want everything you want, might as well go back to your parents' house to stay, have your mum take care of you and you can play around, have your freedom.

[sgman110]

As for me... Actually I jus want to come hm to a tidy house and she to maintain her figure and dress up. But I just can't get tat across to her without her feeling angry or hurt.

As she was my 1st serious relationship rite after my army and I have been with her since, I felt tat I have never had fun. Felt tat my whole life has been abt responsibility....

And now, I am getting tired...

On the other hand, there have been quite a few girls of abt 10 yrs younger wanting to hook up with me in the past but I always stay away. Up till now, the temptations is getting really stronger each day. Is it all abt the sex? No... If it is, I can always go find a FL rite. But I long for relationships, activities together, fun. Not just fuck and go.... That's why the struggles tat I feel now.

I know... I need to be a responsible father and husband and I want to do that. But on the other hand, there is this thought tat I am slowly getting old and it seems tat all I am living for is responsibility...

Seriously, I felt envious when I see family so happy together and I always want to ask the guy how does he do tat. Is he truly happy inside? Why doesn't he feel tempted at all? Can any bros tell me.....

Bro, all adulthood means responsibilities the whole life, from job to families. I got married at an even earlier age than you but I had enjoyed the process of seeing my kids grow up. Every couples argue frequently but finding ways to compromise is what marriage is all about. Your child did not ask to be brought into this world and divorcing is an easy and selfish option by the parents that chose to bring him here.

Just a thought.

[sam30sg]

TS, from what you wrote I can only conclude that you are a selfish person who cares more of your own enjoyment and your lust for knowing younger women you met. I believe it will be better for your wife to leave you.

[sxem]

Hi TS, I cannot say that I understand what you're going through but I can relate to you because I'm going thru something like this, I'm in a situation like you but without the marriage, kids and of cos the salary you're drawing:p

I also met my gf of 3 years after I got out of army and I also yearned to know what it feels like to be with somebody else because the honeymoon feelings die down after awhile and you feel that you're 'falling out of love'. Honestly, I don't feel as physically/sexually attracted to her as much, but I still care and want to take care of her.

And recently my gf was orphaned (We're in our mid 20s) because her dad died young and her mum just passed away early this year, so in a way I am all she has, the only person in this world that she can talk freely to and share her thoughts, if I leave her, thats it, her world will crumble.

Please don't misunderstand that I'm staying with her cos of obligation, the fact that I still care and desire to take care of her is proof enough that this rs can be saved, spark can be reignited but love, once lost, can never be recovered.

When's the last time when you all talked freely about everything? When's the last time you looked into your wife's eyes and say that you love her? You promised to take care of her for the rest of your life didn't you?

All I want to say is TS, you have to make an effort to save your marriage, I can tell that you still love your wife, just talk to her, both of you are just emotionally disconnected.

I'm trying to save my relationship too.

Sorry for the long post, best of luck TS I hope you make the right decision.

[xpinkyx-moment]

As for me... Actually I jus want to come hm to a tidy house and she to maintain her figure and dress up. But I just can't get tat across to her without her feeling angry or hurt.

As she was my 1st serious relationship rite after my army and I have been with her since, I felt tat I have never had fun. Felt tat my whole life has been abt responsibility....

And now, I am getting tired...

On the other hand, there have been quite a few girls of abt 10 yrs younger wanting to hook up with me in the past but I always stay away. Up till now, the temptations is getting really stronger each day. Is it all abt the sex? No... If it is, I can always go find a FL rite. But I long for relationships, activities together, fun. Not just fuck and go.... That's why the struggles tat I feel now.

I know... I need to be a responsible father and husband and I want to do that. But on the other hand, there is this thought tat I am slowly getting old and it seems tat all I am living for is responsibility...

Seriously, I felt envious when I see family so happy together and I always want to ask the guy how does he do tat. Is he truly happy inside? Why doesn't he feel tempted at all? Can any bros tell me.....

Maintain her figure and dress up ?
Who turns her into this day ??
who made her turn old ?

You wanna her maintain her figure and dress up , you can encourage her by go Training together ! Two of u do together , go excercise together and maybe from there u two can build up the Lovely again .

Dun expect her to change in a sudden , or dun expect her to change by jus using a mouth to encourage her to maintain her figure . If this way of encouragement , I tell u no Miracle will happen . Unless the wife is smart enuff , Know how to self love and maintain her body .

Dun expect a person to change for u , if dun do something .

Want her to wear pretty ? Can , go buy clothes together with her , CHOOSE WITH HER , not stand beside and see . Same goes to buy undergarment , I think nowadays this century is quite open , singapore also approved male can go in the same fitting room with women to choose for her.

Hint her know how u want her to dress up at home , if she is not clever enuff , then tell her how U want her to wear at home .

SAME !! u want her wear nicely , u also must wear nicely .
I think she will think " eh ~ why must my husband so different nowadays ~ "
BUT dun throw all the laundry to her can liao , share the job ...

I'm a Lazy women , so thats how i feel , u want me change ? change together , dun jus open a mouth to encourage , i will listen in from left ear , go out from right ear . IF happy happy then will self-change , self-love .
but i dunno ur wife is which type of women ~ thats what i can say .

U want other ppl change , change urself first then show her u can do it , and CHANGE together .Not sitting at a side expecting 1 day she will become like tat ~

*Don't expect a rock , turn into a gold one day itself without molding it .

If u can't mold her well , then let go may be the best solution ....
Maybe other can mold her into a diamond one day , but by then u dun regret can le .

As for the child , I dun think the child would wanna see their parents become loveless , but still together suffering loneliness .
I grown up in such family , watching my parents no communication for many years ,
As a Daughter sometym I just wish they go find their own happiness and not staying under a same roof becoz of a word "RESPONSIBILITY".
but as for my father , I Feel he really Responsible Enough to feed us grown up and education till now .

[Iamlost]

Guys,

Really touched by all the advises and also sharing of personal journey with me. Who says this forum is evil? At least I find the people here r real and more open to share their struggles.
I agreed that I am a very selfish guy and I will not defend myself. Guess its the constant thought of why I get married so early and feeling that I did not really enjoy much of a single life and fool ard last time that caused me to be tempted to lead a single life again.
After hearing so many advises, I have decided to work on this marriage again. Hope I can stay the course and not be tempted by all the young girls once again. I know some might say, stay for yr son sake and can still fool ard outside. But I wanted I more of the emotional connection with a girl and of cos sex jus like a bf/gf and not so much of a fuck and go thingy. At the moment, dun think I can have a relationship outside and still come home behaving normally. So I guess I will try to put all my effort into this hm and see how it goes.

[Iamlost]

Now comes the part regarding how to work on our marriage. As for the housework, I guess I will jus continue to do it and will stop nagging her to do it anymore. How to I get her to slim down and dress up without hurting her feelings. Someone mention abt go workout together, I have been trying that for the past months, she did go to the gym few times with me. But while I work out for 1 hr plus, she will jus go a slow jog for 30mins and then sit and wait for me. In fact, I have managed to lose 4kg in the past few months of gym but she still abt the same. Not too sure how I can tell her to loose weight and look good for me without her feeling hurt. I really dun mind her spending money on sliming centers and clothes and cosmetic. But all she does is jus shop for some clothes online and when we were out shopping, she doesn't seems interested in buying clothes. I have never complain bat her spending money on clothes at all, more like she doesn't buy new clothes and keep wearing the old clothes. Once, I mentioned that her panty got hole Liao, and she was hurt and cried the whole night . Seriously, I really dun mind her spending 1-2k on herself to slim down and look good. But how to I get her to do it?

[karoosel]

Now comes the part regarding how to work on our marriage. As for the housework, I guess I will jus continue to do it and will stop nagging her to do it anymore. How to I get her to slim down and dress up without hurting her feelings. Someone mention abt go workout together, I have been trying that for the past months, she did go to the gym few times with me. But while I work out for 1 hr plus, she will jus go a slow jog for 30mins and then sit and wait for me. In fact, I have managed to lose 4kg in the past few months of gym but she still abt the same. Not too sure how I can tell her to loose weight and look good for me without her feeling hurt. I really dun mind her spending money on sliming centers and clothes and cosmetic. But all she does is jus shop for some clothes online and when we were out shopping, she doesn't seems interested in buying clothes. I have never complain bat her spending money on clothes at all, more like she doesn't buy new clothes and keep wearing the old clothes. Once, I mentioned that her panty got hole Liao, and she was hurt and cried the whole night . Seriously, I really dun mind her spending 1-2k on herself to slim down and look good. But how to I get her to do it?

TS, why not organize physical family activities like swimming, cycling, etc..? you get to 'hit two birds with one stone' if you can pull this off regularly: 1. you both get to exercise and 2. establish family bonding.

As for shopping for clothes, once she feels good about herself, she may just automatically resort to shopping ;) us women love to try on clothes if and only if we like what our reflection looks like.

hope this helps a bit :p

[davezhiwei]

bro I PM you, take a look

[kaiserwalker]

Family is your holy grail
Count your blessing:
1) got high pay job
2) got wife that loves you
3) got a lovely son
4) no money problem
5) wifey willing give bj

There grass is always greener on the other side, in fact most bro here
would envy what you have. Just how you manage it .

What do you miss outside your life if you stay on?

nothing. Outside world ppl, FL young gals or whatever will not love you like your family does. They only want your money . You will be more empty if you walk away.

Freedom is in your heart . If you feel free, you are free. Nobody is controlling you. Dun let your family get hurt, tell them sorry that you get derail, hope you can get it right. But all this is just advise , the choice is yours.

[sxem]

Well, you guys can always sign up for exercise classes together.

Do something she might like, maybe spinning/yoga/aerobics, things like that?

cos let's face it, women are LOST in the gym.

[innocently]

shd a couple stay married if....for more than 10 years...

1. no sex;
2. no happiness;
3.fight almost everyday;
4.no communication;
5. zero love and affection;
6. almost hate each other;
7. dont care eg she wont cook for him; etc.
8. relationship beyond repair;.....

wife not happy. husband not happy. kid(teen) not happy.
But all still stay together going about doing their own things.

You think shd call it quit so can spare each other the misery?

[hohohaha]

Bro Do_You_BJ,

I am considered a backroom reader in this forum with limited postings but I really 'tabik you' (salute, salute) on your reply to TS as below :D:D:D.

Real gem of a reply! ;)

Earning lotsa of money doesn't make one successful. Earning lotsa money, knowing how to fulfill ones responsibility, hunger, libido n yet be a good hubby n dad, that's called a successful man.

Do u hv any idea how many of those men hv lovers outside or keep women? So their carnal urges n their so called emotional emptiness wif their wife's r fulfilled? That's their secret formula to that happy look. Many here in this forum at my age grp or older know exactly wat I'm talking about.

[netuser]

Bro,

Your comments are really spot on.

Salute!

Cheerios...


There's something called marriage
There's something call fucking
There's something called making love
There's something called having a family together
There's something called growing old together
From your 1st post, you don't have a clue of the above 5 I just mentioned
But if all your reasoning is based on purely carnal, then you're better off divorcing her and let her get a RESPONSIBLE MAN to take care of her and your kid.
Then you can go off fucking silly like a stray mongrel on the street till you expire away unnoticed in a dark alleyway :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

shd a couple stay married if....for more than 10 years...
Pls see my take on ur pointers in RED
1. no sex;
+10yrs marraige, nothing new, can always get replacements outside
2. no happiness;
Happiness is created not given. So communication is key
3.fight almost everyday;
Easy to point finger but ever reflect to find the cause?
4.no communication;
Then its time to try
5. zero love and affection;
Thing dun bcome like this overnight, serious soul searching for the root cause is required
6. almost hate each other;
It wasn't like this when u 2 walked down the isle together, that's y find the root
7. dont care eg she wont cook for him; etc.
Can always eat out
8. relationship beyond repair;.....
tats if both just point finger n dun wanna do their part to fix the situation

wife not happy. husband not happy. kid(teen) not happy.
But all still stay together going about doing their own things.
The kid is neutral. The husband & wife MUST wanna work things out to improve anything. More often than not, couple r too busy blaming the other than looking at themselves on the part they're wrong too. EGO
You think shd call it quit so can spare each other the misery?
If they call it quits, whoever they marry next, will still end up the same. One doesn't learn anything by walking away. So, in this case, they never had a chance to learn how to deal with such situations other than blame the other half.

Bro Do_You_BJ,

I am considered a backroom reader in this forum with limited postings but I really 'tabik you' (salute, salute) on your reply to TS as below :D:D:D.

Real gem of a reply! ;)
Tks for ur kind words bro

Bro,

Your comments are really spot on.

Salute!

Cheerios...
Much appreciated bro, tks

[xpinkyx-moment]

Now comes the part regarding how to work on our marriage. As for the housework, I guess I will jus continue to do it and will stop nagging her to do it anymore. How to I get her to slim down and dress up without hurting her feelings. Someone mention abt go workout together, I have been trying that for the past months, she did go to the gym few times with me. But while I work out for 1 hr plus, she will jus go a slow jog for 30mins and then sit and wait for me. In fact, I have managed to lose 4kg in the past few months of gym but she still abt the same. Not too sure how I can tell her to loose weight and look good for me without her feeling hurt. I really dun mind her spending money on sliming centers and clothes and cosmetic. But all she does is jus shop for some clothes online and when we were out shopping, she doesn't seems interested in buying clothes. I have never complain bat her spending money on clothes at all, more like she doesn't buy new clothes and keep wearing the old clothes. Once, I mentioned that her panty got hole Liao, and she was hurt and cried the whole night . Seriously, I really dun mind her spending 1-2k on herself to slim down and look good. But how to I get her to do it?

Hmmm ~ Can see you a are caring husband =) shows that u still care for this family and ur wife =)

Why not surprise her by buying clothes/slimming package for her instead ?
Like find some occasions , or festival sudden give her as a special gifts ?
If normal day sudden give present I scared she will think wrongly ?

Like I said things dun happen like miracle , It take times to create miracle together .
But i hope she dun think another way round , like "what my hubby did outside , why so sudden so good today buy present for mi " lolz ...

Hmm.. as a women myself , I also dunno what I always think haha , as I always tend to think alot too haha ~ so this must test ur tactic already ~

Anyway why she prefer to shop online : ( I dun think a women will reject shopping ba , unless gt reason like below)

Reason 1 : She like to shop online , maybe this shows that outside sometym dun have her size , its abit hurtful to shop outside sometym when a women cannot find her size sometym .
Thats why rather buy online instead , dun need feel embarrass ..
*Sorry i dunno her size , so I dunno can I use this as the reason , coz I personally also facing this type of problems last tym*

reason 2 : maybe she is those Savy type of women as online shopping is really cheaper then buying outside lolz .
See ~ how good is ur wife ah ~ so save for ur family finance ~

reason 3: fast and easy .

I only wanna say great to see that u nv give up on her , and urself ..=D


*anyway we are outsider , we only can give advice .
Like ppl always say , say is easier then doing lolz .
if things really happen on me , i think i also dunno how to react .

Sometyms this type of things , need a 3rd party to help out i guess , like find her female friends /relative to *hint her on her outfit , *hint her on her shape , But this is gonna be abit troublesome la .
This advise may not be advisable , best is still both of u talk heart to heart , let each other know how each other feel ba .

You told her ur panty got hole laio , then after that you gt continue saying anything ?
To mi I will feel you are 嫌弃 her panty, that why she will cry .
If u gt add on continue the sentence with : ur panty got hole liao , maybe tml we shall go buy a new one , okie ?
it would sound more caring to a women ... seriously .

[supergirl2011]

If your wife will read what you posted here... It will break her poor heart. I wish she will be happy and find the man that will appreciate her more compare to you, even she dun lose weight. A wife should not look good for the sake of the husband. She needs to do it for herself. She must have a reason why she dun wan to do it. You can continue to guess if you want. Unless s you know how to talk to your wife properly, you will never understand her. Good luck to you!

[surbana]

The cycle will keeps on repeating even u goes into another relationship. Man is hum sup and greedy creatures who goes for sex and pretty gals. Remember every rose has its thorns. If your wife is Miss Universe you will feel sianz and mono eventually. I reckon you to stay single if you really divorce.

[zzakk]

I was going thru this topic as I am similar situation reaching 10 yrs of marriage. Lot of bros posts,really opened my eyes. It's really painful journey without love, but I don't want to punish my innocent kid. I do believe, the cycle continues if we quit. At least live for the kid and family. Thanks guys for the sincere and open posts. :)

[oozeman]

I was going thru this topic as I am similar situation reaching 10 yrs of marriage. Lot of bros posts,really opened my eyes. It's really painful journey without love, but I don't want to punish my innocent kid. I do believe, the cycle continues if we quit. At least live for the kid and family. Thanks guys for the sincere and open posts. :)

Yes for the kids. I too am lost in the labyrinth of love. Haizzzzz sien only, why our father's never teach us all these?

[porscheclub]

TS, do you know your wife's size? Time to find out then & it is fun to shop for women's clothes, you'll also get more envy from the salesgals ;)

Trust me, it's more challenging than your job but just don't buy her shoes.

[arbalest]

TS, I really feel for you... Cos it must suck to feel like you're the only one putting in effort. But I am glad that you still have a heart for your son. I don't want to pick a side here cos I don't know what your wife is thinking or feeling. But I would say this if you walk away, the broken pieces would be all bared by your son. You and your wife yes may have a clean start and can fix those pieces but your son will be the one who may or may not be able to walk out from this shadow.

I like some of the advice here about dressing your wife up. I think this spicing up your relationship bit is the Gen y kids one. Gen x and before knn.. what spice up sia... come home after work slack liao... At leat nowadays I hear my friends treat the wife as the other woman... meet at some cheapo hotel to roleplay... lol... I also fall into this but I don't do cheapo hotels, I buy awesome lingerie for my wife (those cheap one g-market la)... then own self at home see her steam lo.

I actually had a talk with my wife about this. I told her I can't help it. My eyes and my cock react to woman. I will do my best to resist. To not cheat. But help me. You know my desires you know what part of your body will arouse me... Purposely make me look only at you. I really thank God that she understands a man's lust. Like I said not every girl does. If I have a chance I wish can tell every girl about this.

bro TS, my suggestion is to have a good talk with your wife. Tell her let's talk. Ask her what happened to you two. Surely before there was love, there was desire, there was something that made you two want to marry. What was it? Where did it go? How to get it back? But remember don't say for our son's sake at all even though u may think that way now. Cos she will then think she is really worthless and nobody cares about her liao. It is not about a mother's love at this stage so I think no matter what your MIL say oso no use on her one. It is your love for her that may make the difference here. Say you really love her and you want to make it work. You want to be there for her. Just want to know what she's thinking. What happen to the studying and courtship period and all that. Maybe she still suffering from her post natal depression (one can only guess). But surely if you tackle her emotional problems the outside laziness, lack of drive will just melt away like butter on a warm day.

[supergirl2011]

If your wife will read what you posted here... It will break her poor heart. I wish she will be happy and find the man that will appreciate her more compare to you, even she dun lose weight. A wife should not look good for the sake of the husband. She needs to do it for herself. She must have a reason why she dun wan to do it. You can continue to guess if you want. Unless s you know how to talk to your wife properly, you will never understand her. Good luck to you!


WALAU!!! Like that also can zap me! dun like that leh... you say you are earning 10K but very childish. Complain here always do housework but cannot afford a maid. You posted here and expect all support for you isssit? If you cannot accept what I said cos it's true, its not my problem. ;p

[thomko]

Guys,

Really touched by all the advises and also sharing of personal journey with me. Who says this forum is evil? At least I find the people here r real and more open to share their struggles.
I agreed that I am a very selfish guy and I will not defend myself. Guess its the constant thought of why I get married so early and feeling that I did not really enjoy much of a single life and fool ard last time that caused me to be tempted to lead a single life again.
After hearing so many advises, I have decided to work on this marriage again. Hope I can stay the course and not be tempted by all the young girls once again. I know some might say, stay for yr son sake and can still fool ard outside. But I wanted I more of the emotional connection with a girl and of cos sex jus like a bf/gf and not so much of a fuck and go thingy. At the moment, dun think I can have a relationship outside and still come home behaving normally. So I guess I will try to put all my effort into this hm and see how it goes.

BRO, enjoy de time with your child now n make up, trust me on this, i was divorced, Xwife keep putting poison words to son, really for 7 years i live outside alone, i dont mind suffering living alone but if she push your son away from you than you will realize this torture of de mind. sori my poor english. hope u know what i meant,... Good Luck...

[mevius]

Ts you are damn lucky already , where to find such a good wife , just because sex is getting boring and lesser and some other reasons u may be thinking of a divorce .. Believe me .. Things will keep on restart and restart .. Try to find the root of the problem and pls think of the sake for your son ..

[Iamlost]

WALAU!!! Like that also can zap me! dun like that leh... you say you are earning 10K but very childish. Complain here always do housework but cannot afford a maid. You posted here and expect all support for you isssit? If you cannot accept what I said cos it's true, its not my problem. ;p

Sis,
Of cos I do not expect all to support me. In fact, whether people support me or not will not change my situation at all. I welcome yr comments and also appreciate all the sharing by the bros here. I already that all men r jerks and hence I post in sammyboy forum and not SammyGIRL forum cos only jerks goes thru wat we go thru. :)
Anyway, I am not the one who zap u (dun even know how to do that and I dun bother either). So pls dun call me childish okie... Very sad u know :D
Of cos I can afford a maid, we jus dun like having someone to serve us and some stranger walking in the house. There r many people that r earning > 20k per month and doesn't have a maid, is it tat they can't afford it? Or is it childish to assume that if they dun have maid to do their bidding means they can't afford it. :p
Dun be angry ok, peace not war....

[fulham]

Why do you want to walk away? Why not think on the bright side? If she don't slim down and don't dress to kill, she won't attract other men like bees to her, isn't that good?

She could be moody and lost interest in doing things. Human beings are complexed creatures, try to do some activities together which she liked in the past?

[supergirl2011]

Sis,
Of cos I do not expect all to support me. In fact, whether people support me or not will not change my situation at all. I welcome yr comments and also appreciate all the sharing by the bros here. I already that all men r jerks and hence I post in sammyboy forum and not SammyGIRL forum cos only jerks goes thru wat we go thru. :)
Anyway, I am not the one who zap u (dun even know how to do that and I dun bother either). So pls dun call me childish okie... Very sad u know :D
Of cos I can afford a maid, we jus dun like having someone to serve us and some stranger walking in the house. There r many people that r earning > 20k per month and doesn't have a maid, is it tat they can't afford it? Or is it childish to assume that if they dun have maid to do their bidding means they can't afford it. :p
Dun be angry ok, peace not war....

orhhhhhh... I thought its you lei. sorry lo. he even say FXXX YOU. Grrrr Im the one childish okie? :) haha

[Iamlost]

Thks guys for all the sharing. I guess I am really not being appreciative of wat I have. I do have a wife that is willing to quit her job and stay home to be a good mother. Guess her mind now is all abt my son. Yest went shopping with her, didn't even want to try clothes. Seriously, why got girl husband dun mind her shopping but she doesn't shop. Any suggestion for me to hint to her to dress up a bit more or go for some spa/slimming package without hurting her feeling?
On the other hand, recent work trip met another young Indonesia girl that is really sweet and pretty. Was tempted again. Guys, how to u fight off these feeling of straying whenever u meet young and pretty girls? :(
I know I am a jerk, somehow I find that I am easily tempted by these girls and I do meet alot of young girls overseas in my job. Good thing is I not good with sweet talking so most might not try hooking with me :D

[supergirl2011]

It's good that you tried to appreciate your wife. Sorry if I keep on bugging your post. Somehow I see myself in this situation as your wife. I also put on some weight before (not too much! I just hate being fat even a bit) and it kills me to try clothes! I will breakdown cos S size won't fit me!!! I am married and been together for 6 years plus. Like you I also have a v adorable son. You are lucky that your wife wants to be a housewife. I am scared. I don't want to be dependent on my husband. Everytime I see our 19 year old admin staff who is v sexy I feel bad abt myself. I am very vain. I went to see doctor when I gained weight after giving birth. I spent a lot (my money) on those creams cos I'm already 28, I considered myself old. Haha I usually talk to one guy from another department, he is so sweet and charming. He is very appreciative... just like when me and my husband are dating. I am also very tempted. I don't look bad at all. Others may think I dun have baby yet... BUT I cannot sacrifice my son for my selfish feelings. I guess once a girl becomes a mother, everything seems to change. I love my family more than myself. Being a very selfish brat when I was single (My parents spoiled me), I'm glad I can control my temptations. I am thinking that one factor that's why your wife is not motivated to lose weight is because she is a housewife? Let her go out with her friends and have some drinks... like old times? My suggestion only. She may think differently.

[Iamlost]

Maybe u can teach my wife to spend money and pamper herself lolz. She is not those drinking type, prefer to stay hm with a book. In fact, all the LV, Prada bags were brought by me without her asking for them. And now they r all rotting in the cupboard while she jus carry the coach bag :confused:
I guess the problem really all lies with me. I have a straying heart and easily tempted.... R there guys here tat stays faithful all these yrs ( not referring to those whereby no girls hit on u kind) ? How do u do it?
I tried telling myself that if I love my son, then I must treat his mother well and not make her cry since she meant the world to him now. However... Difficult to control the lust... Or rather the exitiment of getting to know someone new, not referring to sex hor

[jnudes]

Thks guys for all the sharing. I guess I am really not being appreciative of wat I have. I do have a wife that is willing to quit her job and stay home to be a good mother. Guess her mind now is all abt my son. Yest went shopping with her, didn't even want to try clothes. Seriously, why got girl husband dun mind her shopping but she doesn't shop. Any suggestion for me to hint to her to dress up a bit more or go for some spa/slimming package without hurting her feeling?
On the other hand, recent work trip met another young Indonesia girl that is really sweet and pretty. Was tempted again. Guys, how to u fight off these feeling of straying whenever u meet young and pretty girls? :(
I know I am a jerk, somehow I find that I am easily tempted by these girls and I do meet alot of young girls overseas in my job. Good thing is I not good with sweet talking so most might not try hooking with me :D

bro, you are being greedy and not satisfied with what you have. Of course which husband does not want his wife to look nice and slim in front of others? But your wife think differently. She just want to spend only in emergency or when there is a need to buy them.

In other words, she also need to save the money for the rainy days ahead. Such as if one day both of you get divorce at least she got money to survive and no need to depend any money from you, and have sufficient money to raise your son up.

bro, pretty girls are everywhere. I too get tempted by their sexy clothings and body language especially when they are in their early twenties. How to deal with this temptation? First you RESIST and CONTROL yourself. Second you watch porn and masturbate in your own free time.

If both first and second cannot work, simply hook up with freelance gals or the one under the OKTs here (plenty of gals here) and book a one shot session with them. Get the job done in 45 mins or 1 hour and you be a happy and relieved man afterwards. Please make sure you don't fall in love with her and you be fine again. :D

[supergirl2011]

You're a lucky man. How I wish I can get contented in just reading a book at home.My butt is always itchy to go out shopping, spend a lot of $$$, drink with friends. Most of my friends are still single so they like to have fun. I keep on reminding myself that I'm a mother already but it's always very tempting to do the things that we do when I'm still single.

[Iamlost]

You're a lucky man. How I wish I can get contented in just reading a book at home.My butt is always itchy to go out shopping, spend a lot of $$$, drink with friends. Most of my friends are still single so they like to have fun. I keep on reminding myself that I'm a mother already but it's always very tempting to do the things that we do when I'm still single.

Tat means sis that u r like most of us guys or me. Still want to have fun outside.... Anyway jus told my wife that she can go ahead to spend money on clothing and spa to pamper herself. Hope she really go ahead to do that. Still dun know how to mention abt the jean yip thingy though...

[Iamlost]

bro, you are being greedy and not satisfied with what you have. Of course which husband does not want his wife to look nice and slim in front of others? But your wife think differently. She just want to spend only in emergency or when there is a need to buy them.

In other words, she also need to save the money for the rainy days ahead. Such as if one day both of you get divorce at least she got money to survive and no need to depend any money from you, and have sufficient money to raise your son up.

bro, pretty girls are everywhere. I too get tempted by their sexy clothings and body language especially when they are in their early twenties. How to deal with this temptation? First you RESIST and CONTROL yourself. Second you watch porn and masturbate in your own free time.

If both first and second cannot work, simply hook up with freelance gals or the one under the OKTs here (plenty of gals here) and book a one shot session with them. Get the job done in 45 mins or 1 hour and you be a happy and relieved man afterwards. Please make sure you don't fall in love with her and you be fine again. :D

Yah bro I agree tat I am greedy, men r like that rite? That's why we r acheivers. Btw, dun think she is saving for her raining days since our finances r combined. And if shit hits the fan for her, she still has her family to fall back on. Actually she isn't someone that is bothered by money. She will spend on books instead.
So bro, when young girls hit on u, u jus go hm masturbate? U dun long for the emotional thrill or getting to know another attractive girl? FL now doesn't really cut it for me cos dun like the fuck and go feeling. Prefer to have sex with someone I know :confused:

[jj583]

Bro, u r 1 funny guy lol ...
I also "bio" my wifey's friend lol ...
But never shit at your own backyard!

Cheers ... :p

[hardworking48]

Maybe your wife thinks that $10K is really not a lot of money and she is trying to save your money by not buying stuff and going spas? Maybe she just want to help you to save money for future? My wife also always saving money and buy unbranded clothes and especially spas, she will never step inside.
Sometimes its good you have a saving $ wife, in future, you will appreciate she help you save quite a good sum of money. Of course, the set back is that yr wife will look simple and not sexy like other well dressed and well groomed woman. Well, you cannot have the whole world right?:o

So, look at her positive traits instead of concentrating on her outward appearance.

[supergirl2011]

Tat means sis that u r like most of us guys or me. Still want to have fun outside.... Anyway jus told my wife that she can go ahead to spend money on clothing and spa to pamper herself. Hope she really go ahead to do that. Still dun know how to mention abt the jean yip thingy though...

:) Yes. I am like one of most guys. Maybe if I am a housewife, I will have no time to make myself pretty. Being a SAHM is no joke! I will get crazy. Being a working mom makes me realised that i need to be pretty too, like my colleagues. maybe if your wife will also go back to workforce she will have time to make herself beautiful and sexy again? However she may also get admirers from her male colleagues who dun mind if she is married. There are those types of guys who knows how to sweet talk, appreciate and compliment wives who are being neglected by the husbands :D

[porscheclub]

FL now doesn't really cut it for me cos dun like the fuck and go feeling. Prefer to have sex with someone I know :confused:

See. The devil lurks in you ;)

All it takes is one lady that'll break your oath & you'll fall from the ivory tower like us but don't be guilty because we all do that! After a few partners & you'll know that they are all the same, some are probably more memorable and there's never the best. It's about being contented with what you have which we won't :D

No words of wisdom can cure you because it's a path that you have to experience ;)