Having issues getting over girlfriend’s sexual past

[eSSence06]

I read a question that was similar to the one I have, but I did not believe it could fully be used for my situation. Both my girlfriend and me are 20 years of age. We have been together since July 2nd 2010, and it is June 2013. We were friends for many years before we started dating but due to both of us moving around we were not able to have a relationship. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman and I am so happy to have her in my life. I had no sexual interactions what so ever before I was with her, she is my first in everything. Unfortunately, I am not her first in many things, if anything at all, and that is very hurtful and distressing to me. When she was growing up her parents neglected and even abused her. She was molested on several occasions, but never by a family member. Her life has not been one of happiness and is full of past pains that plague her to this day. She never felt loved or cared about by anyone, and sought out relationships to fill this void. Her first sexual experience was with a female, they were friends and one night during a sleep over her friend put her hand down my girlfriends pants and began feeling around down there. My girlfriend said she did it back to her friend. She was bisexual for a while and dated a few girls, but never did anything for that kiss them. Though not often she claims. Her first sexual experience with a boyfriend was when she was 14 and the guy she was dating asked her to “touch him”, and so she did. She says she didn’t want to but did it to make him happy. In her next relationship she let him suck on her breasts and finger her, she touched him but while he had pants on so there was no contact with his penis.

...

[eSSence06]

cont...

In her third relationship she also let him finger her and she gave him a hand job as well. In her last relationship she went out with this guy for 2.5 years and she really loved him. He was the first she gave oral sex to, and they did everything together. He fingered her; she gave him many hand jobs and lots of oral sex. She wanted to have sex and so did he, but she brought it up to him. They agreed and she claims that he only penetrated her a little bit before finishing, so she doesn’t believe she lost her virginity. He claims that every time they tried, which both him and her say was 3 times, that they had full intercourse but she swears that after that first time having failed, and the other two times they never got past being naked, none of the times they ever had full intercourse. I don’t know if she’s trying to protect me because she knows how bad it would hurt me if they actually did, or if she really didn’t have full on sex with him. I know her was able to penetrate her at least somewhat so I also have issues with whether she was still a virgin the first time we had sex.

I’ve told her many times that I just don’t know if I can ever get over all her past sexual activities. It bothers me greatly that she ever touched another woman, which happened more than once, and that she has kissed multiple girls. I have only kissed 3, including her, and I just feel inadequate knowing that she has kissed more than I have. Also all the sexual things she has done and have had done to her with other guys. I cant get the images out of my mind and it sometimes gets in the way of our sex life, if I start seeing or feeling things I can’t help but show it. One of the biggest problems I have is knowing that the woman I love and loves me back, the woman who I want to marry and make my wife one day, has loved other men. It feels like I am just one of three (she loved her last boyfriend and one other that I did not mention due to them not being sexual).

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

[sammyboyfor]

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

You have a screw loose. You need to see a psychiatrist.

[zanketon]

Hey eSSence06,

This is what i think after readying your story.

you questions actually shows that you mind alot about her past and if that's the case it would be really hard for you two to be together. What you should do now is i think is to sit down and really think through if you really love her then you should tell yourself to get over with the past and cherish her from now on. If you think you cant get over it, then i guess you should let her go because it will always be a barrier between you and her. It is up to yourself to see if you can let go and no one can help you.

[owl888]

We know its school holidays so a lot of BGR problems, best u juz enjoy current situation....most of time this puppy love relationship may not mature to marriage....

[stillgottheblue]

TS, you're a dick head. Go marry some kid in India, sure a virgin and have not love others before you so that you can rest your mind. What the fuck!

You fuck her and she can make you cum? She can do hand job for you, suck you dry, why bother? Marriage is not only about fucking, fucking, fucking. If that is so, why get married? Just go to any whore to fuck.

[berma]

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

You can start to be like her and touch ur guy frens to be fair . :D

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

You can indulge in befriending guys and will forget about all the unhappiness she had given u... :D

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

Start off by sucking other guys lanjiao and soon u will only have image of urself giving guys blowjobs. :D

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

You can start off with loving me first and slowly loving others in order to understand love.

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

You don't have to understand whether she is still a virgin or not, u just have to tongkeng ur kar chng fo berma to poke and u will be guaranteed to lose ur virgin to me. :D

[sta1100]

Bro, why are you trouble by her pass, she has come clean, you love as what she is just because she a bi or maybe her ex BF took away her V. Come on. Are you a V when you are with her !!!

[crazyivan6636]

Move on will ya. Why so keen to know how many guys she had polished their knobs and swallowed their sperm in full.

Also, why are you so concerned that she is still a virgin, she had been honest to you, enjoy the relationship and keep it tight, dun let a small piece of useless membrane disrupt your love life. So what if she had been banged by other guys, enjoyed it and begged them for more. Are you so concerned to know how much they had spunked in her, of if they had made it out senseless. That is the past move on.

No use thinking a virgin is going to be angels, seen and popped so many nice cherries to only find out that they are different actually .

Now dun tell us you had not got that occassional urge to pump yourself dry or with the help of others before..

Holidays I believe is coming to an end, patch up!!

[seventyfour]

TS, her past shouldn't matter u at all seriously! you may not be her first, but the most important prize for u is that hopefully u are the last person she have sex with. Live for the present, plan for the future. Love and cherish the one u really like, and don't let her past to come in between both of u. Good luck!

[Brainstorm]

Please dump her because you don't deserve her. She deserves someone better. For a girl to confess everything to you, it means you are very important to her. She wants you to know everything about her. Think about it. It would have been much easier for her not to tell you about the lesbian past. She chose to tell you because she loves you.

You are still very young. When you are 30, you will regret ever leaving this girl for all these stupid minor reasons. Because when you are 30 and beyond, almost every girl has a colourful sexual history.

[jurongguy1981]

You are still very young. When you are 30, you will regret ever leaving this girl for all these stupid minor reasons. Because when you are 30 and beyond, almost every girl has a colourful sexual history.

LOL... this is WORD!
Come on man TS... The thing is at 20, you are as green as you said, it is certainly hard to believe too...
Anyway, everyone will have a past and you may not marry her anyways... so does that mean you will not be worthy of a new partner? Be real!

[Hwei6969]

Why u need a virgin for???? To see blood when you poke her? U vampire ar?

[crazyivan6636]

Dun tell me u are going to be an angel until u marry a virgin girl and pop her cherry.

From what you are saying, you plan to get a virgin GF, will definitely want to be the first and pop her cherry and be the man that feels your warm spunk in her for the first time before you marry but are not in the position to commit yet.

Doesn't that sound like the rest of the other guys that had done her. A pot telling a kettle to be black.

[pakalolo]

If this is the type of Sg boys we are having now may all the Gods help sg:(

[cctv5five]

Bro, I think you think too much ..... take it easy :D

[peanut123]

Dear TS,

You are a dickhead. Instead of worrying about her past (which is of NO CONSEQUENCE), why not just focus on the present ? Enjoy the fact that the girl of your dreams is with you. That she loves you. Why the fuck would you care that she has loved other men and women? It shows she's human with a warm heart full of emotions and love to give to you!

Don't you think it's bloody hypocritical of you to worry about her sexual history while at the same time you are fucking her and adding to her sexual history??

And why the fuck would you tell her that you can't get over her past? All that will do is make her insecure and unsure of you. You should go over to her now and tell her that you love her and you have finally come to your senses and you no longer care about her past, and only want to focus on the present and plan your future together. That is sure to make her happy, and a happy girlfriend is the key to a happy relationship. Believe me, if she's happy, she'll make sure you are even happier, which is great for you.

You can be very very sure that if you lose this girl, your heart will hurt like hell and you will regret every negative thought and negative word you said to her. Trust me on this.

They say that you dun appreciate what you have until you lose it. For your sake, I hope you don't find out first-hand how true it is.

[PPGirl]

Ts..are u a saint?
If u are, yes u can dump her
If u are not, y bother so much abt her past?

Everyone has a past. We live in the future & not dwell on the past.
Cherish her b4 she is gone & u will regret.

Love is love her for who she is & most important.. are u the only man she love now?
If she didnt mind abt u, y u mind hers?

[see see only]

Women are like books, Men are the readers. You can complete reading the book but it really takes a few read to understand everything written inside. Sometime even a lifetime :o

And a good woman is refer as a good book ... :rolleyes: So you expect a good book left on the book shelf untouched or at least flip by another reader ? :eek:

You may be a first-time reader but i guess you cant expect a good book to be left untouched by another.

[peanut123]

Women are like books, Men are the readers. You can complete reading the book but it really takes a few read to understand everything written inside. Sometime even a lifetime :o

And a good woman is refer as a good book ... :rolleyes: So you expect a good book left on the book shelf untouched or at least flip by another reader ? :eek:

You may be a first-time reader but i guess you cant expect a good book to be left untouched by another.

Great analogy.

[hunter12]

agreed with many bro/sis had said...

u actually mind her pass just because u kiss less girl than her? She touch more girl than u...? :eek:

in the first place, u say how pitiful she is, what unpleasant encounters she met in the past.

u will b contributing to her misery too... after she hj, bj n fj for u.. than u will tell her.. "am sorry I can't forget ur pass... I dun wan to hurt u anymore.. let break off..." u r one jerkass

[dmtpl]

Women are like books, Men are the readers. You can complete reading the book but it really takes a few read to understand everything written inside. Sometime even a lifetime :o

And a good woman is refer as a good book ... :rolleyes: So you expect a good book left on the book shelf untouched or at least flip by another reader ? :eek:

You may be a first-time reader but i guess you cant expect a good book to be left untouched by another.

Couldnt have said any better myself....

Dear TS,
If you cannot accept her womens past, you should NEVER try to learn about her history.
Once you make her feel you like to compare- I promise you that
she will hide the rest of her secrets and your relationship will fail.

Love the women for what you see in her now,
not for what you imagine her to be like- Dont try to re-create or change her
,you are not her maker and have no right to do so.

Finally remember, she is with you now because she wants to be
not because you are so special etc.
She can always and I mean this,
ALWAYS find another guy, much better then YOU if she wanted to.

Be thankful that she is in your life NOW and not out of it !

P.s
If you truly appreciate her, send her some roses and write
"Thank you for being in my life!"

[alphonse]

Dear TS,

A story for you

Two monks were making a pilgrimage to venerate the relics of a great Saint. During the course of their journey, they came to a river where they met a beautiful young woman -- an apparently worldly creature, dressed in expensive finery and with her hair done up in the latest fashion. She was afraid of the current and afraid of ruining her lovely clothing, so asked the brothers if they might carry her across the river.

The younger and more exacting of the brothers was offended at the very idea and turned away with an attitude of disgust. The older brother didn't hesitate, and quickly picked the woman up on his shoulders, carried her across the river, and set her down on the other side. She thanked him and went on her way, and the brother waded back through the waters.

The monks resumed their walk, the older one in perfect equanimity and enjoying the beautiful countryside, while the younger one grew more and more brooding and distracted, so much so that he could keep his silence no longer and suddenly burst out, "Brother, we are taught to avoid contact with women, and there you were, not just touching a woman, but carrying her on your shoulders!"

The older monk looked at the younger with a loving, pitiful smile and said, "Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her."

Take care!

[Phayao]

Dear Sir.

I understand perfectly where your coming from. How your feeling and what thoughts are going through your mind. You Sir, because of your lack of sexual activity feel inferior to your girlfriend because of your girlfriend multiple experiences. That I understand too because just like you and many other's like you have also gone through this insecurity. I'll tell you my personal experience, but I really need you be true to yourself and think about this, If you trade places with your girlfriend, you having multiple experiences and she having none, would that lessen your inferiority? Would that be fair to you? I think the answer is yes, because our culture beckons that. Man having more sexual experiences are usually cheered for while woman who have multiple partners are prostitutes, whores or SPG.

Maybe you think the only way for you now to cure this inferiority or insecurity is by having more sexual experiences than her, but once you have already achieve that...then what? nothing happens, GF =10 VS BF =50. That's just it. A Number. I once had a girlfriend I consider my best love. Unfortunately because of her past sexual experiences I could not get over I let her slip past me and she has already married to a very lucky man 2 years ago. She was rape and rob in her Ipoh house in Ipoh Gardens when she was 22. After which because of her traumatic experience instead of being wearily or distance herself from men she did the opposite, she begin to have ONS and every time she has ONS she relives her experience again. Why she did that silly thing she told me it's because she wants to know if she can "handle" the trauma and move on, what she means by "move on" is she still keep reliving the rapist face, the voice, the act every time she has sex and for every ONS she had, which she told me was almost once every month, she couldn't move on until she met me. No I'm not brad pitt, but when woman are emotionally involved, they can get past anything.

At first I wasn't interested in a relationship because me myself was looking for ONS. But emotions develop over time and I was head over heels for her and she with me but the only thing I couldn't accept was her ONS, for 3 years x 12 months = 36 Men. (Yeah, I'm a bastard I got count you know). I keep pressuring her on the exactly number of men she had sex with and she couldn't give me a straight answer until one day I sian already and broke it off with her. I told you TS, GF =10 VS BF =50 is just a number. My pain in not being with her hurts to this day. She was and still is Wife Material. How come this husband of hers can accept it why can't I? Why can't I swallow my male dominate pride and accept her past. As they said past is past. Dalai Lama Said it best: Look at situations from all angles, and you will become more open.


Best wishes to you,
Phayao

[Summerhillt]

Just break up and find another 1.. cause i tell you its goona be hell for you. Even up till you marry her that day you will still thinnk she not virgin lah she not this not that..

yes this is called selfish but with your ego. i dont think you will ever let it go.

[see see only]

Just break up and find another 1.. cause i tell you its goona be hell for you. Even up till you marry her that day you will still thinnk she not virgin lah she not this not that..

yes this is called selfish but with your ego. i dont think you will ever let it go.

TS,

True, go breakup with your this gf, as you need a few more relationships to understand your this issue is soon not an issue to you at all ;)

[PPGirl]

v girl dont know partern lah

Saw ts posted above in other thread " virgin girl or sexually active girl"

Im really confused when u posted abt your gf past experiences.
Since u say virgin not much pattern n now u saying gf too much pattern?
Ts so pls make up ur mind..

[xenocacia]

TS, the problem here isn't really your gf, but your own ego. All the events in her past and her many encounters, be it with male or female, only bother you because your ego is in the way. You cannot stand the thought that your gf is not pristine and completely yours, that you are not the first explorer into uncharted territory, that you may not compare to her past lovers. It really is all about you, and here's why that's a horrible idea.

1. If she loves you as much as you say, and is willing to share all this with you, it means that she has got past her own ego. Shouldn't you?

2. You are both 20. Come to terms with the fact that only about 20% of your life has happened so far, and whatever little has occurred in this time will pale in comparison (I practically guarantee it) with whatever the remaining 80% has in store for you. Look ahead, not behind.

3. It is the mark of a real man to be able to put his ego down for the sake of others. Only boys worry how they are seen by other people; men worry only how they are seen by their woman. Man up and get over it.

In case you are wondering, I have been through similar situations - even to the extent where the girl I thought I loved was overseas bonking someone else while I stayed in Singapore, cognizant but helpless. You'll get over it.

[lebronjames6]

cont...

In her third relationship she also let him finger her and she gave him a hand job as well. In her last relationship she went out with this guy for 2.5 years and she really loved him. He was the first she gave oral sex to, and they did everything together. He fingered her; she gave him many hand jobs and lots of oral sex. She wanted to have sex and so did he, but she brought it up to him. They agreed and she claims that he only penetrated her a little bit before finishing, so she doesn’t believe she lost her virginity. He claims that every time they tried, which both him and her say was 3 times, that they had full intercourse but she swears that after that first time having failed, and the other two times they never got past being naked, none of the times they ever had full intercourse. I don’t know if she’s trying to protect me because she knows how bad it would hurt me if they actually did, or if she really didn’t have full on sex with him. I know her was able to penetrate her at least somewhat so I also have issues with whether she was still a virgin the first time we had sex.

I’ve told her many times that I just don’t know if I can ever get over all her past sexual activities. It bothers me greatly that she ever touched another woman, which happened more than once, and that she has kissed multiple girls. I have only kissed 3, including her, and I just feel inadequate knowing that she has kissed more than I have. Also all the sexual things she has done and have had done to her with other guys. I cant get the images out of my mind and it sometimes gets in the way of our sex life, if I start seeing or feeling things I can’t help but show it. One of the biggest problems I have is knowing that the woman I love and loves me back, the woman who I want to marry and make my wife one day, has loved other men. It feels like I am just one of three (she loved her last boyfriend and one other that I did not mention due to them not being sexual).

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

are you a history teacher? if not, y bother the history. history is fact that we cant change bro.

if u like history so much, go MOE and b a history teacher. cfm u top notch one :D

[Gaia81]

Childish.....

[Dumbfolded]

Dear TS

Every man and woman have their own sexual past. like you said its PAST. If you really love this woman i suggest you sit down and think and get it out of your head. Be grateful that your gf come clean with you. she is being honest you have to accept her including her past. You are still young if this relationship doesn't work out, next time when you met a new gal and you know you do not want to know about her past especially sexual history then dont even ask even she tells you just stop her nicely. because there are some truth that you cant handle so why even bother to know in the 1st place.

Good luck:)

[phbh]

To have a past, then will there be future. If your girlfriend past is all about happy relationship and a happy life, do you think there is chance for you to enter her life? She may have a loving BF that love her as much as you do.

You want a girl with no past record? Start to nuture them when they are born, not complain here and there. No one is perfect.

As long your gf is true to you now, why matter about the past? To show your temper because of her past, which are no fault of hers, is very childish of you. Grow up man.

To even think that you are more clean than her becos your 1st is given to her, is even more childish and naive.

You can throw more temper at her for her past, and you will lose her for good. and i hope she does, so guys like you can be taught a lesson.

And when your next gf despise you, you will know how your current gf feel.

Life is short,be happy.

[zanketon]

just happen to see a nice quote so decided to share with you.

"A good relationship is when someone ACCEPTS your past, SUPPORTS your present & ENCOURAGES your future."

By don know who :D

[huhu123]

go and get yr fucking ass poke by a guy u are a piece of shit.

U dun deserves her and go and castrate yourself u dun deserve to be called a man.

[ZombieMania]

1. Nothing. Learn to live with it or without her :)

2. yes, think why you love her.. or whether you really love her

3. refer to 1&2 + learn kama sutra will help ;)

4. Depends on what you mean by "others". She is in a relationship with you... for a reason? also refer to 1&2

5. if you have a virgin fantasy... get a child bride (Afghanistan, India, Bangladesh, Romania, Cambodia and Vietnam are options for it) :p or be a priest! that way, no one will arrest you... and some people in Italy will hire lawyer for you :D


cont...

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

[sane]

Is this real story in the first place http://www.cute-factor.com/images/smilies/ouchthis/th_v1.gif

[herodieyoung]

:confused: everyone has a past.....who doesn't!

[Refylk]

Hey TS, if you really love her, you have to accept her for who she is...

Besides nowadays I think it's hard to find very 'pure' girls, even church goers are not as innocent as they seem to be.

[Schnitzer328i]

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much![/QUOTE]

the answer for your questions :-

1) ask yourself if you yourself has been an angel !!!

2) yes..self service aka pcc helps..and its proven.

3) yes..dont look elsewhere except your didi and her valley while bonking..that should keep you focused for sometime atleast.

4) keep telling yourself "i am the first from the bottom" atleast 1008x a day.

5) she has the right to deny you the knowledge as much u reserve the right of not disclosing who you fantasize while pcc. whether what they have done constitute to losing her virginity is irrelevant.

and additional advise for you..get your head sorted out and get a life instead whining over the past and virginity.

The definition of virginity : A big issue on a small tissue

[porscheclub]

Son, go finish your NS first then build your career. 20 is TOO young to discuss about marriage.

Most of us don't know what kind of lifelong partner we want till after 30yrs old so you have at least a decade to date, party, pop cherries and learn to survive. When the kid comes, it's another new chapter. Go enjoy life first. Her past? Let go if there's a slightest hint of bother as it's a poison that'll kill the relationship ultimately. Good luck.

[aldof.hilter]

Dear TS,

The best thing is to break up with her because she deserves someone better, who loves her without looking to her past.

You're such an insecure young chap. Maybe because you have a small didi?

Oh no, pardon my language. I don't think you have a small didi. Because mine is small but I am not insecure like you.

Ahee.

[randyrockhard]

First of all, I think you sound insecure about your position within your relationship with her.

As we grow older, we would discover that sex isn't really the ONLY component which holds a relationship intact. It is important, but not the only one.

I don't know about you, but to me a healthy relationship must have 3 things: Respect, Friendship, and Passion. Sex is really just one tiny part somewhere in between.

Assuming that a 'relationship' is INDEED what you want by being together with her, then it may be a good idea to address your insecurities and start working on the other valuable things in a healthy relationship.

Let's address them, shall we?

First of all, always remember that in life there are always 2 things. One is, things that we can change, Second is, things that we can not change. Differentiate it clearly. Accept the things that you can NOT change, and improve the things that you CAN change.

Regarding her past/anything past/yes anything, including whether she had/had not had sex with that someone or many ones/yes, and that too whatever it is on your mind:
Understand that her past is what made the person she is today You didn't cause her past, you couldn't control her past, and you couldn't fix her past. Accept that and move on.

Regarding your hurt feelings:
Why do you need to feel hurt by someone's past? Why do you need to self-internalize her past and identify that as the cause of your hurting?

Can you see that it's not her past which actually caused your hurting. YOU are the one who hurt your self and no one else but laid the blame on her.

Regarding your inability to move on:
Once you improve yourself so much more, this insecurity would go by itself.

Regarding her bisexual activities:
What can you do? Well, assuming you like women, and since she indicated that she used to like women. If you could talk her into bringing into your activities, purely sexual of course... this could very well be serving for your advantage. But it has to be her, to be the one who choose which woman to participate in your act together.

Good luck ;)

[thewildone]

TS, true story here.

Used to have an ex who told me about her past with guys from different races. It didn't matter to me. All I thought about was to out-do them with as many techniques, positions, lengths of time and locations (all over the world). Call me having a low-self esteem, but it gave me a chance to feel confident over those jerk-off ghosts of the past.

But the moment she started to get back to being chummy with one of her exes, I called it quits and moved on; I can tahan her past, but not her messing around in the present.

[justdifferent]

I read a question that was similar to the one I have, but I did not believe it could fully be used for my situation. Both my girlfriend and me are 20 years of age. We have been together since July 2nd 2010, and it is June 2013. We were friends for many years before we started dating but due to both of us moving around we were not able to have a relationship. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman and I am so happy to have her in my life. I had no sexual interactions what so ever before I was with her, she is my first in everything. Unfortunately, I am not her first in many things, if anything at all, and that is very hurtful and distressing to me. When she was growing up her parents neglected and even abused her. She was molested on several occasions, but never by a family member. Her life has not been one of happiness and is full of past pains that plague her to this day. She never felt loved or cared about by anyone, and sought out relationships to fill this void. Her first sexual experience was with a female, they were friends and one night during a sleep over her friend put her hand down my girlfriends pants and began feeling around down there. My girlfriend said she did it back to her friend. She was bisexual for a while and dated a few girls, but never did anything for that kiss them. Though not often she claims. Her first sexual experience with a boyfriend was when she was 14 and the guy she was dating asked her to “touch him”, and so she did. She says she didn’t want to but did it to make him happy. In her next relationship she let him suck on her breasts and finger her, she touched him but while he had pants on so there was no contact with his penis.

...

cont...

In her third relationship she also let him finger her and she gave him a hand job as well. In her last relationship she went out with this guy for 2.5 years and she really loved him. He was the first she gave oral sex to, and they did everything together. He fingered her; she gave him many hand jobs and lots of oral sex. She wanted to have sex and so did he, but she brought it up to him. They agreed and she claims that he only penetrated her a little bit before finishing, so she doesn’t believe she lost her virginity. He claims that every time they tried, which both him and her say was 3 times, that they had full intercourse but she swears that after that first time having failed, and the other two times they never got past being naked, none of the times they ever had full intercourse. I don’t know if she’s trying to protect me because she knows how bad it would hurt me if they actually did, or if she really didn’t have full on sex with him. I know her was able to penetrate her at least somewhat so I also have issues with whether she was still a virgin the first time we had sex.

I’ve told her many times that I just don’t know if I can ever get over all her past sexual activities. It bothers me greatly that she ever touched another woman, which happened more than once, and that she has kissed multiple girls. I have only kissed 3, including her, and I just feel inadequate knowing that she has kissed more than I have. Also all the sexual things she has done and have had done to her with other guys. I cant get the images out of my mind and it sometimes gets in the way of our sex life, if I start seeing or feeling things I can’t help but show it. One of the biggest problems I have is knowing that the woman I love and loves me back, the woman who I want to marry and make my wife one day, has loved other men. It feels like I am just one of three (she loved her last boyfriend and one other that I did not mention due to them not being sexual).

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

You've told us that she is everything you want in a woman and as a partner.

However, you've not said if you love her.

I'm guessing since you're so affected by it, you probably love her quite a lot.

From the way you talk about her, it seems as though you are completely in love with her.

My question to you is: are you?

If your answer is no, then the above points you've mentioned don't matter.

If your answer is yes, then it doesn't matter as well.

When you love someone completely and absolutely, you will accept and love every little thing about them. On top of this, the things you've mentioned are just things that have happened in the past.

If you fault her for something she's done before she met you, it is not her who is letting you down, but you who is disrespecting her.

[Goalie]

Is this real story in the first place http://www.cute-factor.com/images/smilies/ouchthis/th_v1.gif

This is a fake story.

This is a clone out of 20 or more clones he created who had terrorized the indo-china threads trying to promote his sex websites especially the famous selling Virgins in Singapore which was exposed in the press.

He had posted in the HCM thread and we are zapping him.