Marriage issues revisited

[zomgbaby]

Yes, as per above I have encountered some issues with my wife. I am going through a sex deprived marriage like many did. The problem is, we are married for less than a year. We did have sexual encounters on and off before our marriage for the past few years and every single time it was great. Around 1 year prior to the wedding she requested for hiatus and her reason was she did not want any "accident" to happen. I though she was right and fair so I obliged.

We did not "consummate" on our wedding night as I was semi KO'ed by the liquor when we reach the suite. The next day we had to check out by noon so there was no chance for anything kinky to happen. The same night nothing happened as both of us were still exhausted. The following night I initiated but was shrug off by her "I'm still feeling very tired, can we do it another day?" So I thought why not give her another few days of rest before I try again. I did not ask again till almost two weeks later and was again shrug off by the ever familiar reason "i don't feel like". I didn't say anything and turned towards the opposite direction and fell asleep shortly.

After weeks of facing her rejections, I brought up the topic of sex deprived marriage to her. The conversation didn't last more than 5 minutes and ended up pretty nasty. During the conversation I brought up to her the potential issues of a sexless marriage. It was pretty clear that the message not only did not get through but at the same time backfired. She said that I not being understanding and demanding. I then asked her "if I don't turn to you for sex, who should I turn to?" She kept quiet and the conversation ended.

We did not have sex till 3 months later and it ended within 10 minutes. There was almost no foreplay, just touch, pump then cum. To be honest, I couldn't feel any love from her. And then the same thing happened again whenever I try to initiate, the SOP Reasons "I don't feel like, feeling tired etc". My frustrations grew strong as the days went by. When I could no longer hold back my frustrations, I confronted her. She then told me that she's no longer interested with sex but wouldn't mind if we are planning for children. At that moment my mind went blank. Completely blank. Mind you, both of us are only in our late twenties and she has already lost her sex drive. To make things worse, she's a looker and when we are out, married men never fail to lay their eyes on her. In the eyes of those envious men, they must have thought how lucky I am. But the truth is, I am suffering.

Till date I have yet ate outside although the thought has crossed my mind countless times. Partially also due to the fact that some of our relatives have divorced due to cheating/3rd party.

I know there are already such threads but I thought it would be great that I could share my own and have others reflect that there are "worser" scenarios. Feel free to share your opinions. Any tips to remedy my situation is very much welcomed.

[muscleboi]

bro, i feel for you. signing the contract thinking all's well and sex will be as great but...

why not give her surprise sex? :D but before that, make her feel very comfortable by creating ambience and stuffs. find out the reason why she's not intersted in sex anymore through observation. no woman want to be treated as a sex object. so you confronting her may sound like the right thing to do...but indeed, it may have made matters worse..all i can say is try all the tricks you can and if nothing works...i wish you the best...

[LengKia]

bro, i feel for you. signing the contract thinking all's well and sex will be as great but...

why not give her surprise sex? :D but before that, make her feel very comfortable by creating ambience and stuffs. find out the reason why she's not intersted in sex anymore through observation. no woman want to be treated as a sex object. so you confronting her may sound like the right thing to do...but indeed, it may have made matters worse..all i can say is try all the tricks you can and if nothing works...i wish you the best...

my friend has no sex with his wife for 3.5 years

[zomgbaby]

bro, i feel for you. signing the contract thinking all's well and sex will be as great but...

why not give her surprise sex? :D but before that, make her feel very comfortable by creating ambience and stuffs. find out the reason why she's not intersted in sex anymore through observation. no woman want to be treated as a sex object. so you confronting her may sound like the right thing to do...but indeed, it may have made matters worse..all i can say is try all the tricks you can and if nothing works...i wish you the best...

Hi muscleboi, thanks for your contribution. Surprise sex, body massage, shower her with gifts, I've tried it all. I have fulfilled my role as husband be it emotionally or physically and have always respected her decisions. Her reason is she has lost interest in sex. I am lost.

[wells]

always work, dinner, watch TV then sleep. See u or her everyday also sian.

I also married, sometimes got to plan for a getaway to refresh or recharge both of you and it works for me.

Join more activity, gathering, bring her shopping, give her surprise gift, importantly maintain the flames of love.

[zomgbaby]

always work, dinner, watch TV then sleep. See u or her everyday also sian.

I also married, sometimes got to plan for a getaway to refresh or recharge both of you and it works for me.

Join more activity, gathering, bring her shopping, give her surprise gift, importantly maintain the flames of love.

Hi wells, thank you for your input. I agree with you that things get bland with the usual daily routine. I have done all the activities as you advised but to no avail. Come to think of it I think its much more than just sex. I hardly get any form of affection from her as well.

[zomgbaby]

bro, i feel for you. signing the contract thinking all's well and sex will be as great but...

why not give her surprise sex? :D but before that, make her feel very comfortable by creating ambience and stuffs. find out the reason why she's not intersted in sex anymore through observation. no woman want to be treated as a sex object. so you confronting her may sound like the right thing to do...but indeed, it may have made matters worse..all i can say is try all the tricks you can and if nothing works...i wish you the best...

HI Muscleboi, thank you for your suggestions. I did try surprise sex, body massage etc but it didn't work out too. I had to confront her because she has been avoiding the topic for past few months. I was desperate for an answer for what is happening between us. Her only answer was that she had lost interest in sex. I have always respect her preferences and never had once crossed the line. All i can hope for now is that someday she would change. :(

[tanhockgin]

Hey Bro,

Same shit is happening to me.

At least yours does not involve kids. We dun even sleep on the same bed anymore and we are living just for the kids. Hate it. No life, no future!

Be prepared for the worse. As you cant change her nor do you want her to change you, seek an anullment. Not sure if that is still valid. If not, go your own way.

Then never ink a contract again till you are damn sure the next person is THE ONE.

Hard cold reality.

[jnudes]

Yes, as per above I have encountered some issues with my wife. I am going through a sex deprived marriage like many did. The problem is, we are married for less than a year. We did have sexual encounters on and off before our marriage for the past few years and every single time it was great. Around 1 year prior to the wedding she requested for hiatus and her reason was she did not want any "accident" to happen. I though she was right and fair so I obliged.

We did not "consummate" on our wedding night as I was semi KO'ed by the liquor when we reach the suite. The next day we had to check out by noon so there was no chance for anything kinky to happen. The same night nothing happened as both of us were still exhausted. The following night I initiated but was shrug off by her "I'm still feeling very tired, can we do it another day?" So I thought why not give her another few days of rest before I try again. I did not ask again till almost two weeks later and was again shrug off by the ever familiar reason "i don't feel like". I didn't say anything and turned towards the opposite direction and fell asleep shortly.

After weeks of facing her rejections, I brought up the topic of sex deprived marriage to her. The conversation didn't last more than 5 minutes and ended up pretty nasty. During the conversation I brought up to her the potential issues of a sexless marriage. It was pretty clear that the message not only did not get through but at the same time backfired. She said that I not being understanding and demanding. I then asked her "if I don't turn to you for sex, who should I turn to?" She kept quiet and the conversation ended.

We did not have sex till 3 months later and it ended within 10 minutes. There was almost no foreplay, just touch, pump then cum. To be honest, I couldn't feel any love from her. And then the same thing happened again whenever I try to initiate, the SOP Reasons "I don't feel like, feeling tired etc". My frustrations grew strong as the days went by. When I could no longer hold back my frustrations, I confronted her. She then told me that she's no longer interested with sex but wouldn't mind if we are planning for children. At that moment my mind went blank. Completely blank. Mind you, both of us are only in our late twenties and she has already lost her sex drive. To make things worse, she's a looker and when we are out, married men never fail to lay their eyes on her. In the eyes of those envious men, they must have thought how lucky I am. But the truth is, I am suffering.

Till date I have yet ate outside although the thought has crossed my mind countless times. Partially also due to the fact that some of our relatives have divorced due to cheating/3rd party.

I know there are already such threads but I thought it would be great that I could share my own and have others reflect that there are "worser" scenarios. Feel free to share your opinions. Any tips to remedy my situation is very much welcomed.

Someone I know is handsome and married a beautiful wife. Many people will think he is one lucky man. But one thing that surprises me is he still flirts with a woman that looks uglier than her current wife. Even the wife was complaining and asks why.

We the horny guys want to get laid with beautiful ladies all the times. But how many of this beautiful women can really perform and service oriented with high GFE? I am referring to the working ladies at the spa center that offers FJ. Very rare. Most of the times complain of poor attitude, waste of money, this cannot and that cannot, rushed service, etc.

bro, I feel sorry sex was lacking in your marriage. Your story just reminded me just because the woman is good looking it does not mean she loves sex and can perform well in bed although in real life she might be a very good dresser to show off to the public. i believe she is only interested to make love for the sake of getting pregnant and not for sexual pleasure.

[muscleboi]

HI Muscleboi, thank you for your suggestions. I did try surprise sex, body massage etc but it didn't work out too. I had to confront her because she has been avoiding the topic for past few months. I was desperate for an answer for what is happening between us. Her only answer was that she had lost interest in sex. I have always respect her preferences and never had once crossed the line. All i can hope for now is that someday she would change. :(

I know, bro. use aphrodisiac. :D got orthodox ones and unorthodox ones. you choose. you will know what's best.. :o

glad you didnt cross the line. keep it up. but remember you didnt marry to be a monk. there're too many "maybe"s in the world..."maybe after having a kid, she will become horny again." "maybe after she reaches 30s, her hormones can make her want more sex." ..whether to take the risk, its up to you.

i always think its good to discuss all forms of commitment including sex before marriage..but then again, change is the only constant. who knows things will change for the better? mindset must stay positive since you're already in the contract.

[muscleboi]

Someone I know is handsome and married a beautiful wife. Many people will think he is one lucky man. But one thing that surprises me is he still flirts with a woman that looks uglier than her current wife. Even the wife was complaining and asks why.

We the horny guys want to get laid with beautiful ladies all the times. But how many of this beautiful women can really perform and service oriented with high GFE? I am referring to the working ladies at the spa center that offers FJ. Very rare. Most of the times complain of poor attitude, waste of money, this cannot and that cannot, rushed service, etc.

bro, I feel sorry sex was lacking in your marriage. Your story just reminded me just because the woman is good looking it does not mean she loves sex and can perform well in bed although in real life she might be a very good dresser to show off to the public. i believe she is only interested to make love for the sake of getting pregnant and not for sexual pleasure.


bro i agree. my ex is not a looker but she's willing to please. i was the dumb dumb goody two shoes guy back then who refused to try out-of-the-world stuffs. though she left me, i have changed for the better. :D

[Fade]

Hi there TS. Some years back I faced the same issue as you and till now the problem still exist but I have come to accept it.

Thanks to the Internet, I came across this term 'Passive Agreesive' and all of a sudden the mystery has been solved for my sexless marriage. I m slowly working my way out with my partner and it's a challenging path for us to take.
Do take some time and read thru this link and hope you will find it useful.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/1445968

[maotaicat]

Hi there TS. Some years back I faced the same issue as you and till now the problem still exist but I have come to accept it.

Thanks to the Internet, I came across this term 'Passive Agreesive' and all of a sudden the mystery has been solved for my sexless marriage. I m slowly working my way out with my partner and it's a challenging path for us to take.
Do take some time and read thru this link and hope you will find it useful.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/1445968

Thanks FADE for this piece of important information. I realized that I am actually
dealing with people having such character.

[consultant]

Bro, I believe your prob quite serious.Only professional counseling might work IMHO as, like u said u hv tried many ways already.

[jasdude]

Any tips to remedy my situation is very much welcomed.

Women are from Venus and Men from Mars. Men are physically and visually enhanced and Women more psychologically and emotionally enhanced. Please seek professional help immediately with doctors and counselors.

[jayson]

Bro,

Just some ideas:

A get away, gifts and others you have tried. Why not confront her not about sex, but rather affection you are not receiving. Like what we learnt in school, identified problem, possible solutions and implementation and lastly feedback. If all dont work go back to the first stage.

The other thing you should try, (what we learnt in the army) use all direction attacking strategy. For example, gifts, get away, romantic dinner and etc, top up with 'spanish fly' see if it works. Hopefully with all the 'weapons and strategies' suggested by all the bros here can spark some light in your sex life with your wife.

Lastly, if they dont work, see a marriage therapist. It did some help for me and my wife, but our issue is not about sex, rather other more pressing issues.

Sadly if she do not want to face this problem, you might need to find out if she is seeing someone. Man can handle more than 1 woman, whereas woman can't. Thus they cannot share their love with both men, whereas we can love more than 1 lady and if financially sound, we will fairly provide for both.

These are some ideas, but due to lack of information such as her job, her friends, family background and etc its hard to really make any comments or analyse your problem in depth.

[Blast88]

TS,

Women require organsm to enjoy sex & desire for more. In your case, i suspect your wife might be having some hormone imbalance & this symstom will make them very low sex drive. pl seek specialist doctor advice & medication might help. :)

[consultant]

Bro, I believe your prob quite serious.Only professional counseling might work IMHO as, like u said u hv tried many ways already.
Bro,I was only trying to help but got zapped until -40 pts?!!! Trust me this is advice given only after consulting professional counseling websites when other techniques fail. So pl return my pts

[zomgbaby]

Haven't got time to login recently. Thank you bros very much for all your valuable inputs. Will definitely try some of the other suggestions which i've yet to try. Hopefully this goes all out well otherwise this marriage will be doomed. Wish me luck.

[flowbow]

Bro,I was only trying to help but got zapped until -40 pts?!!! Trust me this is advice given only after consulting professional counseling websites when other techniques fail. So pl return my pts
"please return your points"!?!?!?!!? Hahahaha first time I heard of this. Since when points can be returned one?!??! :D:D

[peanodood1337]

Firstly - DO NOT seek alternative sex partners. Whack it off on your own if necessary. Sleeping around will only make matters worse. Even if she never finds out, the guilt will remain with you for life.

As for wifey's problem, it might be stress related. How's she doing at work? Observe her more. Show more concern on a daily basis. That's what husbands do right? Get her to open up cos for all you know, there might be some sinister reason why she is not willing to be intimate (e.g. illness etc.) - tell/show her that your marriage matters and you worry about her.

Or maybe, she has anxiety issues when it comes to sex? For that, try wooing her all over again. Weekend getaways from the stress. Flowers, presents, chocolates to pique the interest. Sensual massages to get into the mood.

Just don't over-do it and make it seem like you are pandering to her like a whipped dog.

Oh, and I reckon you are not a selfish lover? Not speculating here, just reminding you to make sure she gets off whenever you guys are intimate. In normal circumstances, I don't think anyone would turn down a good orgasm from his/her significant other.

Good luck bro.

[zomgbaby]

Thank you bro for your valuable input. Will definitely try whatever means to rekindle. Only time will tell.

[consultant]

"please return your points"!?!?!?!!? Hahahaha first time I heard of this. Since when points can be returned one?!??! :D:D
Don't make fun of me leH, already many "people" cannot get new business when they try to pm me ctc, find that they cannot do so, quite Cham don't you agree. Ok to use the right lingo, do me a favour all bros here, up me can?

[flowbow]

Don't make fun of me leH, already many "people" cannot get new business when they try to pm me ctc, find that they cannot do so, quite Cham don't you agree. Ok to use the right lingo, do me a favour all bros here, up me can?
Cham? You must have done something to piss the samsters off so bad that they decided to zap you to -30. So no, I don't think you are cham and I don't pity you. :) and I believe if you continue going on and on and on about this you're just gonna get zapped even more. :D

To be instantly out of the reds is actually very easy... Just pay money lor :D

[edison07]

I feel for you bro.

Something to ponder. Do u engage in pre marital sex with her. If you do, how was the session?

If you do not engage in pre marital sex with her, then I assume that you did not know where her problem lies only after marriage.

If you have pre marital sex with her before marriage and things were hot before marriage and it comes to a stalemate after marriage, you will have to be careful.

Is that post marriage stress or is she seeing someone else. You have to get to these matter clear first. That said, i guess she isn't exactly seeing someone else because of the fact that she wants to have a family with you as you had stated.

Have a heart to heart talk with her. Most importanttly don't throw your temper even though chances are she wiill start to roar at you and accused you of only thinking about sex and neglecting her feelings.

[owl888]

When u have sex with her previously, is her CB dry:confused:

Maybe she painful, that's why afraid to have sex:confused:

[karoosel]

Firstly - DO NOT seek alternative sex partners. Whack it off on your own if necessary. Sleeping around will only make matters worse. Even if she never finds out, the guilt will remain with you for life.

As for wifey's problem, it might be stress related. How's she doing at work? Observe her more. Show more concern on a daily basis. That's what husbands do right? Get her to open up cos for all you know, there might be some sinister reason why she is not willing to be intimate (e.g. illness etc.) - tell/show her that your marriage matters and you worry about her.

Or maybe, she has anxiety issues when it comes to sex? For that, try wooing her all over again. Weekend getaways from the stress. Flowers, presents, chocolates to pique the interest. Sensual massages to get into the mood.

Just don't over-do it and make it seem like you are pandering to her like a whipped dog.

Oh, and I reckon you are not a selfish lover? Not speculating here, just reminding you to make sure she gets off whenever you guys are intimate. In normal circumstances, I don't think anyone would turn down a good orgasm from his/her significant other.

Good luck bro.

well said! i am a newbie here and surprisingly a female.

i am newly married and pregnant. due to the pregnancy, sex has not been the same for my husband and i especially during the first trimester. i try my best to keep up with his needs then and now (on my 2nd trimester). sadly he doesn't seem to share the respect you have for the marital vows. so while i suffered through my nausea and discomfort for our unborn child, he went and bonked in geylang. i just found out about this recently and it fricking hurts.

to the TS, i hope you and your wife resolve this issue. the only thing i could think of to suggest is perhaps going through counselling. late twenties is too early to give up on sex.. especially for us women.

[cuntarow]

my friend has no sex with his wife for 3.5 years

its ok because i think he had it with others instead haha no offence:D

[Laoshu]

Hey Bro,

Same shit is happening to me.

At least yours does not involve kids. We dun even sleep on the same bed anymore and we are living just for the kids. Hate it. No life, no future!

Be prepared for the worse. As you cant change her nor do you want her to change you, seek an anullment. Not sure if that is still valid. If not, go your own way.

Then never ink a contract again till you are damn sure the next person is THE ONE.

Hard cold reality.


Bro, feel you too. I'm in the same situation with you. I don't know how to solve this issue till today. Totally give me a cold shoulder

[strikeback4]

Have you try initiating sex with condom or her taking birth control pill?

If despite this she don't want, maybe because she lost her sex drive, not everyone is into sex you know

What is important if both of you talk about it and agree on something like once a week or a month thing

[maxim24]

Like some bros said. Try use Spanish Fly. See what reaction from her. Don't let her know. I tried before and damn she was so horny.

Just a suggestion.

[porscheclub]

Hi muscleboi, thanks for your contribution. Surprise sex, body massage, shower her with gifts, I've tried it all. I have fulfilled my role as husband be it emotionally or physically and have always respected her decisions. Her reason is she has lost interest in sex. I am lost.

Oh fuck. Sounds like you married a dead fish. Sorry to hear of your ordeal mate.

A lot of us rushed into marriage without having a clear discussion on family planning, sex life (kids destroy sexual happiness) & finance. The money part can wreck a marriage as well. Something's not right with her & only you can solve it. Find a good time to have an in-depth discussion and don't rush into having sex that night. Open up her heart & mind. Understand what she's going through from work to family issues, dreams, aspirations and why the sudden change in attitude. Trust me, when a women's sexual button is turned on, we cannot keep up.

But, if she's still beating around the bush then i suggest hiring a PI & hope for the best.

[cassandradream]

I feel bad for you brother. I really don't understand why some ladies see sex as dirty or they sometimes feel shy about their sexuality. I've heard a friend told me she never asked sex from her husband because she is shy. That is the lamest thing I have heard from anyone really. But it is the reality. All I can think of is try to be romantic to her.. Give her flowers, shower her with sensual gifts, lingerie, perfume, anything to make her feel sexy. Watch porn with her. Don't ask her for sex just watch sex on tv anyway she doesn't want to do it with you so you'd rather watch it with her. Try to turn her on by cuddling, make her feel very comfortable. Compliment her looks and make it very natural.

If that doesn't work, tie her up while asleep and fuck her until she enjoy it. If she cry rape, then sorry you need to get a divorce. Lol.

That's all I can think of. Good luck.

[Ladyrain]

Thread starter..
Just do it. Don't ask at all.
Go for a nice dinner. Send her flowers. Nice necklace or watch.
Hold hands. Stroll.
Home.. massage.. drinks and all.
Make sure she is almost tipsy and much more than she can drink if she's so upright.
Make your moves. Don't ask.
Passionately.
Consider it done.
Wake up next morning, remember to kiss her on her forehead and smile.

[abcbear]

Ho bro, sorry to hear about your problem.. regarding your wife, you mentioned that the sex was great every single time...why the sudden change? I have only heard of a women's sex drive changed only after having kids...if she's​ not busy with work, take it as a warning sign..

Not to pour cold water but she might be eating out, a women sudden change of sex drive is quite strange, does she behave any differently​ other than the low sex drive?

My ex wife used to like having sex, suddenly died down and keep refusing sex, end up caught her having a year long affair outside..that was even before we moved into our new house...

[Dobernite]

I been through same thing....used to say i not driven enough for sex....then one fine day say no point doing for sake of doing....i remained faithful as in my whole time in the marriage and was celibate after her refusal for 3 years until one fine day I said ...heck care....and started bonking around.....in a way that is prob a signal that its the end.

[Shadow_warrior]

damn it.

married also have issues. find a fb, wl, fl also got issues

sometimes life is just a big mess of issues.

[freezetheDB]

end of the day
marry only if u want kids

[Couple7]

We are married for 7 years and encountered same issues with our sex life before i decided to do something out of the box. We decided to speak to complete strangers on internet by chatting on chat forums together and keeping our identity secret but when we started right on the very first time the conversation went so far that we resorted by sharing skypie with a complete stranger and in few moment we were on video chat. In few momemts of video vhat the guy wasted no time and and took his clothes off and this was the point i saw her getting completely aroused. The stranger wanted us to do the same and reluctantly took her clothes off and i fucked in front of him on webcam. This always turns us on and now we are planning to go on vacation and try a male escort

[xqueen]

damn it.

married also have issues. find a fb, wl, fl also got issues

sometimes life is just a big mess of issues.

man, woman, chicken, duck all have issues ... big or small :D

[SMGG]

We are married for 7 years and encountered same issues with our sex life before i decided to do something out of the box. We decided to speak to complete strangers on internet by chatting on chat forums together and keeping our identity secret but when we started right on the very first time the conversation went so far that we resorted by sharing skypie with a complete stranger and in few moment we were on video chat. In few momemts of video vhat the guy wasted no time and and took his clothes off and this was the point i saw her getting completely aroused. The stranger wanted us to do the same and reluctantly took her clothes off and i fucked in front of him on webcam. This always turns us on and now we are planning to go on vacation and try a male escort

hi couple maybe you can try mmf or mff, or with just a watcher in same room, or other kinky staff :D

[SwitchSport]

Money is also an issue:D

damn it.

married also have issues. find a fb, wl, fl also got issues

sometimes life is just a big mess of issues.

[Shadow_warrior]

man, woman, chicken, duck all have issues ... big or small :D

yeah that's why in my 40s take it easy liao

what come comes, what goes goes

Don't take life so seriously

If you are jilted, run into the arms of another. You might not love them, they don't you. But heck it sure beats suffering alone

Life is a game, play to win. We might not be proud of all we do, but we sure will go out with no regrets.