Curious

[pppp4]

Hi all, recently had some conversations with friends (ladies) who are married and having affairs (not just ons but emotional affairs). All had different reasons and circumstances leading to their affairs but the main reason was that their husbands were not satisfying them emotionally or physically or both. For example, one shared that her husband before marriage was caring and loving towards her but after married, took her for granted and stopped putting in efforts to please her. Initially she took that as warning signs that get husband may be losing interests in her so she invested time and money in dolling herself up, fulfilling wifey duties like preparing yummy meals, ensure regular non-routine sex etc. After some time she noticed no change from her husband and in fact he seemed to have gotten more complacent and started taking more things for granted! Like if she had to work late and couldn't be home in time to prepare dinner, he will scold her for not cooking.

Just curious, do men actually bother to maintain the relationship and keep the flames of romance alive, especially after marriage? It seem like many couldn't be bothered to and when the wives stopped trying to (eg turned off sex with hubby as she feels her efforts are not reciprocated), men take that as excuse for "eating out"?

Just some thoughts. :)

[jnudes]

Hi all, recently had some conversations with friends (ladies) who are married and having affairs (not just ons but emotional affairs). All had different reasons and circumstances leading to their affairs but the main reason was that their husbands were not satisfying them emotionally or physically or both. For example, one shared that her husband before marriage was caring and loving towards her but after married, took her for granted and stopped putting in efforts to please her. Initially she took that as warning signs that get husband may be losing interests in her so she invested time and money in dolling herself up, fulfilling wifey duties like preparing yummy meals, ensure regular non-routine sex etc. After some time she noticed no change from her husband and in fact he seemed to have gotten more complacent and started taking more things for granted! Like if she had to work late and couldn't be home in time to prepare dinner, he will scold her for not cooking.

Just curious, do men actually bother to maintain the relationship and keep the flames of romance alive, especially after marriage? It seem like many couldn't be bothered to and when the wives stopped trying to (eg turned off sex with hubby as she feels her efforts are not reciprocated), men take that as excuse for "eating out"?

Just some thoughts. :)

During the older days, there is a saying 'there are many fishes in the pond' for a single guy to find his future wife. Very true. But back then no internet and handphone. Mostly arranged marriage or introduced by someone.

During the current days, there is a saying 'there are many fishes in the pond' for a married guy to flirt behind his current wife. Very true also. Got internet (Facebook) and sms service now.

Wife outside working husband chat with another girl. So when wife back husband quickly log out and pretend sleeping. It's the advancement of technology that also play some role here. Husband cheats the same goes with wife. It's a 50%-50% game.

Men just could not be bothered when they met someone new on the internet, even if that gal is uglier than the wife. Then the wife asks why my hubby so stupid flirt with that ugly gal? The problem is wife thinks she more pretty than her, but the husband think otherwise, so how?

What if one day the wife find out the husband gave the gal more pocket money compared to his own wife? Wife find out later another round of big fight going on. More worst when she saw their romantic photos together on his iPhone, another round of big fight. When a man changes is just like changing old clothes to a new one. Almost impossible for him to U-turn again.

[Tai_zi21]

I'm also very curious to know in almost all of ur post! Why is it the men always at fault or got trouble leh?

Can I know Why ladies also stray or eat outside? Wat is their problem with their husband?
Or to u only men are at fault only?

[sane]

Many women lose themselves after marriage n revolve their life only around their hb n started to pressure when the Hb couldn't meet up with their expectations.

When they started to nag without realising that they r changing into another person not the same person that the Hb married.

We doll up, keep fit, stay healthy is for ourselves n not. just for the guys. strike a balance of everything, work, parents,friend. Spend quality time to destress.
Go for new activities like sports n rope in ur Hb to participate.

when u r not that stringent n less tense, both can communicate better.

[Greenfrog]

I ever ask one of my guy friends this question. "why do you cheat?" He known his wife for 12 years and his reply was he could not take it lying down having stuck to one girl in this lifetime.

[stillgottheblue]

In any failed relationships, I believe no one party is more right than the other. Men and women often don't look at themselves before pointing the gun at each other. Both parties just don't want to give in and hold their anger for weeks and months. That's really bad. To forgive is the start of all reconciliation.

[sane]

It takes lotsa luv for a couple to stay committed n to keep trying wo giving up. sadly it wont be able to work when there's only 1willing party.

perhaps ask urself, if 1 day u r stuck with terminal illness/disabilities, will he be there for you?

[Big Sexy]

damx.. why is it that i never got to meet such girls?
can u introduce some of these girls to me?

the main reason was that their husbands were not satisfying them emotionally or physically or both.

[Orchinno]

damx.. why is it that i never got to meet such girls?
can u introduce some of these girls to me?

Eh.. you endgame is something different from most what ladies want?

[Wizrd]

To commit a man and a woman to eternal couple-hood is not natural...

If you are told that you can only have one best friend for the rest of your life...AND...once you have decided on that one best friend, you are never allowed to have other friends closer than those hi-bye friends...being overly friendly with another person equates to cheating on your best friend....

How would you take that?

A woman take 9 months to have a baby...and then the baby takes a few years to be strong enough to survive without constant care...so during that time, a woman needs a mate to help keep her and the baby safe, well fed and healthy...so the body creates hormones to bond men and women together for 2-3 years...that is the extend of love...2-3 years...

Most couples can live together much longer than that through a lot of compromises...

But...

We all only get one life...why live it through compromise all the time??
Some people like it and well, more power to them...for those who do not, society and govment step in to make it difficult for non-couples to live as they naturally should.

Love and romance is driven by fairy tales and they are not for the masses...fairy tales were created for the royal/elite perople so that they will stay together and retain power/money within the family....normal people mostly find it difficult to cope within the boundaries...

When a young couple first have a baby..they are bonded for 2-3 years...during those years, things are usually rosy and nice....so many will have another baby or two...which will bond them for another 2-3 years each...that is where the saying, 7 year itch comes from...with 2-3 children, couples start to itch for sex with other people after being together for 7 years...


As always, people have been trying to best nature ever since we remember...and not many times have nature lost...


Don't harp on sex and infidelity...

Are you happy to see that person at the end of the day? Does seeing that person bring a smile to your face? Are you grateful that the person chose to come spend the night with you??

If you are happy...I mean, truly grateful that given all the choices in his or her life, that person chose to be with you that night? If you are...then why do you care if and who that person fucked during the day???


.

[herodieyoung]

There's a saying : "男人要經得起誘惑! 而女人要耐得起寂寞!"
In marriage there must be commitment, responsibility & most importantly (In my opinion) communication. If one simply get hitched because of peer/social pressure then cracks or should i say indifference will appear sooner or later.....(I have seen how a female colleague of mine having affairs consecutively.....how sad for her child):(