Getting Married

[Yyzen]

:) From my POV , it is very difficult for guys and some women to be committed.

Just thinking , how would a person be really sure that he/she is the one you want to marry? Reading so many posts of "bad" marriage and knowing some cases in RL .. seriously i feel that there is no more meaning to tie the knot...

Recent the Alvin and Yuki Saga, was kinda shocking sorry guys but alvin was totally heartless ... i mean i could understand why guys have diff girls as partners in order to have a new or fresh feeling .. most still goes back to their wives/gf after that but... do they still love their wife/gf? .. why would someone want to keep a long term "mistress" when guys just wanna have fun? cant they just have ONS instead?or having someone new, younger and fun makes you forget that someone old had been thru hardships with you?

A man who proposed but in the end cancel the wedding.. seriously? Wasting time... perhaps this is how we differentiate between a smarter guy and a dumb guy? why cant he just have sex with the 3rd party and just dump her? i believe Yuki would still forgive him..

It's just so difficult to really believe that a man would love a woman whole heartedly. ah.. that's life isnt it? so contradicting :) marriage is a very tough decision .. i guess being left on the shelve wasn't so bad afterall :) lol

[fargo]

Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

Honestly, it's not easy to stay together .... *sigh*
Suddenly lost all freedom .....

[wells]

Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

Honestly, it's not easy to stay together .... *sigh*
Suddenly lost all freedom .....

I agreed with bro fargo, haiz...freedom cut 90%. what to do since you have decided. Commitment and trust really comes into the picture otherwise very fast game over.

[hunter888]

Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

Honestly, it's not easy to stay together .... *sigh*
Suddenly lost all freedom .....

Getting married is like going to the toilet

You can't wait to get in, after that you can't wait to get out.

[Absolute]

[QUOTE=fargo;8248445]Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

QUOTE]

For me, it's "before getting married, die die also don't want to be conned into marriage. Now still not married, luckily I am not married".

I have no regrets for staying single. 1 + 1 is not necessarily 3. Married people often tried to act smart by using this to convince themselves and others that they have been right to get married. They could well be right but marriage is not for everyone.

[eozei]

I guess I wouldn't understand exactly how you feel, given that I've known (or assumed) right from the beginning that I'd like to be married one day. At the same time, I understand your concerns -- you think that in marriage it is easy for one or both parties to stray, regardless of fault.

I honestly believe that when one party strays in a marriage, even the one who was cheated on is at fault. Call me idealistic, but I believe that one party would only stray if the other cannot provide him what he needs. A former colleague's husband cheated on her, but when I probed her for more information, it popped out that she had actually been refusing him sex. I do not mean to say that all cases can be generalised from this single scenario, but I do believe it to be the case.

In the end, in marriage, as in any relationship, both parties need to work. Some people work hard when they are in the chase, and they can stop working once they are attached or married. That should hardly be the case.

[maxsee]

Unless u seriously wants a child...no point looking into marriage nowadays with woman charter around....just maintains a BGR la....more practical...and u can walk out with no penalty if things dun work out one day.....:D:D:D

[Rickey]

:) From my POV , it is very difficult for guys and some women to be committed.

Just thinking , how would a person be really sure that he/she is the one you want to marry? Reading so many posts of "bad" marriage and knowing some cases in RL .. seriously i feel that there is no more meaning to tie the knot...

It's just so difficult to really believe that a man would love a woman whole heartedly. ah.. that's life isnt it? so contradicting :) marriage is a very tough decision .. i guess being left on the shelve wasn't so bad afterall lol


Marriage is a very serious decision to make, which few of us realise at the PIT...is a commitment for "life" tat can lead to heartbreaking consequences when we are unable to handle tgt wif 1 mind n in a "Giv n Take" or "Help each other" attitude, the many complicated n serious problems n issues of life tat lie ahead of the life-long journey tgt e.g. money, sex, career, children, education, housing, habits, interests etc...until its kinda too late...

Pple get married for all kinds of reasons, be they good or bad...but No, i dun tink we can be very sure tat the person we marry is the right 1, we can only pray n hope it is so....cos its human nature to twist n turn according to circumstances in most cases...Time changes things as well as pple too...Few are those who wld honour their vows or promises...wat said 2day is forgotten 2mr kinda thingy...but the most worrying thing is tat many treat marriage 'lightly' when going into it w/o much consideration or considering the impt factors carefully 1st... cos they r overwhelmed n swept away by the romance of the moment... so many go in wif 1 eye closed or some even wif both eyes closed esp when they say "they are madly in love wif each other" ...

Many r not mentally, emotionally or financially prepared enuff for the long journey of life tgt too...leading to the often heard heartbreaking separations, acrimony towards each other, divorces etc when problems begin to manifest themselves along the way. Perhaps its still the "I" factor of a discordant couple tat will eventually wreck n break their r/s....its the selfish human nature in us to still want to consider ourselves as "I" ,"Me" n "My Freedom" even though we r alrdy married...In marriage, 2 shd actually "become 1"...but sigh tats not happening in some marriages...sad.

No, dun tink one wil be losing much, if they can't find a suitable partner to marry.. tat case, beta not to marry than to GA n marry n live in misery the rest of ur lives. Jus got to find n keep urselves happy in ur own ways or in a no-commitment r/s...

Not sure whether TS is gal or guy....But i still believe it is possible for a man to love a woman wholeheartedly...provided they really "CLICK"...but tats maybe 1 in a million chance...i can do tat for the woman i love but can she do tat in return for me is anybody's guess...lol...


Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

Honestly, it's not easy to stay together .... *sigh*
Suddenly lost all freedom .....
So well said, bro fargo...Another part of our human nature displayed...the grass is always greener over the other side of the fence... n oh FREEDOM !..its human nature again NOT TO LIKE being restricted by any1 in anything we say, tink or do...like tat beta NOT to get married...Yes, it is never easy for any 2 human beings esp of the opp sex to stay tgt for long w/o any problems, leading to break-ups in severe cases..

Getting married is like going to the toilet

You can't wait to get in, after that you can't wait to get out.
Haha...So hilariously said bro hunter !...in a nutshell

Married people often tried to act smart by using this to convince themselves and others that they have been right to get married. They could well be right but marriage is not for everyone.
Yes, perhaps...marriage may not be for every1...only those can giv n take n say sorry n forgive each other for each other's mistakes n flaws...all hv sinned, NO ONE is perfect all the time....

Unless u seriously wants a child...no point looking into marriage nowadays with woman charter around....just maintains a BGR la....more practical...and u can walk out with no penalty if things dun work out one day.....:D:D
Agree wif Bro maxsee !...he has said it all..

[topcook1]

Ask yourself why u wanna get married? For house or children.. Love will eventually fade after honeymoon periods. My POV is that freedom is most important.

[shiokpleasure]

it's to enjoy the other person for who he/she is la.

you go patronise fl, they only give you 30mins of loving nia.

[Justanavgguy]

IMHO, getting married is not about losing one's life or freedom. But more about joining 2 lives as one, and enjoying each other's companionship. Of coz it would also mean that you enjoyed your time together with him/her. And this is why, compatibility is very important. Most people now are just looking for partner so that they will not be alone, and they believe that love is about accepting him/her as a whole, good or bad.

I rather to see it that love is about finding a partner that you will only see the best out of her, even her weakness is something which you do not see as a weakness. Thus for anyone out there, if you are tolerating or putting up in a relationship, and you are constantly arguing on the same weakness or point, I do urge you to take a step back and have the courage to end it......

[joncheong]

If you have friends working in budget hotels like h81, you may ask them how many singaporean colleagues check in after work and during lunchtime for sex... You know how many people cheat..

Marry and once your lady refuse sex, you go have an affair or find wl... Screwed by women charter

[Yyzen]

Unless u seriously wants a child...no point looking into marriage nowadays with woman charter around....just maintains a BGR la....more practical...and u can walk out with no penalty if things dun work out one day.....:D:D:D


now... if you dated a woman for many years, wouldn't she start bugging u to marry her? LOL

[HCKing]

now... if you dated a woman for many years, wouldn't she start bugging u to marry her? LOL

also dun forget the old folks at hm, kaypoh relatives, same age peers, colleagues and many others asking u the same question. :D

[dreamyguy89]

In japan, if your marriage fails, your separation is 10 years, after which you may file for divorce and the judge screws your mind upside down. After passing the examination, you may then call off.

Thank God you are getting married in Singapore else, Hell awaits you, brother.

Anyway, marriage is like having a 2nd mum in the family.. thats why MIL and your wife can't get along well. The chinese says, one mountain cannot hold two tigers.

Don't know why woman love to nag so much.. even if they are not nagging before marriage.

In their first 30 years of life, they nag their husband to death bed..
In the last 30 years of their life, they nag their son to marriage.. (2nd death bed).

Quite an achievement. :P

[deludedgal]

if married and have house can have sex everywhere in house... kitchen, washroom, living room .. table.. .. yr plus point for getting married..

if not married,

sex in car - caught by video cam in carpark, other tee ko pek, youngsters who like to stomp

sex in hotel - 4 star to expensive to go everyday.. hotel 81 a bit cheap.. and pple giving u dirty looks at the counter

sex in yr bf/gf house - family members at home. and yes they are not stupid and know when u lock yr bedroom doors..

not married and need sex = very sad

[sta1100]

Getting married is like going to the toilet

You can't wait to get in, after that you can't wait to get out.

That a good one, agreed with you on this

[Max77]

With reference to the shocking divorce rate. There must be a 288hrs happy marriage course made mandatory even before take number at ROM.

if anyone fail that course, must pay 2k fine

Im pretty sure divorce rate would lower significantly.

oh wait! only Singaporean will willingly eat into this and its so full of foreigner now..

[Goldenking]

With reference to the shocking divorce rate. There must be a 288hrs happy marriage course made mandatory even before take number at ROM.

if anyone fail that course, must pay 2k fine

Im pretty sure divorce rate would lower significantly.

oh wait! only Singaporean will willingly eat into this and its so full of foreigner now..

I just got married.

Since i didn't take that course. Wait for them to bill me then.

[JuzNiceM]

Might as well do like the SOC ...

Renew every 2 years, no SOC cannot work at all,

so if never renew marriage course cert (whatever we call it), the marriage is off and we can re-apply with new spouse, sounds good? lolxx

[Meow^^]

Marriage is something that was passed down from ancient time. A ceremony of love and also an official together announcement.

Later days, marriage was slowly been classified into commercial or non commercial thingy. When you use marriage to gain an monetary or some other form of benefits it's commercial. Where non commercial are those really wants to be together.

A marriage used to be a simple ceremony for relatives and friends to gather and to observe the greatest love of two person, and it's just that simple. But now, it's not....it's becoming a stress to people because people scare of failure and also other factors. Marriage had lost it initial meaning and evolved into something we fear of.

To me, marriage is like a box of chocolates. it look nice out side but you need to take to gamble when you eat it because you will never know if you like that chocolate taste. :p

[Odin00]

Some woman are good for shag but bad for rearing children.

[Meow^^]

Some woman are good for shag but bad for rearing children.

Discrimination? :eek:

[Odin00]

Species 1 , 2 and 3 taught me, for breeding you need to be careful of genetic diseases, like "running away syndrome", "where is my money syndrome" and the most dreaded "I have a pussy you need me syndrome"

Avoid these genetic defects at all cost.

[Rickey]

Marriage is something that was passed down from ancient time. A ceremony of love and also an official together announcement.

A marriage used to be a simple ceremony for relatives and friends to gather and to observe the greatest love of two person, and it's just that simple. But now, it's not....it's becoming a stress to people because people scare of failure and also other factors. Marriage had lost it initial meaning and evolved into something we fear of.

To me, marriage is like a box of chocolates.... it look nice out side but you need to take to gamble when you eat it because you will never know if you like that chocolate taste. :p
Its nice to read the views n definition of "Marriage" from a woman's POV...Thank you, sis meow^^ for adding to mine...:)

Like particularly ur analogy of marriage to a "box of chocolate"...perhaps tats why some pple advocate a "test drive" period for those who wanna get married...and maybe tat could be some of the reasons why there r many pple hesitating n fearing to get married out there wif all its accompanying problems according to some news article report...for one thing, the guys may be fearing a sexless marriage n having to find other alternatives whilst the gals fear sexual betrayal by their man which is a common phenomenon since time immemorial...

So its really a risk going into marriage wif some1 of the opposite sex esp if you do not hv enough time to know the other person well...even then one can never be sure of wat lies ahead of the lifelong journey...anything can happen actually, there may be twists n turns...to friends, who wanna get married, do make sure to make all the necessary checks carefully b4 walking down the aisle to say "I do" wif ur selected partner...at least, do ur due diligence...tat might make a big difference to ur live journey going forward..

Wldn't mind to upzz ur points again if i could...Thank you, sis, for ur many contributions to tis forum...:)

[Triple70]

Marriage Cert shd auto expire after 5 yrs.
If still happy together, can renew another 5 yrs.
If no more feeling, dun need emo each other.. just part ways.

Why marry then? one might ask..
Marriage is to legitimise the kids and HDB flat..

Good Idea?

[Meow^^]

Too bad, we can't have a "Cooling" period for marraige like some commercialized buisness. So, think and conduct any test run during the courtship, do some math and set some objectives so that you can know what you are into when you are nearier to the marriage.

Nothing will go into smooth sailing if you don't plan and excecute it. Do not just think that things will be alright by the end of the day. Be prepare to expect the unexpected. That's my 2 cent :p

[gcvinz]

Before get married, thinking of getting into marriage,
After get married, thinking of getting out of marriage....

Honestly, it's not easy to stay together .... *sigh*
Suddenly lost all freedom .....

Totally agree bro. Loss Of freedom..

How to resolve it man. Im trying to get back some freedom. Sigh.

After marriage, beside work is home. Nothing else. Go out for personal stuff, come home face black face. Wth...

[ChihiroAyasato]

My magatama tells me that both man and woman nowadays a doesn't fancy marriage, and most of them sign on the paper call ROM cert is merely because of the following reasons:

1. To get a flat
2. To make sure their children have names of both parents on their birth cert.
3. To have clean raw sex everyday with less worries of STDs and other issues with FLs
4. To shut the mosey relatives and irritating parents mouth.
5. To make sure their foreigner girlfriend gets a PR/citizenship to stay by their side instead of having to travel to and fro to meet.

This is really depressing because marriage is suppose to be something sacred, a bonding ceremony of 2 persons, 2 families for a lifetime.
And what's even saddening is that being a lawyer I'm handling more and more cases of divorce and married people drafting wills so that their other half gets nothing when they died.

Marriage is like a game, you will never know who's the winner until the end of it.