Ex girlfriend is asking for alimony.

[primechoice]

Hey guys,

I am lost and I dont know what to do now.
i am newly married, 1 year plus. we haven't planned for family or anything yet. then suddenly, my ex-gf contacted me. she said that she has been taking care of my son and back then she was married. she had an affair with me and she even lied to me being single back then.

she said her number - 2 son belongs to me while number 1 and 3 belong to her ex-husband or current husband, i dont even know. so many lies and twists i got myself blur too.
she engaged a lawyer and asked for an alimony of 1xxx/month for that boy who is i believe 6-7 years old now.

do i need to obediently pay her? all along she has never told me that he is my son. she kept quiet when she gave birth to him. i have seen him only once in my life. she once hinted that he was mine and that's all. i didnt bother probing further because back then there was no problem. turning back time, i should have probed further. also back then, she lied, saying she was single, she got pregnant and then disappeared, came back 3 years later saying she was back with her husband and gave birth to 2 more kids. etc. lots of lies covering another. making the matter worse, she was married then, committed adultery and now, an ex bf has to take care of a son who he is still unsure if he is his or not.

she challenged me for paternity tests but she wants me to pay for everything too.

bros, any suggestions?

[gilberts]

Do a DNA test it does not cos much instead throwing money into a endless hole in the end might not be yours

[yangguo]

she challenged me for paternity tests but she wants me to pay for everything too.

bros, any suggestions?

Don't you wanna know whether you are the real father of her 2nd child?

Anyway the cost of a DNA test will not cost you a bomb, it probably costs slight more than $600.

If you are proven to be the child's real father, I urge you to seek advice from your lawyer whether you are legally liable to pay alimony to her since she was not married to you.

Ethnically and morally speaking, I think you should do so.

[sta1100]

Hi bro, can you answer the following :

1) how long has she gone back before she reappears to inform you that she has tr kid
2) where is she from
3) how long you know before she screw her raw
4) what did she work as when you know her

With this information we might be able to advice you

[primechoice]

Don't you wanna know whether you are the real father of her 2nd child?

Anyway the cost of a DNA test will not cost you a bomb, it probably costs slight more than $600.

If you are proven to be the child's real father, I urge you to seek advice from your lawyer whether you are legally liable to pay alimony to her since she was not married to you.

Ethnically and morally speaking, I think you should do so.

Ethnically and morally, I dont mind but dont just bomb out of a sudden demanding all these. i have my personal plans too.

[primechoice]

Hi bro, can you answer the following :

1) how long has she gone back before she reappears to inform you that she has tr kid
2) where is she from
3) how long you know before she screw her raw
4) what did she work as when you know her

With this information we might be able to advice you

She is singaporean. I was in my last year of Poly when i met her. she is 2-3 years my senior. I believe it was in 2002 or so. She told me she was pregnant and that she has a husband. I was shocked. She then went MIA for about 2-3 years (unreachable). She came back and just dropped me an SMS that she is back in Singapore. She told me she gave birth to a baby (still married to her hubby then)

A few years later, she told me she is getting a divorce. How that went through up til now, I am unsure. a few months ago she called me, saying that her hubby is paying for her kids and her and she wants me to pay for her second child and then she went MIA again and then the letter came.

question 3. I was in school back then and i wanted a gf/wife. i always took precaution but she always tried to do me raw. i think we had it raw twice or thrice.

question 4. too sensitive.... :)

[Brainstorm]

she said her number - 2 son belongs to me while number 1 and 3 belong to her ex-husband or current husband

so many lies and twists i got myself blur too.

she engaged a lawyer and asked for an alimony of 1xxx/month for that boy who is i believe 6-7 years old now.

she challenged me for paternity tests but she wants me to pay for everything too.

The lawyer's letter is a good way of scaring guys who don't know their rights in law. Firstly, alimony is what an ex-husband gives to his ex-wife. I think you are referring to child maintenance. Thanks to Cao Guo Hui, we men have a better idea of all these issues now. If you didn't go any paternity tests, you can't be liable for any child maintenance. Under our law, no one can force you to take the test too. So you can die die don't do the test.

But you sound like a nice guy who is willing to raise the child if the child is indeed yours. But she is a persistent liar. Could it be a case where the ex-husband can't pay enough child maintenance for 3 kids, that's why she needs to find extra source of income for child maintenance? could the ex-husband be paying for 3 kids now and she wants you to pay for the 2nd kid? Then the mum will receive 2 sets of child maintenance for the 2nd kid right? How can like that?

Seek legal advice from a lawyer. Don't save the money, the other party already contacted a lawyer. If you chose to do a paternity test, why not ask for the blood group of the child before doing the test? Actually, sometimes from the blood group, you will know the kid isn't yours. If the mum's blood type is A, your blood type is A, the kid's blood type won't be AB right?

[primechoice]

yes yes, child maintenance is the term they use.
however, in the letter, it was stated this way, before she applies to court for an order for you to provide a reasonable monthly maintenance for xxxx, we have been instructed to write to you, on a strictly without prejudice basis blablabla...

and then,
we are confident that as the natural father, you will see the need to ensure that his welfare is well looked after and he is nor made to suffer as a result of our client's inability to provide .....

it makes it seems like I am against the law. honestly, i dont know. can she apply for court order? my case sounds like Cao Guo Hui, yes but again, he is a celebrity. lots of people are on his side. ahahaha i am just an ordinary dude.

i heard from my friend, just die die dont pay for it. die die dont pay cos if i start, in the future, she wanna get nasty, she will become unreasonable and demand for more....

[Schnitzer]

no need to pay bro..get the test done..and if indeed it was truly yours, it will child maintenance only...anyway..she cant hold u ransom as ur not married to her at any point of time u were bonking her n after right ?! to build your case, dig some info on her past..who knows..u might end up having an ace on your sleeve...;)

[Brainstorm]

You must understand how lawyers earn money. Lawyers earn money regardless of whether their clients win or lose a case. So this lawyer knows her case is weak, otherwise the letter won't be sent out on a without prejudice manner already. This lawyer is also hoping you will cock up and start paying. Don't ever pay or admit responsibility, especially when the kid might not be yours. Thank goodness you came to this forum. Now go get a cheap lawyer to write a letter back.

You didn't break any law. Don't worry. It's not a crime to have sex with her.

and then, we are confident that as the natural father, you will see the need to ensure that his welfare is well looked after and he is nor made to suffer as a result of our client's inability to provide .....

The above statement is the most talk cock statement, meant to bluff you. It sounds very reasonable but it's based on the assumption that you are the natural father. If I were you, I will write back that you can't be assumed to be the natural father and you have no legal responsibility to prove the child is yours. Get a lawyer to use lawyer language to shoot them back. Do not ever do any paternity test without getting legal advice first. There is no law to force you to do a paternity test in Singapore, please remember that.

[primechoice]

Wow,
thanks bros. Anyway, i have been browsing this forum for quite a while la. normal, lurkers. then when i got busy, i didnt read but when i got this letter, i know that i can get some decent advise here.

next question, any cheap and good lawyer to intro?
i am so glad this if favouring me.

[primechoice]

anyway, for now, i just ignore it until i get a lawyer?
the line that scares me is, "before she applies to court for an order for you to provide a reasonable monthly maintenance for....."

[Spectrre]

Lawyers always like to use fancy words to scare pple.

we are confident that as the natural father, you will see the need to ensure that his welfare is well looked after and he is nor made to suffer as a result of our client's inability to provide .....

Talk Cock la.

Lawyers can only scare pple who dont know the law or when they are really guilty.

[sean69]

my case sounds like Cao Guo Hui, yes but again, he is a celebrity. lots of people are on his side. ahahaha i am just an ordinary dude.
....

actually.. not a lot of pple is on CGH's side... but thanks to him, you should know that no one can force you to take a DNA/paternity test..

since she is a divorcee, she is getting alimony and child support from her ex-husband.. she is milking you for additional money... if her ex-husband knows that one of the kids is not his, he will not pay child support for that kid... who knows, he may even make a big fuss and refuse to pay alimony cos she committed adultery while they were still married..

[primechoice]

Lawyers always like to use fancy words to scare pple.

we are confident that as the natural father, you will see the need to ensure that his welfare is well looked after and he is nor made to suffer as a result of our client's inability to provide .....

Talk Cock la.

Lawyers can only scare pple who dont know the law or when they are really guilty.
In this case, I am innocent until proven guilty, secondly, i dunno the law if she can enforce anything on me. Well, not until bro brainstorm opened up some lights at the end of the tunnel and some nice moral support from bro schnitzer.

I honestly dont mind helping but dont force me and i dont want it to be recorded that i am helping that in the future if i wanna back out, i cant.

[primechoice]

actually.. not a lot of pple is on CGH's side... but thanks to him, you should know that no one can force you to take a DNA/paternity test..

since she is a divorcee, she is getting alimony and child support from her ex-husband.. she is milking you for additional money... if her ex-husband knows that one of the kids is not his, he will not pay child support for that kid... who knows, he may even make a big fuss and refuse to pay alimony cos she committed adultery while they were still married..
Can he do that?
Is she really milking me? Gosh, all the mixed feelings.

[Brainstorm]

the line that scares me is, "before she applies to court for an order for you to provide a reasonable monthly maintenance for....."

This is another talk cock, scare people line. She can always apply but it doesn't mean she will get it. If her case is strong, the letter won't be on a without prejudice basis. There is no connection between you and the child. No DNA tests, no legal documents. All based on the words of a woman who has consistently lie to you. Don't even think of helping her. Sometimes you need to be cruel to others to be kind to yourself. If you pay, she will surely record it down and use it in future to get more out of you.

Why not try HOH law? Seen their advertisement on the TV, seems like they specialise in such small cases.

As for CGH, I think he got scammed. Lady came down, make big hoo-haa and then refuse to do DNA test. I think she is trying to fleece money out of him because he is a public figure in Singapore. If she really got a case, why will she not want to do a DNA test? Last reported, she is uncontactable after she returned to Shanghai right? She must have thought CGH would have given her money without going through the DNA test. When CGH says he will do DNA test, she probably knows her game of lies will be exposed soon. Not that I pity CGH. Glad it happened to him.

[primechoice]

bro brainstorm,
what if she insisted on paternal test?
in your last post, it was the lady who didnt wanna do the test but in my case, what if she wants me to do it? do i have to do it?

if on the worst case scenario, the boy is mine, what do i do?
they want me to start paying on 1st November and i just received the letter today.
HOH law firm yah? maybe i should give them a call. any other law firm to recommend my case?

[Brainstorm]

what if she insisted on paternal test?

they want me to start paying on 1st November and i just received the letter today.

No one can force you to do paternity test. So what if she insist? You have your rights. What bullshit is this? Today receive letter, tomorrow must pay. Sounds more and more like a con job. Even the blood sucking Singapore Govt gives you 14 days to pay your traffic fines.

Go get a lawyer and get proper advice. I've no other law firms in mind. Do keep us updated.

[primechoice]

I will constantly update this thread. :)
meanwhile, i guess i will ask around for a referral.

edit: Please if any others know more, feel free to update here too.
Thanks a bunch guys.

[yangguo]

bro brainstorm,
what if she insisted on paternal test?
in your last post, it was the lady who didnt wanna do the test but in my case, what if she wants me to do it? do i have to do it?

In case you did not read my earlier posting, allow me to repeat myself.

"Don't you wanna know whether you are the natural father of her 2nd child?"

if on the worst case scenario, the boy is mine, what do i do?

Look on the bright side of the life, you have become a father now.

I believe you will know instinctly what you should do as a father.


HOH law firm yah? maybe i should give them a call. any other law firm to recommend my case?

I am pretty sure you do not need a Queen's Counsel to represent you in the court, right?

[porscheclub]

TS, stop wasting our time here. Go get a DNA test asap & make sure nothing is tainted in the process.

There was a recent case where a woman had 3 BFs & got pregnant then decided the child belongs to two BFs. She gave birth & didn't marry either until a few years later while choosing for the better man who can provide & give her a better life. :rolleyes: Yes, two sad fellows kept on favouring her & the child.

So, she took their samples for DNA test & married one. Some years later the husband realised that the child doesn't look like him & did a DNA. Alas, he is not the father. So, divorced.

The woman mixed up the DNA samples & chose the wrong man.

There are thousands of lawyers in Singapore & all letters sent out will be issued as "without prejudice" until found guilty ;) Don't sweat about it, just get a lawyer to shoot a letter back then arrange for a date to do the test with witnesses if possible.

[porscheclub]

Oh, in the worst scenario that the kid is indeed yours then you'll have a headache. She is possibly not a good mother to your child, you'll have to understand his needs & have the right in his upbringing. Your lawyer will advice you on these.

Welcome to fatherhood! :D

[Happy555]

Oh, in the worst scenario that the kid is indeed yours then you'll have a headache. She is possibly not a good mother to your child, you'll have to understand his needs & have the right in his upbringing. Your lawyer will advice you on these.

Welcome to fatherhood! :D

Yeah, i was thinking tha if TS is the father n the ex, obviously 1 messed up bitch, cant look after the kid, TS would be suddenly be thrown into premature fatherhood man...

[wally888]

TS, i think u shd oso consider your wife's feeling. Does she knew of this situation? If yes, will she b providing support to u?

u shd oso find out your ex gf's objective. Why suddenly bring this issue up after so many years? Maybe u can just meet her for a heart to heart talk?

My humble 2 cents. :)

[see see only]

TS, i think u shd oso consider your wife's feeling.

Go consult a lawyer ... she has a husband ... legally is easy to settle .... unless she divorce her husband or the other way round.... :o

As mentioned by bro wally888 .... your present wife could be your most headache .. :rolleyes: .... be truthful to her in a tactful way :cool:

[primechoice]

My wife knew about it.
anyway, my ex gf contacted me. she mentioned that she only wants money, she doesnt want him to even know i am the father (if it happens to be) she doesnt wanna lose her son.

[see see only]

My wife knew about it.
anyway, my ex gf contacted me. she mentioned that she only wants money, she doesnt want him to even know i am the father (if it happens to be) she doesnt wanna lose her son.

OMG ... without her husband knowing it ... :rolleyes: ........... she just want extra income benefiting from this possible situation ... :eek: for her own use ... tat's wont go to the kid directly ....

What a greedy woman :mad:

[primechoice]

exactly thats why i am not keen to give her a single cent at all.

[joshblue]

Women's Charter section 69

Except where an agreement or order of court otherwise provides, it shall be the duty of a parent to maintain or contribute to the maintenance of his or her children, whether they are in his or her custody or the custody of any other person, and whether they are legitimate or illegitimate, either by providing them with such accommodation, clothing, food and education as may be reasonable having regard to his or her means and station in life or by paying the cost thereof.

It will fall on the proof of parentage. A paternity test need not be the only conclusive test. If the lady can prove that at the time of conception it was not possible for her to have carnal relations with her husband (husband overseas), and she had carnal relations with you, then you are in all likelihood the father. Then must pay.

[husky_hush]

Women's Charter section 69

Except where an agreement or order of court otherwise provides, it shall be the duty of a parent to maintain or contribute to the maintenance of his or her children, whether they are in his or her custody or the custody of any other person, and whether they are legitimate or illegitimate, either by providing them with such accommodation, clothing, food and education as may be reasonable having regard to his or her means and station in life or by paying the cost thereof.

It will fall on the proof of parentage. A paternity test need not be the only conclusive test. If the lady can prove that at the time of conception it was not possible for her to have carnal relations with her husband (husband overseas), and she had carnal relations with you, then you are in all likelihood the father. Then must pay.

:D maybe ts can consider engage bro jb as lawyer ..... :p

[Greatking]

Not mandate by law to do dna under civil lawsuit.

She cant do a test without ur consent.

She got a busy past.

Seek advise from law firm on e change ti win defamation case

[Intltuk]

Women's Charter section 69

Except where an agreement or order of court otherwise provides, it shall be the duty of a parent to maintain or contribute to the maintenance of his or her children, whether they are in his or her custody or the custody of any other person, and whether they are legitimate or illegitimate, either by providing them with such accommodation, clothing, food and education as may be reasonable having regard to his or her means and station in life or by paying the cost thereof.

It will fall on the proof of parentage. A paternity test need not be the only conclusive test. If the lady can prove that at the time of conception it was not possible for her to have carnal relations with her husband (husband overseas), and she had carnal relations with you, then you are in all likelihood the father. Then must pay.
I think u need to read the law in the right context. In this case, only a DNA can be proof. Imagine if u interpretation is true........a lot of men in S'pore are in trouble :D.


Anyway TS, since she has initiated this......ur recourse, as stated by some forumers here.........get a DNA test and lawyer...u need to settle this...one way or another.

[yunnamhaircare]

Also ask your lawyer whether you can get your ex-gf to pay for your lawyer bills and DNA test if she is finally found to be just trying to mess around. Remember to keep all your receipts from DNA test and law consultation. :p

[primechoice]

Well, I dropped her an email that I will be in touch with her with my lawyer.
I havent done so since I have been busy myself. I hear nothing from her and her lawyers too.
In any ways, is it possible for her to get child support from me and alimony from her ex husband?
She was married and divorced now.
She claimed no.1 is her ex husband. no.2 is mine and no.3 is her ex husband.

I am lost in her stories. it kinda differs every time.

Anyway, in Terrence's case, it seems like he lost the case.

[primechoice]

In case you did not read my earlier posting, allow me to repeat myself.

"Don't you wanna know whether you are the natural father of her 2nd child?"



Look on the bright side of the life, you have become a father now.

I believe you will know instinctly what you should do as a father.



I am pretty sure you do not need a Queen's Counsel to represent you in the court, right?

What a demoralizing friday....

to bro yangguo,

Having a child, of cos it is great but not a surprise party after so many years.....
This just clashes with all the plannings i have in my life too. Not everything is as easy as ABC and the kid doesnt even know me at all. Worst of all, i try to find the money to pay her, she doesnt allow me to exercise anything at all. I am not allowed to see him, recognise him, etc. now you think, is that fair?

[Phuture]

I think getting a legal opinion is the best way to sort this out. And doing it soon will put a stop to all the various scenarios playing in your mind. In all likelihood, the kid is not yours. But you want to be sure. If she's so cock sure the kid is yours, wont she be the one pushing for the test so that you'll have to pay up ASAP?

[primechoice]

I think getting a legal opinion is the best way to sort this out. And doing it soon will put a stop to all the various scenarios playing in your mind. In all likelihood, the kid is not yours. But you want to be sure. If she's so cock sure the kid is yours, wont she be the one pushing for the test so that you'll have to pay up ASAP?

yes,
she has been asking me to do test and she kept saying that so do u agree and will fully pay the test? over the sms.

[asdfghjkl]

so CGH has to pay for his PRC child? :o

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[saintsrsaf]

Any place to recommend for a DNA test?

[newhere]

I don't get it. Isn't the ex-husband the legal father of this child? Isn't there a "father" in the child's Singapore birth cert i.e. the first husband?

If there is, he is liable for all child maintanence until a certain age, even if the child is not genetically his; without his knowledge. One cannot absolve one's liability as a parent in the eyes of the law, unless you died or gone MIA abroad. No such thing as "divorcing" your children.

As for the TS, I believe there cannot be 2 fathers in the eyes of the law. So you probably are worrying about nothing. Do check with your nearest friendly male family lawyer.:D

[camry108]

TS, my humble advice is for you to seek legal advice and stop talking to the woman at all.

My Co hired quite a few FW and sometimes I have to help my HR dept to handle some lawyer letters sent by FWs's to try to claim compensation for work injury (no choice coz the HR gal very teh :D).

The pt is once they have engaged legal representation, you can ONLY deal with them via their lawyer, most of us will prefer to get our own and talk to them.

The most economical way is to just seek legal advice and prepare a set of questions to ask your lawyer and consult on the best recourse, remember this the more you ask the lawyer to do for you, the more u pay, so keep the lawyer's work to min, every lawyer will tell u, u can fight the case, but if really do that the cost if very high.

Also don't go to HOH lah (they help FW to claim), not really up to par

[Ladyrain]

TS, stop wasting our time here. Go get a DNA test asap & make sure nothing is tainted in the process.

There was a recent case where a woman had 3 BFs & got pregnant then decided the child belongs to two BFs. She gave birth & didn't marry either until a few years later while choosing for the better man who can provide & give her a better life. :rolleyes: Yes, two sad fellows kept on favouring her & the child.

So, she took their samples for DNA test & married one. Some years later the husband realised that the child doesn't look like him & did a DNA. Alas, he is not the father. So, divorced.

The woman mixed up the DNA samples & chose the wrong man.

There are thousands of lawyers in Singapore & all letters sent out will be issued as "without prejudice" until found guilty ;) Don't sweat about it, just get
a lawyer to shoot a letter back then arrange for a date to do the test with witnesses if possible.
Interesting fact. Hang around with both until she's happy with her decision?
Wow. :eek:

[adonis]

...... I am lost in her stories. it kinda differs every time.
....

May b she isn't telling u the truth?

[primechoice]

Update:

She sent an email this time, telling me that she wants to proceed to ask for court order for paternity test. again, Without prejudice is hugely written on top.

She then asked me for half the original amount but this time, she wishes for me to pay her in a lump sum up to the kid is 21 years old. At this point, i believe she is still asking for alimony from her ex husband.

Any law firm that you guys recommend?


Bros who keep telling me to bear responsibility, note this: She wants me to bear responsibilities but she doesnt want me to go near the child at all. She doesnt even want the child to know my existence.

[adonis]

No one can force u to go for a DNA test. "Without Prejudice" means whatever's written in dat letter cannot be used in court. If it wasn't proven dat u r the father, she can't claim money from u. If u give her a lump sum, might she later ask u for alimony? Will she, thru her child, claim a portion of your estate after your death? I'm not in the legal profession.

[GorengPisang75]

Maybe i can relate my story to you.

I had this happen 4 times to me, yes correct 4 times.

Apparently some girls will try to cook up stories when you are doung well in
life.

1st time i also like you from no where she popped up and tell me i have a 5 yr
old son, but then i slept with her 7 yrs back, so unless she was pregnant for 2
yrs, i knew it was bullshit

2nd time, same like yours, send letter say this apply and all the nonsense
same like yours, i ask her to turn up at a clinic for DNA test, she refused i
know again bullshit.

3rd time also same as 2nd time

4rd time, was a bit complicated, because the little girl looked like me and i
asked for DNA test and she proceeded, i paid for the test, i was not the
father. This one i think she really thought i was the father, so i don't blame
her.

The other 3 clowns were trying to extort money out of me.

Basically keep cool and your child maintenance is only applicable if the child is
yours.

But that being said the lawyer letter is all bullshit one, no need to scared, i
even got one called up the lawyer for the second one and scold him "pundek".

So don't be afraid, but that being said, if it really is your child, try to support
abit, else tell the lady that you will sue her for damages liable due to
harrasment if the DNA come out false.

[GorengPisang75]

She then asked me for half the original amount but this time, she wishes for
me to pay her in a lump sum up to the kid is 21 years old. At this point, i
believe she is still asking for alimony from her ex husband.


I forgot to add something, she is basically trying to ask you to settle out of
court, trying to frighten you.

Tell her turn up at the DNA clinic with the kid (if you choose to find out if the
kid is yours) or just ask her to fuck off.

If she gives all kind of cock excuses then you know, she wants "Money" and
kid is not yours at all

Don't let this girls take advantage of you, do stand up for yourself.

[spidey7]

TS y no discreet rs btw u n ex gf?

[primechoice]

TS y no discreet rs btw u n ex gf?

I dont get what you are trying to say.

[primechoice]

I forgot to add something, she is basically trying to ask you to settle out of
court, trying to frighten you.

Tell her turn up at the DNA clinic with the kid (if you choose to find out if the
kid is yours) or just ask her to fuck off.

If she gives all kind of cock excuses then you know, she wants "Money" and
kid is not yours at all

Don't let this girls take advantage of you, do stand up for yourself.

Honestly, i think if he is mine, i need to bear responsibility. The only thing stopping me is that, she kept saying i should bear my responsibility but i cannot claim fatherhood of the child at all. she doesnt want anything related to me at all. i find that unfair.

[Huntsman]

Custody and Visitation rights is one issue.
Child support is another.
Whether the court allows you to have visitation rights or custody, you will still need to pay child support if the child is yours.
The mother has no right to deny visitation.

Problems you may or may not have still hinge on one issue - Whether if the child is yours.
If the child is not, then you have no more problems.
If it is yours, you will need to take the appropriate steps to take care of the child.

If the child is yours, you can through a lawyer, have the mother give a sworn statement that she is not receiving nor asking for any child support from any 3rd party eg, her ex husband.
You can then, also through your lawyer, contact her ex husband to verify if he is also paying child support for that child, or if any other parties besides you and the ex is paying child support.

[Huntsman]

In this instance, I suggest you press the issue instead of being passive and reacting to her moves. Where lawyers are concerned, I do not know any nor able to recommend any.
But just for pressing ahead with the DNA test, having a lawyer or not will not change the result.

Just don't go and sign any pre conditions such as if the child is yours, you will pay child support and is willing to forego visitation.
Although Singapore courts will probably declare such pre agreements as null and void should you decide to contest it, it still does unnecessarily complicate matters.

[GorengPisang75]

The only thing stopping me is that, she kept saying i should bear my
responsibility but i cannot claim fatherhood of the child at all. she doesnt
want anything related to me at all. i find that unfair.

It is not up to her to say whther you can or cannot visit your child, that
depends on the presiding judge. The judge will give you day/time you can
visit your kid.

Seriously if you ask my opinion, she does not want you the visit the child
because she is afraid you will discover the child is not yours to begin with.

This is a ploy for money, the kid definately not yours trust me, i have been
through this shit 4 times already.

[adonis]

If your exgrrlfren agrees to visitation rights for u, she might renegade on her word or migrate overseas. What then?

GorengPisang75, dat was v good input. Thks.

[323bimmer]

If she want to claim, then she should be the one paying for the DNA test. If she don't want to pay for it, then don't claim lor.

Even if she go to the courts to apply, the courts will ask for proof first. If no proof, then the court may order a DNA test, but I believe the payment for the DNA test should be from the person who made the complaint. Otherwise, any woman can claim any man in the street and we all men have to pay like siao.

Even if it ends up the child is yours, let the courts decide the amount if she is unreasonable. I believe the court will be the most reasonable.

[Huntsman]

Even if she go to the courts to apply, the courts will ask for proof first. If no proof, then the court may order a DNA test,



In a particular case a few years back, a local court decided it has no right to compel or order an individual to take a DNA test for paternity issues.
The mother convinced the guy that she just wanted to put a name on the birth cert and will not request for anything after. The guy agreed and went for the test, on the condition that he need not provide for the child if the child was his.
Tests confirmed the child was his.

The mother then went back on her word and requested child support.
The prior agreement between them was made null and void.
The guy was ordered to pay child support in that case.

However, I don't know if the law has been changed since then.

[LimAhHuat]

GorengPisang75, dat was v good input. Thks.

Good points from him ;)

[JacqueMerlin]

In a particular case a few years back, a local court decided it has no right to compel or order an individual to take a DNA test for paternity issues.
The mother convinced the guy that she just wanted to put a name on the birth cert and will not request for anything after. The guy agreed and went for the test, on the condition that he need not provide for the child if the child was his.
Tests confirmed the child was his.

The mother then went back on her word and requested child support.
The prior agreement between them was made null and void.
The guy was ordered to pay child support in that case.

However, I don't know if the law has been changed since then.

Happened to me once. An 'ex' came to me claiming her baby is mine and wanted to do a DNA test so that she can 'have a peace of mind'. I said no. I knew that she will change her mind. Never believe it if a girl says you should do a DNA test for whatever reasons. Tell her to eff off. She is using the child to demand for money, the child is a weapon to her. These kind of cases happen mainly with very clever, scheming girls. Never fall for that nonsense. Never believe any promises they make. They have only one aim. Make you the source of their income.