Marrriage Life Getting Worse (Just a ranting thread)

[PortugueseMan]

I met my wife in Uni 10 years ago... Life was great between both of us. Especially our bedroom activities... We used to make love 5-6 times a day when possible. She was shy about it at first but was always open to doing anything with me... from straight sex to even bdsm... we even did it in public a few times... she always told me that she would never be like other women after marriage where their sex drive would slow down... a few years back we got married... still, everything was ok. I do my best to be a good partner... I cook for her, give her massages, and even buy her things that she wanted but couldn't afford... but as time gone by, she started wanting to have sex less and less...

I understood that work was tiring and she would get very emotional about even small things... but never mind la... give and take... soon our love making sessions would get less and less... now I would only get it once a fortnight and only if she was in the mood (Sigh)... I would try to get her into heat but so far have failed at it... she would just push me away and tell me straight "tomorrow la... today I am tired" (She said to me that she will never say these words to me when we were dating)... So end up I have to start Fapping to porn at night...

I tried talking to her about it but she always complaints back by saying that my life so easy... since my job is quite free handed... So all she does is complain about how tired she is after work... this is weird for me as she enjoys the job but I guess she doesn't want to say much on the matter...

After months of not getting any regular action, I started frequenting MPs, finding escorts online and even tried a few lady boys. At first I felt guilty at doing this as I still do love my wife... but after a number of rejections from her to make love, I stopped feeling this way... I look forward to my relaxing sessions these days... even if it is getting costly.

Recently, I met this PRC girl at an MP that I am frequenting regularly... She gives good massage and hj... but after a few times, we started having feelings for each other... I upgraded her to package so that we can spend time together in the room rather than at the massage room... I remember her saying during one of our massage sessions that I was good looking and it was a waste for her that I was married... I said that she was beautiful as well...

Our first time was great... I didn't feel that this was one of my regular fj... After my massage, she asked me if I could ever accept her as what she is... I just got up and kissed her... she kissed back... and she knew my answer... she left and came back with a condom... we did it right there in the massage area... without her boss knowing la... next trip, I upgraded her to full package...

During the times, we made love exactly as what a husband and wife should be doing... more recently, we started doing it raw... I would like to have a baby with her... If we are successful, I will divorce my wife... though I still love her but I think it would be better for her to find another since she has no more spark for me...

Oh well... that's just my story... If you wanna comment or chat with me then go ahead... would love to hear from all you bros and sisters out there...

Cheers!!! :o

[Austere]

If your daughter change..... u will disown her anot? I guess not
If your wife change, you shouldnt too.

Bro, i bet the PRC know you got wife, A woman that go after a married man. Come on la, lets get real..... She is just going to use u as a stepping stone.

You uni grad 10 yrs ago wor, should be doing quite well in your career.


I just feel , you should keep your wife, Play the PRC till u song, change others also can.

But CONTINUE TO TRY AND LIGHT YOU WIFE's FIRE. And pls dont go have children with the PRC ........ You wan your children no mother when she run away ar ?

[PortugueseMan]

Bro... I know the PRC is playing me... and yes she know I have a wife... I have tried many times to light my wife's fire recently... even bring her for couple holiday to a few island resorts... go there she sleep 2-3 days... then only have husband wife time for 1 day before come back... I really am trying to make things better... but as I said... when I try to talk about it, she start nagging and get angry about it... I really want kids and we cannot have kids if she is not even trying... that's why I am ready to go all the way with my PRC lover... I am just taking things as it comes... I always hope that my wife goes back to her normal self but I have been badly disappointed the past year... she also starts taking out her frustrations on me... but thank you much for your advise bro... will keep it under consideration... Cheers!!!


If your daughter change..... u will disown her anot? I guess not
If your wife change, you shouldnt too.

Bro, i bet the PRC know you got wife, A woman that go after a married man. Come on la, lets get real..... She is just going to use u as a stepping stone.

You uni grad 10 yrs ago wor, should be doing quite well in your career.


I just feel , you should keep your wife, Play the PRC till u song, change others also can.

But CONTINUE TO TRY AND LIGHT YOU WIFE's FIRE. And pls dont go have children with the PRC ........ You wan your children no mother when she run away ar ?

[wally888]

Maybe u shd try counselling to save your marriage? Or try whatever means....coz u haven't exhausted all options and u wanna give up:confused:

[PortugueseMan]

Bro... If I even suggest counseling for marriage she will just lose it and I won't hear the end of it... you know how much of issues I had when we went for the post marriage counseling talk... :(:(:(

[sammyboyfor]

All you're doing is describing 95% of all marriages.

Marriage isn't about sex. It's about companionship and mutual support for each other. Your wife should be your best friend. If she isn't, you married the wrong girl. Too many men marry a girl because of the great sex but that is invariably the wrong reason.

If you marry your PRC whore, you'll be facing exactly the same situation you are now a few years down the road.

[PortugueseMan]

She is... Like I said... I am trying my best to keep her happy but so far nothing working... If what I do is not working... the only other explanation I can think of is me... maybe we need time off away from each other... she seems much happier when she goes on holidays with her friends... I always wonder why she easily can drop things for them but find issues when I want to bring her for trips... relationship is never about sex... I quite know that... but even talking to her results in a battle... I just don't know what to do... when I tell her how I am feeling about us, she just shoves it away and pretends that nothing is wrong... So with the prc... I know what to expect... that's why I am willing to risk it...

[Blast88]

I met my wife in Uni 10 years ago... Life was great between both of us. Especially our bedroom activities... We used to make love 5-6 times a day when possible. She was shy about it at first but was always open to doing anything with me... from straight sex to even bdsm... we even did it in public a few times... she always told me that she would never be like other women after marriage where their sex drive would slow down... a few years back we got married... still, everything was ok. I do my best to be a good partner... I cook for her, give her massages, and even buy her things that she wanted but couldn't afford... but as time gone by, she started wanting to have sex less and less...

I understood that work was tiring and she would get very emotional about even small things... but never mind la... give and take... soon our love making sessions would get less and less... now I would only get it once a fortnight and only if she was in the mood (Sigh)... I would try to get her into heat but so far have failed at it... she would just push me away and tell me straight "tomorrow la... today I am tired" (She said to me that she will never say these words to me when we were dating)... So end up I have to start Fapping to porn at night...

I tried talking to her about it but she always complaints back by saying that my life so easy... since my job is quite free handed... So all she does is complain about how tired she is after work... this is weird for me as she enjoys the job but I guess she doesn't want to say much on the matter...

After months of not getting any regular action, I started frequenting MPs, finding escorts online and even tried a few lady boys. At first I felt guilty at doing this as I still do love my wife... but after a number of rejections from her to make love, I stopped feeling this way... I look forward to my relaxing sessions these days... even if it is getting costly.

Recently, I met this PRC girl at an MP that I am frequenting regularly... She gives good massage and hj... but after a few times, we started having feelings for each other... I upgraded her to package so that we can spend time together in the room rather than at the massage room... I remember her saying during one of our massage sessions that I was good looking and it was a waste for her that I was married... I said that she was beautiful as well...

Our first time was great... I didn't feel that this was one of my regular fj... After my massage, she asked me if I could ever accept her as what she is... I just got up and kissed her... she kissed back... and she knew my answer... she left and came back with a condom... we did it right there in the massage area... without her boss knowing la... next trip, I upgraded her to full package...

During the times, we made love exactly as what a husband and wife should be doing... more recently, we started doing it raw... I would like to have a baby with her... If we are successful, I will divorce my wife... though I still love her but I think it would be better for her to find another since she has no more spark for me...

Oh well... that's just my story... If you wanna comment or chat with me then go ahead... would love to hear from all you bros and sisters out there...

Cheers!!! :o

TS,

My advice is forget the whole episode, it just only your sex desire, go back to your wife, divorce is not as a simple as what you think:rolleyes:

[PortugueseMan]

How to forget the whole episode when the series is still going on... this one like TVB drama... got 60++ episodes... Lol!!! XD

[see see only]

TS,

No one will know what went wrong with one's marriage life ... because the story is always told one sided .... :rolleyes:

Nevertheless from your story ... you tried your best but she seem to lose interest in sex which is actually quite common in asian marriage life ... :o

However i suggest that you tell her bluntly is she trying to force you look else where for sex?

Then decide what to do after her reaction ;)

[PortugueseMan]

I would also like to hear from her side... I want to understand her... I don't want to turn to another woman but it is not easy when she doesn't want to discuss matters... All i hear is thesme... She is tired... No mood... My life too easy... No time... Sigh... Oh well... Lets see...

[Miracle Bra]

Marriage is a long journey. It isn't all about sex.

If you divorce your wife, can you ensure that your future PRC wife would not treat you the same as your current wife?

[MrsJD]

Communicate with your wife. There's a possibility that she's playing her own field outside the marriage too.

A woman wont do it wo much feelings. Maybe the marriage is getting stale for her too.

[HCKing]

TS is just yearning hard for some spontaneous sex + GFE.

10 years (or lesser) down the road, it will be another repeat telecast.:D

[tuffcookie]

Please consider my humble adviCe:

Don't solve one problem with another problem. The PRC relationship is not the solution to your current marriage woes.

Tackle the 2 relationships one at a time.

[sonksonk]

like what they say, this common problems in all marriages, wiv too tired to have sex, repeat telecast , 5years down the road with ur prc...

i can guaranteed u many many cheongsters face the same shit as u... and me too.
but the prc thing is too early to judge. how long have u know her? do u really know the real her???? unless u r very v v sure, then better not go down this road. not worth the risk.
but if u are adamant, then my opinion is dat u divorce wif first...no nid to let her know u hav someone else..

[PortugueseMan]

Thanks for the advise... Will see how it goes...

[sammyboyfor]

Thanks for the advise... Will see how it goes...

Should be "Thanks for the ADVICE.".

"Advise" is a verb.

[HairyBottom]

Bro... I know the PRC is playing me... and yes she know I have a wife... I have tried many times to light my wife's fire recently... even bring her for couple holiday to a few island resorts... go there she sleep 2-3 days... then only have husband wife time for 1 day before come back... I really am trying to make things better... but as I said... when I try to talk about it, she start nagging and get angry about it... I really want kids and we cannot have kids if she is not even trying... that's why I am ready to go all the way with my PRC lover... I am just taking things as it comes... I always hope that my wife goes back to her normal self but I have been badly disappointed the past year... she also starts taking out her frustrations on me... but thank you much for your advise bro... will keep it under consideration... Cheers!!!

since u said u know the PRC lover is playing u, why r u still ready to go all the way with her? try your best and have a heart to heart chat with your wife, if things are not getting any better u can still consider marriage counselling. however, i think u should refrain from seeking solace in the arms of PRC masseur as most often than not they will try to make the most out of your situation.

be cool and be strong, good luck. ;)

[kenl8888]

I understand how you are feeling = it's just too hard to break away from something or someone who makes you feel so good. Maybe a heart to heart talk with your wife will solve your problem.. if not follow your feelings.. it's better to have loved and lost instead of carrying on with a loveless marriage..

[swingersx2]

I know a couple with the same problem. The couple has 1 child and the wife has refused to have sex with the husband for over 3 years and she does not accommodate any of her husband's requests. The wife refuses to tell the husband why because she knows it is not going to help anyway but told me that the reasons for her behavior are because her husband is useless, earns only $2K plus a month, has grown fat and ugly over the past few years, and does not bother with household chores. The wife, on the other hand, works out and maintains a good figure, takes care of her looks, dresses well, and holds 2 jobs (1 in the day and sells alcohol at clubs in the night). She said that if she can find a good catch, she will divorce her husband.

[MrsJD]

Eh, i think ur wife post something to u.

http://sammyboysexforum.com/showpost.php?p=7998667&postcount=1

[wally888]

Wow, quite similar from TS mentioned here.......but they have not reach the irrepairable stage yet......TS take care!


Eh, i think ur wife post something to u.

http://sammyboysexforum.com/showpost.php?p=7998667&postcount=1

[Rickey]

I met my wife in Uni 10 years ago... Life was great between both of us. Especially our bedroom activities... We used to make love 5-6 times a day when possible. She was shy about it at first but was always open to doing anything with me... from straight sex to even bdsm... we even did it in public a few times... she always told me that she would never be like other women after marriage where their sex drive would slow down... a few years back we got married... still, everything was ok. I do my best to be a good partner... I cook for her, give her massages, and even buy her things that she wanted but couldn't afford... but as time gone by, she started wanting to have sex less and less...

During the times, we made love exactly as what a husband and wife should be doing... more recently, we started doing it raw... I would like to have a baby with her... If we are successful, I will divorce my wife... though I still love her but I think it would be better for her to find another since she has no more spark for me...



. If I even suggest counseling for marriage she will just lose it and I won't hear the end of it... you know how much of issues I had when we went for the post marriage counseling talk... :(:

All you're doing is describing 95% of all marriages.

If you marry your PRC whore, you'll be facing exactly the same situation you are now a few years down the road.

She is... Like I said... I am trying my best to keep her happy but so far nothing working... If what I do is not working... the only other explanation I can think of is me... maybe we need time off away from each other... she seems much happier when she goes on holidays with her friends... even talking to her results in a battle... I just don't know what to do... when I tell her how I am feeling about us, she just shoves it away and pretends that nothing is wrong... So with the prc... I know what to expect... that's why I am willing to risk it...


My advice is .. it just only your sex desire, go back to your wife, divorce is not as a simple as what you think:rolleyes:

I don't want to turn to another woman but it is not easy when she doesn't want to discuss matters... All i hear is thesme... She is tired... No mood... My life too easy... No time... Sigh... Oh well... Lets see...
Another bro affected by tis all too familiar problem :(...i empathise wif u too, bro..yes, the boss is quite right, 95% of marriages r going the way u r experiencing..

Tats why i like to caution our young guy frens in tis forum as well as those elsewhere intending to walk down the aisle to really consider carefully b4 plunging in...will they be able to live wif a sexless marriage, a few yrs or even a few mths down the road...once in, its not so easy to just turn back as u wish...u will suffer a lot of unhapppiness if u do tat...

Can't really totally blame the wives too, cos they say they r tired out n exhausted having to work as well as look after the family n children at the same time...tiredness does kill the mood for lovemaking somehow..n tats why i tink bringing in a maid in to help in the housework helps quite a lot to improve tis situation n problem.

There's another thread in the Adult Discussion Section "Wife & Sex - Going thru' the motion" which i tink u shd read where more bros are sharing tis same problem..perhaps one of Bro Wizrd's plan there might be suitable for u too...Dun be mistaken n take divorce lightly as an easy solution out of ur problem..when u read the Women's Charter u will find u hv plenty to lose, financially esp if u do not hv a good n strong case against her ..be forewarned, women initiating divorce is very much easier than guys doing the same, they hv much to gain not u...my best wishes to u...

[sane]

Another bro affected by tis all too familiar problem :(...i empathise wif u too, bro..yes, the boss is quite right, 95% of marriages r going the way u r experiencing..

Tats why i like to caution our young guy frens in tis forum as well as those elsewhere intending to walk down the aisle to really consider carefully b4 plunging in...will they be able to live wif a sexless marriage, a few yrs or even a few mths down the road...once in, its not so easy to just turn back as u wish...u will suffer a lot of unhapppiness if u do tat...

Can't really totally blame the wives too, cos they say they r tired out n exhausted having to work as well as look after the family n children at the same time...tiredness does kill the mood for lovemaking somehow..n tats why i tink bringing in a maid in to help in the housework helps quite a lot to improve tis situation n problem.



Well-said bro :) If both can't get together, don't be together just for the sake of getting together.

Problem will soon arise in the future :)

[LengKia]

I know a couple with the same problem. The couple has 1 child and the wife has refused to have sex with the husband for over 3 years and she does not accommodate any of her husband's requests. The wife refuses to tell the husband why because she knows it is not going to help anyway but told me that the reasons for her behavior are because her husband is useless, earns only $2K plus a month, has grown fat and ugly over the past few years, and does not bother with household chores. The wife, on the other hand, works out and maintains a good figure, takes care of her looks, dresses well, and holds 2 jobs (1 in the day and sells alcohol at clubs in the night). She said that if she can find a good catch, she will divorce her husband.

Best is to let go of this relationship. Marriage life isn't that wonderful as it work out to be

[maxsee]

I will never understand why guys are willing to go into marriage nowadays...It is so much better to just go into a relationship and maintain as bf and gf permanently....at least in the event things dun work out years down the road, it is so much easier to walk out of the rs and not having to look over your shoulder and worry about woman charter breathing down your neck.....:D:D:D

[freezetheDB]

I will never understand why guys are willing to go into marriage nowadays...It is so much better to just go into a relationship and maintain as bf and gf permanently....at least in the event things dun work out years down the road, it is so much easier to walk out of the rs and not having to look over your shoulder and worry about woman charter breathing down your neck.....:D:D:D

i think if one is too concerned with his own assets and wrath of women charter then it is at best not to get married.

Marriage is not just about sex. One day viagra or cialis is not gonna work for us and we wont be able to get it up. Our balls will be saggy and the woman you marry may be the one who is still at your side, nagging you but still taking care of you, calling you Old Man instead of Darling.

Marrige is a lifelong committment. If one is not ready better not step into it.

[tantan1234]

Yes. My sex life took a dive too after 3 yrs.

Same reasons, tired , no mood.


Alot of other married friends I heard same prob.

Why huh? Sporean girls... U have to understand:
Sex is a part of marriage, and a impt part.

[milford]

I advise you not to divorce your wife for a massage gal, whom you know for a short period of time. The only thing that binds both of you is only sex. Sex is only a short moment of time.You can continue with your sex package with her and don let your wife knows about it. When you get tired of the girl, you can return back to your wife and marriage intact.

[PortugueseMan]

Thank you all for your advice and understanding... some of it is quite funny and cheered me up... but as I mentioned... I am not encouraging my marriage to disintegrate but am really trying to work it out... but when my wife doesn't want to talk about it or even go for counseling, then I really cannot change myself or the way things are... She is not really that bz because I do the housework, cooking and laundry every time... we still do not have kids...

And I don't thing that link was my wife... lol!!! She is not that technology savvy and the only social network that she is used to is Whatsapp and Facebook...

I know sex is not everything, but it is what keeps couples/husbands & wifes/lovers close to each other... when I mean husband and wife time it also includes dinner and doing other activities together besides sex... and even that I am not getting any response from her... I ended up going for movies alone because she is in no mood to watch as "the timing I choose is not right"... then when I ask her she said up to me... :confused::confused::confused:

All I can do is to keep trying and wait till I cannot wait any more... like I said earlier... see what happens in the next few months...

[mario21]

Hi TS, I'm sorry... I guess ur wife have someone outside...

[queeniegal]

Hi TS, I'm sorry... I guess ur wife have someone outside...

I have the same feeling.

Bring her back to old places whereby both of u have wonderful memories let her reminiscing the past n u try to chase after her like before marriage...

Don't talk abt sex just like courtship.. See how she react?

[wells]

what she like, what she loves, her activities..follow suit and accompany her.

Sometimes when we choose program may not be our love ones like it. Lets say we go for movies, I always choose action and trilling, places i will choose where, go out with friends always go alone without her, many other small things become a big thing.

We have a arguement and never do i realise she do not like it but she just accompany me for things i wanted or do. So now i will switch programs to her liking and ensure it is not one sided life.

[Spectrre]

My wife and me always quarrel.

I am a "anyhow put stuff" guy.
She is a neat freak.

I like to laze around
She dont like me laze around.

I am a heck care happy go lucky guy.
She everything also must nag. Even I go shower timing she also must nag.

When having sex, I like painting and her to bbbj me.
She just like to lie down and fuck.

But even though, me and her still loves one another deeply cause
I love her as a woman and my best buddy in life, not some object that listen to my every whim and sex crazed idea. I got FL to do that for me.

[queeniegal]

My wife and me always quarrel.

I am a "anyhow put stuff" guy.
She is a neat freak.

I like to laze around
She dont like me laze around.

I am a heck care happy go lucky guy.
She everything also must nag. Even I go shower timing she also must nag.

When having sex, I like painting and her to bbbj me.
She just like to lie down and fuck.

But even though, me and her still loves one another deeply cause
I love her as a woman and my best buddy in life, not some object that listen to my every whim and sex crazed idea. I got FL to do that for me.

Ehh if like that why still married in the first place? Best buddy but does nt even have the same type length wave?

Why u still go FL when u are married could it be she found out u goes such places?

If she ask u go is diff but u go without her is lying to her maybe result of this?

[HCKing]

Ehh if like that why still married in the first place? Best buddy but does nt even have the same type length wave?

Why u still go FL when u are married could it be she found out u goes such places?

If she ask u go is diff but u go without her is lying to her maybe result of this?

FL can give bbbj mah.

there r many things FL can do but the wife cant. likewise there r also many things the wife can do but the FL cant.

[queeniegal]

FL can give bbbj mah.

there r many things FL can do but the wife cant. likewise there r also many things the wife can do but the FL cant.

Wife can bbbj? Mean blow job right? Lol sorry I'm quite lost

Hmmmm but after marriage isn't suppose to one partner for the rest of life :p

[jptt]

I really want kids and we cannot have kids if she is not even trying... that's why I am ready to go all the way with my PRC lover... I am just taking things as it comes... I always hope that my wife goes back to her normal self but I have been badly disappointed the past year... she also starts taking out her frustrations on me... but thank you much for your advise bro... will keep it under consideration... Cheers!!!

Bro, suggest u try to repair relationship with ur wife first, having kids is going to make matters worse in ur marriage if both of u quarrel everyday. Also, if divorce, maybe remaining single is better as u likely face the same prob yrs down the road.

[putneyspa]

After you divorce your wife and then marry the PRC, she will become like your wife in bed but then she will have half your assets by then. Then how?:rolleyes:

[sportserj]

Maybe she don't love you anymore.... thats why all the excuses. Just think if you dont love the other party, u will also find lots of excuses....

[cataramp]

time to hire a PI.

anyway, think with your big head not small head. what go with a massage lady and leave your wife? ridiculous..

[Casten]

time to hire a PI.

anyway, think with your big head not small head. what go with a massage lady and leave your wife? ridiculous..

I second that. Meantime restrain urself so when u 2 divorce, She cannot ask for matrimony fee...

[PortugueseMan]

Will do guys... you might be right, she might be seeing someone (but most likely no as she is always home), but also she might be out of love with me... it's very hard to know as I keep mentioning that it is hard to talk to her about it... how to find out when she doesn't want to discuss it...? But again thanks for you suggestions and comments... as I said... I will just take things as it comes... I know that divorce is not easy but I rather pay her off and go off than suffer in a loveless, no-communication marriage... I am just dieing inside every day...

[Kolya]

Sorry to hear your story TS. It's difficult when communication is not there, you just have to try your best ways available to save your marriage. Don't give up if you still love her, whatever the outcome try to put it in a positive way.

Good luck bro

[kaisin64]

Dear Portugeseman, I'm attending counselling with my wife cos I was like you, found someone I could talk to, and had great sex with. Got caught by my wife and realised I should have gone for counselling way before all these happened:( My wife was devastated and she's still feeling terrible. No matter how bad the marriage deteriorated, I shouldn't have strayed. I should have sought help.....

Not everyone knows how to manage/maintain a happy marriage, I'm learning......11yrs later and I knew her 22yrs ago. Marriage is always a work-in-progress. Don't ever give up without trying. Divorce is just an easy way out.

All the best.

[justawife]

Wow yr wife is really good to agree to go counseling... I dun think I will ever forgive my hubby if I caught him..

[kaisin64]

Well to be honest justawife, deep inside I'm not sure if us going for counselling is for the marriage or the kids.

[justawife]

Hmm... I see what you mean. Actually to be honest, once the trust is gone, never ever gonna rebuild it... there will always be shadows lurking. But sad to say men always think with the wrong head leh just for the moment's pleasure...

[moseshoo]

Hey TS, maybe you should tell her your situation and be honest with her abt it. Tell her that she is not making things any easier for the relationship to work and "open table" to talk abt it as husband and wife. I believe she has to open up to you first before she will be able to open up to counselling.. Try to find a chance and have a heart to heart talk. Wish u all the best!! Maybe she is going through a mid-life Crisis???

[Foreva]

Hi TS, I think we are in very similar shoes. That is the reason y I'm here too.

I am a very faithful person as I have never failed my partners in the past too.
But after marriage, I felt like u do.

I read a book called the 5 love language. I believe we belong to the sex one. For my wife, she belongs to the pampered one. As long as I pamper her, she feels loved. For me, it's sex.

But now getting lesser and lesser until I myself deteriorate cos 1 month or 2 time she expect me to last like last time? Wu Kor Ling Boh? Then lesser somemore...

So come here lor, find one time one lor, but sad to say, I still cannot stand for other ppl lor! Like kena Gong Tau like that! How? That is my problem la.

All I want to share with you is, marriage is a commitment. Like me Liddat, just take it like tio gong tau lor. Find other ways to compensate this feeling of deprivation lor.

[acet]

your marriage is full of action but no communication.

that is the complete opposite of a successful marriage.

old couples who are able to go through marriage; who are too old to have action, still communicates with body signals and body language.

sex is not marriage. marriage is not sex. good luck with your future.

[IlikeSYT]

I am experiencing the first part, and I am restraining from doing the next part.

[peachbloom]

sex is not marriage. marriage is not sex.....

This sentence cannot say wrong, not totally right also.

But the impact for a marriage without healthy and fulfilling sex cannot be understimated.

[gcvinz]

My wife and me always quarrel.

I am a "anyhow put stuff" guy.
She is a neat freak.

I like to laze around
She dont like me laze around.

I am a heck care happy go lucky guy.
She everything also must nag. Even I go shower timing she also must nag.

When having sex, I like painting and her to bbbj me.
She just like to lie down and fuck.

But even though, me and her still loves one another deeply cause
I love her as a woman and my best buddy in life, not some object that listen to my every whim and sex crazed idea. I got FL to do that for me.

Bro... Guess im in similiar situation as you.. Sex life is dull and maybe not even once in a month.. End up got to get fl to fulfil tis aspect. Sigh...

But i still love her as a life partner to share my ups n downs..

[ramzchillin]

Bro... Guess im in similiar situation as you.. Sex life is dull and maybe not even once in a month.. End up got to get fl to fulfil tis aspect. Sigh...

But i still love her as a life partner to share my ups n downs..

My wife and me always quarrel.

I am a "anyhow put stuff" guy.
She is a neat freak.

I like to laze around
She dont like me laze around.

I am a heck care happy go lucky guy.
She everything also must nag. Even I go shower timing she also must nag.

When having sex, I like painting and her to bbbj me.
She just like to lie down and fuck.

But even though, me and her still loves one another deeply cause
I love her as a woman and my best buddy in life, not some object that listen to my every whim and sex crazed idea. I got FL to do that for me.

Same experiemce amd totally agree to what bro spectre said. Its communicating, whereas the fantasy. Some women dont like then we respect, either way got others to do for us and we pay their service. Totally a give and take just dont put feelings into it.

[jon2000sg]

life is hard in Singapore

we are just slaves to the economy

stay single, enjoy your fruits of labour

[jammer074]

Same here as TS, only diff is that I have children.

My advise to TS to think carefully wat u want. If you really have a child with the PRC lady and she acted the same way like yr wife after birth, what way will you do? Divorce again and look for another gal that will let u have those kind if heartbeat feeling during courtship like wat u r having now with the PRC.

:D

[pitabooom]

You had just violated Sam's Rule #4.

Suggest you forget about it, wait for 6mths, go for a test and if its negative, dump the bitch and move on with your life with your wife.

[flowbow]

TS I sincerely hope you didn't have sex with your wife after your had raw sex with the PRC WL. :cool:

[speeder500]

Hi TS
Thanks for sharing.
Just a few comments from a person in a similar situation, both regarding the spouse and the ML(I hope it means massage lady).

About the spouse, is there a possibility that she is having an affair? Look out signs...

About the ML, do be careful. You have probably started to pay her 2 to 3 times what you used to pay her per session. Do you chat with her SMS or whatsapp? Do you know her as person very well. MLs meet many men as part of their job and get lots of indecent proposals。unlikely that you are the only one. Her feelings for you, you will never know. They deal with men all the time and will easily manipulate you. There was one bro here who gave quarter mil over one year before he woke up. Who knows, you may be with that same ML.

Real pros can be very patient because they do work on one case at a time. It may be a few years later before she starts to squeeze you.

If you really want to know, leave a few clues about the ML and you'll see... But advise bros here to use PMs only.

If you want to know, leave some clues

[edison07]

Whatever it is, do not forsake your wife and begin a relationship with a WL.

[s(Aint]

Hi TS,

Just wanna say u r not alone in this, I too am facing the same problem.

[Rickey]

Hi TS,

Just wanna say u r not alone in this, I too am facing the same problem.

Sorry to know tat more bros are facing the same problem...haiz...any solutions frm any1 ?...Anw, hv upzz ur points in support, bro...

[sexymilf]

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

[Bigbanger]

Personally I think the occasional affair outside the marriage is no bad thing. Refreshes one, and creates a little guilt, so one compensates by being nicer to the partner with good effects. Also maybe sends some subconscious signals to the partner to "wake up". But one must not get carried away!

[sta1100]

Whatever it is, do not forsake your wife and begin a relationship with a WL.

Yes and no, you have kids pls think over and over again, if not kids than you have to look at (do I still love my wife or does my wife still have feeling for you, do you still have sex and sleeping together in the same room. ??)
It not that you can't fine truth love with a WL but are you able to accept her on her past will you bring it up again if you guy are in a argument ?? To like and to love is 2 different thing.

[stillgottheblue]

Navie, there is only 1% out of 100 to find true love in WL. Many of these women had other vices, like hardcore gambling and drinking, etc... Besides, there are other issues living together.

Yes and no, you have kids pls think over and over again, if not kids than you have to look at (do I still love my wife or does my wife still have feeling for you, do you still have sex and sleeping together in the same room. ??)
It not that you can't fine truth love with a WL but are you able to accept her on her past will you bring it up again if you guy are in a argument ?? To like and to love is 2 different thing.

[Flinty]

Personally I think the occasional affair outside the marriage is no bad thing. Refreshes one, and creates a little guilt, so one compensates by being nicer to the partner with good effects. Also maybe sends some subconscious signals to the partner to "wake up". But one must not get carried away!

ONS, F&F, P4P are acceptable activities but having an affair s a big NO NO if you already have a family.

[Blast88]

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

From husband angle under this circumstances, try to cook for him a sumptious dinner, don't nag, leave him alone for about an hr to gather his though over works & then try to pick up an interesting topics to converse with him after his shower:)

[BiRd13]

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

I'm kind of opposite with you...
We hardly have sex ever since our youngest daughter is out last year august...
The last time I have sex with her (my wife) is nov 2012...

For sure I know that she does not have any affair outside... But I don't know what's the problem as well... Sometimes when try to hug or kiss her, she will say that she's tired etc... And yes, our last hold hand, hugging or even kissing is also Nov 2012...

I wondering how long can this marriage last sometimes...

[Black_Hawk_Up]

i think it almost the same as every marriage.

sometime i get frustrated and got angry. i think our hormone make us aggressive. after you release yourself through DIY or makan outside, things just got back to normal.

there are a lot less kissing and holding of hands now. she just shrugged it off saying already "old husband old wife".

[Highjoys]

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

I think nowadasys people dun like facing the same partner that is why. Getting tired of each other and want "variety" sigh.. really even going erotic or sensual to tease seems to be not working.

[EtherC]

Think with your head not your heart. You know whats the likely outcome if you continue the fling : 5yrs down the road having only 25% of your current assets + a child to raise by yourself. Never let momentary weakness of the flesh make decisions for you.

Sometimes before we shift the blame, reflect hard on ourselves. Very often its hard to see our own flaws. End of the day nobody is perfect. Sounds that you did try but perhaps not in the way your wife likes it?

[Winccent]

The time my wife and I had sex can easily count after married.
Ever since she pregnant 4 years ago (2nd child), we do not have sex Liao. Till now. We seldom talk. For the sake of my children, I have to maintain this way. I know it is very very unhealthy but for the sake of my children. I have to endure.
I like sex and I love sex. So a lot of time DIY.
U r fortunate that she is willing to have so many style with u b4 married. Ask her why she is not giving now? I believe u can resolve it.
I can only say Only time can tell. Decision is yours.

[Flinty]

I think nowadasys people dun like facing the same partner that is why. Getting tired of each other and want "variety" sigh.. really even going erotic or sensual to tease seems to be not working.

Why get married then?

[sexymilf]

anyone out there w a happy marriage n a happy sex life?

[singmarine]

For some reasons, he is not interested in you.

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

[Winters87]

My humble two cents worth of comment would be:

1) A clear line of communication is vital and will determine the following course of action to be made. In my own assumption, male are generally straight forward communication kind of animals and female loves to go round about!! So, it will be used as a guide of how you going to communicate with your partner (however, different couples communicate differently, so, you should know best!!).

2) As we all know two hands were required in order to clap. If one party is unwilling, the other party should try his/ her best to find out the root of the problem. If required, do ask a third party (willing party) to understand the situation of both parties and list out the problems faced by both parties. As third party got a bigger and clearer angle/ view of the situation, he/ she will be able to give better advise and also avoid unnecessary doubts created by any of the two parties.

3) Sex is an important part of marriage, which could impair the relationship badly (which happens in most relationship) but it should never determine if the marriage should goes on or stop there. A clear example would be, love is being expressed in words in early phase of life, action of love (in this case make love or sex, whatever you ladies and gentlemen call it) will be expressed mid phase (however, this phase is shifting towards the early stage), lastly, at the later phase love is not expressed in either words or actions but felt by both parties (imagine how 60 year old man and woman satisfy on bed, kinda difficult ehh).

4) The percentage of emotional needs and physical needs varies in each individual and these needs may varies again in different stages of life (see pointer 3). This would require you people to sense the changes in relationship. To sense means to be a little more detail of the words and action of the other party (as body language tends to give out more signals which you can use as a reference, a person can lie through words but the body language or gesture can hardly hide the lies!!).

5) Normally, when two parties got together for a long period of time, things tends to be monotonous and people tends to take things for granted, without realizing as times goes by, things are slowly changing. Imagine a loveline without 'heartbeats' is at its critical stage of dying and would required a infiltrator to resuscitate. By the point of time you realize, it might not be too late but already have an substantial damage on your relationship. If it does, do look up to pointer 2.

To maintain a healthy loveline is to have ups and downs (which is inevitable). Plan an activity to spice things up!!

Alright, sorry for the essay writing ladies and gentlemen, I've got more to say but I think I shall stop here (if not, I might invite alot of arguments LOL xD).

As for Mr PortugueseMan, my humble advice for you are:

* Is your wife a career type of person? Is she comparing her status against yours?

* In your post 'work was tiring and she would get very emotional about even small things', do you actually go understand why she is emotional about small things? Is it what she does normally? Does it gives off signal or a clue?

* Did you try your very best to do things all in her way? If you did, how do she react? Keyword here is OBSERVE

* Looks like you trust your lady, which is good! However, for me its good to have 99% trust 1% doubt in this phase of relationship. Moreover, the 1% doubt SHOULD NOT leads you to come up with stories that are not base on fact and without hard evidence. Sometimes, you have to doubt the person in order to see the person more clearly!!

* I can see that you really do need alot of sex. No comments here because its genetically coded differently in each individual. BUT, meeting temporary needs is never a long term solution. The china lady may sextisfy your physical needs but is she the type you think you could keep as a wife (put aside the physical needs part)? I believe many of the kor kor and jie jie already list some of the pros and cons to you ehh ;)

* Do you best to hold the marriage alrighty? If your already tried your very best, it would be best for you and your wife to move on in separate ways.. Do not regret, because only assholes regret!!

* If you are determine to be with the china lady, go with 99% doubt 1% trust (not because of the many uncles kanna cheated of their cpf money and blar blar blar). Doubt the person, test the person, doubt and test till you can confirm she is the one. No safes or locks were safe from a determine thief!! So it is in relationships too (just to play safe, you don't know the background of the china lady where her stories were in china, how could you not doubt her?!), when he/ she is determine to cheat on you, he/ she/ they would go to a large extend.

PS 99% trust 1% doubt, 99% doubt 1% trust can be used against anyone!! Please use at your own discretion!!

Those were my two cents worth of comments :)

Peace out
~Winters

[stillgottheblue]

A WL is yours only behind closed doors. Once she leaves that door, she belongs to the public.

[justdifferent]

I met my wife in Uni 10 years ago... Life was great between both of us. Especially our bedroom activities... We used to make love 5-6 times a day when possible. She was shy about it at first but was always open to doing anything with me... from straight sex to even bdsm... we even did it in public a few times... she always told me that she would never be like other women after marriage where their sex drive would slow down... a few years back we got married... still, everything was ok. I do my best to be a good partner... I cook for her, give her massages, and even buy her things that she wanted but couldn't afford... but as time gone by, she started wanting to have sex less and less...

I understood that work was tiring and she would get very emotional about even small things... but never mind la... give and take... soon our love making sessions would get less and less... now I would only get it once a fortnight and only if she was in the mood (Sigh)... I would try to get her into heat but so far have failed at it... she would just push me away and tell me straight "tomorrow la... today I am tired" (She said to me that she will never say these words to me when we were dating)... So end up I have to start Fapping to porn at night...

I tried talking to her about it but she always complaints back by saying that my life so easy... since my job is quite free handed... So all she does is complain about how tired she is after work... this is weird for me as she enjoys the job but I guess she doesn't want to say much on the matter...

After months of not getting any regular action, I started frequenting MPs, finding escorts online and even tried a few lady boys. At first I felt guilty at doing this as I still do love my wife... but after a number of rejections from her to make love, I stopped feeling this way... I look forward to my relaxing sessions these days... even if it is getting costly.

Recently, I met this PRC girl at an MP that I am frequenting regularly... She gives good massage and hj... but after a few times, we started having feelings for each other... I upgraded her to package so that we can spend time together in the room rather than at the massage room... I remember her saying during one of our massage sessions that I was good looking and it was a waste for her that I was married... I said that she was beautiful as well...

Our first time was great... I didn't feel that this was one of my regular fj... After my massage, she asked me if I could ever accept her as what she is... I just got up and kissed her... she kissed back... and she knew my answer... she left and came back with a condom... we did it right there in the massage area... without her boss knowing la... next trip, I upgraded her to full package...

During the times, we made love exactly as what a husband and wife should be doing... more recently, we started doing it raw... I would like to have a baby with her... If we are successful, I will divorce my wife... though I still love her but I think it would be better for her to find another since she has no more spark for me...

Oh well... that's just my story... If you wanna comment or chat with me then go ahead... would love to hear from all you bros and sisters out there...

Cheers!!! :o

the first part in red, is what happens to many marriages in singapore.

the second part in blue, is what some men choose to do to fill the gaps that are missing in their marriages.

the last part, is what stupid men do.

[bobochan]

:D:D

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FZVGhG59l3M

[wanabe_2006]

I face the same problem... Except I m the Wife. My husband blames it on his highly stressed job. Ever since having kids, we hardly have sex! Some might question on my physical appearance. I dun work but I doll up myself like a saucy mum everyday.

So can someone enlighten me on what's his problem??? He comes home straight daily after work, and spends his weekends with the fam...t

I'm on the opposite end of with my wife not interested. I'm married with children, was a virgin until I married my wife ... we were active only when making babies. First few years when it stopped, I tried very hard ... I'd create the ambience, be romantic and not just hope for sex. But aft awhile, simple intimacy like holding hands and cuddling have become awkward ... I no longer expect anything .. staying together is for the children and commitment to our marriage. I'd like to say that she changed while I've been same (I've grown but same guy).

I'd like to help to enlighten, but understand that every relationship is different ... for start I think your husband is probably not physically attracted to you anymore. This is not necessarily due to the physical look but chemistry as well. If you still wanna try, I'd stimulate the relationship by going back to old memories you both hold dear. I tried for many years, many years of disappointment and eventually gave up ... good luck to you.

Secondly having exciting sex experience would keep things alive. Depending on your openness ... you can try things that your partner liked. I don't necessarily mean hardcore stuff, just anything that will turn you on.

If all fail, I come to conclusion that it may not be anyone's fault. As you mentioned, he spends time with family. If intimacy is not important to you ... perhaps you have to accept that no sex is not that he's unhappy. But if you have needs, and he cannot or want to satisfy you ... perhaps you can choose other options. For many years I stayed faithful w/o any sex life, it troubled me ... eventually I sort other options to satisfy my needs. While ocassionally I'm still upset with the deception of my spouse before and after marriage, I choose to accept that she still loves me but just don't want the intimacy. And I want to keep my family hence I sort other options to keep everyone happy.

Sorry for long long story. Short version is ... try but if fail, seek your own happiness.

[Black_Hawk_Up]

Guess it the same for all marriage. Wife normally will turn you into the "bad guy" even if they are the one keep rejecting you. They will say things like is sex all you think about? Is marriage to you all about sex? I am tired why cant you be more understanding?

It a fight man can never win. Even if you turn to FL, you are still the loser if she manage to find out.

[Greenfrog]

sex is not marriage. marriage is not sex. good luck with your future.

For some people, sex is indeed marriage. How can a marriage be happy when it is sexless? Just my humble opinion.;)

[lightweaver]

Hope to share something that helped in my r/s with wife of 7 yrs and fren for past 16 yrs.

I'm only 35 btw. Things happened naturally for us as in date, married, get a house etc. however the only endearing thing was we both hv an understanding that sex is impt and guys hv needs. Even up til now we hv sex like 5-7 times a wk. quickies on wkdays and more romantic sessions on wknites.

So do communicate with ur partner that guys and gals see sex differently. Think of eat as rice. It's staple. For us its a house rule. whoever wants it gets it. Bcos what is the consequence of not hvg this understanding? Frustration, infidelity, drifting apart. Now hvg sex almost daily seems like a great pleasurable proposition.

[supergirl2011]

Hope to share something that helped in my r/s with wife of 7 yrs and fren for past 16 yrs.

I'm only 35 btw. Things happened naturally for us as in date, married, get a house etc. however the only endearing thing was we both hv an understanding that sex is impt and guys hv needs. Even up til now we hv sex like 5-7 times a wk. quickies on wkdays and more romantic sessions on wknites.

So do communicate with ur partner that guys and gals see sex differently. Think of eat as rice. It's staple. For us its a house rule. whoever wants it gets it. Bcos what is the consequence of not hvg this understanding? Frustration, infidelity, drifting apart. Now hvg sex almost daily seems like a great pleasurable proposition.

I agree! :)

[porscheclub]

After all these years, I've come to think that sex is just like sports. The more you do the better you get, it keeps you in shape & you'll also want to keep in shape so that you can spar with your partner. Unfortunately, men are just the poorer sex. Women can cum all day long but we? Most males wish for 3 times in a row....

But most of the times we can also do without for an extended period of time, maybe I'm getting old but you just need to get yourself occupied. There are a lot more meaningful things in life to do than sex.

Also, too much sex with the same partner becomes boring too and that's one reason that we stray so sometimes it's good to abstain from it for a while but build up the lust for your partner so that the next session becomes hot & keep the flirting in place.

[Max77]

They always say men don't listen...very fucking true

-She SAID she's tired and frustration from work, cant sleep well always sleepy

SO

-HELP her sleep well and distress

DONT

-try to talk to her, fuck her, make sense with her

BEFORE

someone else 'steal' half ur heart (and ur fortune)

(Note: 90% of working women/men who come back home very happy mood, most likely got lobang outside)

[PortugueseMan]

I just want to thank everyone here who helped contribute to my issue. Just to update you all, things are great with the wife. Had a long talk with her. Spent a few weeks apart from each other to let her think.

Now back together. Having a very active love life. Expecting our first child soon.

As for the Viet lady. What you guys said is very true. Eventually she started asking for lots and lots of $$$. So I decided to cut her off from my life.

Again thanks a bunch guys. :D:D:D

[Rickey]

I just want to thank everyone here who helped contribute to my issue. Just to update you all, things are great with the wife. Had a long talk with her. Spent a few weeks apart from each other to let her think.

Now back together. Having a very active love life. Expecting our first child soon.


Congrats ! bro...glad tat ur problem wif wifey ended on a happy note wif a child otw :)...best wishes, Keep it up !...

[xuanz]

I just want to thank everyone here who helped contribute to my issue. Just to update you all, things are great with the wife. Had a long talk with her. Spent a few weeks apart from each other to let her think.

Now back together. Having a very active love life. Expecting our first child soon.

As for the Viet lady. What you guys said is very true. Eventually she started asking for lots and lots of $$$. So I decided to cut her off from my life.

Again thanks a bunch guys. :D:D:D

I spent my last hr reading from page 1.

Great to hear this!

[MaMister]

They always say men don't listen...very fucking true

-She SAID she's tired and frustration from work, cant sleep well always sleepy

SO

-HELP her sleep well and distress

DONT

-try to talk to her, fuck her, make sense with her

BEFORE

someone else 'steal' half ur heart (and ur fortune)

(Note: 90% of working women/men who come back home very happy mood, most likely got lobang outside)

Guess it haven't happen to you.

[wantanabee]

it's always good to look at the menus but always eat at home.

[PortugueseMan]

it's always good to look at the menus but always eat at home.

Lol... not sure how that works bro... but true also lah... Cheers!!! :D:D:D

[Greenfrog]

it's always good to look at the menus but always eat at home.

one of the most classic statements ever..:D:rolleyes:

[2wire]

I just want to thank everyone here who helped contribute to my issue. Just to update you all, things are great with the wife. Had a long talk with her. Spent a few weeks apart from each other to let her think.

Now back together. Having a very active love life. Expecting our first child soon.

As for the Viet lady. What you guys said is very true. Eventually she started asking for lots and lots of $$$. So I decided to cut her off from my life.

Again thanks a bunch guys. :D:D:D

Congrats bro! Really glad to see things are looking positively! Enjoy your parenthood~

[bbmapple]

I just want to thank everyone here who helped contribute to my issue. Just to update you all, things are great with the wife. Had a long talk with her. Spent a few weeks apart from each other to let her think.

Now back together. Having a very active love life. Expecting our first child soon.

As for the Viet lady. What you guys said is very true. Eventually she started asking for lots and lots of $$$. So I decided to cut her off from my life.

Again thanks a bunch guys. :D:D:D

Great to know it worked out for u and wife, even little one is coming to join ur family. ;)

But one word of caution, never be complacent. After kid comes, there is usually a period of time which the woman won't be keen in sex. My best friend had depression for months after her 1st son, cos the husband was at work in the daytime when the infant is crying.

All the best to a healthy baby and happy family TS!

[sexymilf]

……………………….

[Gambit7]

TS, I feel you might not understand ur wife enough. Sometimes what she needs is not sex. She prolly needs other things to take care of llike her works etc. While you have been asking every day (at least from what you have been suggesting so far). 2-3 days island resort and u just had sex once. I think it's good enough. You guys prolly need share other stuffs beside sex and what I want and what you want. You guys managed to solve ur problems which is really nice and I am happy for you. But you have to be more understanding on her feelings and what she has been thru. Maybe you help her out in her work or make her happy and feeling more loved by you is a good idea to make ur relationship better first. Anyway, wish u luck and happy always!!