GF keeps on pester me to get marry

[Ngengheng]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

[MountainTurtle]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

In this case, she have her own insecurity and you have your discomfort of the nightmare for the previous marriage but still you don't owe her a living. You are only with her for 6 months but not keeping her as a mistress all along with your previous marriage.

Have a heart to heart with her, give her a direction or a timeline of what you are comfortable with, if she still insisit you should consider a better option because that shows that she is not very understanding and only want things to go in her own way. Would you want a wife that is demanding?

[Ngengheng]

In this case, she have her own insecurity and you have your discomfort of the nightmare for the previous marriage but still you don't owe her a living. You are only with her for 6 months but not keeping her as a mistress all along with your previous marriage.

Have a heart to heart with her, give her a direction or a timeline of what you are comfortable with, if she still insisit you should consider a better option because that shows that she is not very understanding and only want things to go in her own way. Would you want a wife that is demanding?

I dont want a wife to be demanding or else will be digging another coffin again. If she really loves me she got to wait right?

[5ag1_Boar]

She's 35? I don't see the hurry to get married unless she wants to have kids.

Are YOU ready to have kids with her? Just 6 months into a relationship, its very hard to tell if someone is the one you can be with for the rest of your life. You want to go through another divorce? Or get stuck because got kids?

If you are not ready, just say so. Similar to MountainTurtle suggested, set a dateline for the next review. Example, tell her you are not ready and not sure at the moment, then set a date 6 months later that both of you can talk about it again. Make sure she is clear that it is a review of how both of you feel, not a promise to marry.

Anyway, if you are not keen to marry her, my gut feel is that you are not quite sure about her.

[DYBJ]

If she really loves me she got to wait right?
NO!
Women have expiry dates men dun!
Did u take tat into consideration in the 1st place?
If she's 20, ok fuck her man but she's 35, wat do u tink?
Before u KPKB here, spare a tot for the other party!
Many women, when they reach expiry, almost any tom dick & harry come, they mite also marry!
Welcum to life!
U how old liao, this kinda thing oso dunno meh?

[5ag1_Boar]

NO!
Women have expiry dates men dun!
Did u take tat into consideration in the 1st place?
If she's 20, ok fuck her man but she's 35, wat do u tink?
Before u KPKB here, spare a tot for the other party!
Many women, when they reach expiry, almost any tom dick & harry come, they mite also marry!
Welcum to life!
U how old liao, this kinda thing oso dunno meh?

Errr... do you mean that just because SHE has expiry date, he must marry her sooner?

Or, simply let her go and don't let this drag?

[DYBJ]

Errr... do you mean that just because SHE has expiry date, he must marry her sooner?

Or, simply let her go and don't let this drag?
I am asking him to see from her perspective.
Many females still unmarried at that age will kenna pressure from family, friends & colleagues one
So, before complaining, he shud spare a tot for the reasons for her actions n see how to resolve from there

[sammyboyfor]

Dump her and find yourself a girlfriend who's already married to someone else.

[DYBJ]

Dump her and find yourself a girlfriend who's already married to someone else.

wahahaha baskit u damn bad lolzzz

[sammyboyfor]

wahahaha baskit u damn bad lolzzz

I'm just offering a practical solution to the problem. 99% of single women will broach the subject sooner or later and the older they are, the sooner they'll bring it up.

On the other hand, a married women would be quite happy just to have a lover and soulmate.

[DYBJ]

99% of single women will broach the subject sooner or later and the older they are, the sooner they'll bring it up.

Wat puzzles me most is that this bloke was just divorced n at his age doesn't know this fact?
Amazing:eek:

[sane]

I agree with bro DY, a woman biological clock is ticking v fast once she reach 30's especially on childbirth issues.

To TS, let her go if u r not willing to marry her. Men can look for other mei mei to give birth for them but women can't. Don't waste her time. Do u want to tell her both of u r not suitable once she reach 40????????

[DYBJ]

I agree with bro DY, a woman biological clock is ticking v fast once she reach 30's especially on childbirth issues.

To TS, let her go if u r not willing to marry her. Men can look for other mei mei to give birth for them but women can't. Don't waste her time. Do u want to tell her both of u r not suitable once she reach 40????????
Muacks muacks :D

[Apocalypse]

NO!
Women have expiry dates men dun!
Did u take tat into consideration in the 1st place?
If she's 20, ok fuck her man but she's 35, wat do u tink?
Before u KPKB here, spare a tot for the other party!
Many women, when they reach expiry, almost any tom dick & harry come, they mite also marry!
Welcum to life!
U how old liao, this kinda thing oso dunno meh?

30+ is expiry meh? Can repackage and sell at high price mah. :D

[outside]

If you likes her, and want her to be wife, then what are you waiting for.

A wife who waits for you at home, instead of going out to spend monies, waste time driving here and there.., if she is the one that you want to spend the rest of your life lah.

[DYBJ]

30+ is expiry meh? Can repackage and sell at high price mah. :D
Woman n man diff la Apo;)

[Apocalypse]

Woman n man diff la Apo;)

Cannot fetch 15k/mth anymore after 30? :D

Life so unfair. After 25 cannot, even look like under 25 also cannot join miss universe, miss world, miss chinatown, tnp new face etc..... Why ah? Why ah? Life is so unfair. :D

[DYBJ]

Cannot fetch 15k/mth anymore after 30? :D

Life so unfair. After 25 cannot, even look like under 25 also cannot join miss universe, miss world, miss chinatown, tnp new face etc..... Why ah? Why ah? Life is so unfair. :D
U can do face lifting, liposuction but in the end, strip naked, all the truth of age will be revealed!
Cannot fight mother nature one bro;)

[sane]

U can do face lifting, liposuction but in the end, strip naked, all the truth of age will be revealed!
Cannot fight mother nature one bro;)

These r insignificant issues for a woman who's family oriented, the saddest for them should be letting age affecting their fertility.

[Ngengheng]

I am asking him to see from her perspective.
Many females still unmarried at that age will kenna pressure from family, friends & colleagues one
So, before complaining, he shud spare a tot for the reasons for her actions n see how to resolve from there

Difficult to resolve leh...

[peanut123]

I think bro DYBJ is absolutely right. Women get anxious about getting married when they approach 30, and every year after that they get more desperate. A man in his 40's can marry a woman in her 20's, but it is very rare for the reverse to happen.

I'm amazed TS does not understand this esp if he's already been married before. Your gf cannot wait for you for too long. At this age, she's looking for a husband fast as she can, not a fling or a mere bf.

I guess she might give you another 6-12 months, after which she'll cut her losses and move on to another man who is more likely to marry her.

You need to be fair to her, so that she's not wasting her final window of opportunity with you. In another couple of years, she'll probably end up being on the shelf as an old maid, and that is probably her greatest fear.


NO!
Women have expiry dates men dun!
Did u take tat into consideration in the 1st place?
If she's 20, ok fuck her man but she's 35, wat do u tink?
Before u KPKB here, spare a tot for the other party!
Many women, when they reach expiry, almost any tom dick & harry come, they mite also marry!
Welcum to life!
U how old liao, this kinda thing oso dunno meh?

[DYBJ]

Difficult to resolve leh...
See ah bro, sometimes, we as men must understand how a woman tinks in order to handle them.
U were a married man but now i hv my doubts on that part.
U dun seems to understand women.
As darlin dearest Sane mentioned, fertility is very important to a female.
If u tink in that perspective, u will understand her personal stress, not forgetting the external stress she gets from other people.
It's not difficult unless u dun want to face the issue.
If she's just play, then just dump the bitch.
But if ur serious, dun u tink it's only fair for u 2 to hv a real heart to heart talk?
Also u must realise, the ultimate luv a woman can gv a man is to bear him a child.
Science has proven women past a certain fertility age will hv tendencies to produce babies wif down syndrome.
So many factors to consider bro.
As a man, u hv to b responsible for this aspect too!
So if there's true love, then do the right thing n hv a real serious tok wif her.
If there isn't any luv, then just tell her to F off n get another replacement hole :D

[DYBJ]

I think bro DYBJ is absolutely right.
Hi bro, long time no c ur appearance liao n tks for ur support :)

[Apocalypse]

See ah bro, sometimes, we as men must understand how a woman tinks in order to handle them.
U were a married man but now i hv my doubts on that part.
U dun seems to understand women.
As darlin dearest Sane mentioned, fertility is very important to a female.
If u tink in that perspective, u will understand her personal stress, not forgetting the external stress she gets from other people.
It's not difficult unless u dun want to face the issue.
If she's just play, then just dump the bitch.
But if ur serious, dun u tink it's only fair for u 2 to hv a real heart to heart talk?
Also u must realise, the ultimate luv a woman can gv a man is to bear him a child.
Science has proven women past a certain fertility age will hv tendencies to produce babies wif down syndrome.
So many factors to consider bro.
As a man, u hv to b responsible for this aspect too!
So if there's true love, then do the right thing n hv a real serious tok wif her.
If there isn't any luv, then just tell her to F off n get another replacement hole :D

you never tell him very important to let the girl know that he is now penniless and jobless and owe a huge debt before marrying the girl. if not he tio one more divorce petition 2 months after marriage then LPPL liao.

[DYBJ]

you never tell him very important to let the girl know that he is now penniless and jobless and owe a huge debt before marrying the girl. if not he tio one more divorce petition 2 months after marriage then LPPL liao.
Hur hur tis one leave for u to say ma bro Apo :D

[owl888]

TS, may b this gal not right for u since u all only know each other for 6 months. This imho is too short to understand each other. Oso, u wont want to repeat the same mistake in the first marriage so u wanna b careful. Guys can always wait, marry 20+ year young gal oso can, juz b patient the rite one will come your way soon.....cheers!

[Apocalypse]

TS, all the whores(fl, wl, ktv girls etc etc) and any other kind of girls will usually very fast ask you to choose and marry them if you can afford to spend on her. So hor, very important is to tell her you are penniless, and owe some big debt and see her reaction to it. If she say she will contact you again when you solve your problem, then she is 100% not wife material. chances are, she will serve another divorce petition on you within 6 months after marrying you.

my grandfather always tell me when I was young, to find a girl that can follow you when you have no money, and help you out when you have problems with $, you found a gem to cherish for life and deserve you to spend $ on her when you got $. :D

[eurekasster]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

Why you waste the girl time ?
Of course you are selfish.
Do you feel comfort when you have copulation with her ?
Hate this type of guy. Only want sex and don't give commitments.
Just get married and sign the ROM. :mad::mad::mad::mad:

[meowwind]

Paiseh, I am new, so dun mind me.

But a man has to make his woman feel secured.

Age is not an issue, so the main thing is she is not feeling secured.

If you cannot make her feel secured, better dun waste her time.

She dun have time to waste already, now is already ripe wait some more will turn rotten.

[Castrol]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait.

only 6 months and want to marry? is she vietnamese or what? :D

[Azitho]

I'm just offering a practical solution to the problem. 99% of single women will broach the subject sooner or later and the older they are, the sooner they'll bring it up.

On the other hand, a married women would be quite happy just to have a lover and soulmate.

I learnt something today.... thank you Boss! :D

[joscklee]

She not PRC right?

One of my friend more tekong, marry a PRC with child from her previous marriage, now regret also too late. Recently got LTVP+ but chances seem slim to get PR

[Azitho]

I think bro DYBJ is absolutely right. Women get anxious about getting married when they approach 30, and every year after that they get more desperate. A man in his 40's can marry a woman in her 20's, but it is very rare for the reverse to happen.

I'm amazed TS does not understand this esp if he's already been married before. Your gf cannot wait for you for too long. At this age, she's looking for a husband fast as she can, not a fling or a mere bf.

I guess she might give you another 6-12 months, after which she'll cut her losses and move on to another man who is more likely to marry her.

You need to be fair to her, so that she's not wasting her final window of opportunity with you. In another couple of years, she'll probably end up being on the shelf as an old maid, and that is probably her greatest fear.

In the first place why is it she is still single at 30? Usually the good wife material ones are snapped up early so if she is unattached at 30 I would be wary of getting into a relationship with her and I will definitely NOT marry until I find out more about her.

[Azitho]

Why you waste the girl time ?
Of course you are selfish.
Do you feel comfort when you have copulation with her ?
Hate this type of guy. Only want sex and don't give commitments.
Just get married and sign the ROM. :mad::mad:

I disagree...... dun ever ROM in Singapore if possible...... the farking Womens Charter will screw you up. :mad:

I am a living example.

[HCKing]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

TS u must understand that u have been divorced once but she hasnt. so the woman's dream of getting married and live happily ever after applies to her mind. if u are not making any effort to fulfill her dream she will dump u eventually.

[asdfghjkl]

are you my BFF? :eek:

[cocacola2012]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

i don see the need to rush into marriage just because of age, it has to be both sides. my ex-colleague which is abt 40 and his gf may be 2 years younger but have been together for more than 10 years, they have mutually understood that it's not the time yet.
have a good talk with her, and don't ever throw your tantrum, and try to calm her down if she wants to get mad, talk in a way that benefits you 2.

[Stimsia]

TS

she wan marriage
i wan marriage
u dont wan marriage

so the answer is clear:D

joking la
ts defintely selfish
think only for yourself
stand in the girl shoe n think

wat if she wait til she 40 n u say forget it?
if u were her wat would u think n do
true love doesn't come easy
treasure

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Our relationship is about 6 months old only.

I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort.

The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait.....she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure

Everyone is most important to themselves, live by what they feel is best and right for them. Both of you do not share a passionate vision of the future and are on opposite end of the insecurities pole........

For her: Feeling insecure about the relation itself and getting worried about the future. A constant doubt about whether you will remain in the relationship or will leave her

For you: The negative experience of your past failed marriage still haunts you with fear.

Wonder how to do about it.

If both of you cannot appreciate and understood one another's insecurities, emotions and unable to build confidence in this relationsip for leading to an eventual serious commitment...Then it is best to set yourself and her free cos forcing no happiness. :o

Let her go :o

[Greatking]

My gf 29. Vietnamese.
I'm 31. Sillyporean.

She holds double degree in Vietnam and family considered well-to-do(?), majoring in Coffee plantations and moneylending. She's in a Vietnam MNC doing CEO's secretarial work and she's pretty on e definition that I've encountered a few guys wooing her but on e other hand, I'm a pauper who do freelance trading. Secondary school graduate. No house. No Asset. No Cars. Just debts. Hugh debts from entertainment and turnovers.

We knew each other less than a year. Been together for even lesser period.

We are happy together. flying here and there to meet up. She introduce me to her family, relatives and friends.

Till one fine day, she proposed to me. I'm not ready. I'm such a person that I need to clear up my debts and get a career first before committing to marriage because marriage is suppose to be a life-time commitment and a Vow and re-doing it again should be the last option. Furthermore, We have been together for a short time, and taking into consideration that most of the time, we are separated by Malaysia and Cambodia, In reality, we are in for even shorter time.

I told her these:
1. I'm not good looking and I'm plump.
2. I'm a pauper and owes tens of thousands.
3. I have no mean to clear my debts now
4. I'm not sure whether can I provide you for a better living.
5. I'm not a educated person, altro I'm planning to pursue my education now.
6. I don't have house. No driving license. Nothing for her.
7. I'm not holding a stable and good job.
8. I don't even have money to get married.
9. I'm a extremely hot-tempered person.
"Taking these into consideration, I can't marry you now. But I understand that You might hope to get married soon. So... 2 options: Please wait for me to be financially stable and holds cert and a good career first or, you may choose to leave and seek a better man."

Her reply was:
1. Altro I have suitors who are much richer than you, but hey, I'm in love with you.
2. I can't help you clear your debts now. But if the needs arise, I'll sell my lands to tide you over.
3. I may not have means to let your business prosper. But I will help you in whichever way that I can.
4. After marriage, I'll stay in Vietnam and pursue higher education. Because degree in Vietnam is worthless in Singapore. I'll takeup international course in Vietnam so that you won't have to feed two mouths and struggle in Singapore. I'll move over on the second year or my course but pls don't worry, I'll do freelance designing and assist you in trading business.
5. You are not highly educated. But that doesn't matter, that's why I'm taking up more relevant courses and I'm happy that you are making the effort to further your studies.
6. If you are really finding it hard to find a stable job in Singapore and business really fails, maybe you can consider coming over to Vietnam and help my mother manage her businesses. Promise S$30,000 per year at least for you.
7. I can pay for the wedding. Including fetching your parents here to attend our wedding this december.
8. You are hot-tempered. And I think I can manage your temper. So, on that part, don't worry. compensate you on your short-comings.
9. Altro we need to be separated even after marriage, but I understand. During holidays, I can wash your laundry, clean your house and cook for you. At least during these period, I'm doing duly what a wife should provide for her husband.

All these, even if I need to suffer hardship with you in future, I will and can take it because I love you, Honey"

I am touched. Not by feeling but tru all the effort she made to accommodate to my short-comings and situation.

Conclusion is, in love. There's no true rule. No one represent no one. No one will also understand truly what e other party was thinking. Getting into a relationship is a gamble. Just like anything else you do daily. Even choosing which route to travel to avoid traffic jam is also one. But I believe 70% use your guts, 30% look into reality(like future plans). If you loves her, and you think tru the time spent with her, she's the one, why not. You can also choose by looking at tell-tale signs. Don't initiate breakup even before trying. It takes two hands to clap. It takes two hearts to link, so, the best solution is to talk things out. You never know what her answer will be, and might come as a surprise to you.

The above is true encounter. Happy reading and absorbing. :o

[sta1100]

Hi bro

1) How long you know her ?? for 6 month only or way b4 hand you know her ??
2) by this time you should know her by now, how her feeling for you etc etc
3) do you really love her, if so sit down talk to her let her know your plan by doing so you are giving her security, she is worried you might dump her for younger one, at her age now not young she worried that she been left on the display counter. mean what you said to her carry out yr promised. also is she after yr $$ etc etc.
4) do you intend to I've kid with her ?? Do you have kids in yr previous married??
Last : good luck on your new GF and new life ahead

[JuzNiceM]

Is your GF using this tactic??

"What is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations"

thats why she wana you to marry her fast??

[mackewell]

My gf 29. Vietnamese.
I'm 31. Sillyporean.

She holds double degree in Vietnam and family considered well-to-do(?), majoring in Coffee plantations and moneylending. She's in a Vietnam MNC doing CEO's secretarial work and she's pretty on e definition that I've encountered a few guys wooing her but on e other hand, I'm a pauper who do freelance trading. Secondary school graduate. No house. No Asset. No Cars. Just debts. Hugh debts from entertainment and turnovers.

We knew each other less than a year. Been together for even lesser period.

We are happy together. flying here and there to meet up. She introduce me to her family, relatives and friends.

Till one fine day, she proposed to me. I'm not ready. I'm such a person that I need to clear up my debts and get a career first before committing to marriage because marriage is suppose to be a life-time commitment and a Vow and re-doing it again should be the last option. Furthermore, We have been together for a short time, and taking into consideration that most of the time, we are separated by Malaysia and Cambodia, In reality, we are in for even shorter time.

I told her these:
1. I'm not good looking and I'm plump.
2. I'm a pauper and owes tens of thousands.
3. I have no mean to clear my debts now
4. I'm not sure whether can I provide you for a better living.
5. I'm not a educated person, altro I'm planning to pursue my education now.
6. I don't have house. No driving license. Nothing for her.
7. I'm not holding a stable and good job.
8. I don't even have money to get married.
9. I'm a extremely hot-tempered person.
"Taking these into consideration, I can't marry you now. But I understand that You might hope to get married soon. So... 2 options: Please wait for me to be financially stable and holds cert and a good career first or, you may choose to leave and seek a better man."

Her reply was:
1. Altro I have suitors who are much richer than you, but hey, I'm in love with you.
2. I can't help you clear your debts now. But if the needs arise, I'll sell my lands to tide you over.
3. I may not have means to let your business prosper. But I will help you in whichever way that I can.
4. After marriage, I'll stay in Vietnam and pursue higher education. Because degree in Vietnam is worthless in Singapore. I'll takeup international course in Vietnam so that you won't have to feed two mouths and struggle in Singapore. I'll move over on the second year or my course but pls don't worry, I'll do freelance designing and assist you in trading business.
5. You are not highly educated. But that doesn't matter, that's why I'm taking up more relevant courses and I'm happy that you are making the effort to further your studies.
6. If you are really finding it hard to find a stable job in Singapore and business really fails, maybe you can consider coming over to Vietnam and help my mother manage her businesses. Promise S$30,000 per year at least for you.
7. I can pay for the wedding. Including fetching your parents here to attend our wedding this december.
8. You are hot-tempered. And I think I can manage your temper. So, on that part, don't worry. compensate you on your short-comings.
9. Altro we need to be separated even after marriage, but I understand. During holidays, I can wash your laundry, clean your house and cook for you. At least during these period, I'm doing duly what a wife should provide for her husband.

All these, even if I need to suffer hardship with you in future, I will and can take it because I love you, Honey"

I am touched. Not by feeling but tru all the effort she made to accommodate to my short-comings and situation.

Conclusion is, in love. There's no true rule. No one represent no one. No one will also understand truly what e other party was thinking. Getting into a relationship is a gamble. Just like anything else you do daily. Even choosing which route to travel to avoid traffic jam is also one. But I believe 70% use your guts, 30% look into reality(like future plans). If you loves her, and you think tru the time spent with her, she's the one, why not. You can also choose by looking at tell-tale signs. Don't initiate breakup even before trying. It takes two hands to clap. It takes two hearts to link, so, the best solution is to talk things out. You never know what her answer will be, and might come as a surprise to you.

The above is true encounter. Happy reading and absorbing. :o

Wow, very touching there,i envy you sia. This is the so called rare case where the girl really loves you for who are you even though you can be an ass, a poor bloke, a ''nobody'' 'in some ways.

And i really cant believe my eyes on point 7 on her reply. Damn xin fu lor you. In hokkien saying, you kio tio kim(pick up gold) LOL...

Usually a vietnam girl who is so smart and well to do like your wife to be will not settle for a person less intelligent or capable than her lor...

Dont ever give it up because inside your heart you do know that such a woman will never come into your life again... no point breaking up and patch back lah, it hurts the relationship so be rational and calm before making any major decisions....

Good luck man, cheers....

[jj_jj]

Ask yourself what you really want. Have the expectations been set right?
If you are still getting over the divorce and not yet prepared to remarry so soon, at the very least tell her.

It's not just women who have a biological clock ticking away, men who want to have healthy babies also have.

"In one of the largest reviews to date on male fertility, published in the journal Fertility & Sterility in 2001, researchers found that between ages 30 and 50, an average man's Sperm declines by up to 30 percent in volume, swims up to 37 percent slower, and is five times more likely to be malformed. This is significant because it gives an indication to the sperm's genetic content quality. A higher number of distorted Sperm equals a greater potential for genetic abnormalities."

Her feeling insecured is understandable at mid-30s, especially if she wants babies, healthy or otherwise.

If your timelines can't be met, let her go as some bros have said and find another more agreeable to you.

If it soothes your soul more, then let her "initiate" the breakup.

[RegainedMojo]

The above is true encounter. Happy reading and absorbing. :o

Good luck bro, you are a lucky man.

[DYBJ]

Conclusion is, in love. There's no true rule. No one represent no one. No one will also understand truly what e other party was thinking.
Ah King, tink tis is the longest writeup u ever did & may i say, damn fucking good one too.
Yes, when in luv, there r no rules or guides, all one wants to do is make the other happy, selfless sacrifice.
I am very happy for u, though ur not married yet.
I hv encountered this experience before, years ago, in the early 2000s, when my biz was nearly ruined, nearly declared bankrupt, my wives knew, no one freaked, cried or ran away.
Instead, without my knowledge, they went on to sell their bonds, properties, jewellery cars etc....watever they cud convert to cash.
When they put the stacks of cash on the dining table tat nite, i was touched, speechless, yet angry for wat they did.
Touched n speechless bcos i knew then, they r good wives, not the type who married me for $$$$$$$$$, angry was becos ego la, cannot help it.
Anyways, I totally understand where ur coming from, u r lucky, these type dun come along easy, as i hv seen many married folks in a totally opposite world.
Each wanting to get for themselves but non ready to give to the other and never fail to blame each other for anything.
But u know wat's most funny Ah King, when most whom r married hears of this, they'll say, Lan Jiao Weh la.
Just bcos it didnt or cudnt happen to them, it cant happen to others :D
Happy for you Ah King, in all sincerity, all the best n pls pls cherish this gal, regardless where's she's from.
Cheers n hv a good weekend:p

[Apocalypse]

Ah King, tink tis is the longest writeup u ever did & may i say, damn fucking good one too.
Yes, when in luv, there r no rules or guides, all one wants to do is make the other happy, selfless sacrifice.
I am very happy for u, though ur not married yet.
I hv encountered this experience before, years ago, in the early 2000s, when my biz was nearly ruined, nearly declared bankrupt, my wives knew, no one freaked, cried or ran away.
Instead, without my knowledge, they went on to sell their bonds, properties, jewellery cars etc....watever they cud convert to cash.
When they put the stacks of cash on the dining table tat nite, i was touched, speechless, yet angry for wat they did.
Touched n speechless bcos i knew then, they r good wives, not the type who married me for $$$$$$$$$, angry was becos ego la, cannot help it.
Anyways, I totally understand where ur coming from, u r lucky, these type dun come along easy, as i hv seen many married folks in a totally opposite world.
Each wanting to get for themselves but non ready to give to the other and never fail to blame each other for anything.
But u know wat's most funny Ah King, when most whom r married hears of this, they'll say, Lan Jiao Weh la.
Just bcos it didnt or cudnt happen to them, it cant happen to others :D
Happy for you Ah King, in all sincerity, all the best n pls pls cherish this gal, regardless where's she's from.
Cheers n hv a good weekend:p

this the most sensible thing greatking ever said. :D

yup, this girl is a keeper. not those useless woman that only ask you for gifts, thinking she is dam big deal one but run away when she know u got problems.

[DYBJ]

this the most sensible thing greatking ever said. :D

yup, this girl is a keeper. not those useless woman that only ask you for gifts, thinking she is dam big deal one but run away when she know u got problems.

U noe APO, I learnt something in my short 41 coming to 42yrs on this planet.
When u luv someone, u live for tat person.
If u can't feel tat, bet my last buck it ain't luv!
I've experienced it, tasted it, hv 3 staying wif me as living testaments.
Though I still F around outside, I'm always on their back n call n if it means taking a bullet for anyone of them, I wud do it willingly without protest:o

[sane1]

I've experienced it, tasted it, hv 3 staying wif me as living testaments.
Though I still F around outside, I'm always on their back n call n if it means taking a bullet for anyone of them, I wud do it willingly without protest:o

Because they are family n family will always be there for u no matter what :)

[DYBJ]

Because they are family n family will always be there for u no matter what :)
Yes dear u r rite, but the whole logic is tat is does not happen to all though its family.
There r known cases of once there is a storm coming, some in the family will pack n run without hesitation.
I had a friend years back who jumped n died cos of this exact same scenario, god bless his soul.

[see see only]

Wow seem like marriage is a hot topic here ...

1st posted yesterday .... today 4 pages liao :eek:


TS,

BF GF Relationship is one kind of love journey that involves 2 parties ... mutual responsibilities ;)

Marriage is another kind of love journey that involves both parties ... mutual, social and community responsibilities :)

Parenthood is another kind of love journey that involves both parties including the kids ... mutual, social and community responsibilities :)


So after reading all the opinions ... calm yourself down, and level the pros & cons ... make a decision of what you've intended ...

...... if you are not ready to start the 2nd mentioned journey with your GF now, you should let her know your clear intention ....


In your present love journey you oblige to be responsible for her thoughts ...... let her know so that she can then choose to stay on the bus or press the bell to alight ...

[ChokDeeDee!]

She needs to understand that marriage is just about a piece of paper, it does not guarantee a lifetime of happiness. Divorce is just a matter of spending some money on legal papers and most people can afford this. However, the women's charter is on the ladies' side, doesn't matter if its fair or not. Seeing from the ladies' perspective, if you're not ready to get married means you're still hesitating about her suitability. Insecurity thus arises...

[sane1]

Yes dear u r rite, but the whole logic is tat is does not happen to all though its family.
There r known cases of once there is a storm coming, some in the family will pack n run without hesitation.
I had a friend years back who jumped n died cos of this exact same scenario, god bless his soul.

Sorry to hear about your friend. That's y we must really treasure those who is 有情有义 towards us. :)

[sane1]

Seeing from the ladies' perspective, if you're not ready to get married means you're still hesitating about her suitability. Insecurity thus arises...

For older women who's looking for serious r/s, it's like don't waste my time if you are not serious or just want to try it out. There's no more 3yrs, 5yrs pak tor time to waste.

If they are dating, getting married is just a matter of time. Some even expect it to take place within a few months time.

Unless u r dating a single mum with kids, financially doing well with hse, car, then they will not pressure u for anything perhaps for companionship. That's it.

[ChokDeeDee!]

For older women who's looking for serious r/s, it's like don't waste my time if you are not serious or just want to try it out. There's no more 3yrs, 5yrs pak tor time to waste.

If they are dating, getting married is just a matter of time. Some even expect it to take place within a few months time.

Unless u r dating a single mum with kids, financially doing well with hse, car, then they will not pressure u for anything perhaps for companionship. That's it.

I agree with you totally :)

[Stimsia]

For older women who's looking for serious r/s, it's like don't waste my time if you are not serious or just want to try it out. There's no more 3yrs, 5yrs pak tor time to waste.

If they are dating, getting married is just a matter of time. Some even expect it to take place within a few months time.

Unless u r dating a single mum with kids, financially doing well with hse, car, then they will not pressure u for anything perhaps for companionship. That's it.

good advice here
so far cannot find marriage material :o
find liao all got prob..
so one can meet marriage material w/o prob,God bless

[deludedgal]

funny why people keep saying marriage material this and that. like as if they know what is marriage material.. sometimes have to see yrself in the mirro also right. are u even marriage material? Some of the girls jump into marriage even though u are not marriage material because they love you.

I think its even riskier for girls to be married because our value goes down, yes we may get pregnant and fat, and we lose "viginity" and if marriage does not work out and we get divorced. YOu really think guys r on the losing end?

I think girls has to offer more and lose more in anything. so TS dont make it difficult for her. My guess is that before your divorce you may already had her. thats why 6 months only and she is already so kan chiong.. u never mention her age.. maybe she is only 26? i guess even woman tht age is already feeling pressurised.. because sometimes they need to date 2 to 3 years to find out if someone is suitable for them.. and I agree with some of them girls have a lot of pressure coming from friends colleagues and society.

its just that when u r not ready for marriage they think you have a problem or your bf has a problem.. seriously if u have any single friends, dating a not, avoid asking the dumb question of when you getting married. IS it seriously any of yr bloody business? I hope they get it too that marriage is not a full stop to love and relationship. It is just a beginning.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

.. u never mention her age.. maybe she is only 26?

A lot of quarrels in marriage results from miscommunication and misunderstanding. :D

Please read TS 1st post below :D

My gf is 35 years old........

[Apocalypse]

Some of the girls jump into marriage even though u are not marriage material because they love you.

I think its even riskier for girls to be married because our value goes down, yes we may get pregnant and fat, and we lose "viginity" and if marriage does not work out and we get divorced. YOu really think guys r on the losing end?

I think girls has to offer more and lose more in anything. so TS dont make it difficult for her.

well, this is the typical thing that even whores say when they know you can afford their lifestyle. Thats why to know whether the girl really love the guy its best to do the following:

1. let her know you are penniless
2. You are also jobless
3. you have a huge debt

and there is a 97% chance the girl will suddenly feel alot of pain everywhere and cannot meet you. They will also tell you one million reasons why they are worried and why it affect them so much. And eventually they'll just disappear.

The girl that stay with you, and tell you its ok, we don't need luxurious stuff, and empty out her savings for you is the one that you can keep and get married to.

because there will be many whores who see you have money, and everyday try and think of different tactic to kc you, and get money from you. Getting married to you, is one of the tactics.

[DYBJ]

A lot of quarrels in marriage results from miscommunication and misunderstanding. :D

Please read TS 1st post below :D

Tats y her nick is deludedgal la bro

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Bro Apocalypse, a marriage material woman is one who is able to balance her relationship, allowing her man to agree or disagree without fear. A marraige material woman is one who is able to brick a wall with her man, with her man laying the bricks and she making sure every bricks are level and in line instead of constantly fortifying her defensive walls against her man and blaming him for everything ;)

If not, then it's Trouble better run on the double ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbpuflLgmgM&feature=related

[DYBJ]

instead of constantly fortifying her defensive walls against her man and blaming him for everything ;)
Hey, this reminds me freshly of a character i knew from another thread!
To such characters, they're the best, if can't do it, no one can:p

[Apocalypse]

Bro Apocalypse, a marriage material woman is one who is able to balance her relationship, allowing her man to agree or disagree without fear. A marraige material woman is one who is able to brick a wall with her man, with her man laying the bricks and she making sure every bricks are level and in line instead of constantly fortifying her defensive walls against her man and blaming him for everything ;)

If not, then it's Trouble better run on the double ;)



But a lot of man think they kio dio Gold, when suddenly some girl say she hope to be his wife. Only the mentally strong Man can see that there is no foundation being laid at all and run away fast enuff. Only the mentally strong Man can say "good riddance, save me the trouble" when the girl decides to disappear. :D

And you thank God for watching over you, when you found out she did the same routine to someone else before, and is doing the same routine to other sucker now. :D

[Bebeque]

But a lot of man think they kio dio Gold, when suddenly some girl say she hope to be his wife. Only the mentally strong Man can see that there is no foundation being laid at all and run away fast enuff. Only the mentally strong Man can say "good riddance, save me the trouble" when the girl decides to disappear. :D

And you thank God for watching over you, when you found out she did the same routine to someone else before, and is doing the same routine to other sucker now. :D


It is true, man will always do the chasing and chasing, whichever skirt that comes along. The only time when the man can 'get' the girl is when she is willing to open up and accept the chasing. Then the honey pot is open and the man will fall into the venus trap. 99 out of 100 men will not able to resist the girl when such acceptance is given by the girl.

Have seen it happened, even the girl 'running away' is just be a sub plot to give the man some anguish and a taste of losing such honey. When she next returns, the man will inevitably capitulate and agree to marriage. Don't under estimate the wiles and manipulativeness of any girl!!!!

[Apocalypse]

It is true, man will always do the chasing and chasing, whichever skirt that comes along. The only time when the man can 'get' the girl is when she is willing to open up and accept the chasing. Then the honey pot is open and the man will fall into the venus trap. 99 out of 100 men will not able to resist the girl when such acceptance is given by the girl.

Have seen it happened, even the girl 'running away' is just be a sub plot to give the man some anguish and a taste of losing such honey. When she next returns, the man will inevitably capitulate and agree to marriage. Don't under estimate the wiles and manipulativeness of any girl!!!!

yes. that is why its important for guys to be constantly alert, and be constantly evaulating the girl without her knowing.

if she give you honey, appear to take the honey to make her believe you taken the bait. But when its time to harden, don't be soft hearted. :D
In war, give what you can afford to lose, and take what matters to your enemy when you leave. :D

[Arctic Ice]

The theories here are profound but very critical to Manhood. When Art of War fails, apply Art of Love. ;)

[nacal]

I think.. your own survival instincts is warning you that you don't want to marry her.. If you really want to marry her, you will not say that you are not ready.. Rather you will say you need time to prepare this.. save until 10k.. etc etc with concrete plans. i think if you give ur GF a date like 2 yrs later, she'll be willing to wait unless she's so inpatient or other intentions..

Don waste her time anymore, maybe from her own intuition she sense that you're not serious in going in a marriage with her no matter how long she waits. Thats why she's so gan cheong and pester you.

[naturegreen]

Just a piece of advice: Don't rush into things else you will regret. You have already been bitten once. So better not twice. If she keeps pestering you and when you have doubts, all the more you should consider....Why jump from 1 grave into another?

[heartfelt]

dun waste the girl's time if u can't commit

[Stimsia]

what heppen if u divorced twice
pay 2x alimony?

[sean69]

after reading all the post from TS, i still cannot find the most important information.. is the sex good ?? :D .. damn it!! .. being crude again!! :D

TS,

as you mentioned, you just got divorced recently.. at this moment, you are definitely not ready to get married again... i think you will need a couple more years to settle down..

as for her, while true that her biological clock is ticking.. maybe that is why she is in a hurry to get married .. but did you check with her why the hurry despite just knowing each other for 6 months? .. is it really because she wants to have kids and couldn't wait or that her parents is pressurizing her to get married? ..

the need to have kids or external pressure is not a good reason to marry each other.. end of the day, there will be resentment on your side as you will think you are "pushed" into a marriage...

kids? .. there is always IVF or worst case, adoption..

give yourself and her some time to know each other better.. 6 months is really too short ...

so.. most importantly.. does she swallow?? :D ... damn it!!.. being crude again!! :D

[fingersling]

marriage is important to a lady. u sound tell her when u can marry her.

[carpark67]

the biological clock stingy is a strong motivation for women to get married. jus my 2 cents worth.

[Iemanishere]

Bro, she must have found out u must be very very rich

[nicole79e]

marriage is important to a woman

[pussyslime8]

Get married and make babies :o

[qetuip]

It's one of those things with women....

I guess your girlfriend is worried about having children at that age?

Actually my girlfriend is giving me the issue as well, her reason being that her age is catching up and it will be harder to have a kid when she's 35 or older or that the child will be more prone to having problems like down syndrome.

At a crossroad myself.... women....

[Greatking]

marriage is important to a woman

No. Marriage is important to SOME women.

Like Chastity. It only applies to SOME women.

Our social value dropped.

[deludedgal]

A lot of quarrels in marriage results from miscommunication and misunderstanding. :D

Please read TS 1st post below :D

whoops.. then 35 le no wonder lor.. =/ very hard... hopefully the love is deep enough and strong enough to make you two very much in love to marry. Marriage is not always bad i believe.. some couples do live happily.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Morale of the story:

If you wanna date a mid-30s woman, be prepared to get married :D

If you are unable to fulfil a lifelong commitment but simply wanna enjoy the sexual liberty and pleasure that are reserved for married couples, please let her know at her earliest time possible or before she dropped her soaking wet panty that the relationship is without marriage intend. :D

[I.m.Jim]

Morale of the story:

If you wanna date a mid-30s woman, be prepared to get married :D

If you are unable to fulfil a lifelong commitment but simply wanna enjoy the sexual liberty and pleasure that are reserved for married couples, please let her know at her earliest time possible or before she dropped her soaking wet panty that the relationship is without marriage intend. :D

So the perverse moral of the story is to go for SYTs only :D

[sean69]

Morale of the story:

If you wanna date a mid-30s woman, be prepared to get married :D

If you are unable to fulfil a lifelong commitment but simply wanna enjoy the sexual liberty and pleasure that are reserved for married couples, please let her know at her earliest time possible or before she dropped her soaking wet panty that the relationship is without marriage intend. :D

So the perverse moral of the story is to go for SYTs only :D

no no.. moral of the story is to screw her first.. then tell her you are not ready to get married .. :D .. shit.. being a bastard again!! ..

[Ngengheng]

Woman very funny..played hard and chossy when in 20s...When comes to 30s panicked and regret...

[sean69]

no no.. moral of the story is to screw her first.. then tell her you are not ready to get married .. :D .. shit.. being a bastard again!! ..

problem is... most women gets into a relationship thinking that they are able to change behaviour or thinking of men... so, even if you tell them the truth, they will just file it into one corner, continue to try to change you until they go pyscho .. :D

shit.. i just quoted myself... must be a damn boring day!! :D

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

So the perverse moral of the story is to go for SYTs only :D

If SYT, it's reverse role play liao. The men will keep pestering and planning on getting married or fast hand fast leg put "deposit" :D

[kim-seng-heng]

I have known some rich family even pay for the man to marry their daughters. My aunty bought a condo for the guy who marries her daughter. Woman from rich family will have a better edge if they are still single.

[I.m.Jim]

no no.. moral of the story is to screw her first.. then tell her you are not ready to get married .

problem is... most women gets into a relationship thinking that they are able to change behaviour or thinking of men... so, even if you tell them the truth, they will just file it into one corner, continue to try to change you until they go pyscho ..

Let me summarize what you mean. Love is mighty! BUT sex is mightier right? :D

If SYT, it's reverse role play liao. The men will keep pestering and planning on getting married or fast hand fast leg put "deposit"


Put deposit into the womb? :D:p;)

[Rickey]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.
Empathise wif Bro Ngengheng n his gf...So sorry to learn of bro's divorce recently...Pity his gf as it is natural for a gal her age to be desperate to get hook or married cos societal views n esp the biological clock is actually working against them when the gals are in their 30s n above :(. It is quite medically known tat women abv 35 are more at risk during pregnancy n childbirth than women of younger age...thus for women of tis age range, 'amniocentesis' is quite often recommended by gynaecologists for pregnant women to check if their foetus is doing well in the womb for fear of producing babies wif down syndrome etc :eek:...yes, bro..she may be quite right u know..she got no time to wait further..so dun keep her waiting if u can..

But if both of you really love each other n are very sure abt each other, why not jus go ahead n tie the knot...time n tide waits for no man...we hv often heard of tis familiar proverb, i m sure...yes, its real..every minute of our lives is precious.. most of us r oblivious to tis fact...we seem to tink tat there's still a lot of time ahead of us in tis world to do wat we wanna do but in actual fact we really dun...our lives are short, if we really come to tink of it...we can kick the bucket any time if God so desires...decisions in life shd be made fast n furious if possible, for it can be quite costly to procrastinate..in any aspect of life, we are always ahead of our friends if we get our things done even if its jus by 1 minute early..

But on the other hand, Bro Nhengheng is oso right.. to marry her, he must make sure tat he truly loves his g/f n vice versa o/w another divorce may be on the cards for him n cannot be ruled out...as 6 mths is a very short period of time to get to know another person well esp for life-long companionship...If tis happens down the road, it may even be more catastrophic for him...so for him it may well be choosing between the devil n the deep blue sea..lol...its a difficult balancing act for him, i shd say

But sadly, history always repeats itself :(.. most of us enter into marriage based on love feelings n the romance tat fills the air at tat point in time..tat it tends to blind us in at least 1 eye if not both to the rocky path n potential booby traps tat lay ahead of every couple which need to be navigated carefully tgt to avoid a horrific crash sometime later in the union...tat explains why the divorce rate is high in many societies including ours n prolly will always be...originating frm the bitter feelings of hurt, betrayal, unfaithfulness n disagreements...its sad, but tats life..the sooner we realise it n take the necessary precautions, the beta for us...jus my 3 cents worth of tots...

Hope everything works out well for u n ur g/f...You hv my Best wishes ..:)

[eurekasster]

Get married and faster make babies.
Singapore need a lot of babies. :)

[topcook1]

Get married and faster make babies.
Singapore need a lot of babies. :)

Dont worry..FTS will make more babies here.

[Azitho]

Dont worry..FTS will make more babies here.

But they will then bring them back home when time to do NS! :mad:

[Azitho]

Woman very funny..played hard and chossy when in 20s...When comes to 30s panicked and regret...

I remember when I was in my early 20s and just ORD and new job. The young women in my company on seeing me being single came up with this suggestion..... ROM to get HDB flat and then sell after 5 years and split the profit (at that time HDB flat price sure rise high high)... and then divorce to live back our single life..... we are still young in our 20s after the divorce and have money now. :D

[maxsee]

Good thing u neber do tat woh...wat if after splitting profit for the HDB flat...they decided that it is not enough...and wanted to use the woman charter to claim more money from u....:D:D:D

[wishy51]

Bro,
Life is never perfect & hope you could treasure what you have now. Although she pressurized you, it'll be good if both of you could sit down & talk it over. I'm not married so maybe not in a position to say much but I had seen live cases before & both parties might sunk deeper into hatred. Nevertheless, make the best decision in which you think & good luck to your happiness!~

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

But they will then bring them back home when time to do NS! :mad:

An oath of citizenship is designed to be a statement of loyalty and patriotism to the new country. There is no citizenship without loyalty

Given the case, we ought to revoke their citizenship including the foreign spouse :(
IMHO if the Hubby is a local, I think the kids will serve NS from father to son. ;)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I remember when I was in my early 20s and just ORD and new job. The young women in my company on seeing me being single came up with this suggestion..... ROM to get HDB flat and then sell after 5 years and split the profit (at that time HDB flat price sure rise high high)... and then divorce to live back our single life..... we are still young in our 20s after the divorce and have money now. :D
Really ah, so u must be very enterprising hor
Just like ur nick
13posts 51 points liao
Seepeh li hai leh:D
Maybe we shud do some biz together then i can get out from my bankrupt n a half status
Wat say u cloney clone?

[esssinine]

Set a date lor, women likes dates. Just keep postponing when the date draws near. :D

[KonKam]

My gf 29. Vietnamese.
I'm 31. Sillyporean.

She holds double degree in Vietnam and family considered well-to-do(?), majoring in Coffee plantations and moneylending. She's in a Vietnam MNC doing CEO's secretarial work and she's pretty on e definition that I've encountered a few guys wooing her but on e other hand, I'm a pauper who do freelance trading. Secondary school graduate. No house. No Asset. No Cars. Just debts. Hugh debts from entertainment and turnovers.

We knew each other less than a year. Been together for even lesser period.

We are happy together. flying here and there to meet up. She introduce me to her family, relatives and friends.

Till one fine day, she proposed to me. I'm not ready. I'm such a person that I need to clear up my debts and get a career first before committing to marriage because marriage is suppose to be a life-time commitment and a Vow and re-doing it again should be the last option. Furthermore, We have been together for a short time, and taking into consideration that most of the time, we are separated by Malaysia and Cambodia, In reality, we are in for even shorter time.

I told her these:
1. I'm not good looking and I'm plump.
2. I'm a pauper and owes tens of thousands.
3. I have no mean to clear my debts now
4. I'm not sure whether can I provide you for a better living.
5. I'm not a educated person, altro I'm planning to pursue my education now.
6. I don't have house. No driving license. Nothing for her.
7. I'm not holding a stable and good job.
8. I don't even have money to get married.
9. I'm a extremely hot-tempered person.
"Taking these into consideration, I can't marry you now. But I understand that You might hope to get married soon. So... 2 options: Please wait for me to be financially stable and holds cert and a good career first or, you may choose to leave and seek a better man."

Her reply was:
1. Altro I have suitors who are much richer than you, but hey, I'm in love with you.
2. I can't help you clear your debts now. But if the needs arise, I'll sell my lands to tide you over.
3. I may not have means to let your business prosper. But I will help you in whichever way that I can.
4. After marriage, I'll stay in Vietnam and pursue higher education. Because degree in Vietnam is worthless in Singapore. I'll takeup international course in Vietnam so that you won't have to feed two mouths and struggle in Singapore. I'll move over on the second year or my course but pls don't worry, I'll do freelance designing and assist you in trading business.
5. You are not highly educated. But that doesn't matter, that's why I'm taking up more relevant courses and I'm happy that you are making the effort to further your studies.
6. If you are really finding it hard to find a stable job in Singapore and business really fails, maybe you can consider coming over to Vietnam and help my mother manage her businesses. Promise S$30,000 per year at least for you.
7. I can pay for the wedding. Including fetching your parents here to attend our wedding this december.
8. You are hot-tempered. And I think I can manage your temper. So, on that part, don't worry. compensate you on your short-comings.
9. Altro we need to be separated even after marriage, but I understand. During holidays, I can wash your laundry, clean your house and cook for you. At least during these period, I'm doing duly what a wife should provide for her husband.

All these, even if I need to suffer hardship with you in future, I will and can take it because I love you, Honey"

I am touched. Not by feeling but tru all the effort she made to accommodate to my short-comings and situation.

Conclusion is, in love. There's no true rule. No one represent no one. No one will also understand truly what e other party was thinking. Getting into a relationship is a gamble. Just like anything else you do daily. Even choosing which route to travel to avoid traffic jam is also one. But I believe 70% use your guts, 30% look into reality(like future plans). If you loves her, and you think tru the time spent with her, she's the one, why not. You can also choose by looking at tell-tale signs. Don't initiate breakup even before trying. It takes two hands to clap. It takes two hearts to link, so, the best solution is to talk things out. You never know what her answer will be, and might come as a surprise to you.

The above is true encounter. Happy reading and absorbing. :o



Your encounter is overhelming in my opinion.
Like you,
i also divorce, mum stroke, dad leaking valve problem, sister lupus and also "pokai" due to medical cost.
Given up on looking for soulmate.
Really wish you "everlasting" relationship as this type of girls is not easy to find.

[hereicomeagain]

I dont want a wife to be demanding or else will be digging another coffin again. If she really loves me she got to wait right?

Very true, but woman of her age tends to get insecurity easily, try to assure her bout your worries and talk bout hers too. try settle a duration to iron both worries out.

[Azitho]

An oath of citizenship is designed to be a statement of loyalty and patriotism to the new country. There is no citizenship without loyalty

Given the case, we ought to revoke their citizenship including the foreign spouse :(
IMHO if the Hubby is a local, I think the kids will serve NS from father to son. ;)

No need to revoke. They will renounce their citizenships when the time comes for their child to register for NS and return home with all the spoils they have been given by our stupid and generous gahmen. Many have become millionaires back in their homeland just from the HDB flat profit alone. :mad:

[K9696]

My gf is 35 years old keeps on pester me to get marry. She had proposed to me about 3 times and yet I always tell her I am not ready as I had just divorced recently...Our relationship is about 6 months old only. The reason she gave to me is that she has no time to wait. I keep on tell her to wait until I am comfort but she said I am too selfish . She felt so insecure and resulted in too many quarrels. Wonder how to do about it.

Wow.. i guess she is in a stage of desperation, she must be thinking,
I can't miss this boat if not she will be left on the shelf....:D:p

[Bodyache]

Stand up.... Saaaalute!

Just based on what you had said.....will charge up the hill aka chiong suah for you!

Well said! SAALLLLUTE!

But honestly to TS.... marry only when you r ready....marrying is not the unity of 2 person it is also the union of 2 minds.

If not just prepare for divorce numero 2.

Just my 1.75cents worth

[nacal]

My gf 29. Vietnamese.
I'm 31. Sillyporean.

She holds double degree in Vietnam and family considered well-to-do(?), majoring in Coffee plantations and moneylending. She's in a Vietnam MNC doing CEO's secretarial work and she's pretty on e definition that I've encountered a few guys wooing her but on e other hand, I'm a pauper who do freelance trading. Secondary school graduate. No house. No Asset. No Cars. Just debts. Hugh debts from entertainment and turnovers.

We knew each other less than a year. Been together for even lesser period.

We are happy together. flying here and there to meet up. She introduce me to her family, relatives and friends.

Till one fine day, she proposed to me. I'm not ready. I'm such a person that I need to clear up my debts and get a career first before committing to marriage because marriage is suppose to be a life-time commitment and a Vow and re-doing it again should be the last option. Furthermore, We have been together for a short time, and taking into consideration that most of the time, we are separated by Malaysia and Cambodia, In reality, we are in for even shorter time.

I told her these:
1. I'm not good looking and I'm plump.
2. I'm a pauper and owes tens of thousands.
3. I have no mean to clear my debts now
4. I'm not sure whether can I provide you for a better living.
5. I'm not a educated person, altro I'm planning to pursue my education now.
6. I don't have house. No driving license. Nothing for her.
7. I'm not holding a stable and good job.
8. I don't even have money to get married.
9. I'm a extremely hot-tempered person.
"Taking these into consideration, I can't marry you now. But I understand that You might hope to get married soon. So... 2 options: Please wait for me to be financially stable and holds cert and a good career first or, you may choose to leave and seek a better man."

Her reply was:
1. Altro I have suitors who are much richer than you, but hey, I'm in love with you.
2. I can't help you clear your debts now. But if the needs arise, I'll sell my lands to tide you over.
3. I may not have means to let your business prosper. But I will help you in whichever way that I can.
4. After marriage, I'll stay in Vietnam and pursue higher education. Because degree in Vietnam is worthless in Singapore. I'll takeup international course in Vietnam so that you won't have to feed two mouths and struggle in Singapore. I'll move over on the second year or my course but pls don't worry, I'll do freelance designing and assist you in trading business.
5. You are not highly educated. But that doesn't matter, that's why I'm taking up more relevant courses and I'm happy that you are making the effort to further your studies.
6. If you are really finding it hard to find a stable job in Singapore and business really fails, maybe you can consider coming over to Vietnam and help my mother manage her businesses. Promise S$30,000 per year at least for you.
7. I can pay for the wedding. Including fetching your parents here to attend our wedding this december.
8. You are hot-tempered. And I think I can manage your temper. So, on that part, don't worry. compensate you on your short-comings.
9. Altro we need to be separated even after marriage, but I understand. During holidays, I can wash your laundry, clean your house and cook for you. At least during these period, I'm doing duly what a wife should provide for her husband.

All these, even if I need to suffer hardship with you in future, I will and can take it because I love you, Honey"

I am touched. Not by feeling but tru all the effort she made to accommodate to my short-comings and situation.

Conclusion is, in love. There's no true rule. No one represent no one. No one will also understand truly what e other party was thinking. Getting into a relationship is a gamble. Just like anything else you do daily. Even choosing which route to travel to avoid traffic jam is also one. But I believe 70% use your guts, 30% look into reality(like future plans). If you loves her, and you think tru the time spent with her, she's the one, why not. You can also choose by looking at tell-tale signs. Don't initiate breakup even before trying. It takes two hands to clap. It takes two hearts to link, so, the best solution is to talk things out. You never know what her answer will be, and might come as a surprise to you.

The above is true encounter. Happy reading and absorbing. :o

wow, if the above is true you must be damn lucky. I'm sure there're ppl like that but they're rare. You must be her benefactor in previous lives!