Girlfriend vs. Other Girl (decent one)

[savacheone]

Hi bros and sisters,

I have a rather happy headache that is, unfortunately, causing some grief and confusion. I’m currently attached with a GF, who is a couple of years younger than me, and is actually my colleague in another department. We are very loving and she has a really nice personality which helps us get along very well. We have done intimate things before, but no full-blown sex. I guess we both want to save it till after marriage.

However, I recently found that because of my high sex drive, I’ve been trying to find one night stand (ONS) either through SBF, at clubs or on online social sites. I’ve never been much of a pick-up artist and seldom go clubbing (like less than 5 times a year), which explains why I have no luck getting ONS in the clubbing session I went for recently with some bros.

The problem arises because I got to know this girl online. Let’s call her Dolly. So Dolly is also young, intelligent and attractive, and she agreed to meet up with me after we interacted online. The dinner with her was fantastic- conversations, healthy teasing, and even abit of playful touching of shoulders etc. (not prolonged touching, just friendly pat on the back sort). We are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Problem is, I realize Dolly is looking for true love, while I’m out to play the field for variety. I’m not looking to have another relationship, as I love my GF and don’t want to hurt her. I just want an ONS (without full blown sex) for variety. If I carry on with Dolly, I think I can have an intimate side relationship with her, but that would require investing time, effort and the scary part- EMOTIONS.

Should I stop dating Dolly and look for ONS somewhere else (I don’t wanna go for FL)? Or continue dating Dolly and have intimate fun with her and hide it from my GF? Or are there other options?

I’m beginning to feel like a guilty jerk, but can’t extricate myself from Dolly’s charms…. Any advice is appreciated from wise fellow SBFers - Can PM me or post here! Thanks for reading my rambling.

[janejane]

All i can say is "you mess with the bull, you'll get the HORNS" :D
Everything comes with a price~

[farastein]

Whats stopping you from ditching yr GF?

Hi bros and sisters,

I have a rather happy headache that is, unfortunately, causing some grief and confusion. I’m currently attached with a GF, who is a couple of years younger than me, and is actually my colleague in another department. We are very loving and she has a really nice personality which helps us get along very well. We have done intimate things before, but no full-blown sex. I guess we both want to save it till after marriage.

However, I recently found that because of my high sex drive, I’ve been trying to find one night stand (ONS) either through SBF, at clubs or on online social sites. I’ve never been much of a pick-up artist and seldom go clubbing (like less than 5 times a year), which explains why I have no luck getting ONS in the clubbing session I went for recently with some bros.

The problem arises because I got to know this girl online. Let’s call her Dolly. So Dolly is also young, intelligent and attractive, and she agreed to meet up with me after we interacted online. The dinner with her was fantastic- conversations, healthy teasing, and even abit of playful touching of shoulders etc. (not prolonged touching, just friendly pat on the back sort). We are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Problem is, I realize Dolly is looking for true love, while I’m out to play the field for variety. I’m not looking to have another relationship, as I love my GF and don’t want to hurt her. I just want an ONS (without full blown sex) for variety. If I carry on with Dolly, I think I can have an intimate side relationship with her, but that would require investing time, effort and the scary part- EMOTIONS.

Should I stop dating Dolly and look for ONS somewhere else (I don’t wanna go for FL)? Or continue dating Dolly and have intimate fun with her and hide it from my GF? Or are there other options?

I’m beginning to feel like a guilty jerk, but can’t extricate myself from Dolly’s charms…. Any advice is appreciated from wise fellow SBFers - Can PM me or post here! Thanks for reading my rambling.

[sane]

Do u really think that u can have the best of both world n play with fire without getting burnt?

Continue playing n u will ended up having none.

[konnor]

Well said sane. A few questions for yourself to answer:
1) Do you see your current gf as your future wife?
- If yes, you should stop seeing Dolly. It's just infatuation right now. If you have a r/s with her, who knows how long it'll last?

2) Are you willing to cheat on both girls?
- By dating Dolly, you are cheating on your current gf. Also, you'll be cheating on Dolly cos she thinks that you're looking for the "True Love" as well.

My suggestion: Tell Dolly straight up what you're looking for. If she unwilling, then stop seeing her. Be a bastard if you need to. But if she's into ONS, who knows? (:

[milford]

As long as you are not married, you can still make friend with Dolly first.

[sane]

Thanks pal :)

What I can only say TS is not ready to settle down, let alone signing on the life sentence. Nvr chiong enough, Dont commit.

Its as good as finding a wife to put at home, while looking for fresh blood outside.

Women r v sensitive n things can turn v ugly if she ever find out that u r cheating on her, let alone both r colleagues n still gotta see other if things doesn't work out. Hopefully ur selfishness won't make a jerk out of u n hurt both geninue nice gals.

Be responsible for own actions.

[savacheone]

Hi bros,

Thank you all for your insightful comments, I'll see how I can break the news to Dolly gently without breaking her heart. It's only two dates, so the emotional bond can't be that strong. This means that whatever hurt she may feel will be minimised as well. Hopefully that works out.

So, if Dolly's willing to carry on with an 'open relationship' (i.e. we both can continue dating other people, like my current GF), then I suppose it's fine? Also, if Dolly is willing to be FB (which I doubt so), then it's fine as well? And can I still ONS other girls who are willing without telling my GF? I know this 'eating forbidden fruit' by the side (even if it's not full-blown sex), is still betrayal...

I don't know if I'm ready to be tied down by my current GF. It's just that cos' of her conservative upbringing, its rare that we even do intimate stuff in hotel (remember, its never full-blown sex). But I suppose my nether regions need more frequent stimulation than she is willing or comfortable to give at this stage...

Sigh... really hard being a guy.:(

[arsenal_84]

There's no such thing as best of both worlds.

[gent]

I know a guy friend who r in the same situation. He actually planning to marry his gf. But along the way, got to know this new gal colleague and confess to her! The gal knows he got gf and also likes him. Both dating secretly. He told his gal colleague that he is breaking with his gf.

I don't support his action because I feel that his gf will be damn hurt. They r planning to get married and this happened. And I would say that his gf is a decent type.

Now he is trying to break off with his gf of 2-3 years for a gal whom he knows for 6 month. I hope he don't regret.


My 2 cents.

[hansolo7677]

You can't have the cake and eat it too....

But you can choose to be upfront with Dolly... just let her know you are out here to play only. If she chooses to continue with you, good for both parties.

[rubberduckygirl]

be truthful to dolly. if she is okay with the arrangement (i.e. you being attached and have no intentions of breaking up with ur gf for dolly) then all the better.

you may never know how things will turn out when its two woman and one man involved.

i know you as a guy i know you have your needs. you have to know your limits.

but as a gf's pov, its hurtful to know that your boy's making out with another girl behind my back. not many girls are able to accept. judging that your girl is from a conservative/traditional family background.

[Botakhead]

If you're serious with your GF, never date Dolly, don't 'tau jiak' behind your GF's back. Worst case scenario is that you may end up with nothing, GF finds out and hurt and ditches you, Dolly finds that you're not reliable in your truthfullness......also may leave you for better future.
ZILCH. All pain and no gain, is it worth all this trouble just because your sex drive is high?:confused:

[etct88]

What's stopping TS from being ditched by his GF?:rolleyes:


Whats stopping you from ditching yr GF?

[asdfghjkl]

maybe your busty Dolly is a spy sent by your GF? :eek:

[savacheone]

Hi all,

I'm not married, so technically, I can still choose between current GF and online girl ("Dolly").

But, yeah, I really hate to hurt my GF by breaking with her, and I don't want to break with her because of the feelings we share. However, we don't have an active sex life, and everytime I try to initiate something, she seems really reluctant... I don't ever force her to do things she doesn't want to do.

Conversely, I also feel that Dolly and I will have a really exciting relationship, because we both have almost insatiable sex drives and click really well. She's willing to give up to base 3 in a relationship (base 4 is full blown sex), and knows how to flaunt her sexuality... not that busty, but damn hot... I had the misconception that she was a sweet innocent girl... heh.

I had my second date with Dolly ystd, and it was mindblowing... conversations and erm... kisses. We kissed passionately and eventually ended with CIM BBBJ in my car. While all this is incredibly enjoyable (she initiated it), it leaves me more confused than ever over my decision.

Yes, I know the ladies here will probably zap me, but pls don't ok? It just went so fast ystd night.... The fact that I'm posting shows I'm genuinely confused and hope to get some help...:confused:

I know the best way is the declare that I'm attached and ask her if she's willing to just be FBs (I'm contented with Base 3). She's going overseas for 2 weeks soon, so that gives me some time to calm down and organise my thoughts...

[JollyOne]

TS why can't you stay true to your gf ? :eek: :confused:

[sane]

TS why can't you stay true to your gf ? :eek: :confused:

I read somewhere

妻不如妾, 妾不如技，技不如偷，偷不如偷𣎴到。

It's the thrill to do the chasing as they could be never be satisfied with only one.

[PRCsR4Fucking]

Choose based on her +ve attributes and how she can help you as your woman. Don't choose just because she is sexy and good in bed! This type, confirm PRC material

[milford]

if I were you, i will break out with the first girl and go steady with Dolly. It seems you are thinking of her everyday and very passionate about her. It will be very tough and difficult to control feelings. If you really like her so much, you should go for it. Enjoy the fire and passion while its still hot.

[jasdude]

Battle of LUST vs LOVE. TS u are distracted and blinded over this issue. The grass will always look greener over the other side but losing what is in hand for two birds in the bush will be the thing u regret later. Think hard over the principles that govern you in the first place.

[janejane]

TS is lost of what he wants a gf or a fb cum friend , i can tell you now one day Ts will be the one getting ditch by dolly:eek:, as girls like her is a player~ there is always a better "dick" out there, so i hope u don't start complaining it over here.
End of the day you already have written the answer who you really want in your last post, why bother asking everyone for help:confused:

[SammyHulk]

Well imo, it's a case of mistaken identity of LOVE for LUST.:cool:

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[DrPussy]

one day Ts will be the one getting ditch by dolly:eek:, as girls like her is a player~ there is always a better "dick" out there, so i hope u don't start complaining it over here.


agree, ts deserve to be that result :D looks like he should get some lesson here :D

[pmlee]

Bro do you think a woman who gives BBBJ/CIM on your 2nd date is wife material? ...

None of us can judge accurately cos we aren't actually there to see things unfold. You'll have to make the call yourself. Look before you leap. Good luck bro.

A good fb material indeed, TS very confused abt the gf and fb, why just keep her as FB only and jusy have both?

[unsung80]

Hi bros and sisters,

I have a rather happy headache that is, unfortunately, causing some grief and confusion. I’m currently attached with a GF, who is a couple of years younger than me, and is actually my colleague in another department. We are very loving and she has a really nice personality which helps us get along very well. We have done intimate things before, but no full-blown sex. I guess we both want to save it till after marriage.

However, I recently found that because of my high sex drive, I’ve been trying to find one night stand (ONS) either through SBF, at clubs or on online social sites. I’ve never been much of a pick-up artist and seldom go clubbing (like less than 5 times a year), which explains why I have no luck getting ONS in the clubbing session I went for recently with some bros.

The problem arises because I got to know this girl online. Let’s call her Dolly. So Dolly is also young, intelligent and attractive, and she agreed to meet up with me after we interacted online. The dinner with her was fantastic- conversations, healthy teasing, and even abit of playful touching of shoulders etc. (not prolonged touching, just friendly pat on the back sort). We are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Problem is, I realize Dolly is looking for true love, while I’m out to play the field for variety. I’m not looking to have another relationship, as I love my GF and don’t want to hurt her. I just want an ONS (without full blown sex) for variety. If I carry on with Dolly, I think I can have an intimate side relationship with her, but that would require investing time, effort and the scary part- EMOTIONS.

Should I stop dating Dolly and look for ONS somewhere else (I don’t wanna go for FL)? Or continue dating Dolly and have intimate fun with her and hide it from my GF? Or are there other options?

I’m beginning to feel like a guilty jerk, but can’t extricate myself from Dolly’s charms…. Any advice is appreciated from wise fellow SBFers - Can PM me or post here! Thanks for reading my rambling.

You are putting words into your own mouth, i personally assume you love your so call beloved sweet GF. Maybe potentially become your future wife. Yet at the same time betray her trust by hunting for other woman for you to have sex. From a man's point of view, suppose you are single, you want to fuck as much women as you want go ahead. If you hunted 10 and manage to up 5, write a FR and i give you my applause.

IF you are attached and want to eat outside, make sure after eating you wipe your dirty mouth. Not to leave any guilt and evident behind. Yes, i feel like you are a jerk. If i have such a good gf, i would treat her very well if possibly can, instead of wasting time to search for someone to fuck your brain juice out.

Sorry i sounds a bit harsh, but i suggest don't hurt anyone feeling during the process.

[milford]

If your heart can be stolen in the first place from your first gf to Dolly means you dont love the first gf that much. Even if Dolly does not end up as your wife, you can still look for new gals.

[bomberjac]

I know a guy friend who r in the same situation. He actually planning to marry his gf. But along the way, got to know this new gal colleague and confess to her! The gal knows he got gf and also likes him. Both dating secretly. He told his gal colleague that he is breaking with his gf.

I don't support his action because I feel that his gf will be damn hurt. They r planning to get married and this happened. And I would say that his gf is a decent type.

Now he is trying to break off with his gf of 2-3 years for a gal whom he knows for 6 month. I hope he don't regret.


My 2 cents.

Gent, since ur frd's gfrd is the decent type, y not u go for it? Potong jalan the bugger...

Just my 2 cents...

[gent]

Gent, since ur frd's gfrd is the decent type, y not u go for it? Potong jalan the bugger...

Just my 2 cents...

What I know is she is badly hurt by him. She actually initiated a break up with my friend...

But I won't go for her cos she is v down already, dont want make it worst... She deserve a better man who love her whole-heartedly...

[sane]

What I know is she is badly hurt by him. She actually initiated a break up with my friend...

But I won't go for her cos she is v down already, dont want make it worst... She deserve a better man who love her whole-heartedly...

Thumbs up.. Wat a gentleman

[gent]

Thumbs up.. Wat a gentleman

Thanks! Not really gentlemen lah.

I just feel for this gal. In fact, I think breaking up with my friend is good for her. She can move on and find a better guy who is more committed.

I asked my friend why he decided to go to the new gal. He told me she is chio and he can talk anything under the sun with her, so they r more 'click'. He keep promising the new gal that he will break up, so no choice, got to hurt his current gf...

I say good luck to this new gal...

[Hurricane88]

TS, your problem is self inflicted...good problem to have...anyway be careful here...hurting anyone will result in karma...so be responsible...:)

[SeekGoodFL]

U make sure U sex them many times, so as to get back Ur investmetn hor

[deludedgal]

I know a guy friend who r in the same situation. He actually planning to marry his gf. But along the way, got to know this new gal colleague and confess to her! The gal knows he got gf and also likes him. Both dating secretly. He told his gal colleague that he is breaking with his gf.

I don't support his action because I feel that his gf will be damn hurt. They r planning to get married and this happened. And I would say that his gf is a decent type.

Now he is trying to break off with his gf of 2-3 years for a gal whom he knows for 6 month. I hope he don't regret.


My 2 cents.

infatuation only later die off same old story =/

[deludedgal]

Thanks! Not really gentlemen lah.

I just feel for this gal. In fact, I think breaking up with my friend is good for her. She can move on and find a better guy who is more committed.

I asked my friend why he decided to go to the new gal. He told me she is chio and he can talk anything under the sun with her, so they r more 'click'. He keep promising the new gal that he will break up, so no choice, got to hurt his current gf...

I say good luck to this new gal...

i think the new ger very soon will become the old ger too

[Redeemer81]

eventually u'll need to choose