Met someone online but I'm married

[LeGarcon]

Hi guys,

Something happened recently and my head is going to explode from all the things going on. I registered an account here to seek opinions from our brothers and sisters who might have been in the same situation. Anywhere else, I'm afraid I'll just be labeled a bastard and case closed.

I am married with a child. My child is still very young. We got married primarily because she got pregnant and because I love children. My wife and I had been together for more than 3 years when she got pregnant. So we just had a simple wedding and soon my bundle of joy is born.

My relationship with my wife was very good in the beginning (when we got together). She was understanding, smart and funny. We got along well but after about 2 years she showed a different side of her. She became demanding, spoilt and unreasonable at times. I thought I had given in to her too much and over pampered her. Apparently this was what happened to her ex too. Eventually he couldn't take her temper and demands and disappeared, along with some money borrowed from her to settle some stock problems.

I am known to be a very patient person. I decided to reason things out before I do anything drastic. In the end, her ways prevailed and we had a big quarrel. I didn't speak to her for a week and was comtemplating to have a bit of time off each other. She called me one afternoon and told me she was pregnant. Initially I was shocked. Definitely. But I decided it must be fate and began planning for the wedding with her and began to do all the things parents do to welcome their child.

During her pregnancy she wasn't that much more demanding than her usual self. I usually give in cos she always threatened me with the fact that she was the one carrying my child for 9 months and hence I should be extra nice to her. I understand her POV and of course gave in to her demands for massages, cravings etc.

Fast fwd a few months and my kid is born. I was tasked to do the night feedings. She had to express out her breastmilk cos my kid can't latch at all. So she expressed, i feed. And I bathe. And changed diapers. Basically apart from supplying my kid's source of nutrients she didn't do anything else. She was 'tired' all the time and again i gave in. Eventually she stopped her breastmilk supply as we moved my kid to other foods.

Now my kid is 15 months. From the time she got pregnant (we calculated and it was on a trip) plus the 9 months she carried my boy we haven't got intimate at all. Mostly cos we were always tired and don't really have any mood. Thats almost 2 years? We don't even kiss.

Few weeks ago I was bored and dug out an old social network account. I logged on and saw that most of the people on that network were kids. All girly girls who type LIkE tHiS w0rZ. Damn turned off. Then someone's profile caught my eye. She sounded mature. Sounded intelligent. I did not care what she looked like as she had only one pic and was just black and white n couldn't really tell much. All I knew was she had long hair and big eyes. I sent her a message.

[BigBigDong]

Bro - make sure she is above 18. :)

Hi guys,

Something happened recently and my head is going to explode from all the things going on. I registered an account here to seek opinions from our brothers and sisters who might have been in the same situation. Anywhere else, I'm afraid I'll just be labeled a bastard and case closed.

I am married with a child. My child is still very young. We got married primarily because she got pregnant and because I love children. My wife and I had been together for more than 3 years when she got pregnant. So we just had a simple wedding and soon my bundle of joy is born.

My relationship with my wife was very good in the beginning (when we got together). She was understanding, smart and funny. We got along well but after about 2 years she showed a different side of her. She became demanding, spoilt and unreasonable at times. I thought I had given in to her too much and over pampered her. Apparently this was what happened to her ex too. Eventually he couldn't take her temper and demands and disappeared, along with some money borrowed from her to settle some stock problems.

I am known to be a very patient person. I decided to reason things out before I do anything drastic. In the end, her ways prevailed and we had a big quarrel. I didn't speak to her for a week and was comtemplating to have a bit of time off each other. She called me one afternoon and told me she was pregnant. Initially I was shocked. Definitely. But I decided it must be fate and began planning for the wedding with her and began to do all the things parents do to welcome their child.

During her pregnancy she wasn't that much more demanding than her usual self. I usually give in cos she always threatened me with the fact that she was the one carrying my child for 9 months and hence I should be extra nice to her. I understand her POV and of course gave in to her demands for massages, cravings etc.

Fast fwd a few months and my kid is born. I was tasked to do the night feedings. She had to express out her breastmilk cos my kid can't latch at all. So she expressed, i feed. And I bathe. And changed diapers. Basically apart from supplying my kid's source of nutrients she didn't do anything else. She was 'tired' all the time and again i gave in. Eventually she stopped her breastmilk supply as we moved my kid to other foods.

Now my kid is 15 months. From the time she got pregnant (we calculated and it was on a trip) plus the 9 months she carried my boy we haven't got intimate at all. Mostly cos we were always tired and don't really have any mood. Thats almost 2 years? We don't even kiss.

Few weeks ago I was bored and dug out an old social network account. I logged on and saw that most of the people on that network were kids. All girly girls who type LIkE tHiS w0rZ. Damn turned off. Then someone's profile caught my eye. She sounded mature. Sounded intelligent. I did not care what she looked like as she had only one pic and was just black and white n couldn't really tell much. All I knew was she had long hair and big eyes. I sent her a message.

[LeGarcon]

I must state this in advance, I really wasn't looking for an extramarital affair. Or a FB. My social life had been reduced to almost zero after my marriage. My wife and I barely talk about anything else apart from money, our kid and how she changed from an understanding person to a bloody unreasonable witch. We were arguing most of the time. If not for my child i wouldn't have to even put up with all these. I was craving for an outlet for my emotions.

We hit off quite well, my online friend, let's call her Belle. Over a few days we exchanged messages, talked about music, we talked about everything (except for sex, i steered clear of that). We clicked pretty well, she handled my kind of humor and she reciprocated. It's like I found my soulmate. Note that she wasn't the only one I talked to, I sent messages to other girls as well but they did not make any impact on me. I was sending her messages with the subtlest of sarcasms and she returned my shot with a barb of her own. It was like having conversational tennis.

One day she decided she hated refreshing her browser on her phone. I asked her okay, u prefer using msn to chat, "nah I don't use that anymore", she said. I suggested whatsapp and she was ok with it. At that point of time she was supposed to tell me stories about how guys try and impress her online.

Me: "hi Belle, it's LeGarcon here, so where are my stories??"

Belle: "I need a name."

Me: "what's wrong with using a nick?"

Belle: "insincere. Name pls."

I gave her my name and i started on a downhill journey.

[alan0338]

I sent her a message.

then then then???? :confused: pls dun leave us hanging 1/2 way hor ... :D

[jimz]

camping here :D

[Fade]

It's a vicious cycle..no matter who u met, WOman will never change her genes. That's life.

[wallace741852]

something is brewing.. setup up campfire .

[esssinine]

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

[cuscorex92]

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

totally agree,its thru time & s the tolerance/passion 2wards each other faded,all 'complaints' wil surface.

爱不只是欣赏对方的优点,也得包容对方的缺点

[fdome]

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

Fully agree, all animals are similar ... :D

setup up my campfire .... more please ... everyday learn ..

[LeGarcon]

We chatted on whatsapp daily about mundane stuff and basically everything under the sun. She told me more about herself and her life. Most of our topics revolved around her somehow. I was subconsciously holding back about talking about myself. She was attached to someone, although she didn't see the relationship going anywhere. I teased her about her character. She did the same to me. We were talking like old friends although we had been chatting about 2 weeks, 3 weeks? I grew to anticipate her texts to me. It provided me with a getaway to another world where someone understood me.

One day she said maybe we should talk over the phone. I was taken aback. I wasn't prepared to do so. My main purpose of talking to her was just to have a chat buddy. That I was very sure of. I told her I had rules and that I had lost potential good friends after they meet up with me. that part is confirm, prior to her I was chatting with another girl and met her for a smoke. She never contacted me back after that possibly because I already told her I was married and perhaps cos I am not a good looking guy.

Belle asked me why was i so mysterious. I told her I had rules for online friends and that include no phone chats or meetups. She was fine with it.

*****************
To this point, I have to tell everyone that I'm not telling the whole story to get attention or make things juicy. In fact it is really boring as I just wanted to include the background as to why I got so attracted to her personality. Just wish to manage some expectations here.
*******************

She has to report to work early sometimes. Wake up at 6/7. One fateful day I woke up early as I couldn't sleep after feeding my boy milk at 5 am. I kept myself awake by playing games and Facebook. Wanted to be the first to text her when she wakes up. Shit i fell asleep and woke up later than expected. I texted her anyway.

"morning baby"

It came naturally. I added baby behind without much thought.

[Stimsia]

pass ctc over
i am single :)

[Gambit7]

Yo, i think ur problems might not be that bad compared to many others. U need to talk to ur wife about the problems that have been bothering u all this while. Ur relationship before marriage lasts for 3 years, which should give u enough time to see who she really is. I would suggest u be nice to ur wife and spell out all the problems and find the best available solution rather than just keep quiet and let her contemplating on her mistakes which she wouldn't understand if u don't explain to her. Regarding ur online friend, if u still love ur wife, don't create new problems when all u have to do is to solve the old problem first. U gotta be responsible and have respect for ur wife. Don't make this problem as an excuse to find a new girl and be a gentleman at the same time.

[LeGarcon]

Yo, i think ur problems might not be that bad compared to many others. U need to talk to ur wife about the problems that have been bothering u all this while. Ur relationship before marriage lasts for 3 years, which should give u enough time to see who she really is. I would suggest u be nice to ur wife and spell out all the problems and find the best available solution rather than just keep quiet and let her contemplating on her mistakes which she wouldn't understand if u don't explain to her. Regarding ur online friend, if u still love ur wife, don't create new problems when all u have to do is to solve the old problem first. U gotta be responsible and have respect for ur wife. Don't make this problem as an excuse to find a new girl and be a gentleman at the same time.

Thanks for ur very constructive feedback bro Gambit7. My MIL actually told me herself before we got married, "don't give in too much to her. You will suffer." shes right. I have tried to solve the problem but in order for my family to function I have to endure. I do love my wife. Perhaps not passionately IN love with her anymore. And I have on many many occasions tried to reason with her. At times she'll understand. Most of the time we end up quarreling. If I can solve this problem, I would be a very happy man. But for the past couple months, the only time I was genuinely happy was when I hold my son.

My online friend is not an excuse to find a new girl. I didn't even meet her. I told her I was married at a point of time when I was guaranteed to be written off (when she was very vexed). In fact I WANT to treat her as a friend only, initially but as we talked more, I realized I have fallen for her. She herself said that I am probably in love with her character, not the person she is. She might be right.

I am not sure if she thinks this way (still) but for me our thoughts are pretty synced. That's why I naturally called her baby. That's why I naturally missed her. If I had wanted to bed her or have an affair, I wouldn't have told her i was married. I wouldn't have done something else (I will elaborate on further down). No other girls, online or in person has given me that kinda emotion.

Sorry for the interjection,

[playboybunny]

Kindly come back to reality.

[LeGarcon]

Kindly come back to reality.

Yes I think I am dealing with it already.

I guess I shouldn't go on with the story. To cut the long story short, it happened that somehow someone close to her knows me and told her I was married.

The moment I told her why I had so many rules, and that reason was I am married, she said she knew. Her friend just told her the night before.

[LeGarcon]

I guess I'll stop the story here. Many bros have advised me that I'm just infatuated with her and it's not worth risking my marriage and young child for someone I haven't even met.

I'm just very drained emotionally from my marriage. I was very happy to have found a person who could relate to me but as circumstances have it, I cannot continue the friendship.

She had stated she had forgiven me for holding the fact that I am married, and I fucked it up by accidentally calling baby again. And after that she stopped replying my texts.

I will not contact her anymore and get this episode out of my head. Thanks for the advice guys and thanks for hearing me out.

[Gambit7]

Bro, i had a gf of 6 years before and we broke up due to irreconciliable differences and i realised i dont love her anymore cos we always quarrelled without any real constructive solutions. she has her position, and i have mine, which obviously conflicted. I understand how do u feel that love has actually waned when u r too long with someone without any real distance. Therefore, when u found someone that gives u a new love, it's like a fresh thing, a new excitement. Naturally, u will love her more than ur wife at this moment in time. Noone can fault u on that. I was in ur shoe before and i did exactly just that. Fortunately, it was just a gf and not a wife.

However, if u think back, u were in love with ur wife before too!! U love her that's why u married her. She might have changed since then, but to what kind of reasons? Is it cos of ur child? She changed all her attentions to ur child that's why she didn't put any effort into u? Or did she fell to another guy that's why she doesn't care u enough? If it's for ur child, i think u have to understand that. She is right in some way too. U can't fault her for giving attention more to ur child right? Which is also urs?

I think u have to make effort into this and get it to work again like before. Give her some flowers, bring her to candle light dinner, say something nice to her when there's an opportunity, bring her to movies, to a short trip holiday for refreshing, or bring her to the old place where u guys first met. There r thousands of ways to make this thing works again bro. If u love ur child and wife, stop messing around with people that can destroy them. Ur wife is the real person u can depend on. There's no girls better than ur own wife.

[nuclearkid]

Bro LeGarcon,

Your story reminds me of a friend from a social media website from about 3 years ago. Like you, I had lots to complain during that stage of my marriage and somehow, talking to someone anonymously online seems a safe bet. She was witty in her own way, empathetic, humorous and the curiosity about her was immense. Long story short, we never met although today, we have each other's phone numbers and Facebook accounts and still share jokes and photographs through WhatsApp and FB.

My point is... Its not exactly a bad thing to have a friend who you merely write to to tide you through tough moments. You will need them from time to time, just to keep you standing when it feels so lonely. Since you have mentioned your social life has been reduced to nothing, going online appears natural. While some people may question why not close, real life friends. Well, for me, I would prefer not to have to deal with the follow-up questions years later about the issues we previously discussed.

Before ending this little ramble of mine, just thought you may not necessarily end up with something extra on the side despite the overwhelming assumption that they all do. And if you consider see value in that friendship and if its still salvagable, who knows right? How often do we meet likeminded people? But her knowing a common friend makes it a little tricky. But if its merely platonic, can't see why not. All the best moving forward. :D

[LeGarcon]

Bro LeGarcon,

Your story reminds me of a friend from a social media website from about 3 years ago. Like you, I had lots to complain during that stage of my marriage and somehow, talking to someone anonymously online seems a safe bet. She was witty in her own way, empathetic, humorous and the curiosity about her was immense. Long story short, we never met although today, we have each other's phone numbers and Facebook accounts and still share jokes and photographs through WhatsApp and FB.

My point is... Its not exactly a bad thing to have a friend who you merely write to to tide you through tough moments. You will need them from time to time, just to keep you standing when it feels so lonely. Since you have mentioned your social life has been reduced to nothing, going online appears natural. While some people may question why not close, real life friends. Well, for me, I would prefer not to have to deal with the follow-up questions years later about the issues we previously discussed.

Before ending this little ramble of mine, just thought you may not necessarily end up with something extra on the side despite the overwhelming assumption that they all do. And if you consider see value in that friendship and if its still salvagable, who knows right? How often do we meet likeminded people? But her knowing a common friend makes it a little tricky. But if its merely platonic, can't see why not. All the best moving forward. :D

Dear bro Nuclearkid,

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. Thing is it WAS salvageable till I made the damn mistake of calling her baby again. I was half asleep. And she has her own issues with her relationship now and I guess she doesn't want to have more on her hands.

I have come to terms with my infatuation with her. On hindsight this sounds a little stupid on my part. I am hoping for nothing out of platonic and definitely I treasure her friendship. But the damage is done by my stupid mistake and i shall not bug her anymore with anymore texts.

Thank you again bro Nuclearkid. I hope I had been like u and kept my head on tight. Now I have lost a potentially good friend.

[LeGarcon]

Bro LeGarcon,

Your story reminds me of a friend from a social media website from about 3 years ago. Like you, I had lots to complain during that stage of my marriage and somehow, talking to someone anonymously online seems a safe bet. She was witty in her own way, empathetic, humorous and the curiosity about her was immense. Long story short, we never met although today, we have each other's phone numbers and Facebook accounts and still share jokes and photographs through WhatsApp and FB.

My point is... Its not exactly a bad thing to have a friend who you merely write to to tide you through tough moments. You will need them from time to time, just to keep you standing when it feels so lonely. Since you have mentioned your social life has been reduced to nothing, going online appears natural. While some people may question why not close, real life friends. Well, for me, I would prefer not to have to deal with the follow-up questions years later about the issues we previously discussed.

Before ending this little ramble of mine, just thought you may not necessarily end up with something extra on the side despite the overwhelming assumption that they all do. And if you consider see value in that friendship and if its still salvagable, who knows right? How often do we meet likeminded people? But her knowing a common friend makes it a little tricky. But if its merely platonic, can't see why not. All the best moving forward. :D

Am finally out of moderation mode. I had replied to u bro nuclearkid but not sure if the post will appear.

Thanks for providing a POV that is similar to mine. I made the unfortunate mistake of getting myself infatuated with belle. She could have been my version of your friend.

As things go, I have seemed to signed my own death warrant with belle when I stupidly called her baby again. She has her own relationship problems and wouldn't want me complicating matters. It hurts really when a seemingly good friend totally ignores u now.

I have sent her one or 2 normal friendly texts but as expected she doesn't reply them. I have to accept the fact that I have lost her friendship now.

Thanks for your insights bro nuclearkid. I wish I hadnt made the damn mistake of being infatuated with her. She could have been a good chum.

[maxsee]

In a way, u r not to be blame also...ur marriage happens coz ur wife is pregnant...i have seen friends in ur situations before...and they stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids....

But since u r in it already..and there is a kid involve...it is better to try to work things out with ur wife...

In a way, i pity u..coz clearly u chose the wrong person to marry...but i guess tis is life...it was never meant to be perfect....

GL Bro ... hope ur marriage will works itself out eventually...

[LeGarcon]

In a way, u r not to be blame also...ur marriage happens coz ur wife is pregnant...i have seen friends in ur situations before...and they stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids....

But since u r in it already..and there is a kid involve...it is better to try to work things out with ur wife...

In a way, i pity u..coz clearly u chose the wrong person to marry...but i guess tis is life...it was never meant to be perfect....

GL Bro ... hope ur marriage will works itself out eventually...

Thanks for the wishes bro maxsee. I'm sure there are many cases like mine. Sometimes when I look at my son i feel so relieved I was not selfish and ask her to abort. If not he wouldn't exist today. I just am perplexed how can one person be so damn unreasonable.

[sane]

Thanks for the wishes bro maxsee. I'm sure there are many cases like mine. Sometimes when I look at my son i feel so relieved I was not selfish and ask her to abort. If not he wouldn't exist today. I just am perplexed how can one person be so damn unreasonable.

It might takes time for her to adapt from someone carefree to a wife, a mother, there might be hormones changes that result in mood swing, she might be lacking of confidence/self esteem due to the weight gain from pregnancy.

If your mindset is only fixed on her being unreasonable without even attempting to understand how she feel, it will be just a matter of time of extra maritial affairs.

Fr women point of view, they are totally devoted to the family after marriage to the extent of having no "me-time", zero social life focusing mainly of children n the household.
They find it frustrating if ever the man return home without lifting a finger to help or juz lazing around and watch tv. Their only communication will be nagging, nagging and nagging n being branded as unreasonable, sooner or later will result in EMA. In the end, it's only the kids that suffer.

Get her out from the house, encourage her for some tea sessions with her friends/workout while you help out in housework, childcaring. Facing four wall everyday with the kid will only breed negativity.

If possible, get someone to help look after the kid while both of you take time for a movie date, wine and dine session etc and perhaps u can take this time to let her know about your feelings. Maker her fall in love with you again.

Choose a right time to communicate. Buy her a small gift occassionally, shower her with concern, show her that u still love her.

She bore you a beautiful child, try to work on your marriage instead of finding solac with a stranger. It will be disastrous if ever she found out. Whether you did it mentally or physically, u will be branded for life.

[sane]

Oh ya abt ur friendship with the gal, no decent gals will like to be branded as potential home wreaker especially more if u hide your maritial status from her.

Your image is greatly discounted n she's keeping away fr u, not even as a platonic friend.

Forget about her n work on your marriage, it won't do both parties any good to keep in touch.

btw for guys, if someone really touch your heart n keep a distance away fr u, is it really possible to forget her?.

[LeGarcon]

It might takes time for her to adapt from someone carefree to a wife, a mother, there might be hormones changes that result in mood swing, she might be lacking of confidence/self esteem due to the weight gain from pregnancy.

If your mindset is only fixed on her being unreasonable without even attempting to understand how she feel, it will be just a matter of time of extra maritial affairs.

Fr women point of view, they are totally devoted to the family after marriage to the extent of having no "me-time", zero social life focusing mainly of children n the household.
They find it frustrating if ever the man return home without lifting a finger to help or juz lazing around and watch tv. Their only communication will be nagging, nagging and nagging n being branded as unreasonable, sooner or later will result in EMA. In the end, it's only the kids that suffer.

Get her out from the house, encourage her for some tea sessions with her friends/workout while you help out in housework, childcaring. Facing four wall everyday with the kid will only breed negativity.

If possible, get someone to help look after the kid while both of you take time for a movie date, wine and dine session etc and perhaps u can take this time to let her know about your feelings. Maker her fall in love with you again.

Choose a right time to communicate. Buy her a small gift occassionally, shower her with concern, show her that u still love her.

She bore you a beautiful child, try to work on your marriage instead of finding solac with a stranger. It will be disastrous if ever she found out. Whether you did it mentally or physically, u will be branded for life.

Thanks for your insight bro sane. Whilst it is good advice, I'm afraid it doesn't apply here. My wife was already like this before she got pregnant. I mentioned she made me almost break up with her just before she told me she was pregnant.

Also I mentioned somewhere that I do most of the chores. If I don't nag she wouldn't even bathe my boy. If u ask whether she is devoting her time to my boy i'd say hardly.

[Xia406]

Dear bro,

Sorry to read about your plight. You mentioned that before marriage your mother-in-law warned you not to give in to her daughter too much but you failed to hind the advice which was a very clear warning and indicator of the future. The reason you gave in to your wife so frequently is perhaps because you really loved her.

Well all is not too late yet. Normally when dealing with human, there are the 2 methods of soft and hard. You should find opportunities to communicate this to your wife. Give her some time to absorb it and change. Start drawing a clear line between giving in to minor and major issues. There are some things where we men can close one eye and let them women have it. Let her know it.

I used to have a girlfriend for over 3 years. Everything was sweet as honey initially when she didn't show her true side early. But as it went on, the uglier side of her appeared and our r/s was nothing but endless of quarrels day after day, week after week. I was like you, always giving in to almost everything and anything against the advice of my own mom of all. But it got to a point where I realized that it wasn't working, I had to put my stand. But she was so used to having it her way, even with her own family, and I realize I cannot marry such a woman. But for you, you have a son at stake. So you have to make a wise choice.

As for Belle, like the rest of the bros mentioned, the reason why you've grown close to her is because she's become that (only) pillar of your emotional support as you don't have much social life. The best thing you can choose to do now is to expand your social circle bro. Reconnect with old friends who you think still care about you, make new friends regardless of gender (best if well mixed), that you can communicate and have some activities with. And the biggest plus point of all is when mixing with good crowd, they will give you sound advice.

Peace out and I hope to hear good things coming your way in due course. Good luck!

[LeGarcon]

Dear bro,

Sorry to read about your plight. You mentioned that before marriage your mother-in-law warned you not to give in to her daughter too much but you failed to hind the advice which was a very clear warning and indicator of the future. The reason you gave in to your wife so frequently is perhaps because you really loved her.

Well all is not too late yet. Normally when dealing with human, there are the 2 methods of soft and hard. You should find opportunities to communicate this to your wife. Give her some time to absorb it and change. Start drawing a clear line between giving in to minor and major issues. There are some things where we men can close one eye and let them women have it. Let her know it.

I used to have a girlfriend for over 3 years. Everything was sweet as honey initially when she didn't show her true side early. But as it went on, the uglier side of her appeared and our r/s was nothing but endless of quarrels day after day, week after week. I was like you, always giving in to almost everything and anything against the advice of my own mom of all. But it got to a point where I realized that it wasn't working, I had to put my stand. But she was so used to having it her way, even with her own family, and I realize I cannot marry such a woman. But for you, you have a son at stake. So you have to make a wise choice.

As for Belle, like the rest of the bros mentioned, the reason why you've grown close to her is because she's become that (only) pillar of your emotional support as you don't have much social life. The best thing you can choose to do now is to expand your social circle bro. Reconnect with old friends who you think still care about you, make new friends regardless of gender (best if well mixed), that you can communicate and have some activities with. And the biggest plus point of all is when mixing with good crowd, they will give you sound advice.

Peace out and I hope to hear good things coming your way in due course. Good luck!

Thanks very much bro Xia406. Really nice and uplifting advice from u. I too realize ur point and have stopped texting her already. Have told a few buddies that I really need to catch up over beer.

Now if only the wife can grant me the off pass...

[sane]

Dear bro,

Well all is not too late yet. Normally when dealing with human, there are the 2 methods of soft and hard. You should find opportunities to communicate this to your wife. Give her some time to absorb it and change. Start drawing a clear line between giving in to minor and major issues. There are some things where we men can close one eye and let them women have it. Let her know it.
!

It's true. Find opportunity to communicate, my ex bring out the worst in me, always brushing me as spoilt, quarrelsome, unreasonable whenever I try to communicate. This is indeed very frustrating n result in more quarrel, I find that he does not understand me while my current SO is v high in EQ, whenever my face expression change, he can sense it n communicate with me.
We always manage to iron things out to the extend that we can communicate without even a slightest need to raise our voice and hardly quarrel.

[Bigbadken]

Thanks for your insight bro sane. Whilst it is good advice, I'm afraid it doesn't apply here. My wife was already like this before she got pregnant. I mentioned she made me almost break up with her just before she told me she was pregnant.

Also I mentioned somewhere that I do most of the chores. If I don't nag she wouldn't even bathe my boy. If u ask whether she is devoting her time to my boy i'd say hardly.

Sorry to about ur predicament bro.

Like wat other bros had suggested, i think u should sit down n voice ur concerns to ur wife. There are many temptations out there but dun let them ruin ur marriage. Its not worth it.

[fdome]

Like wat other bros had suggested, i think u should sit down n voice ur concerns to ur wife. There are many temptations out there but dun let them ruin ur marriage. Its not worth it.

yes, cheongers need to remember that marriage is for long term, and fl / others are for play and forget :D

[sane]

yes, cheongers need to remember that marriage is for long term, and fl / others are for play and forget :D

This scene is not for everybody, want to play outside also muz depends whether they r those 拿得起，放的下。If not, it will only make one more miserable with emotional heartstrings.

[badboy123]

zzzzz... seriously. its a marriage you are talking about!

ALWAYS REMEMBER! SEX CAN BE BOUGHT BUT MARRIAGE CANNOT!

[badboy123]

zzzzz... seriously. its a marriage you are talking about!

ALWAYS REMEMBER! SEX CAN BE BOUGHT BUT MARRIAGE CANNOT!

PLEASE DIFFERENCIATE SEX FROM LOVE!!!

i have gone through what you have gone through as well!

[fdome]

This scene is not for everybody, want to play outside also muz depends whether they r those 拿得起，放的下。If not, it will only make one more miserable with emotional heartstrings.

thanks sis, you are right :D How do you find your life in SBF, more exciting than b4?

[sane]

thanks sis, you are right :D How do you find your life in SBF, more exciting than b4?

Hi bro, not bad, still learning from the bros here :D

[LeGarcon]

btw for guys, if someone really touch your heart n keep a distance away fr u, is it really possible to forget her?.

Currently in my 30 over years there are 2 girls whom I cannot forget. They have a special place in my heart. Small space. But cut out for them and never replaced. Never forgotten. So I guess for those that really touched our hearts, nope wont forget one.

[sane]

Currently in my 30 over years there are 2 girls whom I cannot forget. They have a special place in my heart. Small space. But cut out for them and never replaced. Never forgotten. So I guess for those that really touched our hearts, nope wont forget one.

Thanks, I believe in that too. Then how to see whether he really likes her as a friend or just merely want to find a fb?

Sometimes its v frustrating that when u only geninuely want a platonic friendship yet the other party is trying his best to be nicest just to see whether there's a chance to take things further as in being fb since other parties are attached and unable to develop further.

How abt u? If there's a chance for her to be ur fb, will u go for it?

[nuclearkid]

Am finally out of moderation mode. I had replied to u bro nuclearkid but not sure if the post will appear.

Thanks for providing a POV that is similar to mine. I made the unfortunate mistake of getting myself infatuated with belle. She could have been my version of your friend.

As things go, I have seemed to signed my own death warrant with belle when I stupidly called her baby again. She has her own relationship problems and wouldn't want me complicating matters. It hurts really when a seemingly good friend totally ignores u now.

I have sent her one or 2 normal friendly texts but as expected she doesn't reply them. I have to accept the fact that I have lost her friendship now.

Thanks for your insights bro nuclearkid. I wish I hadnt made the damn mistake of being infatuated with her. She could have been a good chum.

'Baby' means different things to different people. I got a friend who texts me 'baby' from time to time although we are both blokes and he is a big, manly guy with no homosexual tendencies as far as the eye can see. Perhaps Belle had issues to deal with internally, as you have alluded to regarding her own relationship, rather than your assumption that calling her 'baby' killed the friendship. Don't need to shoulder all the guilt yourself, things can be simpler than you think.

Nonetheless, not all is lost, the experience you have gained would stand you in good stead and I believe you should handle the next one better. I am quite sure you will have a next one, should you go on finding.:D I won't say its a bad thing. You need someone to talk to and its impossible to talk to your wife about your wife without getting your head chewed off.

I won't be conventional here and advise you to have a heart to heart talk with your partner to resolve this funk as there are those of us who know some partners are untalkable and utterly egocentric. Your mother-in-law made a telling comment when she said what she said. And reading between the lines, its a good guess that she wasn't expecting you to have it easy with her daughter. Your current predicament has so far been corroborating.

Personally, I see the need to cut one's losses at some predetermined point, with kid(s) in tow or not. Your kid will have his/her own life in 20 years and before that, you can still play your part as a role of a father. Being a part of a dysfunctional marriage isn't exactly the definition of a complete home despite being physically with your wife under the same roof. You can be blissfully happy with another woman and still fulfill your role to the child as a father, its well within your control. They will eventually grow up understanding what you did for your own happiness, especially if they know you have done your best to salvage what you could with their mother.

Meanwhile, can't say much more as to how you can improve your situation. Some day, a breakthrough will come along and you will be happier. Until then, just wait. Take it easy on yourself, you can't think your way out of every single problem. Einstein said this and it had helped me through tough moments just by sitting it out... "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it". :D

[sean69]

Currently in my 30 over years there are 2 girls whom I cannot forget. They have a special place in my heart. Small space. But cut out for them and never replaced. Never forgotten. So I guess for those that really touched our hearts, nope wont forget one.

there is only 1 woman whom i cannot and will never forget.. she is my mother who passed away many years ago ...

other women comes and goes, but at least i know my mother loves me unconditionally regardless of what i have done... she will not judge me but accepts me..

[LPPlol]

Thanks for your insight bro sane. Whilst it is good advice, I'm afraid it doesn't apply here. My wife was already like this before she got pregnant. I mentioned she made me almost break up with her just before she told me she was pregnant.

Also I mentioned somewhere that I do most of the chores. If I don't nag she wouldn't even bathe my boy. If u ask whether she is devoting her time to my boy i'd say hardly.

LOL... bro LeGarcon

We must have been twin brothers somewhere in our last lives...

I also do most of the housework wor! But the diff is that my wife is not pregnant.

[Botakhead]

Why do I have the feeling that having FB must be emotionally attached? This is 2 hands clap then got sound logic, both parties must agree to just have sex, hot sex, nothing but sex, especially when those married ones cannot get fulfilment from their married other half.

Better to keep emotions clear from FB, or even FL. Some can even go so far to fall in love with WL to the stage of getting married. I'm not here to put any one down, just to be clear what kind of R/S needed to be emotionally involved.

Got to balance this out, marriage is because, both are 'deeply' in LOVE with each other, then you all proceed to VOW. Of course there are also the circumstances of a shotgun marriage......all done already but not really full hearted marriage.

This is where the society accepted anulment and divorce to be legal binding. Make sure you have enough money to go around the situation.

Whatever the case, be clear of what you are doing, not to hurt anyone in the end.:)

[LeGarcon]

Thanks, I believe in that too. Then how to see whether he really likes her as a friend or just merely want to find a fb?

Sometimes its v frustrating that when u only geninuely want a platonic friendship yet the other party is trying his best to be nicest just to see whether there's a chance to take things further as in being fb since other parties are attached and unable to develop further.

How abt u? If there's a chance for her to be ur fb, will u go for it?

For her to be an FB she has to be a B first. As perhaps u can tell, I'm more in need emotionally and dare I say it, intellectually. I'm like an Alter Bridge/Satriani/Steve Morse guy. I'm paired up with David Guetta/Lady Gaga. Zzz.

I'll need to fulfill that need first before physical comes along. I'm not a Wham Bang Thank you Ma'am guy. So to be very honest, there is a possibility IF it happens. But not now when physical need is not a priority now. I have my trusty right hand.

But of cos this is a valid concern, sis Sane. I'm sure Belle might think that way too.

[LeGarcon]

'Baby' means different things to different people. I got a friend who texts me 'baby' from time to time although we are both blokes and he is a big, manly guy with no homosexual tendencies as far as the eye can see. Perhaps Belle had issues to deal with internally, as you have alluded to regarding her own relationship, rather than your assumption that calling her 'baby' killed the friendship. Don't need to shoulder all the guilt yourself, things can be simpler than you think.

Nonetheless, not all is lost, the experience you have gained would stand you in good stead and I believe you should handle the next one better. I am quite sure you will have a next one, should you go on finding.:D I won't say its a bad thing. You need someone to talk to and its impossible to talk to your wife about your wife without getting your head chewed off.

I won't be conventional here and advise you to have a heart to heart talk with your partner to resolve this funk as there are those of us who know some partners are untalkable and utterly egocentric. Your mother-in-law made a telling comment when she said what she said. And reading between the lines, its a good guess that she wasn't expecting you to have it easy with her daughter. Your current predicament has so far been corroborating.

Personally, I see the need to cut one's losses at some predetermined point, with kid(s) in tow or not. Your kid will have his/her own life in 20 years and before that, you can still play your part as a role of a father. Being a part of a dysfunctional marriage isn't exactly the definition of a complete home despite being physically with your wife under the same roof. You can be blissfully happy with another woman and still fulfill your role to the child as a father, its well within your control. They will eventually grow up understanding what you did for your own happiness, especially if they know you have done your best to salvage what you could with their mother.

Meanwhile, can't say much more as to how you can improve your situation. Some day, a breakthrough will come along and you will be happier. Until then, just wait. Take it easy on yourself, you can't think your way out of every single problem. Einstein said this and it had helped me through tough moments just by sitting it out... "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it". :D

Lol u are speaking directly to my brain, Nuclearkid. I don't think I'll go on finding a new confidante on purpose. I've closed that social network account. She has her own issues and I think she has her own way of dealing with them. I have to respect that and since I've said to her I'll not contact her anymore I'll stick to my words. Just hope one day she'll remember me as a friend and not another fucker trying to get into her pants.

This has been generally a bad experience for me. Likely I had been a coincidental replacement for her ex-ex. I dunno. Perhaps her "i'll think of you"s and "I don't want you to disappear"s were all directed at him not me.

Thanks bro for really understanding where I come from.

[LeGarcon]

LOL... bro LeGarcon

We must have been twin brothers somewhere in our last lives...

I also do most of the housework wor! But the diff is that my wife is not pregnant.

苦命 brothers we are. Lol. Got kid lagi worse can. Clean poop. Feed. Change. Prepare milk. Drive.

[LeGarcon]

Thanks to the bro who upped me telling me to cheer up. Really appreciate it. Pls send me a PM so I can reciprocate in the future.

To the bro who zapped me saying this: " you are a loser please get lost you are wasting the forum bandwidth with your low life stupid fake story thread" without leaving ur nick, I have no incentive to prove u wrong. All I can say is this subforum is for matters of the heart. So I'm not wasting bandwidth. This story is real but unfortunately u don't believe it. I don't see the need to rebutt or prove anything to u.

[LeGarcon]

Why do I have the feeling that having FB must be emotionally attached? This is 2 hands clap then got sound logic, both parties must agree to just have sex, hot sex, nothing but sex, especially when those married ones cannot get fulfilment from their married other half.

Better to keep emotions clear from FB, or even FL. Some can even go so far to fall in love with WL to the stage of getting married. I'm not here to put any one down, just to be clear what kind of R/S needed to be emotionally involved.

Got to balance this out, marriage is because, both are 'deeply' in LOVE with each other, then you all proceed to VOW. Of course there are also the circumstances of a shotgun marriage......all done already but not really full hearted marriage.

This is where the society accepted anulment and divorce to be legal binding. Make sure you have enough money to go around the situation.

Whatever the case, be clear of what you are doing, not to hurt anyone in the end.:)

Thanks bro I'm not thinking of going the divorce route. It's a responsibility I have to shoulder. Will not cause any unnecessary hurt.

[nuclearkid]

Thanks bro I'm not thinking of going the divorce route. It's a responsibility I have to shoulder. Will not cause any unnecessary hurt.

Perhaps not yet but don't discount that possibility. At some point if things do not improve, it would perhaps be better for you BOTH to reconsider your options. You may have noticed many older couples are really together in name... they don't sit together at dinner tables, don't hold hands and hardly even walk side by side anymore. Evidently, there is no passion, no conspicuous love/romance between them anymore. To get to this point and realise you can never U-turn would be regretable. Am not playing the devil here, we all need to project into the future from time to time just to plan ahead. No point waiting until the inevitable happens and in the process, losing all that precious time when you could have re-charted a different course in life.

As for your child, yes, its a responsiblity you have to shoulder but there are various ways to discharge your duties. Sacrificing your personal happiness for it is sub-optimal.

[LeGarcon]

Perhaps not yet but don't discount that possibility. At some point if things do not improve, it would perhaps be better for you BOTH to reconsider your options. You may have noticed many older couples are really together in name... they don't sit together at dinner tables, don't hold hands and hardly even walk side by side anymore. Evidently, there is no passion, no conspicuous love/romance between them anymore. To get to this point and realise you can never U-turn would be regretable. Am not playing the devil here, we all need to project into the future from time to time just to plan ahead. No point waiting until the inevitable happens and in the process, losing all that precious time when you could have re-charted a different course in life.

As for your child, yes, its a responsiblity you have to shoulder but there are various ways to discharge your duties. Sacrificing your personal happiness for it is sub-optimal.

Rational course, I dont disagree. But for now my own happiness is secondary. I'll need to bring up my kid in the best way possible. I'll just have to try and work things out so it doesn't have to go to that extreme.

Sigh. On the other hand, I keep hoping for belle to text me. A simple hello would brighten up my day.

Thanks for sticking with me thus far brothers and sisters. Really appreciate your input. I had no other way to fully vent my frustrations and so far only 1 buddy knows what I'm going through.

[sane]

Rational course, I dont disagree. But for now my own happiness is secondary. I'll need to bring up my kid in the best way possible. I'll just have to try and work things out so it doesn't have to go to that extreme.

Sigh. On the other hand, I keep hoping for belle to text me. A simple hello would brighten up my day.

Thanks for sticking with me thus far brothers and sisters. Really appreciate your input. I had no other way to fully vent my frustrations and so far only 1 buddy knows what I'm going through.

Take care, bro.

[nstern]

Bro are u even certain u 'like' her? Does she even give a flying fuck whether u are waiting for her msgs??? Are you the only one she is whatsapping with?? She's playing with u bro!!! While u down there so silly waiting for her msg, she is busy whatsapping other guys, or even bedding them! Wake up your idea!! Does she even consider u a friend?

Do u even think whatever she told u are from the bottom of her heart? If she really had feelings for u too, so easy to let go of u? Wake up bro. I've been through this before. she may even be reading your thread now and laughing at how she made a married guy miss her. Nice guy like u deserve better. We all do. If she has issues, she should come to terms with them. Just ignoring u is like putting u in jail. I went through this before. I know how u feel but seriously la this girl not worth ur love. We guys have weaknesses. Especially if we are in a dead marriage. She knows u won't even meet her so what's her deal? My guess is as good as everyone else's and that is she was never sincere.

My $1 worth.

[Likeucare]

Bro, i had a gf of 6 years before and we broke up due to irreconciliable differences and i realised i dont love her anymore cos we always quarrelled without any real constructive solutions. she has her position, and i have mine, which obviously conflicted. I understand how do u feel that love has actually waned when u r too long with someone without any real distance. Therefore, when u found someone that gives u a new love, it's like a fresh thing, a new excitement. Naturally, u will love her more than ur wife at this moment in time. Noone can fault u on that. I was in ur shoe before and i did exactly just that. Fortunately, it was just a gf and not a wife.

However, if u think back, u were in love with ur wife before too!! U love her that's why u married her. She might have changed since then, but to what kind of reasons? Is it cos of ur child? She changed all her attentions to ur child that's why she didn't put any effort into u? Or did she fell to another guy that's why she doesn't care u enough? If it's for ur child, i think u have to understand that. She is right in some way too. U can't fault her for giving attention more to ur child right? Which is also urs?

I think u have to make effort into this and get it to work again like before. Give her some flowers, bring her to candle light dinner, say something nice to her when there's an opportunity, bring her to movies, to a short trip holiday for refreshing, or bring her to the old place where u guys first met. There r thousands of ways to make this thing works again bro. If u love ur child and wife, stop messing around with people that can destroy them. Ur wife is the real person u can depend on. There's no girls better than ur own wife.

wow Gambit7. u r such a sweetheart if only all married guys use their f*king head to think before starting out on anything. the divorce rate would drastically drop le.

[Likeucare]

Why do I have the feeling that having FB must be emotionally attached? This is 2 hands clap then got sound logic, both parties must agree to just have sex, hot sex, nothing but sex, especially when those married ones cannot get fulfilment from their married other half.

Better to keep emotions clear from FB, or even FL. Some can even go so far to fall in love with WL to the stage of getting married. I'm not here to put any one down, just to be clear what kind of R/S needed to be emotionally involved.

Got to balance this out, marriage is because, both are 'deeply' in LOVE with each other, then you all proceed to VOW. Of course there are also the circumstances of a shotgun marriage......all done already but not really full hearted marriage.

This is where the society accepted anulment and divorce to be legal binding. Make sure you have enough money to go around the situation.

Whatever the case, be clear of what you are doing, not to hurt anyone in the end.:)

Wow really.. watch friends with benefits.. don't think sex can be really that unemotional especially when u sorta knew each other its not those prostitute kind u know. how not to feel hurt in the end. by the way even if the ger try to remains unemotional sooner or later she will feel the need to bond.. even if the ger already has her heart carved out, the guy still falls for the ger sometimes...

:( if only our so always try to make everything better... sex with yr SO is tha hard ah? so weird. maybe only asians got this kind of shit problem.

[aerogun]

Wow. I can say that I feel you bro, because I went through roughly the same thing. Except that my wife has still been loving and all. I am happy with my wife and our 20mnth old son, yet I crave for this girl's touch ever since we cut off communication after I got married. and oh, I got to the first base with her just 3 months ago. I felt bad

Anywayyy..back to your case..I feel that you yourself deserve some love and dignity as well. Your wife is not treating you well; it's either you let her know through subtle means , or firm ones. You are after all the head of the family; if she doesn't budge, she's a liability to your very foundation of a happy family. as for your lover, just go on (discreetly) until a certain phase looms up..hmm not much of a help there ey?

[LeGarcon]

Wow. I can say that I feel you bro, because I went through roughly the same thing. Except that my wife has still been loving and all. I am happy with my wife and our 20mnth old son, yet I crave for this girl's touch ever since we cut off communication after I got married. and oh, I got to the first base with her just 3 months ago. I felt bad

Anywayyy..back to your case..I feel that you yourself deserve some love and dignity as well. Your wife is not treating you well; it's either you let her know through subtle means , or firm ones. You are after all the head of the family; if she doesn't budge, she's a liability to your very foundation of a happy family. as for your lover, just go on (discreetly) until a certain phase looms up..hmm not much of a help there ey?

Lol bro frankly speaking really no help. Cos my wife is gone case. In fact just quarrelled again. And this belle is not my lover. She hasn't replied my texts since I told her i am married. So... Really not much help haha but appreciate it bro

[LeGarcon]

Sigh. I miss her terribly.

[redhun]

Sigh. I miss her terribly.

Can totally feel for u! Whn ur marriage ucks, makes you even more vulnerable.

[bonkning]

misery loves company...

it feels good to know dat i am not alone getting all these shit ...
your wife sounds like my wife's twin...

difference is i have no kids...and i think mine is a little tiny tweeny bit better.
sorry this is no consolation for u ...but basically we are in the same shithole...helpless...

[nuclearkid]

Sigh. I miss her terribly.

Relapse, huh? :D Write Belle off... and if you really think you would like someone to talk to, start writing around. Do put in some effort with you do so. I have a friend who asks why people don't reply? Obviously when he writes with such obvious indications that he is penning from his loins, how many girls would actually reply? Be sincere when chatting, you will find Belle's replacement soon enough.

Write Belle off...Paiseh, said it twice but you are mind fucked. :D

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[evildolly]

Hi threadstarter,

From what you mentioned, you are such a wonderful husband. If there are more husbands like you around, how nice will it be!

Is it possible to have a talk with your wife? Sometimes human beings don't see how horrible they become after years of being with someone.

Also forget Belle. Its just a brief emotional connection you felt with her. You still have a kid to take care of. For the sake of your child, make your marriage work!

[LeGarcon]

Can totally feel for u! Whn ur marriage ucks, makes you even more vulnerable.

Thanks sis. Ur 10 years is even more miserable than my one, two months. I respect u for that.

[LeGarcon]

misery loves company...

it feels good to know dat i am not alone getting all these shit ...
your wife sounds like my wife's twin...

difference is i have no kids...and i think mine is a little tiny tweeny bit better.
sorry this is no consolation for u ...but basically we are in the same shithole...helpless...

Haha indeed bro, misery loves company. Don't be sorry, I just wanna voice out my pain I don't expect much consolation :) im pretty resigned to my fate. Latest quote from my mum in law: "你上辈子一定是欠了他很多。"

[LeGarcon]

Relapse, huh? :D Write Belle off... and if you really think you would like someone to talk to, start writing around. Do put in some effort with you do so. I have a friend who asks why people don't reply? Obviously when he writes with such obvious indications that he is penning from his loins, how many girls would actually reply? Be sincere when chatting, you will find Belle's replacement soon enough.

Write Belle off...Paiseh, said it twice but you are mind fucked. :D

Ah bro nuclearkid, indeed I am mindfucked. This relapse isn't exactly a relapse. She has always been on my mind. Don't even know how I survived the past weeks. On one hand I'm handling my wife's sloth. On the other I'm debating whether to text belle again and try my luck.

I have spoken to some people online after this episode. I guess I'm in this rut cos I'm not looking to replace her. Normally I don't get this attached to online chatters. So i guess she really is someone special to me (of cos, it's my own POV, she probably has already buried my name away). So no, I'm not chatting online anymore.

Thanks for the honest advice bro. Would up your points if I could. Really appreciate it.

[LeGarcon]

Well at least it goes to show she is not a homewrecker type. Nuclearkid is right - write Belle off - she knows what she wants and its not you. Don't waste your emotions on someone who will not reciprocate them.

Anyway, I applaud you for trying to hang onto a failed marriage for your kid. Hope everything works out for you. Wishing you all the best in your endeavors :)

She's not. And yes she knows exactly what she wants and it's definitely not me. It's this streak of individualism in her that attracted me initially. As a friend once told me, I care too much. Perhaps that's why I tend to put too much emotions into things.

Thank you for your kind words and I wish you the same.

[LeGarcon]

Hi threadstarter,

From what you mentioned, you are such a wonderful husband. If there are more husbands like you around, how nice will it be!

Is it possible to have a talk with your wife? Sometimes human beings don't see how horrible they become after years of being with someone.

Also forget Belle. Its just a brief emotional connection you felt with her. You still have a kid to take care of. For the sake of your child, make your marriage work!

Hi sis haha thanks for the compliments. I am trying my best to fulfill my responsibilities but I guess I'm just human and I couldn't control my feelings for *gasp* someone online. Lol. Guess I ain't that nice a hubby lah.

I am trying my best to put her deep in the abyss of my mind. But really, I sometimes read the entire 6 weeks of conversation with her and can't help but feel a lil warm and fuzzy inside. Pardon my indulgence here. What I experienced with belle, I don't experience anymore with my wife (up to now at least).

Yes for my kid I'll do anything. When push comes to shove, for his happiness his old man has to sacrifice his own. Thanks for the advice sis evildolly. Really appreciate it.

[epicureanp]

LeGarcon,

Pardon me if someone has already said this...

Brief relationships come and go especially in this day of social media. For the sake of your sanity and to stop yourself from going crazy thinking too much, I would suggest you move on and not think too much about Belle. Concentrate on your role as a father if you really like kids. Talk to your wife too... I'm sure she has redemning factors.

Look on the bright side.... your reward with doing all the feeds and diaper change is that your kid will be dam tight with you. Enjoy that.

-J

[evildolly]

Hi sis haha thanks for the compliments. I am trying my best to fulfill my responsibilities but I guess I'm just human and I couldn't control my feelings for *gasp* someone online. Lol. Guess I ain't that nice a hubby lah.

I am trying my best to put her deep in the abyss of my mind. But really, I sometimes read the entire 6 weeks of conversation with her and can't help but feel a lil warm and fuzzy inside. Pardon my indulgence here. What I experienced with belle, I don't experience anymore with my wife (up to now at least).

Yes for my kid I'll do anything. When push comes to shove, for his happiness his old man has to sacrifice his own. Thanks for the advice sis evildolly. Really appreciate it.


Then you should make yourself busy so that you do not have time to think about her.

Actually, you cannot sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your child. You would not want your kid to grow up in a family where they see parents having frequent cold wars / fights. The child will not be happy. Thats why I said you have to make your marriage work. Some suggestions could be:

1. Have a heart to heart talk with your wife
2. Have one to one dates with your wife.
3. Lastly, stop giving in to your wife. She has to learn to be reasonable. Never mind if she kicks up a huge fuss but stay firm. (not sure if it will work though)

All the best!

[JuzNiceM]

I'll be a bastard for once.

I've noticed the style you write. I can say most girls will be attracted to your honesty.

Since you cannot forget Belle. Write it out. Write out your everyday thoughts since you cut it off with her that day/night.

Compose it carefully and mail to to her. You can't let it go, you'll never be free. But you must promise me, once you let go, never look back. This is the rule of the game.

The idea is to release your emotions about her. Fcuk it if she bothers or not. Not important. Important is you said how you feel, be happy about it and go.

Life should be without regrets, and get back to your duty being a husband and father.

Good luck and will pray for you bro!

[LeGarcon]

LeGarcon,

Pardon me if someone has already said this...

Brief relationships come and go especially in this day of social media. For the sake of your sanity and to stop yourself from going crazy thinking too much, I would suggest you move on and not think too much about Belle. Concentrate on your role as a father if you really like kids. Talk to your wife too... I'm sure she has redemning factors.

Look on the bright side.... your reward with doing all the feeds and diaper change is that your kid will be dam tight with you. Enjoy that.

-J

That is sound advice bro epicurean. Yes upon reflection I haven't been the greatest husband. Yes I'm nice to her but I have turned into a boring uncle now, I guess due to work stress and the chores of taking care of a little human being. Sigh.

Yes I love kids really. But nowadays I'm getting very ill-tempered because of my work n THIS ISSUE. I really need to settle my emotional baggage. Bros here are right, belle is only someone who crossed paths with me briefly. I shouldn't let it manifest into a big problem that affects the well being of my family. She could be the right person at the most bloody wrong time.

Again I thank u bro epicurean. I'm actually very surprised at the level of compassion and empathy I get here. This proves that men here aren't just here for sex related activities. We are capable of support!


Then you should make yourself busy so that you do not have time to think about her.

Actually, you cannot sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your child. You would not want your kid to grow up in a family where they see parents having frequent cold wars / fights. The child will not be happy. Thats why I said you have to make your marriage work. Some suggestions could be:

1. Have a heart to heart talk with your wife
2. Have one to one dates with your wife.
3. Lastly, stop giving in to your wife. She has to learn to be reasonable. Never mind if she kicks up a huge fuss but stay firm. (not sure if it will work though)

All the best!

I see where u come from sister. That is a very valid point that I missed. My childhood was relatively unhappy. I guess I really have to reconcile with my wife to let my son be happy too. Lucky u brought this up.

I'm now trying to show her more attention, and i am more firm in my actions. No more letting her shit on my head now. Need to tame the shrew and turn her into a nice caring wife. Not quite there yet but I'm beginning to see a little improvement. :) thanks again sis evildolly

I'll be a bastard for once.

I've noticed the style you write. I can say most girls will be attracted to your honesty.

Since you cannot forget Belle. Write it out. Write out your everyday thoughts since you cut it off with her that day/night.

Compose it carefully and mail to to her. You can't let it go, you'll never be free. But you must promise me, once you let go, never look back. This is the rule of the game.

The idea is to release your emotions about her. Fcuk it if she bothers or not. Not important. Important is you said how you feel, be happy about it and go.

Life should be without regrets, and get back to your duty being a husband and father.

Good luck and will pray for you bro!

Ahhh bro, I have beat u to the idea of writing down my feelings. I set up a blog penning down my thoughts. Not everyday but it's like an open letter to her, IF she can find it, if she bothers to google her name and mine. Haha it's a long shot but if she does find it i confirm plus guarantee plus chop buy toto that week.

And just in case anyone's interested, no I cannot disclose the blog, cos it will definitely ID me and her. I hope bros could respect my need for privacy here.

JuzNiceM, u sound like a 过来人, I suppose u used this method to get over someone? ;) I'm sure it helped u that's why u recommend it. Thanks very much for sharing. And yes I will concentrate on being a good dad and hubby. Thanks for praying for me n good luck in whatever you do too

[haojian]

wow Gambit7. u r such a sweetheart if only all married guys use their f*king head to think before starting out on anything. the divorce rate would drastically drop le.

If only married women also do the same.:mad:

[Ladyrain]

That is sound advice bro epicurean. Yes upon reflection I haven't been the greatest husband. Yes I'm nice to her but I have turned into a boring uncle now, I guess due to work stress and the chores of taking care of a little human being. Sigh.

Yes I love kids really. But nowadays I'm getting very ill-tempered because of my work n THIS ISSUE. I really need to settle my emotional baggage.

I see where u come from sister. That is a very valid point that I missed. My childhood was relatively unhappy.

Ahhh bro, I have beat u to the idea of writing down my feelings. I set up a blog penning down my thoughts. Not everyday but it's like an open letter to her, IF she can find it, if she bothers to google her name and mine. Haha it's a long shot but if she does find it i confirm plus guarantee plus chop buy toto that week too

Right. . Maybe I should start doing the same thing.. Beats the agony of not being able to express ones thoughts and
feelings openly and freely. I really feel so bad now.. I feel punished for being completely honest and open. I'm never one to hide away with feelings regardless of any matters but I guess maybe I should refrain revealing too much just so the other party won't be affected.
I jinxed the innocent friendship I thought I've found. Never been treated this way before ever and so feel really upset. . :( he was a great distraction from whatever shit thoughts I had prior to knowing him. He was a great small pillar. He also reminded me of myself when I was at his age. He was like a combination of all that I've experienced minus those bad stuffs I've been through..
So yes, a blog should help as an avenue to channel whatever leftover feelings I have.

[Apocalypse]

Hi sis haha thanks for the compliments. I am trying my best to fulfill my responsibilities but I guess I'm just human and I couldn't control my feelings for *gasp* someone online. Lol. Guess I ain't that nice a hubby lah.

I am trying my best to put her deep in the abyss of my mind. But really, I sometimes read the entire 6 weeks of conversation with her and can't help but feel a lil warm and fuzzy inside. Pardon my indulgence here. What I experienced with belle, I don't experience anymore with my wife (up to now at least).

Yes for my kid I'll do anything. When push comes to shove, for his happiness his old man has to sacrifice his own. Thanks for the advice sis evildolly. Really appreciate it.

The thing is this. many man make excuses for themselves when they stray, but you have to understand this. If you love your wife, taking care of the kid does not become a chore. It is a joy because it a an empowerment. When you see it as a joyful thing to do, you plant a seed of joy in your heart. extend this to every area of your relationship with her, and you will not resent her for her attitude towards you. A good husband is not one that does everything for his wife. A good husband is one that loves her when it is hard to love her. cherish her together with her quirks and imperfections including her selfishness and laziness. Accept that she will get worse as she ages, as she goes through menopause etc etc. Who belle is is irrelevant, there will always be many distractions to the goal.

Your goal is your wife, and you are hunting for belle(s) because you feel the one at home has already been hunted and do not need to hunt anymore. Start seeing her as someone attractive, use whatever limited imagination to imagine her being sexy once more, how her boobs have become bigger with the pregnancy and if there are some distance, how do you chase her and woo her again as if u just met her at some pub or some orientation camp. You will fail, because she knows your weakness and your ugliness like nobody else (except maybe your ex gf:p) but don't give up because it fails but let it motivate u, to fine tune your methods and approach. keep trying and eventually u'll be too tired to notice other belle.

that of course is just imo how a hubby should be to sustain a marriage or any relationship.

[Klein76]

苦命 brothers we are. Lol. Got kid lagi worse can. Clean poop. Feed. Change. Prepare milk. Drive.

You are not alone bro,i had since get used to it and stay together because of the kid sake... :(

[Klein76]

Then you should make yourself busy so that you do not have time to think about her.

Actually, you cannot sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your child. You would not want your kid to grow up in a family where they see parents having frequent cold wars / fights. The child will not be happy. Thats why I said you have to make your marriage work. Some suggestions could be:

1. Have a heart to heart talk with your wife
2. Have one to one dates with your wife.
3. Lastly, stop giving in to your wife. She has to learn to be reasonable. Never mind if she kicks up a huge fuss but stay firm. (not sure if it will work though)

All the best!

I dont think the suggestion will work on this type of unreasonable partner as i had try it before......Do you have any more ideas?

[JuzNiceM]

JuzNiceM, u sound like a 过来人, I suppose u used this method to get over someone? ;) I'm sure it helped u that's why u recommend it. Thanks very much for sharing. And yes I will concentrate on being a good dad and hubby. Thanks for praying for me n good luck in whatever you do too

No worries bro.
I will never forget how I got over my issues. I write to her everyday, I know she read it. She just refused to replied back.

I waited, waited .. days turned into weeks, weeks flowed into months. By the time she did so, I stopped for a while and well over her. Because all I need to say, I've said it.

It is fate that we always find dat 1 person. but life is about choices. Some good, some bad, some nasty.

If we were to regret everything damn choices we made, life will lose it's meaning. The woman I supposed will stay as a memory in your mind. But your wife and your kid will stay for good.

Do cherish it. Might be tough at the moment but when a family is bonded as one, nothing can break it off. It all depends on how much you're willing to work for it.

[LeGarcon]

A little update:

Somehow I texted her out of the blue, when I was smoking downstairs at the carpark. It was past midnight and I was just back from meeting some uni friends. I told her, "I wouldn't expect any reply but hey take care of yourself" locked the phone n put in my pocket

Suddenly the phone beeped, "Why do you keep on trying if you know I might not reply?"

I was very shocked. I didn't know what exactly to say in reply.

I swear I really didn't have time to think and this is probably the most stupid answer anyone could come up with. "cos I'm irritating." seriously wtf right.

Sobering up a bit, I added, "or maybe I'm genuinely concerned."

Her: "hhmm. Ok."

We've started talking again but now it's more like I'm providing her my virtual shoulder and virtual ear. My texts don't get replies most of the time unless she needs to talk about her problems. Am I sad about this? Yes I am but just as a friend. Honestly, au contraire to all logic and sense I still like her (perhaps virtually too?? Lol). But I guess the reality of work, family, kid, wife etc is weighing down on me and I cannot afford to be affected again like last time.

.
.
.
Me: ":) I'm a text away if you need me"

Her: "thank you."

I guess I don't have to update anymore dear friends on SBF. unless there's some big unexpected change in events. Really appreciate those who shared their own problems with me. Those who offer support and advice, and those who wanna make friends. stay in touch via PM, I'll be sticking around.

[evildolly]

I dont think the suggestion will work on this type of unreasonable partner as i had try it before......Do you have any more ideas?

Just my 2 cents,

I would assume that the partner was not like that before marriage. Coming from a lady's POV, some women became unreasonable because

1. they were given the opportunity to. In the dating stage, all the woman has to do is just cry and the man melts and say yes to everything.

2. the woman resents the man for not doing something, (not showing TLC, spend too much time on the computer etc)

For number 1, I think it may work if the man threatens to leave. It may shock the woman into knowing that she is not going to win anymore. But of course, there will be a storm. (interrogation, calling of friends, parents to complain etc...). Some men are afraid of what the woman can do. But it is precisely because of this fear that feeds the woman's ego.


For 2, need to dig to find the root of the problem. :)

[AdGuy]

I guess I'll stop the story here. Many bros have advised me that I'm just infatuated with her and it's not worth risking my marriage and young child for someone I haven't even met.


You can be sure you aren't the only one to be in such a situation.

Those who have given you those so called 'healthy advice' are probably single.

You need to be talking to your wife about this problem, but in many cases, talking doesn't solve everything. That's when you start to decide whether you wish to live with your wrong decision.

[goodpartner]

Howdy everyone! Nice breakup song to share :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZPjyWPYP7s

[-SBF-]

I am married with a child. My child is still very young. We got married primarily because she got pregnant and because I love children. My wife and I had been together for more than 3 years when she got pregnant. So we just had a simple wedding and soon my bundle of joy is born.

Definitely. But I decided it must be fate and began planning for the wedding with her and began to do all the things parents do to welcome their child.



You said it; you love ya child and it fated to be together. Then why bother about other girls? You should take good care of them instead of letting her down.

[LeGarcon]

You said it; you love ya child and it fated to be together. Then why bother about other girls? You should take good care of them instead of letting her down.

Dear bro or sis SBF,

I really don't mean to be rude but clearly you haven't read the rest of my story. If things can be so simple, men can just detach themselves from their feelings so easily, divorce lawyers wouldn't have their jobs anymore. Yes of course duty calls for a husband and father to fulfill his responsibilities. But things aren't so simple.

Yes I love kids and fate brought me and wife together, but that does not automatically means that I am 'happily' married with a child.

Extrapolating from your point of 'should' and 'instead of', a gf should be faithful to her bf and not fall for someone else. A student should study instead of playing games the whole day. A dog should bark only when a stranger threatens his owner. But the real world doesn't work that way. If it did there won't be wars nor conflict. I hope you see my point.

Sorry for my rant. In a very very bad mood today.

[iossshee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TE85QI26VE

enjoy the video ... hope you understand cantonese ... ...
lyrics is quite meaningful ...

[-SBF-]

Dear bro or sis SBF,

things aren't so simple.

Yes I love kids and fate brought me and wife together, but that does not automatically means that I am 'happily' married with a child.

Extrapolating from your point of 'should' and 'instead of', a gf should be faithful to her bf and not fall for someone else. A student should study instead of playing games the whole day. A dog should bark only when a stranger threatens his owner. But the real world doesn't work that way. If it did there won't be wars nor conflict. I hope you see my point.

Sorry for my rant. In a very very bad mood today.

Things aren't simple because there is no mutual understanding and trust when problem come they don't solve it. As simple as that!!!

That why nation against nation, humans against humans and so on.

Please accept my humble points, hope it ease ya days!!!

[PRCRammer]

Things aren't simple because there is no mutual understanding and trust when problem come they don't solve it. As simple as that!!!

That why nation against nation, humans against humans and so on.

Please accept my humble points, hope it ease ya days!!!

Bro, I have been reading your posts and i really do have several questions that I hope you can make me understand. TS is talking about marriage issues but I have read and been told you are single, unmarried, childless & look for sugar babies to fulfill your carnal needs. How is it that you are able to advise a married family man on issues that you yourself have ZERO experience on?

[porscheclub]

Dear bro or sis SBF,

I really don't mean to be rude but clearly you haven't read the rest of my story. If things can be so simple, men can just detach themselves from their feelings so easily, divorce lawyers wouldn't have their jobs anymore. Yes of course duty calls for a husband and father to fulfill his responsibilities. But things aren't so simple.

Yes I love kids and fate brought me and wife together, but that does not automatically means that I am 'happily' married with a child.

Extrapolating from your point of 'should' and 'instead of', a gf should be faithful to her bf and not fall for someone else. A student should study instead of playing games the whole day. A dog should bark only when a stranger threatens his owner. But the real world doesn't work that way. If it did there won't be wars nor conflict. I hope you see my point.

Sorry for my rant. In a very very bad mood today.

Damn, this thread is so sweet & sticky like honey :D

Feel like using a sledgehammer to knock some senses out of u!

Basically you're fed-up with your yellow-faced wife @ home & trying to find some holes to distress. How's your bond with your kid now? How's family days? You're not even in dating stage with another woman & your heart is like a butterfly on messages, wait till you get in bed & screw each other's life up.

Get hold of your life, think what you want. Have a serious discussion with wife about what she wants & how you feel. You guys can work together to save it or dump it, for all you know, she might be extremely stressed living with you as well :eek:

Love are plenty out there, got money, got honey. No money & see if your arse is worth anything! The trick is seeing which one is willing to stick with you through poverty. We are living in a money world & this IS the reality. Stop living in dillusion bro.

FYI, @ one stage, I have 4 women calling me laogong! That's a lot of responsibilities you know? Those are not FLs & they've been with me from 1-3yrs while the wife has been 10yrs. 3+1 kids now from two wives.

There's only one thing we cannot control, time. It cannot be rewound so work the best out of it.

Meanwhile, if you want honey pot, there are tons available from $40-unlimited credit you have in this site ;)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Dear bro or sis SBF,

I really don't mean to be rude but clearly you haven't read the rest of my story. If things can be so simple, men can just detach themselves from their feelings so easily, divorce lawyers wouldn't have their jobs anymore. Yes of course duty calls for a husband and father to fulfill his responsibilities. But things aren't so simple.

Yes I love kids and fate brought me and wife together, but that does not automatically means that I am 'happily' married with a child.

Extrapolating from your point of 'should' and 'instead of', a gf should be faithful to her bf and not fall for someone else. A student should study instead of playing games the whole day. A dog should bark only when a stranger threatens his owner. But the real world doesn't work that way. If it did there won't be wars nor conflict. I hope you see my point.

Sorry for my rant. In a very very bad mood today.

Giving in all the time cos u love her is actually quite lame bro n asking for trouble.
But if u said u gave in cos u dun wan trouble or quarrels, then i think it's big of you to do so.
Marriage tat is peaceful is nottin short of givin way & confrontation avoidance.
If the situation is giving u a pressure cooker effect, get ur ass out there n find someone to be ur pressure release valve.
U'll be surprised, u come back smiling n actually bring more +ve energy back to ur environment.
Morally not rite but effect is +ve.
Also, getting permission time off to go drink wif mates, my god, r u a man bro?
No offense but dun u tink u r so small?
Wanna go drink!
She make noise say u run outside find women, ok, bring the gang home to drink!
I feel u r using a 1 way ticket to resolve many issues u hv thus cosing ur head to wanna explode.
Bro, stop thinking PAP n move to the world of outside the box thinking n u will find the key u seek to release u from ur probs!
Sometimes, managing a wife a home is no different from running a biz.

It is good that nottin happened between u n belle, else, she will be ur biggest nightmare.
A troubled man will become reliant on one who gives him comfort & peace.
The 1 thing that destroys families!
An untroubled man in the same situation wud go into it wif a evil grin bro.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Damn, this thread is so sweet & sticky like honey :D

Feel like using a sledgehammer to knock some senses out of u!

Basically you're fed-up with your yellow-faced wife @ home & trying to find some holes to distress. How's your bond with your kid now? How's family days? You're not even in dating stage with another woman & your heart is like a butterfly on messages, wait till you get in bed & screw each other's life up.

Get hold of your life, think what you want. Have a serious discussion with wife about what she wants & how you feel. You guys can work together to save it or dump it, for all you know, she might be extremely stressed living with you as well :eek:

Love are plenty out there, got money, got honey. No money & see if your arse is worth anything! The trick is seeing which one is willing to stick with you through poverty. We are living in a money world & this IS the reality. Stop living in dillusion bro.

FYI, @ one stage, I have 4 women calling me laogong! That's a lot of responsibilities you know? Those are not FLs & they've been with me from 1-3yrs while the wife has been 10yrs. 3+1 kids now from two wives.

There's only one thing we cannot control, time. It cannot be rewound so work the best out of it.

Meanwhile, if you want honey pot, there are tons available from $40-unlimited credit you have in this site ;)

Bro porscheclub, how r u man.
It's been a while.
Good to see ur now a member of the elite few wif a BIG family hehehehe
Welcome to the club;)

[nuclearkid]

Dear bro or sis SBF,

I really don't mean to be rude but clearly you haven't read the rest of my story. If things can be so simple, men can just detach themselves from their feelings so easily, divorce lawyers wouldn't have their jobs anymore. Yes of course duty calls for a husband and father to fulfill his responsibilities. But things aren't so simple.

Yes I love kids and fate brought me and wife together, but that does not automatically means that I am 'happily' married with a child.

Extrapolating from your point of 'should' and 'instead of', a gf should be faithful to her bf and not fall for someone else. A student should study instead of playing games the whole day. A dog should bark only when a stranger threatens his owner. But the real world doesn't work that way. If it did there won't be wars nor conflict. I hope you see my point.

Sorry for my rant. In a very very bad mood today.

Someday, you'll be tired of being discontented with your marriage and will probably just go with the flow if it doesn't end in a divorce. Its not exactly a good thing as we all desire a happy marriage and supportive partner who we can look forward to seeing after a long day's work. Am not exactly saying much here other than suggesting what's potentially next after your disenchantment abates... Sometimes I feel being single, though occasionally lonely, is a simpler life.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Someday, you'll be tired of being discontented with your marriage and will probably just go with the flow if it doesn't end in a divorce. Its not exactly a good thing as we all desire a happy marriage and supportive partner who we can look forward to seeing after a long day's work. Am not exactly saying much here other than suggesting what's potentially next after your disenchantment abates... Sometimes I feel being single, though occasionally lonely, is a simpler life.
The day will come when u grow old n is all alone in a house wif no one but u n then u will know the true meaning of lonely.
Worse, u die alone no one will know till ur neighbours smell ur decomposing stench n hv to call the cops & only then, people will knows u dieded:rolleyes:
Even worst, no one to do arrangements for ur funeral n no one to attend any wake!
Now that's sad to the max.
The decisions we make, dictates the life we live

[-SBF-]

Bro, I have been reading your posts and i really do have several questions that I hope you can make me understand. TS is talking about marriage issues but I have read and been told you are single, unmarried, childless & look for sugar babies to fulfill your carnal needs. How is it that you are able to advise a married family man on issues that you yourself have ZERO experience on?

My grandparents( Both above age of 85) always hold hands and so loving when they are outside or at home.

I learn from them.

[PRCRammer]

My grandparents( Both above age of 85) always hold hands and so loving when they are outside or at home.

I learn from them.

So touching. But then, if you learnt from them, then why you not married have family but instead you
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=286543
You mean to say this is what you learnt????

[thewildone]

So touching. But then, if you learnt from them, then why you not married have family but instead you
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=286543
You mean to say this is what you learnt????

PWN3D! :D

Haha indeed bro, misery loves company. Don't be sorry, I just wanna voice out my pain I don't expect much consolation :) im pretty resigned to my fate. Latest quote from my mum in law: "你上辈子一定是欠了他很多。"

Sad thing is, in this bubble we live where women are too secure by law and convenience and resources, many feel like they have a right to be selfish. I broke off with my ex because I detected such attitudes despite the sweetest relationship of over a year. I felt I did not deserve the arrogance and could not see such a woman being my wife, much less the mother of my children.

I find most of the "talk to your wife" advice here pretty old and cliche. The real person to talk to is a counselor or lawyer, so you can prepare for the worst but not lose your son. I know your son needs a mom. But with this kind of mom, he might grow into a woman-hating man. It's difficult but you have to take steps already. Preparing early never hurt anyone. So you should start recording tangible proof that this woman is not playing her role as wife and mother in case matters turn legal and you need to have custody of the child.

For all you know, your wife sees you taking such steps to protect the interests of the family and might change for the better.

[-SBF-]

So touching. But then, if you learnt from them, then why you not married have family but instead you
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=286543
You mean to say this is what you learnt????

I also been touch by you, follow me so close and dig up my thread. Love you deep deep. How i wish to give you my humble little points but too bad. :D

I have not met the right one how to get married? Anyhow find ah 连 or ah 花 ar? :p

I can do anything as long as i single because i don't own anyone any explanation, but once i got into relationship or having a family i will apply what they taught me. :)

[nuclearkid]

The day will come when u grow old n is all alone in a house wif no one but u n then u will know the true meaning of lonely.
Worse, u die alone no one will know till ur neighbours smell ur decomposing stench n hv to call the cops & only then, people will knows u dieded:rolleyes:
Even worst, no one to do arrangements for ur funeral n no one to attend any wake!
Now that's sad to the max.
The decisions we make, dictates the life we live

That's really ok, if it means I have lived life exactly the way I have wanted, not pandering unnecessarily and not going against my principles. Afterall, I am ultimately accountable to myself and the big guy. If it means I live alone, so be it. Rather that than be with people for the sake of avoiding loneliness, which to me, is sad and insecure.

And it doesn't really matter what happens after I kick it... how my funeral/wake has been conducted. To you, it may be "sad to the max" but to me, irrelevant. Unless someone's gonna send you a Youtube clip in your afterlife, the wake arrangements are inconsequential. A grand funeral, a big turn out, a fancy eulogy... its really for the vain. As the saying goes, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

PS - My apologies to TS here for an off topic post.

[PRCRammer]

i don't own anyone any explanation

Then why you explain so much?

[Ladyrain]

I'm writing this post to remind you ts! 不要转牛角尖. Ok? We look forward.. :)
Jiayou! :o

[porscheclub]

Bro porscheclub, how r u man.
It's been a while.
Good to see ur now a member of the elite few wif a BIG family hehehehe
Welcome to the club;)

Bro! Must buy you a dinner man, when's good?

Thanks for all the tips over the years, you're da man! If anyone wants advice, our BJ bro here is the guy! :)

I'm alright, I think :p Just had a dragon boy with 2nd Mrs & hope mom can accept this!

After all these while, I think life is like a knife, we need to be used & constantly sharpened to perfection. Alright, maybe not the best analogy but you get the drift :o

[porscheclub]

And it doesn't really matter what happens after I kick it... how my funeral/wake has been conducted. To you, it may be "sad to the max" but to me, irrelevant. Unless someone's gonna send you a Youtube clip in your afterlife, the wake arrangements are inconsequential. A grand funeral, a big turn out, a fancy eulogy... its really for the vain. As the saying goes, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

PS - My apologies to TS here for an off topic post.

My dad passed away recently & left a lot of trouble for us. One thing we learnt is whatever you do & if you have kids, please make sure that you have money to settle your own funeral/hospitalisation & don't make your relatives pay for it.

Oh, I have to say that we've not seen him for over a decade. Another trouble he left behind is a foreign wife with a 5yrs old daughter here & no savings.... If you want to screw around, please make sure that you have the means (money) to clear up the shit. MCYS will come after the deceased's family for settlement & will not hesitate to take you to court. Do you know they even threatened to freeze our assets?!

We did not even go to the funeral because once we show up, we'll be faced with a 6 figure hospital bill and nightmares of a stranger knocking on your door for money which is happening to my aunt now.

It is sad to have a desolate funeral but nothing worse than being cursed after death. It's even more bitter not to be able to attend your own parent's wake.

To all of you Romeos out there, "time will heal all pain. Life is short so make the best out of it" :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro! Must buy you a dinner man, when's good?
No worries la bro, it was a pleasure to have been able to assist u to your success.
Ur success is already my trophy, no need makan la:p

Thanks for all the tips over the years, you're da man! If anyone wants advice, our BJ bro here is the guy!
Please please dun say tat, me shy shy:o

I'm alright, I think :p Just had a dragon boy with 2nd Mrs & hope mom can accept this!
Ah congrats stud hur hur hur, shud not be a prob just remember what i tot u abt mental conditioning n all will go ur way ya

After all these while, I think life is like a knife, we need to be used & constantly sharpened to perfection. Alright, maybe not the best analogy but you get the drift
Yes of cos i do, thus the older ginger is the spicier ginger:D

[nuclearkid]

My dad passed away recently & left a lot of trouble for us. One thing we learnt is whatever you do & if you have kids, please make sure that you have money to settle your own funeral/hospitalisation & don't make your relatives pay for it.

Oh, I have to say that we've not seen him for over a decade. Another trouble he left behind is a foreign wife with a 5yrs old daughter here & no savings.... If you want to screw around, please make sure that you have the means (money) to clear up the shit. MCYS will come after the deceased's family for settlement & will not hesitate to take you to court. Do you know they even threatened to freeze our assets?!

We did not even go to the funeral because once we show up, we'll be faced with a 6 figure hospital bill and nightmares of a stranger knocking on your door for money which is happening to my aunt now.

It is sad to have a desolate funeral but nothing worse than being cursed after death. It's even more bitter not to be able to attend your own parent's wake.

To all of you Romeos out there, "time will heal all pain. Life is short so make the best out of it" :D

Thanks for your narrative although its context isn't clear to me. Out of respect for TS and forum etiquette, hope you don't mind that I will leave this here as further discussions will veer off topic.

[Ladyrain]

Porscheclub,

When you were born, do you have $$ to pay your parents for the medical bills incurred? When you can barely fend for yourself when you were just a baby, did he or not behave like your father? He is dead. You are rich. Got money for FL. For gfs, no $$ for your father who gave you life?

And you curse YOUR DECEASED FATHER by saying he is trouble?
You have his traits. You behaved like him too. In fact you had more than just a gf. Let's wait for your family to do the same to you.

In a way, you have proved him right to walk away from you people.
What kind of man who is rich enough for his own pleasures and leisures but no money for his fathers funeral and debts?

[Ladyrain]

It's very easy to be nice to people who are nice to you. Who cannot?
It's basic courtesy.

You want to know who is true? Observe people who treats you nice even though you can do nothing for them. These are the people whom you should treasure.

At the end of the day, it's not about what your family can do for you. It's what YOU can do for them.

He claimed relatives shun them because his family is poor. He should pee and look at himself. He abandoned his last chance to send his father off just because he doesn't want to pay for his debts which he could have easily done so with his wealth. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's a saint. Everybody makes mistakes.

So he is who he was because of what people can do for him?
Wow. What a man. Disgrace to the men.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

It's very easy to be nice to people who are nice to you. Who cannot?
It's basic courtesy.

You want to know who is true? Observe people who treats you nice even though you can do nothing for them. These are the people whom you treasure.

At the end of the day, it's not about what your family can do for you. It's what YOU can do for them.

He claimed relatives shun them because his family is poor. He should pee and look at himself. He abandoned his last chance to send his father off just because he doesn't want to pay for his debts which he could have easily done so with his wealth. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's a saint. Everybody makes mistakes.

So he is who he was because of what people can do for him?
Wow. What a man. Disgrace to the men.
Ladyrain, I can see tat in ur other thread ur not in the best of moods but may i remind u not to jump to baseless conclusions n start making a darn mockery n a laughing stock of urself.
Bro PorcheClub has spelt it out in very simple primary school level english for everyone to see, read & understand but I still cannot figure out how can anyone one, in this case u, read the whole issue out of its actual context

See the whole sage below the way its suppose to be seen in its entirety not the way u choose to see it!

[Ladyrain]

What a boot licker you are for him, do_you_bj.
Are you his clone?
Since you assumed I'm a juvenile and that I'm not talking sense, don't bother reacting to my nonsense.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

PorcheClub said
Oh, I have to say that we've not seen him for over a decade. Another trouble he left behind is a foreign wife with a 5yrs old daughter here & no savings.... If you want to screw around, please make sure that you have the means (money) to clear up the shit.
This statement already spells out very clearly tat his father walked out of his whole family to be wif another woman, neglected his entire family in the process.

LadyRain said
Porscheclub,

When you were born, do you have $$ to pay your parents for the medical bills incurred? When you can barely fend for yourself when you were just a baby, did he or not behave like your father? He is dead. You are rich. Got money for FL. For gfs, no $$ for your father who gave you life?

And you curse YOUR DECEASED FATHER by saying he is trouble?
Did you even read what he posted or in ur very angry deluded cuntfused mind, decided to release all ur rage on him?

PorcheClub said
If you want to screw around, please make sure that you have the means (money) to clear up the shit.
He mentioned it very clearly as an advice to those who wanna play to be responsible for their actions n not let others clear the mess u created?
So wats wrong wif tat?

LadyRain said
You have his traits. You behaved like him too. In fact you had more than just a gf. Let's wait for your family to do the same to you.
But in return for giving advice out to the bros here, u compared him to his father n yet curse him for tat?

We did not even go to the funeral because once we show up, we'll be faced with a 6 figure hospital bill and nightmares of a stranger knocking on your door for money which is happening to my aunt now.

LadyRain said
What kind of man who is rich enough for his own pleasures and leisures but no money for his fathers funeral and debts?
So if ur dad ran off wif another woman had child wif her never had ctc wif u for over 10yrs n kicked the bucket, u will so gallantly pay for all funeral & hospital expenses?

You want to know who is true? Observe people who treats you nice even though you can do nothing for them. These are the people whom you should treasure.
At the end of the day, it's not about what your family can do for you. It's what YOU can do for them.
Ask not what they can give but what you can.
People treat u nice just take
Family just give
These 2 sentences r totally & absolutely contradicting each other.

LadyRain said
He claimed relatives shun them because his family is poor
Pls proof ur claim!
There was no such remark!

He abandoned his last chance to send his father off just because he doesn't want to pay for his debts which he could have easily done so with his wealth.
Y on earth shud he clear the mess his father made?
Afterall, since he already denounced his family for the other woman, shouldn't tat woman be the one handling this issue in question here?

Nobody's perfect. Nobody's a saint. Everybody makes mistakes.
For this last sentence of urs, u sure dun sound like you mean it!

So he is who he was because of what people can do for him?
So r u wat u r now based on ur principle of take take n no need to give like u mentioned here
You want to know who is true? Observe people who treats you nice even though you can do nothing for them. These are the people whom you should treasure.

I feel u crossed the line when u outright cursed someone who meant well n citied examples.

We hv money, we hv many women, we have brains to make n create all our success & we're proud of it.
Do not try to even teach morals to anyone when u r someone who has hands n legs but decided to look for a sugardaddy!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

What a boot licker you are for him, do_you_bj.
Are you his clone?
Wats it u?
If u can't take it, u can always go lick ur many new found friends
Since you assumed I'm a juvenile and that I'm not talking sense, don't bother reacting to my nonsense.
I was told to come see this thread cos i received several phone calls n messages from many senior samsters in this forum, not juveniles, tat someone is plucking shit from the air to try to create a flame war!
Oh ya, it's not nonsense, it's all plain brainless baseless assumptions!

[Ladyrain]

You are joke.
What you are trying to say ultimately is so long as one has money, one can do all kinds of stuffs.

So his dad did only one wrong thing. Being poor and that warrant his son to curse at him. You better remain rich. Lest all your gfs, sugar babes and wives leaves you and cursing you on your deathbed.

Why beat around the bush and write a lengthy post for brainless me?
Oh, so you ain't the only bootlicker for Porscheclub? Wah, so many samsters supporting you ah!
Aiyo
. I'm so scared. I'm a newbie. No supporters. :(
So I must retreat now and say sorry lest I 死无葬身之地.

And sorry brother, they won't even bother with your corpse.
They will continue to curse you after your death.

Oh yes. You give out your number randomly. I Misplaced your number. Your voice sounded very young though.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

You are joke.
Thank u, i was told many a times i had a great sense of humour
What you are trying to say ultimately is so long as one has money, one can do all kinds of stuffs.
WRONG! I am trying to say we made our fortunes by our own 2 hands, not sell our CBs to try to get one!

So his dad did only one wrong thing. Being poor and that warrant his son to curse at him.
Only did 1 wrong thing?
Whether his son or daughter of mother cursed him, what's it to u?

You better remain rich. Lest all your gfs, sugar babes and wives leaves you and cursing you on your deathbed.
Dun worry, my whole family tree 3 generations dun work also won't drop to your level of selling ur CB to make a living!
Why beat around the bush and write a lengthy post for brainless me?
Good that u know u hv not brain.
U shud change ur email from [email protected] to [email protected]
That post was for all to see & to ridicule wat a puny blain u r only.
See, me u different, u assume n tok kok, i prove wat i say
Oh, so you ain't the only bootlicker for Porscheclub? Wah, so many samsters supporting you ah!
People support me 破坏你的风水 is it?
If u can't take it, u can always fuck off from this space.
If u refuse to fuck off from this space, then u lun lun hv to live wif it :D
Aiyo
. I'm so scared. I'm a newbie. No supporters.
So I must retreat now and say sorry lest I 死无葬身之地.
Dun be scared k, dun be, dun scare urself too much bad for health
And sorry brother, they won't even bother with your corpse.
They will continue to curse you after your death.
It's ok, to be cursed in death is better than u rite, to be cursed wif such a fucked up life have to sell your CB n have to live wif it till u die n even in death, u will just be another used piece of meat, dun be too hard on yourself k

Oh yes. You give out your number randomly. I Misplaced your number. Your voice sounded very young though.
Oh yes, I think ur toking abt MinM, ya, very silly mistake of her.
Just this afternoon i asked her if she knew u, she said u were an ok person but i told her to be weary cos ur nottin but an unstable empty shell always seeking advantages and attn.
Before i replied u, i spoke to her again, tks for proving to her i can read a person better than her

[Ladyrain]

No cb like me selling, how you find all your cheebyes at home dude?! No Cbs, where got men in the forum here support you? they come here for penises meh?

Ignore me please. Don't bother with cheebye like me ok?

Yes. I'm attention seeking. You are right for once! So now you are helping to draw attention to me! Yay! Thank you ah!!
:D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

No cb like me selling, how you find all your cheebyes at home dude?! No Cbs, where got men in the forum here support you? they come here for penises meh?
Tk U for admitting that ur a whore lolzzzz whahahahahahaa

Ignore me please. Don't bother with cheebye like me ok?
I find u so irresistibly nice to anal, dunno y i grown so fond of you :D

Yes. I'm attention seeking. You are right for once! So now you are helping to draw attention to me! Yay! Thank you ah!!
:D
Just helping a whore make some living by having more dicks to suck n more sperm to swallow all in the spirit of SBF;)

[Ladyrain]

Minm, I don't blame you for taking sides. I did not for once quoted you.
I don't want to get you involved. If you choose to stand by him, it's your prerogative to do so.

I have never included your existance in our dispute.
I apologised if it made you feel so, I was purely directing at him and Porsche.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Minm, I don't blame you for taking sides. I did not for once quoted you.
I don't want to get you involved. If you choose to stand by him, it's your prerogative to do so.

I have never included your existance in our dispute.
I apologised if it made you feel so, I was purely directing at him and Porsche.
U sure or not??????
Oh yes. You give out your number randomly. I Misplaced your number. Your voice sounded very young though.
Side swipe people now act all innocent 佩服佩服

[esssinine]

Ok lah people, chill, lets all kiss and make up :rolleyes:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

No cb like me selling, how you find all your cheebyes at home dude?! No Cbs, where got men in the forum here support you? they come here for penises meh?

Errrrr, ya!
Hv oso wor lolzzzz wahahahahaha
READ properly first, thankew you very much!

1st: I am a MALE (Yes, gay lah. No, don't worry, will not pokey poke) looking for a young slim/leanfit Chinese boy seeking to earn some small allowance regularly. Preferably 18 to 25 y/o.

2nd: I am not an old ugly guy, I just have a fetish for straight young boys. (don't worry, your arse is safe from alien intrusion)

3rd: It will be a plus for me if u have a gf, so I can chat with u about your sexperience with her. I may even be keen enough to pay for an FL for me to watch u fuck, or pay both u & your gf to watch your show. But I am more looking to have some fun together with you first, heh.

4th: if keen, send your photo, age, height & weight to [email protected] and we can discuss more if I am also keen. Don't msg here, most likely inbox full or will just not reply if u msg me here.
See, not just tok kok, all come wif proof.
Still waiting for yours :D

[Ladyrain]

You gave out your number to sugar babes in the forum here. She recorded the conversation btw the two of you and I got to hear that. :p I don't need to explained myself further to you and don't need you to believe me.

Not gonna continue this saga.
Ts not happy Liao.

Thanks to you, I got many penises to suck Liao!!
Now that I've got my aim, I'm leaving. Thank you!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

You gave out your number to sugar babes in the forum here.
Ah Babygirlzzz i remember now n it's babe not babes
She recorded the conversation btw the two of you and I got to hear that. :p
Good, did u learn a thing or 2 about what i told her to do & not to do if she was gonna be anyone's sugarbabe? Like asking 50k upfront is a big no no??? I don't need to explained myself further to you and don't need you to believe me.
U dun need to, I admit that I spoke to her before & is not ashamed about it, afterall, not like i offered any proposal at all lolzzzzz
Not gonna continue this saga.
Ts not happy Liao.
TS didn't say a thing n now u put words in his mouth n drag him in????

Thanks to you, I got many penises to suck Liao!!
Now that I've got my aim, I'm leaving. Thank you!
Told u liao, all in the spirit of SBF

[HardyNorman]

what a messed up thread. Thank the big man up there I never apply for ladyrain n gang sugarbabe thread otherwise I also tio voice recording :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

原来 Ladyrain is the clone of Babygirlzz
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=285557&highlight=
Kenna zap till -12 still so ya ya now +49pts liao ah lolzzzzzz
Good good hahahaha
I'm Singaporean. .. 31. .
(: no luck. Mostly are not capable enough leh.. Lol. All v poor one. I'm only looking for someone to fund my degree leh. So hard. Haha.. Oh.. V hard to upkeep ourselves hor?
I heard sex helps a lot! Sadly, I haven't been getting any for freaking long!! Hahahahhahahahsshhs! Joking.! Not! :p
What are you doing now? Have you found your sugar or you are just a reader here?
Nope, dnt want to settle yet. :p want to do my degree first. (:
Hopefully lor. One I like, he also like me and he is rich enough to want fund my degree, bring me out for movie.. Sometimes spend time to lunch with me, drink.. Don't just do that thing only lor.. But v hard to find. Most men ask for that kind of thing straight. . Sigh.
I dnt like sleep.. Lol.. Hhahahhaa...
Oh yes, I'm looking for a bf to fund me for my operation for bigger boobs also!!!..
For me to touch myself!! Hahaha hahahaha...
Poor sugar daddy, she gonna find another to overhaul her boobless boobs.
Prepare to wear green hat hor wahahahahaha
Mine is b cup. So small! I dnt like! I want bigger! Size c or d!! Lol.. Then I will look perfect! And degree! Omg. Lol..
For me too, make love. Not sex. He can buy me things, pay for my course.. My daily expenses.. But dnt pay me for sex! I'll be so turn off!! Aiya..

Ladies & gentlemen, boys n gals, heteros n gays, now exposing this piece of shit Ladyrain aka Babygirlzz
Oh for that poor guy who is her so called up n coming sugar daddy, now u know how u r being conned wahahahahahaha
And for those who she call frens, wahahahaha, see how she see u all no up, u all bo lui one, she see u no up ah wahahahahaha
Now u little bitch, not only did i just expose u, i just broke ur rice bowl.
Now u dun eat shit also cannot liao
The Ripple Effect!:D
So nice when ur GF gives u her PW to hv full access to her account n see all the PMs sent, received, friends requests etc and all those phone numbers lolzzzzzzz I like

[Ladyrain]

I m not taking sides, i tried to explain the situation of my understanding in a nice manner , And believe me, i too have my moody moments as a women, and i was just being kaypo just to voice as thinking i should just remind u a lil.. Since i have talked to u before , i consider u as a fren.

Never drink to feel better
Only drink to feel even better
What would ppl comment when a girl got raped because she got herself too drunk? Pity her or saying she deserve it?
I hope u know wat i m trying to say here.

Never post here to feel better
Only post here to feel even better
Because when ur mind is troubled u tend to be not thinking straight
Since u r a local sg i m sure u live there long enough to realised how realistic the society can be, right?
Afterall u have only 30mins to edit ur post and before u edit it someone might have quoted it already.:)
Make love , no war, u n me cant afford to get mad over lil thing, getting wrinkle is fast, getting rid is costly and risky .

I understand. Thank you. . :)

[Ladyrain]

I'm not who you claim I am. Minm spoke to me like how other ladies in the forum did so we chatted abit.
I really don't get it. Why are you so helpful towards mr Porscheclub?
In the first place, I don't even need to read the entire thread to understand why he has to curse his father.

[ZhunBo]

Ladyrain, i can see that you have displayed severe mental disorders based on everything you said and proof exposed about you, and now, you can even say I don't even need to read the entire thread to understand why he has to curse his father liddat I am certain everyone reading can see, it's because of this, you jumped the gun, condemned bro Porcheclub, and all this was done unprovoked and you started hurling curses torwards bro porcheclub and do-you-bj. In all fairness and not taking any sides, you ^ only you are the cause and start of this entire confrontation. Shame on you!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I'm not who you claim I am.
Too late, proven beyond a benefit of a doubt liao
Minm spoke to me like how other ladies in the forum did so we chatted abit.
I hv read everything and i am disgusted at how u manipulate people and hw you despise people who are working hard making an honest living!:o
Even if they're not rich, at least they make an honest living unlike u!
I really don't get it. Why are you so helpful towards mr Porscheclub?
I help people in this forum, and i'm known for that!
He is just one of those countless ones that I've helped.
Not like u, who only know how to take n take, tats y u dun get it n nvr will!
In the first place, I don't even need to read the entire thread to understand why he has to curse his father.
Tats Y u hv proven to everyone ur a brainless moron!
No wonder u can't get a job but need to lelong ur CB.
Guess u really understand the real meaning of cursed now lolzzzz

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Okay....me finally washed up the dishes of last month, my Kimchi was happy and had just returned from a stealth slipped out to a HFJ, hung some flowers to 2 PRC meimeis and back own home :D

Every family has a sad or unpleasant story. Even an upright official is hard to settle a family feud. (家家有本难念的经, 清官难断家务事) :o

孔子 ever said: “子所不欲，勿施于人”、“夫子之道，忠恕而已。”

Simply said: 孔子要我们爱人爱己，爱护公物，做天地间的一个好学生.

仁爱的精神就是爱人若己.
孝道的精神就是爱父母若己.
礼义的精神就是爱全众若己.
仁, 孝, 礼的精神合起来原为一义 - 那就是“爱世界等于爱自己”.
我们用一个“爱”字来建设一生，同时建设和谐世界。

Just what is "孝"？ (Of cos, not to be confused with the Hokkein word: "Siao" which means crazy or mad :D)

孝分三层：孝于天，作天地的孝子. 孝于国, 作国家的孝子. 孝于父母. 我们通常说的孝指孝敬父母, 这很可贵, 同时我们理应知道, 更要做父母的孝子, 这是纯孝,这是大孝, 至极之孝, 也是为人儿女本有之孝.

别把爱错放在妓女 (including siao lang) 身上, 误践自己, 忽视了孝道, 父母之所爱亦爱之, 父母之所敬亦敬之, 孝心是不能等待. Again saying is saying.....As the saying goes: Harmonious family will prosper in all undertakings (俗话说家和万事兴). Relex and chill 吧 ;)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Hi bros, i am fine wif anyone trying to chillax the situation but one just come in here bo gao bo dai curse other people & then me like tat, just bcos she got a cunt so wat?
I am a 认事不认人 person n who the fuck gave this bitch a mouth so fucking smelly even my dog poo smells nicer.
Bro hotstuffm8, i hv spoken to this cunt more than once on the phone, n i am in no way goin to agree wif u on ur perception on this bitch.
Y?
Cos everything about her is ME ME ME ME ME ME ME like the whole mother fucking chee bye world owe her a fucking living.
As long as u do not see her way on any issue, ur wrong.
This is what i call a lost soul, seeing the world the way she wants to see it, not the way as it is!
Like wat my bro LDH always say, this kinda species, fucking wasting our precious oxygen.
Lucky u not PRC singer & bump into me, fucking bitch slap u there n there u also lun lun still hv to say solly then pack up & fuck off home!
Sia Suay singkapolean!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I hv spoken to this bitch more than once n i am in no way goin to agree that this piece of waste has a good heart.
Look at wat she PMed my GF u know liao.
Dunno head dunno tail come here KPKB
Curse me n another bro
People fuck more cunts than u seen dicks wanna teach people how to fuck?
We got money, we got rep, u leh?
31yr old lao goh liao no job looking for people to BY see mee lan sai poon boh
Buay hiao pai seh, lao guay boo come out n sell n wan 50k from people upfront.
Start ur own church la, maybe u too can finally own a penthouse without sucking a dick for once!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Okay....me finally washed up the dishes of last month, my Kimchi was happy and had just returned from a stealth slipped out to a HFJ, hung some flowers to 2 PRC meimeis and back own home :D
Remember i told u she was mental lolzzzzz
OWNED!

[gigigagago]

The eyes choose to see what the mind does.

Actually if we all did read carefully, bro porscheclub explicitly mentioned his dad abandoned the family, was irresponsible for his own actions, and left behind a ton of crap for his original family members.

Personally, I'd never know what's the drive behind Ladyrain's barrage of accusations and name-callings. It could be:

- simple case of misreading
- had issues of her own thus blinded her own judgment
- seriously believed that as long as a parent had a child, the child takes full responsibility for every wrongdoings the parent would do/have done.
- all of the above

Perhaps she could have cut losses if she realised her misread, perhaps she didn't and felt that her replies were just. *shrugs*

I have mentioned in my thread before I come from a dysfunctional family. All I can say is, 做爸爸谁都可以; 当爸爸不一定每个都有资格 (Becoming a father every guy is capable of; being a father not every one is qualified to). Every guy is capable of being a father what - so simple just shoot and fertilise. Which healthy male cannot do that? But being a father is a whole different story. Being a father requires the male to perform to the best of his capabilities for the well-being of his family and children.

Many of my friends looked to their father as their role model. I grew up thinking: "I will never be like my father". Sure, during my formative years I was an angry and delinquent wayward kid. But I learnt resilience, sense of responsibility for my mom and younger sis, empathy for people who are suffering, sense of just and working well under pressure (I do it with a grin). Today, I'm in finance industry, with some small shareholdings in a couple of biz with my childhood friends. I won't say I'm rich, but I'm ready to say I'm fairly comfortable. I also learnt valuable moral values that my friends admire and lacked courage to activate.

Will I use everything in my resources to ensure payback from my dad? No, because that will be plain spiteful. But if he came to me playing the "family" card and demand things from me and my family, just because he contributed his sperm, will I reject him? Yes, and to quote big bro DYBJ: "the choices he made shall dictate the life he leads".

This responsibility thing is what I assume Ladyrain is driving at, and I hope she sees it clearer in a different light, now that I put it into my own history as reference. A contribution of a man's bodily fluid doesn't mean he can abandon his fatherly duties and then later come back to claim what's not rightfully his. The only rightful thing is a name on my birth certificate, or in this case, bro porscheclub's.

This tussle need not turn out ugly. Bro DYBJ even gave Ladyrain benefit of doubt as he "could see that she might not be in the best of moods", and reminded her "not to jump into baseless conclusions". But she came back calling him a "boot-licker". This is all in print. Maybe as a non-juvenile responsibility evangelist, she could read back the exchange and decide how she wants to wrap this up, if she plans to.

IMO, I feel bro porscheclub deserves an apology - not for Ladyrain offering her opinion, but for the unwarranted attacks.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[gigigagago]

Totally agree. Personally, I think we should all chillax.

Anyway, I think you're pretty cool for not letting your bad childhood experiences haunt you. Seems like you've come a long way and overcome numerous adversities. Its rather inspiring that you've carved your niche in life despite the odds. Would have upped you but I think I just did that a couple of days ago lol

Haha thank you, and your words are too kind. Some people with lesser resilience will transfer their anger to other people, inflict pain, cause destruction etc. I never believed in that. ;)

Let's not hijack the thread further. Cheers! :)

[porscheclub]

You are joke.
What you are trying to say ultimately is so long as one has money, one can do all kinds of stuffs.

So his dad did only one wrong thing. Being poor and that warrant his son to curse at him. You better remain rich. Lest all your gfs, sugar babes and wives leaves you and cursing you on your deathbed.

Why beat around the bush and write a lengthy post for brainless me?
Oh, so you ain't the only bootlicker for Porscheclub? Wah, so many samsters supporting you ah!
Aiyo
. I'm so scared. I'm a newbie. No supporters. :(
So I must retreat now and say sorry lest I 死无葬身之地.

And sorry brother, they won't even bother with your corpse.
They will continue to curse you after your death.

Oh yes. You give out your number randomly. I Misplaced your number. Your voice sounded very young though.

Woah! What happened :D

Miss. You've seriously gone bongus! How I wish Bro BJ is a clone! kekeke

Anyway, a brief summary below.

My family was rather wealthy & grandfather was a hunting mate with the old Sultan of Johor. When my dad left us, he took everything and left us in ruins.

Unlike other women, my mother being the 1st wife did not sue for inheritance but chose to singlehandedly brought us up in Singapore where we don't have relatives & she worked hard with integrity. Still, her friends & relatives shunned us for fear that we would borrow money from them. Even her own bro's wife forbid him to visit us!

We grew up in a rented flat. Our clothes, books & toys were 2nd hand, we were bullied by neighbours and classmates because I have no father. Big deal, it only made me stronger & today we did well, bringing fame to the name and ironically, our relatives welcome us now. It's actually a blessing that we grew up poor.

My father was an incorrigible gambler & lost everything within a few years. Borrowed from everyone and even his own siblings stayed away from him. He even used their addresses for loansharks & failed businesses!

Anyway, he suffered a stroke & was warded in ICU for over 2 months with two operations. Which explains the 6 digit bill. We are fine with paying the bill but it is the way our government handles it, coming after us as if we deserted him. Imagine receiving rude letters & calls inquiring our assets, salary etc. Do you know that you are responsible for your parent's bills even if you are illegitimate?

There's more issues but will not bore you people.

I don't curse him, he is my father but we were forced to stay away from his wake as his leftover baggage will give us a lifetime of trouble. Even his own bro, my uncle told us to stay away. You will never know the bitterness of unable to see your own father for the last time even though he never left a good impression.

So ladyrain, before you fire off next time, there is the other side of a coin.

Sorry to TS for causing so much irrelevant posts. But the morale is, if you want to screw around, make sure you bear the responsibilities and have the ability to settle them. Children are priority. Plan far ahead or it'll haunt you decades later.

[porscheclub]

Oh dear, didn't realised so much trouble were created. Bro BJ, please take a chill too. It's no point getting so worked up on forums.

Have a good weekend everybody :)

[Ladyrain]

Good morning.
Thank you for elaborating your side even though it wasn't necessary to begin with especially so when I've been spoilt and blabbering spiteful words before, Porsheclub.

I know now that I do owe you an apology. I openly wrote a nasty post on you so I guess it's only right I openly do an apology to you too.

Dear Porsheclub, I am sorry. Next time, I'll flip to the other side of the coin first! :p

Sorry!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Being an outsider, it's always difficult to make definite statements or to provide definite answers when it comes to matters of the heart cos the heart of the matter is that every family has a sad or unpleasant story and truth is more than just one side of the story. ;) Then again, as every cloud has a silver lining, every sad or unpleasant situation has a positive side to it as well. :D

[Apocalypse]

Sunday devotional: A rainbow is God's promise to man that he will never be angry with man again.

If God is not angry with man about his past, why should you? Let the one that never open legs for money cast the first stone. The thought of opening legs for $ is the same as actually opening legs for $ :D bible call these people pharasies and hypocrites. :p

[PRCRammer]

I am so impressed with Ladyrain or is it Babygirlzz as bro do_you_bj claimed. Down here flame left flame right curse center and then in the other thread
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=294080 can post to the same one she flame and had a confrontation with like nothing even happened?????? I hv read everyones take on this to chillax and all, and personally i feel, Ladyrain shud give formal public apology to bro porcheclub(who is the only one she has apologised to), bro do_you_bj & bro TS for something that was totally uncalled for and absolutely unnecessary flaming plus totally digress away from the thread intentions of TS.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Deal all, one must know when to stop.
But the fact is, some people create a storm & just run.
Why?
As I have mentioned before in my earlier post, this Ladyrain is also the defunct Babygirlzz
Here looking for sugar daddy thread here
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=285557&highlight=
After all the flaming that happened last nite, this mentally disabled piece of trash went to her own thread and posted to me like bo dai ji
1:25am
No. Not at you. Personal issues. :o
1:29am
I can see what you are trying to bring across. But it was exactly what I tried to do. To move on.
and just before she posted this 2 posts, she PM MinM n said this
Dear minm.
I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't realize that you are his friend. Until he spoke about you then I realize your signature.

):

I'm sorry if it got you involved for nothing. If need to be, let me know and I'll see if I can clarify for you publicly.
I dnt like do you bj but doesn't mean I'm judging you.
You are you. He is he.
Sorry.
I have since stopped all postings wif regards to this matter and then she posted this in her other thread after bro PrcRammer posted this to her
TS, i respect you very much. In the other thread you start a flame war like WorldWarIII then you come here talk to the one you had flame war as though nothing happened. POWER:rolleyes:
And her reply I already damn toolan but i still control
对事不对人. Period.
Until she PM MinM who just told me then tats it & this was the PM she sent to MinM
I'm glad that you are ok. 我对事不对人. He is judging me for that matter. I don't care what others think because I have no control. If you care enough, you will ask me more. There will always be morons who will try to put me down for the sake of it.
and I definitely cannot respond to every single one of them, right? :p
I don't usually react to negativity. (:

Thank you..

Have a good week dear
If this is not called a declaration of war, I really dun know wat to say.

Dear Babygirlzz aka Ladyrain, this is my last post to you.
I will not stoop so low to interact wif mentally challenged people, but i speak for myself only :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Oh dear, didn't realised so much trouble were created. Bro BJ, please take a chill too. It's no point getting so worked up on forums.

Have a good weekend everybody :)
Bro u noe me la, this kinda of little ant, how to tickle people like u or me lolzzzz

[NinLaoBeh]

I'll flip to the other side of the coin first!
You just flip over let us fuck your kar chng kang. How much for AJ?

[Loving_Dickhead]

Siang kar pager... :)
LDH lai liaoz!


Like wat my bro LDH always say, this kinda species, fucking wasting our precious oxygen.


Its always lonely at the top, bro DYBJ, when oxygen super thin. We have been taught to maintain minimum oxygen usage. Hahaha!
Super sianz until our bro O?????l told me about me tio pager call.

But then hor then hor, in every aspects, you and bro PorscheClub are too nice to bacteria and germs sometimes.
The cunt juices you guys enjoyed, possibly can fill up a neighborhood store supplies of Evian mineral water bottles.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Siang kar pager... :)
LDH lai liaoz!

Lao di, her backup comes liao, her darling flame clone Feee has appeared after quite a while of hibernation.
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=7409822&postcount=42
Clone support clone, damn fucking funny sia

[Loving_Dickhead]

Lao di, her backup comes liao, her darling flame clone Feee has appeared after quite a while of hibernation.
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=7409822&postcount=42
Clone support clone, damn fucking funny sia

NB, all these clones not freaking dead yet? :D


.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

NB, all these clones not freaking dead yet? :D


.

Looks like boss sam's net got to do some mending obviously SOME got away

[Feee]

looks like boss sam's net got to do some mending obviously some got away

You need to agree that money rules tio bo after what happen to you . :D

But still keeping my last piece of respect for you . So Better aga aga Tio ho . Mai GEi Kiang . :D

[LeGarcon]

And... Dafuq happened here man...

Hey dudes chill la wah lau. My thread now suddenly viewership going up hahahahah

To clear up a little ladyrain didn't put words in my mouth, she PM'ed me to tell me there's some war happening here I was miffed but didn't see the whole fracas here.

It's the weekend bros, don't let a small thing here ruin it. I appreciate the bros and sisters who posted here encouraging me and offering their advice, really. Now do me a favor and lets move on from here yeah?

Cheers and have a great week ahead :)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

But still keeping my last piece of respect for you . So Better aga aga Tio ho . Mai GEi Kiang . :D
Agree on ur last statement.
Mai geh kiang!
Bo ji use real nick kee hong kun
Use clone nick come here stand up for whore
Lin Lao Beh never teach you the meaning of lao kui is it
Sia Suay:D
I give face to TS and my darling's constant nagging to stop me from posting here, will not engage in this thread anymore.
Tata~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Feee]

Agree on ur last statement.
Mai geh kiang!
Bo ji use real nick kee hong kun
Use clone nick come here stand up for whore
Lin Lao Beh never teach you the meaning of lao kui is it
Sia Suay
I give face to TS and my darling's constant nagging to stop me from posting here, will not engage in this thread anymore.
Tata~~~~~~~~~~~~

THOUGHT YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GET NEGATIVE POINTS 2 WEEKS AGO WHEN GET CAUGHT PLAYING WITH CLONES ? :p

IF YOU WANT TO SAY LAO KUI , THEN LET ALL OTHERS INCLUDING YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDS BE THE JUDGE . :D

AND LASTLY AGAIN , I DON'T NEED TO STOOP SO LOW LIKE YOU TO AND PLAY WITH CLONES . :D

PLEASE WAKE UP , ALREADY YEAR 2012 STILL SO CHILDISH . :eek:

TATA TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Loving_Dickhead]

Sorry, am I missing something?
DYBJ was -665 previously and now he is like +669. If this is so true, then bloody hell he must have gazillions of clones working for him. He would need 1334 points siah... omg! :D

THOUGHT YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GET NEGATIVE POINTS 2 WEEKS AGO WHEN GET CAUGHT PLAYING WITH CLONES ? :p

IF YOU WANT TO SAY LAO KUI , THEN LET ALL OTHERS INCLUDING YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDS BE THE JUDGE .

AND LASTLY AGAIN , I DON'T NEED TO STOOP SO LOW LIKE YOU TO AND PLAY WITH CLONES .

PLEASE WAKE UP , ALREADY YEAR 2012 STILL SO CHILDISH . :eek:

TATA TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[zunbo]

The story started well till the last few pages. What has happened? :confused:

[cheryl]

I wana know what happened now too.

[PRCRammer]

Why so lazy? Just read back a bit know already but now since half time with Spain 2 Italy 0, I will quote the best summary of events from bro gigigagago The eyes choose to see what the mind does.

Actually if we all did read carefully, bro porscheclub explicitly mentioned his dad abandoned the family, was irresponsible for his own actions, and left behind a ton of crap for his original family members.

Personally, I'd never know what's the drive behind Ladyrain's barrage of accusations and name-callings. It could be:

- simple case of misreading
- had issues of her own thus blinded her own judgment
- seriously believed that as long as a parent had a child, the child takes full responsibility for every wrongdoings the parent would do/have done.
- all of the above

Perhaps she could have cut losses if she realised her misread, perhaps she didn't and felt that her replies were just. *shrugs*

I have mentioned in my thread before I come from a dysfunctional family. All I can say is, 做爸爸谁都可以; 当爸爸不一定每个都有资格 (Becoming a father every guy is capable of; being a father not every one is qualified to). Every guy is capable of being a father what - so simple just shoot and fertilise. Which healthy male cannot do that? But being a father is a whole different story. Being a father requires the male to perform to the best of his capabilities for the well-being of his family and children.

Many of my friends looked to their father as their role model. I grew up thinking: "I will never be like my father". Sure, during my formative years I was an angry and delinquent wayward kid. But I learnt resilience, sense of responsibility for my mom and younger sis, empathy for people who are suffering, sense of just and working well under pressure (I do it with a grin). Today, I'm in finance industry, with some small shareholdings in a couple of biz with my childhood friends. I won't say I'm rich, but I'm ready to say I'm fairly comfortable. I also learnt valuable moral values that my friends admire and lacked courage to activate.

Will I use everything in my resources to ensure payback from my dad? No, because that will be plain spiteful. But if he came to me playing the "family" card and demand things from me and my family, just because he contributed his sperm, will I reject him? Yes, and to quote big bro DYBJ: "the choices he made shall dictate the life he leads".

This responsibility thing is what I assume Ladyrain is driving at, and I hope she sees it clearer in a different light, now that I put it into my own history as reference. A contribution of a man's bodily fluid doesn't mean he can abandon his fatherly duties and then later come back to claim what's not rightfully his. The only rightful thing is a name on my birth certificate, or in this case, bro porscheclub's.

This tussle need not turn out ugly. Bro DYBJ even gave Ladyrain benefit of doubt as he "could see that she might not be in the best of moods", and reminded her "not to jump into baseless conclusions". But she came back calling him a "boot-licker". This is all in print. Maybe as a non-juvenile responsibility evangelist, she could read back the exchange and decide how she wants to wrap this up, if she plans to.

IMO, I feel bro porscheclub deserves an apology - not for Ladyrain offering her opinion, but for the unwarranted attacks.

[PRCRammer]

And... Dafuq happened here man...

Hey dudes chill la wah lau. My thread now suddenly viewership going up hahahahah

To clear up a little ladyrain didn't put words in my mouth, she PM'ed me to tell me there's some war happening here I was miffed but didn't see the whole fracas here.

It's the weekend bros, don't let a small thing here ruin it. I appreciate the bros and sisters who posted here encouraging me and offering their advice, really. Now do me a favor and lets move on from here yeah?

Cheers and have a great week ahead :)

Bro so sorry i must have missed your post but there is something you wrote that caught my attention

To clear up a little ladyrain didn't put words in my mouth, she PM'ed me to tell me there's some war happening here
But what she posted was
Not gonna continue this saga.
Ts not happy Liao.
Now i understand. She PMed you to pull her out of the fire she started. Like I said to her in her thread, POWER!
This woman is absolutely morally amazing

[LeGarcon]

Seriously. Pls start another thread if you wish to quarrel and discuss how 'morally amazing' someone is.

Hope you guys can understand.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[nuclearkid]

Sorry, am I missing something?
DYBJ was -665 previously and now he is like +669. If this is so true, then bloody hell he must have gazillions of clones working for him. He would need 1334 points siah... omg! :D

Your impressions may not necessarily be the actual case. Refer to points 8-10 here (http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=1693609&postcount=1). Moderation is simply enforced by placing a negative sign in front, easier to track. Once moderation period expires, negative sign is removed. I stand to be corrected on this and that's based on my observation after having been placed under moderation some moons back.

In your example above, 665 became -665 upon moderation. After expiration, back to 665 and an additional 4 points were further bestowed by other forummers. Final figure of 669 is attained with merely a +4 after moderation.

So my point is, you don't need that many clones. Just one with 4 points will do. :D Hence, Feee has not been proven wrong and s/he has valid suspicions there.

PS - My apologies again, bro LeGarcon. Paiseh paiseh, am contributing to the drivel count here. But I thought I would share something not evident to those who have never been moderated before.

[Ladyrain]

I am only apologetic towards Porscheclub for my spiteful blabbers and wrongful attacks and towards Legardon for digressing away from his thread's topic.

I wasn't trying to "friend friend" that itchy penis. I was simply referring to his post to my post and responding to my thread.

Yes. I was bad mouthing about that itchy penis when I REPLY to Minm whenever she drop me a pm first. What I didn't realize was that itchy penis will pry into it again and again and publicly show private messages out in the public which is distasteful. I could have jollywell done the same but sorry never my style.

I can also go on and continue arguing but ultimately I don't see the point because like I told minm, there will be morons lurking around.

I have my own thread. If they want to continue their nonsense, bring it over to my thread. I started the blabber, I refuse to let it continue over here. That will do ts a big injustice for his thread.

I said ts not happy meaning " he sees this thing started by me, will get unhappy about it" please lah. Educated people don't need me to specifically type out every single word like for a primary school kid who is learning English to understand what I'm trying to bring across.

And yes, I told Hotstuffm8, if that itchy penis dare to slap me, I DARE to kick his itchy penis too. :p

And yes, itchy penis, don't pretend to "disappear" and bring in your clones.
It's really very obvious to the public when you do that. :D

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

.....indeed I am mindfucked. This relapse isn't exactly a relapse. She has always been on my mind. Don't even know how I survived the past weeks. On one hand I'm handling my wife's sloth. On the other I'm debating whether to text belle again and try my luck.

I have spoken to some people online after this episode. I guess I'm in this rut cos I'm not looking to replace her. Normally I don't get this attached to online chatters. So i guess she really is someone special to me (of cos, it's my own POV, she probably has already buried my name away). So no, I'm not chatting online anymore.

We hit off quite well, my online friend, let's call her Belle. Over a few days we exchanged messages, talked about music, we talked about everything (except for sex, i steered clear of that). We clicked pretty well, she handled my kind of humor and she reciprocated. It's like I found my soulmate. Note that she wasn't the only one I talked to, I sent messages to other girls as well but they did not make any impact on me. I was sending her messages with the subtlest of sarcasms and she returned my shot with a barb of her own. It was like having conversational tennis.

A little update:

Somehow I texted her out of the blue, when I was smoking downstairs at the carpark. It was past midnight and I was just back from meeting some uni friends. I told her, "I wouldn't expect any reply but hey take care of yourself" locked the phone n put in my pocket

Suddenly the phone beeped, "Why do you keep on trying if you know I might not reply?"

I was very shocked. I didn't know what exactly to say in reply.

I swear I really didn't have time to think and this is probably the most stupid answer anyone could come up with. "cos I'm irritating." seriously wtf right.

Sobering up a bit, I added, "or maybe I'm genuinely concerned."

Her: "hhmm. Ok."

We've started talking again but now it's more like I'm providing her my virtual shoulder and virtual ear. My texts don't get replies most of the time unless she needs to talk about her problems. Am I sad about this? Yes I am but just as a friend. Honestly, au contraire to all logic and sense I still like her (perhaps virtually too?? Lol). But I guess the reality of work, family, kid, wife etc is weighing down on me and I cannot afford to be affected again like last time. .
.
.
Me: ":) I'm a text away if you need me"

Her: "thank you."

I guess I don't have to update anymore dear friends on SBF. unless there's some big unexpected change in events. Really appreciate those who shared their own problems with me. Those who offer support and advice, and those who wanna make friends. stay in touch via PM, I'll be sticking around.

No offense.

There is a big difference between a personal friend and a social network site friend cos being a friend online doesn't make that person into a real friend. At the end of the day, the myriad benefits and opportunities that an online social network provides is only to serve as an escape from some of the stress troubling realities of life. For example, Sammyboyforum for sex trouble and sex stress :D

I think you answered your own question. You fall in love with a fantasy that incorporates all the traits you believe this person to have, and you throw in a few more qualities that you admire just to make the deal sweeter! You imagine her to be perfect for you! It is, of course, pure fantasy. Is it falling head over heels or found a soulmate? ......................Nay.......Far from it.....She's just a souless virtual dreammate, that's all.

In layman's terms: When I am sian and bo-liao, I clik on you, I hi-hi you, I friend-friend you, I talk cock sing some songs, you talk pussy sing some choruses, fun-fun me and fun-fun you :p

We fall in love with a whole person after we've experienced both their good sides and bad. It is okay to seek fun and fantasize. Just don't confuse fantasy with reality, and don't spend so much time with fantasy that you have no real, tangible relationships. Time to get real and solve some reallife problems. What's online stays online. Just move on and it is meaningless to cling on this "More harm than good fantasy" cos you will get hurt and mess up your marriage life . Good luck and cheers ;)

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[Thai Rak Thai]

hope to see continue of story

[M1N1Ster]

TS, my predicament is also sama sama with u ... i fell in love with someone too but just could not help it... the other party cant accept that I am married too...
cut whole story short.... we decided we not going to have a future together... so we sort of pull the plug...

bro, cut before u are more deeply in love with that someone...

that's life... some things in life... we will never have...

[iMonk]

I fell in love with almost every girl i met online. What's wrong with the girls nowadays? Always stay online and neber go out to beautify the streets?

bro, be careful... there are lots of sex maniac around who like to play Master Mind games :D

[cablesnwires]

Wow, been MIA for so long, and the first thread that i see is this. Anyway, LeGarcon, good luck in your road to recovery.

[LeGarcon]

Wow bros and sistas, I haven't looked back at my thread for a while. Quite surprised to see it still alive. Thanks for the PMs and encouragement I still receive every now and then.

Belle had some issues and is now finally back together with her bf. prior to that I had been her virtual shoulder, her support. When she needed to let things out she would text me. I would text her to make sure she was ok, while I was balancing a new job, my wife's sloth and a whole lot personal problems.

So belle finally cleared things up with the bf n the last msg from her was almost a month ago. Said she was with her bf and requested I not text her cos her bf wouldn't like it and would text me when she could. The exact last MSG reads, "will text you when i can, don't reply". And.......... That's it. Oh well. I haven't texted her since and from the updated whatsapp profile (the new version that allows us to use our own pics on our profiles) she's very happy now with her bf.

Will she remember the guy who was deeply concerned with her well-being ("i can't thank you enough for being there for me..." she said). Don't think so. Would she even think of the guy who clicked on an intimate and intellectual level with her? Don't think so.

So guys, don't be a fool for someone whom you haven't met. Nice guys don't get appreciated. Been a nice guy for 30 over years and what do I get? Oh well.

Contrary to what many have mentioned, I have tried to make things improve in my marriage but I guess theres only so much I can do. My only wish is for my kid to grow up healthily. And bros please don't try and tell me to work on it yadda yadda. I appreciate it. But really some things are not meant to be. I'm fucking sick and tired but I'm trudging on for the sake of my kid. I'll concentrate on my career n concentrate on earning that first million and shall care less about other things.

To Maseratis and Porsches that we are all aiming for, to the nice men who provided shoulders for women to cry on only to be ditched like a doormat. To the guys who have to deal with crap in their marriage. To the ppl here who have given me encouragements and valuable advice. Thank you.

[Ladyrain]

Nice girls, nice wives. They don't get appreciated too. :(

[LeGarcon]

They do. Just haven't met the right one to appreciate them yet.

[nacal]

bro, chanced upon this thread while watching Olympics. I'm married too with a kid 1.5 yr old. Last yr for some reason i got too attached to 1 thai FL, felt too comfortable with here i guess.

During her last week in spore, i will buy singha beer for her and try to book her last session for the day so i can stay overnite with her. I will bring my laptop for her so she can log in to her FB and keep in touch with her family. Her little sis knows wat she's doing in spore but not her mother.

From first overnite with her onwards, it's not about physically but emotional. I look forward for her company (who wouldnt, young syt who has to work in this line becoz she's poor). Even after she goes back to thailand, i added her as a fren using separate account in FB and i browsed her status update and msgs daily hoping to see her reply.

As time goes on, frequency drops and slowly i don even log in anymore. Bro i think this will happen to you too no worries, it won last. After that i've been thinking why/what happened to me. It can be anybody, it does not have to be her., it can be someone like her (there are at least 100k out there). It is the feeling that i am seeking, good news is it nv last. hehe.

Of coz, i still love my wife very much, even then and now. That time i just want to try what it is like. I nv had paid sex bfore marriage. My wife's still good, just a bit lazy who keep complaining to want to quit her job.

And bro, if u would allow some feedback.... From what you have described,and if it's not talked from spur of emotion-> "I'm fucking sick and tired but I'm trudging on for the sake of my kid. I'll concentrate on my career n concentrate on earning that first million and shall care less about other things".

What i feel is, this might not be the most healthy way to approach this. You are just tolerating and it will explode. Your dominant thoughts, the way you act and talk, your kid will absorb everything. In view of this, hope you will feel the urgency to do something..

1st, forget about your wife. You cannot change her. Forget about changing her for now. She can only help herself, accept that it's out of your control for now.

2nd, You're sick and tired mentally, because of unrealistic expectations of your wife. If.. if you can lower your expectation of her a little bit, you will feel more relaxed.

3rd. Acknowledged that your are selfish if you seek appreciation from your wife. Real selfless intent do not harbour such strong appreciation wants, like doing charity work for the disabled? Do you expect them to thank you with tears in their eyes, no right?

lastly.. it's all in the mind bro.. you can do the housework with a smile or with a sour face. You can choose to.. really. it's the thoughts "why is she not helping bla bla bla, why why why am i doing this" that is the culprit. Cut down on such thoughts.

Bro this is the best i could muster for now.. coz im still training. remember that this is for the good for your kid. You would want your home to be warm and not full of quarrels. You cannot change your wife, you can only change yourself. If you really can achieve this.. it's the best present to your child.

I sense that you are the more giving party to the relationship. It's tough, persevere for your kid. :)

own nagging: Now i do the sweeping/mopping of floor. I also do all the cooking, and i started to learn baking bread and cakes. My wife just eats and sometimes help to clean the dishes (she nv cooks, at the start she cannot even start the stove properly). Sometimes i do get angry, but not at my wife coz i don expect her to help. I get angry at the bread dough and my own clumsiness, and the hot weather.

[iossshee]

Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on Fire.
3. If one of you has an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
7. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
8. At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your Life's partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for Forgiveness.
10. It takes 2 to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.

[Greatking]

Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on Fire.
3. If one of you has an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
7. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
8. At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your Life's partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for Forgiveness.
10. It takes 2 to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.

One sentence enough.
Learn the art of stepping back and giving in. The Art of Blissful Marriage is being understanding for the sake of Love and Commitment.

[cocacola2012]

Wow bros and sistas, I haven't looked back at my thread for a while. Quite surprised to see it still alive. Thanks for the PMs and encouragement I still receive every now and then.

Belle had some issues and is now finally back together with her bf. prior to that I had been her virtual shoulder, her support. When she needed to let things out she would text me. I would text her to make sure she was ok, while I was balancing a new job, my wife's sloth and a whole lot personal problems.

So belle finally cleared things up with the bf n the last msg from her was almost a month ago. Said she was with her bf and requested I not text her cos her bf wouldn't like it and would text me when she could. The exact last MSG reads, "will text you when i can, don't reply". And.......... That's it. Oh well. I haven't texted her since and from the updated whatsapp profile (the new version that allows us to use our own pics on our profiles) she's very happy now with her bf.

Will she remember the guy who was deeply concerned with her well-being ("i can't thank you enough for being there for me..." she said). Don't think so. Would she even think of the guy who clicked on an intimate and intellectual level with her? Don't think so.

So guys, don't be a fool for someone whom you haven't met. Nice guys don't get appreciated. Been a nice guy for 30 over years and what do I get? Oh well.

Contrary to what many have mentioned, I have tried to make things improve in my marriage but I guess theres only so much I can do. My only wish is for my kid to grow up healthily. And bros please don't try and tell me to work on it yadda yadda. I appreciate it. But really some things are not meant to be. I'm fucking sick and tired but I'm trudging on for the sake of my kid. I'll concentrate on my career n concentrate on earning that first million and shall care less about other things.

To Maseratis and Porsches that we are all aiming for, to the nice men who provided shoulders for women to cry on only to be ditched like a doormat. To the guys who have to deal with crap in their marriage. To the ppl here who have given me encouragements and valuable advice. Thank you.

hey bro, it should be a happy ending by now, and wish you all the best, should really put in more efforts on your family, or you might heard before, "woman is made of water", try to touch her the way before you two married. hope things work.

[Ladyrain]

Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on Fire.
3. If one of you has an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
7. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
8. At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your Life's partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for Forgiveness.
10. It takes 2 to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.

This is classic ESP 4, 6 8 and 9.
:)

[Botakhead]

Nice girls, nice wives. They don't get appreciated too. :(

You have been hurt badly? :o

[MountainTurtle]

bro, be careful... there are lots of sex maniac around who like to play Master Mind games :D

Orh mi tou fou, 山龟，from 少林寺 reports and greet Imonk.

Even if a nymphomanic that comes along playing "master mind games" please don't take it as a weakness, conquer it and be the player on the player.
*YAWN*
Crawling back to my cave and sleep, the stars from my mountain are so bright tonight. Have to wake up 8.30am tomorrow and do my morning prayer.*yawn*.

[I.m.Jim]

Rules for a Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on Fire.
3. If one of you has an arguement, let it be your mate.
4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
7. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
8. At least once everyday try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your Life's partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for Forgiveness.
10. It takes 2 to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.

To sum it all up! Don't take each other for granted, because a relationship is a never ending upkeep from start of relation to marriage to sharing a life together with kids.