I am still wif HIM....

[Blue_gal]

it had been like almost 3 yrs...in the end i still wif HIM....the feeling is different now ...

when we started it supposed to be just LUST, in the end there is feeling...
as time goes by, i ended the 'game' as i dun wanna to hurt another woman's heart and the family....
i have tried to forget about him and started a new serious r/s .......but knn all PRICK wanna the "new generation" type of r/s = MUST TRY PUSSY then start feeling... well i am sick of such "new generation" r/s... so as long as PRICK ask for PUSSY, i ask him go home 'drill HOLES"

in between the 3 years, we broke off like 2 times ...there was once we didn't meet up for abt 2 months....

in the end we are together again...but this time the feeling is very different...

We dun just meet up for LUST, in state we spend time together...i am enjoying his accompany and I dun know am i falling into "DEEPER" SHIT this time! sometime I will rather not meeting single guy and go dinner with him... and when going out movies with other guys, i am scared to bump into him...

but i always tell him that i will leave him ONE DAY for sure as I will not agree to break his family.....

damn why it is so hard to find someone RIGHT for you.. and when u found tat person HE is married! PUI! :(

[ady9913]

Hi.....

Sad and sorry for you....

Hope you will find the right guy for you.....

For a start.... you can intro more of ur self.....Im sure there are eligible samster.... for you....

U jus got to look more deeper.....

Good luck.....

[Gerald Tan]

Hi Blue Gal...
Its been a long time since u participated in sammyboys FR...now, i have seen you here..glad to know that u are still kicking alive in this forum....
Have u forgotten your mantra..ONce A BItCH ALwayS A BitCH!~"
So, i would advice u to enjoy while your "delicious well have some juicy left"..hehe

I guess we all can't help u much except to console u and encourage u to enjoy sexperience life to the fullest...but whatever it is, even if u have to leave him..we are all still around to make your day 'happy'..just pm anyone of us...best rgd

[goodpartner]

damn why it is so hard to find someone RIGHT for you.. and when u found tat person HE is married! PUI! :(



Do you usually try to find out the marital status of the men you date before you 2 get to the stage where "you know he is the RIGHT person"? :rolleyes:

I bet at least for this case, you knew he was married before going further with him, and got yourself into this "SHIT" now. So your statement that "when u found tat person HE is married!" does not apply here; since he is married before you found him - not the other way round ;)

And if you often find that married men are taken, here's a quote which may explain why:

Studies now indicate that it is not that married men are inherently better but rather women judge them to be better than single men. Being married gives an "attractive factor" to men.
So why do women perceive married men to be better than single men?

By using photographs of men and adding a label of married or single, women were asked to choose the more attractive men. They chose those labeled married more often than those labeled single. Woman flirting with man

Women are more sensitive to the choices made by other women i.e. a married man has already been chosen as a suitable mate by at least one other female and this man has indicated by getting married that he wishes a long term relationship. For women, these are desirable traits in a man.

Across species women carry the reproductive burden. They have a greater investment generically in reproduction through pregnancy and lactation. Males generically are limited by the availability of females.

Because of this, females tend to be the choosier sex as choosing the wrong mate harms the female's reproduction investment more than the male's. To choose the right mate, females must use environmental cues and at least one of those cues is the selection of a mate by another female.

Also read this article about Love Stopper:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Love-Stoppers---Good-Men-Are-All-Married-Or-Gay&id=4217519

[Blue_gal]

For a start.... you can intro more of ur self.....Im sure there are eligible samster.... for you...... thanks but no thanks am Not looking for MAN frm here...its a sex siteeeeee
Just to bitch abt stuffs....


So, i would advice u to enjoy while your "delicious well have some juicy left"..hehe
Tat is diff between MAN n WOman.."HE" will only rest till the day "HE" stop workingggg but for "HER" there is a time where "SHE" only wants to DO with the special "HIM"...no of time is nt important but the moment is sweet...
I was once young I can Fark like rabbitss but now once a month..cos he is marriedman eachtime there is guilty feeling.... it's just me...


I bet at least for this case, you knew he was married before going further with him, and got yourself into this "SHIT" now. So your statement that "when u found tat person HE is married!" does not apply here; since he is married before you found him - not the other way round ;)
And if you often find that married men are taken..u are rite half half only...i only know he is married after a while...we started of becos of LUST only...he was the 1st man I started to go out with after I dumped blue uncle for 7 yrs.
SEx is a drug once u hv started to hv it.. U will want it more...tat is the reason I dun date anymore after blue uncle ... But I met him....n we started LUST... But now it's nt abt LUST we spend time doing other things together...n share abt our life...
I wan him as my best friend...but seem like nt possible...I can feel he love me.. N I hv feeling for him...
U re rite abt marriedman more attractive ...his care for his family..is want I wish to have but I can't hv
It....
I hv make it clear to him tat I will leave him one day n he accept it.....but I dun know I will let go when.... :(

[vietnam80]

sorry to hear that he is married and yet u like him so much.... Have u tried asking him or did u really feel how or what he see u as..??

[jf66312]

hi blue gal ,

am sad to hear what you are going through...cant advise you much but here are some words for you which i hope can sooth your heart..

Dun judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall. "The HAPPIEST people DONOT necessarily have the BEST of all. They simply APPRECIATE what they find on their way”

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later...

cheers & take care!

[NewMike1304k]

Dear Sis,

I am glad that you accept the fact that this is a sex site and you should not be looking for good men here. As for having a relationship with a married man, I am glad that you understand that it will end in grief for a lot of parties in the end.

True love is a weird and crazy thing. Though you know it is not right, you still yearn for it. I know how it feels because I was also attached when I fell in love with another woman. But you know something? It may be painful, but you have to do the "right" thing. There are 2 choices, be the perfect bitch and if he really loves you and you love him, then ask him to leave his family and be with you. After all, if it is true love... why not? Or if you truly love him and want him to be happy, then the other choice is to leave him and let him go back to his family.

But it takes 2 hands to clap and if he wants to makan outside and yet have a family, then he is truly a cad and should be put into his place. For there is nothing more sacred than the love one has for his family. Once he has broken this sacred trust, he can break all other rules too. If you are game to play along, then so be it lor. You do not have to moan about it lor.

So the end of the story is what you want out of it. Just like many guys who come here moaning about how they love WL and so on, it is the same, they do not know what they want.

I wish you luck lah.

[Black_Hawk_Up]

chance are he is using you as a sex object with girlfriend feeling.

it not easy and you might never be able to do let go until it too late(his wife found out). from your posting it seem you do not want that to happen. but deep down inside do you have a little part in you wishing that will happen?

anyway, it not an easy situation to get out once feeling is involve. wish all the best for you and hope all of you can find a better solution.

[goodpartner]

U re rite abt marriedman more attractive ...his care for his family..is want I wish to have but I can't hv
It....

There are 2 choices, be the perfect bitch and if he really loves you and you love him, then ask him to leave his family and be with you. After all, if it is true love... why not?

...Once he has broken this sacred trust, he can break all other rules too.

Unfortunately, the irony here is that if this married man can forsake his family for another women (be it REAAAALLY "true love"), then it'll take away that desirable trait where "he cares for his family" - obviously then he don't :rolleyes:

There will ALWAYS be someone out there a better lover and match than you - there is no end to cultivating more "true love" with another without a commitment to stop at the first.

Here's the link again for thoughts:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Love-Stoppers---Good-Men-Are-All-Married-Or-Gay&id=4217519

Plenty of single men out there who can possess that trait. Perhaps even divorce man, who already showed this "family" trait where the divorce is not due to infidelity issues.

Oh, btw, players who are eating out are well aware of this women instinct on seeking "men who cares for family" and use exactly that to bait fish like you; that could be the very reason why he managed to keep you as a no-string FB. Of coz, you're not an 18yo I can lecture about this obvious fact, he must have possessed other traits that you like too, and which you've decided to be of worth the risk and fun. ;)

Do you love the feeling of falling in love? I do :D

[jp18]

Absolutely agree with goodpartner.. Sis, you are facing a guy who knows just the way to play this game and he has gotten you right where he wanted. If you're happy and like it this way, just enjoy each other company while it lasts.. :)

[Aviator]

Hey Sis,
The reality is all the pretty women are married and all the handsome guys are gay. ronin willaim say so not i say.:D

[uobboss]

Well sis u treading in dangerous waters .

If u want him 100% for urself ask him to divorce his wife and give him time frame .
If u want to remain as mistress/PTL juz hope he will not get tired of you or affair found out and wife force him to choose .

If u know who he will choose between u and wife u will know wat u wanna do .

[bleuwings]

Agreed, things can get pretty messy and ugly. Should try to settle tis well so u can move on, with or without him.....

[kevin28]

If he really has good intention for you he would want the best for you so he should let you go and meet someone that you will be able to start a family with. He is just taking advantage of the situation and wants the best of both worlds. If you continue and his wife finds out you would have ruin many lives so please leave him ASAP.

This is just my humble opinion.

[kwaychup]

Hey sis,
reading on your current situation now,
seems that your pretty confused abt your feelings too
based on my past r/s with women, it's totally impossible to stay as best friends after breaking off. be it the man or woman.
there's just too much of the emotional aspect.
i really hated my 1st gf after she dumped me and took me like 3-4 yrs even before i would drop her an email asking how is she doing.
even now i wouldn't say we were friends, we are just people who happened to meet at some pub.

can only offer this little bit of advice from me

1. do a clean break with him, delete/throw wherever stuffs you have of him.
it's hard at 1st but would certainly give you back watever life you want to pursue now.

2. stay as the mistress, dun go into breaking his family but just stay as his fuck buddy as it seems until his wife find out of 1 these days

3. force him to choose between you and his family.

also you can try to go out more with your other circle of friends, try meet some new guys, you can widen your scope of life rather than be in this kind of situation now.

my 2 cents

[SINICHI KUDO]

The worst happens to the best of us, my lady. What will make your life satisfactory and filled with joy is looking back at those 3 years of trudging (trudging = the slow weary, depressing yet determined walk of a person who has nothing left in life but the simple impulse to soldier on) and smile to yourself saying that you've learned a lesson the hard way and pleased that finally, you've found the right guy for you, and single at that, whose arms are wrapped around you in a tight, loving embrace... Let me know if you need more advise... 8262-0506...

[singapore.camel]

damn why it is so hard to find someone RIGHT for you.. and when u found tat person HE is married! PUI! :(



hehehe ......... you are cute!

Anyway sad to hear your story.
But IMHO Married doesn't mean that they can't fall in love again.
It also doestn't mean that you can't love someone who is Married.
If both of you can click together, why not!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Life and love is kinda funny sometime cause the girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones that we don’t want... are so hard to get rid of!!!!! :p ...and I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have. :D

Well, Sis BG, I guess you didn't realize that it would be this hard to try to lose someone you never truly had. Then again, to love someone when there is no chance of that love ever thriving, that is romance :) Live and let's live and that you cannot always wait for the perfect time, sometimes you must dare to jump out of it . I am pretty sure there are still lotsof “ good old but not vintage“ feel to get wet before prick type of relationship out here...oops....there! Cheers, :D

[singapore.camel]

Life and love is kinda funny sometime cause the girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones that we don’t want... are so hard to get rid of!!!!! :p

That's the best part of the game.............. hehehe
Life will never be fair!

[groo]

...damn why it is so hard to find someone RIGHT for you.. and when u found tat person HE is married! PUI! I guess some girls know a good thing when they see one... and you just happened to be a step slower... Bwahahahahahahaha!!! But someday, the time will come when you get hitched by a guy and years later, some other gal will find him to be her dream guy but already married... to you!!! :D

... But I met him....n we started LUST... But now it's nt abt LUST we spend time doing other things together...n share abt our life... wan him as my best friend...seem like nt possible...can feel he love me.. N I feeling for him...U re rite abt married man more attractive ...his care for his family...wish to have but can't...hv make it clear will leave him one day n he accept it.....but dun know will let go when...Interesting... my FB told me exactly the same thing... about the married man and family parts.

We have talked long and short about it. I guess you can only enjoy each other as long as you can until such time comes and you have to part... Although it sounds sad but sometimes it's the next best thing to have in life - the love for each other... and then sweet memories... :p

Cheers and good luck hunting... :)

[Alkano]

Leave him while u still can....
Lust or feelings, u gotta let go...
Do it for yourself and also for his family....

[Subaru75]

hi Gal sad to hear that this thing happen to you my advise is to make a clean cut with him although it hard and pain but remember 1 thing there is a fatal issue that will happen if his wife ever find out and u will den be classfield as a 3rd party which road is hard to walk along ,Do not go to this dead end before you can made a u turn and leave all behind you
get a gal friend or guy friend to PEI u until you can slowly move on with your life LIfe is never with only 1 guy and FYI I also suspect that my wife is seeing another guy so basically I know how it feel to know that my partner betray my trust :o

[Blue_gal]

.1. Call/SMS/msn with me everyday;
- at least one contact a day, to know how I am doing....
2. Share with me his work;
- to let me know him more n able to share the same topic n crack jokes on works...
3. To be my punching bag;
- when am in bad mood n things didn't  go smoothly...try to talk to me but in the end tio scolding frm me n he bear with it...,
4. Give me his time as much as possible;
- weekdays will try to meet up n weekend will spend with family... 
5. Cook for me;
- cook n bring foods to me when I work late..
6. Tell me stupid jokes;
- trying to make me happy when I am moody.....
Tat is all he does n keep me with him for 3 yrsss....as compare to real mistress think I am easy to keep n maintain....
I dun ask for things becos I know he can't afford n I dun ask for him (call/SMS him) becos I scare he is with family n I dun ask anything from him becos I know in the end I will hv nothing back n I Never want him to give me anythings becos he is married! 
I ever asked him if he is nt married will he married me? He said even I m married now I also want to married u... Well woman like to ask stupid question n knowing it's a stupid reply, we still feel great..n sweet inside... 
He is non chinese with green eyes....it make me hard to leave the pretty face..but deed inside me I hate being 3rd party...n each time I feel guilty... It's sweet n happy to b with him spending time together just hving meal but after tat I felt I hv stolen something frm another person...to b honesty I feel cheap at time. He dare to kiss me in public but I m nt proud or like it.. I felt cheap...tat is wat I told him..
Conclusion I m the GOOD mistress to keep n StUPID to be.. I will leave HIM just need time....His wife know abt my existing  n he is very good in handling her...

Thanks for all the replies...

(p.s dun bother to msg n JIO me, I m nt interested...If u re born with PUSSY u do nt need to visit sex site to get laid pls remember) 

[singapore.camel]

hehehe ............. women are diffcult to please.
Blue gal you take and take but never give also can not what!

[groo]

.1. Call/SMS/msn with me everyday;....
2. Share with me his work;
3. To be my punching bag;
- when am in bad mood n things didn't  go smoothly...try to talk to me but in the end tio scolding frm me n he bear with it...,
4. Give me his time as much as possible;
5. Cook for me;
6. Tell me stupid jokes;
...asked him if he is nt married will he married me?...
To add on... do not bother whether you eat at hawker centre, foodcourt, kopitiam or restaurant? As long as you are with him, you're very happy liao, right? :D

Haha! All the points you brought up looks so familiar. Only difference is she cooks for me leh... :D

"Will you marry me?" it's a question for another lifetime... ;)

Cheers! :)

[Subaru75]

hi gal I think that is the min that he can do for you to be together
with you maybe you should reallythink of your
future and leave him for good as a matter if fact there is no
future and really lead you to no where and no matter how
much you lk e him whole hearted you will be abandon one day
and at that point of time I believe you will feel worst or 100 x
den how you feel if you to be done with him
I agreed that it hard to leave nut remember one thing there will
always be someone there for you as all is fated believe in
yourself that you can made it xos if you believe trust me
you will cmf be able to made it to the phase of your life
and at that point of time when you look back you will ask
yourself why am I so stupid in the past
be yourself face it and if you miss him just call your good friend
and talk to him or her be gone with the feeling of him

.1. Call/SMS/msn with me everyday;
- at least one contact a day, to know how I am doing....
2. Share with me his work;
- to let me know him more n able to share the same topic n crack jokes on works...
3. To be my punching bag;
- when am in bad mood n things didn't  go smoothly...try to talk to me but in the end tio scolding frm me n he bear with it...,
4. Give me his time as much as possible;
- weekdays will try to meet up n weekend will spend with family... 
5. Cook for me;
- cook n bring foods to me when I work late..
6. Tell me stupid jokes;
- trying to make me happy when I am moody.....
Tat is all he does n keep me with him for 3 yrsss....as compare to real mistress think I am easy to keep n maintain....
I dun ask for things becos I know he can't afford n I dun ask for him (call/SMS him) becos I scare he is with family n I dun ask anything from him becos I know in the end I will hv nothing back n I Never want him to give me anythings becos he is married! 
I ever asked him if he is nt married will he married me? He said even I m married now I also want to married u... Well woman like to ask stupid question n knowing it's a stupid reply, we still feel great..n sweet inside... 
He is non chinese with green eyes....it make me hard to leave the pretty face..but deed inside me I hate being 3rd party...n each time I feel guilty... It's sweet n happy to b with him spending time together just hving meal but after tat I felt I hv stolen something frm another person...to b honesty I feel cheap at time. He dare to kiss me in public but I m nt proud or like it.. I felt cheap...tat is wat I told him..
Conclusion I m the GOOD mistress to keep n StUPID to be.. I will leave HIM just need time....His wife know abt my existing  n he is very good in handling her...

Thanks for all the replies...

(p.s dun bother to msg n JIO me, I m nt interested...If u re born with PUSSY u do nt need to visit sex site to get laid pls remember) 

[dom70]

wow.. i am curious how many bros here have the same experience as Blue_gal? suggestion, advise, talk are easy.

I was once married to a woman for 7 years, and i got divorce two years back and remarried with the girl who was once my secret lover. Now my ex-wife become my friend.

To me true love cannot be cultivate, it just happen. We are human not plant or tree. All man love to flirt but when met their true love they changed.

Blue_gal, I just want you to know there are real/true love out there. I am not encouraging you to continue your affair or what so ever.. but i just want to tell you something i experience and it all depend on two of you, only two of you know clearly whether this love is true or not.

I might be just lucky but i believe there are alot of couple with true love still breakup at the end due reason that are more important than true love.

although everything now sound good but I am living with guilt now, for letting my family down. If possible even for true love, i will not encourage people to divorce.

"nothing is fair in life, nothing is perfect in life" be yourself is most important and ignore how others think. Everyone only has one life, live the way you want and don't regret.

[groo]

...curious how many bros here have the same experience as Blue_gal? suggestion, advise, talk are easy...once married to a woman for 7 years, and i got divorce...remarried with the girl who was once my secret lover. Now my ex-wife become my friend...
...I might be just lucky but i believe there are alot of couple with true love still breakup at the end due reason that are more important than true love.
...everything now sound good but I am living with guilt now, for letting my family down. If possible even for true love, i will not encourage people to divorce...Bro-dom, you hit the nail on the head! An affair is an affair, even if you find one you truly love. But that doesn't mean you love your spouse any less, especially if you are already married many years and have kids. Years of marriage have allow you to take each other for granted. It's a phase in marriage and you have reached the point where you are contented, not looking for so-called adolescent happiness. Not many people are contented. Even when they have reached the level, they do not recognise or appreciate it... :D

Even if you divorce and remarry your one true love, many years later, you will still discover that years down the road, you have reached the same point in your life that leads you to divorce in the first place.

When you have a family, they are always your first and topmost priority. Whether you meet your true love, your first ex, your fb, blah-blah-blah... they are all meaningless and come a distant second. Make a wrong turn of the tap in the shower and you end up in hot water. You will have utmost regrets, which usually occur much later in life, for which there is no turning back. You end up living through your old age in sadness... :eek:

Sis-Blue_gal seems to know what she is doing and what she wants. She also knows that she'll never break up his family and there'll come a day when they have to break up. Problem is, is he prepared to face the same outcome? But maybe, just maybe, he is not ready to give up, from Sis-BG's comment that he is very good in handling the wifey. Since his wife knows about her existence, this eventuality will be made all the more likely and early. So be prepared. :cool:

Cheers and have a good weekend... :)

[Blue_gal]

Blue gal you take and take but never give also can not what!

i give HIM my "HEART"...even going out with other GUYS for movies or dinner.. i will feel doing something BAD..behide him .. so this is "LOVE"??? called me STUPID....


I agreed that it hard to leave nut remember one thing there will
always be someone there for you as all is fated believe in
yourself that you can made it xos if you believe trust me
you will cmf be able to made it to the phase of your life
and at that point of time when you look back you will ask
yourself why am I so stupid in the past
be yourself face it and if you miss him just call your good friend
and talk to him or her be gone with the feeling of him

there is NO one to talk abt as its a secret of my LIFE...NONE of my friends will believe this secret of mine...(NEVER read the BOOK's cover ONLY)

Who will like to tell other that i am sleeping with Other's husband and there are SO Many single MAN out there... tat is why i am here... once i ever tried to keep HIM as good friend ONLY but its TRUE = MAN and WOMAN can NEVER be good friend only... even though I tried hard, i can feel that he CAN"T...he wants more than that...esp at time i try to tell him i going OUT with other guys, i can felt he is "jealous"....

bitching it here... just to let IT OUT frm my heart.. i know just need time... and trying to slowly CUT down the no of time to meet him... or to respond to him..


Blue_gal, I just want you to know there are real/true love out there.
I am not encouraging you to continue your affair or what so ever.. but i just want to tell you something i experience and it all depend on two of you, only two of you know clearly whether this love is true or not.

I might be just lucky but i believe there are alot of couple with true love still breakup at the end due reason that are more important than true love.

although everything now sound good but I am living with guilt now, for letting my family down. If possible even for true love, i will not encourage people to divorce.

"nothing is fair in life, nothing is perfect in life" be yourself is most important and ignore how others think. Everyone only has one life, live the way you want and don't regret.

TRUE LOVE...I never believe it till I met HIM...even though with EX-Blue Uncle i dun have such feeling at ALL...

Now i can feel how he is feeling.. does that meant the TRUE LOVE? ....to take what others' own...i will NEVER allow myself.. especially there is kid.....if he didn't get to meet his wife and moved to SG, i will not be able to know him...so i can say knowing him had messy up my life but i know i was ONCE HAPPY together before.....

I know that holding onto this for long will hurt others... so i rather hurt myself and HIM than to hurt the WIFE/Children cos they did NOTHING WRONG to deserve this and they love him more than ME.....


Sis-Blue_gal seems to know what she is doing and what she wants. She also knows that she'll never break up his family and there'll come a day when they have to break up. Problem is, is he prepared to face the same outcome? But maybe, just maybe, he is not ready to give up, from Sis-BG's comment that he is very good in handling the wifey. Since his wife knows about her existence, this eventuality will be made all the more likely and early. So be prepared.


HE once said that WHY I have to give UP when I have FOUND what I wanna? ........He even has plan ...to include me in his PLAN in the future...which WOMAN in this world will allow another WOMAN to share the Husband?? I told him even though the wife can accepted me I will not be able to accept "Sharing husband"......

well, just wait and see.. and i will try hard to "move out".. slowly....

Thanks for all the sharing and posting... good luck to all your love/lust LIFE! :)

[xyhan]

Sister Blue Gal

I am back into the scene again after awhile,,, I can understand the feelings of being in such a situation. Besides all the advice that all Brothers gave, at the end of the day, it all points to YOU and Your MINDSET....What your Mindset is? Do you want to carry on with this married guy? Because if your Mindset is always with that of a Married Man, then you will always meet with one.. The Mind works in a Mysterious way....YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU THINK..

Move On and Make A Closure....( if you truly love him and decide to leave him ) It's not going to be easy and is rather painful but when someday you look back, I am certain that you will tell yourself that you have made the right choice.

Perhaps, for a change, try and change your Mindset to that of attracting only Single Men....I am very sure then, that is what you will get eventually.. Trust me...I have experienced that myself.

I wish you all the best....REMEMBER: YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU THINK...It's just my two cents worth....

Take care.

Cheers

[goodpartner]

Sister Blue Gal

YOU and Your MINDSET....

....REMEMBER: YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU THINK..


Wah bro, you just came back from a course on the law of attraction? ;)
My thread also the same comment...

OK, although I roughly know what it is, I'm doing some reading up on it now.

[edack]

feel for you ..sigh

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

1. Call/SMS/msn with me everyday;
- at least one contact a day, to know how I am doing....
2. Share with me his work;
- to let me know him more n able to share the same topic n crack jokes on works...
3. To be my punching bag;
- when am in bad mood n things didn't go smoothly...try to talk to me but in the end tio scolding frm me n he bear with it...,
4. Give me his time as much as possible;
- weekdays will try to meet up n weekend will spend with family...
5. Cook for me;
- cook n bring foods to me when I work late..
6. Tell me stupid jokes;- trying to make me happy when I am moody.....


Tat is all he does n keep me with him for 3 yrsss....as compare to real mistress think I am easy to keep n maintain....
I dun ask for things becos I know he can't afford n I dun ask for him (call/SMS him) becos I scare he is with family n I dun ask anything from him becos I know in the end I will hv nothing back n I Never want him to give me anythings becos he is married! 
I ever asked him if he is nt married will he married me? He said even I m married now I also want to married u... Well woman like to ask stupid question n knowing it's a stupid reply, we still feel great..n sweet inside... 
He is non chinese with green eyes....it make me hard to leave the pretty face..but deed inside me I hate being 3rd party...n each time I feel guilty... It's sweet n happy to b with him spending time together just hving meal but after tat I felt I hv stolen something frm another person...to b honesty I feel cheap at time. He dare to kiss me in public but I m nt proud or like it.. I felt cheap...tat is wat I told him..
Conclusion I m the GOOD mistress to keep n StUPID to be.. I will leave HIM just need time....His wife know abt my existing  n he is very good in handling her...

Foreword: Your post brought to light many aspects of Asian girls/Caucasian men relationships that I have seen myself. And I am only referring to point 1 and 6..Stupid or not - It is not your fault. Please be advised that my post is also not meant to put anyone down.

Frankly, I often suspect that some of our local girls are having CWS disorder which is becoming so excessive that this disorder is interfering with their love and social life.

Just what is CWS?.....Many might wonder....:confused:

Well, CWS is an abbreviation for Caucasian Worship Syndrome (CWS). It is an obsessive disorder characterized by being too easily impressed by Caucasian and over-emotional worship them. ;)

Signs and symptoms of CWS - If you have CWS, you probably recognize that your obsessive thoughts and behaviors are irrational – but even so, you feel unable to resist them and break free....When you are dating a Caucasian, all of a sudden, he is often being idolized as a perfect guy, a liberal person, who is very talented, charming, having great sense of humor and he is the Be-All And End-All Of The World kind of boyfriend. :)

However, the symptoms of CWS may wax and wane over time as it's only natural BECAUSE there are hundreds and thousands of handsome, charming, caring and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race out there. Ha-Ha...BUT we are all too aware that our girls have built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome..

Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the hair? educational level? hairy skin? cultural values? colored eyes? personality and character traits? size (this is just too shallow cos most of the horse size or dragon size are Asian) ?

p/s: reminder: my post is not meant to put anyone down and just to set the record straight for All Asian men.

[S.B.Y]

Wisely put Mas Jepang Pak P couldn't have said it any better

[Subaru75]

there is NO one to talk abt as its a secret of my LIFE...NONE of my friends will believe this secret of mine...(NEVER read the BOOK's cover ONLY)

Who will like to tell other that i am sleeping with Other's husband and there are SO Many single MAN out there... tat is why i am here... once i ever tried to keep HIM as good friend ONLY but its TRUE = MAN and WOMAN can NEVER be good friend only... even though I tried hard, i can feel that he CAN"T...he wants more than that...esp at time i try to tell him i going OUT with other guys, i can felt he is "jealous"....

bitching it here... just to let IT OUT frm my heart.. i know just need time... and trying to slowly CUT down the no of time to meet him... or to respond to him..


Gal You Don have to tell people about your Deep secret in your heart but when you feel down,bore and miss that guy badly call your friend talk on other things distract your attention on missing him and all to all what I think you need is a good friend with a listening Ear who will hear you through all your woe but gal Remember to sunk in too deep before you can escape from it .Don;t because of 1 Tree give up the whole jungle
Trust ME there is always a Fatal person in life line up for you

[squiggle]

How to Break Up With a Married Man: http://www.ehow.com/how_4610274_break-up-married-man.html


Your path:

1. Stop seeing him & let the time bury everything.

2. Stay as normal close friends, without anything sex related stuff.

3. Ask him to make a choice. If he is really serious with you. Then he should divorce with his current wife. In a marriage, if you don't have the true love feeling with your partner any more. No point of being married to him/her.

4. Since he can cheat his wife to be together with you. Does he have any more girls outside to fuck with?

[groo]

Who will like to tell other that i am sleeping with Other's husband and there are SO Many single MAN out there... tat is why i am here... once i ever tried to keep HIM as good friend ONLY but its TRUE = MAN and WOMAN can NEVER be good friend only... even though I tried hard, i can feel that he CAN"T...he wants more than that...esp at time i try to tell him i going OUT with other guys, i can felt he is "jealous"....
...Your path:...1. Stop seeing him & let the time bury everything...
2. Stay as normal close friends, without anything sex related stuff...
3. Ask him to make a choice. If he is really serious with you. Then he should divorce with his current wife...4. ...(1): Easier said than done, as what many bros have pointed out. She herself know the problem and she's prepared that separation will eventually become reality.

(2): As she herself has said, it's difficult for 2 members of the opposite sex to be "normal close" friends. When there's attracton, sex will eventually come into the equation.

(3): I'd never never ask someone I'm madly in love with to divorce her other half to be with me. I'm not into any religion, but even then, for me, that's a great sin. I'm glad Blue_gal is also very much against that utterly selfish idea.

Cheers!

[Link]

Hey Blue_gal, hope you are not feeling so blue today :p

Your love for him is indeed TRUE love and admirable by my standards (foolish by alot of other people's standards).

But it's clear to me, that his love for you is not half as true. If it was, he would consider you before himself (just as how I am sure you are placing him before you, you know what I mean). There are already clear indicators in what you have mentioned so far that justify this claim.

If he truly loves you as much as you love him, he would have either divorced his current wife, or be a jerk to make you give up on him. Try imagining yourself as him, but with the love you have, and think about how you would have acted. Would you let the girl you truly love, be a mistress?

Cease the sex and open up the real him. :cool:

[thini]

Wat r man...

Friend to gal... I believe its juz for a max of 2 weeks. After max 2 weeks of toking, we will want more then the tok. Else will juz disappear off.

Wat does this sex comes to... maybe love but the ting is can this love be dual n fair. dunt tink so, only action can be fair.

Wat is woman. Wanting a listening ear with somebody she feels comfortable with. Once this being with this guy drew long, she will find it hard to detach as feelings grows which she do not wish to admit until too late.

So at the end of the day, its too late to stop and affairs happen. Esp gals to married man as gals always tot they r pple w no special intent to tok to. Which is always wrong.

[nottituck]

sorry if i sound preachy but the thing is you owe it to yourself to be good to yourself, and not cos of what other people say or think

no matter what is your final decision just rememeber tat you deserve better.

good luck

:o

[MaMister]

So how is the sex life? Good?

[Blue_gal]

thanks for all the posts.....

I wanna to remain as close friend with NO SEX..am trying one MORE TIME... i wanna to STOP seeing him for good but in the end, we meet again ... he is the only person i can throw my temper and to take my temper and he will try to make me laff when i am feeling down...we share our daily "story"........

I ever ask myself this question "so many single man out there why pick a marriedMAN?"

Did i NOT give other man a chance to prove that HE could be the ONE for me also? ...but each time i get to meet a new GUY, all he wants is FUCK n FUN...when i make it clear to him not FUCK .. he will not be interested to know me more....well i accept it.....if there is a FATE to meet HIM, we will MEET, else i will not bother anymore...

When i NEED i will find a way.... so those prick out there please remember this line "if u are born with a thing called "CHEE BYE" you will not need to come to SEX SITE to ask for FUCK" - sorry dun mean to be "rude"....

good luck all!
Blue Aunt|e"

[sgspike]

Hi blue I believe u should start seeing friends in group as a start to make lesser time for u to meet him. Its not easy to 4get someone but its still ur own determination to stop interacting with.

Most guys are very interested in the "hole" thing unless they are gay. Can't blame us.

Love also will end up in sex and sometimes sex brings about greater love.

[MaMister]

thanks for all the posts.....

I wanna to remain as close friend with NO SEX..am trying one MORE TIME... i wanna to STOP seeing him for good but in the end, we meet again ... he is the only person i can throw my temper and to take my temper and he will try to make me laff when i am feeling down...we share our daily "story"........

I ever ask myself this question "so many single man out there why pick a marriedMAN?"

Did i NOT give other man a chance to prove that HE could be the ONE for me also? ...but each time i get to meet a new GUY, all he wants is FUCK n FUN...when i make it clear to him not FUCK .. he will not be interested to know me more....well i accept it.....if there is a FATE to meet HIM, we will MEET, else i will not bother anymore...

When i NEED i will find a way.... so those prick out there please remember this line "if u are born with a thing called "CHEE BYE" you will not need to come to SEX SITE to ask for FUCK" - sorry dun mean to be "rude"....

good luck all!
Blue Aunt|e"

Now a days with all these sex sites how can a man not asking for FUCK...

Unless he is something wrong....:D

[gigigagago]

Hi TS, not sure if you'd ever get to read this but I thought I'll just write to you my thoughts.

I hope I don't seem like a wet blanket, but how are you supposed to know that besides you, whom he proclaims that "even if he's married, he'll also want to marry you", there aren't any others that he freely dispenses such sweet nothings with? In other words, how would you know if he doesn't have any other similar characters like you in his life? I'm sure his wife didn't share the same sentiments before either when they were exchanging marriage vows, or when she accepted his wedding proposal.

Moreover, if he is a real friend who cares for you, he'll respect your decisions, emotional well-being and would, without any reserve, want you to have your own perfect marital bliss. He'd be supportive of you to find your own happiness, instead of feeling "jealous" like you said, when you went to movies with other guys. Hell, who exactly is he to care even if you're sleeping with other guys? Oh, because of "your history together"? My take is he's exploiting that "history" to his selfish gains.

After reading what you shared about how he suggested going to a hotel with you, even though you resisted, I don't think he really cares about you. Sure, some people may argue that you went there on your own accord - which is true, but not what I'm about to discuss. What I wanna say is, when he was urging you to spend time in that hotel, was he thinking of his wife, and was he thinking about your feelings and happiness? I highly doubt so. Any self-respecting men would only want to engage fun with a willing party, not to exploit an emotionally vulnerable woman. To me, he is a low-life and he knows how to keep you acceding to his demand, because he knows your weakness. And he has had a lot of fun exploiting it. More importantly, he has been allowed to succeed. Is this something that you have control of? Yes. Is this control something you want to exercise? You make your decision.

Most guys have the equal capabilities of "calling/sms-ing you", "telling you stupid jokes", "be your punching bag", "give you as much of his time as possible", etc. In fact, these are all basic stuffs that we guys do when we are interested in you. He's doing this because he's interested in you - you might be surprised I'm saying this, but read on - because you are still "useful" to him. You're a convenient alternative outlet, which he doesn't have to take time and effort to build with someone new. Hence, my question is, other guys may provide you what he can, and want you to be happy with them in return too, but does this guy want you to be happy with him? Is he able to provide you the thing that you really need? The happiness that you deserve? You answer that yourself.

It is almost all men's thing to be possessive of his trophies and fight for trophies that they think should be "rightfully" theirs. But you, what about yourself? Are you happy? Even if you were a trophy, are you a satisfied and willing one? His actions only speak loudly of his ugly, selfish personal gains and nothing like a friend who truly cares.

Another issue I sincerely hope, even as a stranger, that you can resolve and have a happy ending with is - having worthy good men to come along for you. I'm sure it will happen. Everyone wants to have that; nobody will judge you for it. I do, however, have several questions... Most of the time when my gal-pals tell me they keep having the same type of guys going after them, and they keep getting into the same rut and ending the relationships in the same lousy way. I'm not sure if you're going through these but maybe you can consider:

1. The vibes that you're sending out to potential candidates
2. The people you always hang out with

These are very important questions that will reveal a lot of answers.

You mentioned that men you meet always want to "fuck and have fun", which ashamedly is true of many men (though not all), which if I may, apologise for my own species, but may I also ask, how would they know you are one whom they can freely demand so? What clues were you giving them? I mean, although guys are cheap (as with many women), we don't go around asking every lady "OEI, AI SIO KAN MAI?!" [If you're not a hokkien, it means "OEI, WANT TO FUCK?!"] Surely there must be certain clues that they picked up, therefore became embolden to express that intention, directly or indirectly.

Also, what kind(s) of men attract you? There may be some conflicting qualities that your heart wants and your eyes see. What do I mean? Let me give you an example:

Maybe you like guys who are fun, straightfoward and humorous. You may also think that these guys tend to be "strong and masculine". So, somehow you conditioned your mind to perceive that being "sexually-demanding, uncaring and possessive" as "strong and masculine", to become "fun, straightfoward and humorous". They are very different things, but because of how you relate them in your mind, unknowingly, they become the same. Which is something you want to avoid, but frustratingly keep attracting. Thus, do take a good look at the people you're hanging out with/keep attracting, and are they the ones that you really want to hang out with/continue attracting.

This is one of the things we cannot help, unless we have a substantial amount of time with you, or known you for some time. You have to sort this out yourself.

The very first thing you can do for your happiness is to be clear with him that it is either close friend, or no friend. No in-between, outside the box or toeing the line. Be very straightforward. Being reluctant to that is being reluctant to happiness. No good will come out of it.

Also, while managing this change, keep the ball in your court. Contact/reply/entertain him only when you want to. Let him know you have a life, and you cherish it. If he starts to advance further and try and be funny, stop the contact. Slowly but very surely, he'll get the hint. If he's a true friend, he'll stay and be one from then on. If not, all the better. No more shit-stirring, no more repeated annoyance.

All the best to you. Hope you find the happiness that you absolutely deserve. Don't settle for anything less. :)

P.S: I just used 30mins of my life on this post, so I really hope it does help you, even in a small way. Thank you for reading.

[BiRd13]

thanks for all the posts.....

I wanna to remain as close friend with NO SEX..am trying one MORE TIME... i wanna to STOP seeing him for good but in the end, we meet again ... he is the only person i can throw my temper and to take my temper and he will try to make me laff when i am feeling down...we share our daily "story"........

I ever ask myself this question "so many single man out there why pick a marriedMAN?"

Did i NOT give other man a chance to prove that HE could be the ONE for me also? ...but each time i get to meet a new GUY, all he wants is FUCK n FUN...when i make it clear to him not FUCK .. he will not be interested to know me more....well i accept it.....if there is a FATE to meet HIM, we will MEET, else i will not bother anymore...

When i NEED i will find a way.... so those prick out there please remember this line "if u are born with a thing called "CHEE BYE" you will not need to come to SEX SITE to ask for FUCK" - sorry dun mean to be "rude"....

good luck all!
Blue Aunt|e"

TS,
Saw after reading your story, as yours is similar like mine... Just that I'm a HE...

I knew one of my most Belove FB for more than 16 years. We started out as pen-pal, and some fine day, decided to meet up... At first, it was just purely friendship... We lost contact due to lost of pager and she also moved house... Met again several years later, and somehow both of us due to 'lust', got together... After hanging out for sometime (About half a year or so), she then told me that she's actually had ROM... I was shocked... However to her, as long as not yet Customary, she's still consider herself as 'Single'... But in law, it's not... We broke up...

During that period, I stopped all contacts with her, despite her sms me 'how are you' etc... I never replied a single one at all... I don't know if its fate or what... We met again at a friend's party.... After that, we again spent time with each other again...

I always told myself, there's single ladies out there... Why must choose her? However, from friendship turns to lust... and from lust turn to feeling... And right now, I'm unable to forget her... Despite she's married...

Many of time, we told ourself.. Meet up just for dinner/movies... But always... we landed on bed... It's been almost 6 months since I last saw her... as she went overseas, as her hubby is situated down there for a period of time... But the missing towards her had never get lower....

[hoosdathu]

Sis TS, if u stop giving him Farks totally, your so-called blue-eyed soulmate will stop giving u the other F u are looking for, ie Feelings...

u are just his FB, so don't need to think too much...

[Fade]

What do you think you are doing? You jolly well know he is married and you choose to get involve and now realised how messy this whole thing is?

Please gather all your strength and determination to leave this man. He is doing you no good. When lust turn into love with a married man, you know there is no good ending. What do you expect him to do? Divorce his wife and marry you instead? Are you able to cope with a husband who once divorce his wife so that he can be with his lover? What if history repeats itself? You took away somebody else's husband and some woman out there do the same to you. How would you feel?

Take responsibility in your own action. You can bed him just for entertainment sake but please put love aside. Enjoy his companionship but dun ever think of owning him as your own property. Remember, he took the vow and already belongs to somebody else. Since this man has broken his vow, he is no longer trustworthy.


While you are still single, enjoy your freedom and do plenty of good deeds.
Invest in a good vibrator while you wait for your true Prince to come.

[Blue_gal]

He asked why u must leave? when He is true to me...

He tried to invite me to his hse and to get to know his wife and let his wife meet me....His wife knew abt me as "close friend" of him...as a woman, i dun THINK any woman is stupid to believe we are Just "close friend"....

He agreed tat I can leave him if i can find someONE treat me well and care as much like HIM....but i can't find any....how? just grap any GUY i know? few months back, in order tO hurt him n just to make him stay AWAY frm me, i did something stupid....we didn't contact for 3 months...we did COOL off..but in the end he come back looking for me.. and i allow myself to meet him AGAIN....

He asked again .. why can't we be together...n doing thing to make me meet his WIFE, i hate it...i told him in tear, i feel SHAMELESS... tat is how I FEEL.....I feel really ShamEless for falling in love with a marriedMAN and a FATHER...of all single MAN out there...He stop asking me the "WHY" anymore...but he can't stop himself meeting me...he said...[WOman are born to believe everything when SHE is blinded by so called "LOVE"]

sometime i wish myself to be SHAMELESS, guess i will be more happy....n have the HEART to hurt those innocent's heart ....But tat is NOT me....I know what NEED to be done to make it correct....but i dun hv the courage..becos i really love him....and knowing there will be NO future ...if this goes on...

Thanks for all the reply and advice.....

[pmlee]

Thanks for all the reply and advice.....

Enough said in the thread here, now we want to see some action ... dont worry sis, you will amke it some day ...

[er0s47]

There is no right or wrong towards matter of hearts. u can always be standing in the T-junction never move for days, years or decades. any or how, one day u still need to make a decision. find a "starter" for courage and do what u feel like doing.

[yoichi]

So this is what they mean when they said "it's very hard to have the same food everyday throughout the rest of your life".

Do your best, sis. You can find us here if you ever need any help. We can lend you an ear.. for free. :D

[Waha]

Just finished reading 4 pages of comment...

得不到的东西永远都是最好的。。。

[cinos74]

We men are really bad creatures.
Let's change the settings a bit. If u are the guy would u want ya mistress to get advicefrom other men to dump you? Hell no !

I got another century old solution. Make it official u r 2nd wife. Big wife n family recognise u as no.2 . Olden days people do that. Screw the law screw AWARE , screw what other women may think of u( cos u have very little BFF anyway) . LIVE a life long n happy marriage on your own terms.

.... btw If this is not an option, I got another practical alternative.
Post again if u need it

[cinos74]

Before anyone goes trigger happy n start zapping.. This thread is two months old. Keep that in mind.

[BB1508]

Hi gal,

When feeling is involved, it's really difficult to just let it go by "doing the right" thing.

I would like to share my story as "the wife". Please bear with me cos it may be jumble up.
My husband who has a warped mind and a regular samster. (I dun farming care). He has an ex-gf whom he said that they are good friends. And they got the cheeks to celebrate his bday with his ex-gf at my place. Mind u, his ex-gf is also his fuck-mate whenever he come back from vn. He thinks Im ignorant to it. And we have a kid whom he so-called love with his whole life and would do anything for our kid. (bullshit!) and on top of it all, when he's in vn, he has a lived-in village gf whom he said that she's the only girl who doesn't dig his money and also showered him with love by showing him that love can be simple. This is his 3rd affair outside Sgp.
With all these insanities around with such a man whom he can tell any girls he meet that "I really love u but I love my family more than u", can u trust such a man? (as being é 3rd party)

1st - he doesn't care about the family
2nd - he only cares about how to satify his dick (hopefully he get HIV)
3rd - his love affairs and flings are regular
Do u think this kinda of man can be trusted when he only think about himself but u?

Gal, I believe that there r many nice guys out there. U need not stay with such a selfish man and destroy urself slowly. At least, u r still single and I believe u r young too. For me, i've a kid and stuck with a loveless marriage just becos I don't want my kiddo to suffer when he grows up. (mother's calling). Firstly, think the pain I've been thru as a wife. When I found out his affairs, can u imagine that I have to keep my mouth shut and I can't even confront the mistresses and flings? And put urself as a wife nxt time, how would u feel that nxt time ur hubby (touchwood) commit such an act? Will u forgive him or react how 101% female would do - scream, shout, cry & go hysterical?

I hope u consider my position as a wife and ur position as a third party. Love is a feeling that can't be forced. But when it come to such circumstances, u need to use ur mind instead of heart. Life is such... Live with it and suck it up.
Have a fruitful life. :)

This will be my first & last posting. Don't bother replying me or pm me. I'm not interested in critics, comments & empathy.
He asked why u must leave? when He is true to me...

He tried to invite me to his hse and to get to know his wife and let his wife meet me....His wife knew abt me as "close friend" of him...as a woman, i dun THINK any woman is stupid to believe we are Just "close friend"....

He agreed tat I can leave him if i can find someONE treat me well and care as much like HIM....but i can't find any....how? just grap any GUY i know? few months back, in order tO hurt him n just to make him stay AWAY frm me, i did something stupid....we didn't contact for 3 months...we did COOL off..but in the end he come back looking for me.. and i allow myself to meet him AGAIN....

He asked again .. why can't we be together...n doing thing to make me meet his WIFE, i hate it...i told him in tear, i feel SHAMELESS... tat is how I FEEL.....I feel really ShamEless for falling in love with a marriedMAN and a FATHER...of all single MAN out there...He stop asking me the "WHY" anymore...but he can't stop himself meeting me...he said...[WOman are born to believe everything when SHE is blinded by so called "LOVE"]

sometime i wish myself to be SHAMELESS, guess i will be more happy....n have the HEART to hurt those innocent's heart ....But tat is NOT me....I know what NEED to be done to make it correct....but i dun hv the courage..becos i really love him....and knowing there will be NO future ...if this goes on...

Thanks for all the reply and advice.....

[evulg]

when 2 people have sex, two becomes one. This I believe is more than just a metaphor.
Try abstinence. Meet him but abstain from sex...this should help you move on(less painfully). Most likely you won't meet a life partner otherwise.

With a life partner; much better sex!! over and over.....................................

[arsenal_84]

i rather follow my conscience than follow my heart.

[gotcraft30]

when 2 people have sex, two becomes one. This I believe is more than just a metaphor.
Try abstinence. Meet him but abstain from sex...this should help you move on(less painfully). Most likely you won't meet a life partner otherwise.

With a life partner; much better sex!! over and over.....................................

Er... I won't even suggest meeting that person. It's like you have diabetes but you purposely walk into a candy shop everytime.

[Blue_gal]

We didn't meet for another MONTH, yes a month only...it has not been easy....i really do feel lonely....no friend at all....Seriously, i am not tat YOUNG to go hang out and get to know new friends nor i am OPEN to know new friends in other ways.......

i really DID try not to meet him ..but it doesn't work...He is like a close friend to me...we share a lot things in our life....but SEX is not the main thing now....although he did "ask" sometime but he knew that I am NOT going to give....

Slowly we contact again....YES again...but this time he knew very CLEARLY...what I wanna ONLY... Friendship...

Frankly speaking, I really just wanna a FRIEND back....i feel ease and happier for NOW....i bet when i tots of his wife again ...i will hate myself again...I will need to change the mind set...why can't we really be JUST FRIEND? seriously i m lost...is there really pure FRIENDSHIP between guy and a woman?

He is not local and he don't have much friends also and believe me, he does love his wife and family type...i read his FB and his SMS with his wife...He will spend his off day with his family and he spend his weekday free time to have meals with me...

recall when we just started , i am so in love with him even though i know tat we are just hving fling....tat time, when he speak of his family or wife, i will JEALOUS...believe me...at that moment i knew i fall DEEP ...i were misery for a few months..trying to get him out of my life...we broke up on off on off....but each time I go back to him, I knew I had love him lesser [I can ask and we can talked abt his wife and family at time] and lesser, he does feel it ...I love him as a FRIEND, becos we share a lot ......

I don't know how LONG we can carry on this type of r/s....

LOST Blue Auntie...

[bryanyan]

We didn't meet for another MONTH, yes a month only...it has not been easy....i really do feel lonely....no friend at all....Seriously, i am not tat YOUNG to go hang out and get to know new friends nor i am OPEN to know new friends in other ways.......

i really DID try not to meet him ..but it doesn't work...He is like a close friend to me...we share a lot things in our life....but SEX is not the main thing now....although he did "ask" sometime but he knew that I am NOT going to give....

Slowly we contact again....YES again...but this time he knew very CLEARLY...what I wanna ONLY... Friendship...

Frankly speaking, I really just wanna a FRIEND back....i feel ease and happier for NOW....i bet when i tots of his wife again ...i will hate myself again...I will need to change the mind set...why can't we really be JUST FRIEND? seriously i m lost...is there really pure FRIENDSHIP between guy and a woman?

He is not local and he don't have much friends also and believe me, he does love his wife and family type...i read his FB and his SMS with his wife...He will spend his off day with his family and he spend his weekday free time to have meals with me...

recall when we just started , i am so in love with him even though i know tat we are just hving fling....tat time, when he speak of his family or wife, i will JEALOUS...believe me...at that moment i knew i fall DEEP ...i were misery for a few months..trying to get him out of my life...we broke up on off on off....but each time I go back to him, I knew I had love him lesser [I can ask and we can talked abt his wife and family at time] and lesser, he does feel it ...I love him as a FRIEND, becos we share a lot ......

I don't know how LONG we can carry on this type of r/s....

LOST Blue Auntie...

Be strong and do not hurt urself

[michaelchw]

We didn't meet for another MONTH, yes a month only...it has not been easy....i really do feel lonely....no friend at all....Seriously, i am not tat YOUNG to go hang out and get to know new friends nor i am OPEN to know new friends in other ways.......

i really DID try not to meet him ..but it doesn't work...He is like a close friend to me...we share a lot things in our life....but SEX is not the main thing now....although he did "ask" sometime but he knew that I am NOT going to give....

Slowly we contact again....YES again...but this time he knew very CLEARLY...what I wanna ONLY... Friendship...

Frankly speaking, I really just wanna a FRIEND back....i feel ease and happier for NOW....i bet when i tots of his wife again ...i will hate myself again...I will need to change the mind set...why can't we really be JUST FRIEND? seriously i m lost...is there really pure FRIENDSHIP between guy and a woman?

He is not local and he don't have much friends also and believe me, he does love his wife and family type...i read his FB and his SMS with his wife...He will spend his off day with his family and he spend his weekday free time to have meals with me...

recall when we just started , i am so in love with him even though i know tat we are just hving fling....tat time, when he speak of his family or wife, i will JEALOUS...believe me...at that moment i knew i fall DEEP ...i were misery for a few months..trying to get him out of my life...we broke up on off on off....but each time I go back to him, I knew I had love him lesser [I can ask and we can talked abt his wife and family at time] and lesser, he does feel it ...I love him as a FRIEND, becos we share a lot ......

I don't know how LONG we can carry on this type of r/s....

LOST Blue Auntie...


like u called yourself...LOST....

obviously its not all angel nor devil, but you are battling between your heart and your morale values.

it is very very UNLIKELY for 2 persons to be able to share 1 person, be it 2 guys 1 gal, or 2 gals 1 guy.
not impossible, and we all hoped that it can happen to us, when we are the 3rd party, or you are the one that is being shared.
we can hope but it is even harder than getting all 7 numbers right in ToTo.

if you really do not want to break up someone else's family and hurt anther woman (and the kids), then u juz gotta force yourself to breakup with him.
sorry but there is no such thing as "we can still be friends" in your case, given what you two have been through and how much you have given in terms of your heart.
one fine day, you will want more, or he will want more, or she will want more.

obviously you are already yearning for true love that belongs to you, and only you. something that you can open show your affection for the other half, without hiding from anyone else.
this is something that he cannot give you, unless he is prepared to hurt his family.

i know its tough coz there is no one you can talk to about this.
been there, done that, and hell ya, it hurts like nothing else.
and it still hurts till today.

how to get over it?
u can try distracting yourself with some new activities or hobbies.
or juz make friends, meet more people.
if the guy juz want sex n fun, then he is not the one.
juz move on then.

well....good luck, and take care of yourself ya. :)

[luke83]

ai zah la.. u will met ur special someone when time comes.. no worries. =)

[jondoe]

Hi Blue_gal....

I am exactly in your guy shoe. The feeling is so deep and real.

I was about to go overeas and visit her last december, bought the ticket and was happy and excited to meet her. And the next 2 days she told me that she doesn't want to meet me anymore. She was afraid that she can't take it when I have to go back to singapore again. She said she couldn't take the pain anymore. Since then she stop replying to my message, and it certainly hurt me badly.

After this...the last sms she gave me was '" I couldn't sleep...thinking of you". After that her mobile was not active anymore.

Until now....i couldn't sleep for so many days. The feeling is tormenting. I couldn't accept the losing. I wish i could let her go from my mind and forget her. But not for me....everyday I miss her and thinking of the sweet memory that we had.

If you think friendship is better for both of you and that relationship is achievable, you may give it a try. I know the feeling won't go away that fast since you two are still in touch.
But I believe both of you are aware that there's no hope for your relationship with him.

[Ice2005]

it is sad to hear about your relation with him. But frankly, the ultimate target for him is to quench his sexual desire through you as he may not have enough from his wife.
You are right that this is not the right site to find serious relation as most here are looking for gals to bed.
As age are catching up, it may be more difficult if you are waiting for Male to approach. Perhaps it will be good to look around and approach guys that you feel interested. Try not to look for the hip and cool guys.

Good luck.

[tookara]

sad to read about your story....

[SaSuK3]

hey blur gal ..... u know tat the thing u r saying is mostly the same things happen to mi ??? the diff is im not married ... haas .... for the onli way to let to to forget abt her is .... cant say it here ... has