Advice on marrying a foreign bride and the Women's Charter

[cumblaster]

Hi Guys

For nearly 2 years, I've been dating a single mom from the Philippines. Met her when she came here as a 'Performing Artist'. We eventually became serious enough that she moved in with me for the last 4 months until her permit expired and she had to go back.

10 months ago, she came back as a tourist, stayed with me, sent out her CV's and eventually got a regular job as a waitress in one of the restaurants here. However, she again had to go back once her permit expired.

Now, after 8 months of living together, coupled with the time we were apart (but still communicated daily) as well as the time she was staying with me previously, I honestly think she loves me, and I her.

And while we both would have been perfectly content to just cohabitate together, that's not possible as she cannot stay here indefinitely. Hence, I will eventually have to marry her...

My problem is the Women's charter.
I have my own place, savings, etc. Looking at the failure rates of marriages, (50%?). Getting married is literally like going to the roulette table and betting 1/2 my entire life savings on black!!

So if we should ever go through a divorce:
1) If she just holds a LTVP/ LTVP - Plus pass.
a) Can she whack me with the Women's charter for her maintenance?
b) Can she get me for maintenance of the kid that is hers but not mine?
c) Can she get 1/2 my flat and savings?

2) If she holds a PR will I be screwed? As I believe points a, b and c can all be used to crucify me..

Any advice how I should go about covering my ass?


Thank you for reading..

[vexsint]

good question bro, i want to know too.. currently dating a pinoy also.. was thinking about our future recently..

[cumblaster]

Thanks. I figured I better ask cos a friend went through a divorce with his Pinay, single mother wife last year. Apparently, that woman tried to mow his ass using the women's charter..For every argument she had, she just paid her lawyer 1 dollar and he would fight it for her. My friend had to pay his lawyer, the full legal fees to fight off whatever nonsense her lawyer threw at him.

The more she kept piling up, the more he ended up paying just to fight. I know she even went after him for maintenance for her kid that wasn't his. For those wondering, his wife held a PR.

Unfortunately, I don't know how much she won as he says it's too painful to discuss.

Does anyone know how much the women's charter protects a wife on a LTVP/ LTVP - Plus pass?

[hamsapkwai]

If you marry her you will be marrying her sisters ,her brothers, her mother, her father . her cousin sisters, cousin brothers, grandmother , grandfather ,uncle, brothers in law , sister in laws , aunties ....

wait let me take a deep breathe before i continue ......

godmothers , godfathers, godbrothers , village witchdoctors etc

and they all will take turn having emergency medical operations, extended hospital stays and urgent need for school fees and also each of them will celebrate birthdays 3 times a year.

And guess what? Each time you will have to fork out money to pay for the occasion.

Oh , we havent gotten to the divorce part yet where she will hit you for all you`ve got. You will lose your house for sure cos its her matrimonial home.

I think you roughly got the idea no?

[cumblaster]

Yep. I dated a few of those too. Jesus they kept asking me for money! But she's different. For example she's stashed her money in one of the banks here that even her family has no idea of. And her family knows better than to borrow money from her as she routinely turns them down. She absolutely detests freeloaders. We've had many conversations about that.

Anyway, for the past two years, the only money I have given her was for her. Of which, she kept them in her bank here. The only time she sends money back is for her small business there and for her kid.

My concern here is if she does a complete 180 transformation and decides to fry my ass. Legally, how much damage can she do to me with just a LTVP/ LTVP - Plus pass.

[vexsint]

Originally Posted by hamsapkwai

If you marry her you will be marrying her sisters ,her brothers, her mother, her father . her cousin sisters, cousin brothers, grandmother , grandfather ,uncle, brothers in law , sister in laws , aunties ....

wait let me take a deep breathe before i continue ......

godmothers , godfathers, godbrothers , village witchdoctors etc

and they all will take turn having emergency medical operations, extended hospital stays and urgent need for school fees and also each of them will celebrate birthdays 3 times a year.

And guess what? Each time you will have to fork out money to pay for the occasion.

Oh , we havent gotten to the divorce part yet where she will hit you for all you`ve got. You will lose your house for sure cos its her matrimonial home.

I think you roughly got the idea no?

is having a pinoy as wife so jialat? i know my gf for 6 months until now, so far no asking of money except for top up cards, small items, biggest amount was ticket back to philipines. but one thing worry me is that she care for her family more than for me, kinda piss me off.. she no kids btw..

[hamsapkwai]

I dont want to end up like Amy Cheong by talking too much , hear it firsthand from someone , read this .......

http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2...-care-of-them/

[laksa328]

Originally Posted by vexsint

is having a pinoy as wife so jialat? i know my gf for 6 months until now, so far no asking of money except for top up cards, small items, biggest amount was ticket back to philipines. but one thing worry me is that she care for her family more than for me, kinda piss me off.. she no kids btw..

u will never know what she have in mind...being nice at first but after marriage another person...

[upmountain]

Originally Posted by cumblaster

And while we both would have been perfectly content to just cohabitate together, that's not possible as she cannot stay here indefinitely. Hence, I will eventually have to marry her...

My problem is the Women's charter.
I have my own place, savings, etc. Looking at the failure rates of marriages, (50%?). Getting married is literally like going to the roulette table and betting 1/2 my entire life savings on black!!

So if we should ever go through a divorce:
1) If she just holds a LTVP/ LTVP - Plus pass.
a) Can she whack me with the Women's charter for her maintenance?
b) Can she get me for maintenance of the kid that is hers but not mine?
c) Can she get 1/2 my flat and savings?

2) If she holds a PR will I be screwed? As I believe points a, b and c can all be used to crucify me..

Any advice how I should go about covering my ass?


Thank you for reading..

Hi bro

As to the first part of your post which i did not quote, i think whether or not it is a good idea to marry her is entirely your decision. I am sure you will have many sources to help you make that decision. Besides your friends who you can talk to and confide in personally, there are many bros here in sbf who have shared their experiences in similar situations.

For the second part of your post which i have quoted above, the moment you get married to her in singapore, the women's charter will apply to how the marriage is governed by the law.

Technically, as long as the both of you ROM in singapore, it doesn't matter whether she is on LTVP or she has a PR. She can still divorce you and end the marriage in court.

However, and to be cynical about it, the foreign bride would usually secure her PR first before she starts court proceedings to end the marriage. This is because if she is only on a LTVP and her PR application is still pending, ICA may refuse to grant her PR status if she divorces you during this time.

Not to mention, I think that there is a time bar to get divorced. Meaning to say that either party cannot go to court to end the marriage within a certain period of time after they got married. This one I not too sure.

Anyway, if worse case happens and she divorces you, under the women's charter:

a. Yes, she can whack you to pay for her maintenance. The ex-husband still has to pay for the ex-wife's maintenance. The only question is how much maintenance you have to pay.

b. Yes, you will likely have to pay maintenance for her child even after the divorce unless you can prove that the child is already receiving regular maintenance from the biological father.

c. No, she has no stake in your flat as she did not make any contribution to buy it. She will only have a stake in your flat if she can show that she has contributed in some way to the matrimonial home (can be financial contribution or not). If that is so, the court can order the flat to be sold and the money will be split between the two of you according to the level of contribution.

d. Yes, she will likely be able to get some of your savings but not necessarily 1/2. Can be more or less. The court will decide how best to divide the assets between the parties depending on the case.

This is what I learnt from my cousin who had recently gone through a divorce with a PRC. I see him also heart pain man..

Best for you to consult a lawyer for proper advice bro as not all cases are the same.

Most importantly, make sure your decision on whether to marry or not is based on both your head and your heart.

[Trevayne]

Originally Posted by upmountain

Most importantly, make sure your decision on whether to marry or not is based on both your head and your heart.

Its only human nature to hope for the best, prepare for the worst. TS maybe sincere, but reservations are also there, anyone would want to protect themselves.
After all, its really hard for one person to really know another.

[cumblaster]

Originally Posted by upmountain

Hi bro
However, and to be cynical about it, the foreign bride would usually secure her PR first before she starts court proceedings to end the marriage. This is because if she is only on a LTVP and her PR application is still pending, ICA may refuse to grant her PR status if she divorces you during this time.

Thanks upmountain. That's actually a very good point. As long as she is on LTVP, she needs to renew it annually. So, in the event we decide to end it, if ICA is made aware that we are separating or divorcing, they will, in all likely hood, not renew her LTVP.

Guess my next question (open to all) is, can she still challenge me for alimony and maintenance if she is over there?

[upmountain]

Originally Posted by cumblaster

Guess my next question (open to all) is, can she still challenge me for alimony and maintenance if she is over there?

Yes she can. So long is ROM in singapore, means that singapore law will apply.

Doesn't mean that if her LTVP is cancelled or not extended, means that she cannot go after you in court.

She can always hire a lawyer in singapore to file all the necessary papers for maintenance etc. for her even if she is not physically in singapore.

While it may be inconvienent for her, she can also enter singapore on a normal 30 day social visit pass to attend court when required of her if it comes to that.

[cumblaster]

Thanks upmountain. I guess I won't marry her then or any other woman for that matter until prenups get recognized here (which is probably never)

[S.B.Y.1]

bRuR cumblaster

Pak feel that you very apprehensive over the whole issue of marrying a foreigner but believe
Pak nationality has no difference from a Sinagporean lady.

Be it any nationality if the lady is really out for monetary you can sort of sense it

Example a kampong cewe who mixes with the society will maybe change from the normal
kampong good girl whom you cherish to a money grabbing person

Likewise if a woman with a child might understand better the experince of marriage and might
value your relationship

Marriage is always be a gamble and we can only apply to be a better partner to prolong the realtionship

Point to note is are you willing and ready to accept her child as a responsible step-father

This is a question that you have to ponder most

Good luck to you in your decision

[maxsee]

If u want a pre-nup...get ur marriage registered in a country that recognize pre-nup la....i remember 2 years ago there was a case whereby the pre-nup was enforced coz the marriage was not registered in singapore mah...