Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[bigbirdbird]

[coldga]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Very nice to blow dry. Thanks bro bigbirdbird for sharing good jokes.

[Sweden1958]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Cardiff, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Very good one bro, ROFL

[Jnut]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Wahahaha gay doctor!!

[bigbirdbird]

[Hurricane88]

Morning laughter...

[warbird]

Those Clever Nuns...

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. NORTON
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign which says:

SISTERS OF ST. NORTON
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST, NORTON
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. NORTON


He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,

"What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man,

"Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs,

"Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED
BY THE SISTERS OF ST. NORTON

[KTVbuddy]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

haha, this is so funny. great share bro.

[Hurricane88]

🗣 *Joke of the day*
. 😂🌚😂🌝

Fight between husband and wife (both with MA in English literature). Instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force... they write poems to each other. .....

*WIFE*
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

*HUSBAND*
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

*WIFE*
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far

*HUSBAND*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

*WIFE*
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

*Husband*
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!!
😂🌚🤣

[Hurricane88]

Good Friday eve jokes...

[FS14148]

Thanksss to all who sharing.... Really a break for my stressful day👍🏻🤗

[etsys]

hoping it wasn't posted before ..

[Hurricane88]

I cant stop laughing comrades

A man boarded a taxi going home one evening

But before the taxi took off, he saw his wife entering a lodge with another man.

He quickly asked the taxi driver: do you want to make more money amounting to k1000 in a few minutes?

The tax driver happily answered: Of course Sir, What do I do for you?

The man said: here is a photo of my wife, go inside that lodge get me my stupid wife as you pull her by her hair here!

But few minutes later, the man was surprised to see the taxi driver dragging a different woman out of the lodge, kicking and slapping her terribly while the woman was screaming.

The man shouted at the taxi driver: Noo!! Please leave that woman alone, She is not my wife... Have you confused the picture?

The taxi driver answered: Relax Sir,
This one is mine, hold her for me as I go get yours out too....

😂😂😂

[Hurricane88]

Correct meaning of *"OK"* is the name of a German engineer *Otto Krovens* who worked for Ford car company in America.
As chief inspector he wrote his initial as *OK* upon each car he passed.
Hence it continued till date as All correct

💚 Do we know actual full form of some words??? 💚

*💛 _ 🔗News paper = _ 💛*
_North East West South past and present events report._

*💛 _ 🔗Chess = _ 💛*
_Camel, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers._

*💛 _ 🔗Cold = _ 💛*
_Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease._

*💛 _ 🔗Joke = _ 💛*
_Joy of Kids Entertainment._

*💛 _ 🔗Aim = _ 💛*
_Ambition in Mind._

*💛 _ 🔗Date = _ 💛*
_Day and Time Evolution._

*💛 _ 🔗Eat = _ 💛*
_Energy and Taste._

*💛 _ 🔗Tea = _ 💛*
_Taste and Energy Admitted._

*💛 _🔗Pen = _ 💛*
_Power Enriched in Nib._

*💛 _🔗Smile =_ 💛*
_Sweet Memories in Lips Expression._

*💛 _ 🔗SIM = _ 💛*
_Subscriber Identity Module_

*💛 _ 🔗etc. = _ 💛*
_End of Thinking Capacity_

*💛 _ 🔗Or = 💛*
_Orl Korec (Greek Word)_

*💛 _ 🔗Bye _ 💛*
Be with you Everytime._

*💚 share these meanings as majority of us don't know 💚*

[Hurricane88]

Good Friday laughter...