The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[jameshao]

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

Real strange to have pre-arranged marriage.
Marriage is a life of long term committment...............

But in modern days now, marriage is no longer who love who.
Marriage is for reproduce & for divorce.
other than that, marriage is useless.
Love after marriage will fade.
either u or your spouse will sway.
envy those ppl who have arranged marriage,
no feeling involve. jus Fk & reproduce.
no conflict.

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by jameshao

But in modern days now, marriage is no longer who love who.
Marriage is for reproduce & for divorce.
other than that, marriage is useless.
Love after marriage will fade.
either u or your spouse will sway.
envy those ppl who have arranged marriage,
no feeling involve. jus Fk & reproduce.
no conflict.

Arranged marriages may answer to most marital problems cos mostly we marry out of "love" , but do we really know what is love at the tender age of 25-28. bear in mind that most of our emotional ages are a few years younger than our physical ages, due to the sheltered life n upbringing here in singapore.

Just my thoughts

[Da Vinci]

Originally Posted by jameshao

But in modern days now, marriage is no longer who love who.
Marriage is for reproduce & for divorce.
other than that, marriage is useless.
Love after marriage will fade.
either u or your spouse will sway.
envy those ppl who have arranged marriage,
no feeling involve. jus Fk & reproduce.
no conflict.

I beg to differ. As much as the purpose of marriage is to fk and reproduce to maintain the population, there must be love!!! If not, we can just bonk and bonk and bonk different girls just for reproduction?

Marraige and the production of your fking, is the simple cause for love to exist.
I will want to love my wife, my children. till old age....

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

Real strange to have pre-arranged marriage.
Marriage is a life of long term committment...............

Well, you may be surprise that pre-arranged marriage has a lower percentage of divorce rate. Perhaps the unknown factors keep thrill on going for all is new and unknown of. Such couples will spend more time understanding and accommodating each other after marriage and hence may generate better chemistry as well.

[Da Vinci]

Originally Posted by OceanEleven

Well, you may be surprise that pre-arranged marriage has a lower percentage of divorce rate. Perhaps the unknown factors keep thrill on going for all is new and unknown of. Such couples will spend more time understanding and accommodating each other after marriage and hence may generate better chemistry as well.

I will not be surprised with the lower % of divorce rates.
In the case of pre-arranged, both parties had willingly listened to their matchmakers, which already proven that they are obedient. They will not divorce regardless, cos' of the "promises" made... + their personality of listening and obediently accepting.

Others not pre-arranged, we chose ourself, we got the freedom, and the character is more violatile to external factors. therefore, more divorces cases.

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

I will want to love my wife, my children. till old age....

It takes two hands to clap "You will want" does NOT mean "she will want" Dont be too certain, my pal

[KingBong]

Originally Posted by Thai Rak Thai

so can we say at first i saw a rolls royce super fell in love with it - check pocket only got money for mazda (and rest is history as they say) so indeed one i married was not one i love most?

Sorry for late response as I've not been in lately.
Purpose I used the car example is to illustrate a point. Not so much
about Rolls or what brands, but more that even though we may fall in
love with someone (liking a Ferrari first time you saw it), it does not mean we will marry them (actually buying a Ferrari). However,this decision is pretty much financial based so it's not so good an example to use.

Going back, my discussion was based on the thread title. My point is that love is an instinctive feeling, nobody taught you or told you how.Whereas these days, because marriage is an important and costly decision, ppl tend to consider many other things (I can't think of any now, but you know what i mean) that is more practical and socially accepted.

[SammyHulk]

Familiarity breeds contempt imo. Haiz......@ times gotten so used till take 4 granted.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

I will not be surprised with the lower % of divorce rates.
In the case of pre-arranged, both parties had willingly listened to their matchmakers, which already proven that they are obedient. They will not divorce regardless, cos' of the "promises" made... + their personality of listening and obediently accepting.

I still rather believe that arranged marriage are built on the foundation of respect, in the case of educated of both parties I mean, not those back in rural areas where money is more of the deciding factors. Imagine 2 unknown people thrown in the mix, both will start with caution and respect and both out to achieve the goal of understanding and loving each other, with the right mindset and willingness of both, I think success is more than failure.

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by OceanEleven

I still rather believe that arranged marriage are built on the foundation of respect, in the case of educated of both parties I mean, not those back in rural areas where money is more of the deciding factors. Imagine 2 unknown people thrown in the mix, both will start with caution and respect and both out to achieve the goal of understanding and loving each other, with the right mindset and willingness of both, I think success is more than failure.

Somehow , arranged marriages esp when both parties are from similar socio-economic background may work out more often than marriages based on "love".

Even then when we are supposed to choose our own life partners, we should let our big head decide, and not just based on how she looks or how we feel.
partners of similar social background have higher chance of success

that's just my views.

[clarkent]

sad to think that socio-economic factors should affect our choice of life partner.

IF our economic status has been decided from the start (average family, average job, average car, or no family, barely scraping living, no car, or wealthy family, inheritance and lamborghinni), are we doomed then to marry within that same socio strata?

whilst i agree with quite a few bros that ai qing cannot dang fan chi, there has to be a point where love can pull you through the toughest parts of a marriage, be it infidelity or bankruptcy.

some bros mentioned their other half stood by them through thick and thin, supporting them all the way, ultimately moving these bros hearts before they decide to marry that girl.

can we guys do the same for girls?

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by clarkent

some bros mentioned their other half stood by them through thick and thin, supporting them all the way, ultimately moving these bros hearts before they decide to marry that girl.

can we guys do the same for girls?

During trying times, any relationship will face adversity, sometimes criticism from external parties, be it friends, family etc. I'm sure more so for the men because the ideaology of "bringing the bacon home", whether most of us truly admit it...is the burden of the MAN, indeed.

If the lady decides "out" of a relationship (for whatever reasons) ~ no man can change her mind, vis-a-vis...for a guy. Hard to accept...or did i hit too close to home?

I still reiterate - "The one you marry, is not the one you loved most"

JWNY

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by JWNY

.... I still reiterate - "The one you marry, is not the one you loved most"

sometimes, marrying the 1 we luv most may result in adverse turns of events too, for we men sometimes try hard, or even try too hard to oblige to her every tiny little whimper or sulk. perhaps its just nature's way of presenting us a longer lasting spectrum of "blessing in disguise".

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by JWNY

...more so for the men because the ideaology of "bringing the bacon home", whether most of us truly admit it...is the burden of the MAN, indeed.
I still reiterate - "The one you marry, is not the one you loved most"

As for your last salvo, how about this:

The one you loved most, is not the one you marry

Got diff? Or try this for size:

So many I loved, but none did I choose to marry

I'd better scram, else kena cross fire or shrapnel..for this lousy taking mickey off you

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

sometimes, marrying the 1 we luv most may result in adverse turns of events too, for we men sometimes try hard, or even try too hard to oblige to her every tiny little whimper or sulk. perhaps its just nature's way of presenting us a longer lasting spectrum of "blessing in disguise".

Originally Posted by yinyang

As for your last salvo, how about this:

The one you loved most, is not the one you marry

Got diff? Or try this for size:

So many I loved, but none did I choose to marry

I'd better scram, else kena cross fire or shrapnel..for this lousy taking mickey off you

....when i need some time alone, i take a trip to the Singapore Flyer and admire the horizon of what our great country has built and forget about women problems. It's serene.

JWNY