The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[kiko]

Marriage is once a life time, i will marry the gal i love, and she also love me. The theory is love each other, i swear , no matter or worse till death do us part.. i love u with every bit of my heart ,,, i swear...

[featherbird]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

huh what u mean crying over spilt milk ah. i nothing to sad about lol i just said it since we talking who we love most lol..

As for myself i dont really care lol got got no have i also never mind lol.

alright..... momve on to future! Greener pastures

[zunbo]

Originally Posted by McSqueezy

How ppl fall in love in the 1st place?

Do you know that before you even notice someone's character traits n stuff, you might already be attracted to that person's scent??

Studies have shown that before our brains register the diff aspects of a person we might like, our noses do the work 1st.

This is because our bodies give off pheromone( in this case,the sex pheromone). Different person will react differently with another's pheromone. If it's a gd reaction( aka e person here likes how e other smells), then the brain will trigger signals that says: "hey, that's a potential mate or sth like tat, blab, blab, blab..."

This is science!

this is something new thank u

[XueJing]

You mean the person's perfume ....

[wolverman]

Originally Posted by Cum_Luver

else in the end if it does not turn out well,both parties will be very unhappy and miserable for a long long time.

Friends say its best to be honest to each other during courtship. Be transparent with ur true ones. Share our dark past (before tying the knots) with ur loved ones lest they found out the truth and it would not augers well especially after marriage. Well, i did just that and up till today, the one I marry did not forget my dark past cos during some minor arguments, she have the habit of mentioning my past again. So lesson learnt here is that Honesty is not necessarily the best policy!

[hoho99]

Originally Posted by wolverman

Friends say its best to be honest to each other during courtship. Be transparent with ur true ones. Share our dark past (before tying the knots) with ur loved ones lest they found out the truth and it would not augers well especially after marriage. Well, i did just that and up till today, the one I marry did not forget my dark past cos during some minor arguments, she have the habit of mentioning my past again. So lesson learnt here is that Honesty is not necessarily the best policy!

Er agree wif you bro that sharing too much might not be the best. My ex also brings my past up once in a while. In fact once we broke up i return to my past

[lasupking]

Hi bros,

Dont know if this is the right place to post this but i read thru this thread and i wanted to share my experience.. Im a relatively young guy in the early 20s and i prob have not gone thru the experiences of other bros here.. I have had several flings but prob only loved 2 girls in my life cos i was in a boys school till JC.. One was in JC but i was too painfully shy to do anything abt it and cos also my friend sabo and the whole sch knew abt it.. in the end she slipped away and till this day.. i always ask myself why was i such a f**king pussy.. actually i was quite glad we did not get together cos she and i are on very different paths in our lives and if we had gotten together.. it prob meant that we would have broken up and it would have destroyed me totally..

The next one was when i entered uni.. my friend and i met this group of girls during Xmas eve and we became good friends with them.. i got pretty close to this gal and we talked a lot on msn and she was brilliant to talk to.. it realli felt like talking to my soulmate and gradually i fell in love with her.. i only found out i fell in love with her when my friend who went to meet the girls with me during xmas told me he was dating her.. suddenly there was a cold tight grip in my stomach and i felt sick at hearing the news.. i could not sleep that night as i kept thinking wat the hell is wrong bcos initially i didnt think i would fall in love with her cos she isnt veri goodlooking and i wasnt on the lookout for love.. but her enduring personality just won me over

when my friends sensed it.. they advised me against going out with her.. cos they said shes not good enough for me.. blah blah.. then i tried my best to break her up with my friend and i succeeded.. i usually dont do this kind of stuff but i just could not bear to see her with my friend.. we got realli close during this period as she confided in me many things abt her and i did the same.. her good friend who is also a good friend of mine, told me that she had discussed with her abt me, my friend then told me that if i had asked her to be with me.. there is a high chance she will say yes.. i did not know wtf i was doing then.. why i didnt ask her to be with me.. from the time my friend told me till the time i asked her.. it was like at least 6 months.. i think once again, i got scared of being in a r/s.. this has happened more than once and everytime i got close to a girl.. i will just suddenly wake up one morning and decide that i no longer want to be with her anymore and i would jsut purposely screw things up so she will hate me.. and after that i will go for an intensive course of chionging geylang and hc.. i really want to stop my destructive behaviour but i dont know how to control myself..

therefore after she said no to me.. i was heartbroken but i also knew tt i had let my golden window of opportunity lapsed and that she now considers me a friend.. however she also promised me she wasnt going to get together with tt friend of mine and my friend also promised me ths same thing.. Alas.. t was a smokescreen and i found out that they were actually dating.. i was really fucking pissed off and my destructive nature took control of me again.. i sms her a lot of nasty messages calling her a slut and a fucked up person and that she disgusts me and i never wanted to see her face again.. she was really screwed up by all the shit i said.. after i calmed down.. i found out that i have really hurt her and tt she could not stop crying everyday.. it really broke my heart when i heard tt.. i tried to talk to her but she avoided me and when we finally talked.. she was crying in front of me as we talked and i can say right tt was officially the shittiest moment of my life.. i felt like a right shithead..

after tt.. i told myself to let this matter go.. as expected.. she and my friend got together and tt guy is no longer my friend today cos he was a lying dickhead.. u dont lie to a person u call ur bro.. tts my code.. her friend confirmed with me that my actions drove her closer to my friend and tts why they are together.. although me and her are still good friends today.. i cannot help but think if only i had asked her earlier..

I dont know anything abt whether the one u marry is the one u love most.. hpefully i will find out if tts true sometime in the future.. but all i know is that u gotta seize the moment u have right now.. if there is someone u know u love but u cannot decide if u want to be with her.. i say.. go for it.. its gonna be a lot worse if u see her with some other guy.. esp if u know u are better than tt guy.. actually.. im also very demoralised in matters of the heart liao.. i dont actually care abt finding a gf anymore.. if it comes.. it comes.. if not, go find some viet bride.. i dont give a flying fuck abt this stupid thing called love anymore.. i think got money more impt.. more girls will like u.. to bros who think true love is not abt money.. i say this: sg girls are a materialistic bunch.. if u have $$.. they will see u up.. plus if u are a nice and caring guy.. they will fall in love w u.. therefore although monay is not everything.. it is a integral step..

Juz my 2 cents worth..

Cheers

[KingBong]

Couldn't read all the replies, so just in response to TS first post, the answer in my opinion is usually no. I like to look at cars, no this is not some fetish , so I will use it as an analogy. When you were looking for your first car, you may have "fall in love" with one and would love to have it. But you looking at the price tax,maintenance etc. end of the day ended up with the best value that was affordable. We live in a realistic society, u don't buy Mers just because you love one. So how is this related? people and cars are not the same, you may think. This leads to my point that love is a feeling tats instinct and inborn. When the baby came out of the womb,the child automatically feels love for the mother. In modern times,people do things that is affected by many other external factors,not just on the basis on love alone, and that includes marriage.

[Thai Rak Thai]

Originally Posted by KingBong

Couldn't read all the replies, so just in response to TS first post, the answer in my opinion is usually no. I like to look at cars, no this is not some fetish , so I will use it as an analogy. When you were looking for your first car, you may have "fall in love" with one and would love to have it. But you looking at the price tax,maintenance etc. end of the day ended up with the best value that was affordable. We live in a realistic society, u don't buy Mers just because you love one. So how is this related? people and cars are not the same, you may think. This leads to my point that love is a feeling tats instinct and inborn. When the baby came out of the womb,the child automatically feels love for the mother. In modern times,people do things that is affected by many other external factors,not just on the basis on love alone, and that includes marriage.

so can we say at first i saw a rolls royce super fell in love with it - check pocket only got money for mazda (and rest is history as they say) so indeed one i married was not one i love most?

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by Thai Rak Thai

so can we say at first i saw a rolls royce super fell in love with it - check pocket only got money for mazda (and rest is history as they say) so indeed one i married was not one i love most?

If see Rolls Royce, I think will be more interested in driving it than owning it.

[poorman4sex]

haizzz....

at first I tot the same... I tot my wife is not the one i love most.
then I fall in love again.. have an affair... but did not last long as i soon realise it is still my wife that i still love.
maybe because staying together with wife for too long we take things for granted... or maybe see her face until sian, no more chemistry liao...
During the affair, so happy got lover again, feel so in love again.... but actually just a spike of lust... then back to square one...

so, it is not that we did not love our wife most... just we did not notice it...

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by Thai Rak Thai

so can we say at first i saw a rolls royce super fell in love with it - check pocket only got money for mazda (and rest is history as they say) so indeed one i married was not one i love most?

Not really. To confuse you (or us) further, on this no-straight-answer type question on vagaries of lfe's choices...

You looksee showrooms, and likee new thai export (any resemblance to real life tg from chonburi is merely coincidental). Go for test drive, and she turns out to be a lemon. Warranty recall? Sour liao. This sexample is more telling with used cars.

Or simply, you still not pass your driving test, never mind highway code

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Not really. To confuse you (or us) further, on this no-straight-answer type question on vagaries of lfe's choices...

You looksee showrooms, and likee new thai export (any resemblance to real life tg from chonburi is merely coincidental). Go for test drive, and she turns out to be a lemon. Warranty recall? Sour liao. This sexample is more telling with used cars.

Or simply, you still not pass your driving test, never mind highway code

A friend of mine from School days is getting married, by arranged marriage. It seems in the indian community this does happen and even in more advanced countries with the indian Diaspora (e.g. UK ,US) many of them are married this way. yet cases of divorce n incompatibility is seldom heard.

Any thoughts on this? it's like preselecting the car from the brochure without even "test driving" it

[Da Vinci]

Real strange to have pre-arranged marriage.
Marriage is a life of long term committment...............

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

Real strange to have pre-arranged marriage.
Marriage is a life of long term committment...............

Originally Posted by theUnforgotten

..seems in the indian community this does happen and even in more advanced countries with the indian Diaspora (e.g. UK ,US) many of them are married this way. yet cases of divorce n incompatibility is seldom heard..

Part of social fabric. But get real, pre-arranged are "selective" -family, business reasons etc. No diff from chinese families of old. Not qualified to explain splits-ville part. Perhaps, social stigma's (ironically) the bind?