Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

LESSON FROM JAPAN 👌👍😊

A young Malaysian man who was studying in Japan once wrote wrote on his Facebook wall :

"I was a guest in a five-star hotel in Japan, and while I was in the pool of the hotel in which I reside and there was no one in the pool but me, I urinated under the water..."

Suddenly, the water turned deep blue due presence of Urine-indicator dye, which is a chemical substance that will react with the urine to form a colored cloud in a swimming pool or hot tub, thus indicating the location of people who are urinating while they are in the water., the alarm worked, the workers came, took me out of the pool, then they told me that they would empty the water, clean the pool and I had disrupted an important section of the hotel which became a crack...

They called me after that, the receptionist handed me my passport and asked me to leave the hotel...

I left the hotel, searched for an alternative, whenever I entered a hotel, the receptionist would look at my passport, say to me : “Sorry, you are the one who p.… ah…, apologies for not accepting you and so on…

I was not allowed to stay in any hotel with swimming pool facility, so I resorted to the embassy.
They advised me of a hotel that does not have a swimming pool...

When I left Japan, the passport officer said to me after stamping my passport, "I hope you learned the lesson."

Conclusion : All of Japan knew that I urinated in the swimming pool, but here at home, up till now, our government does not know who stole billions of dollars from our state treasury.”

#Source: Tales of a malaysian. 😂😭

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[dyelook]

A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet. After they get up in the air the public address systems comes on: “This is your Captain Lydia speaking. We are cruising at 35,000 feet etc etc...”

When the announcement is finished, a woman passenger beckons to a stewardess and asks: Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?

Stewardess: Yes, Captain Lydia is a woman.

Woman: How wonderful I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?

Stewardess: Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman.

Woman: Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!

Stewardess: Ok, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women.

Woman: That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time, this has really made my day. I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!

Stewardess: One more thing you might like to know, we don't call it the cockpit any more.

😂😂😂

[SirLance]

@dyelook Thanks for the nice jokes.

[ah rat]

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[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by ah rat

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和气生财！ now I understand

[dyelook]

A woman visited her parents' home. When she opened the refrigerator, she found a picture of a supermodel in a short skimpy dress.

Woman: Mom, what's this?

Mom: Oh, I put up that picture to remind me not to over eat.

Woman: Is it working?

Mom: Yes, and No.

Woman: Meaning?

Mom: I've lost 5 kilos but your dad has gained 12 kgs...😝

[Hurricane88]

[ah rat]

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[ah rat]

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[ah rat]

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[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[ah rat]

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[ah rat]

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