Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

Why British Teachers retire early or take to drink.....

The following questions were in a UK grade 12 equivalent examination-- (Purportedly genuine answers).

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the 5 bowels... A, E, I, O, U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I conked out.)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

No wonder Britain Brexited !!

I had to share this!!!
Cheers 🍻

[warbird]

A Hot Blonde Gets Pulled Over

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.

"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration.

After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. It's... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher, a smile in his voice.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer..."

[etsys]

Some random pics I saw online

Happy Sunday

Mubarak Ramadan for those Islam brothers fasting (can visit sbf meh?)

[Hurricane88]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[ah rat]

Originally Posted by dyelook

laughter bumps...

I wait 3:15 better

[etsys]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

And going from this during British rule of India ... to today...

[signo]

[malaysiapig]

[SirLance]

Thanks for the nice jokes.

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[ah rat]

___________________

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by ah rat

___________________

ahrat... me too old to patern many many leh...

[ah rat]

Originally Posted by dyelook

ahrat... me too old to patern many many leh...

Each f**k you try one pattern.Then will complete all the pattern. And you yourself will know which pattern is more comfortable then you use more often.

But take note: Must consider your partner too.She must not like pattern you like. So must choose pattern both are comfortable.

[Hurricane88]