Marital affair

[pychan]

i dun have kids yet,
if got kids, i will never divorce.

I know she love me badly, and needed me,
she even wanna support me financially in the end,
ask me to leave everything to my wife.

but i just cant do that time.

She is very very hard to resist, do you the feel,
yes it started as fling, eventually in the end, true feeling and love involved.

I have hurt her deeply, i think she cant forget me too,
same here.

The one we married maybe not the one we love most,
i still love her, but i already reject to meet her again, or keep in touch.

delete every email, photo, phone.. .

i know i want her but i just cant live my life in agony. I know i will regret my whole life leaving my wife.

i am sorry to her, very very sorry, she in this pathetic stage, all because of my selfishness.

She no deman anything, when we break up, is the first time i saw her tears running from her eyes, she is a strong girl but emotional too.

i know she not eating and take sleeping pills for past few days.
I really hope she can get up soon. i still hurt to know her like that( she did sms me, but me no reply)


hoping she and me will recover soon,

[Taisho75]

Bro, this period of time is the hardest to go through. What u did is right. I can understand what u going through now as i was in ur shoes b4 except I was single then.

How u initiate the break n how u close it is impt as it will effect both of u.

Do feel free to ask if you have problems. Just dun turn back no matter how much she plead, if u serious about the break. If not, you will be screwed again.

It's a lot easier if you are not married.

[5ag1_Boar]

Bro pychan,

For such things, cold turkey is the way to go. Now, instead of thinking about the good thing that was, focus on making your marriage the good thing it should be. It won't be easy, for sure.

Instead of wishing your wife is like "her", do the opposite. Be to your wife, what you are like to "her". Be loving, be concern, be sweet. Start seducing your wife. Your wife will notice, and reciprocate. Go for marriage courses with her, even. I'm sure you loved your wife (else would not have married) and probably still do, just differently from "her".

You mentioned in one of your posts above, that "she" would take care of you when you were sick. Same for me too... when I was sick, my then-fling would come over to my place, buy lunch for me, sayang me. I would compare her with my then-wife thinking: "bloody hell, go to work, don't care I got lunch or not, no calls/SMSes to check on me... what kind of wife is she?" Recently, I reflected and realised, who am I to condemn my wife, when I myself don't do that for her? Now with my fiancee, I make an effort to at least SMS her if I know she is sick at home. If possible, I would buy lunch back for her during lunch hour.

On a nicer note, if I know my fiancee is home on leave, I sometimes visit her during lunch hour for a quickie. It helps to keep the flames of passion alive.

I've noticed that the more loving I am to my fiancee, the more loving and appreciative she is to me.

Good luck. If you need support, come back and post here. :-)

[PhariseesYeast]

Bro Pychan,

长痛不如短痛 goes to both people, either wife or mistress. You already made a decision, stick to it. Also stick your gun to your wife only or your indictment will happen again.


Other Bros,

Cut the girl some slack. It's also hard for her as she is brave enough to make a quick decision on her life. She is also not the only cheater here.

[Thinktwice]

Hi bro,

A game is a game.........it starts and it'll end.
Stick to the rules and enjoy it.

[pychan]

not easy decision,

my wife get to know all this already.

still in cooling off period

will update later

[heye]

all the best bro , u knw the answer best just be sure of what is desire and greed and what is necessity

[Ladyrain]

Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar

Be loving, be concern, be sweet.

Recently, I reflected and realised, who am I to condemn my wife, when I myself don't do that for her? Now with my fiancee, I make an effort to at least SMS her if I know she is sick at home. If possible, I would buy lunch back for her during lunch hour.

On a nicer note, if I know my fiancee is home on leave, I sometimes visit her during lunch hour for a quickie. It helps to keep the flames of passion alive.

I've noticed that the more loving I am to my fiancee, the more loving and appreciative she is to me.
:-)

Keep it up! I agree. Girls are Vvery easy to humor one. Not difficult if men are willing to put in abit of effort.

[LadyInNeed]

Bro pychan,
Ur state same as u
I can understand how badly hurt is it.

[pychan]

After i decide to give up her,
but she still sms me, and i replied.

My wife get to know it and very angry again.

I hardly to let go both of them,, really hard.

I still cant get her our of my mind yet,
not so easy

[5ag1_Boar]

Bro pychan,

Be strong. You must give her up cold turkey. Don't reply any of her SMS or calls. If you are using smart phone, look for SMS apps that can ignore or blacklist certain numbers. Use that to block out her SMS. If Android, you can set her contact to "All Calls To Voicemail" so that your phone will never ring if she calls. Its easier to ignore voice mail then to ignore a ringing phone... plus no need to worry that she might call when you are with wife. (If iPhone, the last time I checked, need to Jailbreak to install such a feature.)

Also, each time you respond, you give her a glimmer of hope. Which makes the process even more drawn out and harder.

It is hard to let go, and truthfully you will NEVER forget her. I've been in your shoes before. Years have passed since mine and I still have fond memories of her, but I've accepted that it never could be. While I cherish that we had a few years together and still think of her sometimes, I do wonder if she has found a man to be happy with, and also pray and wish that she is well and happy. But I have learnt to let go and stop yearning for something I cannot have.

And yes, I am happy now building a life with my fiancee. As you can be happy in the future with your wife. You just need to weather this period and focus on fixing your marriage.

[Compassion]

TS,

Can I suggest you post in the Matters of the Heart section. Your problems are best addressed in this section. There are more bros there who can also give more views.

[Taisho75]

Originally Posted by pychan

After i decide to give up her,
but she still sms me, and i replied.

My wife get to know it and very angry again.

I hardly to let go both of them,, really hard.

I still cant get her our of my mind yet,
not so easy

That's where you go wrong. Dun replied her no matter how many times she sms you.

Your wife is right to be angry with you. I stand by her.

If you can't get her off your mind, please divorce your wife and get together with her. There is nothing we can do to help you or advice you what to do.

You need to see the "shit" you need to go through, then you will understand what we are tell you. A Separation period if 1 party dun what to sign the papers. Anything can happen with you and your new girl in this period. Think if she really worth it. It's your decision and just dun regret it.

[hardworking48]

Very easy what....if you cant give her up, just take her as #2 wife mah....if she loves you, she dun mind...right?

[MsCrystal]

In my point of view, no matter how hard a man plays outside.. i tink he shouldnt bring it back to home... hmm how i put it.. u can have a mistress outside.. but seek for her understanding that u do not wish to affect ur family life...

i understand because i have been a mistress for 1.5 yrs