Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 858

malaysiapig · #**12856** 02-05-2021, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

[sammyboyimage

All in the hands of God

dipolog · #**12857** 02-05-2021, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penguin23

Sharing a whatsapp, forwarded by a friend.....

On 27/4 @ 9.15pm I was at Spa 9.
My masseuse was vietbu Joy. Afaik the Malaysian girls working that day was Hannah, Jocelyn & Cynthia. Nicole oredi left as she has finished her shift. I chose Joy because she was my regular there. Massage inside the Spa was normal and no special done because I had arranged with Joy to go for supper as I was her last customer. We had supper at Holland V then adjourn to a hotel where we stayed until @ 1am and left.

On 29/4 @ 11am I started receiving messages on my phone followed my calls. I did not response as I was with a client then.
After my client left @ 11.30am, I saw I had 7 missed calls and finally called back. It was MOH and the guy on the other end ask me to confirm whether I had been to Spa 9 on 27/4. I was told to stay put and they will send transport to pick me up for testing. About an hour later a mini-bus arrived to pick me up at our office building. On it was another 3 guys. We all sat separately far from each other. The mini-bus proceeded to pick up another guy from another nearby building and sent all 5 of us to NCID.

At NCID, I was tested and then briefed that I will have to be quarantined even though the result came out negative. From then on I felt like a prisoner as I was not allowed to go anywhere. I had to contact a family member to pack some belongings for a 14 day quarantine. After waiting for hours, finally I was transported to my quarantine hotel @ 7pm. And it was the nearby Hotel Royal on Newton road. I was given a room on the 12th floor. A small single room with just a bed, tv, mini-fridge & side table. Quite cramp with hardly any free space to move about. And cannot even go outside my room to the corridor. I was told my quarantine will end on 11/5.

Sibeh siao now..... how to explain to family and colleagues when I'm out from quarantine? I pray that I do not get a positive result during my quarantine period. Yes I was swab tested again this morning and I have another 2 more tests before my quarantine ends.

I keep in contact with Joy and was told all the staff of Spa 9 are also in quarantine but separated in different facilities

It's not a joke.... real life incident.
Just helping to share..... spa lovers please take precaution.

dyelook · #**12858** 02-05-2021, 10:54 PM

laughter bumps...

bellkite · #**12859** 03-05-2021, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Hahaha nice one!

SBMEDSUP · #**12860** 04-05-2021, 05:11 AM

Pls share more jokes.

BJstreet · #**12861** 04-05-2021, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Thanks for sharing

SBMEDSUP · #**12862** 05-05-2021, 05:43 AM

Hope to read more nice jokes.

etsys · #**12863** 05-05-2021, 07:08 AM

Bloody racist but those days people had thick skin and no snowflake ..

But now ...

Still I say, good one.

👍👍👍😂😂😂

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

[

BJstreet · #**12864** 05-05-2021, 08:30 AM

Good morning

Hurricane88 · #**12865** 05-05-2021, 02:49 PM

Hurricane88 · #**12866** 05-05-2021, 02:50 PM

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently his tool in bed was Microsoft, he had no Power Points, and he always had to have the last Word....😓😓🤪🤪🤣🤣

On top of this…

Why did Melinda divorce Bill?
"Word is that she wasn't happy with his workaholic habit of being in Office365 and having a poor Outlook. Despite how much he would Excel, she just felt like she didn't have Access to him. He also lost the only PowerPoint he had. Finally, it was not only Micro, it was Soft as well."

Hurricane88 · #**12867** 06-05-2021, 09:16 AM

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ' he explained.
'Oh darling, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?'
'Your horse phoned'

Hahaha!! 😂 😂 😂

★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•* ★

BJstreet · #**12868** 07-05-2021, 12:00 PM

Good afternoon. TGIF

Hurricane88 · #**12869** 08-05-2021, 10:31 AM

Joke Of The Day

Only for Malaysians & Singaporeans who are world champions in the English language !!!

Ah Huat and an Englishman were asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

The Englishman tried very hard but could not do it.
Then the Englishman turned to Ah Huat and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am very sure that this would be way beyond your ability."

Ah Huat thought for a while and this was what he came up with............

1 day I went 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple in the house saw me. So, I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So, I ran into a 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and tried to stab at him. 10 God he ran away.

10, I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

The Englishman fainted!

( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )

Don't laugh alone , pass on!

fallen11 · #**12870** 08-05-2021, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Joke Of The Day

Only for Malaysians & Singaporeans who are world champions in the English language !!!

Ah Huat and an Englishman were asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

The Englishman tried very hard but could not do it.
Then the Englishman turned to Ah Huat and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am very sure that this would be way beyond your ability."

Ah Huat thought for a while and this was what he came up with............

1 day I went 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple in the house saw me. So, I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So, I ran into a 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and tried to stab at him. 10 God he ran away.

10, I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

The Englishman fainted!

( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )

Don't laugh alone , pass on!

hahahahhaha
good laugh