Gers Are Still Gers

[ytytytyt]

Originally Posted by singamojo

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Bring food
2. Show up Naked

LOL!!

[suteerak1099]

typical lady & her shower
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
6. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 81 added vitamins.
7. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 81 added vitamins.
8. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
10. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
13. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet.
14. Turn off shower.
15. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Mould and Mildew Remover.
16. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
17. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
18. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a blemish.
19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

typical lady & her shower
.......
.......

Bro, good effort.

Wish I could up you for the effort.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

typical lady & her shower

Married such woman, if she is nice and gentle then all is fine but if she is demanding and bitchy, then god bless you.

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by OceanEleven

Married such woman, if she is nice and gentle then all is fine but if she is demanding and bitchy, then god bless you.

Few are nice and gentle. I think even my barber is more nice and gentle than most of the gals in my office.

Every month got their silly moods. wtf. Now, I drive down the street without gf. Feeling damn good, cos' don't have to answer silly phone calls from girls complaining not happy or feeling moody.

[solidrock]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Few are nice and gentle. I think even my barber is more nice and gentle than most of the gals in my office.

Every month got their silly moods.

She has to be very "nice and gentle" or there goes another customer.

When you are "in the red", it means you are in financial debt; you are in big trouble.
When she is "in the red," it means you'll be in bigger trouble than if you were in debt!

Heck, when Elder Aunt comes visiting, Sweet Young Things turn into MONSTERS!

They must think we must be quite dumb, because we still marry them.

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by solidrock

She has to be very "nice and gentle" or there goes another customer.

When you are "in the red", it means you are in financial debt; you are in big trouble.
When she is "in the red," it means you'll be in bigger trouble than if you were in debt!

Heck, when Elder Aunt comes visiting, Sweet Young Things turn into MONSTERS!

They must think we must be quite dumb, because we still marry them.

They think we are dumb, but we confirm that they must be doubly dumb.

Did anyone read the recent papers about the young japs not getting married, cos of lack of financial .... "stability"?

I was telling one friend. Get gf so mah fan, need to entertain her and keep her happy. Eventually, might have to sign on the dotted line and even see her change.... ie to take the hubby for granted.

Worse is that SG girls are so prone to spending excessively on nail .... slimming and etc .... kind of aesthetic enhancement procedures. And, when guy buy one set of rims to enhance car safety and handling on the road, girl can make a big fuss over it.

Bro, u r absolutely right. If girl is in the red, it is deeper red for the guy. Provision of financial contributions is, somehow, what females think guys are ... morally obligated to do. Of course, failing which means that the guy(s) concerned is incapable of providing "emotional and financial security".

I got one pair of hands, but I choose to sign cheque ... not to pay for a girl's spa slimming treatment. Rather pay for my spoiler and see the girl's crossed look. If must waste money, I rather waste on something I like (not what she likes). Love is ... unconditional. It is selfish.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by solidrock

.........Heck, when Elder Aunt comes visiting, Sweet Young Things turn into MONSTERS!

They must think we must be quite dumb, because we still marry them.

thats why the same old saynig goes, when a man marry a woman, he loses his Bachelor's while she on the other hand attains her Master's. hehehe

[suteerak1099]

-joke to share- (reference from FHM joke column - some time ago)

man's talk between a son & father;-

boy: dad, i'm curious to know how much it cost to afford a car?
dad: well, typically around the range of 70k++ to 120k++ (depending on your taste of ride)
boy: dad, then how much does it cost to afford a wife?
dad: good question son, i really dont know... as of today, i'm still counting...
boy: oh!

[solidrock]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

If girl is in the red, it is deeper red for the guy. Provision of financial contributions is, somehow, what females think guys are ... morally obligated to do. Of course, failing which means that the guy(s) concerned is incapable of providing "emotional and financial security".

When I mentioned, "when she is 'in the red," I meant when she is having her menses.... LOL! That's when she'll become uncontrollable because her hormonal change will wreak havoc with her normal behaviour.

If you are her bf or hubby, get out of her way unless you want to be a willing dartboard for her frustrations....

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

.......Did anyone read the recent papers about the young japs not getting married, cos of lack of financial .... "stability"?

well, japs do have a freaking high standard of living, its almost impossible to afford cab ride to destinations not unless its on the company's account. (even that is subject to approval for reimbursements).

commuting via the trains already can be a hefty cost, and particularly the reason why most commuters prefer to commute during the un-earthly hours (peak hour charges too pricey).

in some cases, getting settled is as good as going diving with an anvil tied round the neck.

Originally Posted by vesfreq

I was telling one friend. Get gf so mah fan, need to entertain her and keep her happy. Eventually, might have to sign on the dotted line and even see her change.... ie to take the hubby for granted.

getting gf is mah fan, but it'd be a killer if her spots reveal after putting the pen to the paper.

(invisible terms & conditions): her $ is her $, you $ is her $ too...

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Worse is that SG girls are so prone to spending excessively on nail .... slimming and etc .... kind of aesthetic enhancement procedures. And, when guy buy one set of rims to enhance car safety and handling on the road, girl can make a big fuss over it.

some minor expenditure on cosmetics & stuff, still quite bearable - end of the day, she wants to doll up & look pretty for her man.

but when it crosses the line, where she frequents the spa more than the parents/in-laws. indulge in extravagance on her 'wants' instead of domestic 'needs' etc... expect the man to be supporting all other bills except her's (occassionally asking for maintenance/allowance) something really is wrong. i tell you, the ladies card is the ultimate killer for any given circumstance.

Originally Posted by vesfreq

I got one pair of hands, but I choose to sign cheque ... not to pay for a girl's spa slimming treatment. Rather pay for my spoiler and see the girl's crossed look. If must waste money, I rather waste on something I like (not what she likes). Love is ... unconditional. It is selfish.

if she's entitled her rights to satisfy her 'wants', rightly so... she's no right to gripe when the man deos his part for the 'needs' for domestic/transportation maintenance.

[suteerak1099]

how women these days take things for granted?

1. she's been spoon fed all the while (in the comfort of her dad's household). domestic chores/errands/duties taken care of by the almighty mother/maid

2. she thinks credit card bills will automatically dissolve/disintegrate at the end of the month (when she realizes there's need to return the bank - she goes to her dad), but once married.. her man succeeds this role. (perhaps, thats the reason why most parents hurry their daughters to marry fast/early when they come of age)

3. she thinks domestic chores/duties are to be fulfilled by the mother/maid, so its absurd to expect her to lift her (expensive manicured fingers) to do simple things at home

4. she thinks she married a superman, so he's expected to be the all-rounder. 1 who can fetch the bacon, feed her, as well as her folks (sometimes forgetting that the man's folks exist), pay for the maid's levy (but often the maid is summoned to nurse her folks), leave the parental duties to the man and/or maid - so she got her personal time to go shopping...etc

5. she gets jealous when the children's affection grow for the maid and not her. some driven to the extreme where she abuses the maid, because her man dotes on the maid a little.

6. she thinks the hdb apt is fully paid for (and comes fully furnished), once the pen is put to the paper

7. she thinks less time spent at home = less or zero utility bills liable

8. she thinks air-con is FOC, and she can leave it on 24/7, if conserve abit, she use it as excuse to spend time in places where there's air-con

9. excessive use/exposure to air-con gives her the sacred right to indulge in beauty/spa - because the skin is dry

10. she thinks our cars are like matchbox/hotwheel toy cars from toy shop, no need maintenance upon purchase. she kicks up a big fuss that we overspend on the fuel consumption/mileage (forgetting that 60%-75% of it is clocked for ferrying her from point A to point B - sometimes to point C, D, E, F...etc)

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Few are nice and gentle. I think even my barber is more nice and gentle than most of the gals in my office.

Every month got their silly moods. wtf. Now, I drive down the street without gf. Feeling damn good, cos' don't have to answer silly phone calls from girls complaining not happy or feeling moody.

gentle and nice?? lol, you dont say.. lady-boys can be more mild & gentle (though their physic still a tinge masculine)

and lady-boys dont have that cranky time of the month..LOL

[EtherC]

My PHD(Permanent Head Damage) thesis on the differentiation of Men & Women:


Women do not come from Venus nor do men come from Mars. Men and women are essentially from 2 alternate realities and the operating physics of each gender's realities are drastically different but with some overlapping aspects. Women operate in a Ptolemaic system while men operate in a Copernican reality and Sex is the wormhole that joins the 2 realities. In a men's dimension basic universal forces include: honor, logic, duty, ROI-return on investment, efficiency, toys, power & wealth. Emotion exists only as a weak interacting force. In the women's dimension there is only 1 Unifying Force: emotion.

If you are a man trying to survive in a woman's dimension beware of strong emotional flux that may occur every nanosec/millisec/sec/min/day/month/year/decade/century/millenia etc. Slipshod protection measures against Emotional Flux results in men being torn to shreds. Time is also relatively malleable in the female universe as the Unifying Force of Emotion distorts the time-space fabric hence a span of 5mins measured in the men's universe may be distorted to 30mins. Electromagnetism which is essentially communicated by the particle named honor in the men's universe is non-existent in the female universe. Resultant phenomenon from lack of honor is: under the belt catfights, cry-rape/molests and queue cutting. Due to the overwhelming Unifying Force of Emotion, distances in the female universe are of no linear consequence. This in turns leads to Efficiency & Logic approaching zero. To understand these phenomenon of non-linear distance please direct your attention to the following diagram:

Men's Universe:

West------ Central ------ East

Tuas-------Toa Payoh ---- Changi
Pt A-----> Pt B --------> Pt C

(PS: Positive identification of Efficeny and Logic as non-zero entities)

Women's Universe:


Central ---- West ------- North

Tuas------ Changi ------ Kranji
Pt A<------- Pt C -------> Pt D

(Ps:Sometimes they get it right owing to probability, hence Logic is non-zero but Efficiency is approaching zero.)

Conclusion:

When venturing into the women dimension, men are advised to travel in a sound-proof spaceships equipped with thick skin shields and nag-filters. Men must be aware that in a Ptolemaic system she is the center of the Universe. Hence pilot your shuttle into constant orbit around her planet. For fuel efficiency, pampering and good humor are excellent fuel additives. Wearing a Patience helmet will also protect men from the harmful radiation emitted during Emotion Flares. Do not attempt Logic and Efficiency in a women’s reality as this will result in antimatter which invokes violent reactions. Good luck, femnauts!

I would like to extend my gratitude to the bros in Sammyboy Forum for their contributions which inspired this paper. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by solidrock

If you are her bf or hubby, get out of her way unless you want to be a willing dartboard for her frustrations....

You can run but you can never hide.......