Wife having Affairs

[mirkblood]

"To forgive is easy ...To forget???"

Ask yourself this question and think thru carefully...

I was there and today I've moved on .... gd luck bro ...

[bigmannow]

It's expected ur wife will ask for forgiveness when u show her the evidence.

Do something unexpected. Show the diary to the partners of all her other sex partners.

It's something i wud do.

[blackeagle10]

Bro,

Do not be afraid to act like a man-in-charged though you must be hurting deep inside.

1. Send her back to her mum for 2 weeks or( permanently). If her mum ask you, tell her exactly what had happen. Also keep your own parents informed as they will support you shld you chose to divorce her.
2. Call the wives / GFs of all those men that have slept with her. I think guys who can do this to you are despicable bastards, you are better off without their friendship. If the wives/Gfs tried to be funny with you, tell them that yr wife may have an STD. That would ensure some heated discussion in their home.
3. Keep the diary,is the only evidence of her infidelity. You have 6 months from today to file a divorce.
4. Refrain from having sex with her, this will only cloud yr judgement.
5. Get a good lawyer, you can pay her minimally in a divorce as this is not yr fault.
6. See a marriage counselor on yr own first for an assessment. If they think there is no hope then file a divorce.
7. There is no need to shout at her, what has happen had happen. Act like a gentleman but don't let her take control of yr life ever again. If you reconcile with her, set new terms and parameters for her, if she ever breach them, tell her that she will be gone permanently from yr life.

It is important that her mum knows about this, she may disappoint you again but with her mum in the picture she will think twice before she screws around again.

Good luck and Take care.

[heman88]

Bro,
There is no room for negotiation with her. DIVORCE and lead a new life, your wife has no guilt in her. Take care and bless you.

[darrendon]

Originally Posted by blackeagle10

Bro,

Do not be afraid to act like a man-in-charged though you must be hurting deep inside.

1. Send her back to her mum for 2 weeks or( permanently). If her mum ask you, tell her exactly what had happen. Also keep your own parents informed as they will support you shld you chose to divorce her.
2. Call the wives / GFs of all those men that have slept with her. I think guys who can do this to you are despicable bastards, you are better off without their friendship. If the wives/Gfs tried to be funny with you, tell them that yr wife may have an STD. That would ensure some heated discussion in their home.
3. Keep the diary,is the only evidence of her infidelity. You have 6 months from today to file a divorce.
4. Refrain from having sex with her, this will only cloud yr judgement.
5. Get a good lawyer, you can pay her minimally in a divorce as this is not yr fault.
6. See a marriage counselor on yr own first for an assessment. If they think there is no hope then file a divorce.
7. There is no need to shout at her, what has happen had happen. Act like a gentleman but don't let her take control of yr life ever again. If you reconcile with her, set new terms and parameters for her, if she ever breach them, tell her that she will be gone permanently from yr life.

It is important that her mum knows about this, she may disappoint you again but with her mum in the picture she will think twice before she screws around again.

Good luck and Take care.

This is really good advice.

Eugene, from your postings, it seems that your heart has soften and feel towards in forgiving your wife. I know it's really hard if you still love your wife but then think logically. You can accept her past before marriage but that doesn't mean that you can accept the things that she has done after marriage and behind your back, somemore with your friends. If you are willing to accept it, then be it but remember that your wife doesn't seems to love you. If she truly loves you, she will not do such things regardless of what. I find that she is just feeling secure when being with you. Have she ever thought of how your friends will see you as in those who she has slept with? And did she realise that she might have transfer some diseases to you and causes you death or misery? So the conclusion is does she ever care about you?

You can seek Black Eagle's advices to look for marriage counseller. They might be able to help you.

[ahboonah]

i agree with black eagle's advice. let those wives or gfs of your frien that she had screwed know. they are not fit to be your frien. fuck them man. we are not supposed to ride frien's wives or gfs. there is a chinese saying for this.

[cowboy69]

Originally Posted by BANANASKIN

a leopard will nv change its spots...
i once had a ex gf which fuck behind my back, i forgive her once. yet she did it again. Then game over for her.

I had same experience as bro bananaskin. ex gf lied to me to say went out with her girl friends and ended up i caught her red handed. I forgive her coz i love her very much (at that time). But after that, love is never the same again, the picture of her fucked by another man is always on my mind, whether we are making out or not. I became paranoid and suspicious most of the time and ended up quarreling. It dragged on for 2 years til I finally cut it off "forever". And I am happier now.

As for telling gf/wives of those men, i think it's really up to u. To each his own. The main issue is to heal ur broken heart and put everything behind u.

[sianboy]

Me too had the same experience whereby my gf(2 years relationship) cheated on me.. caught her once, twice but only break off with her on the third time..

2 years later, we patch back after she admit that she was childish and playful at that point of time.. and promise that she wun do that again..

8 month later after we get back together, history repeat itself..

that was my personnel story and experience. Though I really loved her alot alot but I know she's someone I MUZ let go.

And even know, my heart still hurts and my pride gone


I just hope to share my story with u for u are not the only one and someday somehow u shall find someone better surely

[Purgatory]

Bro,

The bottomline is can U still love her? Will you be able to forget? Or dun think about it? It's not about letting whose parents noe the story, coz IMHO it jus dun work that way... ultimately it's between U and U wife mah... coercing a relation will never work loh...so if U can't F&F den let her go loh... or if sadist enuff then revenge loh leave her by your side, torture her and ultimately torture Urself

[enzer88]

Without doubt,u must leave her!!!Betrayal by loved one is something we can't forgive and forget.Move on and forget the whole thing,i know it is not easy but there is really no other option for u,bro!!

[Vectra]

Originally Posted by sianboy

Me too had the same experience whereby my gf(2 years relationship) cheated on me.. caught her once, twice but only break off with her on the third time..

I am sure your gf is quite attractive. There's a saying that only attractive lady will be lure to stray

It will be a struggle inside you I guessed. Giving up an attractive girl or hold on while your heart and mind suffer mentally...

[Vectra]

Originally Posted by enzer88

Without doubt,u must leave her!!!Betrayal by loved one is something we can't forgive and forget.Move on and forget the whole thing,i know it is not easy but there is really no other option for u,bro!!

I dun agree on this. Though I have not got into an affair mess, I almost got into 3rd party situation. My soulmate buddy consoled me dun ever think that I was the 3rd party, it's take 2 hands to clap. (Which is quite true)

Mind you her bf was a pig head and there is no reason I cannot snatch her away. In the end I did not, and still wonder now whether should I or should I not.

[jemz]

hi

sorry to say..i've always blasted guys here to cheating on their wives and then started to point fingers wehn their own wives got into affairs of their own... but after checking your previous posts, hopefully you're all clean and never done anything, i would say, your wife has really done something that very wrong....

like someone said, perhaps you should try a marriage counsellor 1st. if all doesnt work, it's best to separate. i also cannot tahan any one of the partner cheating. be it the hubby or wife, it's just wrong. the whole concept of marriage is totally tarnished.

my ex he also cheated and i caught him a few times until i couldn't take it anymore. each time he kneeled, begged and cried, my heart soften den haix... well bro, i say, if you love her, see a counsellor, and see if things get better. if it doesnt, there's no point staying together since the trust is gone. read properly, if it doesnt. if she changes, give the r/s sometime, lots of it to heal.

i caught my hubby sending his ex those flirtish msgs also, he said sorry, i give him the benefit of the doubt, and trying to rebuild the trust also. if you love a person, i think give yourself and the other the chance. otherwise, in the future, you'll forever wonder, what if you had done that?

[dickrick]

Bro Eugene, first, sorry to hear about your wife.
Just to put things into context, we're not talking of a single one night stand with a single person. We're talking the heavy stuff - multiple partners and many occasions.
Even if you forgive, hard as it may sound; can you honestly forget? And in future, won't it be at the back of your mind every time your wife is out of sight?
As sis jemz pointed out, the trust is lost.
Nobody deserves this. This is worst than visiting WLs. With WLs you're supposed to "fire and forget". This is multiple relationships with other married people!
I would seriously heed the advice of bro blackeagle10.
Take care and try not to let this affect your job! That's the last thing you want now.

[enzer88]

Mind you her bf was a pig head and there is no reason I cannot snatch her away. In the end I did not, and still wonder now whether should I or should I not. [/QUOTE]Bro,ur situation is so much different from his.His wife is fooling around with his friend,whereas yours is a 3 parties relationship.....cannot compare...