Trouble with a capital T...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by curiouslala

Well, if i have mouth ulcer, i rub salt on it..
It's healed in a few days.. :P

Aiya...in the mouth, sooner or later will heal one...no need salt at all...

But next time when you have cut or tear in more tender and sensitive areas...I'll be ready with the salt rub...

Hahaha...others are helping me work on my problem...you are still focused on salt rub...cha bo really prioritise things differently...but no choice in life...still gotta love women...

Cheers sis...

.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by henabi

My gOsh... That night was way way WAY too epic... I don't think I will be able to handle it as well... Let alone trying to contact them for weeks n months...

So.... Theorically, since that written note you received from her, it has been like 20 over years until today?!?!

Thanks bro...

At that time...I saw it as the only window of opportunity to clear things up with him/them...and as history has bore out...once I missed it, there is no turning back...ever...

Yes bro...more than 20 years...no contact whatsoever...


Cheers bro...

.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by mrsaint100

interesting read for a while . However i guess u have protrayed to be a self centered person who has the ability to suay any women to be by your side, so i guess the years of damage did a karma return with such a dramatic ending. So did u managed to re establish the friendship ?

Thanks for reading and commenting bro...

I think as human, we are all self centred...the difference is just in degrees...

This is not really Karma bro...it's just my guilt killing me...but...the karma I'm seriously worried about is when I up...not someone else's daughter...now that would be real karma...

Nope...in all these years...never had the pleasure of re-establishing anything with them...

Cheers bro..

.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by SEAJ

OH....MY....GOD!!

This is way way too wild!! One can make an Oscar Winning Movie script from this!

Thanks bro...I guess...

I WAS going to suggest that you should be straight up and just confront the situation with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Before this last part, I had thought that since you and Chong were good buddies, that it would have been best for you to just be totally honest with his daughter, discuss with her if it would be wise to continue as lovers or not (hopefully not) and then the ways on how you and she could present you back to Ching and Chong. But this latest installment in the saga makes the whole thing just too perilous.

Bro...maybe I never made this clear...but while I feel a little sad about what happened between Chong and me...I have moved on...I do not think it was my fault at all and it was merely bad timing and misunderstanding...we cannot have everything in life and I accepted losing my best friends way back then...

The guilt I feel now comes from the girl...I really like her and the guilt come from hurting her for doing an MIA...

Or maybe not. For after all, the whole thing happened because you have been less than truthful to Ching, Chong and of course their daughter. I THINK that the whole thing with Ching and Chong 20 years ago had really been bothering you all these years - and this thing with their daughter now only brings the whole pain and tragic sorry tale back to the front burner.

I say that its about time you face the consequences once and for all - and since you ARE mostly at fault, you would be well deserving of any repercussions from it. I'd think that you would never be able to make peace with yourself for the rest of your life otherwise.

Withholding the truth, the aims justify the means, not being completely forward, not relaying important matter/news as its more convenient - yes, failings that most of us ARE guilty of. But in your case, it has led you to where you are at today.

Hang on bro...how was I less than truthful with Ching?

I really was planning to leave Sg after NS...even got a place in Uni in Scotland already...

As to the marriage part...she was with me for roughly 8 months...about 3 months as just friends...and she wanted out...the woman I eventually married...and at the time of that fateful night, was with me for almost 4 years...stuck by me despite me saying exactly the same things as I said to Ching in terms of not wanting to settle down until after getting my degree...

Retrospectively...if Ching hung on to me for even a year longer...until I joined the Air Force...she might have gotten her wish to marry me...but no, she quit, she wanted out, she gave up on us...and then she blames me?

As to Chong...yes, maybe he can be angry with me...but I was never deceitful to him...firstly, he asked me to help him win Ching over and I helped as best I can....secondly, as I replied to this question earlier...how does one say something like this to a best friend (and when ever a good time for this chat?)...if he merely asked me what I thought of Ching, I probably would have told him...but he tells me he liked her, in fact obsessing about her...as his best friend, how to tell him? Before he told me...it was none of his business who I or Ching slept with, right?...thirdly...perhaps my western mentality and his eastern mentality do not gel perfectly...but I still maintain...she and I were no longer together for many months before he even said he liked her...so there was no issue in my mind...and lastly...he is angry with me for not telling him? What about Ching? She never told him either...why is that my fault only bro?


As for the daughter...how does one be truthful in that situation? When she showed me the photos, should I say, hey, your father was my best friend??

Please think this through bro...what is her next question? Oh, really? I never heard of you before...what happened that you and daddy have not met for more than 20 years? (Because I should know, or know about you otherwise). Then should I also be truthful and tell her that her father was upset because I was fucking her mother?

I understand being truthful is good bro...but where do we draw the line?

Before she showed me the photo, I was as truthful as I can be other than my identity...unless I recite all my past and present friends and relationships to her before bedding her...or check out all her relatives and friends...there is no way we would have prevented the situation...

Not saying it's Karma or retribution or anything even remotely close to this - but this all came about because of YOU and because you failed to communicate fully when there was a need to have done so. And I'd like for you to consider to come out with it all once and for all; even print out and show him this whole thread (errr...not a good idea actually, as it would be salt to Ching, Chong and their daughter's wounds!). Ok scrap that, but IMHO, the TRUTH is still your best course of action.

The worst that can happen is that you will make an enemy of the whole Chong family - but as it is, right now, I'd think that Chong, Ching hates you...and their daughter must also NOT have you in her good books. I mean - what is she supposed to think of you just disappearing?? And maybe get punched or .....????

Thanks bro...but now that I'm MIA to her...the worst that can happen is that she hurts for longer than I'm praying for...I do not see any benefit to anyone to be honest to her or her family about this...not me, not Chong, not Ching and not the girl...contacting her again has only downsides...I will find a way to deal with my guilt...no point ruining the 'peace' of one whole family just so that I can ease my guilt...and as I asked before bro...please think this through...what happens after I 'come clean'...and after taking the punches? I will most probably have to disappear after anyway...so all I have accomplished is to bring more hurt to more people yet I'll be back to exactly where I am to her...MIA...

What exactly is the point of coming clean bro?

But, look-it, as it is, they are now NOT the good friends and practically family that you had outlined to us as was the case in the past!!

I don't know bro...we have had no contact for more than 22-23 years...

But the upside is that you may gain back some very important people that are dear to you.
I'd like to remind you that Good Friends are worth ALL the trouble.

Please read above bro...

Just MY POV - which is what I THINK you want??

Respects...and my good luck to you ...whatever you decide to do.

Thanks bro...yes, I want your POV...that's why I posted this...

Please do not take offence with my replies bro...I'm just trying to work through, in my own mind as well as reply to you...all the points you mentioned...nothing was pointed at you for trying to help ok? I take your points on board and am merely throwing out my take as a reaction...neither of us is all correct or all wrong...it's down to perspective...and I respect your views even if I do not agree to some f them...

Thanks again bro...

Cheers...

.

[yatachi]

I guess in this world nothing can be covered up. It will come and bite you around "paper cannot cover fire" the truth being made known is bad enough. But to loose 2 very good friend is worst.

[Tazzymercs]

BRO!! i just realized...if she can show you photos of her and dad....

wait..eh i confuse liao lol i tot you said that u used to carry her when she was a baby....then now u say you no contact with the daddy...wah lau lol how come your memories so lol scattered de.....

Y U NO LIKE ME...

anyway if she can show you pics of chung ching daughter and daddy..then if daddy shows her pics of you and daddy...i really wonder how she would react sia...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Tazzymercs

HO SEY LIAO...

Bro i guess correctly liao lol standard reply..I'm good lol KNN but i hate to guess correctly coz it is so painful lo....lost 2 friends leh...told ya you should have came clean ma...then its up to them to decide whether they wan to be together ma..

as the sayings goes 有缘千里能相会，无缘对面不相逢...

i really feel dread for you sia..imagine you come clean liao to chong that you up his daughter...but i dont think you up chong daughter...coz..you all never contact already right..how to carry her..hmmmmmm..but if is real...the punch he had been saving up for years will come x2 de lol one for his wife..one for the wife...and one for the daughter...maybe plus one more for future son in law...wahahahaha...blue black liao.....( PASS THE SALT PLEASE)

i think you up your buddy daughter...? wah lau...now confusing liao....KNN lol

Hahaha...KKN bro...your posts always make me laugh...even though they hurt sooo much...na bei...can't imagine if you add salt some more...

No need to prepare for punches lah...I think MIA is the way to go...otherwise, it's a police case for sure...

So...better I self-impose the FBI witness protection programme before the mob comes after me...

Tell me if you don't agree...

Cheers bro...

.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by yatachi

I guess in this world nothing can be covered up. It will come and bite you around "paper cannot cover fire" the truth being made known is bad enough. But to loose 2 very good friend is worst.

Sorry bro...I don't understand what you're saying...care to explain again please?

Cheers...

.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Tazzymercs

BRO!! i just realized...if she can show you photos of her and dad....

wait..eh i confuse liao lol i tot you said that u used to carry her when she was a baby....then now u say you no contact with the daddy...wah lau lol how come your memories so lol scattered de.....

Y U NO LIKE ME...

anyway if she can show you pics of chung ching daughter and daddy..then if daddy shows her pics of you and daddy...i really wonder how she would react sia...

WTF bro...what talking you???

If my memory like yours then I really hum ka lan already lah...

Read the last part of the story again bro...even on that night I carried her while we were running around the garden...(KNN...memory shorter than one page still dare to brag...haiz....)

And that fateful night was more than 20+ years ago...btw, if my memory serves (unfortunately not quite like yours yet...)...she should be 24-25yo this year...

Still confused bro?

Yeah...we were not big in taking photos back then...some in camp stuff with camo on faces type...other than that...almost nothing...maybe Ching has one or two of me, but I was soooo young (and cute) then, and doubt she'll flaunt it around....and she doesn't have a photo of me...remember that I said I acted blur when she asked for one? Oh sorry...forgot about your power memory...hahaha...

Na bei...


.

[Tazzymercs]

NNB la bro

i think i really confused liao okok here my confused part ah...maybe too much chong ching chung liao lol

be more patient with me leh lol i wanna rub more salt de hahaha no la joking..

1) coz you said lost all contact with chong liao right after that fateful night wwe showdown with both chong and ching..and then no contact le ma..so hor this part i abit confuse..they haven married yet right? or they married liao then have kids and you carried her liao?

2) no la i never say you have send her pics..but is that some how chong got old pictures taken with you ma..then one fine day he took it out and show the daughter..

chong : " hey darling...see this is last time daddy..slim slim hor...like a monkey..see this is daddy's friend..wizrd..my old buddy..blah blah blah"

then she see liao i really wonder what will course thru her mind sia lol

gonna be an exciting moment for the chong family

[Tazzymercs]

ok scrape number 1 point lol KNN i re read again liao lol KNN

too many chong ching make my brain chin chow liao lol

my deepest apologies...hahahaha wah lau

and my deepest condolences hahahaha if point number 2 shows up in chong family discussion

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Tazzymercs

ok scrape number 1 point lol KNN i re read again liao lol KNN

too many chong ching make my brain chin chow liao lol

my deepest apologies...hahahaha wah lau

and my deepest condolences hahahaha if point number 2 shows up in chong family discussion

Hahaha bro...why you still up?

I thought you zzzz already...even edited my earlier reply to you after I thought of what you wrote...

Yeah, second points is a bit of concern but those pics (and old time quality) really cmi one lah...even my own mother will have problems picking me out of those pics...only we know by knowing where we were standing, sitting etc...

So I'd say at most a 2.21% probability of causing a problem...

The other concern are photo that Ching has...but since the bust up...doubt she will ever bring them out as long as Chong is alive....let alone show her children...

So I'd say at most 1.778% chance of happening and 5.96% chance of causing a problem...

Plus...when she and I were joking and teasing each other...she guessed my age to be 15-18 years younger than I am...so I doubt she will ever connect that her father and I are in the same generation...

Overall, not worth worrying about for now...

But good points though bro...I hadn't thought about getting screwed by old photos before...thanks for a sleepless night now...

Cheers bro...


.

[ChairmanMao]

Originally Posted by A$$man

Bro, you are fucked...

lol, so true

[ChevelleZ]

Hahahaha damn it man!its not troule with capital T but its
Fucked with F

Haiyo yo bro, i think u shold ask ur self first lah
Do u really like her? Yes/no?
If no then just run lol
Do u really love her?
If no, run again lah
If yes, then I think u should tell her that u really love her
But something bother u which is ur history about her parent
U know.. In some way, we r similar
(Always wanna go uni in england but never, always dun believe in marriage but 'kena' married one n divorced, chased similar girl with best friend but actually already up the girl in front....trying to hook up with girls...randomly)
I guess u know too lor that if a girl really love a man then willing to do anything
If she is not that willing then maybe if its a sign not to be together loh
And if u serious about her then continue lah became serious lah
But importantly i think u should call her so she wont think u just an a-hole
Tht treat her only like a random slut lol

For the parent ah...if u determined n serious about the daughter
They will not look back lah
I think its childish crap if they still get angry
and who knows maybe after that night u spiced up their sex life
Cuz chong on bed start asking ching like 'is he better than me' 'is he bigger than me?' 'How u did with him' etc
No lah just kidding lah... Hahahahahaha
I a person that think
People came n go..also friendship
But if it keeps coming back then perhaps its a sign tht u need to clear up
the unfinished business. Whether, they still reject u or not then i believe
in the of the day you still have better closer for your self
If they reject u then it meant to be like that...

[curiouslala]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Aiya...in the mouth, sooner or later will heal one...no need salt at all...

But next time when you have cut or tear in more tender and sensitive areas...I'll be ready with the salt rub...

Hahaha...others are helping me work on my problem...you are still focused on salt rub...cha bo really prioritise things differently...but no choice in life...still gotta love women...

Cheers sis...

.

Lol..
Just saying nia la..

Anyway, my advice is still the same la.. RUN!
And please keep your radar up or put 10 radars when you're coming to her town..
I'm sure that you don't want to bump into Chong or Ching or your sweet gal or maybe helping their other children in the street n then being invited to meet the parents for thank you party..
I always have the worst scenarios in my head..

The worst isn't if Chong finally punch u in your face bcos u slept with her daughter..
But if he had heart attack once he saw you being intro-ed by her daughter as guy friend..
So, the worst would be he died in your arms..
And you will be Chong's family ultimate enemy..

Too much drama?
Well, i also think so.. But drama created from real daily life story mah..


Anyway, like u said above, you're actually not really wrong..
But, I guess he's just a normal cave (traditional) guy..
Other guy can be his wife's ex screw partner, but he nv expected his best buddy as one and some more fix them up together.. And at that time, his wife still have feelings for his best friend..
I think he felt like you're giving him an invisible slap in his face..

Maybe you should ask guys in here how would they think n feel if their best friend screw his wife before they get married? N their wives still hv feeling for his best friend even after they get married n having two lovely children..
I think, most of them will be disappointed of his best friend.. And maybe hate him..

Bcos she won't be mad at that time if she dun have any feelings for u..
And if he forgive you, you'll still in touch with him.. And he'll be the first one to be there when your marriage life goes down.. But he didn't.
Well, he maybe forgive you, but not be able to forget what happened..

Remember to watch your back when you go back to Australia..
I'm sure, no matter how long, you won't want to bump into her or any of them..
Bcos if last time you still can run n take cover, I dun think you'll get any chance to run on 2nd meeting..
And please be careful too when you try to hook up gals. At least, eyeing her first before approaching.. No one knows if you meet her in another place..

Hopefully you're not too scared with my worst case scenario view..
Bcos if I'm you, I'll run n camo myself..