The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[ss2880]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

ur words does make sense..but i dunno how easy is it to find someone like tat now...

It's not easy, but i think these days as guys we need to test the girls. Basically, it is to test if the girl is willing to go the distance for you.

e.g. not picking her up and that you getting her to travel to meet you.
e.g. get bankrupt or get into alot of debts (simulate) and see what's her reaction.

$$ is the best test since girls these days are materialistic and if they are willing to fork out $$ for you, I think you have bagged a winner.

Be it most loved or "not so" most loved, i think we as guys know that it is important that we have a strong support pillar should hard times hit.

Gone are the days that men must do whatever they can to court their favourite girls. Today, girls do the choosing of the men (we guys never have the power to choose) that they are interested in and we guys have to be discerning enough to know if they are worth our while (guys can only choose to accept her or not). Alot of times, the passionate moment of love, lust bring out only the positive sides of people and it's only through time and tests that we know if she's the real deal.

All men are made to succeed in life, it's in our blood and instincts to excel but the wrong girl can really screw up our lives big time and set our goals back by several years.

I say test them and find out if they are worthy of our love.

[vesfreq]

The best way to test a girl. Go out with her without a car. Carry a wallet without only a POSB atm card and ezlink card. Comb hair in nerd style. Emphasise your filial piety towards ur parents.

If the gal respects u for what u are and best... acknowledges the fact that u feel that sense of duty to take care of ur parents, thats the best.

Afaik, I only spend money on taking care of my parents. Women.... not worth the time courting. Its a heart wrenching emotional exercise. After days of courtship and toil, what is the objective? IMO, if a gal can be easily swayed in terms of loyalty, better put the money to employ a maid. Maid serves the household anyday anytime.

Money put into a woman... is money thrown into the black hole. Money put into a car still can get back something. Rims still can sell. Racng gauges still can sell. Performance tyres still can sell. Spoiler can sell. But, if spend on women.... u cannot get back anything. If get to bed the girl, not bad lah. If never do anything, its super... F up.

Honestly, men are pragmatic creatures too.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by ss2880

.... All men are made to succeed in life, it's in our blood and instincts to excel but the wrong girl can really screw up our lives big time and set our goals back by several years.

I say test them and find out if they are worthy of our love.

bro, test is 1 thing, bt let's not forget the old term 女大十八变 or the other term 女人最嬗变... men are known to be quite unfaltering, despite the influences thrown at him. but as for women, very easy to influence. even if she aced the test, sometime later... 1 simple session at high-tea, they come back with loads of nonsense requests/demands eg: my fren's 老公 buy cartier for her, the other 1 her 老公 give her prada from head to toe... (but she 4got to wear the set of tiffany costume jewellery to flaunt)

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

The best way to test a girl. Go out with her without a car. Carry a wallet without only a POSB atm card and ezlink card. Comb hair in nerd style. Emphasise your filial piety towards ur parents.

If the gal respects u for what u are and best... acknowledges the fact that u feel that sense of duty to take care of ur parents, thats the best. .......

bro, even that is not guaranteed success. she may be impressed by your velues, but after putting the pen to the paper, the tables may turn on u.

i've seen cases when the guy cough blood to pay for the maid's levy, so as to relief her of domestic duties, so that she got time for her hi-life as modern tai tai, and on wkends, the maid is to double duties at her mom's... but she 4got that the hubby's parents are still alive.

and when u make so much as just a small remark, "what about my parents?" she will answer, "maybe next wk lor" (but next wk never comes).... if u press on further, she will snook u with "y is it always your parents your parents your parents?... y dun just hire another 1 dedicated for them???"

we men r pragmatic, women... i dunno... is there a better word than spastic?

[suteerak1099]

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season....

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

[alba]

Before marriage...


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!



After marriage... simply read from bottom to top.

[nitecrawllerr]

Originally Posted by alba

After marriage... simply read from bottom to top.

Good one! Up u there!

[Xdecepticon]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Very true bro..

Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Move on? Been trying but just keep turning back. Really missed those fond memories before the breakoff.

[WildatHeart]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season....

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Bro, you are very sophisticated.. didnt realise it thru your other FR..
it is indeed very true, each and every sentence of it..

looking at it from another angle.. how many MAN can be consistent for a LIFETIME .. I know I cant..

I remember when I was yound at the age of looking out for a suitable girl for marriage, my belief is that to find someone different in character so that as the journey goes, it add spices and learning together..

But now I do feel regret.. it didn work as expected.. it fact back fire.. because we move "stronger" into our own character instead.. though tryng hard not to show it out for the fear of conflicting situation..

such things is not a matter of "sit down and discuss" and talk things out.. becasue no one is at fault.. it is just differences..

to add on.. my belief had always been "LOVE exist only before marriage and it is only Responsibility that sustain after marriage" but the responsibility sometimes create pain and suffering, and even loneliness...

love is blind.. but actually responsibility also blind..
love is blind but it is a willing blindness immerse in joy and fun..
responsibility is a deliberate blindess which have a favour of "kan kou xia lan zai" 辛苦谁人知..
sigh...

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Xdecepticon

......Move on? Been trying but just keep turning back. Really missed those fond memories before the breakoff.

bro, memories are something of the past, it cannot be realised or relived again. someone once shared, if we keep looking back, we'll never take another step forward. or worse, we might be walking straight into the lamp-post without realizing.

try travelling a long journey facing backwards, u're guaranteed motion sickness.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by WildatHeart

Bro, you are very sophisticated.. didnt realise it thru your other FR..
it is indeed very true, each and every sentence of it..

thanks for the kind remarks... its just a thought that many sometimes forget to realize.

Originally Posted by WildatHeart

looking at it from another angle.. how many MAN can be consistent for a LIFETIME .. I know I cant..

fact is, life is just a race with no definate endpoint, some endpoints nearer, some farther. not to mention, along life's journey, there'd be many crossroads that sometimes deviate us from our intended destination. then of course, there'd be times when we meet with fortune or misfortune, making us victims of circumstances.... or, we subconsciously move the cheese.

Originally Posted by WildatHeart

....to add on.. my belief had always been "LOVE exist only before marriage and it is only Responsibility that sustain after marriage" but the responsibility sometimes create pain and suffering, and even loneliness...

bro, the old chinese definition of love is the same across many other cultures, love is a feeling, which did not state any benchmark or equivalence. in fact, its often mentioned that loving is unconditional.

my sentiments: 什么是爱？爱就是用心去感受. [translates: wat is love? love is to feel/receive with one's heart] check the traditional chinese character for 爱, it literally is 受 [feel/receive] + 心[heart] (sandwiched in between).

[SYTlover]

Originally Posted by alba

Before marriage...


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!



After marriage... simply read from bottom to top.

WOW! Bro alba, i love this! Let me re-arrange and read.....

She: Darling!
He: Yes.
She: Can I trust you?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you kiss me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Do you love me?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

[nitecrawllerr]

Originally Posted by WildatHeart

But now I do feel regret.. it didn work as expected.. it fact back fire.. because we move "stronger" into our own character instead.. though tryng hard not to show it out for the fear of conflicting situation..

LOVE exist only before marriage and it is only Responsibility that sustain after marriage" but the responsibility sometimes create pain and suffering, and even loneliness...

Its best also during courtship time to show our likes/dislikes. Transparency between the couple. That way we know our true character b4 saying I DO.

Yes, LOVE know no boundaries b4 marriage. After marriage...sigh...

[eQuipment]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

................ my sentiments: 什么是爱？爱就是用心去感受. [translates: wat is love? love is to feel/receive with one's heart] check the traditional chinese character for 爱, it literally is 受 [feel/receive] + 心[heart] (sandwiched in between).

u mean looks like this??


i really dunno how to say, bt bro, u got very chim theory for luv.

[Xdecepticon]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

try travelling a long journey facing backwards, u're guaranteed motion sickness.

Aaaaaa..my heart ache further.