I caught my hubby

[hiswife]

Sorry for being MIA. I felt that my question was rather pointless because everyone and every situation is different so I decided to stay away from the forum for a while.

Anyway I'm back and there's another thread by a lady with similar problem and another thread asking if men would mind if their wife fucks around. LOL I asked my husband the same thing and he said he wouldn't mind if he gets to participate. There's a similar answer in that thread, selfish men's brain at work. I can fuck around but not my wife. Other people's wife fucks around is great because there are more potential FB in the market but my wife? No, she would never do that. Even though I've not touched her because I've been too busy fucking around. She doesn't like sex anyway.

Sorry for being sour. Today's not a good day. I got a feeling that one day I'm going to catch him doing the same thing again and it's just a matter of time. And I'm not sure I want to waste more time.

Marriage is a sham, there's no loving relationships. In order for your husband not to stray, you need to get plastic surgery and serve him like a hooker. Even then, he might still stray because eating the same thing gets boring. Meanwhile, women should just suck it up and close your eyes or else your husband will leave you. And that, is a summary of advice from men in this forum.

Men who complaint about no sex with wife, go get a mirror and reflects on yourself. My husband had similar complaints too and it was only his version of "truths". Are you sure you are not part of the problem?

[hiswife]

Btw, I'm not old, fat or ugly if you're wondering.

I'm also still together with my husband.

Above is just my thoughts of the day.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Everyone wants to fuck young curvaceous women who gives fantastic BJ, CIM and whatnot. News fact, real life is not porn. Real women are not shaped like barbie dolls. If you're skinny you've got no fat and no boobies unless u get a boobs job. If you complain about foreplay so much, then what have you done to get your wife wet? Or are you going to just lie down and wait to be served because that's what you get from hookers?

Men who complaint about no sex with wife, go get a mirror and reflects on yourself. My husband had similar complaints too and it was only his version of "truths". Are you sure you are not part of the problem?

Sorry sis but that a fallacy, you think every man goes for young vivacious chicks....what if you are made to feel like a freak cos she hates it each time you touch her, don't like it when you try to pet her...bites your head off cos she feels it irritating? So much so that you start falling into a depression feeling the problem is probably with me, at times even feeling life is meaningless cos the problem you realize is beyond sex, the realization that the woman you are now with, is no longer comfortable with you and the realization that god knows how many more years down the road you have to be with her, it can be very depressing....divorce, yes simple to say but the implications are far reaching especially with the archaic Women Charter around to serve the interest of women...

[happywoody]

been following this thread on and off.

TS this issue will be hanging around your head and heart until you step down from the holier than thou pedestal.

TS, if you can handle it, i think you should just have a physical thing with a stranger - paid or otherwise. Perhaps then you appreciate what it does or not do to you. only you know and deserve to know.

he didn't ask your permission, I don't think you need his.

good luck.

[Cronin]

Have you thought about trying relationship counselling?

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Btw, I'm not old, fat or ugly if you're wondering.

I'm also still together with my husband.

Above is just my thoughts of the day.

I only got 1 ques for you...

Do ur have any kids? If no why not just divorce

Women can forgive but they will never forget...

Happy 2017

[hor_chew]

TS missing?

[akapat]

Hi TS

From your tone, its just my perception, that you holds a mid to high level job in corporate world. Its true that we should not compare our marriage life to others as everyone problem are different.

You did mention that you are not fat or ugly. However, from all your thread, it seems you have quite a high ego and authoritarian character. I believe your husband is attracted to you as a whole package. Not just your look, since you not ugly.

Few time a year in sex, is seriously too low. As a men, even with low sex drive, i would say, 2 weeks no release, is pretty bad itself. For myself, it practically like i need it every 3-4 days.

Too much armies stored in us cause us mood swing as well. Same as women having period. If that is what you want to know. And masturbation can have its effect of releasing, but then, the feeling is different from actual sex. It can get boring masturbating.

By the way, im married, i am facing almost similiar problem as you. 10 years in the marriage, in the beginning, almost have sex every other day. Then things came to a slowdown when i change career path, and is not the sole breadwinner anymore, plus the suitors that pursue my wife relentlessly. My wife is very pretty and works in the airline industry, so many pilots are going after her despite her marriage status. They pamper her with expensive gifts.

It does affect her badly. In a way, she is thinking, should she stay in this marriage or leave? Cause we have 2 kids.

To be honest, i am partly to blame. When i am up there, no issues. When i am down there, issues surfaces. Well, i am pretty open minded, i had open conversation with my wife, i told her she can choose to leave with kids, or i take kids. Marriage is after all just a piece of paper. And we only live once.

If i cannot give you what you desire, and others can give you immediately, then you should leave. I can only blame myself for the incompetence.

But i always ask myself, as a wife, what has she done for me? As a mother, what has she done for the kids and family? Am i solely the one to be blame?

Well, the society is to be blame. Money is the root of all evil.

My wife don't cook for us. She is 15 days away every month. When she is back, she does not bring my kids out for recreation. She does not make love to me and in fact restrict my touches. She used to bbbj everytime we have sex.But 1 year ago, she suddenly tell me, she don't like and stopped altogether. I love her enough to stop requesting.

But to be honest, i know its her desire to have the riches now. She cannot wait.

I am also comtemplating leaving the marriage, a marriage without love, is a torture.

Back to you, do you perform duties like household chores or u have a maid?
Do you perform duties in the bedroom or you just want your man to satisfy you?
Do you share moments with your husband in works?
Do you cook for your husband?
Do you even wipe sweat off his forehead when dining at a hawker centre?
How long have you not smile to him?
His desire in not having sex with you, can i boldly ask, do you have body odours? Like armpit smell, bad breath, pussy smell etc?

Cos it does happen to me, and when i sound it out to my wife, she is not happy? Whats wrong with being honest? Well, now she does her upkeep very well, but she distance herself away from me. We as husband tried to be honest, but can wife accept the truth?

We dont need model wife, but wife should not change much from before marriage and husband also. Marriage is just the beginning of a life time courtship.

But many think, once marriage, they have secured a partner and does not need to upkeep in looking good. That thinking, is already 50% nailing a divorce cert into the coffin.

True love can withstand all storms.

If you are in forum asking whether men will continue straying and make your decision, then i would say, you guys are not in love. You guys are just comfortable with each other, and does not want changes.

My own thoughts

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by happywoody

been following this thread on and off.

TS this issue will be hanging around your head and heart until you step down from the holier than thou pedestal.

TS, if you can handle it, i think you should just have a physical thing with a stranger - paid or otherwise. Perhaps then you appreciate what it does or not do to you. only you know and deserve to know.

he didn't ask your permission, I don't think you need his.

good luck.

I did actually came to the same conclusion myself, fortunately. I guess the answer has been obvious from the start of the thread but I'm just too dense to see it. If he and I both can have our own fun, why should I be against it? There are of course issues such as money, STDs or attachment to other partner but then if he doesn't care then why should I?

I know he's paying for sex and having an affair is different but I just don't think paying for sex is feasible for women. There's a huge market of ladies for men but next to nothing for women. Although doing it with a hot young stud sure sounds tempting but I thought most male sex workers serve men too? Anyway the good thing is that it sure is easier for a woman to find a friend with benefit then the other way round.

Believe it or not, he's my first and only partner so sadly, I really do not know how it is with another person. I can't believe I'm such a prude, such an idiot. I used to be his only too, or that's what I thought. Perhaps he too wanted to see how it is to do it with others. Well, I think I would enjoy doing that too.

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by Cronin

Have you thought about trying relationship counselling?

Would it help when my main problem is my husband going to prostitutes?

Originally Posted by Tai_zi21

Do ur have any kids? If no why not just divorce

Yes, we have kids.

Originally Posted by akapat

Hi TS

I am also comtemplating leaving the marriage, a marriage without love, is a torture.

But many think, once marriage, they have secured a partner and does not need to upkeep in looking good. That thinking, is already 50% nailing a divorce cert into the coffin.

True love can withstand all storms.

If you are in forum asking whether men will continue straying and make your decision, then i would say, you guys are not in love. You guys are just comfortable with each other, and does not want changes.

I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. I don't know the whole situation but if your wife wants the other life she would have been gone. Perhaps she's still around because she wants to be with you?

I understand your point about looking good, who doesn't want to look good? But it seriously makes me mad that so many people automatically assume that a man stray because his wife is ugly. What if she's always been ugly? What if he's been going to prostitutes even before he even met her? What if she's not pretty because she was pregnant? What if he himself is ugly, balding, has big belly and maybe even is jobless too? If not looking good is 50% nail in the coffin for the marriage then most marriages are doomed I would say.

I don't want to spend time defending my looks because seriously, no one actually think they look bad regardless. I challenge you to show me a thread where the thread starter said he or she is ugly. I want to tell you how young and pretty I look but seriously what's the point?

As to little things like wiping sweat etc, no I did not do those things because I'm human too. You could not treat me like shit and expect to be loved in return. He did not realized it but the moment he started indulging in this hobby, there's a marked shift in his behavior. It's like he couldn't care less anymore. It's like if he could convince himself that wife and family both sucks, he has a valid reason to indulge himself.

You said the fact that I'm here asking means we're no longer in love. I want to ask you, what is love? Are you in love with your wife? What makes a couple "in love" vs just being comfortable?

I'm not trying to be rude, I just find it an irony that a man is telling a woman about love in a public forum. And I thought love is a woman thing

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonkyMan

Sorry sis but that a fallacy, you think every man goes for young vivacious chicks....what if you are made to feel like a freak cos she hates it each time you touch her, don't like it when you try to pet her...bites your head off cos she feels it irritating? So much so that you start falling into a depression feeling the problem is probably with me, at times even feeling life is meaningless cos the problem you realize is beyond sex, the realization that the woman you are now with, is no longer comfortable with you and the realization that god knows how many more years down the road you have to be with her, it can be very depressing....divorce, yes simple to say but the implications are far reaching especially with the archaic Women Charter around to serve the interest of women...

I'm sorry to hear about your experience, have you talk to your wife about it?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I'm sorry to hear about your experience, have you talk to your wife about it?

believe me i have done all i could but when faced with a woman with a "if its don't work just get rid of it" attitude, there is not much choice left except to put it crudely "squeeze my balls" and put up with her...maybe my "misadventures" are just an excuse for myself just to prove there is nothing wrong with me psychologically or physical and the problems really lies with her...but i guess i am well pass that stage of wanting to find out...

[happywoody]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I'm not trying to be rude, I just find it an irony that a man is telling a woman about love in a public forum. And I thought love is a woman thing

Thankfully love is not the monopoly of women.
I'm not saying the ladies are not doing a good job at it, in fact i concede you do a better job because it takes love to keep the family together and raise the next generation successfully.

While it may be instinctive for men to sow their wild oats, after the basic instincts are covered, there's aspiration for higher and larger things in life. And fundamentally, you need love for this greater good.
So there, perhaps prostitution exists for a good reason and still holds the title of the oldest profession. It allows men to indulge in their fantasy of sowing their oats without creating the stressful reality of having extended step-family. Then he goes home and raise a family with his loving wife.

[a2014]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know he's paying for sex and having an affair is different but I just don't think paying for sex is feasible for women. There's a huge market of ladies for men but next to nothing for women. Although doing it with a hot young stud sure sounds tempting but I thought most male sex workers serve men too? Anyway the good thing is that it sure is easier for a woman to find a friend with benefit then the other way round.

@hiswife, I guess it is the type of friends he is mixing around with. As you have mentioned before most of them ended up divorce. Looks like they all have the same hobby which is what most wife won't like to see. This may also be he don't have any other hobby or activities that drains his energy. Do he play games, any hobby at home. Going find prostitute cannot resolve his loneliness should he have any. At least if he want go find a decent FWB but again you won't be comfortable as well.

As for yourself again do you have any sports hobby, friend both man and ladies. Not necessary need to be friends with benefit, just need some friends, a man to understand another man who you are in doubt and not go into action yourself unless you are prepare to do so.

Take Care

[a2014]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Would it help when my main problem is my husband going to prostitutes?

Nobody can help you if your concern is he go for prostitution but again how frequent or just only a few time and got nap by you. Certainly most man here if you were to raise this issue, they will say you are a paranoid as in this place SEX is the norm.

Originally Posted by hiswife

I don't want to spend time defending my looks because seriously, no one actually think they look bad regardless. I challenge you to show me a thread where the thread starter said he or she is ugly. I want to tell you how young and pretty I look but seriously what's the point?

No need to be so work out on what other comment. Just view is as a different opinion. I do agree look is important to most man, but in actual fact any decently looking lady is good enough for all man.

Originally Posted by hiswife

You said the fact that I'm here asking means we're no longer in love. I want to ask you, what is love? Are you in love with your wife? What makes a couple "in love" vs just being comfortable?

I'm not trying to be rude, I just find it an irony that a man is telling a woman about love in a public forum. And I thought love is a woman thing

There is no need to challenge anyone or debate about what is love and who is right or wrong. I guess everyone has a different version of what the feeling of love stands for. My opinion is that if it ended up as a divorce then I guess there is still love but not deep enough as it can be easily shaken and break. So what is love ?

What had happened to you will not disappear and it takes long time to work out. Again will he change or will you change, time will tell.

Take Care