My Wedding Night.. The start of it all.

[starbuck]

Waiting for the "N"

Hope will not be too sad...I just used up all my tissues...

[maybelee]

Sorry sorry.. Been v busy lately, will update soon...

[maybelee]

Temptation - N for Never

*****

Holding hands, we walked along the beach. It is near evening, and we are just relaxing and thinking of what to have for dinner.

Me: what should we have for dinner later?
Alson: I want you. (Giggles)
Me: (hits his arms playfully and grins) weiii! The restaurants here are really expensive! Let's have cup noodles later?
Alson: Miss, what you expect? Bintan leh.

After dinner, he held my hands tight as we walk back to our resort. The sky was clear, and the stars were bright. I will never forget what he said to me.

Alson: You know, its been a long time since we star gazed. (Holds my hands even tighter).
Me: (smiles) I would like to do this with you forever.
Alson: i would like to do you forever.
Me: weiii!! Hahaha!
Alson: (strokes my hair gently) Nothing can break us, don't worry. I will be by your side.

'I will be by your side'... Echoed as I stared at the blank walls. In my right hand, I had my phone with me. I scrolled through the message again.

Alson: Maybel... I love you. I tried to forget you these few months but I couldn't.. I am sorry I said this, esp when you are already married. Its a mixture of feelings for me too. I have never love someone so hard before. You have been avoiding me ever since your wedding. Are you okay? You know I won't force you to do what you don't like. I will be by your side. Just one word from you and I will be out of your life.. You know I will do it for you.

A teardrop lands on the phone. I took another 10mins before i reply.

Me: Tomorrow. Vivo. 7pm.

Alson: thank you. See you.

Fact is, i wasn't avoiding him. I was in and out of Sg for operations. I was resting and could not answer calls or msg. I was basically just weak and recuperating. But im ok, and is ready to meet him.

I reached earlier so I queued for seats first. After being seated for about 10mins, he arrived.

Alson: Hi.. Ordered?
Me: nope, waiting for you.
Alson: Come I order your fav chicken. (Big smile)
Me: (after ordering) how have you been?
Alson: (ignoring my qn) you look damn pale. U alright?
Me: yup.. (Manages a weak smile)

He placed his right palm on my left cheek and sighed. He used to do this to me alot when we were together. My tears ran down immediately.

Alson: (taking his hand away) sorry.. Please don't cry. Don't cry anymore okay? Be happy.
Me: (hands phone over to him, with notes app turned on) read this.

'Wei... I think I have no courage to tell you face to face so here goes. I did not avoid you, I was overseas for operations. Thomas paid for them, i am eternally grateful towards him. But.. U know what? I had missed you.. There wasn't a second I ain't thinking about you.. What we had gone through.. I thought our bond is stronger than that. I left you because I don't want to burden you. I know I am selfish. I had done Thomas wrong.. But i could not control my emotions... The feelings I had for you.. I am supposed to keep them in. It takes a lot of courage to tell you things, simply because I don't know how you will react. And I care about how you will react because I realized.. That I really love you. Saying these will not help anything.. But for me, be happy okay? Deep within me, i still feel you are part of me, and this will not change..' (I omitted some private words)

I looked at him as he read the msg that took me 2 hrs to write, and he took 1min to read.

Me: (trying to loosen up the mood) wei! I took 2 hrs to write and you read so fast!
Alson: (reached over and hugged me.. Tight) you silly girl... Silly..

He brought me to a hotel he booked the previous night when he knew he will be meeting me. He got wind that Thomas was overseas and that we were already applying for annulment of marriage (We did not in the end, but that's another story). It was M hotel again.

As we stepped into the room, Alson hugged me from behind and whispered,

Alson: remember the couch?
Me: yes... (Walks towards it. He had booked the same room as our getaway).
Alson: (starts to undress me) I miss you..
Me: (closes my eyes and hugs him tighter in reply) hmmm...
Alson: (circles his fingers around my nipples and kisses my ears) i really love you.. You are still so sensitive..
Me: (kisses his lips) Love kissing you..
Alson: then i'll let you kiss me for the next 10mins (grins)
Me: you are so naught...ahh!
Alson: (tunes my nipple) who is the naughty one here..?
Me: (moans softly) i am wet...
Alson: is it? Let me check.. (Hand reaches down and pushes a finger in) someone is very wet... See? (Raises finger up to his lips and licks..) you taste like honey.. Darling.
Me: ahhh.. (Blushes) i want...
Alson: (bring ear close to my lips) what you want...?
Me: you... Please...
Alson: i can't hear you..
Me: please dear.. Fuck me..
Alson: (whispers) good girl... Spread your legs for me.
Me: (spread legs a little, lips biting my left index finger, right hand covering myself between my legs) hmm..
Alson: (sweeps my right hand away and positioned his manhood down south.
Alson: (planting kisses over me) i just want to let you know, that I am never gonna let you go.

Never.

-End of 'My Wedding Night, the Start of it all...'
Thank you for reading.
*****

Epilogue up next.

[evilair]

Thank you sis for writing down your personal story. Looking forward to the epilogue!

[maybelee]

Epilogue

To get married to the one you love... Is it that hard?
Why are we struggling so much?
Why can't I forget you?

I stared blankly out of the window... And shook my thoughts away.

It has been a couple years since the day I'm married. I'd thought our relationship has ended on that fateful night when I said sorry, but little did I know that my wedding night is the start of it all...

I leaned my forehead against the cold window glass. We were in a triangle relationship, and now.. We are in an affair. How long will this last? How far can we go? How much more can I take?

On and off, we met up. There weren't much that we did, but the physical and emotional chemistry are still there. He would poke fun of me, I would be laughing at his jokes. We are still close friends, but perhaps.. perhaps.. only by name.

I couldn't forget him. Soon enough, I isolated myself. I deleted him off all social media. I am not active on facebook, twitter, etc anymore. I was dealing with my own illness, and guess what..? Because of the things I couldn't share with him anymore, I started a blog about him, got to know someone who has the same story as me, only that he is a guy. And.. we fell in love.

He was the reason for me to get over Alson. I added Alson back on Facebook, we started chatting again, and we met up. One thing he said to me which I'll never forget, is this.

"Its a rebound. You are falling in love with him because he is like me."

I didn't realize he was right.
After that affair ended (that's another story), I was back to square one.

So if you ask me now, what's my epilogue? I would say..

I've been there, done that. Once bitten, twice shy. Temptation doesn't hold much meaning to me anymore. I won't want to ruin my marriage anymore. I still miss Alson, but perhaps I'm just missing the him back then, the Alson that gave me undivided attention, the Alson whom loved me with all his heart.

That Alson is gone.

Due to the lack of love in my marriage, I turned to another source. Will I do it again? Perhaps yes, maybe no. I'm only human.

Thank you for reading this story. Only one who had went through this will know exactly how I feel, morals aside.

And I wonder if you are reading this. Of course, names were changed, but you will know I'm talking about you. In any case you ignoring me recently is due to you knowing about this thread, don't worry. I will always be around you, as a friend, a confidant, a companion. I know you do not love me anymore, I am fine with that. I treasure our memories (i'm sure you too) and that is enough.

Next life, promise?

The End.

[late bloomer]

Sis, thx for sharing with us yr life story and concluding it with a heart-breaking epilogue.

If Alson were to read what you wrote on this thread, I'm sure he would be touched.

I also hope that all goes well with yr marriage. You did mention that yr husband is a very good man who treats u very well, but u also said that yr love for him lacks that fiery intensity.

I have one question for you tho: do u think u can live with that kind of marriage for the rest of yr life?

There is no right and wrong answer. I have met couples who continued to get along like good friends even w/o wonderful sex, and I've met couples who have great sex lives but quarrel and fight and end up in divorce ...

I just met a girl last night who is trapped in a loveless marriage and she broke into tears a few times while sharing her story to me. Deep inside I was thinking, why don't you just divorce him already ... but I didn't manage to say it out. There are so many unhappy couples all around me. I can't possibly be asking all of them to just break up. It's simply more easily said than done ...

Sister, whatever yr decision might be, remember that it will affect the lives of at least 4 people: u, yr hubby, Alson and his partner. I do hope u take care of yrself and yr health. God bless u!

[maybelee]

Originally Posted by late bloomer

Sis, thx for sharing with us yr life story and concluding it with a heart-breaking epilogue.

If Alson were to read what you wrote on this thread, I'm sure he would be touched.

I also hope that all goes well with yr marriage. You did mention that yr husband is a very good man who treats u very well, but u also said that yr love for him lacks that fiery intensity.

I have one question for you tho: do u think u can live with that kind of marriage for the rest of yr life?

There is no right and wrong answer. I have met couples who continued to get along like good friends even w/o wonderful sex, and I've met couples who have great sex lives but quarrel and fight and end up in divorce ...

I just met a girl last night who is trapped in a loveless marriage and she broke into tears a few times while sharing her story to me. Deep inside I was thinking, why don't you just divorce him already ... but I didn't manage to say it out. There are so many unhappy couples all around me. I can't possibly be asking all of them to just break up. It's simply more easily said than done ...

Sister, whatever yr decision might be, remember that it will affect the lives of at least 4 people: u, yr hubby, Alson and his partner. I do hope u take care of yrself and yr health. God bless u!

Thank you for reading and leaving a msg
Interestingly, I dreamt yesterday that my husband betrayed me for another lady and I was all upset and etc in my dream.
I guess this dream will answer your question.

I reckon that there is no absolute in this world, and that one day he might be the one who wants to divorce me first. Marriage comes with much more, and love is only part of it.

Some people feel that love is everything in a marriage, while some think otherwise. Either way, like what you've said, there is no right or wrong. Our perspective change with time as well, so I might tell you now yes I can, but one year later I couldn't. That's life.

I loved Alson deeply, which is why this comes back to me once in awhile. But I came to realize that love/sweet talks are all just a passing phase, temptation is the root to all evil.

That said, I am no saint. Which is why I succumbed to temptation. There are so much more I have to learn.

I wish Alson all the best, and that he will be happy.

And thank you, for your well wishes.

[henabi]

i guess many married couples around the world are facing the same issues you are facing...

I can't comment much at all, because I'm getting married soon... so perhaps I could comment with a much better and mature mindset once I experienced married life...

[lahchi]

I reckon that there is no absolute in this world, and that one day he might be
That said, I am no saint. Which is why I succumbed to temptation. There are so much more I have to learn.

I wish Alson all the best, and that he will be happy.

And thank you, for your well wishes. [/QUOTE]

Dear Ms TS

It is hard to be a saint in the city..many will relate to your story..many missed the boat that they were supposed to board due to reasons beyond their control or for the lack of courage but what's been done is hard to undo..if you cant be with the one you love..love the one you with (as the Stephen Stills songs goes)..in parting i wish you and your loved ones the most that matters which is PEACE LOVE and HAPPINESS

[maybelee]

Originally Posted by henabi

i guess many married couples around the world are facing the same issues you are facing...

I can't comment much at all, because I'm getting married soon... so perhaps I could comment with a much better and mature mindset once I experienced married life...

Congratulations on your marriage!
We change everyday of our lives, so enjoy and bask in your happiness now!

Originally Posted by lahchi

Dear Ms TS

It is hard to be a saint in the city..many will relate to your story..many missed the boat that they were supposed to board due to reasons beyond their control or for the lack of courage but what's been done is hard to undo..if you cant be with the one you love..love the one you with (as the Stephen Stills songs goes)..in parting i wish you and your loved ones the most that matters which is PEACE LOVE and HAPPINESS

No wonder they say the more desirable relationship is the one you can't have, ya? Thank you for your wishes! same to you too!

[lahchi]

No wonder they say the more desirable relationship is the one you can't have, ya? Thank you for your wishes! same to you too! [/QUOTE]



I know i kept the flame for someone from 1992 till she got married in 1998 and i held on to it again when she divorced in 2002..when she divorced in 2002 i thought my train had finally come but alas it wasnt to be again finally i gave up and in 2007 when i got married..I was happily married until recently when i went on a commerical sex bender sort of reliving my days of youth and wild abandon..i gotta stop soon

[eeemen]

A moving story, full of emotions, and a fair representation of the world we are in. No rights or wrongs, just how we deal with it and how we move forward.

I've heard many women/ladies telling me that it's better to marry one that loves you rather than one you love, coz over time one can learn to love. Maybe it's a possible step forward for you, thus enhancing the love that Thomas has for you?

Anyways , all the very best to you and your loved ones, and thanks for sharing! Cheers, ........................

[kpteoh84]

你以下附带的那首歌足以解释你想说的一切，虽然不能完全说出你的感叹，但内容与歌曲的来源非常相似。你就如 张嘉恒而Alson就是王力宏。

很感动的一篇文章。偶尔回味一下也会感触良多。但愿你幸福快乐。

Originally Posted by maybelee

Before you continue reading, you might want to play the song below. Cheers.

Temptation - T for Taste

*****

Alson started to kiss his way from my lips.. to my neck.. and as he moves up and look at me again, he began to unbutton my top, revealing my cleavage.

Alson: black... nice. (he stroked the straps of my black laced bra)
I blushed hard at his comment, and looks sheepishly on the floor. His tongue met mine, and I completely melted.

He shifts his knees a little, in order to spread my legs even wider. By now, my blouse is already on the floor. He fumbled to unclasp my bra and when its finally off, he grunt in satisfaction.

Looking at my naked breasts, I blushed again and this time, he held my face towards his and planted a short kiss on my lips.

Alson: You are beautiful.. Look at your nipples. They are so hard now.. (he reaches over and tweaked my right nipple a little, I moaned..)

He made his way down and inch nearer to my right boob. Smiling at me, I see my nipple disappear in his mouth. I let out a soft moan... It felt so good..

I arched my back and let his tongue do the magic. His hands were not idling as well. One of it on my left breast, the other sliding down between my legs. He began to circle his index finger outside my purple thong which is barely covering my clit.. And it went on for a good 5 minutes.

I could no longer take it anymore, and so I arched my butt up, granting him access. He took the hint really well and whispered,

Alson: You sound so good... Do you like it?
Me: (nods gently) It feels.. g... ahh!
Alson: (slides my thong to one side and inserts his index finger into my already wet pussy) How about this? Does it feel better?
I could only close my eyes and enjoy the moment... while moaning softly..

His lips found its way to mine again and our tongues locked in a sweet embrace. I gently exchanged positions with him below me, and I on top..

Still kissing, I roamed my hands down and pulled down his shorts. I pressed the tip of my index finger on top of his 'tent'. Boy.. he's already hard.

Me: Someone's... hard... already.. (between kisses)
Alson: (hands on my waist) My horny girl...
Me: (Massages from outside his underwear lightly and pulls it down) Actually... I like you too... (smiles and head reaches down.. kissing his manhood softly)
Alson: (holds my head gently and urges me to go further) My dear...

I started to plant kisses from the tip to the shaft.... My right hand reached up and massaged his balls.. I ran my tongue from his shaft back up to the tip again, and stopped.

Alson: Why..?
Me: (without a word, I began to draw circles with my tongue on the tip... making small circles... and gradually drawing bigger circles... until the whole of his manhood disappeared into my mouth.
Alson: (Strokes my hair gently...)

I picked up speed, and looked at him. He was in disbelief, but his gentle warm eyes says it all.

Alson: I'm cumming.... Can I?
Me: (nods and sucks even faster)
Alson: Argh......!!
Me: You taste so well...

His groan, together with this song playing in the background (at 4:08), were music to my ears...

*****
I wasn't married back then, and it was the start of our relationship. Looking back, I realised how much he had loved me, and protected me. If only.. time could turn back....

kpteoh84

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[Hainybear]

Nice read. Wish I can up u.

[David80]

i dnt think u will forget him.it not easy. i guess he will always have a place in your heart even the day u old. u will still remember him. even i marry i know that i still have a ex in my heart to . i can never turn back the time. time fly and life move on. it good to remember