Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

[free]

Originally Posted by STUD100

Hi, i got a thai gal fren to keep in touch. Basically thru SMS. But im tired of typing so many words at a go. IS there any gd calling cards with many mins of calling time to intro? I also need a JB or KL calling card but i duno which one to go for? Wud like to hear more about it. Coments n advice r welcome. (Is starhub 018 svc a gd one to call thai or malaysia?)

What exactly are u trying to say? Are u saying u prefer to call coz you find typing sms too tedious? And u sms in thai or english? Can consider buying a smart hp. I've used a PalmOne Treo600 before and it allows me to cut and paste sms from memos (text) files. In Thai as well thiough got to buy the add-on.

Not sure about calling Malaysia but I think Starhub 018 still gives the best deal for LOS. Even then, still a fair bit of money a month, if u call often like I do. I expect my bills to drop by at leat half though, now that I call only my tirak.

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by STUD100

Hi, i got a thai gal fren to keep in touch. Basically thru SMS. But im tired of typing so many words at a go. IS there any gd calling cards with many mins of calling time to intro? I also need a JB or KL calling card but i duno which one to go for? Wud like to hear more about it. Coments n advice r welcome. (Is starhub 018 svc a gd one to call thai or malaysia?)

The last time I came back to Sg for CNY, my friend recommanded me to buy this calling card named "SAWASDEE". You can get it from any shops along in GL not sure available in other places cos I got in GL. It cost S$8.50 and you can talk up to 100 minutes. It's one of the best budget calling card according to my friend as he needs to call his tirak everyday so I guess you can try on that.

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

The last time I came back to Sg for CNY, my friend recommanded me to buy this calling card named "SAWASDEE". You can get it from any shops along in GL not sure available in other places cos I got in GL. It cost S$8.50 and you can talk up to 100 minutes. It's one of the best budget calling card according to my friend as he needs to call his tirak everyday so I guess you can try on that.

Tried that. Line wasnt that good then', but still can accept. But we gotta understand all these "wonderful" pricesn dun matter if we are calling her on a mobile phone. Only good for fixed line and in BKK only. Many ppl in LOS dun have a fixed line at home. They rely on mobile instead. My tirak and all her friends/sisters do that. Even her mum in the countryside. Think same for PRC too??

I think Singtel Hello card still quite ok, provided one uses a fixed line phone to call the toll free 1800 number (15c/min). If use hp to call, expensive cos must add the mobile charge. But then since Starhub 018 also at 15c/min using my mobile, I used that exclusively.

There is a BCT phone system available in BKK - works/looks like a hp but charge at fixed line rate. If you must call that often and yr tirak or frd dun mind carrying another handset, it's quite feasible. Then calling cards will begin to make sense.

If any bro has a more cost effective approach, pray share. Money to teh telecoms company can definitely be put to better use.

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by free

Her own father is the one who wanted her to marry a rich frinnd's son - for his own selfish benefit (gain the guy's favor).

Another case of traditional thai family antics trying to force marriage for monetary purposes, luckily your gf is still able mantain her stand, if not she will be just be one of the many who sacrifices for the family.

Originally Posted by free

I must admit I was surprised by her daring to tell her father all these, plus she also complained to her mother and grandmother about what the dad did. They called up the father to give him a piece of their mind. Apparently the quarrel got quite big, and the step father actually warned the father never to do this to "my daughter" again. Step father sees her as his own. Her mum was still upset when we talked about that incident while I was visiting her.

Apparently I think your gf is already "Tit-Jai" towards you already if not because mostly thai girls would not spur the chances of marrying the rich so to secure their so called "Life time pension".

Originally Posted by free

At this point she doesn't want me to meet with her real dad, nor tell him much about how far we have progressed until she is sure he can't create any more problems for us. In fact she doesn't talk to him often nor intend to visit him for sometime to come. She also do not want to ask him for any financial support no matter how hard life becomes for her, cos he will expect to her obey him and do whatever he expects, as if she owes him an ROI. Kind of a shitty father she;s got.

This will be the only opposition party that I think you are going to face in her family although he had divorced the mum cos I think not matter what the thais will still have to inform the elderly that they are getting married or engagement. But nevertheless you had already got the green light from the mum and step-father so it would matter much.

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

This will be the only opposition party that I think you are going to face in her family although he had divorced the mum cos I think not matter what the thais will still have to inform the elderly that they are getting married or engagement. But nevertheless you had already got the green light from the mum and step-father so it would matter much.

Actually according to her, the key person is her maternal Grandmother. Granny was really the one who brought her up, as mum already remarried for many years liao. This I already knew even before we fell in love with each other. That was why I said I would not feel that she is 100% with me until I see her granny face-to-face. I had thought she was initially not prepared for me to meet with her granny cos she is not yet 100% confirmed on me, and we had no plans to do so for this trip. So it was indeed a nice surprise when she suggested that I meet up with her granny all of a sudden, as I was driving us towards Phayao from Chiangrai airport.

Then it all became clear. Cos we had a rental car, she realise that there is a way to do a win-win (this gal does use her head). We could drive to her auntie's house in Prae and I wait there while she go fetch her granny and the key people she wanted me to meet (7 in all) to come to the auntie's house (30 mins drive to grannys village) apart. I found out later from granny's gang that the real reason was that the neighbourhood in granny's village is a bit hostile (unlike at her mum's or auntie's). There is are lot of neighbours engaging in "keeping up with the Joneses" and "who's got a bigger house" wars, even if it means their daughters gotta sell their bodies to help their parents keep up. She dun want to put her granny's family '(and ourselves) under pressure now, as we are not getting married that soon. Further we already have a plot of land next to granny's under her name and ppl have been told it was bought by her tirak (me) for our future home. Once I show up, there will be pressure on us to start building our house. For us that house-to-be in Phrae has a lower priority then getting our biz and career in BKK (also housing) going first. We got the land now, and anything to be on it can wait until timing is right.

As for informing her real father, we will of course do that when the time is right. Tentatively the plan is for me to meet with him after next Songkran when I go visit granny's home or before we get engaged whichever comes 1st. Maybe we still want to have an enagement (if our finances permit), cos of the anticipation of what "engaged-to-be-married" meant to these 2 die-hard romantics. Already we have our rings (plain gold only) on our left hands, but at certain places (which I completely accept, and it's also with knowledge of mum and granny) she still got to change it to her right hand cos she is not married or engaged yet. They accept her wearing my ring on her left hand cos they can accept that she wears it as an expression of love for me, even though not married yet, but vicious neighbours will not bother to find out. For engagement, I will get her a nice but affordable diamond ring cos so many TGs dream of wearing a diamond engagement ring and she is of course no different.

I certainly appreciate what she has done for me - to remove my doubt that there could be something she still needs to hide from me that I cannot know. To know that all the relatives/friends at her mums already knew about us is one thing, To know that the same is true for her all important granny's family members (even frds) is even more satisfying, cos she consider granny's house as her true home. That was where her mum also lived before she remarried. So she knew that meeting with granny is very impt to me, though I do agree it is only right to meet mum 1st, and we did.

As for Dtit Jai, if you mean "ติด ใจ" as in "a heart that is adhered to , stuck on, addicted to, attached to, connected with", I believe it is very mutual now. I'm stuck on her too . Having said that, it is very comforting to know that she "fell in love" with me a few months before I even knew how she felt, inspite of her already knowing all the problems I had gone thru (since we are each other's confidant). She is a love I never had to woo, but instead my heart responded to her love. Somehow, that provides a certain amount of assurance I never had with the rest. Today, I know the meaning of "when a thai woman loves a man, she really loves with all her heart".

[nakamara]

getting in love is like being is a fairytale land hor? damn song

[free]

Originally Posted by free

...he is her step-father. He is also younger than her mum. He is damn fit of course, with the kind of work he is doing. Man of few words but I really like him. We actually can converse in Taiwanese Hokkien , cos he worked there before coming back and then later marry her mum

BTW, I forgot to say that thru her step-father, I have come to appreciate that there are nice thai men (even of poor and not well educated) around too.

I had asked her mum how she met her husband and why he went to Taiwan to work (after we had build up a bond lah, else a bit personal). She told that he had a relative in her village in Phrae (where granny lives) and sometimes visits. His relative knows my tirak's granny and he was introduced to the mum one day. He liked her and gradually fell in love with her (haha came to visit his relative very often, hehehe), even though she was a divorcee with a daughter. After about 1 year, he asked her to marry him and she agreed. Then he asked her if she is able to wait for him while he goes to Taiwan to work for 2 years and save enough money to come back to build their home, marry her and start a family. She agreed to wait and the rest is history.

Talking to my tirak's mum definitely helped me to understand why she is much more open to the modern concept of love and courtship, compared to Dancer's mum who was match-made. That is why she was able to tell my tirak to treasure my love and dun take me for granted (right in front of me!). I tell you, it is very nice have such an understanding mother-in-law-to-be.

As for her step-dad, I could hardly believe a shy and quiet man like him can be so determined and romantic, until I talked to him. Could see his eyes light up when he talks about going to work in Taiwan to earn/save money and about his wife and family and he see's Film as his daughter. That is why I never worry about him abusing Film. He has never. If anything, Film said he is a much better father to her than her own dad.

[free]

Originally Posted by nakamara

getting in love is like being is a fairytale land hor? damn song

Well if u ask me, Reality is that one climbs the highest mountains and descends the lowest valleys. It is damn "song" but it is also damn "siong". Life not a bed of roses, nor is it thorns all the way.

Even if that person is the right one for you, essentially it is 2 completely different persons (no matter how compatible u think u are) coming together, trying to mesh each other's different personality, habits, culture, beliefs with the other, that we may share our lives as one.

Staying as 2 individuals, even as both seek to become joined as one. Bringing together 2 sets of friends/relatives, enlarging our worlds even as its gonna take a lot of getting used to. No longer can one do as he/she likes w/o taking into account the impact on the other. And being so far away from each other physically, at least for now, love (while it is the pre-requisite,) has to be nurtured by trust. Without mutual trust, the love cannot be sustained, for very soon, jealousy, mistrust, insecurity, etc will creep in to eat up whatever love there was and soon it is all but over.

Inspite of all the pains and difficulties, and given that I knew what I know now about her & about myself, if I had the chance to do it all over again, would I go thru it and still pick the same person? My answer is "YES, without a shadow of doubt". In fact if I would have done it 6 months earlier, had I know her heart and mind about me. I wouldn't miss this boat the 1st time, like I did before.

[STUD100]

Thx bro free n bro bangkok master.

I dont really know how to speak or understand thai, just lucky that the gal i noe is from thai n working in Malaysia. She knows how to speak fluent eng. Will try on the Sawasdee calling card, n will intro to other calling card if ive tried n let other bros here got the info. Cos oversea call is really very exp

[subband]

Originally Posted by free

If any bro has a more cost effective approach, pray share. Money to teh telecoms company can definitely be put to better use.

Calls to thailand is expensive, it wouldn't be any cheaper. For those using starhub line, 018 is the best deal liao, acceptable clarity and realiable connection. Need not to buy those calling cards.

Those using M1 or singtel can really give sawadee card a try lor..100 mins for $8.50. Can buy in Golden Miles too. The other one is E-card. 139 mins for $9.00. Call until your HP break down.

[bhoven]

Originally Posted by free

Well if u ask me, Reality is that one climbs the highest mountains and descends the lowest valleys. It is damn "song" but it is also damn "siong". Life not a bed of roses, nor is it thorns all the way.


Without mutual trust, the love cannot be sustained, for very soon, jealousy, mistrust, insecurity, etc will creep in to eat up whatever love there was and soon it is all but over.

Inspite of all the pains and difficulties, and given that I knew what I know now about her & about myself, if I had the chance to do it all over again, would I go thru it and still pick the same person? My answer is "YES, without a shadow of doubt". In fact if I would have done it 6 months earlier, had I know her heart and mind about me. I wouldn't miss this boat the 1st time, like I did before.

Hi brudder free
Have been following your thread ( as well as your other postings like how to tell if a gal lurves u ). Can see that u have found the woman of your life and are very much in love. Your experience will help those who have loved ( especially foreign women ) but who have lost to not feel too bitter or devastated. Am very happy for you and yours....

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by free

Well if u ask me, Reality is that one climbs the highest mountains and descends the lowest valleys. It is damn "song" but it is also damn "siong". Life not a bed of roses, nor is it thorns all the way.

Bro, I don't think YOU understand what reality is about. I've asked you questions both here and in "My Filial Daughter" thread, but your answers were not what was told me me by others.

Bro, I'm not flaming you but you like to paint the picture of your "prefect" relationship which I say, like a dream. Now, I'm going to be the wettest blangket you will have and if you want to survive your relationship "til death do you part", you better do some deep thinking and find some solutions.

Bro, you have to be truthful to yourself and to your future love one. Not that you should go about telling her of what you've done or who you have done with or whatever.

You said you have not had any commercial sex while you are with Film. In January this year, you came to Hatyai. Although I was not around, you did book a girl from Kiss Lounge and you also did book a FL from Paragon Disco. Though you said you did not do anything in the room with the girls because you felt guilty when you thought of your "love", it is very hard to believe that you would take 2 girls and don't do anything with them. Moreover, from the girl's mouth, that wasn't the case. BTW, they have no reasons to lie whatsoever. Anyway, I'm not going to argue with you as to whose lying or whatever. And I also don't want to tell you things that I know to prove you wrong in your saying that "Film" is the only one in your heart and you are so faithful to her or whatever.

You told me you went for a medical checkup before you went up to be with your "love" and in the same conversation said you both went for medical checkups together. I didn't want to point your contradiction then.

Also, I don't know what financial situation you are presently, but did you tell your "love" that your "advance cheque" nearly didn't come, and then some assistance was also handed out to you for your trip there as the advance isn't sufficient? It meant to say you actually couldn't afford that trip. BTW, had I known it earlier, I would have told you NOT to go as it is ridiculous to travel on borrowed funds, no matter how close the people are to you.

What kind of impression your love and her family has of you? That you will be able to support them comfortably? I'm not talking about luxury. That your parents, relatives, siblings will be sure to love her and dote on her?

That is why I say you must bring her to SG and live with you for a couple of months to let her see for herself.

Don't tell me that your "love" has said she will be with you thru "thick and thin" and whatever cos, it always have to be "thick" first, before she will go thru the "thin".

Like I said, you had the opportunity to do your "research" and see whether she meets your requirement. But she has not.

I'm sorry what I have pointed out isn't delightful on the ears. But that's me, straight to the point and to the heart to make it as painful as possible. If you live thru it, you'll still got a chance, only a chance.

My 2 cents worth.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by free

Just an enquiry regarding your note. Declaration of marital status - unmarried or divorced is acceptable, isnt it? Also as we are planning to register in LOS, there is no nothing I need to do about MOM, I think. Anyway she has no working records with MOM.

Wrong? Check back the information I gave on the requirements on the procedures of marrying a thai in LOS in Adult Sex.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

Another case of traditional thai family antics trying to force marriage for monetary purposes, luckily your gf is still able mantain her stand, if not she will be just be one of the many who sacrifices for the family.

Apparently I think your gf is already "Tit-Jai" towards you already if not because mostly thai girls would not spur the chances of marrying the rich so to secure their so called "Life time pension".

This will be the only opposition party that I think you are going to face in her family although he had divorced the mum cos I think not matter what the thais will still have to inform the elderly that they are getting married or engagement. But nevertheless you had already got the green light from the mum and step-father so it would matter much.

I'm surprise at your observations and conclusions, considering you are also one who have a thai tirak.

Anyway, I'm not doubting bro Free's story but I always take it with a pinch of salt.

KNN, gone are the days whereby a guy actually goes to see a girl's family to seek approval for marriage. Whether it is thailand or SG, it's the same. The guy and the girl already decide, and it is only "fomality". The girl brings the guy back to "show" them who she is with, not to seek approval. You mean to say if grandma or anybody doesn't approve of Free, the relationship is off? Please, spare me lah....

KNN both of them when decided to be with each other have already been slepping with each other, you think the girl so stupide if her marriage requires permission?

My 2 cents worth.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by free

Nope, I am more concerned about her real father than the step one. I had observed the step father for a while, thru interactions with him together with his brother and neighbours and he is just like a younger version of Dancer's dad - a good and responsible man who loves his wife and family.

Her own father is the one who wanted her to marry a rich frinnd's son - for his own selfish benefit (gain the guy's favor). ....

She was later tricked by the father into accompanying him to dinner with his friend, and only upon arrival at the restaurant did she realised what was happening, when she saw a young & handsome looking man there as well. ...

At this point she doesn't want me to meet with her real dad, nor tell him much about how far we have progressed until she is sure he can't create any more problems for us. In fact she doesn't talk to him often nor intend to visit him for sometime to come. She also do not want to ask him for any financial support no matter how hard life becomes for her, cos he will expect to her obey him and do whatever he expects, as if she owes him an ROI. Kind of a shitty father she;s got,

I can see that all the people around her (or who call her) and who mattered to her are from her mum's side, so I am not bugged by her father. I too have no wish to see him now, cos I fear I may lose control of myself and tick him off instead. If anything I am really sore at his selfish act. If we can have his blessings for our union, that's cool. If not, so be it. He is not exactly the kind of father-in-law I want to have anyway. I dun speak bad about him with my tirak, cos he is still her father and I dun want to hurt her, but she also knows I don't respect him as a man (even if I have to respect him as her father - she said good enough for her).

Of course her story with the support of her family has to be true lah... her dad the bad guy, etc, etc. And I haven't heard of one that will tell me the opposite. I mean "love is blind" so no matter what, step dad is the "father of the year", "love" will be the most filial daughter, everything will be "perfect"..

BTW, why should she even think of "not asking for financial support from dad no matter how hard life becomes for her" since did is in deep financial crisis? This think shouldn't even have crossed her mind for her to mention? So the fact that it is mentioned is either dad is not in deep financial crisis, or she didn't mentioned this but you said it to make her look more "perfect"?

Have it ever cross your mind that if you were to meet with real dad, some truth which was kept from you might appear? Of course it couldn't be. They are the perfect family and all else is in the wrong.

Do you want to me put out some "facts" here to show that dad is not so bad a guy afterall as compared to the "good and loving" stepfather? I haven't met them lah... but I do know of Film's history and I'm damn good at anlysing.

BTW, I even had Film's thai phone number even before you told me she's your tirak. And no, she doesn't know who I am.

And Also, don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraging you on your "mission of love", just telling you not to "see" or "paint" the relationsihp as one that is "perfect". Although you didn't say it was perfect, but in all of your posts, is there any element that isn't "perfect"?