Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.
The first girl says "toast" -- t o a s t.
The second boy says "eggs" -- e g g s.
Little Johnny says "f*ckin nothing" -- f u c k i n g n o t h i n g.
The teacher stands him in the corner till lunch.
After lunch Little Johnny is allowed to take his seat. The first class after lunch is geography. The teacher wants to know where the Polish border lies.
Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says, "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"
***********
Little Johnny is wandering up and down the aisles of a supermarket crying his eyes out.
"What's the matter fella?" asked a stock boy.
"I've lost my mommy!" wailed Little Johnny.
"Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothed the stock boy.
"Now tell me, what's mommy like?"
"Bourbon and men with big, hard cocks," sobbed Little Johnny.
Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.
The first girl says "toast" -- t o a s t.
The second boy says "eggs" -- e g g s.
Little Johnny says "f*ckin nothing" -- f u c k i n g n o t h i n g.
The teacher stands him in the corner till lunch.
After lunch Little Johnny is allowed to take his seat. The first class after lunch is geography. The teacher wants to know where the Polish border lies.
Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says, "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"
***********
Little Johnny is wandering up and down the aisles of a supermarket crying his eyes out.
"What's the matter fella?" asked a stock boy.
"I've lost my mommy!" wailed Little Johnny.
"Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothed the stock boy.
"Now tell me, what's mommy like?"
"Bourbon and men with big, hard cocks," sobbed Little Johnny.
A guy meets a cute girl at a bar and strikes up a conversation. Many drinks and a long enjoyable evening later, he asks her to come back to his apartment.
In no time, they are in the throes of passion, tearing off each others' clothes. His manhood at full attention, he has just her socks and panties to go before reaching the promised land.
When he pulls off her socks, he realizes that she is missing all 10 toes. She explains that she lost them after having been unprotected in freezing weather, and they were amputated due to frostbite.
This immediately causes him to lose his erection and to have no desire to continue with his love making. No longer the least bit interested in continuing, he apologizes to her and rushes to get her dressed and out of his house.
As she was a real beauty and he couldn't wait to mount her, the event really bothers him so he visits his doctor and relates what happened.
Upon finishing his story, the doctor pats him on the shoulder and says, "Nothing to fret about. It just appears that you are lack toes intolerant."
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
This “TRUE” interview went as follows:
The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?”
farmer
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”
Farmer: “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”
Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”
Farmer: “I am getting to the point, Miss.” “Just imagine, if I was playing with your breasts twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't YOU get mad?”
THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED
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In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
This “TRUE” interview went as follows:
The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?”
farmer
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”
Farmer: “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”
Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”
Farmer: “I am getting to the point, Miss.” “Just imagine, if I was playing with your breasts twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't YOU get mad?”
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
This “TRUE” interview went as follows:
The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?”
farmer
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”
Farmer: “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”
Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”
Farmer: “I am getting to the point, Miss.” “Just imagine, if I was playing with your breasts twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't YOU get mad?”
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
One day, when Little Johnny was about 6 years old, he and his father went to look at some puppies. When he came home, he ran up to his mom and informed her that there were four puppies. Three were boys and one was a girl.
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.
08-03-2019, 11:01 AM
